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Now, I know what you're thinkin' "Me? How am I ever gonna get together with Princess Link from Legend of Zelda tm when I've got all of this poo poo to do? I'm a busy person and I don't have time for any sort of commitment!" Shut up, because with my 5 easy steps, you'll be finding yourself getting the "Woah Mama I Just Got a Hottie" achievement Step 1: Assess Personal Hygiene Because your soul mate exists within the realm of cyber-space, you no longer have to worry about showering anymore. Now you can devote the time you spent showering toward reading the rest of these l33t tips, as the kids say Step 2: Inspect Your Speaking Skills Ignore what your high school counselor told you, picking up the hotties doesn't require you to pick up your head nor to stop mumbling toward the floor. All you have to do is make sure you don't skip past the dialogue and choose the correct answer and before you know it, everybody will be saying that you've got the high score in Seduction Quest! Step 3: Give Gifts/Collectible Now, I know what you're thinking, "Oh, they'll like flowers, chocolate, or something from that raunchy reptile website!" That's wrong, fuckwit, there's a reason I'm writing the list. No, the most desirable gift is the collectible. If you didn't bunny hop your way up Mt. Doom, taking a path that can only be cleared after you unlocked the level 5 flamethrower to get that item, you might as well have not even tried at all. Step 4: Maintain Physique Washboard abs. Immaculate pecs. Thighs you could kill an infant with. All useless. This isn't about looks, everybody knows body builders destroy their body in order for it to look "good." You need endurance. When you need to grind for experience so that you can show your significant other your "high level," you're going to need a solid surface to rest your greasy hands on, and the best surface for that is a gut shaped by years of neglect and beers. Step 5: Build Self-Confidence There's going to be a point in time where a "loved one" such as your parental units will question your methods. "Why don't you go outside, try to find a girl made of flesh and bone, not zeroes and ones!" Be the rock, for they are the current. You know you're right, Sammy from Metroid knows you're right, so how can you possibly be wrong? Weather the storm, for you shall not break, but they will from sheer disappointment. Disappointment that they're not getting as e-laid as you. |
# ? Feb 2, 2015 10:04 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 07:46 |
Theres this one vendor girl I like in rpg town. She has a little bonnet on her head with brown hair and green eyes and always sells apples. I buy one every day, but there isnt any option to strike up conversation with her. She just asks, "Would you like to buy some of my fresh foods?"every time I see her. Like I wanna ask her out or what she likes to do besides sell fresh produce but theres never a prompt. Please help. ---------------- |
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# ? Feb 2, 2015 10:14 |
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Al Borland posted:Theres this one vendor girl I like in rpg town. She has a little bonnet on her head with brown hair and green eyes and always sells apples. I buy one every day, but there isnt any option to strike up conversation with her. She just asks, "Would you like to buy some of my fresh foods?"every time I see her. try negging? |
# ? Feb 2, 2015 10:15 |
Stormyish posted:try negging? can you explain more please? ---------------- |
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# ? Feb 2, 2015 10:19 |
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When Fable came out I used to get married and repeat the sex action when nobody was around because I was a horn dog teen |
# ? Feb 2, 2015 10:21 |
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Al Borland posted:can you explain more please? I'm sorry, I only talk to sailors |
# ? Feb 2, 2015 10:23 |
Stormyish posted:I'm sorry, I only talk to sailors Do I buy her apples then or not? ---------------- |
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# ? Feb 2, 2015 10:25 |
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Al Borland posted:Do I buy her apples then or not? I'm sorry, I only talk to sailors |
# ? Feb 2, 2015 10:26 |
Stormyish posted:I'm sorry, I only talk to sailors *equips sailor outfit.* So do i keep buying her apples or what? ---------------- |
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# ? Feb 2, 2015 10:27 |
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Al Borland posted:*equips sailor outfit.* yes you buy the apples, then come back in a week she'll be confused why she hasn't seen you in forever, and then what you do is you put her down with a sweet neg, and it's pretty much in the bag from there |
# ? Feb 2, 2015 10:28 |
Stormyish posted:yes you buy the apples, then come back in a week I dunno one time i went into a dungeon on the other side of the world for a week or so came back and she still asked if i wanted to buy apples. Its almost like thats her only line. ---------------- |
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# ? Feb 2, 2015 10:30 |
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i got all 100 skulltulas and put them in her cake why is she screaming, is it joy |
# ? Feb 2, 2015 11:24 |
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i trained my speech and charisma skills up to level 55 so i have no problem picking up girls
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# ? Feb 2, 2015 12:29 |
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What if she's not in an rpg, like the medic in starcraft: brood wars? I'm ordering her around from a distant starship she's never even seen me |
# ? Feb 2, 2015 14:20 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 07:46 |
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Stormyish posted:I'm sorry, I only talk to sailors |
# ? Feb 2, 2015 14:21 |