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I just wanted to learn ASL. 
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Mar 6, 2015 00:18
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ultrafilter posted:How? I've only become proficient in German, been warned away from learning French, or fallen in love with Margaux. You have to cheat on the Spanish course, you filthy cheater
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Mar 6, 2015 00:31
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ultrafilter posted:How? I've only become proficient in German, been warned away from learning French, or fallen in love with Margaux. Spanish, 2nd answer on the first actual language question.
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Mar 6, 2015 00:52
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quote:Wow, you’re a little cock, aren’t you? If everything isn’t perfect for Mr. Dickhouse, you just throw a poo poo fit. You sniveling piece of human garbage, you can’t see outside your own goddamn taint house to care about anyone but you. We tried, we apologized, and we’re done groveling to the likes of a sweat drinker like you. Submit the loving form if you want.
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Mar 6, 2015 01:04
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Possibly my favorite Onion or Clickhole article ever written: I Put On A Fat Suit To Understand What It’s Like To Be Your Mom Every line in it is amazing.
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Mar 6, 2015 19:09
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bilperkins2 posted:Possibly my favorite Onion or Clickhole article ever written: quote:I wanted to experience the same embarrassment she experiences when measuring her waistline with an odometer, or having to rent a U-Haul in order to get carryout. 
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Mar 6, 2015 20:23
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bilperkins2 posted:Possibly my favorite Onion or Clickhole article ever written: That was the best Your momma burn I've ever read. Even the tags. +Fat Suit +Your Mom
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Mar 6, 2015 21:01
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Forceholy posted:Forceholy_chooses_Gogol_Bordello_on_the_Jukebox.txt  
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Mar 8, 2015 02:15
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bilperkins2 posted:Possibly my favorite Onion or Clickhole article ever written: This is all lean meat comedy. No line a waste, it's practically art
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Mar 8, 2015 04:19
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We Challenged This Man To Survive On Minimum Wage And He Immediately Got Hit By A Car
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Mar 9, 2015 06:29
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We Asked 22 OB-GYNs What’s The Weirdest Thing They Ever Delivered
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Mar 9, 2015 17:38
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I think my favorite thing about Clickhole articles is that, unlike The Onion, the punchline isn't really in the headline. I always find myself wondering where the hell they're going to go with the concept.
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Mar 9, 2015 19:32
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Lumberjack Bonanza posted:I think my favorite thing about Clickhole articles is that, unlike The Onion, the punchline isn't really in the headline. I always find myself wondering where the hell they're going to go with the concept. These people have my dream job. I want to be in the room where this stuff gets thought up. I'd really like a This American Life for ClickHole. SpiderHyphenMan has a new favorite as of 19:54 on Mar 9, 2015 |
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Mar 9, 2015 19:52
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I think I've finally found a concrete way to explain how and why Clickhole is the funniest website of all time. They posted this video/story today: Eye-Opening: This Pit Bull May Look Scary At First, But Then You Realize It’s Adorable. It can be taken as goofy, random fun, but then I remembered this article from a couple months ago: Faith In Humanity Restored! Passengers On This Screaming Red Bus Helped Put Out A House Fire. Which is also goofy, random hilarity (one of my favorite Clickhole articles by itself, actually). But you take them together and you realize a metajoke—the writers at Clickhole have no idea what a fire engine is. The concept of a group of writers not understanding a fire engine is just the absolute perfect mix of ridiculous and still, somehow, vaguely plausible. I know Clickhole and The Onion have these kings of extended jokes occasionally, but this is by far my favorite. Love this god drat website. Graviija has a new favorite as of 15:49 on Mar 10, 2015 |
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Mar 9, 2015 19:56
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Probably their weirdest repeated theme is people changing size.
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Mar 10, 2015 16:13
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“The best meal I ever had was in 1998. I had heard of food before, but I hadn’t ever tried it. Then one day, I saw all these people walking out of a building on Fifth Avenue (I was living in New York at the time) and they were all talking about how they had had it in there: food. This crazy stuff that you destroy with your teeth and it makes you bigger. It sounded too good to be true. “I went inside, and I said to the chef—whose name, I still remember, was Jarvis—‘Please, Jarvis, bring me that incredible stuff you gave those other people to destroy in their mouths. The wonderful victim whose name is food and makes you bigger. Bring it to me ASAP.’ Well, he gave it to me, and I killed the stuff with my teeth and immediately became bigger. This was wonderful to me. I get chills just thinking about it now. I later found out that the food was mozzarella sticks.” (from here) My favorite clickhole running theme is people doing outrageously bad things to their relatives, like the tribulations of the nice dad and his garbage sons, or the beer snob framing his son for treason so the government would electrocute him, or this: "Do you have a special sticker on your driver’s license so that if you die they know to donate your body to the military so it can be fired at one of America’s many adversaries?" "No, for some terrible reason I do not have this sticker on my license, and my family is so ashamed of me that they paid a newspaper to report that I had drowned." HMS Boromir has a new favorite as of 19:10 on Mar 10, 2015 |
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Mar 10, 2015 19:04
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Just a headline: Mitt Romney Still Thinking About Running For President In 2012 e: All the Romney articles are hilarious, really
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Mar 10, 2015 19:56
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Graviija posted:I think I've finally found a concrete way to explain how and why Clickhole is the funniest website of all time. 
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Mar 10, 2015 21:27
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Grim new ISIS video appears to show child executing alleged Mossad spy Looks like Clickhole was right about ISIS's new video!
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Mar 10, 2015 23:24
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Clickhole's facebook page is one of the few places on the internet that has good comments on the posts. Here's some stuff from the How to get nude photos of nude celbrities: http://www.clickhole.com/video/how-get-nude-pics-absolutely-any-celebrity-907   [    
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Mar 11, 2015 05:19
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South Postpones Rising Again For Yet Another Year
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Mar 11, 2015 22:56
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The NFL offseason in a nutshell http://www.theonion.com/articles/every-single-nfl-player-traded-retired-signed-cut,38192/
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Mar 11, 2015 23:14
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Clickventure: Death Attends the Matinee
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Mar 12, 2015 18:57
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I did an ok job 
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Mar 12, 2015 19:06
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Tater Love 
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Diver ending is canon
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Mar 12, 2015 19:13
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“Parents Of Worst Detective Get Appropriate Tattoos.” 
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Mar 12, 2015 19:15
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Your two halves are buried in separate, adjacent graves. The grave of your left half reads "Here lies some of a bad detective." The grave of your right half reads "Please rob the adjacent grave."
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Mar 12, 2015 19:36
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HMS Boromir posted:Diver ending is canon
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Mar 12, 2015 19:44
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Is it possible to do better than "ok?" I don't see a way.
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Mar 12, 2015 20:30
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HMS Boromir posted:Wooden Horse ending is canon
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Mar 12, 2015 20:40
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zakharov posted:Is it possible to do better than "ok?" I don't see a way.
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Mar 12, 2015 21:16
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The people who write these adventures need to make a video game or something
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Mar 13, 2015 11:15
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Sweet Jesus. As always, it's the last line.
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Mar 13, 2015 12:51
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Mar 13, 2015 14:52
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holy gently caress
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Mar 13, 2015 15:05
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Diamond Joe just can't catch a break these days.
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Mar 13, 2015 16:42
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Oof. Wall Street Firm Develops New High-Speed Algorithm Capable of Performing Over 10,000 Ethical Violations Per Second
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Mar 13, 2015 16:46
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It's been a few days and I'm constantly breaking out into giggles over a dozen things from the last Clickventure. "Goodbye, detective." "Goodbye, gun person."
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Mar 14, 2015 18:56
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Mar 16, 2015 17:37
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Putin is so drat frustrated people won't jerk off to Russian women.
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Mar 16, 2015 18:49
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