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Noyemi K posted:Found by our great friend Bismuth: loving titswats.
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Mar 1, 2015 15:21
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Noyemi K posted:Found by our great friend Bismuth: Yes. FOLLOW UP QUESTION: DO YOU WANT TO GET FIRED AND POSSIBLY GO TO JAIL? Yes.
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Mar 1, 2015 18:03
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EmmyOk posted:I don't think it's that women's trouser have no pockets because they're for women. I wear skinny jeans and they have awful pockets because they're skinny jeans, sometimes I have to squeeze my phone out of them like toothpaste. Sounds like someone's never encountered the "pants with fake pockets" thing. 
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Mar 1, 2015 18:40
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Went hunting for another story to post here and found a well-loved gem that hasn't been posted yet Not quite the usual STDH formula, but I didn't want to spoil the ending that's apparently heroic to reddit
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Mar 1, 2015 22:51
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Should I even ask what that nonsensical poo poo about the bob cut means?
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Mar 1, 2015 23:27
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Kimmalah posted:Should I even ask what that nonsensical poo poo about the bob cut means? He hates women and apparently is proud of it.
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Mar 1, 2015 23:31
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Afraid of Audio posted:He hates women and apparently is proud of it. I kind of assumed it was something like that, I've just honestly never heard it used like that before.
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Mar 1, 2015 23:35
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Reddit has this weird thing where they assume women with a bob cut will want the manager.
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Mar 1, 2015 23:42
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Kimmalah posted:Should I even ask what that nonsensical poo poo about the bob cut means? What I assume he is referring to 
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Mar 2, 2015 00:09
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FrozenVent posted:Reddit has this weird thing where they assume women with a bob cut will want the manager. I think it's appropriate in the same way that neckbeard is shorthand for weird, greasy nerd shut in.
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Mar 2, 2015 00:29
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FrozenVent posted:Reddit has this weird thing where they assume women with a bob cut will want the manager. I have a bob and I was usually the one having to listen to people who wanted to speak to a manager. 
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Mar 2, 2015 00:29
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Kimmalah posted:I have a bob and I was usually the one having to listen to people who wanted to speak to a manager. Well, maybe you're one of the good ones.
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Mar 2, 2015 00:33
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FrozenVent posted:Reddit has this weird thing where they assume women with a bob cut will want the manager. Is it me or is this dog whistle as gently caress? Like 90% of the women I know with a bob cut are black. The only white women I know with it are punk or goth.
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Mar 2, 2015 00:38
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snergle posted:Is it me or is this dog whistle as gently caress? Like 90% of the women I know with a bob cut are black. No I think it's just an extension of the old "women with short hair are crazy and probably rebellious feminazis/lesbians."
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Mar 2, 2015 00:40
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Kimmalah posted:No I think it's just an extension of the old "women with short hair are crazy and probably rebellious feminazis/lesbians." I don't know anyone over 30 with a bob cut though. All the older women I know have the normal shoulder length hair or a bun.
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Mar 2, 2015 00:42
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snergle posted:Is it me or is this dog whistle as gently caress? Like 90% of the women I know with a bob cut are black. That sucks if it is but when he said "bobcut" I pictured a white lady with blond highlights not unlike the picture posted above. I feel like there's enough other terms that lovely writers have at their disposal to say black people without saying black people that they didn't need to make a new one.
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Mar 2, 2015 00:44
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quote:Today a rather exuberant little girl, she couldn’t have been older than maybe five or six, tugged on my bag on the subway and asked me if I was a princess. Wide eyed at being misgendered for the first time in ages I simply mumbled out a “yeah” and prayed for my stop to come sooner. Without missing a beat the little girl turned back to her mother and loudly exclaimed, “mommy look! This boy is a princess! See! Boys and girls can be whatever they want!” I wish someone out there would miss a beat.
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Mar 2, 2015 00:47
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snergle posted:Is it me or is this dog whistle as gently caress? Like 90% of the women I know with a bob cut are black. The only white women I know with it are punk or goth. Kimmalah posted:No I think it's just an extension of the old "women with short hair are crazy and probably rebellious feminazis/lesbians." edit: this one: EmmyOk posted:What I assume he is referring to
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Mar 2, 2015 01:26
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Das Boo posted:I wish someone out there would miss a beat.
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Mar 2, 2015 02:09
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CannonFodder posted:But if someone misses the beat then *RECORD SCRATCH* happens. *RECORD SCRATCH* Awkwaaaaaard~!
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Mar 2, 2015 02:30
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 Simple, follows the marriage formula, right to the point. 10/10, definitely didn't happen.
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Mar 2, 2015 06:22
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oh tumblr I warned this boy THREE TIMES to leave me alone. To leave my possessions alone. To stop putting his feet on my books which were under my chair. To stop putting his knees against the back of my chair and pushing, which rocked me back and forth. I told this boy THREE TIMES to leave me alone and the last time I told him. “I’ve warned you three times now. Stop, or you are gonna regret it.” To which he taunted. “Ooooh, Dunn, sooo scared.” So he did it again. And I lost it. The camels back didn’t have a chance, it snapped like a kit kat. I turned around, put my hands on his desk and as I screamed every bit of profanity at him at volumes that I’m sure were heard down the hall, and I shoved. Every ounce of anger and frustration went into that push. I pushed that desk (he was still in it.) so hard that it parted the two empty desks behind him and he almost hit the wall. Everyone around me was stunned, but then the boys sitting beside me JUMPED to their feet and started applauding, cause someone FINALLY DID IT! Someone FINALLY stood up to the bully. As they start to clap the teacher jumps to her feet and points to the door. “HALLWAY NOW!” And I’m just standing there, sobbing. “I just wanted him to leave me alone. I just wanted to be left alone.” As I was walking around the desk (people are still applauding.) the bully snapped out of his daze and jumped to his feet. “DID YOU SEE WHAT THAT PSYCHO BITCH DID!?” I turned on a dime. “YOU WANNA SEE PSYCHO BITCH! I’LL loving SHOW YOU PSYCHO BITCH!” And I practically launched myself in his general direction. I say practically, because as my two besties scrambled to their feet to tackle me, my teacher grabbed the back of my shirt mid air and threw me into the hallway. "YOU HALLWAY! AND YOU MISTER! OFFICE! NOW!" "BUT I’M INNOCENT!" He tried to argue. The boys that sat in the next aisle over stood and said ‘Ms Fye, she asked him to stop. She asked him to stop three times. We heard it.’” She wrote him a hall pass. “You go to the office. I’ll be there in 5 minutes. And if you aren’t there sitting in a chair waiting for me, then we’re calling truente.” The boy walked out the room gesturing like “you know you want it.” But the teacher shoved him down the hall. After he turned the corner she turned to me and asked. “What the HELL happened?” And all I could say (as I was crying) was “I just wanted to be left alone. I just wanted him to leave me and my stuff and my desk and my books alone. But he wouldn’t. He kept pushing my chair.He kept putting his feet on my books under the desk. He kept moving my gym bag. I just wanted to be left alone.” She hugged me, promised me that she was going to move me, that I was never going to have to see him again. She sent me to the restroom and walked back into the classroom to inform the class that I was going to be sitting on the other side of the room. And the boys that sat next to me took it it upon themselves to save me the hassle of going back to the scene of the crime and forming a life chain, passing my things over from one kid to the next to the chair I was going to be sitting in. I came back to the room and there was no jeering, no rude comments or gestures. Just a couple of boys pointing out that my stuff was in my new seat. The teacher went to the office and the boy eventually got 3 day in-school suspension, and a serious tongue lashing from my teacher. Looking back on it now, I realize how lucky I was I didn’t end up getting suspended or expelled. (Technically I never touched the boy… close… but I never touched him.) In fact, I don’t think my parents even got called. To this day they have no idea how close their daughter came to beating the poo poo out of a football player. But the thing that stuck me the most was no one in the class ever treated me like I was crazy. In fact, it freak out this one boy so bad he left me pencils on my desk every day. I like to think of myself as a non-violent person. But then I remember… that time I almost showed a boy what a psycho bitch really was.
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Mar 2, 2015 06:24
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Mar 2, 2015 07:50
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Tetracube posted:oh tumblr Pencils! He must have rescued them from the pencil-killer.
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Mar 2, 2015 09:10
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We're calling truente
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Mar 2, 2015 09:16
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EMT-ing as the mouse has got to be a fireable offense.
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Mar 2, 2015 09:17
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axolotl farmer posted:EMT-ing as the mouse has got to be a fireable offense. I like the idea of the actor waddling over to a concession stand, demanding a wet towel in a muffled, in-character voice, then waddling back over to this kid while clutching the wet towel in his thickly padded, gloved hands before clumsily stooping over him with his gigantic bobble of a head, dropping the towel on the kid's face and holding it in place with his massive glove. Instead of, you know, alerting EMTs.
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Mar 2, 2015 10:56
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Das Boo posted:I remember… that time I almost showed a boy what a psycho bitch really was. "One of our students is showing severe mood swings and got physically violent with another student! Should we tell her parents?" "Nah."
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Mar 2, 2015 12:19
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Das Boo posted:I like the idea of the actor waddling over to a concession stand, demanding a wet towel in a muffled, in-character voice, then waddling back over to this kid while clutching the wet towel in his thickly padded, gloved hands before clumsily stooping over him with his gigantic bobble of a head, dropping the towel on the kid's face and holding it in place with his massive glove. Except Mickey doesn't talk in the parks (except during stage shows, parades, and in a couple of indoor locations), so he had to get the towel and bring it to the kid without speaking a word.  Pththya-lyi has a new favorite as of 08:31 on Mar 3, 2015 |
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Mar 2, 2015 12:21
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EZipperelli posted:
Honestly, I'd believe that. It's got a long time between the events, and is pretty innocuous as far as stuff goes, just that they married a cop that once pulled them over, no biggie.
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Mar 2, 2015 12:34
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GWBBQ posted:Where do you live? I'm in suburban CT and I'm pretty sure that haircut comes standard with the gigantic SUV and $800,000 mortgage. Somewhere where this isn't the case I guess?  I've heard the "women with short hair are crazy" thing but like I said it's always been in the sense that they're probably some kind of fringe radical weirdo.
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Mar 2, 2015 15:35
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I like how he becomes a football player by the end of the story.
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Mar 2, 2015 16:03
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"Then I noticed the bench was in a disused supply room somewhere in the bowels of Disneyworld, lit by a single flickering neon tube, and Mickey was wearing a rubber apron, and let's just say things went downhill from there."
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Mar 2, 2015 17:32
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Found while flipping through Imgur:  And the followup:  Suuuuure, buddy. At least half the comments are calling the OP out.
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Mar 2, 2015 17:57
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Big Grunty Secret posted:Found while flipping through Imgur: Invite him/her/xer/mushroom over HOW?
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Mar 2, 2015 22:23
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how me a frog posted:Invite him/her/xer/mushroom over HOW? *points at schlong*
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Mar 2, 2015 22:31
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Fathis Munk posted:*points at schlong* The universal language of love.
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Mar 2, 2015 23:00
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Big Grunty Secret posted:Found while flipping through Imgur: "Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would ever happen to me but..." I'm noticing that quite a bit of these STDHs are like this 
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Mar 3, 2015 00:14
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Tetracube posted:I like to think of myself as a non-violent person. But then I remember… that time I almost showed a boy what a psycho bitch really was. Troper Tales posted:That kid... is inhuman!
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Mar 3, 2015 01:48
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Why are there always innocent pencils?quote:Not As Sharp As The Pencil
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Mar 3, 2015 18:21
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