The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

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Boardroom Jimmy: Aug 20, 2006; Ahhh ballet

Jerusalem posted:

Eins, zwei, drei... oh, don't worry, I still have enough left to buy the Cleveland Browns.

You just don't know football, Jerusalem.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 01:54

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# ? May 30, 2024 00:40

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Boardroom Jimmy posted:

You just don't know football, Jerusalem.

Boardroom Jimmy, I request the pleasure of your company for a free exchange of ideas.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 01:55

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

And that little goon grew up to be... Roy Cohn. Now you know the rest of the story.

No, I can't kill you either. Look at you, standing there on your hind legs like a couple of Rory Calhouns.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 01:57

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Do over Ham posted:

Oh, sure, now Jerusalem's just a little boy buying libraries. But some day, he'll be a grown man buying stadiums and -- and quarries.

And my son Jerusalem...he owns a factory downtown.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 01:58

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Jerusalem posted:

Boardroom Jimmy, I request the pleasure of your company for a free exchange of ideas.

Sorry, Jerusalem, I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered. Maybe even a little curious. But the answer is still no.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 01:58

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Sorry, Jerusalem, I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans.

....pack of triple-thick condoms....

# ? Jan 29, 2015 02:10

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

Drink-Mix Man posted:

And my son Jerusalem...he owns a factory downtown.

Oh, don't worry, Drink-Mix Man. You know me, and I'm a superstar at the cracker factory.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 02:47

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

Do over Ham posted:

Oh, don't worry, Drink-Mix Man. You know me, and I'm a superstar at the cracker factory.

Don't worry, Ham. It just so happens I have a chair at Springfield University.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 03:29

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

Jerusalem posted:

....pack of triple-thick condoms....

Boy, I'd like to live in one of those.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 04:18

CatchrNdRy: Mar 15, 2005; Receiver of the Rye.

Jerusalem posted:

....pack of triple-thick condoms....

I owe my robust physique to your tubes of triple-bleached goo.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 05:35

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

CatchrNdRy posted:

I owe my robust physique to your tubes of triple-bleached goo.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 05:41

jscolon2.0: Jul 9, 2001; With great payroll, comes great disappointment.

Jerusalem posted:

I was at the library store. I was buying libraries.

You'll notice I no longer say Lie-berry or Tommorie.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 05:50

AlliedBiscuit: Oct 23, 2012; Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to see me sock a few dingers?!!

jscolon2.0 posted:

You'll notice I no longer say Lie-berry or Tommorie.

Nukular, jscolon2.0. It's pronounced "Nukular".

# ? Jan 29, 2015 05:57

Everything Counts: Oct 10, 2012; Don't "shhh!" me, you rich bastard!

AlliedBiscuit posted:

Nukular, jscolon2.0. It's pronounced "Nukular".

I can't excape AlliedBiscuit, our little walking liberry.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 06:16

Rich Uncle Chet: Jan 20, 2005; The Law? Law is a Human Institution.

Everything Counts posted:

I can't excape AlliedBiscuit, our little walking liberry.

Me fail English? That's unpossible

# ? Jan 29, 2015 06:25

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

IMJack posted:

Don't worry, Ham. It just so happens I have a chair at Springfield University.

I see. Well, you know, fellows, I look at the admissions board a lot like a baseball team. You all like baseball, don't you?

Yes, well, to have a successful baseball club, you need teamwork, not some hot-dog admissions officer playing by his own rules!

# ? Jan 29, 2015 06:57

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Do over Ham posted:

I see. Well, you know, fellows, I look at the admissions board a lot like a baseball team. You all like baseball, don't you?

Yes, well, to have a successful baseball club, you need teamwork, not some hot-dog admissions officer playing by his own rules!

♫♫♫
Well, Mr. Burns had done it,
The Power Plant had won it,
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while,
Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the bar-room tile.

We're talkin' softball,
From Maine to San Diego,
Talkin' softball,
Mattingly and Canseco,
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw,
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law,
We're talkin' Homer,
Ozzie and the Straw.
♫♫♫

# ? Jan 29, 2015 07:08

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

TMMadman posted:

♫♫♫
Well, Mr. Burns had done it,
The Power Plant had won it,
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while,
Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the bar-room tile.

We're talkin' softball,
From Maine to San Diego,
Talkin' softball,
Mattingly and Canseco,
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw,
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law,
We're talkin' Homer,
Ozzie and the Straw.
♫♫♫

~~Look, I don't why "bases ball" means so much to everyone. There's important work to be done, to make things more decent.~~

Okay, let's go over the ground rules.

You can't leave first until you chug a beer.

Any man scoring has to chug a beer.

You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings.

Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 08:03

twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

Do over Ham posted:

~~Look, I don't why "bases ball" means so much to everyone. There's important work to be done, to make things more decent.~~

Okay, let's go over the ground rules.

You can't leave first until you chug a beer.

Any man scoring has to chug a beer.

You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings.

Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning.

The other day I wanted a beer so bad I ate the dirt under the bleachers!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwGybS6TWEM

# ? Jan 29, 2015 10:08

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

Skeesix posted:

The other day I wanted a beer so bad I ate the dirt under the bleachers!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwGybS6TWEM

~~No, no, wait, wait a second. Yes, I lectured them several months ago because they were hitting a small white spheroid with a cudgel bouncing it off the tractor beam housing, of all things!~~

I was in heaven. If horseracing is the sport of kings, then surely bowling is a...very good sport as well.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 10:16

The Nastier Nate: May 22, 2005; All aboard the corona bus!

HONK! HONK!; Yams Fan

Do over Ham posted:

I was in heaven. If horseracing is the sport of kings, then surely bowling is a...very good sport as well.

I live above a bowling alley and below another bowling alley.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 14:55

Mira: Nov 29, 2009; Max illegality.

What would be the point otherwise?

The Nastier Nate posted:

I live above a bowling alley and below another bowling alley.

Hey Nate! Way to get Do over Ham pregnant!

# ? Jan 29, 2015 15:24

Boardroom Jimmy: Aug 20, 2006; Ahhh ballet

Mira posted:

Hey Nate! Way to get Do over Ham pregnant!

# ? Jan 29, 2015 15:30

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

Do over Ham posted:

~~No, no, wait, wait a second. Yes, I lectured them several months ago because they were hitting a small white spheroid with a cudgel bouncing it off the tractor beam housing, of all things!~~

I was in heaven. If horseracing is the sport of kings, then surely bowling is a...very good sport as well.

Tuborg, the beer of Danish kings!

# ? Jan 29, 2015 18:11

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Do over Ham posted:

~~No, no, wait, wait a second. Yes, I lectured them several months ago because they were hitting a small white spheroid with a cudgel bouncing it off the tractor beam housing, of all things!~~

Do over Ham posted:

~~Look, I don't why "bases ball" means so much to everyone. There's important work to be done, to make things more decent.~~

I guess it's obvious what's happened here. Do over Ham has somehow managed to sneak Adult Swim quotes into my thread. :smug:

.
.
.
.
Well come on! Use your imaginations!

# ? Jan 29, 2015 19:15

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

DrBouvenstein posted:

I guess it's obvious what's happened here. Do over Ham has somehow managed to sneak Adult Swim quotes into my thread.
.
.
.
.
Well come on! Use your imaginations!

It's in Revelations, people!!! :supaburn:

# ? Jan 29, 2015 19:26

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

IMJack posted:

It's in Revelations, people!!!

It's the four elephants of the apocalypse!

# ? Jan 29, 2015 20:27

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Drink-Mix Man posted:

It's the four elephants of the apocalypse!

TMMadman... Yeah, right, mister, mm-hmm. An elephant just knocked over your mailbox. Okay.

# ? Jan 29, 2015 21:37

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Drink-Mix Man posted:

It's the four elephants of the apocalypse!

You are not Ganesh! Ganesh is graceful!

# ? Jan 29, 2015 22:59

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

PT6A posted:

You are not Ganesh! Ganesh is graceful!

Look! It's this... thing!

# ? Jan 29, 2015 23:13

Lord Hydronium: Sep 25, 2007; Non, je ne regrette rien

Skeesix posted:

The other day I wanted a beer so bad I ate the dirt under the bleachers!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwGybS6TWEM

Halfback passes to the center...back to the wing...back to the center. Center holds it...holds it...

Holds it...

# ? Jan 30, 2015 01:55

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

Lord Hydronium posted:

Halfback passes to the center...back to the wing...back to the center. Center holds it...holds it...

Holds it...

Ariaga! Ariaga II! Bariaga! Arruglia! And... Pizzoza!

# ? Jan 30, 2015 02:06

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Look! It's this... thing!

Well isn't that just super.

# ? Jan 30, 2015 02:58

Root Bear: Nov 15, 2004; DARKEST SKETCH

TMMadman posted:

TMMadman... Yeah, right, mister, mm-hmm. An elephant just knocked over your mailbox. Okay.

Aww look, there's a dog driving a bus!

# ? Jan 30, 2015 03:39

Spectacle Rock: May 24, 2013

This is cool, we're gonna die aren't we! :laugh:

# ? Jan 30, 2015 03:55

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Root Bear posted:

Aww look, there's a dog driving a bus!

THAT DOG HAS A PUFFY TAIL!

Here Puff! Here Puff!

# ? Jan 30, 2015 04:03

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Root Bear posted:

Aww look, there's a dog driving a bus!

I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

# ? Jan 30, 2015 04:50

Rich Uncle Chet: Jan 20, 2005; The Law? Law is a Human Institution.

PT6A posted:

I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

I call it "Billy and the Clonasaurus"

# ? Jan 30, 2015 05:26

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

No, no, no, you've got it all wrong. We're the Drink-Mix Man Experience, Featuring Root Bear.

# ? Jan 30, 2015 06:57

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# ? May 30, 2024 00:40

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

Drink-Mix Man posted:

No, no, no, you've got it all wrong. We're the Drink-Mix Man Experience, Featuring Root Bear.

I thought we were Quiet Riot. :confused:

# ? Jan 30, 2015 07:23

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

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