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I feel like my brain is going to explode because you're running away from the problem that you have spending issues. Like actual, tangible, you spend too much money god drat issues. You also have horrific impulse control in which you make split decisions and they're generally awful. Now the thread is making a hard left when you need to learn how to maintain a budget and spend below your income by a considerable amount so that you can actually save money. Now you're coming up with cat contraptions to allow you to sleep, EVEN THOUGH you're about to have a loving baby.  You're too far along into this pregnancy to rock the boat at your work, or to consider any big changes in your life. At least wait 6 months until your poo poo is in order and you can stop spending money so you have the discipline when you get a big raise.
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Jan 17, 2015 19:51
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Veskit posted:I feel like my brain is going to explode because you're running away from the problem that you have spending issues. Like actual, tangible, you spend too much money god drat issues. You also have horrific impulse control in which you make split decisions and they're generally awful. Now the thread is making a hard left when you need to learn how to maintain a budget and spend below your income by a considerable amount so that you can actually save money. Now you're coming up with cat contraptions to allow you to sleep, EVEN THOUGH you're about to have a loving baby. This has absolutely nothing to do with anything, except for the fact that I'm underpaid. I don't think this will fix our spending problems because we went from having $20,000 a year in income to $90,000 a year in income and we were still living paycheck to paycheck. It doesn't mean I should continue working underpaid either though. I've been at my position for nearly 2 years and I'm worth way more to the company now than when I started. We also have a $30,000,000/yr company backing us up and paying my salary, so it's not like my boss will even take it personally. Jeez I never thought BFC would be against asking for a raise.
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Jan 17, 2015 20:05
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I'm not against asking your boss to pay you what you're worth, what I'm against is the timing of it all. This decision seems based off the fact that you're fed up from being stuck in the financial mud, and that you are being over worked and under paid especially in benefits. All things that should have been taken care of last year. The whole thing comes up a month before your wife has a baby. if you want a raise, go in with a good proposal of what other companies are offering and that you want to be paid market level for your work. If you do this though you very well could rock the boat and mess up what stability you have in your life when you need stability the most. I also think this is a way for you to run away from the real issue which is your spending. If you made an extra 10k a year 3k of that is going to go toward taxes and it's going to make you one step closer to making a poor financial decision because you still haven't proven you can handle a reasonable budget. This can wait 6 months when your wife is more stable at your work, and you can afford to switch jobs. Knyteguy posted:I don't think this will fix our spending problems because we went from having $20,000 a year in income to $90,000 a year in income and we were still living paycheck to paycheck. Knyte you're making my point that income isn't going to solve your problem. It doesn't matter how underpaid you are, you're going to be in the same boat. Your point is that you're underpaid, but you understand that if you were being paid more that you'd be in the same sinkhole. That makes no sense. Veskit fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Jan 17, 2015 |
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Jan 17, 2015 20:14
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Veskit posted:This can wait 6 months when your wife is more stable at your work, and you can afford to switch jobs. Reno is a small enough town that he really needs to keep his eyes open for a good opportunity. It's not like working in Chicago or New York.
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Jan 17, 2015 20:19
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Droo posted:Reno is a small enough town that he really needs to keep his eyes open for a good opportunity. It's not like working in Chicago or New York. I wouldn't take a chance at a new company that far along in a pregnancy if you know you have security in the current one. I've switched jobs and been let go immediately for things well beyond my control. He can either take a risk to make more money, or he can take the certain path which is to control impulses and spending which will get him out of this rut. Also if he's considering Florida on a whim, then if he just waits a little bit he can pick the company he wants to be with, and move him and his wife and have the dream of his wife staying at home. NONE OF THIS HAPPENS THOUGH if he can't learn to budget. It doesn't matter how much horse power you put in your car if all you do is spin out because your tires are poo poo 
Veskit fucked around with this message at 20:27 on Jan 17, 2015 |
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Jan 17, 2015 20:25
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His budget would be so much easier if not for that $500+ getting dumped into that car. That's probably the one worst decision of the whole thread, and there's no quick fix for it except dump the car and pay off the negative equity at $500/month. That would presume having cash to buy a $1000-3000 cheap old Corolla/Accord/etc. We can bitch about the moving, the energy drinks, and all of that, but that car is the one biggest money sink of them all, and he's stuck eating that $500/month for the next TWO AND A HALF YEARS. Hell, dumping the car and borrowing $2500 from grandma would probably get you a paid-off negative equity balance AND a paid off used car at $500/month by the end of the year. No worse pain now, but at least it'll end the money suck soon. That's assuming you can get someone to buy the car for as much as possible.
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Jan 17, 2015 23:30
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PitViper posted:His budget would be so much easier if not for that $500+ getting dumped into that car. That's probably the one worst decision of the whole thread, and there's no quick fix for it except dump the car and pay off the negative equity at $500/month. That would presume having cash to buy a $1000-3000 cheap old Corolla/Accord/etc. We can bitch about the moving, the energy drinks, and all of that, but that car is the one biggest money sink of them all, and he's stuck eating that $500/month for the next TWO AND A HALF YEARS.
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Jan 17, 2015 23:40
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Nobody knows how far underwater kg is nor whether he could get out from under his car because he's never tried.
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Jan 18, 2015 03:35
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n8r posted:Nobody knows how far underwater kg is nor whether he could get out from under his car because he's never tried. I remember that he traded in at least one car that was under water (maybe two?) to get the car he has now. He's $10kish underwater last I remember. He might be able to refinance to get rid of the interest rate, but he's definitely not in a great position to just get rid of that debt.
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Jan 18, 2015 04:41
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KG, we need a pickmeup. Give us some good news. Tell us you laid the smack down on the fools at the apartment complex and you're getting some of that money back.
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Jan 18, 2015 06:46
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Knyteguy posted:
Understanding you are stressed, and not sleeping, the conversation you are wanting to make with your employer about a raise may not convey the same way as if you were "on top of your game". Also, I'm assuming based on what you said about your boss previously that he is working a ton too. This makes for two stressed out people talking about a serious issue. One/both of you could easily take offense to setting that was said and turn the relationship/job sour. As a father of two, my vote is in the "wait for the baby and things to settle down category". As you've said, you went from 20k to 70k and your spending didn't change. A raise right now may just as well not effect your situation.
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Jan 18, 2015 16:37
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Alright I'll wait on a raise suppose. I will still be actively talking to companies however. An offer letter that's 3-4 months old still holds bargaining power. Unfortunately I can't give any good news right now, except that the baby is expected to come in 3-4 weeks. Getting pretty excited about that. Edit: Comparisons between apartment and house added I think it's important you all see our motivations for moving at least. You can see that our current home is far less chaotic than that apartment. Sorry for the gigantic pictures. Just how many camera takes em. Edit 2: Removed pictures since it was crashing my phone and work browser, so I assume it was happening to others as well. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Jan 19, 2015 |
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Jan 18, 2015 19:02
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All the best KG. Despite the frustration in the thread we are all rooting for you both to succeed. I think you should take some good from the fact that you both did well in planning for the birth expenses. You pre paid and have saved up for it. Hopefully it all goes to plan. I think a year ago you would have buried your head in the sand and been blind sided by the bill.
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Jan 18, 2015 19:45
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spwrozek posted:All the best KG. Despite the frustration in the thread we are all rooting for you both to succeed. Hey thanks spwrozek. I agree we would have made the hospital bills an after thought and given them little thought. At least we're a little prepared for em. Added a couple more pictures to the post above (just comparisons vs the apartment).
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Jan 18, 2015 20:35
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Quick budget update: Added $100 of groceries to this month's budget Removed $100 of groceries from next month's budget We still have food prepped for the impending birth, and this coming weekend or the next we'll be buying a ton (more) food to prep for February. It's getting to the point where I figure the baby could feasibly come at any time.
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Jan 19, 2015 19:02
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Given what seems to be your constant issues with food spending have you considered buying in "super bulk"? http://providentliving.org/self-reliance/food-storage/home-storage-center-locations-map?lang=eng http://store.lds.org/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Category3_715839595_10557_3074457345616706237_-1_N_image_0 They will let you in even if you aren't a mormon...
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Jan 19, 2015 19:27
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DogsCantBudget posted:Given what seems to be your constant issues with food spending have you considered buying in "super bulk"? Thanks - I hadn't heard of that. I'll definitely look at those links more closely after work. The prices look good (but I also wouldn't want to take resources from the needy, is this subsidized?). Our groceries are only normalized now to $300 / mo instead of $200 this month and $400 next month. I thought people brought up good reasons for not doing that.
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Jan 19, 2015 19:36
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Knyteguy posted:Thanks - I hadn't heard of that. I'll definitely look at those links more closely after work. The prices look good (but I also wouldn't want to take resources from the needy, is this subsidized?). :/ Dude you kind of are the needy. What kind of living situation do you think would be able to take advantage of buying in bulk online, but be poorer than you? That said, from a glance it looks like it's probably at or near cost and not subsidized. Even if it was it's the Mormon church, they've got some spare cash lying around. edit: That said, I wouldn't buy anything in bulk that you're not certain you'll use. It's not really saving money if you buy a bunch of flour and then never bake anything. Hawkperson fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Jan 19, 2015 |
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Jan 19, 2015 20:40
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Hawkgirl posted::/ Dude you kind of are the needy.
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Jan 19, 2015 21:13
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Knyteguy posted:Thanks - I hadn't heard of that. I'll definitely look at those links more closely after work. The prices look good (but I also wouldn't want to take resources from the needy, is this subsidized?). You are 100% not needy and can shop at Costco. Don't even look into those links, don't, no.
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Jan 19, 2015 21:30
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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:I'm going to go ahead and call shenanigans on this. They earn well above the poverty line and national average (about $20k and $43k last time I checked). They are not "needy" in the traditional sense of the word. They are in a lovely situation due to decisions they have made. I guess I don't really see the difference, yes there are people in shittier situations that are less a result of their own decisions, no I don't see those people being able to solve their problems buying Mormon food. So in the context of "if I buy Mormon food online, am I loving someone more in need?" I think the answer is no, you are the poorest person considering this. The bigger concern with buying food in bulk is I don't feel like they'd use it, so it would be money wasted anyway. And that's not intended to be insulting, looking at it, I would not use it either. It would sit in my pantry for 30 years or until a natural disaster, which is the point of it for Mormons anyway.
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Jan 19, 2015 22:05
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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:I'm going to go ahead and call shenanigans on this. They earn well above the poverty line and national average (about $20k and $43k last time I checked). They are not "needy" in the traditional sense of the word. They are in a lovely situation due to decisions they have made. Even so, to buy in bulk you need a certain amount of disposable income that people in worse situations would not be able to afford. If you're making the poverty line and most of it goes to bills or debt, you won't be able to afford bulk purchasing/Costco anyways.
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Jan 19, 2015 23:00
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Wait, is that website supposed to be cheap? Am I missing something? It's very expensive actually. 24 pounds of flour for $26 http://store.lds.org/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Product3_715839595_10557_3074457345616706370_-1__3074457345616897723 25 pounds of flour for $8.44 http://mobile.walmart.com/ip/Great-Value-All-Purpose-Flour-25-lb/12444466
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Jan 19, 2015 23:06
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Markup for non-LDS, perhaps? I think it's free if you're both LDS and pass their means test. One of my coworkers was talking about the local pantry and how it works for poors, but I was only half listening and it was a year ago...
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Jan 20, 2015 00:48
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Hawkgirl posted:I guess I don't really see the difference, yes there are people in shittier situations that are less a result of their own decisions, no I don't see those people being able to solve their problems buying Mormon food. So in the context of "if I buy Mormon food online, am I loving someone more in need?" I think the answer is no, you are the poorest person considering this. The bigger concern with buying food in bulk is I don't feel like they'd use it, so it would be money wasted anyway. And that's not intended to be insulting, looking at it, I would not use it either. It would sit in my pantry for 30 years or until a natural disaster, which is the point of it for Mormons anyway.
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Jan 20, 2015 00:58
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Robo Boogie Bot posted:Wait, is that website supposed to be cheap? Am I missing something? It's very expensive actually.
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Jan 20, 2015 01:37
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Wife and I have been thinking of (if we can) taking a trip down to Santa Barbara after the baby is born, since we'll both have time off. We've talked to others taking road trips in a similar time frame after having a baby, and it's definitely doable, if my wife is feeling up for it after the birth (and we understand that's a big if). Anyway we can make this work financially? It's to see family and friends. Again we will be completely prepared to cancel if my wife needs recovery, but I'd like to have it as an option if possible. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 19:29 on Jan 21, 2015 |
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Jan 21, 2015 19:25
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Knyteguy posted:Anyway we can make this work financially? No.
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Jan 21, 2015 19:38
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Lol.
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Jan 21, 2015 19:38
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Knyteguy posted:Anyway we can make this work financially? Beg your family to pay for it
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Jan 21, 2015 19:40
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Knyteguy posted:Wife and I have been thinking of (if we can) taking a trip down to Santa Barbara after the baby is born, since we'll both have time off. We've talked to others taking road trips in a similar time frame after having a baby, and it's definitely doable, if my wife is feeling up for it after the birth (and we understand that's a big if). For fucks sakes what is wrong with your brain I ask this every time because every time because your brain shouldn't be thinking about vacations when you haven't even had a baby yet nor haven't put a dent into your net worth that is sizable or anything you should be proud of. You're so sliding down that BFC sweetheart slide into Slow Motion territory.
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Jan 21, 2015 19:45
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Nuts. Visiting family and friends with a new baby is a great idea. Just, beg your family to pay for it
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Jan 21, 2015 19:55
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If you have money left over in your budget after buying customized chocolate bar birth announcements and wonder hangers, go for it.
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Jan 21, 2015 19:55
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Veskit posted:For fucks sakes what is wrong with your brain I ask this every Veskit I respect your opinion and appreciate your input on these matters, but if you pull this again man I'm going to ignore you. I'm tired of you saying this. It's been like 7 times now. At least 1) we're thinking about it in advance, and how the hell to pay for it, and 2) consulting the forums in advance as I've said I will do. Veskit posted:You're so sliding down that BFC sweetheart slide into Slow Motion territory. There are plenty of people who participate in this thread who manage to give great input without being rude about it. Am I wrong in thinking that the point of this thread is not some popularity contest? I'm sorry you guys are frustrated by the lack of results, because I am too. slap me silly posted:Nuts. Visiting family and friends with a new baby is a great idea. Just, beg your family to pay for it Probably won't happen, as they're not very well off. (not to you slap me silly) Look I have some really loving personal reasons to want to go down here and gas is cheap as hell right now. If you guys remember there was a BFC "allowed" trip back in November that we cancelled, so I was thinking this would take the place of that.
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Jan 21, 2015 20:11
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Every time you want to spend money that isn't going towards savings or paying down debts ask yourself this: "Do I want to sacrifice my financial future and ability to meet my financial goals in order to do X?" If X outweighs your wife quitting her job (which like 3 weeks ago was literally the worst job ever), you buying a house (which you're still pretending to save for even thought 6 months ago you were convinced you could save it in a year), getting yourself right side up on your car loan, etc, etc, etc then go for it. My perspective: When you're trying to save pennies by switching dog food, eating in bulk, and generally living like a pariah it seems foolish to then throw away hundreds of dollars on gas, food, and whatever else you'd need, in order to take a trip to see family. Why not have them come see you? Wouldn't that make 1000% more sense since your wife is about to have a baby?
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Jan 21, 2015 20:12
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Bugamol posted:Why not have them come see you? Wouldn't that make 1000% more sense since your wife is about to have a baby? Well because the main stop is the grave site of a very important family member who passed away. I know it's strange but there's something to bringing my son there. It would also allow me and my son to see my very close cousins in the area, and my best friend as well who lives near the area.
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Jan 21, 2015 20:17
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Those kind of things are really important. Ponder how much easier it would be to swing this kind of stuff if you weren't overspent and in debt and let that help motivate you to stay on top of your finances.
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Jan 21, 2015 20:20
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Knyteguy posted:Well because the main stop is the grave site of a very important family member who passed away. I know it's strange but there's something to bringing my son there. It would also allow me and my son to see my very close cousins in the area, and my best friend as well who lives near the area. Okay that's well and good for sentimentality but you do realize your infant child is not going to get anything out of it right? Like the only people getting anything out of going to this grave site are the adults. I mean, personally I feel like it makes more sense for you to save up money and wait until he is old enough to have any understanding of the situation AND you have less financial issues to do This Sentimental Thing. In the meantime, the cousins and best friend could visit you if possible (since you're the one who will have issues traveling with new baby and not a lot of money) and if they can't, it can happen later. Like I get that this is super important to you but if delaying it means you and baby are both in a better place for it, why the hurry? EDIT: even just like, 6 months or a year. When you are more solidly on your feet both with new child and finances.
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Jan 21, 2015 20:22
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Knyteguy posted:If you guys remember there was a BFC "allowed" trip back in November that we cancelled, so I was thinking this would take the place of that. That was pre-withholding adjustment, correct? Knyteguy posted:Well because the main stop is the grave site of a very important family member who passed away. I know it's strange but there's something to bringing my son there. They're not going anywhere.
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Jan 21, 2015 20:32
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Reno to Santa Barbara is an 8 h drive. You want to subject yourself to 16 h in a car round trip with a newborn. Add I have no idea how many hours pulling over to change diapers, feed, calm down, etc. Beyond the dubious financials of the decision, you are putting your sanity at grave risk. If they can't visit you, tough but that's life. Visit the grave site when your son is old enough to at least understand the significance. You're looking at 5+.
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Jan 21, 2015 20:33
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