okcupid.txt

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Eyespy: Dec 20, 2004; When I talk about the doomed, the scum, the people who no longer give a shit...When I talk about the filth of the city...I'm talking about you.

SaltLick posted:

wet it up then get murdered by the mafia i suppose

In this context, 'mob' means family. Australia is a strange place. :australia:

# ? Feb 24, 2015 22:31

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# ? May 14, 2024 13:29

Mr Luxury Yacht: Apr 16, 2012

What the hell kind of a city name is Townsville? It sounds like something made up for a cartoon.

# ? Feb 24, 2015 22:48

Blue Raider: Sep 2, 2006

Ninja Pangolin posted:

My self-summary
Welcome to Lady Heather's world of curiosities! On the main stage today is a woman who is unlike any you have ever laid eyes on. She is cut from a cloth all of her own. If you have stumbled here expecting to view the, ever so boring, prissy, pumpkin spice latte drinking, Ugg boot wearing, no carb eating, reality tv watching, top 40 listening, Cosmo reading, kind of girl, you have come to the wrong place. She marches to the beat of a much different drummer.

She has come here to kick rear end and chew bubblegum, and she's all out of bubblegum...

Quirky, sassy, feisty, silly, and a bit of a smart rear end. She's a free thinker and opinionated. An independent woman who doesn't let anything stand in her way.

An elusive female nerd, rarely seen in the wild. She own's $1500 worth of board games and loves to play video games. A regular attendee of the Renaissance Festival. She can often be found perusing her way around local record stores on the hunt for great albums on vinyl. Museums call to her. Her Netflix history is filled with documentaries, Doctor Who, and Star Trek. She attended Convergence 10 years in a row. Former WoW, D&D, and Magic player.. Cheesy, over the top, horror movies, and guys who appreciate them the way she does, are the way to her heart. Nothing makes her quite as happy as a night of ordering a pizza and cuddling on the couch while watching something like "Dead Alive".

But wait there's more! She's so much more than you're average geek. She's teaching herself how to play the guitar. Loves karaoke. She will never turn down going to a bonfire. She loves roller derby and has dreams of becoming a roller girl.

Ok, enough silliness for tonight. I will finish trying to sell myself later, when I have more time. [editorial note: she has answered over 2000 questions] For those of you still reading here's a taste of what I'm looking for from this site...

I'm not here looking for a knight in shining armor, however, I hope to find my dork in tin foil. :P I've been single for over a year and it has given me a lot of time to grow as a person and discover what I really want out of life. I'm looking for someone who knows how to enjoy life and doesn't take it too seriously. Someone I can geek out and be silly with. Someone who will go on random, goofy, adventures with me but will also be ok cuddled up on the couch watching movies or entire seasons of TV shows. I'm hoping to find a partner and an equal, someone I can connect with and build a meaningful, real, relationship with. When I am with someone it is because I want them, not because I need them, and I am looking for the same in return.

I'm also looking for some cool people to expand my social circle. You can never have too many friends.

What I�m doing with my life
Other than being awesome and kicking life's rear end, I'm a paraprofessional. I'm currently in my 12th year of working with special needs students. I spent 8 years working with the developmentally disabled, 2 years working with kids with emotional and behavioral disorders, and I'm starting my 2nd year working in an autism program.

I love my job. I love kids and can't imagine doing anything else. It really is a wonderful thing to know that I am making the little slice of the world I was put on a better place for those around me. In turn they have made that little slice of the world a much better place for me. I have learned so much about life from them. They've taught me how to be a much better person and not take anything for granted.
I�m really good at
Being a smart-rear end, cooking delicious food, retaining useless (yet interesting or entertaining) facts and information, getting sunburned, building Ikea furniture, being a klutz, and laughing at myself.

The first things people usually notice about me
I'm smokin' hot!!! Duh! :P

I have more curves than a Mazda commercial. :P

I have my own sense of style and a pretty big personality, so I tend to stand out from the crowd.

Depending on what I'm wearing, my tattoos. I have 5 of them and plan on getting more. My biggest one takes up almost the entire lower half of my left leg. (I still have another 6 hour session left to do on it. Anyone want to keep me company at the end of March? )

I've been told that I remind people of Garcia from Criminal Minds.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love to read and I'll read just about anything. My favorite genres are horror/suspense, Sci Fi, and fantasy. Stephen King is one of my favorite authors. Some of my favorites include The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, Blaze, and The Talisman. IT and The Stand are next on my list to read. Some other favorites are American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis, The Hunger Games trilogy, Harry Potter series, Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein, Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist, Heart Shaped Box by Joe Hill.

I love movies and especially love watching them with good company. Most of my favorites are either Sci Fi or fantasy, but I'll watch just about anything especially anything quirky or outside of the box. I also love cheesy 80's horror films! They will always have a soft spot in my heart.

Here are a few I would rather not live without. Wrath of Khan (I was lucky enough to see a showing of it in the theater a few summers ago. Absolutely amazing!), Wristcutters: A Love Story, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Goonies, Silence of the Lambs, Princess Bride, Anything by Hayao Miyazaki, They Live, Labyrinth, Gremlins, Lars and the Real Girl, Clue, The Shining, Saved!, Documentaries (Really like Werner Herzog's stuff.), Dead Alive, The Wall, Mrs. Doubtfire, The Apple, Forbidden Zone, Phantom of the Paradise, Street Trash, Night of the Creeps, Brazil, Suspiria, Blue Velvet, American Psycho, Eraserhead, A Clockwork Orange.

TV:
Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, Sherlock, The IT Crowd, Orange is the New Black, Freaks and Geeks, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, American Horror Story, Firefly, Star Trek (TOS and TNG)

Music:
It would take far too long to list everything. I can't really function without music. I listen to a bit of almost everything. Just to give you an idea, here are a few of my staples.

Pink Floyd, Pavlov's Dog, Mumford and Sons, Foo Fighters, Tegan and Sara, Mayer Hawthorne, Genesis (more of the Peter Gabriel era stuff though), Fitz and the Tantrums, Jethro Tull, The Spill Canvas, The Black Keys, Arctic Monkeys, Rise Against, Blink 182, old Green Day

Food:
I'm not very picky. I'll try just about anything. I have yet to have tried Indian food, but I want to.

The six things I could never do without
1. Good conversation/good company
2. Laughing so hard that I snort
3. Spending time with the people I love
4. My kitties
5. The "little things"
6. My guitar
7. Adventure of some kind
8. Cuddling

I know, that's more than six. What can I say? I'm a rebel. :P

I spend a lot of time thinking about
How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, or what I would do for a Klondike Bar. :P

Honestly, my mind never stops. I am constantly thinking about something.
On a typical Friday night I am
Usually I'm just relaxing. Chilling with my cats looking for something ridiculous to watch on Netflix. Learning new songs on my guitar. Having some wine and playing records. Hanging out with friends. Stuff like that.

The most private thing I�m willing to admit
I'm a hopeless, bleeding-heart, romantic.

You should message me if
If you made it through that wall of text without "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden blaring in your head. Or after reading the previous sentence that song got stuck in your head.

I don't know how selectively it says I respond. Don't let that deter you. You wouldn't believe the amount of messages I get that are completely inappropriate or are so riddled with such bad spelling and grammar that I need a decoder ring to decipher them. :P

If you want to go to Ikea and play hide and seek, before or after getting some delicious Swedish meatballs.

If you want go to The Chatterbox and play some board games. Or if you want to get drinks at Psycho Suzi's, Grumpy's, Donny Dirk's, or any other cool place, with an awesome girl. Seriously, I know one. Maybe I could introduce you to her.

If you know how to play cribbage and want to get your butt kicked by a girl.

If anything in my profile interests you don't be afraid to say "Hi". I don't bite... usually.

In all seriousness, DON'T message me if:
~You are looking for a hookup, one night stand, fwb, etc. It's not going to happen.
~You are poly or in any sort of open relationship. Nothing against you, I'm just very monogamous and know that it wouldn't work. I failed the sharing part of kindergarten.
~You are homophobic or believe that being gay is a sin. My best friend is gay and I can't be with someone who can't accept him fully.

I don't know where to begin with this photo...there is too much to describe. But this is me and my best friend. Yes, he is wearing a Star Trek uniform... (Don't worry guys, he's gay. Obviously.)

The obligatory black and white "Why yes, I do play the guitar" photo. :P

There's just too much awesome going on here to put into words. So I won't. It's funnier that way. Taken October 2012. (If you really want to know what's going on you'll just have to message me! Buahahahaha...) :P

***

She also has another album titled "Crazy cat lady."

Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering slamwhale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee.

# ? Feb 24, 2015 22:59

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Cowman posted:

Let's play a game, is this a bot, police sting or legit?

found her by just running an auto clicker on the like button in quickmatch

If it actually is legit (which it likely isn't), a few facts that you can count on about that "group"
1. That woman will never be at any meetings, if she even exists at all.
2. The average age of attendees will be 48+ (and will very likely be overweight and/or balding)
3. The man to woman ratio will be AT LEAST 10-1.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 00:35

Cowman: Feb 14, 2006; Beware the Cow

Choco1980 posted:

If it actually is legit (which it likely isn't), a few facts that you can count on about that "group"
1. That woman will never be at any meetings, if she even exists at all.
2. The average age of attendees will be 48+ (and will very likely be overweight and/or balding)
3. The man to woman ratio will be AT LEAST 10-1.

her account got deleted

# ? Feb 25, 2015 00:40

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Choco1980 posted:

If it actually is legit (which it likely isn't), a few facts that you can count on about that "group"
1. That woman will never be at any meetings, if she even exists at all.
2. The average age of attendees will be 48+ (and will very likely be overweight and/or balding)
3. The man to woman ratio will be AT LEAST 10-1.

You sound like you have experience in these matters.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 00:41

big cummers ONLY: Jul 17, 2005; I made a series of bad investments. Tarantula farm. The bottom fell out of the market.

They usually have decent buffets. Don't forget the secret password. OR-GY.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 00:42

EightBit: Jan 7, 2006; I spent money on this line of text just to make the "Stupid Newbie" go away.

Can you fuckers stop quoting the tl;dr profiles tia

# ? Feb 25, 2015 00:43

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Cowman posted:

Let's play a game, is this a bot, police sting or legit?

found her by just running an auto clicker on the like button in quickmatch

You can tell how short on girls they are by their emphasis on couples, they basically want a guy to bring his hot girlfriend so they can sleep with her because no girl is joining that group by herself. People who refer to sex as play are also universally ugly and creepy.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 00:45

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Blue Raider posted:

generic nerdy fat girl profile

Nothing really all that terrible or funny just a generic fat nerd girl writing too many words

cut that profile in 1/2 and drop 100lbs and she'd be serviceable

# ? Feb 25, 2015 00:46

toggle: Nov 7, 2005

Choco1980 posted:

If it actually is legit (which it likely isn't), a few facts that you can count on about that "group"
1. That woman will never be at any meetings, if she even exists at all.
2. The average age of attendees will be 48+ (and will very likely be overweight and/or balding)
3. The man to woman ratio will be AT LEAST 10-1.

hmm problem? sounds like a party

just make sure you cut those toenails and polish that cockring though

# ? Feb 25, 2015 01:18

George H.W. Cunt: Oct 6, 2010

Choco1980 posted:

If it actually is legit (which it likely isn't), a few facts that you can count on about that "group"
1. That woman will never be at any meetings, if she even exists at all.
2. The average age of attendees will be 48+ (and will very likely be overweight and/or balding)
3. The man to woman ratio will be AT LEAST 10-1.

ah so this is taking place in a gym sauna sounds baller

# ? Feb 25, 2015 01:29

toggle: Nov 7, 2005

love a good orgy. nothing like rubbing sweaty thighs with a fat man while his lazy eyed wife fellates us. dang

# ? Feb 25, 2015 01:34

George H.W. Cunt: Oct 6, 2010

toggle posted:

love a good orgy. nothing like rubbing sweaty thighs with a fat man while his lazy eyed wife fellates us. dang

livin the dream

# ? Feb 25, 2015 01:37

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Think I found my boss on Ok Cupid. Do I ask her on a date?

# ? Feb 25, 2015 03:49

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Fell like I have to do it as a Point of Honour but IDK what to do if she accepts.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 04:00

George H.W. Cunt: Oct 6, 2010

Harald posted:

Fell like I have to do it as a Point of Honour but IDK what to do if she accepts.

bang her and get promoted

you have to be good at the sex so i dunno you might get fired too

# ? Feb 25, 2015 04:02

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

well I'm deffo good at sex.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 04:04

George H.W. Cunt: Oct 6, 2010

congrats on becoming ceo

# ? Feb 25, 2015 04:06

Blue Raider: Sep 2, 2006

the question in the main is why people think theyre the least bit unique. none of these unfortunate specimens are singular in the least

# ? Feb 25, 2015 04:10

Eyespy: Dec 20, 2004; When I talk about the doomed, the scum, the people who no longer give a shit...When I talk about the filth of the city...I'm talking about you.

I'm on a roll with messages from crazies today.

Also from that mythical Townsville (a four hour drive from me). Her message read "sissy!!!
hello sweetie are you into Mistress/slave scene/play?".

And no there's nothing in my profile that would indicate that. 6% match.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 04:16

Blue Raider: Sep 2, 2006

Eyespy posted:

I'm on a roll with messages from crazies today.

Also from that mythical Townsville (a four hour drive from me). Her message read "sissy!!!
hello sweetie are you into Mistress/slave scene/play?".

And no there's nothing in my profile that would indicate that. 6% match.

well answer the broad

# ? Feb 25, 2015 04:19

George H.W. Cunt: Oct 6, 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBwD_xLj_x8

lol

just...lol

# ? Feb 25, 2015 05:11

Jenny Agutter: Mar 18, 2009

Eyespy posted:

I'm on a roll with messages from crazies today.

Also from that mythical Townsville (a four hour drive from me). Her message read "sissy!!!
hello sweetie are you into Mistress/slave scene/play?".

And no there's nothing in my profile that would indicate that. 6% match.

her punctuation game is next level

# ? Feb 25, 2015 05:32

HerStuddMuffin: Aug 10, 2014; YOSPOS

Eyespy posted:

I'm on a roll with messages from crazies today.

Also from that mythical Townsville (a four hour drive from me). Her message read "sissy!!!
hello sweetie are you into Mistress/slave scene/play?".

And no there's nothing in my profile that would indicate that. 6% match.

She's incredibly good at the bdsm thing though. Just the way she tortures punctuation in that post makes me want to beg on my knees for her to stop.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 08:50

Egoist: Aug 19, 2010; Love myself today
Let you go today; Lipstick Apathy

Mr Luxury Yacht posted:

What the hell kind of a city name is Townsville? It sounds like something made up for a cartoon.

http://powerpuff.wikia.com/wiki/Townsville

# ? Feb 25, 2015 09:12

cmndstab: May 20, 2006; Huge Internet Celebrity!

Townsville is kind of like the Tampa, FL of Australia.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 15:13

Paul Zuvella: Dec 7, 2011

Townsville forms the incredibly beautiful tri-city area of Townsville, Cityberg, and Hamletshire

# ? Feb 25, 2015 15:52

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

cmndstab posted:

Townsville is kind of like the Tampa, FL of Australia.

As a resident of tampa I'm not sure if that's a compliment or insult.. ..

# ? Feb 25, 2015 15:53

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

vyst posted:

As a resident of tampa I'm not sure if that's a compliment or insult.. ..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X697nkecF4A

# ? Feb 25, 2015 16:30

Fidel Cuckstro: Jul 2, 2007

vyst posted:

As a resident of tampa I'm not sure if that's a compliment or insult.. ..

Who has ever complimented Tampa?

# ? Feb 25, 2015 16:41

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

SaltLick posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBwD_xLj_x8

lol

just...lol

Damnit. Now I wanna watch the episode. I mean, I know how the endings gonna go.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:32

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

vyst posted:

As a resident of tampa I'm not sure if that's a compliment or insult.. ..

As a resident of tampa you should know very well that something being compared to tampa is a grave insult

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:49

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

vyst posted:

As a resident of tampa I'm not sure if that's a compliment or insult.. ..

Florida is a joke hth

# ? Feb 25, 2015 19:54

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

Slime Bro Helpdesk posted:

Who has ever complimented Tampa?

This is true.

# ? Feb 25, 2015 21:00

Giblet Plus!: Sep 14, 2004

lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACJ7-_G16G0

Giblet Plus! fucked around with this message at 06:01 on Feb 26, 2015

# ? Feb 26, 2015 04:01

Papercut: Aug 24, 2005

Giblet Plus! posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACJ7-_G16G0

Are these prostitutes related to OKCupid somehow?

# ? Feb 26, 2015 04:13

froward: Jun 2, 2014; by Azathoth

Papercut posted:

Are these prostitutes related to OKCupid somehow?

"They tell the men that sex is never part of the deal. This is the golden rule of rinsing: the guys' wallet stays open, but the girls' legs remain closed."
I don't know what this is, but it's not prostitution.

# ? Feb 26, 2015 09:55

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Sorry, that's also prostitution.

# ? Feb 26, 2015 10:07

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# ? May 14, 2024 13:29

chickie nugs for brekkie: May 17, 2010

"Soliciting a Prostitute for Dummies"

chickie nugs for brekkie fucked around with this message at 10:39 on Feb 26, 2015

# ? Feb 26, 2015 10:21

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