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Sneaky Fast
Apr 24, 2013

rejutka posted:

I just want those Star Wars stories to come back. :(

Someone chronically unemployed should catalog all of those in chronological order for easy rereading

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Chwoka
Jan 27, 2008

I'm Abed, and I never watch TV.

Sneaky Fast posted:

Someone chronically unemployed should catalog all of those in chronological order for easy rereading

Just press the ? button at the bottom of one of their posts.

Double Monocle
Sep 4, 2008

Smug as fuck.
The only way to dmpc is to make an NPC the players like so much they force you to flesh them out completly.

That being said, I have the worst/best dmpc story.

Long story short the game I was playing in was hosted by a great DM at a local game store. The store had a pretty cool "living world" theme and every game hosted there was done in the same setting and interacted with each other. Ever week we got a recap of what happened around the world, and sometimes even bumped into other parties.

The store owner hosted his own game on an odd day with his inner circle. This was the epic group everyone in the world had heard of. They had been playing this game for like 3 years so whatever.

Cue our new game of level 4ish hero's also immediately running afoul of another adventuring party in the main city. A party who's members were introduced as the super epic level store owner group.

So after telling us how awesome they are and even having a couple of the players come and roleplay their dudes, they decide t
o basically railroad us into things. Fetch quests, dungeons, clean my sword. Whatever. They just sat around and gloated how cool they were.

So the dmpc party that's actually an epic level party from another game is controlling us and its pissing everyone off. Not to mention several players in this group didn't really get along with the dmpcs original players

So one day a line is crossed. Some casual comment caused our party wizard to snap. I don't remember what was said by the dmpc, but I remember the wizard saying "gently caress this bullshit, I cast scorching ray". His target was the epic level cleric/warlord.

The spell blasts the dude into nothingness. The rest of the epic party begin to beg for their lives.

Turns out they are all look alikes pretending to be the real deal.

loving smartass DM.

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Double Monocle posted:

The only way to dmpc is to make an NPC the players like so much they force you to flesh them out completly.

That being said, I have the worst/best dmpc story.

Long story short the game I was playing in was hosted by a great DM at a local game store. The store had a pretty cool "living world" theme and every game hosted there was done in the same setting and interacted with each other. Ever week we got a recap of what happened around the world, and sometimes even bumped into other parties.

The store owner hosted his own game on an odd day with his inner circle. This was the epic group everyone in the world had heard of. They had been playing this game for like 3 years so whatever.

Cue our new game of level 4ish hero's also immediately running afoul of another adventuring party in the main city. A party who's members were introduced as the super epic level store owner group.

So after telling us how awesome they are and even having a couple of the players come and roleplay their dudes, they decide t
o basically railroad us into things. Fetch quests, dungeons, clean my sword. Whatever. They just sat around and gloated how cool they were.

So the dmpc party that's actually an epic level party from another game is controlling us and its pissing everyone off. Not to mention several players in this group didn't really get along with the dmpcs original players

So one day a line is crossed. Some casual comment caused our party wizard to snap. I don't remember what was said by the dmpc, but I remember the wizard saying "gently caress this bullshit, I cast scorching ray". His target was the epic level cleric/warlord.

The spell blasts the dude into nothingness. The rest of the epic party begin to beg for their lives.

Turns out they are all look alikes pretending to be the real deal.

loving smartass DM.

That's lovely and genius at the same time.

Elector_Nerdlingen
Sep 27, 2004



Double Monocle posted:

loving smartass DM.

That's loving great.

Reminds me of a Hackmaster game I ran where the PCs finally make it back to town (after getting sidetracked for two days on the way back from the dungeon) and decide to hit the pub to boast about their epic victory only to find a group of adventurers already there, already boasting about conquering the same dungeon. They weren't even scratched up, since they'd been following the same leads as the PCs and had just happened to arrive a day late. they even had the head of the biggest monster as a trophy!

I've never seen a group of players so completely focused on the same thing (in this case, murdering said NPCs).

Kerzoro
Jun 26, 2010

Ah, store stories...

There have been a number of places to play games around here, but as for STORES... only one really comes to mind that has lasted a significant amount of time.

This store is mainly a bookstore. It used to be a chain, with several small stores all over the place, before they all closed down except for one. This one is very large, well situated, and it had a space where people would play. Later, it would open most of its second floor to play.

It hosts M:TG tournaments (because money), but it also had a space for wargames (at the time, warhammer) and roleplaying tables. It was pretty noisy. The library also stocks comics (one of the few places in the city to do so), cards, anime and manga stuff, some anime/game OSTs, figures, and roleplaying books.

So what was the problem?

For one, prices. This has always plagued it. Everything is expensive. They have ancient stock that is STILL expensive. Ancient Stock is also the problem: there hasn't been a new roleplaying book in the store since 4th ed, and those took a while to arrive. They have a LOT of old DnD stuff, from 3E to AD&D, as well as a lot of white wolf stuff (a looot of mind-eye's theater) and some games I don't even remember. Again, expensive.

Once, they had a big sale to get rid of said ancient stuff. I had never seen those shelves looking emptier before. I even bought a few books myself. They have since stopped the sale, and those shelves are collecting dust. As for new geek stuff? They do keep bringing comics and M:TG (and I THINK Yugioh). I see a new manga book from time to time. I don't think they sell very many, especially since they are stored behind a screen was in the back of one of the sections.

Eventually, they closed the top floor for "renovations", which led to the removal of roleplaying and wargaming. As far as I know, only card games get played there now.

So... what happened to this place?

Well, for one, the owners. A man and one of his daughters ran the place. He died a few years back, and the daughter got into a fight with her siblings over who would keep the store. One of her sisters took over. BEFORE she took over was when the sale happened, AFTER she took over was when the "renovations" happened. Honestly, even before this, I suspect the owner could not keep up with the way people could use courier services to bring stuff from the US to Colombia, which meant people could get everything cheaper. New stores have cropped up that bring merchandise at more reasonable (if still expensive, because importation taxes) prices.

I do stop there form time to time. The store is between my home and my workplace, alongside one of the routes I use to walk. Rarely, I might even buy something. Most of the time tho, I just sigh at the prices and ancient merchandise and leave.

taiyoko
Jan 10, 2008


We've had my favorite NPC interaction ever in tonight's Shadowrun game. He's a deliberately not very bright corp brat who thinks he's an awesome shadowrunner, but everything he knows is what he's seen in the trids. This idiot's name is Hex and he has 8 edge, the ridiculous amount of luck generally the only reason he's not gotten himself killed yet.

Hex had come into possession of a commlink number of a character, important to both the party and a party of NPCs that are sort of our rivals. He set up a meeting at a Stuffer Shack in the Barrens with one of the NPC party, Dr. Jekyll, to exchange the number. Our mission was to get to the meet before Dr. Jekyll and get the number for ourselves.

We get there and Hex is sitting in a booth. Our street sam, Halestorm, convinces Hex that *he* is in fact Dr. Jekyll. Hex, in a moment of not-quite-idiocy, asks for the password. Hale responds with "Give me the commlink before I punch you." Turns out that's the password. We get the commlink, and Hex exits the Stuffer Shack by the side door, doing the Skyrim sneaking crouch, because he totally needs to be stealthy. Also before he leaves, I manage to hack one of Hex's other two commlinks, reformat it, and reboot, bricking it.

PublicOpinion
Oct 21, 2010

Her style is new but the face is the same as it was so long ago...
Tonight saw the first part of the end of my 13th Age campaign, going strong for a year and a half, as the party faced off against the Lich King. But not every PC was looking to brawl. Even before becoming a Chaos Mage for real, one PC embraced the weird poo poo aesthetic by making eyes at the various disgusting monsters and weird dudes the party has met. The previous high point of her personal quest was in the afterlife where her headless corpse stole a kiss from a dead wrestler. Faced with throwing down against an Icon in the seat of his power, an incredibly unlikely initiative roll (humans get to roll twice, she got twenties on both) got her out of the gate first and she sauntered over to the horrific skeleton man with the single beefy arm, hopped up to get to head-level with his twelve-foot stature, and popped one right on his lipless teeth before hopping back from the throne as her entire turn.

Once upon a time, I tried to give important NPCs dignity.

SpiritOfLenin
Apr 29, 2013

be happy :3


Escorting a heretic and crazy pygmies

Tonight in our Dark Heresy 2nd edition campaign we had a session long escort quest - we were supposed to deliver this crazy cult leader to our Inquisitor, except due to complications caused by a senior Inquisitorial agent, we were stuck far below underground, and we had to drag the smug heretic through miles and miles of underground caverns and abandoned industrial complexes. Now we gave him some liberties to ensure that he would not make the hard journey even harder, the liberties which were that we didn't manacle him, and that we let him have a single knife, and in return he would not cause any trouble. Of course, he eventually did cause trouble because he was a crazy cultist, but at least we got most of the way towards the surface without him slowing us down - he was a super annoying smug rear end in a top hat most of the time though.

The last obstacle in our way before we could get to safety was this village filled with crazy Chaos worshipping mutant pygmies. Now, we sneaked in, but didn't manage to completely surprise them as my Ad Mech diplomat hosed up the stealth roll. It also didn't help that our good friend the crazy cultist yelled at the pygmies, and seemed to be about to do some heretical ritual. While the rest of our group focused on the pygmies, I shot the bloody stupid cultist to discourage any creepy rituals. He did seem to stop trying to do any rituals, but kept waving that knife around for a while until our Arbite shot it out of his hand... with a bolt pistol, so he also took some damage. Now, the pygmies didn't do too much over all, they were crazy pygmies armed with spears against a bunch of heavily armed Acolytes after all... but one of them started an unarmed duel with the cultist. And kicked him into an acid river. Now our mission required him alive, so we had to (unfortunately) rescue him, and in the attempt he tried to drag our Psyker into the acid river as well. She managed to drag him back to land - and then the Psyker and our Assassin started pummeling the annoying bastard. He did raise his hands up in surrender pretty soon, smiling with a face full of broken teeth, and saying "You got me good". The bastard was pretty certain now we would just drag him up to the surface considering how we had let him go untied before after he'd caused some trouble...

Instead the Assassin just punched him again and between him and the Psyker they beat him unconscious, after which we put him in manacles, tied him into a long wooden pole, covered up his mouth, and punched him in the face whenever he showed signs of consciousness. We were supposed to bring him back relatively healthy so the rear end in a top hat senior Inquisitorial agent who had (literally) dropped us and the cultist into a deep pit wasn't exactly thrilled. We did claim that he 'accidentally' hit his head several times after a crazy pygmy shoved him into an acid river. For some reason the agent didn't believe us.

Foolster41
Aug 2, 2013

"It's a non-speaking role"
So I got to reenact part of rosencrantz and guildenstern with my 13th age fantasy wild west party. They were convinced the BBG was actually just a mid-level guy. They set up a meeting with him and an extra-planal demon trickster(!). They wanted a bunch of a magical rock from the BBG. He says okay and writes out a note which he gives to some goons to take them (on what's basically an old west version of a RV) to the dwarves who will give it over. (They went over night, giving them the chance to steal the note if they wished, but they didn't.). The dwarf there reads the message
"The bearers of this message are to be executed. So be it." The entire party: "WAAAAHT?!"
A very tough fight then broke out (about 2.8x! I wanted this one to be especially hard since it was a pre-level up.) and they managed to pull through.

Rosencrantz and guildastern are NOT dead. :)

Edit: Oh and I mentioned a board game night at that store. I went and happened to meet someone else who is an aspiring game designer, so this turned into an opportunity have my games play-tested, and I'll try some of his games which sound pretty neat.

Foolster41 fucked around with this message at 01:15 on Jan 20, 2015

susan
Jan 14, 2013
Me GMing this weekend: So, was there any information you wanted to look up while you were still in town?

Player: I want to do a bit of digging on the net about this Bilbin guy, see if he has any criminal contacts in the area we may be able to find and impersonate.

Me: Aaaaaalright, you can try to look that up, but this is a fairly secretive organization that has a lot of high level security an-

*player bosses the computer roll*

Me: -d you totally find out about another local lieutenant in the organization who helped pull Bilbin into the crime family. He's a mid-level boss, relays information between Bilbin and the head family members, and his name isssssssssss...

*pulls up IMDB, first name seen*

Me: ...Rory Gilmore.

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!

susan posted:

Me GMing this weekend: So, was there any information you wanted to look up while you were still in town?

Player: I want to do a bit of digging on the net about this Bilbin guy, see if he has any criminal contacts in the area we may be able to find and impersonate.

Me: Aaaaaalright, you can try to look that up, but this is a fairly secretive organization that has a lot of high level security an-

*player bosses the computer roll*

Me: -d you totally find out about another local lieutenant in the organization who helped pull Bilbin into the crime family. He's a mid-level boss, relays information between Bilbin and the head family members, and his name isssssssssss...

*pulls up IMDB, first name seen*

Me: ...Rory Gilmore.

Stars Hollow hides a dark secret.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

You gotta love Asspull names.

My cousin had a game where due to not thinking, he ended up naming at least six different dudes Anthony before someone pointed it out to him.

Dareon
Apr 6, 2009

by vyelkin
I used to wind up mixing and matching the names of the game designers that worked on the rules we were playing. Now I use a random generator, which can generate its own oddities.

Doodmons
Jan 17, 2009
I'm loving terrible with names and coming up with names, whether it's on the spot or part of campaign planning. For some reason, I have less trouble with nicknames or street names or whatever, so NPCs in my games tend to either be called Geoffrey or something wacky like Ricky Tick. At one point the PCs were in a scene with two Charles, a Geoff, a Geoffrey and someone named The Boss.

Harrow
Jun 30, 2012

Robindaybird posted:

You gotta love Asspull names.

My cousin had a game where due to not thinking, he ended up naming at least six different dudes Anthony before someone pointed it out to him.

In the first session I ever GMed, a 4e Dark Sun game, the Bard player decided to tell a story about his mentor. Halfway through saying his name, he changed stream from "Esteban" to "Steve." And thus was born Estesteve, the Bard, an NPC who has thereafter appeared in every campaign I ever GMed. In one of them, he was even a minor antagonist--a singing necromancer heading up a nefarious band of undead musicians.

petrol blue
Feb 9, 2013

sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers

Harrow posted:

a nefarious band of undead musicians.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgPktHU5q2A

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!
I was in a game where the GM was a telemarketer, and thus was given hundreds upon thousands of names of people to call. Turns out, a lot of people have really odd names. More people than you would hope have some kind of absurd pun for a name, too. So he'd write these names down and use them for NPC names, or for PC names if we wanted to roll the proverbial dice. It was amazing.

Babe Magnet
Jun 2, 2008

I make random noises when I can't be assed to make a real character

Last DW game my players were aligned with Buhhess, an ancient skeletal priest, against a band of barbaric elves lead by Snurck

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Dareon posted:

I used to wind up mixing and matching the names of the game designers that worked on the rules we were playing. Now I use a random generator, which can generate its own oddities.

Tried to use that generator to create myself a random African name.

Tumelo Ekundayo Obama.

Harrow
Jun 30, 2012


A surprisingly accurate summary of that campaign, actually.

Dareon posted:

I used to wind up mixing and matching the names of the game designers that worked on the rules we were playing. Now I use a random generator, which can generate its own oddities.

Didn't notice this post before. Also, somehow didn't know this generator existed, despite using Behind the Name regularly for character names. This is going to up my GMing game pretty meaningfully, in that I won't have to sit there for 45 seconds going, "Uh... well, his name is, er... Jim," every time a player asks an NPC's name.

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!
“I don’t think of it as necromancy so much as providing homeless spirits with affordable long-term housing.”

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.
I'm playing in a 7th Sea game right now where all the PCs are officers on a ship, but the regular sailors are all NPCs. They usually could go without names, but whenever we have reason to shout out a name, it usually comes from FTL or some other video game with tons of names in its database. So, now we have brute squads full of guys named Wiggles, Nubbins, Xin Xin, and Scoops. We also have three Arab dudes in the crew named Kareem, Abdul, and Jabbar.

My character, the captain, took a liking to one particular brute because he distinguished himself from his squad by doing badass stuff against all odds in key situations. I bought a henchman advantage for my character to upgrade him, but then he got lost falling down an underground chasm. My character fell to her knees, shook her fists at the heavens, and wailed:

NUBBINS! NOOOOOO! NUUUUUUBBBBBIIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS!

Dignity.

TyrsHTML
May 13, 2004

My inability to think on my feet lead to the strong armed french guy thug to be named louis Armstrong. So many jazz/horn jokes.

Kerzoro
Jun 26, 2010

TyrsHTML posted:

My inability to think on my feet lead to the strong armed french guy thug to be named louis Armstrong. So many jazz/horn jokes.

With plenty of MANLY posing + sparkles, I hope.

Railing Kill posted:

I'm playing in a 7th Sea game right now where all the PCs are officers on a ship, but the regular sailors are all NPCs. They usually could go without names, but whenever we have reason to shout out a name, it usually comes from FTL or some other video game with tons of names in its database. So, now we have brute squads full of guys named Wiggles, Nubbins, Xin Xin, and Scoops. We also have three Arab dudes in the crew named Kareem, Abdul, and Jabbar.

My character, the captain, took a liking to one particular brute because he distinguished himself from his squad by doing badass stuff against all odds in key situations. I bought a henchman advantage for my character to upgrade him, but then he got lost falling down an underground chasm. My character fell to her knees, shook her fists at the heavens, and wailed:

NUBBINS! NOOOOOO! NUUUUUUBBBBBIIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS!

Dignity.

Did... did you ever rescue Nubbins :ohdear:

petrol blue
Feb 9, 2013

sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers

Harrow posted:

I won't have to sit there for 45 seconds going, "Uh... well, his name is, er... Jim," every time a player asks an NPC's name.

I'd recommend having a pregenned list of names in a text file to save even more time - you can have different sections for elfy names or religious name&title, etc, and you can easily mark them as used and by which npc.

Baudin
Dec 31, 2009

petrol blue posted:

I'd recommend having a pregenned list of names in a text file to save even more time - you can have different sections for elfy names or religious name&title, etc, and you can easily mark them as used and by which npc.

This is a very good idea. I can't believe I've never though of it before. Thanks PB - your posts are always insightful and useful in this thread.

Doodmons
Jan 17, 2009
There's a free pdf called the Story Games Name Project which is literally that writ large. It's a huge pdf with shitloads of names divided into sections, so you can look up Arabian Nobility Female names or Dwarf Street Names quickly.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
Here's how real nerds do it



Although using a rolodex is probably a decent idea. I have a bunch of pre-rolled NPC cards for random people and generate names with a little program I wrote years ago. I should probably update it to roll all the stats as well but :effort:

Elector_Nerdlingen
Sep 27, 2004



Harrow posted:

I won't have to sit there for 45 seconds going, "Uh... well, his name is, er... Jim," every time a player asks an NPC's name.

I've noticed something. Everyone has a name that they tend towards picking as "generic name" in this situation.

This has resulted in over half the NPCs in one game I've run being called Dave or David, and the same proportion in my friend's game being called Andy or Andrew.

razorrozar
Feb 21, 2012

by Cyrano4747

AlphaDog posted:

I've noticed something. Everyone has a name that they tend towards picking as "generic name" in this situation.

This has resulted in over half the NPCs in one game I've run being called Dave or David, and the same proportion in my friend's game being called Andy or Andrew.

It's Steve in my games. Steve the guard, Steve the street vendor, Steve the apprentice pickpocket.

petrol blue
Feb 9, 2013

sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers

Doodmons posted:

There's a free pdf called the Story Games Name Project which is literally that writ large. It's a huge pdf with shitloads of names divided into sections, so you can look up Arabian Nobility Female names or Dwarf Street Names quickly.

But don't you then hit the problem of taking 30s to look up the right section? And by then you could have thought of one... Dammit, names are hard.

This is the pdf. It's awesome, but I'd want to use it as source material rather than reference it in play. Great copypasta, though.

Also, Baudin, thanks, that made my day! :3:

JustJeff88
Jan 15, 2008

I AM
CONSISTENTLY
ANNOYING
...
JUST TERRIBLE


THIS BADGE OF SHAME IS WORTH 0.45 DOUBLE DRAGON ADVANCES

:dogout:
of SA-Mart forever

AlphaDog posted:

I've noticed something. Everyone has a name that they tend towards picking as "generic name" in this situation.

This has resulted in over half the NPCs in one game I've run being called Dave or David, and the same proportion in my friend's game being called Andy or Andrew.

razorrozar posted:

It's Steve in my games. Steve the guard, Steve the street vendor, Steve the apprentice pickpocket.

Mine is Geoff/Jeff, not surprisingly, but if I need a second name quickly it's often "Bob" or "Sebastien" (sometimes French accent, sometimes not)

If I need a lady's name, I have a weird fondness for "Beverly" even though I don't know anyone by that name.

(Yes, I realise that Beverly is unisex)

The Crotch
Oct 16, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo
Well yesterday was, uh... it was a thing, it was.

A year-and-a-half-long-so-far game has given my PCs a decent amount of time to collect a gaggle of NPC hangers-on. Yesterday's session was supposed to be them, their semi-amiable sorceress prisoner looking for a chance to earn her freedom, their little plant-dude mascot with dreams of turning into a treant, and a half-elf noblewoman, clearing out a spooky cursed castle. There were going to be enthralled stone giants and a demon that hops bodies when killed to ensure that whoever owns the castle, he's the one that's really in control, and...

I guess maybe they'll go for that castle next week, 'cause...

Rhea: The aforementioned noblewoman NPC. Bounces in and out of plot periodically, but has been fairly involved lately.
Shaar: A multiclassed monstrosity of a half-orc knight, with an emphasis on being the scariest dude that ever lived. Has been courting Rhea for, like, a year now (which mostly involves cooking traditional orcish meals).
Illia: A greedy tiefling fighter/monk who cares for little save for herself and her fellow front-liner, Shaar. Strongest martial combatant in the party, and absolutely despises Rhea. Has maneuvered things to become nearly immortal: so long as her head is not destroyed, her body will regenerate.
Eydan: Druid, ambassador of the fey, dude with air in his blood. His player is fairly quiet, but very creative with his magic.
Venali: Elven ranger/rogue. Reformed cultist trying to turn over a new leaf.

So before assaulting the castle, they decided to take some downtime. Better equip themselves, gather up some information on the demon in the castle, etc. Some folks had a little less to do than others, and Illia and Rhea spent a lot of time sparring in the woods some distance from the party. When everyone else was occupied, Illia's player sent me a message:

"I wanna go after Rhea."
"Go after?"
"Bitch gonna die."

She'd tried it before. Secretly bought a weapon she'd never use, even, to leave on the body. Unfortunately, her first attempt followed hot on the heals of an unknown assailant ambushing the party and escaping, so the heightened security measures foiled her plot. Not this time, though. Out of sight, out of earshot, she wrestled the noblewoman to the ground and put a dagger in her heart. She washed herself off in a nearby creek and returned to the party's temporary headquarters, a sod house poking out of the prairie plain.

The party noticed her absence while preparing to set out for the castle the next morning. Nobody could recall seeing her since around lunch the previous day, so Shaar decided to sniff out her tracks. Lots of "Oh poo poo!"s and "Holy gently caress!"s from the party when they found her body in a nearby stand of trees. Investigation of the crime scene yielded little actionable evidence. Venali found some tracks that Illia left behind, but they cut off at the creek, and Shaar's nose wasn't picking up much else either. Fingers very quickly get pointed at the party's long-time prisoner, but she talked her way out of it. So Eydan, the party's druid, spoke up with a plan: he had one week to reincarnate the body. One week to teleport as far as he must - they were way the hell out in the boondocks - to gather the requisite materials for the spell. He disappeared into a nearby blade of grass and popped out of one outside a bustling metropolis hundreds of kilometres away, loaded down with the party's gold.

Another message from Illia's player: "I definitely didn't think we could rez people...everything else I had accounted for. Why did we have to get a new Druid!!!"

Eydan returned to the party a couple days later, a good deal poorer, but with the necessary materials. Illia had made an easily foiled attempt to dispose of the body permanently while he was gone, but now she was out of options. The party gathered 'round the corpse for the ritual, and we all eyed the reincarnation table and broke character.

"So... who rolls for what she comes back as?"
"I thought I would? Eh, I guess Eydan should..."
"'l'll let Shaar."
"No, you're the one doing it."

So he rolled a d100 to see what he reincarnated the half-elf as. 49. We all scanned down to the middle of the table, and there it was. 43-52: Half-Elf. God had spoke. Lady Rhea Lapid, murdered four days earlier, was reincarnated... as herself, except with a different hair colour and also that pain in her side when she lifted her sword above her head was gone. And she came back screaming Illia's name.

Another message from Illia's player: "Having to use my scapegoats was an unwanted last resort."

This was, after all, a land where shapeshifters were a known quantity. Not one day away was a demonic spirit known for possessing bodies. There could have been more to this, there could have been extenuating circumstances, there could have been... nope. One by one, the excuses fell away. Illia tried to get away - almost succeeded, even; certainly nobody was in the mood to execute their comrade - Shaar even tried to help her escape in secret - but Rhea caught up and badgered the party into tying her down. Still, the party argued for mercy. Exile, imprisonment, anything. But a recently-murdered noblewoman is a difficult thing to dissuade.

"Shaar," I said, "What are you?
"... A knight."
"And what am I?"
"... My boss."
"Your liege lord. And what have I given you?"
"... An order."

And so Illia the tiefling, the greedy, selfish, hedonistic, murderous, yet suicidally loyal to the party - holy god drat had she gone through beatings holding the line - lost her head. A bonfire was built to ensure she couldn't come back, and the party gathered around to witness the end of their long-time ally.

Except for Eydan. Eydan, out of sight, transformed into an earth elemental. Eydan, out of sight, sank into the earth and burrowed underneath the bonfire. Eydan, out of sight, plucked the head from the fire. Eydan, with Shaar's input, teleported as far from the party as he was able and left the half-charred head under the protection of a treant to regenerate.

Illia's player seems pretty happy with how it all turned out and is rolling a new character so :shrug: I think everything came out in a good place?

The Crotch fucked around with this message at 01:31 on Jan 23, 2015

drunkencarp
Feb 14, 2012
The only difference between 90% of good stories & 90% of bad stories is context and how the parties involved feel about what happened.

neonchameleon
Nov 14, 2012



For me it's Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John for male NPCs (in order). For female ones it's Helen, Sarah, and Mary. Never been called on the male ones (or the female ones) yet.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

neonchameleon posted:

For me it's Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John for male NPCs (in order). For female ones it's Helen, Sarah, and Mary. Never been called on the male ones (or the female ones) yet.

Grew up in a Christian family?

Guildencrantz
May 1, 2012

IM ONE OF THE GOOD ONES

Foolster41 posted:


Rosencrantz and guildastern are NOT dead. :)

I approve this message.

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Kerzoro posted:

Did... did you ever rescue Nubbins :ohdear:

Like a fuckin' boss I did. I rescued him by buying the services of another brute at the nearest port, plugging him into the depleted squad, and naming him Nubbins.

I did get reimbursed for the XP I spent to upgrade the first Nubbins from a brute to a henchman. We never talked about him in front of the second Nubbins. It would have been... awkward.

Nubbins MK I died horribly at the bottom of the chasm. R.I.P. 9/11/1668. Never forget. :911: :britain:

Or, because it's 7th Sea: he'll reappear, inexplicably alive months later, this time a villain bent on revenge for having been left for dead by the unwitting heroes. 7th Sea II: The Wrath of Nubbins.

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the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

Railing Kill posted:

Or, because it's 7th Sea: he'll reappear, inexplicably alive months later, this time a villain bent on revenge for having been left for dead by the unwitting heroes. 7th Sea II: The Wrath of Nubbins.

I really hope that happens so you can tell us about it. I bet it would be amazing.

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