|
simplefish posted:
oh Christ, are you serious?
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 07:17 |
|
|
# ? Jun 5, 2024 07:32 |
|
blame random.org
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 07:35 |
|
I don't know whether to be glad I didn't get randomly selected or sad about it. Also, I think Carbonate and NicktheNorse should be highlighted as thread MVPs due to their affiliation with F1. Just throwing it out there.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 07:38 |
|
aequalis posted:I don't know whether to be glad I didn't get randomly selected or sad about it. Bollocks, I may have dropped you off the list by accident putting a driver-only person on a driver Have Monaco while I go check everyone else is there e: well despite George Zimmer being in the list twice, everything should be okay now e2: yes anyone who is connected to F1 can write a little piece, so we know, when people are being silly about yellow flags (not in the sense that Jules was), who isn't talking out of their arse Generally if you want to put something in the OP, I'll put it in. simplefish fucked around with this message at 07:51 on Mar 7, 2015 |
# ? Mar 7, 2015 07:40 |
|
This is going to be awesome. Who the gently caress is hulkenberg? Oh wait you meant pay driver 6. Sweet.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 08:19 |
|
Are we really going to let a bunch of goons write this? This is really going to be the worst OP.simplefish posted:
Ah poo poo. I don't even remember signing up for this or wanting to sign up for this.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 08:34 |
|
Jesus Christ i have the most important one. How much do you want?
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 08:52 |
|
I got a driver I genuinely forgot existed, awesome, I can just write a load of bollocks in the hope that everyone else has forgotten about him too
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 08:57 |
|
Butt Wizard posted:Jesus Christ i have the most important one. How much do you want? Can someone with archives pull up and post the teams/drivers summary from 2011, please? That one had good sections. They can be a bit longer than those were if you want, so 150-400 words as a rough guide (not a hard limit) (regardless of team, driver, or track). 120 as a minimum even if you got a nobody driver, just quote their Formula Funsies results if you can't think of anything else. And don't forget to send in those pics/links!
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 09:16 |
|
Jedit, when you write your fawning Alonso praise, please consider that Ron Dennis did not try to kill Alonso with a poo poo car. That is just vile slander. Thanks.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 09:52 |
|
Barcelona? Well ok.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:06 |
|
NOTICE ME If only because I'm bored tonight and want to write, I can handle all of the tracks from Canada on unless that's frowned upon in which case I'll write about a couple to be chosen later.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:22 |
|
simplefish posted:Can someone with archives pull up and post the teams/drivers summary from 2011, please? That one had good sections. Wirth1000 posted:
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:24 |
|
quote:Michael Schumacher - Once a legend, now slowed by the extra weight of the life support system he lugs around in the car. BECAUSE HE'S OLD, GET IT?
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:38 |
|
Wirth1000 Presents: Predictions of the Decadequote:Daniel Ricciardo - Replaces human failure Karthikeyan, extremely promising rookie tarnished by a horribly desperate move to HRT which will stigmatize him just as it did Bruno.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:41 |
|
I miss having loads of teams on the grid.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:43 |
|
[/quote] Thank you! It was the Daveh one I was remembering, but I like those little cars. In terms of driver profile pics, I can find them so they match nicely. But if you want to compare your driver to a bond villain, by all means include a picture of your own choosing too
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 11:03 |
|
NOTICE ME I rewrote it a bit. Yes, it is 1203 characters, what of it? Editing it down would be like not laying full-size tiles at Woking. quote:2015. Not to be confused with a Mercedes powered car from 2002. Or Force India. edit: K-MAG is a tool, not a guy. Plus car picture. Riso fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Mar 7, 2015 |
# ? Mar 7, 2015 11:07 |
|
Who wants Malaysia
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 11:13 |
|
Was reading through the old thread's summary and: 17 Jules Bianchi Age: 24 | Nationality: French | Starts: 19 Wins: 0 | 2013: 19th Will want to perform well again in 2014 and get the hell away from the backmarker teams before he becomes the next F1 career casualty.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 12:37 |
|
What the gently caress is 'Nasr'
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 12:52 |
|
Massa with a cold.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 12:59 |
|
simplefish posted:
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 14:45 |
|
Butt Wizard posted:Jesus Christ i have the most important one. How much do you want? I think you'll find I have the most important one. harperdc posted:NOTICE ME I'd love to do few track writeups too, if nobody else is interested? If only because it might give me a chance to wax lyrical about Belgium.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 14:54 |
|
I was going to pick out some tracks as well as Force India. However, somebody with more sense of humour than me needs to write about the German Grand Prix, and discuss whether or not it will take place in Germany.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 15:10 |
|
Here's my Malaysia thingy then. I can't really do funny for tracks (or at all, but tracks especially) so I went with facts instead. Oh yeah, notice me and all that.quote:Malaysia's Sepang circuit was the first of a new breed of Asian and Tilke tracks. Its debut was so long ago, in fact, that none of the current crop of drivers took part in the first F1 race there, not even old man Jense, and Max Verstappen was but a twinkle in his father's test tube. The circuit's known for two things: The two massively long straights, punctuated by hairpins that were to become a Tilke staple, and the death of Moto GP racer Marco Simoncelli. HJB fucked around with this message at 16:06 on Mar 7, 2015 |
# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:03 |
|
Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester posted:Took me a minute to figure out this was the username assignment for the writeups, and not just a free form random insult against Ferrari, Vettel and Kimi. Oh thank god I wasn't the only one.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:05 |
|
Also I trust Brainwrong/willcrouch/ukle will throw in a suitable To The Manor Born reference.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:06 |
|
Nico Rosberg did 759 laps during the 12 days of testing http://www.formula1.com/news/features/2015/3/16849.html also lol at Pascal Wehrlein (whoever that is) doing more laps than Alonso.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 17:23 |
|
To be fair, Wherlein had 2 teams to do it with.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 17:40 |
|
El Hefe posted:Nico Rosberg did 759 laps during the 12 days of testing Don't anyone say he never earned that 2nd place.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 17:41 |
|
Dudley posted:To be fair, Wherlein had 2 teams to do it with. Yeah, Alonso only had like a half.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 18:13 |
|
HJB posted:Here's my Malaysia thingy then. I can't really do funny for tracks (or at all, but tracks especially) so I went with facts instead. Oh yeah, notice me and all that. This is exactly the sort of thing! If anyone else is doing one, feel free to add in anything like tyre wear being a factor, whether it favours mechanical grip/Red Bull because of sweeping fast corners/Merc Engines because of straight line speed/no overtaking is possible at all ever/ even the weather Basically if you know it, throw it in. Also, if you don't know, don't worry, you'll have taught someone something regardless. If it's unsupported opinion, throw it in, because it's your track report, dammit! Also, turns out I'm thinking of this from previous years (not either of which was posted but thank you anyway because it's given me some more ideas!), which I saved as a word document when my wife started getting interested in F1. No idea who wrote it, but it gives a bit more detail than a few bullet points, which is the main thing: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester posted:Took me a minute to figure out this was the username assignment for the writeups, and not just a free form random insult against Ferrari, Vettel and Kimi. Nice spot! It does work pretty well keevo posted:Are we really going to let a bunch of goons write this? This is really going to be the worst OP. Yes it is. The Best of the Worst. harperdc posted:NOTICE ME The Sweet Hereafter posted:I think you'll find I have the most important one. Ilanin posted:I was going to pick out some tracks as well as Force India. However, somebody with more sense of humour than me needs to write about the German Grand Prix, and discuss whether or not it will take place in Germany.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 18:23 |
|
aequalis posted:I don't know whether to be glad I didn't get randomly selected or sad about it. I know what NickTheNorse does / did but what does the Carbon chap do?
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 18:50 |
|
Notice me. Here's my Britney post, tell me if it's too long: It’s a Finn, it’s a German! No wait, it’s a Monegasque! Whatever Nico is, you’ll be hearing a lot about him this season. Britney will no doubt be trying to mimic his father Keke’s 1982 championship this year, with his primary rival being his teammate and former friend/lover Lewis Hamilton. Nico was largely a midfield driver until scoring a win in China in 2012, Mercedes first in the new era, and then going on to gain a few more in 2013. By 2014, he was, and is, a championship contender. Nico attracted some pretty negative press last season that ultimately turned the fans largely against him. The first was his lockup and subsequent off track excursion during qualifying at Monaco that brought out the yellow flag towards the end of Q3…after he set the fastest time, of course. Guess whose potential poleworthy lap got spoiled? Rosberg went on to secure pole and victory after being cleared of any wrongdoing by race officials, but people weren’t convinced. The second incident took place at Spa, where an overeager Rosberg punctured Are Lewis’ tire on lap two. Nico secured 2nd while the win went to Ricciardo, but he wasn’t able to skate by like Monaco. He was formally reprimanded by the team, and he more or less turned into the series villain. He was booed on the podium in Italy and the UK and was given no reprieve from the largely UK-centric motorsport media. When the gorgeous Finn/Nazi/Monegasque isn’t cheating, he’s quite good. Rosberg has arguably the fastest single lap pace of the field and routinely traded poles and wins with Hamilton for much of the season. He’s not as aggressive passing wise as say Hamilton or Alonso, but can still scrap for position with most of the field. Goon opinion on the most gorgeous driver in F1 is mostly negative, largely for the incidents that occurred during the 2014 season. Has a penchant for booze and is married to a supermodel or some poo poo. We all know he wants to get back with Hamilton. EDIT: have some pictures George Zimmer fucked around with this message at 16:15 on Mar 8, 2015 |
# ? Mar 7, 2015 18:56 |
|
Brainwrong posted:I know what NickTheNorse does / did but what does the Carbon chap do? he's a track marshall
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 18:57 |
|
notice me I can do a track if need be.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 19:00 |
|
El Hefe posted:he's a track marshall So he's basically a fat supporter in fluorescent overalls? How's he affiliated to F1? At least NickTheNorse got sacked because he designed a bad F1 car. He really was affiliated to F1. Before he was sacked. (I am sure Carbonate is a lovely bloke really. At least he didn't get sacked from F1)
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 19:04 |
|
Brainwrong posted:How's he affiliated to F1? He gets to work for Bernie for free, so he's like everyone else involved in F1.
|
# ? Mar 7, 2015 19:22 |
|
|
# ? Jun 5, 2024 07:32 |
|
Here's my Mercedes writeup. Notice me. Mercedes GP Mercedes GP would like to trace their heritage to the era of pre-war motor racing, when immortals like Caracciola and Lang raced the Silver Arrows for the pride of Hitler. In reality, the team traces their heritage to the glory days of 1999, when immortals like David Coulthard and Heinz-Harald Frentzen walked the earth, and when Craig Pollock decided that building a new F1 team around Jacques Villeneuve was a great idea. Or perhaps you can call them a continuation of the Tyrrell outfit, who won a lot of races I didn't watch and were really poo poo in the races in the 80s and 90s that I did watch. The lesson here is that every F1 team is poo poo and has no history except Ferrari, who are legends. God bless the Scuderia. Anyway the Brackley-based team (phwoar, almost as evocative as "Maranello") went from being an unsuccessful Villeneuve-based team backed by a tobacco company to being an unsuccessful Button-based team backed by a tobacco company, before Honda purchased them outright and ran them as a factory-backed team. The result was two of the worst Grand Prix cars of the last decade, and the withdrawal of Honda from F1 until some dogshit team decided to bring them in as engine partners this year, poor bastards. Without any sponsorship or factory backing, they confusingly won both titles under Ross Brawn in 2009, something that hasn't really been explained except that they probably cheated. Mercedes backing arrived in 2010, and despite Brawn's track record and Mercedes' cash reserves, the team dissapointed for the next three years, possibly due to their driver lineup of the very adequate Nico Rosberg and a geriatric Michael Schumacher. Despite a successful 2013, featuring the arrival of Lewis Hamilton, Ross Brawn left the team and retired from Formula One. By 2014, it was clear that Mercedes had figured out the new engine formula far better than anyone else (probably by cheating), and coming into the season, they were prohibitive favorites. A dreadful season should have been the result. However, Brawn's departure had left a bit of a power vacuum in the team that had confusingly been filled in by a mix of Paddy Lowe, Toto Wolff, and a demented Niki Lauda for some reason. The lack of clear leadership turned into high comedy when the two Mercedes drivers, absent instructions, decided to crash into each other and have slapfights in the press. Finally, despite the admirable cheating of Nico Rosberg, Lewis Hamilton prevailed. Mercedes will expect to be the best team by some margin in 2015, and Lewis Hamilton, while not an official lead driver, will be expected to beat Rosberg over the year. With the current rules on engine development, it will be difficult for any other team- particularly the ones without Mercedes engines- to catch them- but this is Formula One, where anything can happen, except Honda making it a race distance in Melbourne. Anyway, Ferrari are probably going to win now that Fernando Alonso, world's worst car developer, is finally gone. Pictured: The greatest team and the greatest driver. Would hate to be Mercedes GP right now. Pictured: A historic Mercedes GP car. Pictured: Another incredible car from Mercedes GP's vast history Feels Villeneuve fucked around with this message at 19:44 on Mar 7, 2015 |
# ? Mar 7, 2015 19:34 |