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Andy snuck some language into his own legal disclaimer - http://i.imgur.com/bffBsGx.jpg e: Full transcript taken from Reddit - From the law offices of Fwar, Dips, Winshares, Gritt, Nelsson, Woba, Eraplus, Zswing, Rângé-Factor, Heart, Babip, Pecota, Vorp, & Eckstein, LLC: LEGAL DISCLAIMER This document (the “Disclaimer”) is binding in perpetuity. It ensures that Channel 46 (the “Company”) and its parent company, Sweetums Corp., as well as Sweetums Corp’s parent company, Academi, cannot be held legally responsible for any views or actions made by/on “Johnny Karate Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show” (the “Show”). The actions of or opinions expressed by, Johnny Karate a.k.a. Burt Macklin a.k.a. Jonathan Karate a.k.a. Andy Dwyer (the “Host”) or his wife, Mrs. Karate a.k.a. Janet Snakehole a.k.a. Judy Hitler a.k.a. April Ludgate-Dwyer (the “Producer”) do not necessarily represent those of the Company. This statement also applies to any and all alter egos or characters generated now, or in the future, by either the Host or the Producer, as well as their cast members, current or future, and their dog Champion a.k.a. Dog World Champion a.k.a. The Three-Legged Wonder Dog a.k.a. Tripod Jones (the “Dog”). This further acknowledges that the Company has on numerous occasions under the threat of termination and/or loss of privileges relating to the Host’s show instructed the Host and the Producer not to engage in any of the following activities: -Attempting to ingest or encouraging others to ingest non-edible products, including but not limited to: glue, wood, staples, staplers, toys, wool socks, cotton socks, polyester socks, cotton/polyester blend socks, scientific equipment and any form of US currency, including but not limited to: pennies, nickels, quarters, Susan B. Anthony dollars, Sacagawea dollars, or paper bills. -Detonation of any sort of explosive device, or non-explosive device that is rendered explosive by the taping or gluing of said device to an explosive device. -Covering the studio property or any other property in any substance, including but not limited to: glitter, tar, glittery tar, jam, gel, jelly, ice, slush, slime, sludge, slurry, ooze, gunk, glop, goop, foam, froth, muck, or ice cream. -Using the Company’s telephone for any “crank call” segments to any citizens, including but not limited to: current or former government officials, former classmates, former co-workers, local restaurants, “Lawrence,” “Greg Pikitis,” or any members of the 2001-2017 New England Patriots. -Claiming to be an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and/or the Central Intelligence Agency and/or the Coast Guard and/or the United States Treasury Department and/or “Special Ops” and/or “Special Ox” [sic] in order to gain access to government or law enforcement buildings. -Pressing on the Host’s own eyes with Host’s own thumbs in order to “see cool stuff floating around in there.” -Attempting to break any National or International record for any kind of competitive eating, including but not limited to: pies, hot dogs, cherries, bananas, sunflower seeds, butternut squash, clam chowder, milk, pinto beans, burritos, sweet-n-sour chicken, Paunch Burger Dinner-for-Breakfast Burger Combos, Paunch Burger Breakfast-for-Dinner Burger Combos, Paunch Burger Breakfast-for-Dinner Pancake Combos, Paunch Burger Lunch-for-Dinner Sandwich Combos, or Paunch Burger Everything-for-Dinner Burrito-Pancake-Taco-Teriyaki-Chicken-Waffle-Nacho-Penne-Arrabiata-Steak Combo Supreme. Specific Note on Liability of “Loose Animal in the Studio” Segment (the “Segment”) By reading this document, you (the “Viewer”) or your legal guardian, forgo the right to seek any legal action regarding any possible contact with a loose or lost animal (the “Animal”) in the Segment. Viewers are encourages not to seek out or interact with the Loose Animal, and all claims to the contrary made by the Host or Producer are false. No animals were harmed in the making of the Segment; if they were, it was not the intention of the Show, Host, Company, or Producer, nor can those parties be held responsible for the actions of the aforementioned animals. Once the Viewer has entered Studio 46, the Company is not liable for the actions, noises, behaviors, or attacks of any Loose Animal, including but not limited to: -Barn Owl -Red Claw Scorpion -Mexican Plateau Horned Lizard -Tasmanian Pygmy Possum -Green Tree Python -Boll Weevil -Boa Constrictor -Hagfish -Ecuadorian Pudu -Fire-Throated Anteater -Albino Wolverine -Sucker-Footed Bat -Egyptian Tortoise -Lithuanian “Garbage Cat” -Hawaiian Gharial -Brazilian Thunder Panda Special Addition to Note on Liability of “Loose Animal in the Studio” Segment (the “Segment”) The conditions and limits on liability apply to all segments of “April’s Animal Corner,” regardless of whether the segment eventually leads to aforementioned Segment (“Loose Animal in the Studio”). On such occasions when “April’s Animal Corner” proceeds as planned, and the animal in question remains safely in the cage or container in which it was transported, the Company hey it’s me Andy I had a dumb meeting with our dumb lawyer who was yelling at me for something I don’t even know what it was he’s so funny when he yells he looks like Beaker from the Muppets I’m in his office right now he’s on a phone call so I opened his document and clicked in the middle of this paragraph and started typing haha he’s so dumb he’ll probably never even see this I can type whatever I wan Colts rule Colts rule Johnny Karate forever Reggie Wayne forever Greg Pikitis sucks ok he’s coming back I love you April bye! retains the right to apply these limited liability conditions to the Segment as well as all other segments involving animals, now or in the future.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 05:24 |
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# ? Jun 3, 2024 18:28 |
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Spoonsy posted:Andy snuck some language into his own legal disclaimer - http://i.imgur.com/bffBsGx.jpg
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 05:33 |
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Lithuanian “Garbage Cat”
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 05:35 |
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Man I am really going to miss this show, this weeks episodes were amazing.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 06:00 |
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Every episode of this season plays like a series finale
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 06:04 |
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I cant believe they actually got him
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 06:05 |
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One more week. Hopefully it will be better than this week because those two episodes did nothing for me. They just won't let Gary retire! He should be smoking his cigars and reading his box of mystery novels!
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 06:18 |
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Are you loving serious do you even like/watch this show how did all of that do nothing for you?
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 06:27 |
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Honestly, I don't think Tom works as a super-successful entrepreneur. I'd have liked to get the impression his restaurant was doing pretty well but he really had to work for it, not that in 5 years he suddenly had tons of locations and could (actually) afford nonstop luxury.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 06:32 |
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The Johnny Karate episode was too Dan Harmon-y for me at first, but it won me over. The second was pretty great. Though you can add me to the list of people who think they've shortchanged Tom. I wonder if it's an Aziz problem.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 07:52 |
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They had an entire episode this season showing how successful Tom is now and he got engaged this episode. It's likely Aziz signed on for limited time this season and they did the best they could in that time.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 07:55 |
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Spoonsy posted:Andy snuck some language into his own legal disclaimer - http://i.imgur.com/bffBsGx.jpg Academi merged with Sweetums because of course they would.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 07:57 |
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Guys, it's just "Good night, you animal."
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 08:33 |
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If Garry signed the papers, who notarized them?
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 09:18 |
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That was an amazing episode. Gerry is going to be the best mayor :3
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 09:32 |
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That may have been the worst hour of television to ever air.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 09:36 |
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Super Deuce posted:I am nourished by your hatred!
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 10:06 |
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E the Shaggy posted:WHERE THE HELL IS MOUSTACHE?? You guys should be watching Justified
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 10:50 |
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Wamapoke Casino - Slowly taking back our money from white people, one quarter at a time.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 11:41 |
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Super Deuce posted:That may have been the worst hour of television to ever air. Get the gently caress out of this thread. It was magical because those are our best friends and we will miss them forever.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 12:01 |
Solice Kirsk posted:One more week. Hopefully it will be better than this week because those two episodes did nothing for me. Super Deuce posted:That may have been the worst hour of television to ever air.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 12:13 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:One more week. Hopefully it will be better than this week because those two episodes did nothing for me. Super Deuce posted:That may have been the worst hour of television to ever air. You guys are http://iruntheinternet.com/lulzdump/images/gifs/parks-and-recreation-Jean-Ralphio-the-worst-worst-woooorst-1372637673p.gif
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 12:45 |
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The Jonney Karate final show is really great (Verizon-chipotle-exxon!) I am trying to think if its the best P&R episode ever. The final final is also good, my favorite part is the Roman legeonnaires. Who was stun double guy, was he a cameo?
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 13:08 |
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So wait, was that the last episode or not?
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 13:32 |
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FactsAreUseless posted:So wait, was that the last episode or not? Two final episodes next week.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 14:00 |
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The Johnny Karate episode was fantastic, and not at all ruined by my arachnophobia that caused me to both read the thread ahead for spoilers and meant watching it like a child watches a horror film. Dammit.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 14:15 |
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Super Deuce posted:That may have been the worst hour of television to ever air.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 14:25 |
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For me, the best bit was in the Johnny Karate episode after Ben got knighted. Just the shots of him in the background, staring at himself, like he was beginning to transform into a new being was awesome.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 14:37 |
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Super Deuce posted:That may have been the worst hour of television to ever air. Go sit in the corner and think about how wrong you are.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 14:48 |
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Super Deuce posted:That may have been the worst hour of television to ever air. Get off of Earth.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 15:36 |
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Hitfix just put up a wonderful interview with Michael Schur about the background characters in Parks. http://www.hitfix.com/whats-alan-watching/parks-and-recreation-history-part-1-perd-joan-and-the-other-pawnee-crazies/1
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:05 |
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Davros1 posted:For me, the best bit was in the Johnny Karate episode after Ben got knighted. Just the shots of him in the background, staring at himself, like he was beginning to transform into a new being was awesome. That was actually the only part of the episode that wasn't actively horrible in every way. Ben has been the only good part of this show this season. Andy is too overboard, April isn't grim enough, Gerry is too featured, Donna is incredibly bland (as she always feared), Ron lost it a couple years ago, Tom has been nowhere, and Leslie has always been a horrible character. If this season went completely insane with future jokes it would be way funnier. Right now it's like an extra toe growing out of the side of your foot. The series ended last season. More Ben, less everyone else.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:15 |
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This guy needs a session with Dr. Richard Nygard.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:20 |
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E the Shaggy posted:WHERE THE HELL IS MOUSTACHE?? Blame Justified.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:31 |
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whatever7 posted:The Jonney Karate final show is really great (Verizon-chipotle-exxon!) I am trying to think if its the best P&R episode ever. The best episode will always be Flu Season.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:33 |
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Super Deuce posted:That was actually the only part of the episode that wasn't actively horrible in every way. Ben has been the only good part of this show this season. Andy is too overboard, April isn't grim enough, Gerry is too featured, Donna is incredibly bland (as she always feared), Ron lost it a couple years ago, Tom has been nowhere, and Leslie has always been a horrible character.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:40 |
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"Mayor Larry Gergisch's hot air balloon was shot down over pawnee park (by the park security rangers)... it went down. There were no survivors."
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:47 |
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elwood posted:"Mayor Larry Gergisch's hot air balloon was shot down over pawnee park (by the park security rangers)... it went down. There were no survivors." The reality is Garry farted and it ignited.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:48 |
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I was really hoping that Mayor Gunderson was faking his death at first so that we could have more Bill Murray. Then he would actually die somehow and his real funeral would be the second funeral.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 17:01 |
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# ? Jun 3, 2024 18:28 |
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suddenlyissoon posted:You will no longer be considered "human" by our standards. You are now "sub-human". I have always though that Leslie was the weakest part of the show, though she has gotten better this season.
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# ? Feb 18, 2015 17:01 |