|
Farquar posted:You've probably already tried this, but when we first started bottle feeding I had a lot of sporadic yet adamant refusals, before I realized I just sometimes wasn't making it warm enough. Thanks, but yeah - in fact, I think it might be the opposite problem sometimes and he's annoyed that it's warm! He usually gets breastmilk at room temperature.
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2015 03:12
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 4, 2024 13:10 |
|
|
sullat posted:Unfortunately, my kids seem to fall on the "takers" side of things, rather than the "takees" side of things, I try and stop it and make them return the toy, which seems to defuse any tensions. Best solution is to prosecute the child for theft, and the parent for being an accessory after the fact. Or maybe an accomplice? It's been a while since law school. But that should prevent any repeat behavior. Don't be an rear end. Kids take poo poo, my kid's been on both sides. The concern is that their parent ignored it to the detriment of other kids in the class. AngryRobotsInc posted:Some parents will just straight up let their kids get away with things like it's no big deal. I'm not entirely certain there's ever really one surefire way to do anything about it when it is affecting your kids, without pissing someone off along the line. Who cares if you piss someone off in a situation like that? Maybe next time they'll think about the impact their parenting choices have on others. no they won't 
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2015 06:43
|
|
|
Kalenn Istarion posted:Don't be an rear end. Kids take poo poo, my kid's been on both sides. The concern is that their parent ignored it to the detriment of other kids in the class. They were making a bad joke, ActusRhesus is a lawyer.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2015 13:21
|
|
|
jassi007 posted:They were making a bad joke, ActusRhesus is a lawyer. Yeah. I didn't read it as an insult either. Maybe next time use a winkey face?
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2015 14:15
|
|
|
AngryRobotsInc posted:Some parents will just straight up let their kids get away with things like it's no big deal. I'm not entirely certain there's ever really one surefire way to do anything about it when it is affecting your kids, without pissing someone off along the line. Agreed. Kids are kids, they all go through phases where they're the taker or the takee, the biter or the bitee. It's dealing with the parents that is a problem. In the situation in question, I'd just keep policing the situation. I wouldn't prevent the kid from taking the toy or instrument every single time, because my kid needs to learn that there's such a thing as taking turns and maybe his turn with this item is over right now, but when it becomes just the other kid only wanting things because other children have them, I'd tell them no, sorry, choose something different right now because it isn't your turn with this one yet. The other parent can be pissy all they want, they'll either get over it eventually or just quit the class because the other moms are *soooo mean* to their kid.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2015 21:39
|
|
|
Fionnoula posted:Agreed. Kids are kids, they all go through phases where they're the taker or the takee, the biter or the bitee. It's dealing with the parents that is a problem. In the situation in question, I'd just keep policing the situation. I wouldn't prevent the kid from taking the toy or instrument every single time, because my kid needs to learn that there's such a thing as taking turns and maybe his turn with this item is over right now, but when it becomes just the other kid only wanting things because other children have them, I'd tell them no, sorry, choose something different right now because it isn't your turn with this one yet. The other parent can be pissy all they want, they'll either get over it eventually or just quit the class because the other moms are *soooo mean* to their kid. It was the latter. There was literally a rug full of instruments to chose from, including duplicates, but within seconds of my kid choosing one the other kid would grab it out of her hands. The first time I let it go. The second time enough was enough.
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2015 03:27
|
|
|
Dealing with other parents can be so hard. We had the opposite happen - a girl the same age as my daughter, 1,5 years old, got a bit aggressive because my daughter wanted to play with a toy that belonged to the other girl, but that she wasn't playing with at the time, and shoved my daughter pretty hard. Which is totally understandable, because hey - they're 1,5 years old! My kid was a bit startled, but none the worse for wear, but then the girls mother came over and shouted really loudly at her daughter, scolding her - and that scared my kid way more than the push, and she started crying in fright - she's never been yelled at like that before, and I don't think she understood that it was being directed at the other little girl and not her. Both too little and too much dicipline from other parents can be difficult to deal with...
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2015 11:09
|
|
|
I have three kids, we've been doing playdates for over 4 years now as well as adventures in kid-heavy environments, and I've encountered the range of parents. The only thing I can control is myself and my reaction, and in a small way I can control my kids and how they react, so I always try to either remove myself/kids from an unnecessary situation or mitigate the damage. If a kid is being a dick, I reassure my kids they don't have to play with that kid and if it gets unbearable then I try to create a physical barrier between my kids and the bully. Worst case, we leave wherever we are. No activity is worth your kids being abused by some rear end in a top hat kid. I never try to parent another kid, or tell them to stop doing something, unless they are actively harming my kids. EVERY parent is sensitive to what other people think of their skills and by openly telling another kid what to do, even if you are in the right, you will inevitably rub someone the wrong way. When in doubt, tell an employee as no one wants to get sued. EDIT: if my kid is the one being an rear end in a top hat, I make sure they understand what they did was not nice, apologize to the person they harmed, and work to resolve the problem. Usually they are overtired or hungry and either a snack or a nap will fix the problem. My oldest used to slap at kids when they took toys from him, but after a few months of consistent intervention he learned to not use his hands and try to use his words more.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2015 02:36
|
|
|
I've only ever told off two kids that weren't mine, and that was both together. Only then because no idea where their parents were, as they were just running up and down the street while I was having a smoke on the front porch. Son was looking out the front door, and waved when he saw them, and they decided it was a grand idea to stand right there at the end of our sidewalk mocking him. Using delightful words like retard and the like. Otherwise I just tend to redirect him to something away from any kids causing issues, because it's not worth the trouble doing pretty much anything else could bring.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2015 03:20
|
|
|
I told off a kid for throwing rocks at my neighbours little boy (he was about 10, the neighbours kid was 4 or 5) and he told me to gently caress off and called me a loving ginger bitch. I went round to his house and told his mum and his mum said she was very sorry but "boys will be boys". I think she was used to people coming round to complain about her demon hellspawn child but had absolutely no control of him at all.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2015 10:11
|
|
|
I barked at a kid who had cornered my son (who was barely two at the time) in a jungle gym and was slapping him while my son bawled. Only after I had hauled my heavily pregnant rear end up there and rescued him did the kids mother show up and ask "oh, was he hitting him?" Man was I pissed, don't regret it at all.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2015 00:33
|
|
|
My kid is 4. She is already picking up some bad habits that I don't know how to break, but I do know that they're probably the result of bad parenting on my part. Shortie is what school calls "sensitive and defiant". If she doesn't get what she wants, she cries. If you tell her "no", she decides that you have "said a bad word" and she gets mad and then cries. If you tell her that something is disallowed (playing with a certain toy, maybe) she gets mad, and then when your back is turned she goes and gets it anyway. She likes games until they get too hard. If she fails more than once, she loses interest and refuses to try again. This can be a game that she likes, that she likes to talk about, that she gets excited about... but as soon as you ask if she wants to play, she says "no, I get it wrong". Reminding her that she can't get it right if she doesn't practice or try does nothing. If you tell her she can't have (food / tv) until she practices, then she decides she didn't want (food / tv) anyway. If someone is nearby, she loses all ability to do things. If you are in the restroom with her, she can no longer pull her pants up or down. If you force the issue by refusing, she'll just sit in the bathroom and cry. For ten minutes. At that point we figure she's upset about being upset and we give up. Telling her no is taken personally. Things aren't worth doing if they are hard. She becomes helpless at the slightest opportunity. I am failing as a parent.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2015 22:51
|
|
|
Hungry Squirrel posted:
Games are suppose to be fun not forced. This sounds like a really weird thing to do.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2015 22:56
|
|
|
Hungry Squirrel posted:My kid is 4. She is already picking up some bad habits that I don't know how to break, but I do know that they're probably the result of bad parenting on my part. Kid is 4. 4 is hard. Reward good behavior, don't reward bad behavior. Learn how to present a false choice, do you want the "blue one, or the red one", rather than "what do you want" or "do you want this or not?" or an ultimatum. You don't need to tiger-mom/dad the kid into practicing much of anything at 4. Do things that are fun until they aren't fun anymore, and then give it a break. Keep yourself sane and even-keeled. Watching you freak out about defiance is very rewarding and stimulating for children. So don't do it. Kid will eventually be 5, and will have a whole new set of tricks up her sleeve. You will not look back on year 4 as the year it all went wrong. Slo-Tek fucked around with this message at 23:04 on Feb 18, 2015 |
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2015 23:02
|
|
|
A lot of kids are like that, unless someone is being emotionally or physically abusive it's hard to lay that at the feet of the parents. The most stoic Ron-Swanson-ish guy I know has one "normal" son and one incredibly sensitive/whiny son. Not saying it's a lost cause, either: she's FOUR. If it's prologue at all it may be prologue to growing up to be a perfectionist.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2015 23:11
|
|
|
Alterian posted:Games are suppose to be fun not forced. This sounds like a really weird thing to do. She's taking part in a research study; she's supposed to play a 15-minute game once a day to study the impact of educational games on learning. So it's a game, and I want it to be fun, and I want her to think that "doing science" (which is what we call her study visits) is fun... but it's also something that we'd really like her to do. She won't play because she did poorly... but honestly, she got the question wrong because she stopped paying attention so she could tell us she was cold, or hungry, or thirsty, or show us how funny her feet are when they wiggle under the blanket... and when all that was over, she forgot what she was doing, and had to guess. She can do it, she's just choosing to screw around, and then she gets it wrong and gets huffy.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2015 23:15
|
|
|
Part of edutainment is making sure that its appropriate for the age. If what they made isn't appropriate for a 4 year old that should be important information for the study as well. (I teach a class in serious games and a lot of designers don't seem to understand that)
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2015 23:17
|
|
|
Slo-Tek posted:Learn how to present a false choice, do you want the "blue one, or the red one", rather than "what do you want" or "do you want this or not?" or an ultimatum. This has never, ever worked with her. Ever. Do you want the red pants or the green ones? "The pink ones". Those are in the laundry, hon, we have red and green today. Which do you choose? <Crying ensues over the lack of pink pants>. After a few minutes of repeating that I'm sorry, but she can't have what she wants, it's not available, she'll eventually sniffle and choose either one of the two, or a third option that is also in the drawer. But she's never been content to limit herself to the two presented choices, and she will fight you on it if you try to redirect her back to those.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2015 23:19
|
|
|
Hungry Squirrel posted:She's taking part in a research study; she's supposed to play a 15-minute game once a day to study the impact of educational games on learning. So it's a game, and I want it to be fun, and I want her to think that "doing science" (which is what we call her study visits) is fun... but it's also something that we'd really like her to do. She won't play because she did poorly... but honestly, she got the question wrong because she stopped paying attention so she could tell us she was cold, or hungry, or thirsty, or show us how funny her feet are when they wiggle under the blanket... and when all that was over, she forgot what she was doing, and had to guess. She can do it, she's just choosing to screw around, and then she gets it wrong and gets huffy. Well forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do certainly isn't going to make her think science is fun. Who gives a poo poo about a research study  This isn't like brushing your teeth or cutting your toenails, if she doesn't want to do it then who cares?Hungry Squirrel posted:This has never, ever worked with her. Ever. Do you want the red pants or the green ones? "The pink ones". Those are in the laundry, hon, we have red and green today. Which do you choose? <Crying ensues over the lack of pink pants>. After a few minutes of repeating that I'm sorry, but she can't have what she wants, it's not available, she'll eventually sniffle and choose either one of the two, or a third option that is also in the drawer. But she's never been content to limit herself to the two presented choices, and she will fight you on it if you try to redirect her back to those. Those questions have never worked with my son either. For clothing choices, we just tell him he needs to pick a shirt/pants or we're going to. If he refuses to pick anything, then by the time we start forcing a shirt over his head he'll quickly change his tune and pick something. Papercut fucked around with this message at 23:23 on Feb 18, 2015 |
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2015 23:21
|
|
|
Alterian posted:Part of edutainment is making sure that its appropriate for the age. If what they made isn't appropriate for a 4 year old that should be important information for the study as well. (I teach a class in serious games and a lot of designers don't seem to understand that) I have no idea if it's appropriate. They show a picture of an amount of fruit, and say it (two bananas). Then you hit space to put them in a basket. They give you another basket with bananas in is, articulate it (there are three bananas in the basket). Then the kid hits an arrow key to show which basket has more bananas. I mean, it's boring as gently caress to me, but it doesn't seem super-hard for her. At the end they "win" an animal to add to a jungle scene, and she totally digs that. She really wants to know what animal she'll get next. She just doesn't want to play the game to learn that.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2015 23:23
|
|
|
Papercut posted:
Honestly? I care. I care mostly because she does this with pretty much anything. Opening the toothpaste tube is hard? Done, never trying again. Tying shoes, not happening. She got her zipper stuck once, it took weeks before she would try it again. It's not that I want to die on this particular hill, but this is just such a clear, easily describable issue, with a reward that she wants at the end that she won't give herself the change to get. It's a good example to me of what she's having trouble with, emotionally, and I think it's an easy one for her to see the value of trying again when something goes wrong. I get that she's only four, and she's got a lot of growing up to do. But this is already, at four, becoming a really clear, really consistent pattern that will not be helpful to her as she gets older, or to me as I try to parent her.
|
|
#
?
Feb 18, 2015 23:27
|
|
|
You might try praising effort rather than results. It might be frustrating to you at first but eventually that helps with the complete "won't try because I know I won't do it perfectly" attitude. "I see you really tried with that toothpaste cap, it's really hard to open, isn't it?" 4-year-olds don't tie shoes yet. I'd say end of kindergarten is more age appropriate, that's like 5 and half. In fact being able to articulate which has more is not as simple as it sounds and is probably challenging to her. The ability to look at something and know around how much it is as opposed to counting each piece doesn't come until they are a little older. I guess I'd step back and ask yourself, is this behavior going on when it's truly age appropriate? Or only when it's a bit above her age level? Fine motor skills like zipping, buttoning, tying shoes aren't necessarily all there by age 4. It sounds like she's dramatic on top of all of it. If she bursts into tears at a "no" do your best to ignore the behavior, say something like "I can't hear you when you use that tone of voice" or "I don't respond to that kind of crying" and if she's really crying hard (and it's not an actual hurt or hurt feelings) have her go sit somewhere to finish her crying and when she's calm she can come ask again.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2015 00:30
|
|
|
I know this isn't very helpful to you, but I know someone who behaves this exact same way and is in his 30s. He hasn't worked in over 5 years and spends all his days playing video games and living off of other people. It's a really bad attitude that I'd be terrified if I saw my kids displaying. So good on you for trying to tackle it early. "I guess I'd step back and ask yourself, is this behavior going on when it's truly age appropriate? Or only when it's a bit above her age level? Fine motor skills like zipping, buttoning, tying shoes aren't necessarily all there by age 4. " This is a pretty good question.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2015 00:52
|
|
|
Hungry Squirrel posted:Honestly? I care. I care mostly because she does this with pretty much anything. Opening the toothpaste tube is hard? Done, never trying again. Tying shoes, not happening. She got her zipper stuck once, it took weeks before she would try it again. It's not that I want to die on this particular hill, but this is just such a clear, easily describable issue, with a reward that she wants at the end that she won't give herself the change to get. It's a good example to me of what she's having trouble with, emotionally, and I think it's an easy one for her to see the value of trying again when something goes wrong. My take on this, which admittedly does come down to parenting style/philosophy, is that you can't make people do things. You can encourage/discourage behaviors, but at some point kids and the eventual adults they become just have to make conscious decisions about how to behave. Spending a ton of time stressing about how to force your kids to do certain things is spitting in the wind. Your energy is better spent figuring out how to use encouragement/discouragement to gently nudge them in the directions you want them to go. It sounds to me like you're too caught up in what you think she should be doing and not focused enough on what you can be doing to just get her one step closer to that should. I asked my wife, who is a school psychologist who does learning disability/behavioral assessment and counseling for PreK-8, about how she would approach this situation. Her take was that the physical tasks you're asking (toothpaste, zippers, shoes) are not necessarily developmentally appropriate for a 4-year-old, and that it sounds like you're coming at the "games" with a results-oriented mindset rather than a process-oriented mindset. Somewhere along the line your daughter got the impression that what matters isn't the effort, but whether or not she successfully accomplishes something, and so she's avoiding the possibility of failure. You should be using pure positive reinforcement and praising effort even on easy tasks to reinforce that all you care about is that she tried. One thing my wife was confused about, how does she know she's done poorly on the research game? She said that you would never just tell a kid they're wrong when doing mental tests like that. She also recommended looking up the work of Carol Dweck, a Stanford psychologist who has done a ton of research on behavioral development in children.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2015 04:31
|
|
|
hepscat posted:4-year-olds don't tie shoes yet. I'd say end of kindergarten is more age appropriate, that's like 5 and half. Incidentally, I was unable to tie my shoes until I was in 3rd grade (if not 4th or 5th; it's a bit fuzzy). Some things can just be outright difficult to do for otherwise normal kids. Our 2.5-year-old sometimes has similar problems with defiance and refusal to do things (like eat or sleep). But at a certain point, we do try to just shrug and say that it's not worth trying to force her into it. If she wants to go to bed without pajamas, sure, whatever (unless it's really cold); sooner or later she'll ask for some to get warm. With food, we just don't let her have a treat unless she's eaten to our satisfaction (and sometimes if she doesn't eat at all, we save the food and if she wants a snack later, we'll point her to the uneaten dinner). Though sometimes the problem is that she wants to do something by herself that she can't quite do by herself yet, and convincing her to accept help can be difficult. Then she gets upset that she can't do it (though Daniel Tiger's Frustrated song helps with that sometimes). I realize that 2.5 is rather different from 4, but I do feel that it really is the case that you pick your battles. Kids, much like adults, want to feel as though they are in control of their environment, and assert their independence. Sometimes you just gotta let them control their environment even if it's not the best thing they could be doing. I feel as though days where we've given our daughter more control over her environment are days that she's much more agreeable to us controlling some of it. Could be confirmation bias, but it does feel that way. At least, that's what I think tonight, when my daughter was very easy to get into pajamas and to bed. Ask me tomorrow night and I might have a different opinion regarding her stubbornness.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2015 06:56
|
|
|
Ugh something scary happened last night, David fell and hit his head on the floor when playing with his brother and he just seized up and didn't scream or breathe for 10 seconds before crying, held his hands straight out in front of himself too. I thought it was the fencing position or something like what happens with a concussion but thats only one arm. And when I checked his pupils they both reacted to light and focused in unison and his eyes tracked properly and he acted fine afterwards so it wasn't a concussion atleast. From what I've found out it was a BHS or Breath Holding Spell, apparently babies can get these when they get scared, injured or upset, some can apparently even do it on purpose. Harmless but very scary for the parent they say. Anyone ever had a similar experience? Anyway have a picture, it occurs to me kids are a lot like cats, if there's a box like object they have to be in it: 
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2015 07:21
|
|
|
His Divine Shadow posted:Ugh something scary happened last night, David fell and hit his head on the floor when playing with his brother and he just seized up and didn't scream or breathe for 10 seconds before crying, held his hands straight out in front of himself too. I thought it was the fencing position or something like what happens with a concussion but thats only one arm. And when I checked his pupils they both reacted to light and focused in unison and his eyes tracked properly and he acted fine afterwards so it wasn't a concussion atleast. My sister in laws kid used to do that, she grew out of it though. I also remember talking to a woman whose child did it too. She said that the doctor/health visitor had said that when the child does it they can end up holding their breath for ages so the best thing to do is to give them a light smack and the shock would make them open their mouth to scream and then breathe again. So one time she was shopping with her kid then he tripped up or something, started holding his breath so she lifted him up and smacked his hand or whatever so he would breathe again and everyone round her looked at her like she was a monster for punishing her kid for falling over. (I'm not saying hit your kid if he stops breathing by the way - just a story about it that always stuck in my mind)
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2015 11:12
|
|
|
hepscat posted:You might try praising effort rather than results. It might be frustrating to you at first but eventually that helps with the complete "won't try because I know I won't do it perfectly" attitude. "I see you really tried with that toothpaste cap, it's really hard to open, isn't it?" I totally get why you want to adress that particular issue early, because if she gets too used to this mindset, it's going to cause her so much unneccessary frustration and problems later on, and I definitely second Hepscats suggestion. I've struggled with it myself - I was a very brainy child and way ahead of my peers in any academic setting at primary school. I got used to never having to work hard for a result, everything just came easy. When subjects got harder and I actually had to work to do better, I had a really hard time with it, because I simply hadn't learned how to cope with not getting things right on the first go, and I just gave up completely. I had to learn some valuable skills in high school and upper secondary school that my classmates had learned in primary school, while I just breezed along. So I think you're doing great by wanting her to learn a better way of dealing with challenges early on 
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2015 12:24
|
|
|
His Divine Shadow posted:Ugh something scary happened last night, David fell and hit his head on the floor when playing with his brother and he just seized up and didn't scream or breathe for 10 seconds before crying, held his hands straight out in front of himself too. I thought it was the fencing position or something like what happens with a concussion but thats only one arm. And when I checked his pupils they both reacted to light and focused in unison and his eyes tracked properly and he acted fine afterwards so it wasn't a concussion atleast. Pretty sure something like that has happened to my youngest kid a few times. Always just assumed he was trying to process what just happened before crying it out. Interesting there's a name for it.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2015 14:02
|
|
|
Papercut posted:Well forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do certainly isn't going to make her think science is fun. I agree about the research study. Just drop out. They expect a certain number of people to drop out. Our daughter is a bit like this and for some things we do a "three times rule". As in, we will ask you three times to pick one of these shirts and start putting it on. After that, we pick one and on it goes. She's very independent so this is not something she wants to happen. I try to remember not to make it a punishment and keep it on an even keel, just, "Yeah, we got to move on and do this or we'll be late. If you don't want to do it, okay, but that means I'm doing it." Also, if I have time, I do breaks. I'll just say, "Mommy is getting frustrated and I think you're getting frustrated. Let's have a five minute break and try this again." Or, I'll quietly pick up a book and start reading. I also get good traction with saying, "Just try to do it. I'm watching. If you can't do it after you try, I'll do it, but you have to try." Also, keep the trying very short and sweet and definitely praise effort, not results. I also tell her all the time that the more you do something, the better you get. The big thing in my opinion, is to keep the head-to-head conflicts minimal and for really important stuff.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2015 16:41
|
|
|
Okay, so, nose picking. When my 2.5 year old was younger, her grandfather on my husband's side would constantly tease her. When he was a teenager, he lost half of his middle finger in a saw related accident and since then, I guess he's been a hit with kids--when he pretends to pick his nose with that finger, it kind of looks like it must be jammed up in his brain. When she was about 1.5 she started to imitate him. I'd catch her with her finger up there and I'd tell her not to do that, and she would respond by jamming her other finger up her other nostril and just meeting my gaze defiantly with a finger in each one. At the time, she was just putting it up there, not picking it or anything. We tried to discourage it without making a big deal, and actually treated it the same way we did with her constantly licking other people--no big reaction, just consistent, firm "don't do that please, that's not nice/yucky/gross/dirty". It worked for the licking! But not for the nose picking. Yesterday I counted all the times I saw her with her finger up there and gave up after like 20 times. At this point it almost seems like it's progressed to the point where she doesn't realize she's doing it anymore, and is doing it constantly as a result. She's also started actively picking it, and I've caught her wiping snot on things a few times. We had a talk about that and now she will at least ask for a Kleenex, but man I would rather her not do this at all. Any tips for getting rid of this habit? 
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2015 18:08
|
|
|
I thought after we removed the crib rail we'd be OK, but now Arthur like to climb onto the rocking chair, grab the side crib rail, flip over the loving thing and land on his rear end on the mattress, then look over and shout "I did it!" Buying a twin bed this weekend.
|
|
#
?
Feb 19, 2015 18:27
|
|
|
greatn posted:I thought after we removed the crib rail we'd be OK, but now Arthur like to climb onto the rocking chair, grab the side crib rail, flip over the loving thing and land on his rear end on the mattress, then look over and shout "I did it!" That's amazing and adorable. Quick question for you guys. My boy is nearly 5 months old and I've gotten to thinking that his sleeping pattern is kinda wonky. He's real easy to get to bed at night, and will be asleep by 8 or 9 at the latest. My wife and I are both full time students so we have weird hours and like to stay up late and sleep in a bit. So some nights we will go to bed at 1 or 2 and sleep until 10 the next morning. Usually we wake him up when we go to bed and give him a bottle because if we don't he will easily sleep 10-12 hours without eating. He falls asleep 10 minutes after that bottle and then he sleeps until 6ish, gets fed, and then if we let him he will fall asleep again and then sleep until 10ish. So all in all around 14 hours consecutive sleep at night. During the day he takes 2 or 3 naps but they are 1 hour long maximum, usually around 30-45mins instead. He gets really fussy and screams bloody murder when it's time for a nap, and it's really difficult to get him to sleep unless we dump him in the stroller and go for a walk. How much did your kids sleep at this age? I feel that 14 hours a night might be what's causing him to be so difficult at nap times, and it's really draining to deal with an inconsolable baby 3 times a day because he just won't take a nap.
|
|
#
?
Feb 20, 2015 10:00
|
|
|
His Divine Shadow posted:Ugh something scary happened last night, David fell and hit his head on the floor when playing with his brother and he just seized up and didn't scream or breathe for 10 seconds before crying, held his hands straight out in front of himself too. I thought it was the fencing position or something like what happens with a concussion but thats only one arm. And when I checked his pupils they both reacted to light and focused in unison and his eyes tracked properly and he acted fine afterwards so it wasn't a concussion atleast. Yep, my 18-month-old daughter did this every time she hurt herself, had to get a shot, etc. from when she was 6 months old or so. She's finally starting to do it less. It really is scary-looking. She's done it in front of her doctor several times, and she doesn't think it's anything to worry about-- just a habit that some kids get into when they're hurt and surprised. A nurse suggested blowing in the baby's face to shock her out of it, but that doesn't seem to work much for us.
|
|
#
?
Feb 20, 2015 14:59
|
|
|
So, my 20 month old only wants mum, i.e. me, when she's distressed, tired, sick, mad, or otherwise upset in any way, shape or form. She's been sick a lot these last couple of weeks, and since I'm a student and my husband works full time and in addition has been travelling for work a lot lately, she's had a lot of experience with me being the one to stay at home with her when she's sick, comfort her and tuck her in at night. Now he's back and she's better, but she still only wants mum. Thus I turn to you, wise people with older children - do we just indulge her as far as it's possible, and wait for this particular mummy-phase to pass on it's own, or do we push dad, even when she's wailing for mum? It's particularly bad at bedtime, and we had a little argument earlier because my husband insisted on putting her to bed because he thinks that if she keeps getting mum every time she wants, she'll grow used to it and keep demanding just mum, but I figure it's just a phase, and I'd much rather just do the putting to bed with a minimum of frustration all around.
|
|
#
?
Feb 20, 2015 18:31
|
|
|
Werner-Boogle posted:That's amazing and adorable. That sounds normal for baby sleep to me. Better than normal, actually. My now 6.5 month old would only nap 45 minutes 2-3 times a day (with rare random 1.5-2 hour naps) and was sleeping way less than that at night (9-10 hours) and waking to be fed. She also doesn't go down easily to sleep, so... Yeah, you're doing well. Does he actually need 3 naps a day? Is he inconsolably tired or inconsolably not tired?
|
|
#
?
Feb 20, 2015 18:34
|
|
|
Sockmuppet posted:So, my 20 month old only wants mum, i.e. me, when she's distressed, tired, sick, mad, or otherwise upset in any way, shape or form. She's been sick a lot these last couple of weeks, and since I'm a student and my husband works full time and in addition has been travelling for work a lot lately, she's had a lot of experience with me being the one to stay at home with her when she's sick, comfort her and tuck her in at night. Now he's back and she's better, but she still only wants mum. Thus I turn to you, wise people with older children - do we just indulge her as far as it's possible, and wait for this particular mummy-phase to pass on it's own, or do we push dad, even when she's wailing for mum? It's particularly bad at bedtime, and we had a little argument earlier because my husband insisted on putting her to bed because he thinks that if she keeps getting mum every time she wants, she'll grow used to it and keep demanding just mum, but I figure it's just a phase, and I'd much rather just do the putting to bed with a minimum of frustration all around. We've just been riding the phases out. Dad will be in favour for a couple weeks, then he only wants me for a couple weeks etc etc. He's going to be 2 in April and this has been going on since he was like 9 months old I think. Kids are weird.
|
|
#
?
Feb 20, 2015 19:47
|
|
|
Sockmuppet posted:So, my 20 month old only wants mum, i.e. me, when she's distressed, tired, sick, mad, or otherwise upset in any way, shape or form. She's been sick a lot these last couple of weeks, and since I'm a student and my husband works full time and in addition has been travelling for work a lot lately, she's had a lot of experience with me being the one to stay at home with her when she's sick, comfort her and tuck her in at night. Now he's back and she's better, but she still only wants mum. Thus I turn to you, wise people with older children - do we just indulge her as far as it's possible, and wait for this particular mummy-phase to pass on it's own, or do we push dad, even when she's wailing for mum? It's particularly bad at bedtime, and we had a little argument earlier because my husband insisted on putting her to bed because he thinks that if she keeps getting mum every time she wants, she'll grow used to it and keep demanding just mum, but I figure it's just a phase, and I'd much rather just do the putting to bed with a minimum of frustration all around. It's a phase. Give it a while and it'll be all about Dad to the point where your feelings are hurt because you're never wanted. Then it will switch again. We just went with it because there wasn't any point in making everyone miserable with 30 extra minutes of screaming about bed/bath/whatever. It didn't break him, he's fine and happy and enjoys doing things with either or both parents, although I admit he prefers daddy to handle the bathing and to have mommy be the one who sings (but then I've heard my husband sing, I can't blame him for that one. And frankly Daddy seems to make bathing more fun than I do, I just don't really seem to have the knack for making it all fun and games).
|
|
#
?
Feb 20, 2015 20:24
|
|
|
Avalinka posted:That sounds normal for baby sleep to me. Better than normal, actually. My now 6.5 month old would only nap 45 minutes 2-3 times a day (with rare random 1.5-2 hour naps) and was sleeping way less than that at night (9-10 hours) and waking to be fed. She also doesn't go down easily to sleep, so... Yeah, you're doing well. Does he actually need 3 naps a day? Is he inconsolably tired or inconsolably not tired? I feel that his fussiness is because he's tired. He rubs his eyes and won't be distracted by toys or songs or anything else, and if you ride it out and walk around with him for a while he will eventually go to sleep. But I'm happy that you don't see an issue with the long night sleep, I know we're incredibly lucky in that department. Hardly had any missed sleep in the 5 months we've had him.
|
|
#
?
Feb 20, 2015 20:37
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 4, 2024 13:10 |
|
|
Fionnoula posted:he prefers daddy to handle the bathing and to have mommy be the one who sings (but then I've heard my husband sing, I can't blame him for that one. And frankly Daddy seems to make bathing more fun than I do, I just don't really seem to have the knack for making it all fun and games). Haha, same goes for us, she loves bath time with dad! Except for these last couple of weeks... I'm glad the concencus is on this being a phase, because that's what I think as well. We've had arguments like this ever since she was little, my husband has always been worried in general about giving her bad habits and ruining good ones, to the point where he tonight insisted on bathing and tucking in a furious toddler screaming for "mamma! no pappa, mamma! mamma!". And I totally get that he feels bad that first he hardly sees her for several days, and when he finally is at home, she just shouts for me, but I'll try to reassure him that it'll pass without us forcing the issue like that. Luckily she's an equal opportunist when it comes to fun and games and reading and cuddling, so he gets lots of attention during the day, it's just when she's upset or tired that she defaults to "mamma! mamma!" Also Werner-Boogle - enjoy your night-sleeping baby, it sounds awesome As for the naps during the day - my daughter was very hard to put down for naps as well, despite being obviously tired. She only wanted to nap outside, in her pram, while it was moving, so I basically had to go for hour-long walks twice a day for several months. And she rarely slept more than an hour, and frequently less. When it comes to baby sleep, they're all different - some take several short naps, some take fewer but longer naps, some need the stars and planets to align for them to deign to fall asleep, and a rare few take several long naps wherever you put them down (I've known exactly one of those. So jealous!). Keep trying to find ways to make naps more practical for you, I eventually got her to accept sleeping outside in her pram BUT NOT MOVING, which was amazing, since I could just park her outside the house and get stuff done inside. Good luck
|
|
#
?
Feb 20, 2015 20:56
|
|