Top Grand Gear Tour TV Megathread: Because nobody wants to post a new one

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Top Grand Gear Tour TV Megathread: Because nobody wants to post a new one

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cakesmith handyman: Jul 22, 2007; Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.

That would mean he managed 4.3mpg, so he pretty much got what he deserved there.

# ? Jan 27, 2015 21:10

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# ? May 9, 2024 09:16

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

Lived 75 miles from the studio, like a 2.5 hour drive twice every day? Christ.

# ? Jan 27, 2015 21:31

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

jammyozzy posted:

Going back to the Ford GT's fuel mileage, I remember them discussing that it had a range of 75 miles (presumably with a heavy right foot) and that Clarkson lives 76 miles from the studio.

I think he even got stuck at some bridge built in the horse and buggy ages and he had to take a detour.

# ? Jan 27, 2015 21:33

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

mod sassinator posted:

Lived 75 miles from the studio, like a 2.5 hour drive twice every day? Christ.

It's not going to be 2.5 hours unless the route is directly across the center of London, is it?

# ? Jan 27, 2015 21:42

Fayez Butts: Aug 24, 2006

mod sassinator posted:

Lived 75 miles from the studio, like a 2.5 hour drive twice every day? Christ.

I'm sure he gets to drive on some highways, right?

# ? Jan 27, 2015 21:43

cakesmith handyman: Jul 22, 2007; Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.

If I remember correctly the roads between where he lives and the TG studios are mainly single and dual carriageway, almost all 60 and 70 limits, which means 90 and 140, lots of twisties and few speed cameras :getin:

# ? Jan 27, 2015 21:59

InitialDave: Jun 14, 2007; I Want To Believe.

I always liked the story about Noel Edmonds using his GT40 to commute, back in the days before speed limits, and getting a visit from the local coppers to ask if he wouldn't mind awfully not maxing it out on the A41.

# ? Jan 27, 2015 22:28

Sadi: Jan 18, 2005; SC - Where there are more rednecks than people

Did the UK one come with a smaller tank because google says it had a 17 gallon tank and got 13mpg city. In my experience you get around half mpg on the track so assuming 7mpg that's still over 100 miles of range.

# ? Jan 28, 2015 00:33

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Stop thinking top gear is a factual show you retards.

Clarkson was cruising on the highway in a GT500, complained that he could only put 50 liters into the Gt500 and it could only do 140 miles to a tank and complained that it only did 14mpg, that would be a 45 liter fuel up.

It has a 61 liter tank, is rated at 24mpg, and a 280-340 mile range. based on it's combined/highway rating.

Either he drives everywhere in 3rd gear, or he just says what fits into the "american cars suck Europe forever rah rah rah" narrative. Every time the corvette comes up, he loves it on the track, then has to knock it back down by saying it hurts his back in traffic or by flexing the fiberglass on the back of it to show how cheaply built it is.

Remember all the stuff they faked on the tesla model roadster?

# ? Jan 28, 2015 00:46

TheDarkFlame: May 4, 2013; You tell me I didn't build that?

I'll have you know I worked my fingers to the bone to get where I am today.

Wait, why are you even arguing these numbers? Clarkson uses an apocalyptic level of exaggeration, when he talks about a car having a million torques or the pull of Jupiter or whatever, but just because he's using numbers that are actually somewhere near a rational scale this time, it doesn't mean he's not still exaggerating. Assume everything he ever says is him being an idiot of one kind or another.

# ? Jan 28, 2015 01:00

Tricky Ed: Aug 18, 2010; It is important to avoid confusion. This is the one that's okay to lick.

What gets me is he wants it both ways. You can't say "I don't believe anything I write" and also "this is how the events I describe happened exactly." He can't be the buffoon and the respected journalist at the same time, but he expects us to take him exactly at his word when he wants that and to not take him seriously when he wants that, too.

Puts on a hell of a show, though.

# ? Jan 28, 2015 06:15

eriddy: Jan 21, 2005; sixty nine lmao

Which flag are they wearing pins of? Also why?

# ? Jan 28, 2015 06:43

Humbug Scoolbus: Apr 25, 2008; The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.; Clapping Larry

Chile because Argentina

# ? Jan 28, 2015 06:59

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Did anyone else see the Chrysler Crossfire in St Petersburg?

# ? Jan 28, 2015 06:59

ynotony: Apr 14, 2003; Yea...this is pretty much the smartest thing I have ever done.

mod sassinator posted:

Lived 75 miles from the studio, like a 2.5 hour drive twice every day? Christ.

He probably only needs to be there once a week for the rest of this series on taping day. My guess is they write the very minimal script remotely, or at a more convenient office.

The only other times he needed to be there for this series was to film segments at the test track, which was probably not often. The rest is shot on location all around the world, no need to live near the studio when you're only there maybe 30 days out of the year.

ynotony fucked around with this message at 08:17 on Jan 28, 2015

# ? Jan 28, 2015 08:07

bubblelubble: Feb 26, 2013; scribbled out the truth,
paying in naivety.

eriddy posted:

Which flag are they wearing pins of? Also why?

The Chilean flag, referring to the Patagonia special, in which they were kicked out of Argentina and, as Clarkson put it, fled back to "the welcoming arms of Chile".

# ? Jan 28, 2015 12:05

SixFigureSandwich: Oct 30, 2004; Exciting Lemon

I thought it was a Texas flag pin :shobon:

# ? Jan 28, 2015 12:55

Petekill: May 14, 2005; Where's Hammond?
Well I'll call him!

So do Texans

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/13/chile-flag-mistaken-for-t_n_761511.html

# ? Jan 28, 2015 17:10

Longpig Bard: Dec 29, 2004

Ah, I thought it was French related

# ? Jan 28, 2015 21:11

Wistful of Dollars: Aug 25, 2009

Powershift posted:

Stop thinking top gear is a factual show you retards.

Clarkson was cruising on the highway in a GT500, complained that he could only put 50 liters into the Gt500 and it could only do 140 miles to a tank and complained that it only did 14mpg, that would be a 45 liter fuel up.

It has a 61 liter tank, is rated at 24mpg, and a 280-340 mile range. based on it's combined/highway rating.

Either he drives everywhere in 3rd gear, or he just says what fits into the "american cars suck Europe forever rah rah rah" narrative. Every time the corvette comes up, he loves it on the track, then has to knock it back down by saying it hurts his back in traffic or by flexing the fiberglass on the back of it to show how cheaply built it is.

Remember all the stuff they faked on the tesla model roadster?

He called the C7 his car of the year for 2014, so who knows anymore with him.

It's also funny rewatching that old CTS review "220hp V6! 0-60 in 7 seconds!". My how far we've come.

# ? Jan 30, 2015 02:52

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

El Scotch posted:

He called the C7 his car of the year for 2014, so who knows anymore with him.

It's also funny rewatching that old CTS review "220hp V6! 0-60 in 7 seconds!". My how far we've come.

in the magazine.

on the show, he's gonna say it's a plasticy piece of poo poo that broke his back driving home.

# ? Jan 30, 2015 03:20

lt_kennedy: Sep 2, 2007; Needs Moar Race

Clarkson's gleeful little clapping :neckbeard:

# ? Jan 30, 2015 13:02

Dodoman: Feb 26, 2009; A moment of laxity
A lifetime of regret; Lipstick Apathy

Powershift posted:

Stop thinking top gear is a factual show you retards.

Clarkson was cruising on the highway in a GT500, complained that he could only put 50 liters into the Gt500 and it could only do 140 miles to a tank and complained that it only did 14mpg, that would be a 45 liter fuel up.

It has a 61 liter tank, is rated at 24mpg, and a 280-340 mile range. based on it's combined/highway rating.

Either he drives everywhere in 3rd gear, or he just says what fits into the "american cars suck Europe forever rah rah rah" narrative. Every time the corvette comes up, he loves it on the track, then has to knock it back down by saying it hurts his back in traffic or by flexing the fiberglass on the back of it to show how cheaply built it is.

Remember all the stuff they faked on the tesla model roadster?

What did they fake during the tesla review? Honest question, not being snarky.

# ? Jan 30, 2015 13:10

Ola: Jul 19, 2004

saucepanman posted:

What did they fake during the tesla review? Honest question, not being snarky.

They pretended it ran out of power when it still had power left. Their explanation was that they wanted to illustrate what it was like to run out of power, which is utter bullshit of course. They want to be taken seriously but say "we're not meant to be taken seriously" when they get in trouble. I think I share Sean Lock's opinion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbno-ogK5dk

"Everyone likes Top Gear, even me, and I hate it".

# ? Jan 30, 2015 14:09

Preoptopus: Aug 25, 2008; Ð¢ÑÐ¸ Ð¿Ð¾Ð»Ð¾ÑÐºÐ¸,
ÑÑÐ¸ Ð¿Ð¾ ÑÑÐ¸ Ð¿Ð¾Ð»Ð¾ÑÐºÐ¸

El Scotch posted:

He called the C7 his car of the year for 2014, so who knows anymore with him.

Jeremy Clarkson posted:

Clarkson on: Japanese cars

And so the editor collared me as I scuttled through the office this morning, pretending to be busy. I knew what he wanted. He wanted me to name my Car of the Year, and I don't like making decisions of this nature, or any nature. Hence my scuttling and harassed demeanour.

It didn't work. "Clarkson," he said, when he had me cornered at the water fountain. "What is your Car of the Year?" "It's the Alfa 4C," I said proudly because I'd made up my mind about something. "No, you idiot," he replied. "That came out last year." "But it's the best car I've driven this year as well," I stammered.

It was no good. You have to vote for the best new car, and that's a bit cruel, I think. It's like being told to vote for the world's best dog, and then not being allowed to select your own because you did that last year.

But those are the rules, so I did what I do every year: a country-by-country breakdown of all that's new and fresh from the car-producing nations. From Britain, there was the McLaren 650S, which is breathtaking, and from America, the Corvette Stingray, which is certainly the biggest surprise. Italy has given us the Hurac�n and the 458 Speciale, which is tempting, if only because it makes James's 458 seem so �last week'. Germany? The new Polo is tremendous, and the i8 is a giant leap for humankind, even if it doesn't do what it says on the tin. 134mpg? Yeah, right.

I then had a quick canter through France, stopping momentarily on the Twingo and whatever fast Clio Renault has come up with this week, and then in my head I popped over to Japan where... there was nothing but a dismal grey fog and a spot of light drizzle.

"Come on, Jeremy," I said to myself. "This is Japan. The power house of the East. It must make msomething you like." But it was no good. Once I'd discounted the Nissan GT-R for not being even remotely new, the inside of my head was a complete blank.

I've written about Honda's woes before. There was a time when its showrooms were full of cars with pop-up headlamps and Thunderbird Two electric roofs, and Rowan Atkinson was bombing about in an NSX making growly noises with his induction system. But now what do they do? Some not very attractive soft-roaders, a hatchback with a name I can't be bothered to remember and a saloon that looks like I styled it. Where's the new NSX they've been talking about for so long? I'll tell you where, at the side of the N�rburgring surrounded by firemen taking pictures of the charred wreckage on their mobile phones. And what about the new S2000? That's even easier to answer. There isn't one.

Honda is coming back to F1 and, I'm sorry, but what's the point? Because what F1 fan will say: "Yes, I am much impressed with the power of its engines and the cleverness of its hybrid drive technology, so I will buy a CR-V"?

Toyota is suffering from much the same problem. Yes, it makes the excellent GT86, but where are the Celicas and the Supras? What happened to the days when it made a special rear-wheel-drive version of the Corolla simply so youths could do skidding? And what about that four-wheel-drive coupe that had a nostril? Why do none of its cars have nostrils any more?

Cantering through the cars they do sell these days is like being in a coma. There's the Areola, or is that the bit around your nipple? Same thing, I suppose. Then there's the Prius, about which I can say nothing that hasn't been said before. And the new Land Cruiser, about which I can also say nothing, because there are no words in any language which quite manage to capture its heroic dreadfulness. I'm not even going to mention the RAV4.

Lexus had a spurt a while back. We got the LFA, which remains the finest car I've ever driven. Yes, it was riddled with faults and given a price tag that was higher than George Michael, but, my God, to drive, it was sublime. And what's replaced it? Nothing, so far as I can see.

Subaru used to sell us Imprezas that cornered like asteroids, and the Legacy Outback is the only car on which James, Richard and I agree. It was brilliant. But the new one isn't brilliant at all. And Mitsubishi used to have all sorts of curiosities like the Pinin and the Evo. And now? Nope. Wait... No, nothing.

Daihatsu used to make a car called the GTti. It was the first road car ever to generate 100 horsepower from one litre, and because it had three cylinders it sounded like it was demented. I loved it so much that, on the press launch in Japan, I did half a lap, crashed and flew home. Does Daihatsu make a car like that today? Something fun? Something for the enthusiast that lives in us all? No. It makes something called the Sirion, which sits in the world of cars like a bunch of wilting petrol station chrysanthemums would sit at the Chelsea Flower Show.

Nissan obviously makes the GT-R, and long may that continue. But apart from this, it makes nothing sporty or interesting or pretty at all. It did the 240 and the 260 and the 280 and the 300 and then... it just stopped.

It's hard to know why this is so. We know that Japan's economy has been bumping along in the Mariana Trench for some time, but that's the great thing about the country's industry. It's always had its sights set on the export market, so why isn't it making exciting, flashy stuff now for all of the new money in China and Russia?

I agree that, elsewhere, demand is down. Kids no longer fix sports air filters and big exhausts to cars. Petrol is now so expensive that teenagers talk mpg rather than mph. But you just have to look at how BMW and McLaren and Ferrari are doing to know that the demand for g forces and searing engine notes is still there.

Unfortunately, it's niche stuff, and Japan has never been very good at that. Japan was always about the bottom line, and the truth is, there's more money to be made selling a billion Areolas than there is to be made from selling half a dozen fire-breathing V10 LFAs.

There is, of course, one exception to all of this. Mazda is poised, as I write, to unveil its new and much-hyped MX-5. The only true sports car made today. On its shoulders rests not just the future of the company, but the country that spawned it as an automotive giant.

I pray that it's a huge success. I pray millions are sold in California and the South of France every five minutes. Because that's what's needed to wake up the rest of Japan's moribund car industry: a pointer, a beacon, a car that shows them there's still money to be made out of fun stuff.

I want Japan back. I miss it.

# ? Jan 30, 2015 16:26

antisodachrist: Jul 24, 2007

From this weeks Weekly Wipe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfrYed7UlJI

# ? Jan 31, 2015 16:49

azflyboy: Nov 9, 2005

It looks like we're losing most of the legal methods to stream older episodes of Top Gear in the US in two weeks.

Effective Feb 1, Netflix is dropping all but the three most recent seasons of Top Gear from streaming (it goes from 149 episodes available down to 26) and Amazon announced yesterday that they're dropping all of their BBC content (except Orphan Black) effective Feb 15, since they're pissed that Netflix also has a license to stream BBC shows.

azflyboy fucked around with this message at 09:07 on Feb 1, 2015

# ? Feb 1, 2015 07:04

Drakkel: May 6, 2007; IT'S LIKE I CAN TOUCH YOU!

azflyboy posted:

It looks like we're losing most of the legal methods to stream older episodes of Top Gear in the US in two weeks.

Effective Feb 1, Netflix is dropping all but the three most recent seasons of Top Gear from streaming, and Amazon announced yesterday that they're dropping all of their BBC content (except Orphan Black) effective Feb 15, since they're pissed that Netflix also has a license to stream BBC shows.

So that means Hulu will be the only place to legally stream the show after that point? Ouch.

# ? Feb 1, 2015 09:08

yaffle: Sep 15, 2002; Flapdoodle

If you download an app called "Film on free" you can watch top Gear, and all uk tv, live. Don't ask me about the legality of this, it dosn't download a file or anything....

# ? Feb 1, 2015 09:44

H13: Nov 30, 2005; Fun Shoe

As an Aussie, I really don't understand regional restrictions.

"NO. We might make money of Australians. DON'T BROADCAST OUR SHOW THERE. We want to make less money dammit"

# ? Feb 1, 2015 13:44

GutBomb: Jun 15, 2005; Dude?

It's probably more like this.

BBC: it's contact negotiation time with Netflix for U.S. distribution. We want 5 times what you pay for our content now.

Netflix: yeah... I don't think so

BBC: ok then we'll give you the last three seasons of each allow for what you're paying us now and just sell old seasons on dvd.

# ? Feb 1, 2015 14:03

bigpolar: Jun 19, 2003

Media companies behave like this and get indignant when consumers fly the digital Jolly Roger. If they just made a relatively cheap, convenient way to watch shows, piracy would dry up because it's better than having to buy new hard drives every couple of months to maintain your library.
It doesn't even have to be that cheap, look at the enthusiasm over stand alone HBO go.

# ? Feb 1, 2015 16:05

Humbug Scoolbus: Apr 25, 2008; The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.; Clapping Larry

Or the enthusiasm for Netflix even.

# ? Feb 1, 2015 20:15

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

The problem is the vast majority of people still watch their shows on cable TV. if content producers try going around cable to deliver content strait to the consumer, cable companies get pissy and start throwing their weight around.

losing the internet consumers to piracy costs less than losing the TV consumers all together.

Edit:Oh no. 3 offensive license plates. What assholes.

Powershift fucked around with this message at 21:10 on Feb 1, 2015

# ? Feb 1, 2015 20:54

cakesmith handyman: Jul 22, 2007; Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.

Hell I'm annoyed I have to use hola to watch US Netflix, I don't care about the petty bickering, just let me watch anything and take a small amount of my money every month.

E: motherfucking Maloo HSV :black101:

# ? Feb 1, 2015 22:06

Xenoid: Dec 9, 2006

One of the best episodes I've seen. I nearly cried laughing when they woke up after the "croc" attack.

# ? Feb 1, 2015 23:15

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

# ? Feb 2, 2015 01:44

opengl: Sep 16, 2010

Requesting a GIF of clarksons shifty eyes after May's run up the hill climb. That killed me.

# ? Feb 2, 2015 02:19

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

opengl128 posted:

Requesting a GIF of clarksons shifty eyes after May's run up the hill climb. That killed me.

That whole scene was goddamn incredible.

I died laughing when Clarkson and May had to deal with the stubborn cow.

# ? Feb 2, 2015 02:33

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# ? May 9, 2024 09:16

inklesspen: Oct 17, 2007; Here I am coming, with the good news of me, and you hate it. You can think only of the bell and how much I have it, and you are never the goose. I will run around with my bell as much as I want and you will make despair.; Buglord

Loved the number plate gag.

# ? Feb 2, 2015 03:30

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Top Grand Gear Tour TV Megathread: Because nobody wants to post a new one

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