CM Punk signs with UFC

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > CM Punk signs with UFC

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Street Horrrsing: Mar 24, 2010; Godwalker of The Grateful Prisoner

LobsterMobster posted:

Kimbo is fighting Ken Shamrock

I'm toxxing for whoever Kimbo ends up across the cage from on fight night, which may end up being Ken Shamrock.

Toxxing on "CM Punk will definitely fight someone who's not 50 and hasn't lost by TKO (heart attack)" is barely a toxx

# ? Mar 5, 2015 01:41

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# ? May 14, 2024 02:59

Gonzo McFee: Jun 19, 2010

CM Punk will win his fight with the GTS, prove that MMA is a load of predetermined nonsense and prove that the only true fighting style is Professional wrestling.

Holla if you hear me.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 01:48

Seltzer: Oct 11, 2012; Ask me about Game Pass: the Best Deal in Gaming!

Street Horrrsing posted:

I'm toxxing for whoever Kimbo ends up across the cage from on fight night, which may end up being Ken Shamrock.

Toxxing on "CM Punk will definitely fight someone who's not 50 and hasn't lost by TKO (heart attack)" is barely a toxx

Ken Shamrock is far more legit even at 50 than whoever CM Punk will face.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 01:51

History Comes Inside!: Nov 20, 2004

40 new posts maybe something cool happened

Oh no its just MMA dudes making GBS threads on wrestlebros

Can't we all just get along and agree CM Punk will probably get wrecked but that's ok because as wrestlebros we should be used to having our favourite guys lose at things

# ? Mar 5, 2015 01:53

handsome only face: Apr 22, 2010; Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist

MAKE WAY NEW STARS posted:

40 new posts maybe something cool happened

# ? Mar 5, 2015 01:58

Fat Lowtax: Nov 9, 2008; "I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"

CM Punk won his fighting match.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 02:00

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

Has it already been suggested CM Punk face Brock Lesnar for real this time and let's see if they can have as good a match as their WWE PPV one?

I'm sure it has. Brock will destroy Punk. Probably never face each other/not same weight class.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 02:03

Fozzy The Bear: Dec 11, 1999; Nothing much, watching the game, drinking a bud

I expect CM Punk to do as well as Herschel Walker did in Strikeforce at the age of 48.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 02:05

Mean Bean Machine: May 9, 2008; Only when I breathe.

I believe CM Punk, as a normal human being and as an adult man, actually drinks alcohol regularly and the whole clean lifestyle thing is just a "gimmick" and part of his pro wrestling character, maybe it he just started doing it as part of an "angle" and quickly realized what kind of "pop" he was getting from the crowds and how that might be good for his "face" persona, and now look at what a "draw" he is. Pretty sure we'll be seeing him down some shots when he goes out and celebrates his first MMA win. Curious what other fans think.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 03:29

Heavy Metal: Sep 1, 2014; America's $1 Funnyman

Seltzer posted:

Excuses for what? How he's gonna win? Dana already said they're gonna match him up with someone with similar experience (next to none and not training at a top mma camp like cm punk is) and it only makes sense to give him a win in his first fight anyways. It's a silly sideshow money grab fight and we all see it for what it is. I don't know why you guys are so obsessively attached to this dude.

He's very entertaining and a good talker. He may be a bit of an ego guy in real life, but he makes me laugh and whatnot. I like that.

Keg posted:

Win or lose, I hope CM Punk gets home from his fight in time to tuck Colt Cabana into bed and kiss his wife AJ Lee on the face.

This post has captured my imagination. I kind of like the idea of Colt being Punk and AJ's adult sized child, I'd enjoy a sitcom with these folks. It'd be like a reverse Gary Coleman kind of plot, like that Robin Williams movie or something.

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Curious what other fans think.

I don't think that's correct.

Heavy Metal fucked around with this message at 04:08 on Mar 5, 2015

# ? Mar 5, 2015 03:57

Bundt Cake: Aug 17, 2003; ;(

Fozzy The Bear posted:

I expect CM Punk to do as well as Herschel Walker did in Strikeforce at the age of 48.

That would be a major overachievment

# ? Mar 5, 2015 04:16

Bundt Cake: Aug 17, 2003; ;(

Gatts posted:

Has it already been suggested CM Punk face Brock Lesnar for real this time and let's see if they can have as good a match as their WWE PPV one?

I'm sure it has. Brock will destroy Punk. Probably never face each other/not same weight class.

Okay besides Ken Shamrock, this is the only idea that makes any sense that I've read so far

# ? Mar 5, 2015 04:17

Chokes McGee: Aug 7, 2008; This is Urotsuki.

oatgan posted:

don't actually read posts

or make any, while we're at it

# ? Mar 5, 2015 04:28

Codependent Poster: Oct 20, 2003

Will UFC put out a recap of his first fight that's just zooming in to close-ups of Punk's rear end?

# ? Mar 5, 2015 04:36

Bundt Cake: Aug 17, 2003; ;(

Codependent Poster posted:

Will UFC put out a recap of his first fight that's just zooming in to close-ups of Punk's rear end?

Theres no cameras under the mat

# ? Mar 5, 2015 04:37

cams: Mar 28, 2003

1900 posts in this thread i wonder if it was a good business decision for the ufc to sign cm punk

# ? Mar 5, 2015 04:57

Yuriy: Dec 25, 2006; Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.

wow its almost like were in a forum thats split between pro-wrestling and mma posters so itll attract more attention here than it would to a mainstream audience which cares about neither

# ? Mar 5, 2015 04:58

Beef Jerky Robot: Sep 20, 2009; "And the DICK?"

maybe cm punk will fight... a comic book character

# ? Mar 5, 2015 05:19

Seltzer: Oct 11, 2012; Ask me about Game Pass: the Best Deal in Gaming!

"superhero" Phoenix Jones currently holds a belt in an Indian MMA promotion, and again, would wax CM Punk.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 05:23

Mean Bean Machine: May 9, 2008; Only when I breathe.

cams posted:

1900 posts in this thread i wonder if it was a good business decision for the ufc to sign cm punk

Haha yeah but actually that's the one opinion both MMA and pro-wrestling fans have shared since the beginning of the whole situation? Like did anyone here ever say it was a bad business decision? I don't think so but if they did then they're dumb as heck, feed them to the Magny beast, or to use funny pro-wrestling parlance that you might be more familiar with, let them get buried by Triple H big time

# ? Mar 5, 2015 05:34

Detroit_Dogg: Feb 2, 2008; Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT

It's a good business decision but it's still really funny and the reactions have been really funny

# ? Mar 5, 2015 05:36

Byolante: Mar 23, 2008; by Cyrano4747

Beef Jerky Robot posted:

maybe cm punk will fight... a comic book character

Nagashima has fought in mma bouts before

# ? Mar 5, 2015 05:41

cams: Mar 28, 2003

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Haha yeah but actually that's the one opinion both MMA and pro-wrestling fans have shared since the beginning of the whole situation? Like did anyone here ever say it was a bad business decision? I don't think so but if they did then they're dumb as heck, feed them to the Magny beast, or to use funny pro-wrestling parlance that you might be more familiar with, let them get buried by Triple H big time

why do people keep trying to do this, i watch way more mma than i do wrestling (almost zero)

still amuses the hell out of me how sensitive people are about this situation

# ? Mar 5, 2015 05:59

cams: Mar 28, 2003

Detroit_Dogg posted:

It's a good business decision but it's still really funny and the reactions have been really funny

yup it owns

# ? Mar 5, 2015 06:00

Bundt Cake: Aug 17, 2003; ;(

cams posted:

1900 posts in this thread i wonder if it was a good business decision for the ufc to sign cm punk

Thats definitely how I'd evaluate it

# ? Mar 5, 2015 06:01

cams: Mar 28, 2003

Bundt Cake posted:

Thats definitely how I'd evaluate it

all top level ufc fighters have stipulations in their contracts where they get bonuses based on the amount of posts in the punchsport pagoda gdt thread

# ? Mar 5, 2015 06:02

cams: Mar 28, 2003

mark hunt is a loving billionaire

# ? Mar 5, 2015 06:03

oatgan: Jan 15, 2009

chill

# ? Mar 5, 2015 06:10

cams: Mar 28, 2003

oatgan posted:

chill

you're right i'm getting too emotional sry

# ? Mar 5, 2015 06:12

DeathChicken: Jul 9, 2012; Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

I remember that Brock Lesnar got the same herp-a-doo here comes the fake wrestleman to infringe upon my glorious BJJ anger as Punk is now. Punk is not Brock Lesnar and will not take on Frank Mir in his second professional fight, followed by winning the World title two fights later, but it's all the same and it's still funny.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 06:20

Bluedeanie: Jul 20, 2008; It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?

Under the right circumstances I think CM Punk would beat Tron Bonne but Gambit is a bad style matchup for him imo

# ? Mar 5, 2015 06:30

cams: Mar 28, 2003

Bluedeanie posted:

Under the right circumstances I think CM Punk would beat Tron Bonne but Gambit is a bad style matchup for him imo

punk vs any grappler is a 4-6 matchup imo

# ? Mar 5, 2015 06:35

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

DeathChicken posted:

I remember that Brock Lesnar got the same herp-a-doo here comes the fake wrestleman to infringe upon my glorious BJJ anger as Punk is now. Punk is not Brock Lesnar and will not take on Frank Mir in his second professional fight, followed by winning the World title two fights later, but it's all the same and it's still funny.

Lesnar had a real wrestling background in addition to a fake one, he's also built like a moose.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 06:54

Detroit_Dogg: Feb 2, 2008; Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT

Mark Hunt is a phenomenally good fighter. CM Punk is a guy who decided it'd be fun to have a fight.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 09:05

Lloyd Boner: Oct 11, 2009; Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg

I'd watch Mark Hunt vs CM Punk

# ? Mar 5, 2015 09:16

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Bluedeanie posted:

Under the right circumstances I think CM Punk would beat Tron Bonne but Gambit is a bad style matchup for him imo

Yeah but he can always just use his AJ assist. We all know Gambit can't resist a pretty cheri.

# ? Mar 5, 2015 09:21

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.