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Testekill posted:Yeah, nobody believed the old one either. Yup but somehow somewhere went "This one, they'll believe."
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Feb 15, 2015 10:28
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Even imgur is calling this one out but...
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Feb 15, 2015 11:30
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Of course they are, that's a joke that's been going around since at least Clinton.
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Feb 15, 2015 12:52
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I love the phrase "without skipping a beat " I always read it as ALERT THIS IS STDH
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Feb 15, 2015 13:46
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tater_salad posted:I love the phrase "without skipping a beat " It's like 'but curiosity got the best of me' in creepypastas. You have to rely on recognisable formulae if you want people to like your story.
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Feb 15, 2015 13:59
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She's smart, so I expected her to get a totally wrong answer about something she surely heard about in school during the entire past week
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Feb 15, 2015 15:01
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Aw gently caress yes, thank you imgur frontpage.
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Feb 15, 2015 16:11
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Fathis Munk posted:Aw gently caress yes, thank you imgur frontpage. I assumed that was intended to be a joke http://imgur.com/gallery/OWS0F I read the first image from this saga and posted a link to the full thing without reading it, guaranteed STDH though 
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Feb 15, 2015 16:30
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Fathis Munk posted:Even imgur is calling this one out but... My biggest problem with this is that the girl was 10. That's 4th or 5th loving grade. You're learning long division, writing 3-5 page book reports, entering science fairs... some of my friends were starting to develop boobs at that point and this woman's marveling that she might correctly answer a question you'd ask a kindergartner.
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Feb 15, 2015 16:54
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EmmyOk posted:I assumed that was intended to be a joke You know what, it probably is and I got carried away because a stdh-y story with Einstein was just too good.
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Feb 15, 2015 17:15
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Das Boo posted:My biggest problem with this is that the girl was 10. That's 4th or 5th loving grade. You're learning long division, writing 3-5 page book reports, entering science fairs... some of my friends were starting to develop boobs at that point and this woman's marveling that she might correctly answer a question you'd ask a kindergartner. I actually consider this one believable, but the 10 year old isn't wise beyond her years, she's repeating something she heard an adult say as a joke, and took as truth. poo poo happens all the time.
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Feb 15, 2015 18:46
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Problem is, they make a big deal out of the tiniest holidays in grade school. There's no way she made it to fifth grade without doing a special activity for Groundhog Day and President's Day, usually with the teacher reading a themed story to boot.
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Feb 15, 2015 19:14
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Shintaro posted:I actually consider this one believable, but the 10 year old isn't wise beyond her years, she's repeating something she heard an adult say as a joke, and took as truth. poo poo happens all the time. How retarded are the 10 year olds you encounter (or don't) that you don't think a kid would understand that this is a joke and why it's meant to be funny, rather than "took it as truth"? It's not exactly advanced humor and the majority of 10 year olds are not THAT dumb.
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Feb 15, 2015 21:16
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moerketid posted:How retarded are the 10 year olds you encounter (or don't) that you don't think a kid would understand that this is a joke and why it's meant to be funny, rather than "took it as truth"? It's not exactly advanced humor and the majority of 10 year olds are not THAT dumb. Well, the goons in this thread seem to have a hell of a time distinguishing obvious jokes from stdh stories that are meant to be taken seriously.
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Feb 15, 2015 22:24
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tacodaemon posted:Well, the goons in this thread seem to have a hell of a time distinguishing obvious jokes from stdh stories that are meant to be taken seriously. Lmao if you're not an autist who takes everything at face value.
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Feb 15, 2015 22:59
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tacodaemon posted:Well, the goons in this thread seem to have a hell of a time distinguishing obvious jokes from stdh stories that are meant to be taken seriously. I'm sorry but if it contains "without missing a beat" and/or Einstein, it's good enough for the threat  Have some boring standard stdh  
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Feb 15, 2015 23:00
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If it's not a confession why the gently caress do you use a meme called confession bear to tell your made-up story? I'm sure not for internet points by people who love that meme.
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Feb 15, 2015 23:07
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Im from Canda
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Feb 16, 2015 00:45
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I am a men.
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Feb 16, 2015 01:18
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I'm in a fight club for rich white female divorcés
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Feb 16, 2015 01:46
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EmmyOk posted:I'm in a fight club for rich white female divorcés Nice to hear that all those war criminals running POW camps found work running preschools after the war(s).
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Feb 16, 2015 02:00
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oldpainless posted:Lmao if you're not an autist who takes everything at face value. Sorry to hear you're autistic, forums poster old painless, but at least you lived to a ripe old age and feel no pain!
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Feb 16, 2015 02:03
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Also is sass the new "I'm so sarcastic/snarky"?
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Feb 16, 2015 02:07
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david... posted:Sorry to hear you're autistic, forums poster old painless, but at least you lived to a ripe old age and feel no pain! There is no space in my name. Please note for future reference. Thank you
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Feb 16, 2015 04:26
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EmmyOk posted:I'm in a fight club for rich white female divorcés "We found your son, hacked into pieces." "Yes, but were they in the bucket?"
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Feb 16, 2015 05:01
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Any smart kid would've put the bucket over their head
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Feb 16, 2015 06:40
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Pretty sure this hasn't been posted yet: tl;dr Guy posts to reddit the chronicles of stalking, recording and divorcing his cheating wife.
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Feb 16, 2015 06:55
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Pistoph posted:Pretty sure this hasn't been posted yet: tl;dr Guy posts to reddit the chronicles of stalking, recording and divorcing his cheating wife. Fox News had absolutely nothing better to do than report about a guy who caught his wife cheating, I guess.
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Feb 16, 2015 07:27
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I can't believe I read all of that... It's just so poorly written and boring and is full of holes. My favorite part is how he has to explain how a PI operates because it must be unbelievable to some people. As if nobody has ever questioned a secretive chase scene in a movie.
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Feb 16, 2015 07:43
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Pistoph posted:Pretty sure this hasn't been posted yet: tl;dr Guy posts to reddit the chronicles of stalking, recording and divorcing his cheating wife. What's so funny about this is: let's say for the sake of argument it's true. And he's doing all of this so he'll have "proof" for his "case". He's blowing all of that money on a PI when the way it actually works is, if you want a divorce you just get a drat divorce. You don't need permission, and you don't need proof. He was convinced almost immediately that she was cheating. Having her followed accomplishes nothing more than he would have accomplished if he had told her to gently caress off ten minutes after he found the first text message. The only exception might be if they have a prenup with a fidelity clause.
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Feb 16, 2015 15:36
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Stop giving him so much FLAC, he's just a product of learning about divorce from 60s sitcoms. And if the PI was just a roundabout way to leave her with less money by spending it, it'll be fun to see his reaction when it's argued that amount should from his cut instead of the shared pot
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Feb 16, 2015 15:42
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Marley Wants More posted:What's so funny about this is: let's say for the sake of argument it's true. And he's doing all of this so he'll have "proof" for his "case". He's blowing all of that money on a PI when the way it actually works is, if you want a divorce you just get a drat divorce. You don't need permission, and you don't need proof. He was convinced almost immediately that she was cheating. Having her followed accomplishes nothing more than he would have accomplished if he had told her to gently caress off ten minutes after he found the first text message. The only exception might be if they have a prenup with a fidelity clause. He does have an infidelity clause. He mentions it every couple paragraphs. I think my favorite part is how he keeps whining about the 'haters' calling his story fake, cus he just doesn't need that poo poo while he's going through such a hard time. But he's "no bitch", he'll get through it. Oh, and he can't post proof because his wife will find this reddit thread and it'll blow the whole operation.
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Feb 16, 2015 15:44
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Marley Wants More posted:the way it actually works is, if you want a divorce you just get a drat divorce. Yeah I can't even imagine bothering with such nonsense unless I was super rich and didn't want to have to give her half of my fortune or whatever. If he's just some regular guy working at Starbucks or something, there's no point in doing all this poo poo. (I didn't read that wall of text, so if he is saying he's rich, that means it's probably just plain old stdh)
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Feb 16, 2015 15:55
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Marley Wants More posted:What's so funny about this is: let's say for the sake of argument it's true. And he's doing all of this so he'll have "proof" for his "case". He's blowing all of that money on a PI when the way it actually works is, if you want a divorce you just get a drat divorce. You don't need permission, and you don't need proof. He was convinced almost immediately that she was cheating. Having her followed accomplishes nothing more than he would have accomplished if he had told her to gently caress off ten minutes after he found the first text message. The only exception might be if they have a prenup with a fidelity clause. This could be dependent on which state he's in, but getting actually divorced takes a while. Some states will make you go through a trial separation for a year before they allow a divorce to happen. The only way you can make a divorce happen immediately is if there is cause.
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Feb 16, 2015 16:29
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Pistoph posted:He does have an infidelity clause. He mentions it every couple paragraphs. poo poo. Really? I skimmed pretty quickly, but you'd think I would have picked up on at least one of them. Ok then, never mind. Max posted:Some states will make you go through a trial separation for a year before they allow a divorce to happen. The only way you can make a divorce happen immediately is if there is cause. I'm kinda-sorta-pretty sure that in any state, if a preliminary separation is required it's mandatory under any circumstances. Won't bet money on that, though. Do you have any particular state in mind? Easy enough to look up the statute, just for curiosity's sake.
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Feb 16, 2015 16:38
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Pistoph posted:He does have an infidelity clause. He mentions it every couple paragraphs. I think my favorite part is how he keeps whining about the 'haters' calling his story fake, cus he just doesn't need that poo poo while he's going through such a hard time. But he's "no bitch", he'll get through it. Oh, and he can't post proof because his wife will find this reddit thread and it'll blow the whole operation. Personally my favorite part was how bewildered he was about why his wife would possibly ever cheat since they have a lot of sex and he "makes her cum a couple times a session." Because that's the only reason anyone would ever cheat. Then he straight up compares dick sizes with the other guy (his is bigger of course). And of course he's the calm rational guy while his wife is just the crazy moody bitch.
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Feb 16, 2015 18:44
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I had no idea fidelity clauses existed nowadays, wow. I'm very in favor of prenups but I sure as poo poo wouldn't marry someone who wanted me to sign one with a fidelity clause. Not because I'm aching to jump on strange dicks the second I get a ring on my finger, but because someone who goes to a goddamn lawyer and actively puts that in there with no real reason to think it's going to be an issue is probably someone who has serious issues with trust and control. Although honestly the fidelity clause sounds more like SDTH added in to stop people from pointing out that it doesn't matter from a legal standpoint if someone cheats. My brother's best friend actually did something very similar to Reddit guy (minus the SDTH and the posting it to the internet). When he realized his wife was having an affair, he accessed her texts, emails, and Facebook, and hired a PI. He gathered up all this info into a loving Infidelity Dossier, which he gleefully produced at their first hearing while arguing that because of her infidelity his wife, who made about 20% of the total household income, should receive no assets beyond what she brought into the marriage and be forced to take on all marital debts including the ARM for the house they'd bought two seconds before the housing crash. His lawyer was like "Um, no, it doesn't work that way and no judge or mediator in the state is going to even consider this."
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Feb 16, 2015 21:06
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Kimmalah posted:Personally my favorite part was how bewildered he was about why his wife would possibly ever cheat since they have a lot of sex and he "makes her cum a couple times a session." Because that's the only reason anyone would ever cheat. Then he straight up compares dick sizes with the other guy (his is bigger of course). Yes! Came to post this, definitely the best part of it. He also mentions how well off he is. Also "erasing all traces of me breaking into her phone", what traces would guessing her password leave?
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Feb 16, 2015 21:44
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EmmyOk posted:Yes! Came to post this, definitely the best part of it. He also mentions how well off he is. Also "erasing all traces of me breaking into her phone", what traces would guessing her password leave? Maybe he had to write a GUI before he sent the spike
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Feb 16, 2015 22:11
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canyoneer posted:Maybe he had to write a GUI before he sent the spike Better luck next time, slughead!
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Feb 16, 2015 22:14
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