Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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Wootman: Sep 6, 2014; by XyloJW

in general its better for devices to be less restricted, then restricted. i'm sorry this makes u mad

# ? Feb 17, 2015 04:34

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# ? May 18, 2024 20:36

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

Wootman posted:

in general its better for devices to be less restricted, then restricted. i'm sorry this makes u mad

so why aren't you using cyanogen?

# ? Feb 17, 2015 05:01

Juul-Whip: Mar 10, 2008

muhh such restrictions. i can't do anything with this restricted device. making phone calls, texting my friends and browsing web pages are virtually impossible to do with all these restrictions. ugh how i long for freedom

# ? Feb 17, 2015 05:03

Wootman: Sep 6, 2014; by XyloJW

carry on then posted:

so why aren't you using cyanogen?

device doesn't support it, but i rooted it.

THC posted:

muhh such restrictions. i can't do anything with this restricted device. making phone calls, texting my friends and browsing web pages are virtually impossible to do with all these restrictions. ugh how i long for freedom

get a blackberry if thats all u use it for

# ? Feb 17, 2015 05:05

Juul-Whip: Mar 10, 2008

why would I do that? iphones are much better at those things than blackberries

# ? Feb 17, 2015 05:06

Wootman: Sep 6, 2014; by XyloJW

blackberries are better

# ? Feb 17, 2015 05:06

Wootman: Sep 6, 2014; by XyloJW

i cant even say that with a straight face gently caress blackberries

# ? Feb 17, 2015 05:07

PleasureKevin: Jan 2, 2011

the worst poster is 32MB of ESRAM

and the best poster is pram.

# ? Feb 17, 2015 07:53

Wootman: Sep 6, 2014; by XyloJW

the worst poster is you tbh.

# ? Feb 17, 2015 08:29

Wootman: Sep 6, 2014; by XyloJW

both 32mb and pram are my niggas.

# ? Feb 17, 2015 08:29

taco_fox: Dec 14, 2005

# ? Feb 17, 2015 08:32

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

PleasureKevin posted:

the worst poster is 32MB of ESRAM

and the best poster is pram.

ur brother killed himself and u used the life insurance money to buy a macbook air. the mac is piss trash garbage and barely worked out of the box but this computer is your brother, dammit. it is your brother and you will love it.

# ? Feb 17, 2015 18:14

Phoenixan: Jan 16, 2010; Just Keep Cool-idge

Wootman posted:

device doesn't support it, but i rooted it.

get a blackberry if thats all u use it for

rooting a telephone

# ? Feb 17, 2015 18:27

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

ur brother killed himself and u used the life insurance money to buy a macbook air. the mac is piss trash garbage and barely worked out of the box but this computer is your brother, dammit. it is your brother and you will love it.

wat

# ? Feb 17, 2015 18:50

Dodoman: Feb 26, 2009; A moment of laxity
A lifetime of regret; Lipstick Apathy

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

ur brother killed himself and u used the life insurance money to buy a macbook air. the mac is piss trash garbage and barely worked out of the box but this computer is your brother, dammit. it is your brother and you will love it.

Captain Foo posted:

wat

# ? Feb 17, 2015 19:32

Metrication: Dec 12, 2010; Raskin had one problem: Jobs regarded him as an insufferable theorist or, to use Jobs's own more precise terminology, "a shithead who sucks".

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

ur brother killed himself and u used the life insurance money to buy a macbook air. the mac is piss trash garbage and barely worked out of the box but this computer is your brother, dammit. it is your brother and you will love it.

are you alright mate? you seem very upset

# ? Feb 17, 2015 20:51

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

i was the brother

# ? Feb 17, 2015 20:55

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

i found the best cellphone in the world:

http://www.banggood.com/AIEK-M5-4_8mm-Ultra-Thin-Card-Mini-Pocket-Mobile-Phone-p-936891.html

feature list:
Basic description
Model Number AIEK M5
Brand Name AlEK
Display Size 1.0 inch
Product weight 28g (include battery)
Camera Type NO Camera
Battery Type Not Detachable
Operation System No Smartphone
ROM <2G
RAM 128M
CPU Manufacturer MTK
Band Mode 1SIM/Single-Band
Talk Time 4-6 hours
SIM Card Quantity Single Micro SIM Card
Screen LCD Type TFT
Touch Screen Type Not Touch Screen
Display Resolution 480X320
Cellular GSM
CPU Single Core
Design Bar
Memory 128MB
Screen color monochrome
Screen Size 1.0 inch LED screen
Battery capacity 320mAh
Standby time 72-96 H
Phone book storage 100 SMS
Alarm clock 5 alarm clock,support the alarm clock of shutdown
Calender Support MP3 play
Video Not Support
Data Transfer USB data held 20 transmission,Bluetooth data transmission
Operating system MTK platform
Internet access Not Support
Charging interface Micro USB
GSM band 900/1800 MHZ
Size 85mm x 55mm x 4.5mm
Colors Black,White,Green,Blue,Pink
Thickness Ultra Slim(<9mm)
Languages English,Russian,Vietnamese,indonesian

# ? Feb 17, 2015 20:55

pram: Jun 10, 2001

mikkkro$haft winblow$

# ? Feb 18, 2015 02:05

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

windows is a hot mess of poop from a butt, but any drive by malware you're getting these days is thanks to the morons at oracle and adobe. most of those CVEs apply to linux and osx too, but nobody's bothering to exploit them

unless the user has done something fantastically stupid whatever they get is only running with user privs and can be scrubbed easily. if they've gone and disabled security or given it access it's no different then a mac user typing in their password when prompted and getting owned by a fake flash update

# ? Feb 18, 2015 04:20

penguinwarfare: Dec 19, 2005; Sir Lord Master In Command

as a professional lurker I'm usually okay suffering bad attempts to rock the YosBoat but wootman there are definitely no woots to be had with any of those posts. maybe if you ask around you can find a mentor to help you better define your posting/trolling gimmick I'm sure folks would be glad to help it's a just so sad to see your efforts go to waste God bless and happy posting namaste one love truncheon boxcar rabbit rainbowparade

# ? Feb 18, 2015 17:02

PleasureKevin: Jan 2, 2011

please give pagancow his avatar back on your way out

# ? Feb 18, 2015 17:15

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

yospos needs a thurott level windows gimmick. wootman is no paul thurott though

# ? Feb 18, 2015 17:38

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

infernal machines posted:

yospos needs a thurott level windows gimmick. wootman is no paul thurott though

sickest burn I've ever seen in the 'pos

# ? Feb 18, 2015 17:47

univbee: Jun 3, 2004

got my 70-410 exam tomorrow. my head is way too full of microsoft insanity and i don't like it one bit

# ? Feb 18, 2015 18:27

Hugh G. Rectum: Mar 1, 2011

univbee posted:

got my 70-410 exam tomorrow. my head is way too full of microsoft insanity and i don't like it one bit

quick how many backronyms for mcse do you know

# ? Feb 18, 2015 18:52

univbee: Jun 3, 2004

Sudo Echo posted:

quick how many backronyms for mcse do you know

My Cock Seems Engorged
Mr. Cook, Steve, Esquire
Mediocre Certification Standards Enforcement

...that's all

# ? Feb 18, 2015 18:54

Beeftweeter: Jun 28, 2005; OFFICIAL #1 GNOME FAN

univbee posted:

My Cock Seems Engorged
Mr. Cook, Steve, Esquire
Mediocre Certification Standards Enforcement

...that's all

Mort Craves Salty Eats

# ? Feb 18, 2015 18:59

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

univbee posted:

My Cock Seems Engorged
Mr. Cook, Steve, Esquire
Mediocre Certification Standards Enforcement

...that's all

microsoft certified suicide engineer

but i've made that joke before

penguinwarfare posted:

as a professional lurker I'm usually okay suffering bad attempts to rock the YosBoat but wootman there are definitely no woots to be had with any of those posts. maybe if you ask around you can find a mentor to help you better define your posting/trolling gimmick I'm sure folks would be glad to help it's a just so sad to see your efforts go to waste God bless and happy posting namaste one love truncheon boxcar rabbit rainbowparade

you're all right kid

# ? Feb 18, 2015 19:30

univbee: Jun 3, 2004

Captain Foo posted:

microsoft certified suicide engineer

but i've made that joke before

i remember

it was excellently timed

# ? Feb 18, 2015 19:31

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

penguinwarfare posted:

as a professional lurker I'm usually okay suffering bad attempts to rock the YosBoat but wootman there are definitely no woots to be had with any of those posts. maybe if you ask around you can find a mentor to help you better define your posting/trolling gimmick I'm sure folks would be glad to help it's a just so sad to see your efforts go to waste God bless and happy posting namaste one love truncheon boxcar rabbit rainbowparade

post post post

# ? Feb 18, 2015 19:33

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

penguinwarfare posted:

as a professional lurker I'm usually okay suffering bad attempts to rock the YosBoat but wootman there are definitely no woots to be had with any of those posts. maybe if you ask around you can find a mentor to help you better define your posting/trolling gimmick I'm sure folks would be glad to help it's a just so sad to see your efforts go to waste God bless and happy posting namaste one love truncheon boxcar rabbit rainbowparade

you forgot yospos bitch spelled wrong

yospos bithc

# ? Feb 18, 2015 19:42

suck my woke dick: Oct 10, 2012; I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

carry on then posted:

yopsos bithc

# ? Feb 19, 2015 00:06

minivanmegafun: Jul 27, 2004

Microsoft certified solitaire expert

# ? Feb 19, 2015 00:15

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

yospos bithc

# ? Feb 19, 2015 00:26

ahmeni: May 1, 2005; It's one continuous form where hardware and software function in perfect unison, creating a new generation of iPhone that's better by any measure.; Grimey Drawer

kwinkles posted:

yospos bithc

beep boop

# ? Feb 19, 2015 00:53

ahmeni: May 1, 2005; It's one continuous form where hardware and software function in perfect unison, creating a new generation of iPhone that's better by any measure.; Grimey Drawer

penguinwarfare posted:

as a professional lurker I'm usually okay suffering bad attempts to rock the YosBoat but wootman there are definitely no woots to be had with any of those posts. maybe if you ask around you can find a mentor to help you better define your posting/trolling gimmick I'm sure folks would be glad to help it's a just so sad to see your efforts go to waste God bless and happy posting namaste one love truncheon boxcar rabbit rainbowparade

Nice!

# ? Feb 19, 2015 00:54

Scott Forstall: Aug 16, 2003; MMM THAT FAUX LEATHER

Paul is into full-on hugbox territory now

Paul-chan posted:

Yes, I Still Love Windows Phone

While I had been meaning to write up something about the dramatic differences between the original vision for Windows Phone and its implementation today several years later, there�s an equally important story to tell. And that�s why I still feel that Windows Phone is still the superior smart phone choice and will remain so into the Windows 10 generation.

I didn�t add this information to Five Years Later, a Full-On Retreat from What Made Windows Phone Special for a number of reasons, but the most obvious one is length: That article was already getting unwieldy and I actually removed a number of references to how things had actually gotten better over the years as well. Some misunderstood this to mean that I was unhappy by how Windows Phone had changed.

Looking over that article and my original notes from many meetings and events throughout early 2010, a few key Windows Phone themes emerge. And the most important one is actually as true today as it ever was: that Windows Phone wasn�t designed to be different from iPhone (primarily, but let�s add Android to this conversation today for obvious reasons as well) but rather to be better that iPhone. That is, Microsoft identified what it was that people really liked about iPhone�its consumer focus, its multi-touch user interface, and its apps�and sought to ensure that Windows Phone included that functionality. But it also identified key areas in which the iPhone fell short�subjectively�and sought to improve matters in Windows Phone.

I identified a number of those iPhone shortfalls�and the resulting differentiators in Windows Phone�in Five Years Later, a Full-On Retreat from What Made Windows Phone Special. And as that article demonstrates, not all of those ideas�well-intentioned and user-focused as they were�panned out in real world use. For a variety of reasons. But if you look at that situation from a high level, you can also see how Microsoft adapted to the perceived needs of users over the course of subsequent Windows Phone OS releases. And in that adapting, it didn�t just step back from Windows Phone differentiators. It also adopted key Android and iPhone features that users demanded, wanted or needed.

There are a lot of examples of that in Windows Phone today. A task view interface that can be used to close running apps. The Action Center notification interface with quick views. Folders. A growing adoption of �hamburger menu�-based slide-in panes instead of older and native Windows Phone UIs like pivots, panoramas and app menus. If you�ve been following along, you know the drill.

Indeed, Windows Phone fans can and should debate the merits of these changes, but the underlying rationale is sound: Microsoft needs to address the needs of its users, of course, but also the needs of its content and ecosystem partners, its wireless carriers, its hardware device makers, and its developers. With that in mind, let me provide a real world example.

In the initial shipping version of Windows Phone, Facebook functionality was integrated into the OS, and while Microsoft commissioned a standalone Facebook app�which was originally created by a third party company�the point of Windows Phone, originally, was that apps didn�t matter. So you could post to Facebook from the Me tile, the People hub, or the Pictures hub, and you could see what your friends were doing from these interfaces as well.

To Facebook, which is an important partner and a powerful brand in its own right, Microsoft�s integration did nothing to promote its brand at all: those interfaces were all very generic and worked similarly for other services. And when you think about it, the important piece of the puzzle here is that Facebook is on Windows Phone. That is, Facebook can help Windows Phone succeed, while Windows Phone doesn�t do anything to help Facebook to succeed. So Facebook eventually demanded that OS integration occur through its apps�as on other platforms�and Microsoft of course complied.

Some users don�t like this, but look at it this way: when you bake functionality into the OS, it�s really hard to update it. So while Facebook�the service�was racing forward with new features, the integrated Facebook functionality in Windows Phone was stuck in the past. For example, you could check yourself in with the integration, but not other people. It just never kept up-to-date.

But Facebook didn�t just demand standalone apps. It demanded that its Facebook apps look and work consistently on Windows Phone as they do on Android and iOS. And of course Microsoft acquiesced, as the alternative is Facebook leaving the platform. So over time, the Facebook apps lost more and more of the Metro look and feel, and today they look and work much as they do elsewhere. (OK, they�re not as good. Let�s move on.)

Is this a �loss� for Windows Phone users? No. As I argued on �Windows Weekly� at the time, these changes may not sit well with some fans, but the truth is that it�s much more important for Facebook to be on Windows Phone than to demand some arbitrary design language. And as Apple, Microsoft and others have discovered over the years, users are surprisingly adept at adapting to different user interfaces. A world in which all apps look the same�similar toolbars in Office of all, for example, or the Metro UI guidelines in Windows Phone more recently�is not necessary.

So that�s a lot of explanation, and maybe you can see why this part of the discussion didn�t make it into that original article. It�s just a big topic � more stuff. But with all that in mind, I still love Windows Phone. Why?

It�s simple. It�s just more personal.

As many guessed in reading Five Years Later, a Full-On Retreat from What Made Windows Phone Special, some of the core Windows Phone advantages persist to this day and have in fact been expanded in key ways. Live tiles, which can be sized and placed in ways that make your phone truly personalized, are still much better than the bone-dead �grid of icons� in iOS/iPhone and more consistent and better than the limited set of widgets you can configure in Android.

This means a few things. It means I can see the weather without launching an app. It means that apps I want info from�MSN News, Facebook, Photos, Calendar�can be configured with large, expressive tiles so I can see what�s going on. And those that are less expressive�Phone, Messaging, IE�can have tiny tiles. On iOS or Android, all app icons are the same size, and are still less expressive than the smallest Windows Phone tiles. They�re dead, not alive.

My Start screen

And while Microsoft hasn�t made the lock screen much more interactive over the years�heck, even the Windows Mobile 6.5 lock screen was better in this regard�the Glance screen and double-tap to wake that most Windows Phone users can access certainly make up for that.

My lock screen

I also love �pocket to picture,� a key differentiator in the initial Windows Phone release, as much today on modern Lumias�like the 930, 1520 or 830�as I did in 2010. And I especially love that high-end Lumias like the 1020, 1520, Icon and 930�have the very best cameras in the smart phone world�sorry, iPhone 6�while even affordable devices like the Lumia 735 and 830 have surprisingly good cameras for their prices.

I love that you can buy a solid Windows Phone handset like the Lumia 520, 635, or similar for under $100 and use it as a second device, as a free offline GPS, media player, or game machine. Or that you can give it to a child and not worry about expensive repair bills or phones. (You can buy two Lumia 635s today for the same price as an on-warranty iPhone 6 screen repair.) This is computing for the rest of us.

I love the integration with the Microsoft services I both care about and use�Office, OneDrive, Outlook.com and Office 365, Xbox and Xbox Live, Xbox Music, Xbox Video, Bing, and more�plus the unique apps like Office Lens that really put this platform over the top. Yes, many Microsoft apps are available on other platforms, but that doesn�t diminish the first-class experience we get on Windows Phone, with advantages like expressive live tiles�look, the latest news from MSN News without opening the app!�and other integration bits.

Some will argue that this is a short list, that you could simply list the many iPhone-exclusive apps as reason enough to stick with the Apple ecosystem. Sure, to each his own. I don�t personally care about those apps on my phone�they are a bigger deal to me on tablets, though�but I would respond that both Apple/iOS and Google/Android have important soul-crushing issues that make them less interesting to me. And Windows Phone is so fast, so efficient, and so customizable and I just find iPhone and Android handsets to be almost quaint in their deficiencies. Now that Apple is done copying the design language from Windows Phone, maybe it can copy live tiles next.

I realize that to many people, the app is king and that for those people a smart phone is nothing more than a giant grid of stuff they can do. I get that, and I don�t discount it or the people who feel that way. But I�m busy. I want to get in and out, get things done, and move on. I�m not staring at my screen all day like a zombie, but I can say that when I do look at my Windows Phone screen�a Lumia 930�I smile. I love this freaking thing.

And I don�t love it �still� or �despite of� whatever. I just love it. I understand the changes that have occurred, and why, and I most do agree with them. Many of those differentiators from the original Windows Phone release that were canceled or changed over time simply weren�t good ideas, even though they may have seemed to be so at the time. Real world experience should always change your perception of things, and Windows Phone has had to adapt to the times. That�s absolutely fine.

Looking ahead, the big differentiator Microsoft is pushing at developers and other partners is the universal app platform. For consumers and other users, it�s the integration with Microsoft�s platforms, a similar and consistent user experience, and content and settings sync. These are good stories, though they don�t really speak to what it is I love about Windows Phone. That�s already there. It never left.

Ultimately, my passion for this platform is equal parts emotional�the part that�s hard to describe�and logical. The personalization capabilities still put Windows Phone over the top, and even though I can move icons and folders around on an iPhone or Android home screen, what I�m ultimately looking at there is just another smart phone home screen. When I pick up my Windows Phone, I�m looking at my Windows Phone. There is no confusing it with anyone else�s. I love that. I love that Microsoft got this piece right and has continued to get it right while both Android and iOS move forward blissfully unaware of how important this is.

For me, there is Windows Phone and then there is everything else. And everything else is lacking. That�s why I know Windows Phone is special. I miss it when I have to use another device, no matter how nice it is. By the way, that includes Windows 8: imagine how excellent that OS would have been if Microsoft had actually based it on Windows Phone. It looks like they�re about to fix that problem with Windows 10. And guess what? I couldn�t be happier.

I love Windows Phone.

# ? Feb 19, 2015 01:14

computer parts: Nov 18, 2010; PLEASE CLAP

I am immediately reminded of the ending of 1984

# ? Feb 19, 2015 01:18

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 18, 2024 20:36

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

wrap it up microsoft

winpho is poo poo, thurott confims

# ? Feb 19, 2015 01:19

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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