OSHA, more like Oh Shiiiiiiiiiiit

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > OSHA, more like Oh Shiiiiiiiiiiit

0haiThere: Feb 18, 2015; Looks like you're in the barrel today.

Yawgmoth posted:

I am so much more okay with this than I am with the giant fuckoff monster spider with an army of baby fuckoff monster spiders.

You should watch this

# ? Mar 7, 2015 17:30

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 12:17

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

When in doubt, just follow the instructions.

# ? Mar 8, 2015 00:03

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Yawgmoth posted:

I am so much more okay with this than I am with the giant fuckoff monster spider with an army of baby fuckoff monster spiders.

Plus that snake looks like it's in torpor digesting something (or dead), while the spiders are in active "feed us now!" mode.

0haiThere posted:

You should watch this

Hm, spider discussion... Liveleak link... I think I'll let someone braver than me click that one.

# ? Mar 8, 2015 00:16

Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

flosofl posted:

Hm, spider discussion... Liveleak link... I think I'll let someone braver than me click that one.

drink idiots crush somewhat largish spider with wine bottle, baby spiders on mama spiders back less than amused

# ? Mar 8, 2015 00:18

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

It's always a good idea to leave spiders alone, you're a lot more likely to get bit when you try to squish them.

If it's a big problem then get a jar and move them.

# ? Mar 8, 2015 00:37

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

if theyre too big to ignore and dont cooperate with my catch and release program, they're asking to get squashed. sorry buddy, you had your chance :commissar:

# ? Mar 8, 2015 01:00

Powerful Two-Hander: Mar 10, 2004; Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.

Say Nothing posted:

When in doubt, just follow the instructions.

Bullshit that would last all of 5 minutes before someone painted out the first line.

# ? Mar 8, 2015 02:12

Haruharuharuko: Mar 24, 2008; Yeah I lied; so what is the truth?

# ? Mar 8, 2015 06:20

C.M. Kruger: Oct 28, 2013

quote:

This comes under the heading "truth is sometimes stranger than fiction".

That is a TAV-8B assigned to VMAT-203 in Cherry Point. They experienced hung landing gear (repeat gripe on that jet) and contacted base for troubleshooting. The EP involves cycling some circuit breakers, cycling the gear, and requesting visual inspection. If none of that works (which it didn't), you blow down the gear.

At some point, the squadron let the MAG CO what was going on (for what reason, I have no idea). He was worried that if they blew the gear down and the nose gear still hung up, it would crack the frame of one of the scarce T-birds. He directed that the pilot do a gear up vertical landing. It would crush the strakes and probably FOD the motor, but it's better than cracking the frame. He directed the mattresses to be placed under the nose.

When the pilot heard about all of this, he refused to do it unless he heard it directly from the MAG CO. The MAG CO got on the radio and told him to do it. The landing was pretty unremarkable, despite the photos. The damage was limited to the engine (Fodded), and the strakes (crushed). Expensive, but not the end of the world. When they jacked it up, they we able to blow the gear down with no problems.

This is when the story gets even weirder. Once the jet was in the hangar, relatively undamaged, an EZ-go golf cart came flying into the hangar and smashed into the jet, causing some D-level repair damage.

It turns out that LCpl. Schmuckatelli was huffing keyboard cleaner before making his parts run in the EZ-go. He got really dizzy, lost consiousness, and the cart went out of control. It drove directly into the hangar at full speed through a gap in the hangar doors and smashed the jet. Like I said, the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. You couldn't make up something that bizarre.

By the way, the Harrier CAN land on asphalt (or dirt, or grass, etc). It just can't do a vertical landing on anything except concrete, steel, or AM2 matting. It will melt right through it. A Harrier at idle, with the nozzles in the hoverstop (down), will make a nice large pool of molten asphalt on a runway.

# ? Mar 8, 2015 10:16

Naturally Selected: Nov 28, 2007; by Cyrano4747

That's also the one where the mattresses did more damage/fed more and larger FOD to the engine than it would have gotten if it just bellied it, if memory serves. Because the marines should not be allowed to handle anything more sophisticated than a sharpened stick.

Naturally Selected fucked around with this message at 12:02 on Mar 8, 2015

# ? Mar 8, 2015 11:59

IPCRESS: May 27, 2012

Haruharuharuko posted:

How the hell do you go about getting the operator out of the skid steer at this point? Just have them lower the forks and try to fold the tank down, or would you need to try to cut it?

# ? Mar 8, 2015 15:46

TontoCorazon: Aug 18, 2007

IPCRESS posted:

How the hell do you go about getting the operator out of the skid steer at this point? Just have them lower the forks and try to fold the tank down, or would you need to try to cut it?

That guy is going to have to live there for the rest of his life. They'll funnel food and water but it's going to be a rough life.

# ? Mar 8, 2015 16:01

Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

IPCRESS posted:

How the hell do you go about getting the operator out of the skid steer at this point? Just have them lower the forks and try to fold the tank down, or would you need to try to cut it?

you could probably get him out with ladders but the metal pipe is going to have to be cut if you want the forklift back

# ? Mar 8, 2015 16:46

AKZ: Nov 5, 2009

What? No. It slid onto it, you can pull it off of it. Might take a couple guys and another bobcat, but isn't like an end-game scenario or something.

# ? Mar 8, 2015 17:12

Uthor: Jul 9, 2006; Gummy Bear Heaven ... It's where I go when the world is too mean.

AKZ posted:

What? No. It slid onto it, you can pull it off of it. Might take a couple guys and another bobcat, but isn't like an end-game scenario or something.

And then it slips over the second bobcat and the circle of life continues.

# ? Mar 8, 2015 17:27

Fuck You And Diebold: Sep 15, 2004; by Athanatos

Uthor posted:

And then it slips over the second bobcat and the circle of life continues.

Time works the same way.

# ? Mar 8, 2015 18:06

Haruharuharuko: Mar 24, 2008; Yeah I lied; so what is the truth?

Old school crash tests

# ? Mar 9, 2015 01:06

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

gently caress.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xf243Pj0S-Y

# ? Mar 9, 2015 01:17

IndianaZoidberg: Aug 21, 2011; My name isnt slick, its Zoidberg. JOHN F***ING ZOIDBERG!

From my personal collection. :stonklol:

(The pictures where incase he fell and I had to try to explain how he died)

http://imgur.com/a/JwLJC

You should really not ride a crank tower all the way up...or ever get on it. OSHA has no influence on the world of corporate entertainment.

By the way, this is what he was riding.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 04:25

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

TontoCorazon posted:

That guy is going to have to live there for the rest of his life. They'll funnel food and water but it's going to be a rough life.

It might not be so bad.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 04:35

hailthefish: Oct 24, 2010

IndianaZoidberg posted:

From my personal collection. (The pictures where incase he fell and I had to try to explain how he died)

http://imgur.com/a/JwLJC

You should really not ride a crank tower all the way up...or ever get on it. OSHA has no influence on the world of corporate entertainment.

By the way, this is what he was riding.

He looks like he's one particularly vigorous sneeze away from learning a lot more about the physics of lever systems than he ever wanted to know.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 04:38

jetz0r: May 10, 2003; Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.

IndianaZoidberg posted:

From my personal collection. (The pictures where incase he fell and I had to try to explain how he died)

http://imgur.com/a/JwLJC

You should really not ride a crank tower all the way up...or ever get on it. OSHA has no influence on the world of corporate entertainment.

By the way, this is what he was riding.

fffffffffffffffff

Those things are so awful to use when they're just lifting set pieces. Trusting your life to a bouncy piece of poo poo crank lift that won't go up or down smoothy seems like a poor choice.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 04:50

Dillbag: Mar 4, 2007; Click here to join Lem Lee in the Hell Of Being Cut To Pieces; Nap Ghost

http://i.imgur.com/JuhVO7u.gif

e. i didn't know she dead

Dillbag fucked around with this message at 08:21 on Mar 9, 2015

# ? Mar 9, 2015 05:13

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

Dillbag posted:

whut the fek

# ? Mar 9, 2015 05:24

IndianaZoidberg: Aug 21, 2011; My name isnt slick, its Zoidberg. JOHN F***ING ZOIDBERG!

jetz0r posted:

fffffffffffffffff

Those things are so awful to use when they're just lifting set pieces. Trusting your life to a bouncy piece of poo poo crank lift that won't go up or down smoothy seems like a poor choice.

If was that very reason why he was doing this. There was not enough weight on this one (there where 5 of them holding up a truss) to get it to come in all the way. So he got on it from a ladder, had another guy crank him up then his weight was enough to get it all the way down.

I even told him that I don't know how he got his pants on in the morning because his balls are so big. I would never loving do that. Not a chance.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 05:36

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Dillbag posted:

What on earth

# ? Mar 9, 2015 06:01

Haruharuharuko: Mar 24, 2008; Yeah I lied; so what is the truth?

Dillbag posted:

As funny as this looks you may want to Nws that as the woman there actually died.

Story if I remember is a weighted pallet got away from an employee and rode down that ramp and did what gravity and heavy objects do to people.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 06:28

Tony Homo: Oct 30, 2014; by zen death robot

Haruharuharuko posted:

As funny as this looks you may want to Nws that as the woman there actually died.

Story if I remember is a weighted pallet got away from an employee and rode down that ramp and did what gravity and heavy objects do to people.

its even more hilarious now!! :cawg:

# ? Mar 9, 2015 06:35

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Haruharuharuko posted:

As funny as this looks you may want to Nws that as the woman there actually died.

Story if I remember is a weighted pallet got away from an employee and rode down that ramp and did what gravity and heavy objects do to people.

It was apparently not a worker or a pallet.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 06:51

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Haruharuharuko posted:

As funny as this looks you may want to Nws that as the woman there actually died.

Story if I remember is a weighted pallet got away from an employee and rode down that ramp and did what gravity and heavy objects do to people.

The gif is fine, it doesn't show her dieing or even bleeding or anything. Sure, she dies later, but everyone dies later.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 06:56

jetz0r: May 10, 2003; Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.

This thread is turning back into 'post the snuffiest snuff pics u got'

# ? Mar 9, 2015 06:56

EMILY BLUNTS: Jan 1, 2005

jetz0r posted:

This thread is turning back into 'post the snuffiest snuff pics u got'

[The gif where the guy on the electric scooter repeatedly rams into an elevator door when it closes, but by the time he breaks through, the car is many floors away]

# ? Mar 9, 2015 07:37

Gaybee: Jul 16, 2002

EMILY BLUNTS posted:

[The gif where the guy on the electric scooter repeatedly rams into an elevator door when it closes, but by the time he breaks through, the car is many floors away]

lol

# ? Mar 9, 2015 07:42

Volcott: Mar 30, 2010; People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

EMILY BLUNTS posted:

[The gif where the guy on the electric scooter repeatedly rams into an elevator door when it closes, but by the time he breaks through, the car is many floors away]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUstxIZCmWc

Trigger warning: death.

# ? Mar 9, 2015 08:24

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Haruharuharuko posted:

As funny as this looks you may want to Nws that as the woman there actually died.

And yet you just quoted it?

# ? Mar 9, 2015 08:25

I'm Crap: Aug 15, 2001

Volcott posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUstxIZCmWc

Trigger warning: death.

what a dumb rear end in a top hat

# ? Mar 9, 2015 08:35

EMILY BLUNTS: Jan 1, 2005

MEANWHILE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=womDBkyuRnE&t=103s

# ? Mar 9, 2015 10:52

IndianaZoidberg: Aug 21, 2011; My name isnt slick, its Zoidberg. JOHN F***ING ZOIDBERG!

EMILY BLUNTS posted:

MEANWHILE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=womDBkyuRnE&t=103s

I think I heard on QI that there have only ever been 2 deaths from a free fall elevator. Hell, even the woman that was operating the elevator in the Empire State Building survived when a plane flew into it in the '40s and sheared the cables and destroyed the emergency breaks.

gently caress flying. Elevators are the safest way to travel. :rms: