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the spyder posted:Too many sugar pills finally did him in. Or his heart just couldn't take pumping all that blood down to his junk anymore.
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# ? Feb 5, 2015 22:38 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 06:53 |
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RFC2324 posted:I worked places that took it farther. For example, we were not allowed to say 'the PROBLEM with your software' we had to say 'the ISSUE with the software' because 'problem' was negative, and 'your' would make the customer feel like we were blaming them. Ha, where I worked we couldn't say "Issue" because that set off one of our managers.
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# ? Feb 5, 2015 22:38 |
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kensei posted:Was his name Jeff? Nope! Eldercain posted:Maybe I'm just completely embittered, but when I hear a lot of that stuff that you KNOW someone at a call center is faking, it just makes me feel like I'm speaken to a completely broken down human. I'll just say that this business had a very deliberately crafted image and that their clientele would generally not be interacting primarily with the staff or thinking about them unless they were being treated poorly. The focus on a happy facade and little subconscious tricks like that made sense in this context, I think. It probably would have been easier to maintain that shiny facade if the owners of the business had seen fit to treat and pay their employees well. Alas. RFC2324 posted:Or his heart just couldn't take pumping all that blood down to his junk anymore. It's pumping it back up that's the problem
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# ? Feb 5, 2015 22:45 |
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m.hache posted:Ha, where I worked we couldn't say "Issue" because that set off one of our managers. poo poo like this always made me stabby.
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# ? Feb 5, 2015 22:49 |
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Rhymenoserous posted:poo poo like this always made me stabby. Heh, One of my old gigs banned the following which led to some bizarre support conversations... - Workaround - Temporary Solution - Alternative Solution - Temporary Fix
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# ? Feb 5, 2015 22:55 |
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Rhymenoserous posted:poo poo like this always made me stabby. I thought it was fun trying to find worse ways to describe the situation. "So your malfunction is...."
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# ? Feb 5, 2015 23:00 |
Tab8715 posted:Heh, We have a non-final solution to your sub-optimal operations that should allow things to work in a close approximation of the expected fashion. The final solution should be delivered soon!
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# ? Feb 5, 2015 23:02 |
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Rhymenoserous posted:My favorite customer at the web hosting company sold dick enhancement pills and he was loving hilarious, because he was upset that he was having to call in, but had such an gregarious personality that it was hard not to have fun on his calls. When I started my current gig, it was with a small hosting company. Much of its initial clientelle were porn sites and quasi-legal porn/pill pushers. These clients were the absolute best. They didnt know poo poo about technology, so they hired us because we knew. They'd listen to the recommendations we made, and would spend enoyugh money to make their sites and apps run. it was their business, and they made decent technology decisions much of the time. Slowly, we got respectible, and got bigger customers, and got bought out. We ended up getting fedgov customers, and bigger companies. We got bought out again. as we got more and more "respectable" the customers got worse and worse. We had a customer that was getting totally 100% free hosting complained about how long she had to wait on the phone for engineers when she had questions. (on average, less than a minute back then.) She'd complain about how long her network changes would take (since she was a friend of the CEO, they were always escalated and pushed to the top of the change window every 24 hours, so she waited less than a day each time) and all that kind of crap. I commonly get customers that don't understand how backups work. "we only have 500gb of data, why are we being charged for 2tb of backup streaming?" "Because you wanted full backups every week, and you stream 500gb of stuff every time, plus incrementals of changed stuff, plus the dump of the database which is 100gb, which is snapped seperately to ensure cohesion multiple times an hour, therefore..." I commonly have to explain to customers, "If you did not purchase consulting services for X, we aren't going to help you with X unless you pay for consulting services." Then having to explain to upper management that, "No, setting up Oracle RAC is not a normal or simple part of setting up a website, and its not reasonable to walk customers through it like it is setting up load balancer configs." "Just do it, or the customer will leave!" yeah, i'm ranting. I had a day.
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# ? Feb 5, 2015 23:04 |
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Tab8715 posted:Heh, As the intermediate step towards final resolution, we need you to apply these fixes as remediation until full deployment of the final solution can be utilized.
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# ? Feb 5, 2015 23:11 |
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Siochain posted:As the intermediate step towards final resolution, we need you to apply these fixes as remediation until full deployment of the final solution can be utilized. I'm saving this for later...
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# ? Feb 5, 2015 23:12 |
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n3rdal3rt posted:A job interview came in....... and went seemingly well. Good for you. Make sure you nail them down on how much their Holiday Ham costs when you start talking compensation.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 01:11 |
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ConfusedUs posted:We have a non-final solution to your sub-optimal operations that should allow things to work in a close approximation of the expected fashion. The final solution should be delivered soon! That's when you find out on a Customer Satisfaction form that your customer is Jewish.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 01:18 |
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The user was "in meetings all day." I'll try tomorrow. I do have the spork.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 03:22 |
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ConfusedUs posted:We have a non-final solution to your sub-optimal operations that should allow things to work in a close approximation of the expected fashion. The final solution should be delivered soon! I have bad news for you about your proposed wording...
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 03:58 |
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ConfusedUs posted:We have a non-final solution to your sub-optimal operations that should allow things to work in a close approximation of the expected fashion. The final solution should be delivered soon!
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 04:00 |
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Hate to say it but that's some top tier doublethink
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 04:12 |
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We put up a picture of this over the door to our work area back when I was on the Geek Squad. The supervisor came in, asked us what it was, we said it was an old German saying. Then he came back a couple hours later and made us take it down.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 04:31 |
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Jedi425 posted:We put up a picture of this over the door to our work area back when I was on the Geek Squad. The supervisor came in, asked us what it was, we said it was an old German saying. Jesus Christ. That's horrible. You hung that at the workplace? I don't even
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 04:36 |
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Agrikk posted:Jesus Christ. That's horrible. I mean, it was Geek Squad.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 04:44 |
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Jedi425 posted:We put up a picture of this over the door to our work area back when I was on the Geek Squad. The supervisor came in, asked us what it was, we said it was an old German saying. You are hosed in the head. It's from the labor camps
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 04:45 |
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I like how you're all reacting way more strongly than I, a native German.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 04:47 |
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Agrikk posted:Jesus Christ. That's horrible. You'd be amazed at the dark humor the combination of retail and IT can create. A coworker of mine at an old job (similar to Geek Squad) once hung our phone from the ceiling using a noose made of its own cord because it was ringing constantly. On another occasion we brought in an actual toilet and put it in the middle of the room for some reason or other.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 04:48 |
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Roargasm posted:You are hosed in the head. It's from the labor camps Did you, Roargasm, recently hear a whooshing sound and feel a brief breeze above your head?
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 05:13 |
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I'll be ironic about tragedies all day on GBS but I usually leave that poo poo in the car when I go to work
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 05:16 |
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KaneTW posted:I like how you're all reacting way more strongly than I, a native German. I don't think it was Germans on the wrong end of that That being said, lol
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 05:21 |
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stubblyhead posted:Check out The Right Stuff sometime. Tom Wolfe goes into a bit of detail about the pilot accent and its origins. Long story short, they're all impersonating Chuck Yeager.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 05:33 |
A call came in.... User stated that wireless has been down "all week" in her area. I was not informed at all until today when they assumed I would be on site. I had to blow off going this week because they usually don't have anything for me to do, it's a 100 mile drive, and we were supposed to transition about a week ago (week ago) but they're kiting me until such time as they can't due to contractual/menstrual blahblahblah. Plus it's really busy at my main site. If I knew there was something to do up there I wouldn't have made a decision to make them wait till next week, but oh well, I'm past the point of caring. My lead is behind me on not going and my manager is too busy with selling girl scout cookies to really give a drat and has given me a ton of leeway on how I manage visits anyway. Bottom line: Don't like it? Replace me... like you were supposed to have done already. skooma512 fucked around with this message at 05:50 on Feb 6, 2015 |
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 05:40 |
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Roargasm posted:You are hosed in the head. It's from the labor camps Oh, the guy who printed the picture knew. This was a guy who drew a picture of himself shooting himself in his Best Buy uniform, at work. He was one of the happy ones. (It wasn't me, but I went along with putting it up.) I'm nowhere near as, well, as working at Best Buy now, but 10 years ago was a different time.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 05:44 |
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KaneTW posted:I like how you're all reacting way more strongly than I, a native German.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 08:31 |
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Oh god I'm becoming that user. Yesterday I couldn't remember my WebEx password and had to reset it, this morning I've forgotten the one to my Exchange account.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 09:09 |
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KaneTW posted:I like how you're all reacting way more strongly than I, a native German. Wrong opinions and an anime avatar? Boy howdy you sure are the complete package.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 10:54 |
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jammyozzy posted:Oh god I'm becoming that user. Yesterday I couldn't remember my WebEx password and had to reset it, this morning I've forgotten the one to my Exchange account. I'm with you in that boat. Currently I'm rummaging through the printer settings for a Ricoh 3003 because I set it to duplex print and now I need to set it back, and I can't for the life of me find the duplex menu setting.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 11:14 |
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Farecoal posted:I don't think it was Germans on the wrong end of that Well, it was, it was just also Germans on the other end too.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 12:29 |
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skooma512 posted:Bottom line: Don't like it? Replace me... like you were supposed to have done already. One of my girlfriend's coworkers put in her 2 weeks notice a few days ago, and a day or two later her boss came in and started chewing her out about how she didn't do some x or y thing right because she didn't care etc. Her boss is well known for being a petty power-grubbing type, but I mean she has to know the 2 weeks thing is a professional courtesy thing right? People who know they are leaving just don't care a super lot about what you think of them. She also relayed me a story of one of their computers which stopped working, and when IT got down there and opened it the cause was apparently that it was filling up with rat poo poo/hair and dead roaches
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 16:00 |
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Sonic Dude posted:You'd be amazed at the dark humor the combination of retail and IT can create.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 16:44 |
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Farecoal posted:I don't think it was Germans on the wrong end of that Modern Germany is remarkably sensitive about that part of their history. To the point that you might have been fined for doing that there.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 17:24 |
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Agrikk posted:Jesus Christ. That's horrible. Haha, I have put up similar signs at more than one job. It was over the top of my monitor for months at a really lovely consulting company I worked for.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 17:34 |
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The Fool posted:Modern Germany is remarkably sensitive about that part of their history. To the point that you might have been fined for doing that there. Industrialized genocide is only a fine now? That seems a bit lax.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 17:51 |
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Fined for hanging up an auschwitz joke.
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 17:55 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 06:53 |
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Kurieg posted:Fined for hanging up an auschwitz joke. double woosh
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# ? Feb 6, 2015 18:13 |