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Predict: How many matches will we play with Pyramid across all competitions (partial games count). If you're a man, all of them. Tiebreaker 1: What will be our goal differential those matches? 30 Tiebreaker 2: How many goals will we score per game while in the Pyramid? 3.6
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Feb 9, 2015 05:40
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Chapter the Second: That damned glass mansion again. August 12, 2027-September 10, 2027 It's time to get this show on the road and kick off the season. For a couple weeks, at least, since the least popular international break in existence comes up at the start of September.  That's a smaller boost than I'd have expected, perhaps things were thrown off by this being the first year in our new stadium? Regardless, season tickets earn us £18m. Our balance at the start of the year is £66.4m. vs Bolton Wanderers, August 14, 2027 Premier League  A home match against a newly promoted side that three years ago was in League One? And it's the televised opening kickoff of the Premier League season? Why yes, that does sound like the perfect opportunity to debut the Pyramid. Starting Formation: The Pyramid Starting 11: Minami Tounkara Quiboulaz, Laux, Shirra, Zouaghi, Moctezuma, Stringel, Rickard, Thiago, Mujkic (c). Subs: Kocsis, Hammatt, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Pickee, Rouissi. Bolton sees none of the ball while the home team patiently chips away at their turtle shell. It leads to Stringel's first goal of the season, set up by a decoy run from Rodrigo Moctezuma. Stringel adds a second just before halftime, and it's all his own work. He pilfers the ball from the left back, and sprints towards the goal, and no one is near fast enough to stop him before he puts it right past the keeper. It takes only two minutes more for him to find his hat trick, and the full house of 39,500 roars with delight. Before the day is out Stringel picks up a fourth goal, and we've won our first competitive match at our new stadium and with our new formation. Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel   Wrexham 4-0 Bolton  If we can pull 39,500 a game we're going to make a lot of money. 17,000 tickets multiplied by an average price of 39 pounds is over £650,000 per match day.  I'm trying to give you a chance to fight for a spot on the first team, you dummy.   : Why can't you kids just- wait. What did you just say? : I'll prove to you that I deserve more playing time.: Oh. Well, good. Uh. See you at training.  How is this supposed to end? Will I realize my tragic error and fall to my knees weeping for the cruelty I've imposed upon you? Will I put you in the first team just in time for you to lead us to a triple? Please, enlighten me. Because all you're doing is convincing me to never let you near the pitch again. vs West Ham United, August 18, 2027 Premier League  I would like to play the Pyramid every game, but unfortunately we don't have the defensive midfielders for it and I don't like letting Loseille and Reed sit on the bench too long. So it's back to the boring 4-2-3-1 for our tilt with the Hammers. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Bailey (c), Allan, Pickee, Bouzid, Damgaard, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Leandro, Tounkara, Zouaghi, Bale, Rouissi, Stringel. The crowd watches us spend the first twenty minutes playing ping pong with the crossbar. It's not very enlightening, unless you find wisdom in disappointment. We catch a break when West Ham have their right back sent right off for going in two-footed on Damgaard despite getting the ball, and we have seventy minutes with which to enjoy our man advantage. It takes us only a moment to score, and while it's only one-nil it might as well be one-hundred to nil for how little hope remains for West Ham. We tally three more times before the close of business, with strikes from Thiago, Ali Bouzid, and Kais Rouissi. Man of the Match: Jonathan Quiboulaz   Wrexham 4-0 West Ham At Crystal Palace, August 21, 2027 Premier League  We travel to the den of the one club that claimed the pelt of a dragon last season.  I've been looking forward to meeting you again. Face my wrath, and my five man forward line. Starting Formation: The Pyramid Starting 11: Minami, Tounkara, Hammatt, Laux, Shirra, Zouaghi, Moctezuma, Stringel, Rickard, Thiago, Mujkic (c). Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Bale, van Leeuwen. We play obnoxiously, scorning opportunity after opportunity, and allow an easy goal due to complacency. You can hear my rage vibrating throughout the stands at the half. It doesn't help that the Palace keeper is playing out of his mind, and certain to win Man of the Match if he keeps his clean sheet. It also doesn't help that Palace is playing a hack and slash defensive style, happy to trade yellow cards for slowing down our offense. That pays off in a big way when Thiago is forced from the pitch after yet another horror tackle that the referee ignores. We concede a second goal off a corner in the final ten minutes, and for the second time in a row Crystal Palace walks away with three points despite being outplayed by every standard but the scoreline.   Palace 2-0 Wrexham  The Palace player undercut him on the header, it was a clear foul in the box... not that the referee cared.  If he heals quickly he'll be available for our match against Arsenal, but I doubt he'll be able to recover in time for our Manchester City fixture on September 11.  Colwyn Bay's head coach put the play that took down Thiago on repeat for his players, saying “That's a hip check, buddy!”  Our new feeder club made it to the group stage of the Champions League. Maybe we'll get to play them.    Or not. Our group is nothing special, but we certainly didn't get the simplest draw. It looks like there could be some surprises coming out of Groups A, C, and perhaps F.  We played Blackburn just last year in this same competition. I'd have much rather drawn any number of other clubs, my familiarity with a club that we've beaten 10 out of 12 times is breeding contempt. vs FC Twente, August 27, 2027 UEFA Super Cup  I will not be halted by any loss. I will not bow to the champions of Europa. Let them face the full might of our ancient scheme and see if they have the mettle to match us. Starting Formation: The Pyramid Starting 11: Minami, Tounkara, Hammatt, Laux, Shirra, Zouaghi, Moctezuma, van Leeuwen, Rickard, Stringel, Mujkic (c). Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Bale, Rouissi. I pump my fist when Stringel scores early on the rebound from a Mujkic free kick, but it's waved off as the referee judges that he passed the final man before the ball had left Mujkic's foot. That's our best opportunity in the opening minutes as once again our players are hitting the posts as if woodwork was worth bonus points, and I'm really starting to wonder how we could be so bad at finishing. Stringel puts us ahead in the 18th minute, just to see Twente respond in the 20th. After taking seventeen shots in the first half, creating two clear-cut and four half chances, I have to wait until the 45th minute for Ellis Rickard to bring us back into the lead. An hour into the match each team's supporters has a moment with their heart in their throat. First Twente tear upfield to equalize on a counter attack, but a late whistle wipes it off the board. Then Wrexham fans get to experience the same feeling as we finally get some daylight to work in, but Ellis Rickard sees his second goal called off as well. It's our fans who end up going home happy, though, when substitute Callum Allan launches a rocket through the back of the net with ten minutes to play. Man of the Match: Callum Allan   Wrexham 3-1 FC Twente   My 20th cup win triggers an achievement that I didn't know existed.  The current ownership of Leeds has created a club that's firmly entrenched in the middle class of the Premier League, finishing between seventh and fourteenth the last five years. I'm not sure their fans are going to do any better than this.  Ah crud. We won't be using the Pyramid for a bit.  It's like PSG is only trying to anger me. At least increase your offer, you wankers.  Dang, Collignon's only been in power for a couple months and already £100m has flown out the door at New Old Trafford. With the window closed I want to take a mosey through our depth chart, as we have a lot of young players trying to make a name for themselves.  The Keeper position remains static, with Koji Minami and Lajos Kocsis holding down the fort and Malte Landgraf in the youth squad.  Right fullback sees Johnny Q backing up Steve Reed. Teenagers Leandro and Rene Mattuschka are liable to get some playing time over the course of the season in our easier matches.  Our centerback quartet remains the envy of the world, with Laux as first among equals. We also have several kids who can contribute, of them Leandro is most likely to get into matches as he's no longer eligible for our youth squad.  Left fullback is Loseille's domain, and we could be in trouble if both he and Quiboulaz go down at the same time. It's one position where we don't have a young prospect waiting in the wings, academy graduate Connor Laidlaw-Wilson notwithstanding.  The defensive-oriented central midfielder slot is a spot of relative weakness, which is troublesome when trying to play a tactic like the Pyramid that requires two of them. Zouaghi is still a teenager and a budding star and Laux is capable of handling the job, but we need players like Gary Lewis to blossom to provide depth.  On top of having two high quality players in Callum Allan and Scott Shirra, we have a wealth of prospects who could one day take their place. The two young players who've been subject to the most hype are Ferdi van Leeuwen and the Batman, while Claus Damgaard also makes for a solid offensive-minded center midfielder.  With the departures of Shahed Parr and Matias Mercado we're left with beardless youth out on the right. Moctezuma and Bale's combined age is 36, or one year older than Mercado. Meanwhile Pickee makes for a mediocre emergency option, while Jeremy Hubert is 17 and has a long ways to go before making an impact with the senior team.  Our cup runneth over with attacking midfielders. Beyond having three world class players at our disposal, there's another eight under the age of twenty-four that could reach similar peaks. It's lucky that most of them can play another position, or they'd never get on the pitch.  Meteor has had this position locked down since his arrival lo' those many years ago. He's backed up capably by Claus Damgaard, and we have four more players who could turn out to be quality players.  It's a good thing that the Pyramid requires a lot of strikers, because we've got a passel of them who need opportunities to prove what they can do. The strike corps is naturally lead by Stringel and Thiago, but Pickee, Rickard, Moctezuma, van Leeuwen, and Rouissi would all challenge for a starting role on most Premier League clubs.  The international break is well timed, considering both of our best strikers are injured. I head back to the Western Hemisphere to sport with Ecuador and Brazil. We should be able to beat Ecuador. I don't expect to come close to Brazil, who have been on the warpath after a disastrous qualifying campaign left them out of the 2026 World Cup.  The USMNT did their level best to imitate Wrexham, hitting the post and crossbar three times throughout the match. We may have been dicked over by a penalty in the final minute of stoppage time, but if we'd done our job we wouldn't have been clinging to a one goal lead.  ... Glad to see that optimism.  The USMNT played Brazil dead even, but our visitors found a goal and we didn't. A 1-0 loss to Brazil is not something I'm going to be too concerned about, but a win would have been sweet.  The team doesn't seem that concerned about our performances either, and as we part ways we're just one international break from the start of World Cup qualification.  Other than a disappointing lack of goals from the Pyramid things are going about as expected. I might have to go back and dig through my files to see how rarely we convert our chances as compared to our opponents, though. It seems like we do an exceptionally poor job of it regardless of the type of chance. It doesn't even seem to be about getting our shots on target, we've had games with a dozen balls put on net and few if any goals to show for it. We're also entering the toughest patch of our schedule, with away matches against Manchester City and Arsenal coming up with both Thiago and Stringel sidelined by injury. I may be confident, but I'm not insane, and the Pyramid will have to wait for an opponent like West Brom to make it's next appearance.  Prediction Contest Predict: How many matches will we play with Pyramid across all competitions (partial games count). Tiebreaker 1: What will be our goal differential those matches? Tiebreaker 2: How many goals will we score per game while in the Pyramid? Predictions will be open until 12pm EST on Wednesday. Also, we still need a name for the stadium, right now the following suggestions have been submitted: Dragon's Den Castell Coch The Red Keep (2 votes) The God King's Playground/Court (2 votes) Regardless of what we pick you can expect me to append "at the Racecourse Ground" on the end of it. habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 11:22 on Feb 10, 2015 |
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Feb 9, 2015 05:44
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23 matches +6 GD 2.2 goals per game And since I'm feeling saucy, name the new stadium The Hacienda. Lastly, gently caress the Pats
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Feb 9, 2015 10:13
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I think the problem with the pyramid is that it scares the opposition to play very defensively, with many players close to the box. This means that there just isn't room to shoot straight at the goal and the attackers are forced to aim close to the woodwork. Because they are good they are hitting close to where they aim, but not in that small hole where it's a goal. I'm honestly not sure how to open up the opposition box, except with quick counters or possibly with switching sides more and forcing the defense to move more. I think that Barcelona (the real life one) sometimes struggle with this same thing. They have the possession and the chances but when most of the game is played at the oppositions last third, it's very cramped. Oh and might as well throw a quess here: Games: 25 Differential: 40 Goals per game: 2.8
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Feb 9, 2015 10:40
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15 Games +25 Differential 2.7 Goals per game
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Feb 9, 2015 13:25
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Gonna go with 30 goals, a +29 goal diferrential, with the Pyramid scoring an average of 3,1 goals per game And we should name our testament to Wrexham's glory The Red Keep at the Racecourse Grounds of course.
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Feb 9, 2015 13:34
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Prediction Contest 25 matches are played in the pyramid with an average of 2.9 goals scored and a final difference of +19
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Feb 9, 2015 13:44
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28 matches, +23 difference, 3.4 avg goals Is what I'd say.
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Feb 9, 2015 19:44
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27 matches +19 differential 3.1 avg goals
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Feb 9, 2015 20:08
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habeasdorkus posted:It's like PSG is only trying to anger me. At least increase your offer, you wankers. I once had PSG spend (what seemed like) an entire transfer window offering me £72m for one of my players. His value was set at £75m. It's not rocket science, you numpties.
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Feb 9, 2015 20:31
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Stadium grounds needs to be called Dinas Emrys or Dinas Ffaraon Dandde.Wiki posted:Literary tradition
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Feb 9, 2015 21:01
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Eifert Posting posted:Stadium grounds needs to be called Dinas Emrys or Dinas Ffaraon Dandde. I dunno, Dinas Emrys isn't really very close to Wrexham (when you consider Wales' size as context)
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Feb 9, 2015 21:03
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Was King Arthur North Welsh? If so I'm super tempted to nominate something with Avalon in it. EDIT: Well crap, didn't read the previous posts. I will probably withdraw my nomination.
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Feb 9, 2015 21:11
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The God-King should put his own mark on the stadium with a bit of good ol' American tradition. Name it the Pizza Hut "Taste The Za" Stadium. We needed money, right?
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Feb 9, 2015 21:16
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Jeremor posted:The God-King should put his own mark on the stadium with a bit of good ol' American tradition. The Doritos and Mountain Dew Present: Flavaz Explosionz Stadium, In Association With General Motors
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Feb 9, 2015 21:23
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Brony Hunter posted:The Doritos and Mountain Dew Present: Flavaz Explosionz Stadium, In Association With Major League Gaming FTFY. This combination of advertisers would also see a resurgence of MLG Montage Parodies on AmazTube starring Wrexham FC complete with epileptic effects and the late 2020's equivalent of dubstep.
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Feb 9, 2015 21:59
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Oh my giddy aunt, Sligo Rovers in the Champions League group stages. The Bit o' Red are my local team, so any updates on how they do would be great. Predict: How many matches will we play with Pyramid across all competitions (partial games count). 15 Tiebreaker 1: What will be our goal differential those matches? +6 Tiebreaker 2: How many goals will we score per game while in the Pyramid? 2.5
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Feb 9, 2015 23:11
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habeasdorkus posted:
Probably for the best.  18 Games 0 GD 4 goals
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Feb 10, 2015 00:02
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 Oh it's cute that you all are still trying to think of a nickname for my splendid temple! It's not the people to decide what to name my tribute, but merely to empty their wallets at my feet and not look me in the eye when they do so! Perhaps if they scrape together their bottle caps and food stamps, perhaps they can afford a standing room only ticket right outside of the bronzed gates where they can stare longingly at a pitch they could only dream of planting one of their filthy toes on. Regardless, per executive decree and a boatload of money delivered right to my front door, our new home is now Guy Fieri Presents His Kickin' Awesome Donkey Sauce Lounge and Saloon Stadium, and if you want to put that "at the racehorse grounds" in like size four font at the end of it, I suppose I'll allow that. For a fee, of course.
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Feb 10, 2015 00:55
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I'm going with The Red Keep at the Racecourse Ground. Speak now or forever hold your peace!
habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 04:00 on Feb 10, 2015 |
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Feb 10, 2015 03:58
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Do it.
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Feb 10, 2015 04:32
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If we can get a Big naming rights sponsor it should be called the "Dragons Den" at The Racecourse Grounds but other then that Red Keep is great.
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Feb 10, 2015 05:07
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The Red Keep is good.
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Feb 10, 2015 09:34
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Chapter the Third: Red SwinglineTM stapler. September 10, 2027-October 5, 2027 We're going into a meatgrinder, with matches against Manchester City, Italian champions Roma, and Arsenal all in a row. Arsenal and Manchester City are both away matches, as well. If we win these games we'll have proven that we are indeed still the team to beat in both the Champions League and the Premiership.  Three-peat! Three-peat! Three-peat! At Manchester City, September 11, 2027 Premier League  It's Ellis Rickard's big day, as Thiago is four days out from a full recovery and Stringel is almost two weeks from recovery. We're going to need him to show the class that lead him to 21 goals in the Championship last season. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Hammatt, Loseille, Zouaghi, Allan, Bale, Pickee, Mujkic (c), Rickard. Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Bailey,Shirra, Damgaard, Moctezuma. A lucky bounce and incisive passing from Pickee and Rickard gives Meteor a clean shot in the first minute, and we're up 1-0 before the fans have even taken their seats. Heroic efforts from the Citizen keeper prevents us from adding goals over the next twenty minutes, and then their defense finally finds a way to keep us from threatening further. It's a tough scrap from that point on, but Allan supplies the dagger with a 70th minute goal and Manchester City don't have time enough to catch up despite getting a lucky bounce on a corner where the ball first hits the crossbar, then bounces off Minami's back and into the net. When Allan scores a second goal with minutes remaining it merely punctuates the quality of our performance. Man of the Match: Callum Allan   Man City 1-3 Wrexham  He'll be back in the lineup against Arsenal, but needs a couple days rest before that in order to be fully fit. As such, Rickard gets a second start, this time in the Champions League against the winners of last year's scudetto. vs AS Roma, September 15, 2027 Champions League, Group G  I would so love to use the Pyramid in this match, but with Thiago and Stringel both absent we don't have the horses up top to pull it off. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Bailey, Shirra, Moctezuma, Allan, Mujkic (c), Rickard. Subs: Kocsis, Hammatt, Tounkara, Lewis, Bouzid, Bale, Rouissi. There's a Wrexham goal in the first minute, as Rodrigo Moctezuma slides his effort through inches of daylight from an incredibly tight angle. Things don't get any better for Roma after that, as Moctezuma is on the warpath, romping through their defense with purpose for the next half hour. His work culminates in a Mujkic goal as they've become so focused on shutting the teen phenom that our other players are so unmarked they can recycle possession in their penalty area. By halftime it's four-nil, and the Italian champions have fallen like wheat before the thresher. At the end of the match Roma slink back home with their tails between their legs, having suffered their worst defeat in 20* years. * (They lost 7-1 in autumn 2014 to Bayern, but that never happened in our AU as we'd already started playing. So I have to go back to another 7-1 loss, this one to Manchester United in October 2007, to find a worse loss than our 5-0 shellacking.) Man of the Match: Rodrigo Moctezuma   Wrexham 5-0 Roma  We sold 39,037 tickets for the match, just shy of a sellout. It looks like the board did a good job planning the new stadium, if we can average that many asses in the seats our match day revenue line is going to look a good deal rosier than before.  It's also the first match played at our now properly monikered stadium. Our marketing department had for some reason kept calling the place “Wrexham Stadium” until now.  Just don't use that foot to kick the ball. That's not too much to ask, right?  Good!  Oh, not so good.  The best young American players have a bad habit of being afflicted by major injuries... .png) You're never going to become a world class centerback if you can't stay on the pitch, Chris. At least this will take him all the way to the offseason so you can't get hurt again. At Arsenal, September 18, 2027 Premier League  The Gunners are off to a hot start, sitting atop the table with ten points through four matches. Going into the Emirates to knock them off their perch will be an enjoyable affair. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Zouaghi, Damgaard, Moctezuma, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Tounkara, Lewis, Bale, Bouzid, Pickee. It's a duel between evenly matched sides, with neither able to gain the advantage or even hang onto the ball due to the tenacious pressing of their opponent. So when the first goal comes, it comes off a counter attack begun by Zouaghi winning a fifty-fifty ball at midfield and off the right foot of Thiago. We hold that one-nil lead into the lockers, and after the first half there's been a war at midfield and both sides have managed a total of six shots between them. The start of the second half sees Matty Collett forget which team he's on as he allows a Moctezuma rocket to ricochet off him and into the net on a corner. Lino Fiorotto, the latest model of a brilliant young Italian striker to grace Arsenal's club, claws the home team back into the match with his league leading seventh goal of the year, and then for the next ten minutes the referee passes out yellow card after yellow card as things get chippy. After the fuss settles down we restore our two goal lead when defensive midfielder Tomas makes a huge error at the edge of Arsenal's penalty area by heading the ball directly to a waiting Thaigo, who appreciates the service and scores his second of the day. When Fiorotto can't get his next chance on target the fans decide to try and beat the traffic, streaming to the exits. They were right to give up on their team as Wrexham are the beneficiaries of a second own goal, this one by centerback Miguel Bautista. Man of the Match: Thiago   Arsenal 1-4 Wrexham  I was poking around one of the information screens, and noticed that there's a player, Andrew Wilcox, on a Premier League roster who doesn't earn a thing. He's in the reserves and isn't registered for league play, so I was curious how long he'd been at Huddersfield.  His tenure goes back to the start of the LP, has never made a single appearance for the club, and has never been paid. He's Milton, and he's going to burn that place to the ground if they don't give back his red goalie mitts.  Our next two matches are against Blackburn and West Brom, so Loseille won't be especially missed. At Blackburn Rovers, September 22, 2027 League Cup, Third Round (Preview screencap was eaten by a grue.) It's a match I don't care about in a competition I'm lukewarm on, against a lower division foe. That screams Pyramid time, with the average age of our starting lineup coming out to 21. Callum Allan and Jonathan Quiboulaz are the old men of the squad, at an ancient 27 and 26 years of age respectively. Starting Formation: The Pyramid Starting 11: Kocsis (c), Quiboulaz, Tounkara, Lewis, Allan, Zouaghi, Bale, van Leeuwen, Rickard, Pickee, Damgaard. Subs: Minami, Hammatt, Laux, Mujkic, Moctezuma, Rouissi, Thiago. It takes three minutes to score our first goal, and another three to double our lead. Oddly, both goals were on set pieces, one corner and one free kick. Ellis Rickard can't stand the excitement, and has to be carted off in the 11th minute with a fit of hilarity. He's giggling from the trainer's room as he watches Dramane Tounkara score his second header of the game. The Batman salts away the victory in the 45th minute, and I'm tempted to ask Blackburn if they'd like to forfeit the rest of the match. They don't, but in retrospect they'd probably like to have had the option. We get a fifth goal by way of penalty when Rouissi is tackled from behind, and the players let Tounkara take the kick so that he can become the surprise hat-trick hero. Claus Damgaard gets a goal of his own as the clock wends towards 90 minutes, and Blackburn were bashed apart in front of their own fans by what was essentially our U21 squad. Man of the Match: Dramane Tounkara   Blackburn 0-6 Wrexham  It's a good thing we have about a dozen strikers on the club, or these injuries might become an issue. Rickard has been superb so far, he's leading the Premier League in assists at the moment even if he only has one goal to his name.  Well well. How's them apples, Collignon. Not so easy to win matches when you're playing real opposition, is it?  What a glad-handing schmuck. I won't fall for your charms, AU-Laurent Blanc.  Another Welsh showdown! This will be the 20th time we've played Swansea in my time with the club. We lost the first three matches, two of which were friendlies. Since then we've won 14, drawn two, and lost one. I like our chances. vs West Bromwich Albion, September 25, 2027 Premier League  We just won 6-0 with an almost entirely reserves squad, so lets see how we do with our first team. Starting Formation: The Pyramid Starting 11: Minami, Tounkara, Hammatt, Zouaghi, Shirra, Laux, Moctezuma, van Leeuwen, Thiago, Rouissi, Mujkic (c). Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Leandro, Lewis, Bale, Damgaard, Pickee. Thiago puts us up one-nil in the middle of a typically dominant first half, and then adds a second on a free kick. West Brom snag a late goal to make a game of it, but the door gets slammed shut by Thiago completing his hat trick five minutes later. Man of the Match: Thiago   Wrexham 3-0 West Brom   : WHO DID THIS TO YOU?!At Braga, September 28, 2027 Champions League, Group G  As was mentioned somewhere waaaaay upthread, Braga has one of the most striking stadiums in all the world:  A Pedreira, as it's known, stands on the edge of an adjacent quarry (hence the name “a Pedreira”) and was built for the 2004 Euro championship. It has rightfully drawn praise and awards for being one of the most creative and impressive pieces of stadium architecture in the world. I'm glad my fictional self gets to visit, even if my real life one probably never will. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami (c), Reed, Leandro, Tounkara, Quiboulaz, Lewis, Allan, Bale, Bouzid, Damgaard, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Loseille, Hammatt, Zouaghi, Shirra, Pickee, Stringel. All Ali Bouzid does is score. Literally. This is the fourth start of his career, and as of the third minute he's scored five times. Braga spends the next twenty minutes keeping us off balance and seeking an equalizer, but their attacks eventually peter out and we reassert ourselves on the pitch in time for Claus Damgaard to score just before the midpoint. There's no comeback in store for the Portuguese, as Thiago makes it three-nil in the 58th minute and Callum Allan converts a penalty that shouldn't have been given but that got Braga's captain sent off in the 74th. Braga do manage a shorthanded goal, but it comes long after the point where it might have made a difference. Man of the Match: Ali “All He Does Is Score” Bouzid   Braga 1-4 Wrexham  Now THAT is definitely a record. Our unbeaten streak is really only 28 games, though, as we went out on penalties in the Champions League semifinal to Chelsea three years ago.  It's not good when you have a guy who's only 25 years old and is already starting to lose his physical talents. I'll be selling a couple of our plethora of attacking reserves at the winter break, and guys like van Leeuwen need to impress me in all areas if they don't want to be the ones packing their bags.  : You gotta relax, Darren. These are meaningless friendlies, you've been playing a lot of matches at Sassuolo, and I don't want to make you fly out here just so you can get 45 minutes on the pitch. You're being rested, not dropped from the international team. Just ask Hunter Fisher. I just made him captain and he's not in the squad either. Wait, what did he say about my kids?  : Fernando needs to check himself into the hospital for memory loss. These “kids” have won back to back doubles. We have nothing to prove to a guy who got fired after only seven months of running Blackburn.vs Reading, October 2, 2027 Premier League  Shahed Parr has stayed healthy for the whole season so far, playing in all seven of Reading's matches. He's been one of their best players, and the one who could cause us the most trouble. Starting Formation: The Pyramid Starting 11: Minami, Tounkara, Hammatt, Zouaghi, Shirra, Laux, Moctezuma, Stringel, Thiago, Pickee, Mujkic (c). Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Leandro, Allan, Bale, Rouissi, van Leeuwen. Thiago seems to have regained his form of two seasons past, he's the first off the mark after banging in a header from Mujkic. Parr pegs back immediately after, though, but when I look to the side ref he has his flag up and Parr's mark is wiped off the board. Reading seem to have our number, though, scoring twice before the end of the half, and we're in the odd position of being behind at halftime. I try to get the team to respond with a vigorous dialectic on the demands of the modern footballer. It invigorates them enough so that we create openings enough to put us back level, but there are to be no goals as we slump to a second defeat.   Wrexham 1-2 Reading  I will burn your family and devour your children, you fortunate braggart. You've just made an enemy.  The loss to Reading is a disappointing coda to an otherwise excellent run of form. We beat two potential title rivals in away matches, rolled over our continental opponents without even noticing they were there, and scorched the earth at Blackburn's Ewood Park so badly that I don't think anything will ever grow there again. Next up we have an international break, a trip to Stamford Bridge to face Chelsea, and a match against Southampton, who are proving to be more than just a flash in the pan.  Prediction Contest I'm going to give people a chance to revise their entries, as it would be unfair to earlier entrants given that we now have a couple months of results since it was posted. We've used the Pyramid in 7 of our 12 matches, scoring 21 goals and allowing 7. We typically play 60-65 matches per season. Predict: How many matches will we play with Pyramid across all competitions (partial games count). Tiebreaker 1: What will be our goal differential those matches? Tiebreaker 2: How many goals will we score per game while in the Pyramid? Entry will still be open until 12pm EST on Wednesday. habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 13:11 on Feb 10, 2015 |
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Feb 10, 2015 12:52
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I've seen you refer to another team advancing on penalties as a loss but in the books, they count as a draw with the penalties coming as the deciding factor to determine who's moving on. So, as far as my understanding goes, the game is handling it correctly. If you're just doing that to give context, then I'm a horrible pedant and apologize.
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Feb 10, 2015 16:48
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Nope! I just flat out didn't know that. I should have trusted that FM was getting it right, even if it seems weird to me. Though I can also understand the logic behind it, penalty kicks/shots are my least favorite way to decide a game.
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Feb 10, 2015 16:52
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habeasdorkus posted:Nope! I just flat out didn't know that. Yeah, you can win in extra time but you advance on penalties. It's a subtle but important distinction.
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Feb 10, 2015 16:55
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habeasdorkus posted:Meanwhile Bolton Wanderers are back in the Premier League, while Tackleford had a strong consolidation year and should be in contention for promotion. Finally  !
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Feb 10, 2015 18:57
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I'll revise mine, seems like I overestimated how fragile your defense would be. Let's say...26 matches, with a goal differencial of +19 and 4.2 goals per match.
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Feb 10, 2015 19:34
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So Huddersfield isn't paying him??? How on earth has he made a living for (in game) 14 friggin years?!?!?!! Collignon comes off as that guy that wants to be friends with everyone because he thinks he's the poo poo. Be on good terms, but nothing more. I have agents searching for those responsible for Will Brown's injury. And they will pay.  I think you got a keeper with Ali Bouzid Also Hernandez apparently has not heard of the phrase Bullying a Dragon and how much that is not a good idea. Oh well, the stupid never learn. Speaking of never learn, that's the second time Patel skipped a training session isn't it? If he doesn't like being fined for not showing up for training, then show up for loving training
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Feb 10, 2015 21:05
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Prediction Contest Predict: How many matches will we play with Pyramid across all competitions (partial games count). 37 Tiebreaker 1: What will be our goal differential those matches? A total of +37 Tiebreaker 2: How many goals will we score per game while in the Pyramid? +3.7 goals/game I am looking forward to Joe Patel's ascension to new Wrexham whipping boy/cautionary tale.
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Feb 10, 2015 21:59
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Predict: How many matches will we play with Pyramid across all competitions (partial games count). 30 Tiebreaker 1: What will be our goal differential those matches? A total of +25 Tiebreaker 2: How many goals will we score per game while in the Pyramid? +2.4 goals/game
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Feb 10, 2015 22:08
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Brony Hunter posted:I dunno, Dinas Emrys isn't really very close to Wrexham (when you consider Wales' size as context) The god king of Wales could have it moved no problem.
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Feb 10, 2015 22:48
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Eifert Posting posted:The god king of Wales could have it moved no problem. Point taken.
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Feb 10, 2015 22:55
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35 matches +35 differential 3.5 goals/game
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Feb 10, 2015 22:56
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I assume that guy's just signed to like a symbolic contract or something like that. Y'all are gonna feel like jerks if you're making fun of their Eric LeGrand now.
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Feb 10, 2015 22:58
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Chapter the Fourth: Spreadsheet Manager Gaiden. October 5, 2027-November 10, 2027 Wrexham has some potentially tricky fixtures coming up, and I don't just mean our trip to Chelsea. Both Swansea and Southampton are very good this year, and we're due to travel onto their home turf. We also have both of our matches against Turkish giants Fenerbahçe, and winning both of them will assure us of a knockout round spot and the chance to throw some matches to  I've been using burner accounts to send Noel Tosh messages stating that he's been fired for the past month, so that when he finally does get fired by email he'll think it's just another troll.  Though how he still has his job right now is beyond me.  Project “To Hell With The USSF” continues apace at Partizan, and it's not like the Belgrade club isn't getting something from the deal as Andrew Paredes and Joey Garcia run riot over the Serbian league. It's looking like past time to cut bait with Libor Ciganek and Keith Coleman, though. This is the third disappointing loan performance for both of them.  I like to see that camaraderie. We're going to need some serious esprit de corps to win the World Cup.  That's the second time recently that our youth team has pasted Uruguay.  Parr's been healthy ever since he left Wrexham. I wonder if he left behind something that was cursed? I'll tell the players to be on the lookout for an idol of misfortune.  Merda/Scheiße/Merde.   The USMNT Tunisian excursion was such a wild ride it needs two screencaps to contain the full summary. We were ahead 5-2 at the half, but Tunisia forced themselves right back into the game as I pulled starters until our offense went ahead and scored twice more late in the second half. I hope some fictional soccer haters watched this game, because there's no way anyone could call it boring with a straight face. That didn't stop me from lighting into the defense after the match, of course. How do you concede five friggin' goals?!  This doesn't quite match the real life record, set when Argentina blitzed the United States 11-2 in the 2028 Olympics. Still, it's comparable to a 22-17 baseball game or a 73-59 football game. A goal was scored every eight minutes!  I like our chances too if we can avoid giving up five goals.  We only gave up two, one on a questionable penalty call, but it was enough to keep us from victory. We still should have scored several more times, the crossbar will need to be replaced at Baba Yara stadium after the drubbing it took from our just off target shots. There were definitely some positives to take from the match, though, and I like our form as we head into World Cup qualification. It's especially nice to see the game referring to an American teenager as a “wonderkid” without derisively adding a comment about him being “the next Jozy Altidore.”    I slapped a “45 minutes only” request on Moctezuma to see if I'd get to have the enjoyment of talking to myself, but Sports Interactive seems to have made sure you don't come off as having a split personality when it comes to being manager of both club and country. Either that, or there were enough whiners giving them the same quote that they didn't need a copy from me.  This guy knows what I'm talking about. Paul, have him sent a thank you telegram. Why a telegram? Because he'll know I cared to find a place that still operates a telegram. Or at least, cared enough to get you to do it for me.  I'm hoping that our fairly high ranking will allow me to entice dual nationals to come play for the USMNT. If we can get into the top ten I'm guessing that the Other-Americans might find a bit of fondness for the red, white, and blue.  Given that he's not eligible to play for Canada for another two years, I'm not all that concerned. We'll probably know by then if he's useful or not and that will determine whether he can go hoof it with those hosers up north. And if I don't want to risk it I can always give him a cameo in one of our World Cup qualifiers and lock him down.  America's qualification matches start in the summer of 2028, so we've got one more friendly before we have to earn our entry to the World Cup. CONCACAF as a whole has been playing matches since this past summer, but they start with just the ten lowest ranked nations in the first round (Caribbean islands, mostly) and the top six by FIFA ranking don't have to play in the second round that's currently taking place. As the United States has reached every World Cup since 1990, it's invariably ranked in the top 6 and hasn't had to play in the second stage since the current format was adopted (which, to be fair, was only adopted in 2012, before that there were only byes to the 2nd round... which the US always got going back to when THAT system was implemented prior to the 2002 World Cup... CONCACAF has a habit of rejiggering it's qualification process). Oh, and since I'm in the middle of going all  and don't think I've ever said this, CONCACAF stands for the Confederation of North, Central American and Caribbean Association Football. It comprises pretty much everyone from Panama northwards, and acts as the continental body of FIFA. The Pyramid has gone through continuous tweaking since I first drew it up. This version's trying to address our lack of width, as I've been noticing that our attack tends to get clumped together. I've also removed the “drop deeper” order, as I see our midfield regularly getting compressed with our back line. In time I'll be adding a 2-5-3 where the wingers drop back to a wide midfield position in order to create a tactic that's more capable of dealing with runs down the flanks. Steve Reed and James Loseille are also being tutored on playing further up the pitch so that they have a role to play when we go sans fullbacks. It'd be a shame to have the best right and left backs in the world and never use them. At Chelsea, October 16, 2027 Premier League  It's been tough sledding for Victor Romanchuk in his return to Chelsea. He's managed to lose to Leeds twice already, once in the Capital One Cup and once in the League. He also lost to Manchester United, which is understandable, and West Brom, which isn't. They'll get back on track eventually, but I hope we can grab three points while they're struggling to kick it into higher gear. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control. Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Hammatt, Loseille, Zouaghi, Shirra, Bale, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Leandro, Laux, Lewis, Bouzid, Damgaard, Moctezuma. Minami allows his second own goal of the season, and this one is a howler. A free kick comes right at him, hits him in the chest, falls to his feet, and rolls through his legs. It's the worst mistake I've ever seen a keeper make, and I've seen many, many semi-pro and teen keepers in my decades managing. We're lucky to get through the rest of the first half without further incident, and I try to rally the frustrated and furious troops. When Chelsea score a second goal just 85 seconds after play resumes, it's clear that my efforts didn't work. With nothing to lose, I switch to the Pyramid in hopes of giving us a chance to get back into the game. Thiago achieves that objective with a goal in the 70th minute after fighting off a Chelsea defender, and now it's time to fight for the draw. We get the opportunity to equalize when Hammatt has the goal at his mercy ten minutes later, but he has to use his foot, and he's not very good at kicking the ball. It's our last look at the net, and Wrexham has lost two league matches in a row for the first time in four and a half years.   Chelsea 2-1 Wrexham  Tell them to go to bed earlier, then.  The takeover saga at Leeds has been going on now for nearly two months. The players and staff are handling the uncertainty poorly, and they're presently sitting in the relegation zone. vs Fenerbahçe, October 19, 2027 Champions League, Group G  When the Pyramid was invented Turkey was still 40 years from being born amid the ashes of the Ottoman Empire. Let us show you how to respect your elders. Fenerbahçe is a part of the troika of Istanbul based clubs that usually dominate the Turkish league, but right now they're struggling and in 11th place out of 18 clubs after having won the league last season. Starting Formation: The Pyramid Starting 11: Kocsis, Hammatt, Laux, Lewis, Allan, Bailey (c), Moctezuma, Stringel, Thiago, Pickee, Damgaard. Subs: Minami, Quiboulaz, Shirra, Zouaghi, Bale, van Leeuwen, Rouissi. We take another early lead on an excellent dribble and shoot by Damgaard that broke his marker's ankles. Our visitors put it in the net less than two minutes later, but the goal gets called back as one of their strikers pushed Ed Hammatt out of the way as our big man leapt to intercept the shot. Damgaard continues to have a fine day, picking up an assist for providing perfect service to Stringel ten minutes after his goal. Nothing much of note happens in the second half until the 78th minute, when one of our teenaged defensive midfielders, Gary Lewis, is taken out by a two-footed tackle. The Turkish player came in from the front and got the ball, but he's sent off anyways. Fener can't keep pace with our attack after that, and it's not long before Rodrigo Moctezuma lands us a third goal. Man of the Match: Claus Damgaard   Wrexham 3-0 Fenerbahçe  With how many of our defenders are getting tired you'd think that we were playing a tactic that required them to run all day...  It's not like the current manager has earned much trust given that they're sitting on five points.  Wait, why is Minami unavailable?  With the U23 team until the end of November?!  For the Asian Games?! Goddamnit. I hate Japan. At least Kocsis won't have any reason to whine about not getting playing time. vs Stoke City, October 23, 2027 Premier League  The Potters are having an excellent season thus far, with only one loss (to West Brom) marring there record. They're coming off a victory over Arsenal, in North London no less, and are feeling their oats. So it's time for them to meet the Pyramid and be reminded of their place beneath the Pharaoh of Football. Starting Formation: The Pyramid Starting 11: Kocsis, Tounkara, Quiboulaz, Laux, Shirra, Zouaghi, Moctezuma, Stringel, Thiago, Pickee, Mujkic (c). Subs: Landgraf, Leandro, Hammatt, Bailey, Allan, Rouissi, van Leeuwen. Our defense does it's job well throughout the match, preventing Stoke's forwards from latching on to any through balls and denying their attempts to craft dangerous counter attacks. But Stoke stymie our every effort, with their keeper making nine saves and their defenders throwing their bodies in front of four other shots as we approach eighty minutes. The crowd is getting nervous as we've failed to break through and it's looking like our winless streak will extend to three matches, but Meteor Mujkic saves the day after Thiago sees him slip by his man. His wonderful goal is the difference in a game where our offense looked uninspired and drab. Man of the Match: Dramane Tounkara.   Wrexham 1-0 Stoke  Recovery period? What sort of nonsense is that? Sounds like they're malingering to me.  I'll see you all on the practice pitch. 6 am, sharp. Note: may not indicate true intensity of training.  (Except for everyone who played in the last match, y'all take two days off.)  Welcome back, Rickard. Get out there with the rest of the squad. We're doing suicides. For the next four hours.  Project “Fine, I'll fix America's player development problem myself” update, Michael Enriquez is joining us on a free transfer. He was with the Columbus Crew of MLS, but they hadn't bothered to sign him to a new contract and I had no interest in finding out six months from now that he was unemployed despite being good enough to start right now for any Championship squad with the potential to become “a leading Premier League central midfielder” in time. FM does a very good job creating a feeling of verisimilitude as you play, and their precise recreation of the abysmal state of American youth soccer programs is one facet of that. At Swansea City, October 26, 2027 League Cup, Fourth Round  Our southern rivals are only two points back of us at the moment on the league table, and are doing so despite also playing in the Europa League group stage. As such, I don't expect this to be a cakewalk. This is already our third match of the season against them, having played them in the Mini-Cwp and the Community Shield. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kocsis, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Bailey, Shirra, Bale, Allan, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Landgraf, Quiboulaz, Tounkara, Lewis, Bouzid, Damgaard, Thiago. Our best scoring opportunity in the early minutes ends with Shirra and Allan hit the post and crossbar within two seconds of each other, I swear it's as if someone has brainwashed my players into thinking that the woodwork is worth double points. Shirra's rocket of a right foot finally puts one in the back of the net at 30 minutes, and I can reduce the amount of obscenity I was planning on using in my halftime haranguing. I can essentially eliminate blasphemous oaths from the schedule six minutes later as Isaac Stringel scores as well. Both he and Shirra had been unimpressive over their past five matches, and I had challenged both of them to show me something. Now they have, and I feel like Napoleon at Austerlitz. We follow the maxim that a good offense is the best defense, and though we don't score again our possession based game squeezes the life from Swansea and never give them an opportunity to get back in the match. Man of the Match: Scott Shirra   Swansea 0-2 Wrexham  The other three matches have West Brom traveling to Leeds, Southampton getting to face lower division side Sheffield United, and a match in North London between Arsenal and Manchester City. Of the bunch only Sheffield would have been significantly easier.  I keep saying it, and I keep hoping it comes true, but right now they have four points on us.  gently caress. NSFW At Southampton, October 30, 2027 Premier League  Southampton have fallen sharply off the pace of the league leaders in the last month, losing three of their last four matches, and it's not hard to see why. They played Manchester City, Arsenal, and Chelsea in that time period, with a trip to Reading tossed in for good measure. If they want to contest a top four spot they need to beat us at St. Mary's to avoid falling seven points off the pace. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kocsis (c), Reed, Tounkara, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Zouaghi, Allan, Moctezuma, Bouzid, Damgaard, Thiago. Subs: Landgraf, Leandro, Hammatt, Lewis, Rouissi, Mujkic, Stringel. Our Danish dervish breaks the offside trap and is one on one against the keeper with an eternity to maneuver for a clean shot. He slices to his right, gets around the keeper, takes his shot, and hits the far post. Two points to Wrexham. Two minutes later the Saints march straight down the pitch and do what you're supposed to do with the old onion bag. I point vigorously to Damgaard and then the net in an attempt to educate him via gesticulation. I should have been pointing at Thiago, because when he gets his one on one with the keeper he fires straight at the man instead of at the expanse of white string behind him. Moctezuma then follows up by completely missing an open goal, and we've apparently developed a well tuned comedy routine for the blooper reels. Instead of bellowing like a stuck bull at the half I instead remind the squad that they're only down a goal, and that we're still in this thing. Thiago rewards my composure seven minutes after the interval by scoring a free kick from approximately the vicinity of Paris to equalize. I apparently forgot to remind them that hitting the post isn't worth anything, though, as Moctezuma spurns a prime opportunity to put us ahead in the 56th minute. I yank the Yank from the match, and send Stringel out to range on the right side of the pitch, but James Loseille shows his solidarity with the wonderkid by hitting the post himself with 20 minutes left. A minute later Thiago puts it off the post for the fourth time today, but this time it bangs off the inside of the frame and across the goal line. With 15 minutes remaining Southampton's Jacob Rose drops the ball across the goal line in on a corner, but the catch is that it's his own net, and he gives us the breathing room of a two goal lead. Callum Allan makes it 4-1 in the 85th minute, and all the fight has gone out of Southampton after they played us toe to toe for over an hour. Surely some of that is due to losing on bonus points, two shots against the goalframe to three. Man of the Match: Thiago   Southampton 1-4 Wrexham  Your teammates could have saved me the trouble if they'd managed to just put the damned ball in the goal when they have a wide open net instead of fiddling with precision shots. Deep in the bowels of the Red Keep October 31, 2027 at some ungodly hour in the morning (PAUL WILLIAMS opens the door to THE COACH's privy chamber with a sheaf of papers in his hand.)  : Hey boss, here's those those numbers you wanted.: Thanks. The server picked a bad time to conk out on us, I know it wasn't easy putting this all together by hand instead of just querying the database.: It's OK, my wife goes to bed early anyways.(THE COACH looks up, surprised.) : You have a wife?: Uh, yeah. You've met her dozens of times... we've been married since my second year on the job here-(THE COACH waves him off.) : Tell me what you've got.Wrexham 2027-2028, all competitions  : Here's all the shot data. We're scoring on about a third of our shots on target, and putting about 45% of our shots on net in the first place. That's...: That's not bad. Not great, but still solidly above average.: Right. Because the database is out, I only had an old printout from WhoScored lying around that had the Goals/Shots on Target stats for the first 24 matches of the 2014-2015 season, but it's still a big enough sample to compare with.(WILLIAMS passes a yellowed xerox held raggedly together by two rusted staples to THE COACH) : Good enough for sixth in the league... League average was 30.2% of shots on target converted for goals... Wait, through 24 matches the best team had only put 144 shots on target?: Yep.: And we've put 148 shots on target through 17 matches?: Ayup.: So that means we're on pace for-: 209 shots on target over 24 matches.: Wow... That's a lot better than I though we were doing.: That's not all. Look at the next page and how our opponents are doing against us.Opposition  : They're scoring on fewer of their shots than we are?: Yeah, when teams play us their shots on target find paydirt about as often as 16th ranked Burnley did thirteen years ago.: And here I thought we were giving up more goals than we normally would because we were playing so far up the pitch...: It gets better, we've only conceded 40 shots on target. Pro-rated for 24 matches to match the data we have, that's a pace of 56 or 57 shots on target conceded... That's about 58% of league average, and would rank dead last in the league.: So you're telling me that our players are scoring at an above average rate when we get our shots on target, and we put waaaaaaaay more shots on goal than anyone else...: Mmm-hmm.: And on top of that our opponents haven't had much success converting their own shots on target into goals, and they get only about 60% as many shots on target as compared to the average team in the first place?: I think that about sums it up. I told you that you were wrong about how much we should be scoring.: Huh. I guess I owe the players an apology for that whole “It's a simple game! You pass the ball. You dribble the ball. You shoot the ball.” bit I did after the match, huh?: You're lucky they're all so young that they think you were being original.: That'll be all, Williams.: Thanks, Coach.(WILLIAMS turns to leave and steps out the door, but is halted by THE COACH'S voice) : Wait one second. We're getting 46% of our shots on target. How does that compare-(WILLIAMS sighs) : League average was about 32% of all shots were on target, high was Chelsea at 39% and low was Stoke at 25%.: Drat, so I can't even give them a sermon about that. What about our opponents?(WILLIAMS winces) : It's on the second page of the printout.: Oh... 44%! How can we be letting our enemies to put such a high percentage of their shots on target!? Get out of here, Williams, I have a jeremiad to rehearse.(WILLIAMS closes the door and quickly walks away) : Do re mi fa so la ti doooooo.At Fenerbahçe, November 3, 2027 Champions League, Group G  With nine points in three matches we're essentially booked for the knockout rounds. It would take Roma winning twice while losing to Fener and Fener winning all three of their remaining matches for us to finish third. Ergo, I have no concerns about breaking out the Pyramid in Asia Minor. Starting Formation: The Pyramid Starting 11: Kocsis, Tounkara, Quiboulaz, Zouaghi, Shirra, Laux, Moctezuma, Stringel, Rickard, Thiago, Mujkic (c). Subs: Landgraf, Hammatt, Lewis, Allan, Damgaard, Bale, Rouissi. Eight minutes into the match Moctezuma makes a long run up to the right corner of the pitch and flicks a perfect cross to the far post where Mujkic arrives with exquisite timing to volley it past an out of position keeper. Shirra earns some bonus points for hitting the crossbar ten minutes later, but the Yellow Canaries are pressing hard for an equalizer. We're able to blunt their edge and return to the attack before intermission. Thiago nabs his bonus points for the day by rattling the crossbar from a free kick, and then just before halftime Mujkic races onto a rebound during a fast break to put us up by another goal. Fenerbahçe are given a ray of hope in the second half, however, when Dramane Tounkara is sent to an early shower after picking up a second red card with 30 minutes left to play. Being shorthanded doesn't stop Shirra from scoring three minutes later, though. We keep our clean sheet through the end of the match, and after four matches have already clinched first place in group G. Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic   Fenerbahçe 0-3 Wrexham  It's his first offense with Wrexham, and his first red card period since he was 15. But it's still a red card, so he gets fined. I reduce it to a week in light of the fact that he rarely picks up yellow cards.   : I'm not paying you for matches you don't play.   There's some intrigue yet in the Group Stage after four games. Group B is tightly clustered with no one eliminated yet, and reigning German champions Wolfsburg sitting at the bottom of the pile. Group C is even more up in the air, thanks to Manchester United's inability to put away their minnow groupmates. And in our group each of the other teams still hope to advance. I'm considering letting our winning streak lapse in order to help Braga, who have never played in the knockout round before.  I'm hoping they'll be able to rest during the coming international break. Otherwise we'll just have to deal with them wearing down.  This, coincidentally, happens to be the exact amount we have in the bank right now. I'm grateful for the president sneaking behind the back of the board to give me more funds to work with, but I sadly have to decline as I'd rather not cause a scandal two months before the annual election.  Again?  Big words from someone who's personality has been “unambitious” from day one.  I don't think Lewis is going to become a great coach...  Since we got a local boy in office we've won a triple and a double. I don't think he's liable to quit now. At Derby County, November 6, 2027 Premier League  Derby got off to a hot start, and sit just behind us in fifth place. They're coming down to earth, though, their last game was a 4-0 beatdown by a visiting Arsenal squad that wasted no time showing them that they need to earn their spot at the top of the heap. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kocsis, Reed, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Zouaghi, Shirra, Bale, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Landgraf, Leandro, Tounkara, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Rouissi. Derby are out to prove that I was taking them too lightly, as they grab the lead in the fourth minute and then get a gift penalty in the 9th. We're down two goals before I can even blink. They don't keep their cushion for long, though, as we close in 80 seconds later on a combined Stringel and Thiago joint. We nearly equalize twice in the next two minutes, forcing the Derby keeper to make a sprawling save and sending a shot off the crossbar. But Derby has no answer for our furious fightback, and Stringel makes it two-all in the twenty-second minute. For the rest of the first half we hammer away at the home defense, but shockingly it's Derby who pull ahead moments before the whistle. I spend the break calmly going over our tactics with the players, and imbuing them with the knowledge that we can still easily win the match. I don't add that it's going to be difficult given that the ref has obviously been paid to screw us, but I imagine that thought was implied. My faith is rewarded with a spot of luck as Derby's keeper does an awful job corralling a Thiago free kick and lets it squirt between his hands for an equalizing own goal. It's rewarded again in the 76th minute when Hammerin' Ed Hammatt muscles in a corner kick for our first lead all day. Sadly, a win just isn't in the cards, as we concede yet another goal in the dying minutes. It's frustrating to draw, but we deserved no better given our sloppy defense.   Derby 4-4 Wrexham  : I saw the ref checking his bets at halftime, why is no one investigating this? “May have gotten the decision wrong.” You may be covering up for a crooked referee who cost us two vital points.  Don't worry, I have the cure for what ails ya.  Aww yissss, team vacation.  Oh no you don't.  Team vacation means EVERYONE vacation.  I'm glad I finally crunched the numbers on our goal-scoring. It's nice to know that we're actually converting an above average number of shots into goals, and that our defense is holding up well (Derby debacle aside). It's also nice to know that the other teams are seeing their shots doink off the goal frame just as often as we are, about 6% of the time. It just happens to us so much more often because of the unbelievable number of shots we take. We may have lost two more games than all of last season already, but the only difference between our results last year and the ones this year are that we've had a couple bounces go the wrong way rather than having them go in our favor. I have no concerns about our chances at a third title in a row, and I look forward to proving it.  
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Feb 11, 2015 00:12
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habeasdorkus posted:
You're drat right. habeasdorkus posted:
*slips another cheque into Brown's back pocket*
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Feb 11, 2015 00:29
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godking posted:The USMNT Tunisian excursion was such a wild ride it needs two screencaps to contain the full summary. We were ahead 5-2 at the half, but Tunisia forced themselves right back into the game as I pulled starters until our offense went ahead and scored twice more late in the second half. I hope some fictional soccer haters watched this game, because there's no way anyone could call it boring with a straight face. In the states we call this type of game #MACtion, where you give no fucks about anything but putting the ball into the end zone, and especially not about defense. Besides, the quicker the other team scores the faster you get the ball back. Big 12 soccer is also an acceptable term.
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Feb 11, 2015 00:43
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habeasdorkus posted:
Hey, the Los Vegas "sports networking seminar" is still on, right
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Feb 11, 2015 00:45
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