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foxatee
Feb 27, 2010

That foxatee is always making a Piggles out of herself.
Don't do this. Not with a new baby. Anecdotal: when my daughter was an infant, she hated the car seat. She also hated her play pen and crib. Basically, she hated anything that wasn't my arms. You may luck out and not have this happen, but if you do, that drive is going to suck. My daughter would have the worst shits in a car (we were convinced she was car sick), and with breastfeeding, we had to stop about every two hours for a feeding because she would be too distraught for a bottle. It was incredibly stressful, and by the end of the trip, I hated everyone and everything. We were all miserable.

Not to sound mean, but your relatives (dead or otherwise) will still be there a few months from now. I'm sure they'll understand why you haven't visited (stress of new baby and not really being able to afford it atm). Hell, we haven't seen my father in law in years because we just couldn't afford it, and it's not like he doesn't understand. Even if he did make a fuss, we still couldn't afford it and he'd just have to get over it. My daughter's well being comes first.

So save up for it, if you really feel the need to go, but keep in mind that the money must come from somewhere, and your budget is already being spread pretty thin. Maybe your discretionary funds? Because if you have other money floating around, you're not spending it wisely.

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Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal
Thanks for the input.

Aagar posted:

Reno to Santa Barbara is an 8 h drive.

You want to subject yourself to 16 h in a car round trip with a newborn. Add I have no idea how many hours pulling over to change diapers, feed, calm down, etc.

Beyond the dubious financials of the decision, you are putting your sanity at grave risk.

If they can't visit you, tough but that's life. Visit the grave site when your son is old enough to at least understand the significance. You're looking at 5+.

Well like I said my wife and I talked to other parents who have done exactly this. They said their (normally restless) baby just slept. If my son is anything like me a drive will probably be the best thing to help him relax. My mom used to have to drive me around for hours as in infant, as it was the only way to get me to sleep (colic). I understand there's no guarantee, that's why I like the idea of having it simply as an option.

The biggest reason for the time frame is mostly vacation. I've been trying to take my wife here for the past 4 years, and I haven't been in probably 10. Together we've never been in a place financially (because it was the height of the recession and I was unemployed before anyone gets snarky), or it was just the wrong time, which it may still be. Now I'm using up every hour of vacation I've got left, as is she.

foxatee: yes the plan was discretionary all the way. We were thinking we could pack sandwiches and homemade premade food for all of the meals less the ones with friends and family which would be covered at their homes (which I would of course speak with them about). I used a government trip fuel calculator and it would cost about $34 one way in that right now. The most expensive thing would be lodging, and family and friends would help with that. We're not looking for a sight seeing trip.

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Jan 21, 2015

Veskit
Mar 2, 2005

I love capitalism!! DM me for the best investing advice!

Knyteguy posted:

Veskit I respect your opinion and appreciate your input on these matters, but if you pull this again man I'm going to ignore you. I'm tired of you saying this. It's been like 7 times now.

At least 1) we're thinking about it in advance, and how the hell to pay for it, and 2) consulting the forums in advance as I've said I will do.


There are plenty of people who participate in this thread who manage to give great input without being rude about it. Am I wrong in thinking that the point of this thread is not some popularity contest? I'm sorry you guys are frustrated by the lack of results, because I am too.

For one you can't afford it, you can't afford anything and how this has not penetrated yet is why it's so loving frustrating with you. I'm not sure how you can't let it go that you can't afford stuff because you're broke. THAT SAID if you wanted to say I know I can't afford this but it needs to be done, I'll sacrifice A/B/C to make this happen, then it'd be on the right path. Even then you can't afford this.



Lastly, it's something that you want to do but not need and maybe it's good for you, but more than likely a long rear end road trip with a new born baby to go visit a passed away love one is really awful awful timing and once again, feels impulsive.



I'll say this nicely and caringly as possibly as I can, but once again this feels like an impulse instead of a good decision. You're too impulsive, to the point where you should seriously look into it.

Cicero
Dec 17, 2003

Jumpjet, melta, jumpjet. Repeat for ten minutes or until victory is assured.
I don't think you should be planning for a long road trip with a new baby until you've had the baby for a few weeks. By then you'll know how the kid handles being in the car.

spwrozek
Sep 4, 2006

Sail when it's windy

Don't do it, you can't afford it. Wait 6 months see what having a baby is like and reevaluate.

Your family (wife and kid) come first. End of story. Seeing a grave doesn't do anything for the family, cousins can visit you or wait till you get yourself together.

I just don't see it as a good idea.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Veskit posted:

once again this feels like an impulse instead of a good decision. You're too impulsive, to the point where you should seriously look into it.

Thank you for improving on the message here (in your whole post). I respect that much more.

Why do you consider this impulsive though? We've been thinking about it for a couple weeks, we're planning for it, we're preemptively asking for input.

If the consensus is absolutely "we can't afford it" or "nah bad idea" then fine, but for all I know everyone in here would have said "well looking at your discretionary... you may be able to make this work". That's all I was asking.

Inverse Icarus
Dec 4, 2003

I run SyncRPG, and produce original, digital content for the Pathfinder RPG, designed from the ground up to be played online.

Knyteguy posted:

Well because the main stop is the grave site of a very important family member who passed away. I know it's strange but there's something to bringing my son there.

Your son is going to be a ball of meat incapable of understanding what a grave is, or even that people die, for at least two years, probably five.

edit: Completely ignoring the financial implications of the trip, even if it was 100% paid for my your family, I think you will pay for it with your sanity.

Nur_Neerg
Sep 1, 2004

The Lumbering but Unstoppable Sasquatch of the Appalachians

Knyteguy posted:

Thank you for improving on the message here (in your whole post). I respect that much more.

Why do you consider this impulsive though? We've been thinking about it for a couple weeks, we're planning for it, we're preemptively asking for input.

If the consensus is absolutely "we can't afford it" then fine, but for all I know everyone in here would have said "well looking at your discretionary... you may be able to make this work". That's what I was asking.

You can't afford it. Also you shouldn't plan any serious trips with your child until you've met said child.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Inverse Icarus posted:

Your son is going to be a ball of meat incapable of understanding what a grave is, or even that people die, for at least two years, probably five.

It's as much for me and moreso for this person who passed away. I completely understand my son will not be cognizant of these realities. I'm not a religious person anymore, but like I said there is still something to bringing my son there. It's the continuation of a legacy, and I can't explain why it's important to me, only that it is.

We'll put off the trip for 6 months. By then I think, like you guys have said, we will be able to judge how my son will react to such a thing, and have some money saved up. Thank you for your help.

e:typo

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 21:11 on Jan 21, 2015

Veskit
Mar 2, 2005

I love capitalism!! DM me for the best investing advice!

Knyteguy posted:

Why do you consider this impulsive though? We've been thinking about it for a couple weeks, we're planning for it, we're preemptively asking for input.

Visiting the grave and planning a road trip before you've had a baby. First it's to see family and friends then the story changes to there's a grave you HAVE to visit which is the linchpin in the entire trip. It's all so out of left field. I've been harping on this point over and over and over again, but you need to learn to sit still, do nothing for some time until the major instability is gone and then plan things out.


Just, sit, still.


Knyteguy posted:

It's as much for me and moreso for this person who passed away. I completely understand my son will not be cognizant of these realities. I'm not a religious person anymore, but like I said there is still something to bringing my son there. It's the continuation of a legacy, and I can't explain why it's important to me, only that it is.

We'll put off the trip for 6 months. By then I think, like you guys have said, we will be able to judge how my son will react to such a thing, and have some money saved up. Thank you for your help.

e:typo


The phrase "I can't explain why it's important but it is" so i have to do it IS, AN, IMPULSE.


Also no, don't say "we'll put it off for 6 months" instead come up with a goal that isn't time based in which then you'll be able to go on the trip. That's how it's done knyte, I don't wake up in the morning and go "I'll go on vacation in two months" without knowing I can afford it, and that I am grounded and safe.

Veskit fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Jan 21, 2015

Robo Boogie Bot
Sep 4, 2011
1. You can't afford it.
2. It will be a terrible trip.

When you have a infant, distant relatives come to visit you, not the other way around.

dreesemonkey
May 14, 2008
Pillbug

Knyteguy posted:

(not to you slap me silly) Look I have some really loving personal reasons to want to go down here and gas is cheap as hell right now. If you guys remember there was a BFC "allowed" trip back in November that we cancelled, so I was thinking this would take the place of that.

I think it's not the right time to do this, and gas prices should not be an excuse to go. Here's some math to show why it's silly to use gas prices as an excuse:

Reno to Santa Barbara looks to be about 520 miles, so I'll round up to 1200 total accounting for running around visiting family while you're there.

You have a corolla that should get at the very least 30mpg (probably closer to 40mpg to be honest) on a long trip like that.

1200miles/30mpg = 40 gallons of gas total.

Let's say you can reliably get $2.50/gallon gas right now. That will be $100 on the nose for gas. If gas jumps back up in 6 months to $3.50/gallon you will pay an extra $40 in gas for the whole trip. If we use 40mpg, which is probably closer to what you would actually get (if you don't get anymore speeding ticket, leadfoot), the difference in cost between gas jumping a dollar would be $30.

If saving $30/40 is enough to a deal breaker to make or break a trip, you simply cannot afford it. $40 is nothing, you'd spend more than that on the trip down there just in food.

Inverse Icarus
Dec 4, 2003

I run SyncRPG, and produce original, digital content for the Pathfinder RPG, designed from the ground up to be played online.

Knyteguy posted:

We'll put off the trip for 6 months. By then I think, like you guys have said, we will be able to judge how my son will react to such a thing, and have some money saved up. Thank you for your help.

Let's get that into a budget-minded discussion so you can think through it.

How much do you expect the trip to cost? Gas, hotels, food on the road, etc. Will you pack lunches?

Are you adding a line-item to the budget for this trip? How much do you plan to save, per month, for the next six months?

Inverse Icarus fucked around with this message at 21:28 on Jan 21, 2015

dreesemonkey
May 14, 2008
Pillbug

Veskit posted:

Visiting the grave and planning a road trip before you've had a baby. First it's to see family and friends then the story changes to there's a grave you HAVE to visit which is the linchpin in the entire trip. It's all so out of left field. I've been harping on this point over and over and over again, but you need to learn to sit still, do nothing for some time until the major instability is gone and then plan things out.


Just, sit, still.

I'm not going to quote myself but I went back through this thread to find a long-winded post I made very similar to this. I re-read it and still holds up. KG you need to slow down, being good with money is a history of making sound financial decisions over and over again, there is no quick fix.

Bugamol
Aug 2, 2006

Knyteguy posted:

Well because the main stop is the grave site of a very important family member who passed away. I know it's strange but there's something to bringing my son there. It would also allow me and my son to see my very close cousins in the area, and my best friend as well who lives near the area.

:FinancialMentalGymnastics:

Here's a quote that I'll continue to jump back to that you posted in another thread:

Knyteguy posted:

I'm not exactly a shining example of implementation here and I'm still learning a lot of this stuff myself, but consider this: I can put aside $400.00 right now to buy a new Playstation 4 next week. There now I've planned for it, I can take take the hit and still make my bills, but does that mean I should? Would you advise me to pick up a PS4? How much interest would you save putting that towards one of your loans, or alternatively how much interest could you turn that money into if you saved it for 1 year? How about 10 years?

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal
OK point taken. I'll try to stop being so jumpy.

Inverse Icarus posted:

Let's get that into a budget-minded discussion so you can think through it.

How much do you expect the trip to cost? Gas, hotels, food on the road, etc. Will you pack lunches?

Are you adding a line-item to the budget for this trip? How much do you plan to save, per month, for the next six months?

Well if we do a 4 day trip (with packed meals) we're looking at probably $250 I was thinking. $60 for 1 night of a motel (which I just priced out for the area), say $100 for fuel to include driving around, and if we're going to go less bare bones than we were thinking for this time around then $90 for misc (maybe a night out at dinner and breakfast or something). There's also KOAs, but that's probably not viable with a baby. My grandmother used to take me on frugal road trips for years and years while I was growing up, so I know it doesn't have to cost a fortune if you plan for it. That's less than our discretionary for February.

Anyway assuming that $250 is saved over 6 months we'd have to save about $42 per month for 6 months, or $21 per month for 12.

dreesemonkey I did reread your whole post.

Quick double post coming because I want to flesh something out with you guys unrelated to this.

e: fair enough Bugamol.

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 22:17 on Jan 21, 2015

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal
I think I want to up our grocery to from $300 to $350 or $400. Almost all of our discretionary for months and months now has been going towards extra food because we skimped and didn't buy enough for snacks or stuff like that. We were most comfortable when we had our groceries at $400, and frankly we'll get more for our money if I'm not buying junk at the gas station before work because one of us is hungry or something (which makes impulse purchases less common). I actually did take up drinking beer again (just way less), so having a little extra in grocery for that would also save money since where we shop has it for much cheaper.

Restaurants can stay at $100 because that's good and anything we go over on that should be from discretionary.

I think that groceries at $350-$400 will really help us stay on budget is what I'm saying. It'll cut expensive impulsive purchases from gas stations when going there to buy other things, and the stuff that we buy anyway would actually be cheaper. We've been buying healthier food (fish, fresh produce) and that hits the budget a little more too.

I'm willing to take a cut in discretionary for this. I could actually use my discretionary money for things I want instead of groceries (we actually used our discretionary for groceries from the store this run). A little home category and grooming line will also help with this (already added in February).

Any input on this?

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 22:17 on Jan 21, 2015

ObsidianBeast
Jan 17, 2008

SKA SUCKS

Knyteguy posted:

I think I want to up our grocery to from $300 to $350 or $400. Almost all of our discretionary for months and months now has been going towards extra food because we skimped and didn't buy enough for snacks or stuff like that. We were most comfortable when we had our groceries at $400, and frankly we'll get more for our money if I'm not buying junk at the gas station before work because one of us is hungry or something (which makes impulse purchases less common). I actually did take up drinking beer again (just way less), so having a little extra in grocery for that would also save money since where we shop has it for much cheaper.

Restaurants can stay at $100 because that's good and anything we go over on that should be from discretionary.

I think that groceries at $350-$400 will really help us stay on budget is what I'm saying. It'll cut expensive impulsive purchases from gas stations when going there to buy other things, and the stuff that we buy anyway would actually be cheaper. We've been buying healthier food (fish, fresh produce) and that hits the budget a little more too.

I'm willing to take a cut in discretionary for this. I could actually use my discretionary money for things I want instead of groceries (we actually used our discretionary for groceries from the store this run). A little home category and grooming line will also help with this (already added in February).

Any input on this?

What have you actually spent on groceries in each of the last 3 months? I don't mean "what has been applied to your groceries line item" because apparently that doesn't accurately depict what you've spent on groceries. Can you actually list out the grocery charges for each month?

What are you actually proposing as your new discretionary, home, and grooming budgets?

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

ObsidianBeast posted:

What have you actually spent on groceries in each of the last 3 months? I don't mean "what has been applied to your groceries line item" because apparently that doesn't accurately depict what you've spent on groceries. Can you actually list out the grocery charges for each month?

What are you actually proposing as your new discretionary, home, and grooming budgets?

I'm not sure how much exactly. Mint won't work with my credit union so I can't do that. I'll do some calculations from YNAB and get back to you on that. Even then my guess is that it'll be inaccurate. We've been good on eating out this month, but there's been lots of times that we didn't have groceries, were at our budget limit, and went out to eat instead (at the expense of our discretionary lines).

Home I was thinking $40 when I initially budgeted, but I think that's too high. Probably $20 for home $50 total for clothing and grooming? Clothing is currently at $25 but we need a little more to accrue and our hair cuts alone were $40 this month. And that's going to the cheap places (which we admit is all we can afford right now).

Edit: actually hold off on the grocery idea. I want to give it one more month at $300. We just started trying some more premade meals beyond the crock pot and it's working great. I want to see how the budget holds up with that.

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 22:47 on Jan 21, 2015

Bugamol
Aug 2, 2006
This thread is insane. I'm stepping out for my own sanity.

Referee
Aug 25, 2004

"Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday."
(Wilma Rudolph)

My opinion on your budgets (food, trips, and otherwise) would be that you wait to make any meaningful changes to anything until after the baby is born next month. This is the time where you should be trying to make everything in your life as stable as possible, not trying to change things when you already have a massive change coming that you know about and that has an arrival date.

Grouco
Jan 13, 2005
I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.
Easily one of the greatest troll threads I've ever read. Bravo.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

IllegallySober posted:

My opinion on your budgets (food, trips, and otherwise) would be that you wait to make any meaningful changes to anything until after the baby is born next month. This is the time where you should be trying to make everything in your life as stable as possible, not trying to change things when you already have a massive change coming that you know about and that has an arrival date.

Yep we'll do this (keep the budget the same at least). I'm thinking $300 should be enough going forward, but we'll see.

Also I wish you guys could realize I'm like feeling happier and more committed to all of this stuff right now and this month so far than ever. Since this thread started there hasn't been a point that I've been this motivated. And we're actually doing really well. Except for groceries this month, but that's likely because we bought a ton of groceries for February too, so all those premade meals will pay off next month.

I know everyone is all focused on the lack of results here. It sucks; I know more than anyone here because I've seen hard work and self control go down the drain. You've heard this before, but the results are coming.

But we may have to change our food budget a little going forward. I just want to give it one last shot.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Grouco posted:

Easily one of the greatest troll threads I've ever read. Bravo.

Hella dude dead family members and newborns and poo poo. Entertaining stuff.

Old Fart
Jul 25, 2013
KG, I'm glad you came to the thread to ask about the trip. That's progress. These reactions are because even thinking about planning a trip when you're a fortnight away from your first child and up to your eyeballs in debt is completely insane. That's the impulsiveness rearing its head. That tendency of yours is still pulling at you. That's why you're still trying to figure out numbers. Progress has been made, but you're just not there yet.

I agree with SIT STILL.

Your life is about to get insane. Don't add more to it.

Knyteguy posted:

I'm not sure how much exactly. Mint won't work with my credit union so I can't do that. I'll do some calculations from YNAB and get back to you on that. Even then my guess is that it'll be inaccurate. We've been good on eating out this month, but there's been lots of times that we didn't have groceries, were at our budget limit, and went out to eat instead (at the expense of our discretionary lines).
It really shouldn't be difficult to see how much you've spent on groceries.

The point of YNAB isn't to set arbitrary limits and then punish/reward yourself when you can't meet them. It's to help you understand your spending so you can better manage it.

I mean, the above doesn't make any sense. You were out of your grocery money, so as a solution you wasted discretionary for restaurants? You're punishing your discretionary budget on something that should be household expenses, then you're rewarding yourself by blowing through it on one meal. That's like a psychology carnival ride. I mean, if you're dipping into personal money for food, why not spend it at the grocery store? That way you have more fun money later. Again, that's the impulsiveness at work. "Oh well, out of grocery money, time to spend 4x as much at a restaurant!"

I'm not trying to be critical. I struggle with these things myself. And I'm not as strict with myself as I should be because I have a positive net worth and saved up a huge baby fund before even trying to get pregnant. But I understand these tendencies, and have my own rationalization for them.... It's just... Dude, your baby is coming out any minute now. NO MORE MAKING BIG PLANS OR TRYING TO MAKE BIG LIFE CHANGES. SIT THE gently caress DOWN AND STAY THE COURSE.

Unless you're trying to drive yourself insane, in which case carry on.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Old Fart posted:

KG, I'm glad you came to the thread to ask about the trip. That's progress. These reactions are because even thinking about planning a trip when you're a fortnight away from your first child and up to your eyeballs in debt is completely insane. That's the impulsiveness rearing its head. That tendency of yours is still pulling at you. That's why you're still trying to figure out numbers. Progress has been made, but you're just not there yet.

I agree with SIT STILL.

Your life is about to get insane. Don't add more to it.

It really shouldn't be difficult to see how much you've spent on groceries.

The point of YNAB isn't to set arbitrary limits and then punish/reward yourself when you can't meet them. It's to help you understand your spending so you can better manage it.

I mean, the above doesn't make any sense. You were out of your grocery money, so as a solution you wasted discretionary for restaurants? You're punishing your discretionary budget on something that should be household expenses, then you're rewarding yourself by blowing through it on one meal. That's like a psychology carnival ride. I mean, if you're dipping into personal money for food, why not spend it at the grocery store? That way you have more fun money later. Again, that's the impulsiveness at work. "Oh well, out of grocery money, time to spend 4x as much at a restaurant!"

I'm not trying to be critical. I struggle with these things myself. And I'm not as strict with myself as I should be because I have a positive net worth and saved up a huge baby fund before even trying to get pregnant. But I understand these tendencies, and have my own rationalization for them.... It's just... Dude, your baby is coming out any minute now. NO MORE MAKING BIG PLANS OR TRYING TO MAKE BIG LIFE CHANGES. SIT THE gently caress DOWN AND STAY THE COURSE.

Unless you're trying to drive yourself insane, in which case carry on.

Thanks for the acknowledgement.

The cycle is kind of like this:

"Running low on groceries... no budget let's see if we can make it work."
"Run out of most of our groceries, or we forgot to pull a meal out of the freezer"
"Top Ramen"
"Tired of Top Ramen... hungry... restaurant is close and it'll quickly satiate since I had to skip lunch."
Or
"Didn't eat much last night... really could use a breakfast sandwich"

This can also be substituted for expensive groceries, since sometimes we'll just get groceries from the nearby mart and it's super expensive.

It's like I said I think it'll help us stay on budget better to have more groceries. But again I just came up with a grocery plan that seems to be pretty healthy and I think we can stretch it to make it work. We spent $77 on groceries and we have enough food premade for the the rest of the month right now (since Saturday). I'm feeling confident about it.

ObsidianBeast
Jan 17, 2008

SKA SUCKS

Knyteguy posted:

Yep we'll do this (keep the budget the same at least). I'm thinking $300 should be enough going forward, but we'll see.

Also I wish you guys could realize I'm like feeling happier and more committed to all of this stuff right now and this month so far than ever. Since this thread started there hasn't been a point that I've been this motivated. And we're actually doing really well. Except for groceries this month, but that's likely because we bought a ton of groceries for February too, so all those premade meals will pay off next month.

I know everyone is all focused on the lack of results here. It sucks; I know more than anyone here because I've seen hard work and self control go down the drain. You've heard this before, but the results are coming.

But we may have to change our food budget a little going forward. I just want to give it one last shot.

I'm really not understanding your mindset on groceries. In this single post, you go from "$300 is enough" to "it should be less than $300 because we bought extra" to "we may have to increase it", and all of this is after you wanted to add $100 to it for next month, but you don't even have an accurate depiction on what you've spent this month, let alone in recent months.

IMO, if you're not even accurately tracking your spending, you can't actually do analysis on what you've done, which means any projections about future months are just straight-up guesses.

SiGmA_X
May 3, 2004
SiGmA_X
I think you need more in the food department myself, and I have for a long time. That said, don't eat out AT ALL. You can't afford it.

Inverse Icarus
Dec 4, 2003

I run SyncRPG, and produce original, digital content for the Pathfinder RPG, designed from the ground up to be played online.

Grouco posted:

Easily one of the greatest troll threads I've ever read. Bravo.

I'm like 80% with you and 20% terrified/sad that he's not trolling.

Nur_Neerg
Sep 1, 2004

The Lumbering but Unstoppable Sasquatch of the Appalachians
Figure out how much you're actually spending on food. And figure out what you're buying that's worth it and what isn't. Save your receipts from all grocery purchases for the next couple months so you can actually get a good idea of what things cost and if you think it's worth the cost/benefit or cost/enjoyment.

Also count me in the 'can't tell if KG's trolling' crowd, because good god.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

ObsidianBeast posted:

I'm really not understanding your mindset on groceries. In this single post, you go from "$300 is enough" to "it should be less than $300 because we bought extra" to "we may have to increase it", and all of this is after you wanted to add $100 to it for next month, but you don't even have an accurate depiction on what you've spent this month, let alone in recent months.

IMO, if you're not even accurately tracking your spending, you can't actually do analysis on what you've done, which means any projections about future months are just straight-up guesses.

I've been thinking about posting about groceries for a couple weeks now. However, we just started a new meal plan 4 days ago that should help us stick to budget better I think, and I didn't take that into account. The new meal plan just involves us taking control of our meals completely instead of leaving our meals on a "well what do you want to have tonight?" and not being 100% prepared.

Now we have 3 options for most meals (and good crockpot meals to supplement): Rice and hardboiled eggs, rice and salmon, and rice and barbecued chicken. Plus a fresh salad and fruits. I kind of stepped up and got us in a grocery plan and barbecued the chicken and stuff the night we bought it.

SiGmA_X posted:

I think you need more in the food department myself, and I have for a long time. That said, don't eat out AT ALL. You can't afford it.

Thanks. I feel like I was sort of pressured into going less and less in grocery, even against my wife's wishes, and I should have just said "hey this is actually a good amount". But seriously one more month at $300, I want to test my new meal plan. I don't want to commit to no restaurants in February since the baby will probably call for some takeout. I'm kind of resigning myself to that.

Inverse Icarus posted:

I'm like 80% with you and 20% terrified/sad that he's not trolling.
We've got $7,300 in the bank right now (so enough to pay off taxes, and the apartment right now and be more than a month ahead), and a paycheck still coming this month, and all of our bills paid for the moment, so please don't feel "sad" for us. There have been plenty of times we've had $0 and didn't know how we were going to eat.

I think everything is going to be circular stuff like this until I can post some results. That's OK.

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 00:06 on Jan 22, 2015

Grouco
Jan 13, 2005
I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.

Knyteguy posted:



We've got $7,300 in the bank right now

Well you sure showed us! Go ahead and take a vacation, you deserve it!

Knyteguy posted:

Also I wish you guys could realize I'm like feeling happier and more committed to all of this stuff right now and this month so far than ever

Serious question, have you been screened for bi-polar disorder?

Nur_Neerg
Sep 1, 2004

The Lumbering but Unstoppable Sasquatch of the Appalachians

Knyteguy posted:

I don't want to commit to no restaurants in February since the baby will probably call for some takeout.

I'm just messing with you, but oh man this wording is so good. Like father like son. :v:

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Grouco posted:

Serious question, have you been screened for bi-polar disorder?

My happiness is due to some really great (non-financial) achievements I've been consistently making for the past couple of months. I'm extremely proud of myself lately. A little bit of the joy of living has been returned to me, and I'm just super excited about it. Life is really good for the first time in a long time. Plus my drat son is coming and I couldn't be happier about that either. But thanks, dick.

Veskit
Mar 2, 2005

I love capitalism!! DM me for the best investing advice!

Knyteguy posted:

But thanks, dick.

I knew you'd fly off the handle about it but from a financial perspective it'd be good to rule it out. You've shown symptoms of it. It's actually fairly common and would make sense. Though that probably wasn't the best time to bring it up.

Veskit fucked around with this message at 00:18 on Jan 22, 2015

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Veskit posted:

I knew you'd fly off the handle about it but from a financial perspective it'd be good to rule it out. You've shown symptoms of it. It's actually fairly common and would make sense. Though that wasn't the time to bring it up.

Yes, but the up and down symptoms have been related to my perceived failures (which I've mentioned I'm really, really hard on myself with), and my perceived successes. I really hate failing. Plus I went on a bit of a caffeine break and I had two or three strong cups of coffee today, so I have a little more energy.

Like I said I spoke to a licensed psychologist for months every single week, and he never said a word. I feel like often in this thread people try to find things that aren't there.

My Rhythmic Crotch
Jan 13, 2011

Grouco posted:

Well you sure showed us! Go ahead and take a vacation, you deserve it!


Serious question, have you been screened for bi-polar disorder?
When people bring their questions to the forum before doing stuff, we ought to say good job, not taking the opportunity to poo poo all over them.

AbsenceVsThinAir
Jan 29, 2007

Maybe you do not even *smell*? That is sad.

*Smelling* *pretty colors* is the best *game*.
16 hours in the car with a newborn is not a vacation, it's a nightmare. And 100% they will not "sleep the whole time", and god forbid they do because if so then they will NOT sleep when you are actually trying to do things or, you know, sleep yourself. And your baby might scream for hours at a time with no escape.

Your baby's scream is biologically tailored to be the equivalent of auditory waterboarding. Once you are a few hours in, you'll be committed and the worst case scenario is really bad.

Also, I don't know if it's been mentioned in the thread yet but you can't afford it anyways.

Veskit
Mar 2, 2005

I love capitalism!! DM me for the best investing advice!

Knyteguy posted:

Yes, but the up and down symptoms have been related to my perceived failures (which I've mentioned I'm really, really hard on myself with), and my perceived successes. I really hate failing. Plus I went on a bit of a caffeine break and I had two or three strong cups of coffee today, so I have a little more energy.

Like I said I spoke to a licensed psychologist for months every single week, and he never said a word. I feel like often in this thread people try to find things that aren't there.

If the problem is Bipolar then you really need to speak with a psychiatrist instead. Counselors could easily skip over the symptoms if it appears you just have severe depression. People don't really go to the counselor to say "I'm super motivated, happy, excited to do everything and also irritated!". If it were that it would drastically help you with managing your impulse control and more importantly your need to spend. That's the only reason i bring it up in a BFC thread.



My Rhythmic Crotch posted:

When people bring their questions to the forum before doing stuff, we ought to say good job, not taking the opportunity to poo poo all over them.

Not if they're bringing up something that's 3 steps backward from where they were. NOBODY SAID GOOD JOB TO BASIL POOP FARM.

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Inverse Icarus
Dec 4, 2003

I run SyncRPG, and produce original, digital content for the Pathfinder RPG, designed from the ground up to be played online.

Veskit posted:

Not if they're bringing up something that's 3 steps backward from where they were. NOBODY SAID GOOD JOB TO BASIL POOP FARM.

It's 1000% better than him not mentioning it and then announcing he was leaving the thread for a week to go on a drive down the PCH with a newborn.

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