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Hopefully not for the sake of saving money.
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Feb 25, 2015 19:31
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| # ? May 15, 2024 11:20 |
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https://www.facebook.com/kolotv/photos/a.113633146502.108793.39225221502/10152544819136503/?type=1quote:According to a study on dating website whatsyourprice.com, men in Reno are the most generous in the nation, shelling out $230 on average for a first date. This is almost three times more than the average date offer of $80. If you're dating these days, what's your take on this? Men in my city are bad with money.
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Feb 25, 2015 19:35
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I know I'm only a student, but what's wrong with just drinking coffee on first date for a couple of euros/dollars even if you're a "proper adult" in your thirties or forties? Guess I'm horrified at even the average of "just" 80. If you had a really all-in search out and went to like 2 dates a week that'd be crazy. Yeah I know 80 bucks is obviously too much but I guess I'm wondering if older people spend more on dates? I don't know I'm not yet old. Or 30. Keisari fucked around with this message at 19:41 on Feb 25, 2015 |
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Feb 25, 2015 19:39
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MS Money used to have a catagory specific for dating expenses and I know it was like a large chunk of the piechart when I was heavily in the dating scene. Whelp.
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Feb 25, 2015 19:41
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It's tempting to go out there and show that you have the money to spend on nice things to impress potential dates. Even if you don't really have the money to spend. I did it!
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Feb 25, 2015 19:48
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I have a $150 budget per month in mint labelled "Dating and Friendship Maintenance" which I think is a very generous amount. I'm 25, for the record, and this section includes the entirety of my bar budget and about a third of my restaurant budget.
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Feb 25, 2015 19:53
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Mocking Bird posted:I have a $150 budget per month in mint labelled "Dating and Friendship Maintenance" which I think is a very generous amount. I'm 25, for the record, and this section includes the entirety of my bar budget and about a third of my restaurant budget. Phew I was worried I look somehow weird if I just want to drink that normal coffee and nothing fancy. I think if you don't hit it off on mundane coffee then I don't see how some fancy restaurant's going to change much.
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Feb 25, 2015 19:55
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Keisari posted:I know I'm only a student, but what's wrong with just drinking coffee on first date for a couple of euros/dollars even if you're a "proper adult" in your thirties or forties? Guess I'm horrified at even the average of "just" 80. If you had a really all-in search out and went to like 2 dates a week that'd be crazy. Ain't nothing wrong with that at all especially at a "nice" coffee shop, plus it's way lower commitment than a fancy dinner so either party can make a graceful exit if things aren't going well. Maybe it's a coffee culture thing (Seattle), but pretty sure coffee is the de facto first date around here.
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Feb 25, 2015 19:57
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Keisari posted:Phew I was worried I look somehow weird if I just want to drink that normal coffee and nothing fancy. I think if you don't hit it off on mundane coffee then I don't see how some fancy restaurant's going to change much. I live in the SF Bay Area, and dating here is a little weird, but it's generally assumed that first dates with be coffee or a quick drink, and you go Dutch as a rule. I'm always surprised when my date even buys my drink. And with online dating, I consider it a terrible faux pas to jump straight to a restaurant meal without seeing if you even like a person first  It's also way cheaper and better with money to date this way. It stings to spend $40 when the dude is a creep.
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Feb 25, 2015 19:59
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Guinness posted:Ain't nothing wrong with that at all especially at a "nice" coffee shop, plus it's way lower commitment than a fancy dinner so either party can make a graceful exit if things aren't going well. Mocking Bird posted:I live in the SF Bay Area, and dating here is a little weird, but it's generally assumed that first dates with be coffee or a quick drink, and you go Dutch as a rule. I'm always surprised when my date even buys my drink. And with online dating, I consider it a terrible faux pas to jump straight to a restaurant meal without seeing if you even like a person first Phew. Coffee at a "nice" coffee shop is exactly what I was thinking. I often like to pay lip service to the "gentleman" thing and offer to pay for the coffee, but anything more than that will be dutch. It'd feel like I'm trying to buy the girl if I offered anything more than a coffee. Sometimes girls think it's weird and they're surprised if I offer to buy them coffee, but I just like the gesture. If someone tried to offer me a 120 euro meal at some restaurant I'd probably be really weirded out too 
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Feb 25, 2015 20:06
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Sorry for resurrecting last page's but LL Bean doesn't really sell any purses (also they're $100+ for the few they do), but my girlfriend needs a new one. She tried to cheap out and buy one from Wilson's on sale but the dye literally rubbed off and now she has a hobo purse. We are not flashy people but I also don't want to keep buying/replacing $30 purses every 6mo either. What are some good ones that either last or have a good warranty but aren't $500/coutoure/anything else anyone would care about.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:08
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overdesigned posted:It's tempting to go out there and show that you have the money to spend on nice things to impress potential dates. Even if you don't really have the money to spend. I did it! I kind of wonder if extravagant first dates are one of those red pill type things. You pay for expensive poo poo and they accept and then they "owe" you something.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:11
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Barry posted:I kind of wonder if extravagant first dates are one of those red pill type things. You pay for expensive poo poo and they accept and then they "owe" you something. I'm sure that for some people that's part of it. For me it was "I want to show that I'm cool and rich and Good With Money" and as it turns out that is in fact Bad With Money. There's a point at which it crosses the line from attempts at image to legitimate "trying to buy someone's attention" that's probably a sliding scale based on area, age, income level...
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Feb 25, 2015 20:14
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Barry posted:I kind of wonder if extravagant first dates are one of those red pill type things. You pay for expensive poo poo and they accept and then they "owe" you something. Specifically, sex.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:15
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xie posted:Sorry for resurrecting last page's but LL Bean doesn't really sell any purses (also they're $100+ for the few they do), but my girlfriend needs a new one. She tried to cheap out and buy one from Wilson's on sale but the dye literally rubbed off and now she has a hobo purse. Like I said in the post you're mentioning, Timbuk2 has occasional awesome sales where quality shoulder (non-messenger, with more feminine features) bags can go for around $25-40. Set up a Slickdeals alert for "Timbuk2", or look on Sierra Trading Post. Timbuk2 styling is polarizing, so look for other brands that have great warranties. I just harp on them because they've replaced my messenger bags, twice, at no cost to me. More tips on picking a good bag: http://lifehacker.com/how-to-pick-a-handbag-that-doesnt-suck-1558157018
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Feb 25, 2015 20:18
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overdesigned posted:I'm sure that for some people that's part of it. For me it was "I want to show that I'm cool and rich and Good With Money" and as it turns out that is in fact Bad With Money. Just to be clear, I just randomly quoted you and was in no way suggesting it was something you were attempting.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:21
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xie posted:We are not flashy people but I also don't want to keep buying/replacing $30 purses every 6mo either. What are some good ones that either last or have a good warranty but aren't $500/coutoure/anything else anyone would care about. I would recommend an actually leather bag, they last much better and the dye tends to stay put. https://www.6pm.com has a lot of good deals if she doesn't mind wading through past season stuff, or TJ Maxx/Marshalls if there is one by you. A good quality one will be closer to $100-200, usually, but will also last several years with good care so pick a classic style that will still look good if it gets broken in (i.e. not highly structured and rigidly boxy). I'd recommend Cole Haan, Fossil can be hit or miss but are usually sturdy. If you can find a good deal (and it'll take looking) Tumi is excellent and does a lifetime warranty I think. Sometimes these will be at TJ Maxx. There are also independent bag makers on Etsy that the women's fashion thread in YLLS can point you towards. Basically stay away from fashion brands like Steve Madden, Jessica Simpson, Michael Kors, or anything made of plastic. They're made to be bought again in 6 months.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:24
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Barry posted:I kind of wonder if extravagant first dates are one of those red pill type things. You pay for expensive poo poo and they accept and then they "owe" you something. Very much so, one of their major talking points is that it's so unfair that men "have" to spend $50-$100+ just to get a shot with a woman they've only just met.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:24
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Plenty of TJ Maxx/Marshalls around, and I get 40% STP coupons weekly, good call. Thanks! We were just talking about it the other day 
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Feb 25, 2015 20:28
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xie posted:Sorry for resurrecting last page's but LL Bean doesn't really sell any purses (also they're $100+ for the few they do), but my girlfriend needs a new one. She tried to cheap out and buy one from Wilson's on sale but the dye literally rubbed off and now she has a hobo purse. My fiance swears by these things, which are durable as all gently caress and have a unique look that you may or may not find appealing.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:28
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Gabriel Pope posted:Very much so, one of their major talking points is that it's so unfair that men "have" to spend $50-$100+ just to get a shot with a woman they've only just met. Hahahhahahah. I think my record spending on first date is 6-7 euros and I got together with that girl back then.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:30
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Dating in college was great. $10 for 2 at In-n-Out, free movie screening on campus, and free condoms from the health center. Not being in a steady long term relationship is bad with money (unless you married Zarugwife).
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Feb 25, 2015 20:33
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Barry posted:I kind of wonder if extravagant first dates are one of those red pill type things. You pay for expensive poo poo and they accept and then they "owe" you something. Also an ancient sales technique. I'm sure back in Rome some guy named Caius or something convinced a wealthy nobleman to contract his chariot company by buying him a nice dinner.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:37
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If you're actually relying on "the implication", maybe you should take a look at your attitude towards human relationships.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:46
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like everything else in life doing the same thing over and over and over is really boring, and if you're dating a lot, you may not want to sit in the same coffee shops over and over with different men/women. just like bringing the same bulk sandwich for lunch every single day is the "correct" move but we all still make different meals and even buy lunch sometimes. plus if youre dating a lot it already feels like a meat grinder, literally having a stock 1st date that you just keep going on is pretty loving boring on your end too. sometimes things just come up, like you have a good time at coffee and wind up doing something else. while i appreciate fiscal responsibility if i suggested keeping it going with a ~15$ activity and they declined i'd assume they aren't interested.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:48
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I always say that the best thing about married is not having to worry about dating. I was listening to a morning show today that was talking about dating and "What would you think of a man who uses a coupon (or similar) for the meal on your first date" and the two women on the show did no favors for their gender saying it's "Tacky" and would not continue to date that person. They then later claimed that they don't care how much a guy makes so long as they had chemistry, hit it off, etc. Those pretty much directly contradict each other, though. And it was totally cool you guys for a second date, but the first? Ewwww gross. So, so very happy I don't have to date people.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:48
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I'm in my early 30s and have about $200 bucks also budgeted for friends and dates and rarely even hit that since the girl I'm seeing and I usually alternate paying or end up splitting the bill when we go somewhere expensive to eat.Barry posted:I kind of wonder if extravagant first dates are one of those red pill type things. You pay for expensive poo poo and they accept and then they "owe" you something. I've found more girls are put off by the idea that i'd take them out for midrange sushi and since they were recently out of college, I'd pay.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:49
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There are also many completely free date-activities that I think are really great. (To keep up if the coffee is doing great) like deciding to take a walk in the park, beach or whatever the gently caress. Granted they mostly revolve around summer but eh.
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Feb 25, 2015 20:51
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The real question is whether you conceal how much you make for obvious reasons, or whether you don't, for obvious reasons: 
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Feb 25, 2015 20:56
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... I was just gonna knit myself a small handbag with stash leftovers or whatever I had kicking around. I am not much of a purse person, but women's pants pockets are freaking useless. I also figured I'd wait until I had a car and was more financially and health(ily) stable till I go try dating around.
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Feb 25, 2015 22:22
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Radbot posted:The real question is whether you conceal how much you make for obvious reasons, or whether you don't, for obvious reasons: The answer clearly depends on what you're seeking. Also, what's up with 18 to 22 year olds? It's like college kids don't even think about money ...oh.
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Feb 25, 2015 22:27
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23 year olds making 100k are obviously faking it, you gotta be 25 to make six figures
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Feb 25, 2015 22:30
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I like the small uptick at 36 for the guy making 20K
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Feb 25, 2015 22:34
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Folly posted:The answer clearly depends on what you're seeking. Also, what's up with 18 to 22 year olds? It's like college kids don't even think about money ...oh. I figured it was college students not giving a poo poo.
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Feb 25, 2015 22:34
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:23 year olds making 100k are obviously faking it, you gotta be 25 to make six figures I was thinking that in college the dynamic would be based on potential income after graduation instead of actual, current income. The theory practically proves itself based on all the ladies that hang around outside the engineering building trying to catch the eye of a promising young engineer or programmer. Edit: gigawhite posted:I like the small uptick at 36 for the guy making 20K LOL
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Feb 25, 2015 22:37
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Keisari posted:I know I'm only a student, but what's wrong with just drinking coffee on first date for a couple of euros/dollars even if you're a "proper adult" in your thirties or forties? Guess I'm horrified at even the average of "just" 80. If you had a really all-in search out and went to like 2 dates a week that'd be crazy. No, you don't understand. Its not that they are spending $80 on the date (dinner, drinks, etc) its they are literally paying $80 for a date + expenses. Whatsyourprice.com or whatever literally boils down accepting a date down to a financial exchange. Good with money if you are getting it, bad if you are paying?
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Feb 25, 2015 22:44
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It's OK to make $50k if you're 21, 23, or 25, but not 22. And 70k is poison to 28 year olds and pretty much only 28 year olds. Weird.
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Feb 25, 2015 22:53
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I'm sure the size of some of those populations doesn't meet statistical significance, but who wants a chart filled with holes? Just thought it was interesting how, if you don't make above the median personal income for Americans, you might as well kill yourself if you're trying to date.
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Feb 25, 2015 22:55
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This guy took me hiking on a first date and brought homemade peanut butter honey sandwiches squished up in a ziploc. When we went to a coffee shop afterwards I could tell he was stressed on buying fancy coffee so I paid for his drink. Then his car handle broke off in my hand when I got in because he was driving a super old Volvo and there was no furniture in his apartment to even sit down so we sat on the floor. Then he had the gall to expect me to pay for the wedding two years later, sheesh.
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Feb 25, 2015 23:09
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| # ? May 15, 2024 11:20 |
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Radbot posted:I'm sure the size of some of those populations doesn't meet statistical significance, but who wants a chart filled with holes? Presumably OKC users aren't a representative sample of Americans though.
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Feb 25, 2015 23:09
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