Auspol March - C U Next Trollday, Auspol - The Something Awful Forums

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Sulla Faex: May 14, 2010; No man ever did me so much good, or enemy so much harm, but I repaid him with ENDLESS SHITPOSTING

If you let women become doctors people will literally die.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:12

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# ? May 26, 2024 12:13

SadisTech: Jun 26, 2013; Clem.

I'm certain that everybody realises that cpaf was being ironic, right? I mean no-one would be responding as though that was a literally intended post because it was so blatantly obvious that to not pick up on it you'd have to be mentally subnormal for real, right?

# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:13

Sulla Faex: May 14, 2010; No man ever did me so much good, or enemy so much harm, but I repaid him with ENDLESS SHITPOSTING

People just spent like 3 pages arguing against the guy who gave his rib so that god could create WASPs, what do you think

# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:14

SadisTech: Jun 26, 2013; Clem.

I think I don't want to live in such a cold and awful reality as this one

# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:15

hiddenmovement: Sep 29, 2011; "Most mornings I'll apologise in advance to my wife."

I kinda figured that once I got to the 'social justice warrior' bit but then I thought that there are lurkers in these threads that literally hold those opinions so what the hell, respond anyway.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:19

Cartoon: Jun 20, 2008; poop

SadisTech posted:

I think I don't want to live in such a cold and awful reality as this one

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:20

Thinking: Jan 22, 2009

SadisTech posted:

I'm certain that everybody realises that cpaf was being ironic, right? I mean no-one would be responding as though that was a literally intended post because it was so blatantly obvious that to not pick up on it you'd have to be mentally subnormal for real, right?

I didn't ask for these powers

# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:33

Thinking: Jan 22, 2009

Jonah Galtberg posted:

competency at extorting/being extorted into giving sexual favours perhaps

EvilElmo posted:

If you think surgical training positions are all given on merit, you're wrong.

Quantum Mechanic posted:

When are people going to learn that cpaf reposts Terrorgraph and Oz comments sections

lmao

# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:36

Sulla Faex: May 14, 2010; No man ever did me so much good, or enemy so much harm, but I repaid him with ENDLESS SHITPOSTING

The world starts to make a lot more sense once you realise that the old testament god is real and he really does hate us all that loving much. The only reason some people aren't suffering 24/7 is because without being able to make the comparison the rest of the world wouldn't fully appreciate how hosed they are

# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:38

Cartoon: Jun 20, 2008; poop

Your Omniscient Sentience, Piece Of poo poo.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:43

Thinking: Jan 22, 2009

Jonah are you tied into some sort of SMS alert system that warns you when people make incorrect posts in this thread

# ? Mar 7, 2015 10:52

CrazyTolradi: Oct 2, 2011; It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

cpaf posted:

Jonah are you tied into some sort of SMS alert system that warns you when people make incorrect posts in this thread

What would be more tragic, if someone had designed a system to alert via SMS of wrong posting here or if someone is constantly mashing F5 and watching this thread all day, every day?

# ? Mar 7, 2015 11:22

Sulla Faex: May 14, 2010; No man ever did me so much good, or enemy so much harm, but I repaid him with ENDLESS SHITPOSTING

CrazyTolradi posted:

What would be more tragic, if someone had designed a system to alert via SMS of wrong posting here or if someone is constantly mashing F5 and watching this thread all day, every day?

Thread loses its 10 most profligate posters in shame for the next 2 weeks

well cya

# ? Mar 7, 2015 11:24

EvilElmo: May 10, 2009

The Greens, the party for young people.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 11:54

ewe2: Jul 1, 2009

Speaking of reams of crap, Rowan Dean posted this filth in the AFR behind the paywall but thanks to a goon I can inflict it upon you all. Said goon doesn't understand it, so I shall help, my contributions in bold:

Rowan Dean thinks he is a satirist posted:

In a major political development this week, the Australian Greens released their own intergenerational report, compiled with the assistance of renowned scientific and economic expert consultancy firm Zager & Evans. (A BIG JOKE IS COMING UP COS IM A FUNNY GUY)

1. In the year 2025, if man is still alive (see Chapter 10 "Sustainability" section vii "The Imminent Devastation of Our Entire Economy and Way Of Life due to The Cataclysmic Effects of Catastrophic Climate Change") and if women can survive (see Chapter 4 "Misogyny" section iv "Blue ties and speedo-wearing in the Political Sphere and Other Such Male-Dominated Workplaces") they may find � they may find� (AHAHAH DID YOU GET THE HIPPIE SONG REFERENCE YET DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID HAHAHAHAH. HIPPIES ALWAYS PREDICT DOOM AREN'T THEY BORING)

2. In the year 2035, ain't gonna need to tell the truth (see Chapter 6 "The Hate Media � how the right-wing press attempts to silence the Environmental Movement") tell no lies (see sub-section iv "Provisional Requirement to establish a Powerful Media Advocate to Obstruct The Spread of Unacceptable Climate Change Denialism"). Everything you think, do and say (see addendum to Section 18C of the Racial and Other Unacceptable Forms of Minority Discrimination Act forbidding name-calling, face-pulling or any derogatory comments whatsoever of a political or personal nature) will be in the pill you took today (see sub-section viii "Free Universal Access to harmless and recreational non-prescription substances such as MDMA, GBH, Ecstasy, Ice etc"). (NOW IM STICKING IT TO THEM SEE HOW IM MAKING FUN OF ALL THEIR RULES IM SUCH A REBEL)

3. In the year 2045, you ain't gonna need your teeth (see Chapter 18 "Long-Term Effects of Nutritional Deprivation Caused by Catastrophic Climate Change") won't need your eyes (see Chapter 22 "Long-Term Effects of Uncensored Exposure to Television, News print and other Outlets of the Hate Media"). You won't find a thing to chew, nobody's gonna look at you woah�ohh! (see Chapter 13 "Universal Access to Dentures and Botox When Living To A Hundred"). (THE FUN LITERALLY NEVER STOPS)

4. In the year 2050, your arms hanging limp at your sides (see Chapter 82 "Long-Term Effects of Excessive Twitter Use"). Your legs got nothin' to do (see Chapter 14 "Utilising Sustainable, Eco-Friendly Public Transportation and Bike Paths"). Some machines doin' that for you woah-ohh! (see section xiv "The Economic Benefits of Solar and Wind-power upon Workers in the Renewable Energies Sector"). (I BET THEY'RE DYING OF APOPLEXY)

5. In the year 2055, ain't gonna need no husband (see Chapter 33 "The Introduction of Sustainable Subsidised Multi-Sex Marriage and Polygamy Equality), won't need no wife (see sub-section ix "Universal Access to Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transgender/Transsexual and Intersexed Multi-Gender Fertility and Surrogacy Programmes"). You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too, from the bottom of a long black tube oh yeah (see paras i-iii "Same Sex Access to Sustainable Babies born with Genetically-Enhanced Compassion, Gender Re-alignment and DNA-Enhanced Climate Change Affirmative Belief Syndromes"). (THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM THEY'LL PROBABLY CRY COS IM SO INCORRECT HAHA gently caress THEM RIGHT?)

6. In the year 2110, if God's a-coming She oughta make it by then (see Chapter 1 "The Rebirth of Gaia"). Maybe She'll look around Herself and say "Guess it's time for the Judgment Day" woah-ohhh! (see Chapter 34 "Provisional Arrangements for the Incarceration and Detainment of Climate Change Denialists, Wealth-Accumulators, Racists, Zionists, Islamophobes and Other Non-Compassionate Individuals"). (HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)

7. In the year 2125, I'm kinda wonderin' if man is gonna be alive (see "Intergenerational Report Summary and Recommendations" � clearly he's not.) But Compassionate Sustainability will survive! Woahh � ohhh! (TADAHHHH!!!! DONT THANK ME, THEY PROVIDE SUCH GREAT MATERIAL AHAHAHAHA BUT SERIOUSLY gently caress THE POOR EH AHAHAHA)

NOW I'LL BE ALL SERIOUS AND STUFF COS IM A SERIOUS COMMENTATOR YO
Meanwhile, in other news this week, recriminations and accusations flew thick and fast between members of the Canberra press gallery over their failed attempt to topple the Prime Minister of Australia, Tony Abbott.

"We were convinced we had the numbers," said one renowned political reporter, speaking on condition of anonymity. "We've been planning this thing for months."
AHAHAHA GOT YA! THE MEDIA IS A JOKE TOO, WATCH ME BREAK THE 4TH WALL ITS SUPER SMOOTH

Insiders suggest that the co-ordinated attempt to run as many fictitious or trivial stories as possible all at the same time, as long as they mentioned either Peta Credlin or Prince Philip, and pretend they were genuine news articles, was designed to have the desired effect of rallying others journalists to jump on the bandwagon. "Once we had a few conservatives on board, the momentum was unstoppable," said another. "Before long, there wasn't a political correspondent worth their salt who dared miss out on running an anti-Abbott story."

AHAHAHA THOSE LEFTY JOURNOS WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND CANT WAIT TO TRAWL YOUR METADATA SO WE CAN THREATEN YOUR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS BUT IN THE MEANTIME SHUT UP AND TAKE A JOKE YOU KILLJOYS

However, others believe that the plot was ruined when some ill-disciplined columnists became too desperate to get their story on to the front page. "We had one bloke with this crazy yarn about how Abbott and Credlin wanted to invade Russia and nuke Iran. That's when our carefully-laid plans started unravelling."
THERE'S AN ENDING TO THIS WAIT FOR IT

Others believe the desire to topple the Prime Minister was driven by poor opinion pieces. "The op-eds have been getting really boring for months now," said one well-known editor, "and our readers were switching off. We knew we had to do something dramatic to liven up those middle pages."
BOOMSHALALAKKA!!! I AM SIRIUS COMMENTATOR AND THEY KEEP PAYING ME TO DO THIS poo poo HAHAHA BUT SERIOUSLY I SUCK AND ALL I HAVE IS UNINTENTIONAL IRONY LEFT

This is what you get when a self-regarding libertarian thinks he is a funny guy. poo poo maybe it's a cry for help, maybe it's all too much for him and its just hysterical giggling.

ewe2 fucked around with this message at 12:21 on Mar 7, 2015

# ? Mar 7, 2015 11:59

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

ewe2 posted:

Speaking of reams of crap, Rowan Dean posted this filth in the AFR behind the paywall but thanks to a goon I can inflict it upon you all. Said goon doesn't understand it, so I shall help, my contributions in bold:

This is what you get when a self-regarding libertarian thinks he is a funny guy. poo poo maybe it's a cry for help, maybe it's all too much for him and its just hysterical giggling.

It's incredible how up themselves people in advertising are.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 12:12

Serrath: Mar 17, 2005; I have nothing of value to contribute; Ham Wrangler

Sulla-Marius 88 posted:

If you let women become doctors people will literally die.

I don't know if you're being hyperbolic but this is literally the position of the surgical college.

If you want to know <why> surgical specialties are the way they are, or at least what the people in these specialties tell themselves, its the fact that surgery is premised quite a lot on constant repetition of techniques and anatomy. If you actually scrub in with an experienced surgeon, there's a level of automaticity that is dizzying to see; they're performed x technique so many times and in so many variations that their muscle memory has kicked in and there is no real thought involved in their actions. The logic is that, to obtain this level of mastery at surgery requires constant repetition over years, every day, without interruption. If we allow surgeons to work less than 80 hours a week, if we allow surgeons to take 6 months off to have a child, if we allow surgeons to kick off work early because their child is sick, we break up the constant repetition of their techniques, impacting their encoding of the techniques to whatever part of the brain that will one day store it as an automatic routine.

If women happen to be disproportionally impacted by this style of training, it's not sexism; it's not the college of surgeons saying "don't have a child", it's the college simply saying that our training is premised on constant and routine repetition of material until you no longer have to think about it. Long breaks are anathema to this goal.

Of course, to believe this, you'll have to ignore a pretty constant stream of research evidence emerging from Scandinavian countries which have passed, within their medical colleges, laws dictating how many hours surgical registrars can work and mandating both maternity <and> paternity leave and have shown that these allowances have little to no discernible impact on future skills as a surgeon. But when you mention these studies you get a lot of humming and hawing before someone mutters about Australia being different from Norway or someone changing the subject to something else.

But it's not like these polices emerged from the ether as a way to punish surgical registrars or to be unimaginably cruel to women; they're simply premised on a very flawed axiom and changing the culture of surgery would first require correcting this position.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 12:24

open24hours: Jan 7, 2001

Maybe they should force men to take six months off if they father a baby, whether they like it or not.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 12:31

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Can someone explain to me what the controversy is about phonics and why Pyne has such a hard-on for them.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 12:58

open24hours: Jan 7, 2001

Terrified of ebonics.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 13:01

Senor Tron: May 26, 2006

Jumpingmanjim posted:

It's incredible how up themselves people in advertising are.

Went to see Wil Anderson the other night and he did a bit about how he gets people coming up to him saying they are trying to get into advertising because of Gruen and how they are taking entirely the wrong message from that show.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 13:19

drowned in pussy juice: Oct 13, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Jumpingmanjim posted:

Can someone explain to me what the controversy is about phonics and why Pyne has such a hard-on for them.

It's a first language learning technique that stresses the importance of learning words piecemeal as compounds of their sounds and letters and it was the primary method of teaching language in schools for a very long time until linguistic theory started to develop a bit more sophistication and then it was abandoned completely in favour of teaching kids whole words and now the research indicates a combination of both approaches works best but educational fuckwits seem to think they know better than the research because phonics is how they were taught

drowned in pussy juice fucked around with this message at 13:46 on Mar 7, 2015

# ? Mar 7, 2015 13:22

The Peccadillo: Mar 4, 2013; We Have Important Work To Do

Senor Tron posted:

Went to see Wil Anderson the other night and he did a bit about how he gets people coming up to him saying they are trying to get into advertising because of Gruen and how they are taking entirely the wrong message from that show.

Gruen's a super good tool for that industry, I don't think he's super right about where the message gets hosed up. Information about the effects and conscientiousness of advertising is not anywhere near as helpful a tool to the consumer as it is the advertiser.

I am legit surprised that guy was surprised.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 14:40

Jonah Galtberg: Feb 11, 2009

cpaf posted:

lmao

i was just posting the comment i would have posted in response if i'd seen that comment on the real site you can't own me

# ? Mar 7, 2015 15:25

Jonah Galtberg: Feb 11, 2009

cpaf posted:

Jonah are you tied into some sort of SMS alert system that warns you when people make incorrect posts in this thread

If you think I respond to every bad post or every post that I think is dumb or whatever then lol

# ? Mar 7, 2015 15:26

sarcastx: Feb 26, 2005

didn't check on the thread for like 4 days, come back and everyone's all like

# ? Mar 7, 2015 15:39

Fruity Gordo: Aug 5, 2013; Neurotic, Impotent Rage!

EvilElmo posted:

The Greens, the party for young people.

Milne gave a speech last night at a NSW Young Greens party that was actually legit good imo and she quoted Emma Goldman (the one about revolution and dancing, so not earth shatteringly cool, but it was good fanservice bc NSWYG are the anarchistest Greens). She must have been drunk, since she was already there when I arrived relatively on time and $150 was gone from the tab.

When she bailed I was outside having a cigarette and shitposting and she and (I think) her partner bowled up to me and she was like NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SEE YOU AT MARDI GRAS TOMORROW, so she either has an excellent gaydar or an excellent memory (it's the former). All things considered she has been on good form this weekend and I think I like her bc it's a nice thing to do to pretend to remember someone who is effectively an underling though technically not, and make an effort to say hi when you could easily walk straight past them without them noticing.

I don't go to Mardi Gras anymore tho bc that poo poo is too corporate and exclusionary. :c00lbutt:

# ? Mar 7, 2015 15:42

The Peccadillo: Mar 4, 2013; We Have Important Work To Do

A friend'a mine's starting a wing of the ACT Sex Party, but this was a guy who recently started an ACT Katter wing. I think he just wants a party where he can do any crazy old poo poo he wants and still be able to run in a real position, that affects the public.

What I'm saying is, I'm officially joining the Greens.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:07

Les Affaires: Nov 15, 2004

MC Eating Disorder posted:

It's a first language learning technique that stresses the importance of learning words piecemeal as compounds of their sounds and letters and it was the primary method of teaching language in schools for a very long time until linguistic theory started to develop a bit more sophistication and then it was abandoned completely in favour of teaching kids whole words and now the research indicates a combination of both approaches works best but educational fuckwits seem to think they know better than the research because phonics is how they were taught

There's a fraction too much diction.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:10

Fruity Gordo: Aug 5, 2013; Neurotic, Impotent Rage!

I'll fraction your diction if u no what I mean

# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:11

SadisTech: Jun 26, 2013; Clem.

Fruity Gordo posted:

I'll fraction your diction if u no what I mean

# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:17

Les Affaires: Nov 15, 2004

That pun was the wurst.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:28

Fruity Gordo: Aug 5, 2013; Neurotic, Impotent Rage!

SadisTech posted:

Preparing your poos for a low-flow toilet, I see.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:34

Fruity Gordo: Aug 5, 2013; Neurotic, Impotent Rage!

Fruity Gordo posted:

Preparing my posts for a low-flow toilet, I see.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:35

hooman: Oct 11, 2007; This guy seems legit.; Fun Shoe

Fruity Gordo posted:

Preparing your poos for a low-flow toilet, I see.

What do you eat?

Fruity Gordo posted:

Preparing my posts for a low-flow toilet, I see.

WHAT DO YOU TYPE????

# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:36

Fruity Gordo: Aug 5, 2013; Neurotic, Impotent Rage!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgWn7zbgxZ4

# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:40

Skellybones: May 31, 2011; Fun Shoe

Australia

# ? Mar 7, 2015 16:43

Wrestlepig: Feb 25, 2011; my mum says im cool; Toilet Rascal

EvilElmo posted:

The Greens, the party for young people.

Got no problem with this, anarcho-grandmas are the coolest people in the universe.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 22:20

AVeryLargeRadish: Aug 19, 2011; I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO NOT BE A WEIRD SEXUAL CREEP ABOUT PREPUBESCENT ANIME GIRLS, READ ALL ABOUT IT HERE!!!

Shadeoses posted:

Australia

Ban this sick filth.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 22:48

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# ? May 26, 2024 12:13

Tirade: Jul 17, 2001; Cybertron must act decisively to prevent and oppose acts of genocide and violations of international robot rights law and to bring perpetrators before the Decepticon Justice Division; Pillbug

The Peccadillo posted:

A friend'a mine's starting a wing of the ACT Sex Party, but this was a guy who recently started an ACT Katter wing. I think he just wants a party where he can do any crazy old poo poo he wants and still be able to run in a real position, that affects the public.

What I'm saying is, I'm officially joining the Greens.

Haha you're friends with Stephen Bailey. He's a nice guy for a libertarian.

# ? Mar 7, 2015 22:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Auspol March - C U Next Trollday, Auspol

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