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FrozenVent posted:People get an operation notice, reply all (sometime with confidential information!) to get clarifications, and the traditional dance of reply all begins. I wish outlook had a warning pop up when're you're replying all to more than five people or whatever. Outlook 2010+ does have a thing that pops up near the address bar if there are more than like 10 people in the distribution group that you're emailing. However, if it's a third party mailing list that Outlook can't fetch the membership for, it can't do that obviously. Further emailchat: Google Apps recently had an issue that screwed up the display names for all of our groups, so they looked like some sort of techo beat: "All Employees in in in in in in office in in in in Seattle".
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Mar 8, 2015 19:37
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We now have a buddy system for when we have questions. I really resent the fact that this whole place is run like a high school social club.
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Mar 9, 2015 16:30
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FebrezeNinja posted:Around the third reply, some annoyed and possibly evil person responds to one of these people, saying "Thanks". They also edited the subject line to include "MUST REPLY TO ALL". I want to buy this person a beer. Kim Jong Il posted:We are Fortune 500 and not only don't have automatic backup, we pretty much can't use anything but a narrow list of approved programs, and more is getting banned by the day. Because some idiot clicked on a Trojan last week, now GMail is banned and we can't send zip files. I don't understand how they expect us to get files to our vendors at all, never mind someone who actually has clients. Our IT's effectiveness is absolutely a 0, to the point where I wonder how we get anything done at all. I am the IT department for this place. Sucks because I have to deal with MY EMAILS and I CAN'T PRINT, but on the other hand I have total freedom to install whatever I want. Not really an enviable position to be in as long as there's a sultan manchild running the place that thinks computers are powered by black magic and wishes, though.  1500quidporsche posted:We now have a buddy system for when we have questions. How does this work, you have to hold hands and walk to the manager's office together to make sure one of you doesn't get lost?
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Mar 9, 2015 19:40
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Poop Cupcake posted:How does this work, you have to hold hands and walk to the manager's office together to make sure one of you doesn't get lost? Much worse. Rather than talking to the person next to you or walking like five feet to talk to somebody else we are now required to phone up our "mentor" in an other regional department halfway across the country...
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Mar 9, 2015 20:13
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1500quidporsche posted:Much worse. Rather than talking to the person next to you or walking like five feet to talk to somebody else we are now required to phone up our "mentor" in an other regional department halfway across the country... How is this even remotely enforceable? Is your manager eavesdropping on every conversation you have with people in the office to make sure you're not asking work questions that should be directed to your mentor? Are they keeping phone/email records to make sure you've talked to your mentor x number of times? It just seems like a clusterfuck.
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Mar 9, 2015 20:34
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1500quidporsche posted:Much worse. Rather than talking to the person next to you or walking like five feet to talk to somebody else we are now required to phone up our "mentor" in an other regional department halfway across the country... Find a new job, your secret training the people on the other side of the country.
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Mar 9, 2015 20:45
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1500quidporsche posted:Much worse. Rather than talking to the person next to you or walking like five feet to talk to somebody else we are now required to phone up our "mentor" in an other regional department halfway across the country... I'm sorry. My brain is refusing to process what you just wrote. So if I need to know who manages a spreadsheet I need to call some jackass in Fresno and then do a group call to my manager thirty feet down the hall? Why!? Also, what is a "mentor" in this context. Are you still in training or something?
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Mar 9, 2015 20:55
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Sydin posted:How is this even remotely enforceable? Is your manager eavesdropping on every conversation you have with people in the office to make sure you're not asking work questions that should be directed to your mentor? Are they keeping phone/email records to make sure you've talked to your mentor x number of times? It isn't enforceable at all other than I suspect that two people are bitching that they get too many questions so they'll probably be quick to bitch if you ask them. I've seen alot of stupid ideas rolled out in this department but this has to be the worst. I've bitched about getting dumb questions here in the past but the fact is our training process is garbage and there's so many cases where you go "I've never encountered a variant of this problem before let me just run it by somebody to be sure". I'm really getting sick of our day to day tasks here getting made impossibly difficult as I see my manager on the phone for meetings that decide this poo poo playing candy crush on her iPhone and obviously not giving a poo poo. Since I've started they've pretty much had to double the times for all activities on our tracker because everything we do ends up suffering a death by a thousand cuts. We had like one week where they changed our program so that we didn't need to manually edit the proposals generated in word anywhere near as often as we were, then changed something else so you absolutely had to manually edit every document. Edit: readingatwork posted:Also, what is a "mentor" in this context. Are you still in training or something? They regionalized that department about two years ago, so a lot of those people are more senior then people here. Some aren't though and there are plenty of duds on that list of mentors including mine. To put this in context we've had a 3 month stretch last year where we were consistently helping them out with their work load. F1DriverQuidenBerg fucked around with this message at 21:07 on Mar 9, 2015 |
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Mar 9, 2015 21:02
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This person has a critical position and has a lot on their plate! Let's route a lot of unnecessary, time-wasting phone calls to them so they can impart their sagely knowledge to the rest of the staff! What do you mean you can't get all your work done, you're not using your time effectively!   We call those types of calls chicken biryani at the office. The accounting department is overwhelmed in a tidal wave of them. All of the employees want to talk to them about everything, even if it's an issue that someone else in the office handles. Especially if it's an issue that someone else in the office handles, actually. They'll talk to me about something and then call back right away demanding accounting because they don't like what I told them. A lot of times they just want to gossip and chat about inane poo poo like what restaurants have good chicken biryani. Not even kidding. It makes what should be a 30 second call take upwards of 5 minutes. Multiply that by a few hundred employees. There's really no good way to hang up on them without being super rude about it, either. That poo poo wastes a ton of everyone's time.
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Mar 9, 2015 21:49
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Sounds like you should record a review of your city's best chicken biryani as your greeting and just let calls go to voicemail. Please do this.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:03
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There is nothing that feels quite as good as transferring 90% of my scope of work to a colleague who was light because his fed doesn't care and my assignment in DC ends in 3 weeks. He took it up right away and ran with it so now all I have do is some minor documentation and close out of some on going tasks that I've had on my plate before I jet off back to WA state and get away from FedLand to actually do some work in a non-toxic environment. Have fun with users of our software bitching at you because they still can't figure it out after 7 years, buddy, and thanks again. 
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Mar 10, 2015 01:42
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Fire Safety Plus training time again! 30 minutes of screens you can't skip (they're on a timer and the 'next' button doesn't appear until it expires) and dumb questions. Gee, I wonder if I should use a water extinguisher on an electrical fire... The result of all of this is, of course, that everyone runs the training on a second monitor so they can get on with their work, and occasionally move the mouse over to mash 'next' or answer the insultingly easy quiz required in order to mash 'next'. No-one pays attention, no-one learns anything, but the company meets its HSE obligations. Edit: and the whole thing is identical every year. Which of the following is not flammable? A) LPG B) Petrol C) Carbon dioxide *sigh* rolleyes fucked around with this message at 13:24 on Mar 10, 2015 |
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Mar 10, 2015 13:20
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Nothing like receiving a major report with 'accurate' spelled 'acuratte' in the first paragraph.
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Mar 10, 2015 14:39
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This has been in place for a while but seeing as I just ranted about dumb changes and I got reminded of it this morning it seems appropriate. Our program we use for pricing and producing proposals is from the early 90s. And since then group benefits have totally changed so we have about 20 extra spreadsheets that we use as needed, usually about 5 of them will need to be used on an RTQ to get around our program's limitations. The word has come down that we no longer can save a copy of these spreadsheets to our desktop or edit them in any way shape or form. Instead we need to pull them off our glitchy, slow web portal for every quote. On a good day if you're already on the page with these spreadsheets it will take you about a minute to download and open a file off of there instead of the five seconds on your desktop....
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Mar 10, 2015 16:13
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Sure, let's simply re-brand failed programs! That will make them more viable and successful! 
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Mar 10, 2015 16:31
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Image Removed. One Dream. One Team. THE PRIVILEGE TO SERVE. The future is not ours. We have to earn it by delivering an unparalleled healthcare experience and racing for the privilege to serve the consumer. Blah blah. I mean, sure it's technically true, but "THE PRIVILEGE TO SERVE" is a lovely, lovely slogan. Edit: Oh, and not only did lightning strike our factory, it also struck our factory in Puerto Rico the same day. And a fudge truck delivering fudge for today's stupid presentation caught fire halfway here, burning up all the fudge. 
Sundae fucked around with this message at 22:02 on Apr 5, 2015 |
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Mar 10, 2015 17:03
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It's not my company, but the hospital I go to switched their slogan to be 'Human First'. I know they meant it to be like, we see you as people rather than numbers, but it gave off this weird vibe of either being from some sort of scifi dystopia where alien races are oppressed by human supremacists, or a terrible AI desperately attempting to blend in. Particularly because all the posters were people staring resolutely into the future like a bad propaganda spread.
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Mar 10, 2015 17:10
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^^^^ Going for a District 9 vibe? Sundae posted:I secretly took a bunch of photos during our stupid presentation just now. If I can get these loaded / not too blurry, I can show off our new motto / bullshit sides. It gives me some satisfaction that causality itself hates your employer.
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Mar 10, 2015 18:12
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rolleyes posted:It gives me some satisfaction that causality itself hates your employer. It gets even better. Apparently a bird got inside the manufacturing suite through a loading dock and took a big old dive-bomb right down the hatch of a bin full of drug on its way to the packaging line. Whole thing's ruined. The universe has had enough of our poo poo, I think.
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Mar 10, 2015 19:08
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Sundae posted:And a fudge truck delivering fudge for today's stupid presentation caught fire halfway here, burning up all the fudge. Why do I picture your company still trying to serve this to you guys anyway?
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Mar 10, 2015 19:12
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Sundae posted:I secretly took a bunch of photos during our stupid presentation just now. If I can get these loaded / not too blurry, I can show off our new motto / bullshit sides. Your company hates everyone on it's payroll doesn't it?
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Mar 10, 2015 19:13
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C'mon, Sundae, if theres ever a sign from God you should get out (on top of all the other bullshit) its this.
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Mar 10, 2015 19:20
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Zero Gravitas posted:C'mon, Sundae, if theres ever a sign from God you should get out (on top of all the other bullshit) its this. All over this. I just have to make it to July without the Great Deluge sweeping away our parking lot or locusts or something.
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Mar 10, 2015 19:30
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Im reminded of that " i sent a guy in a canoe, rescue boat and a helicopter, just what the hell else did you want?!" joke.
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Mar 10, 2015 19:34
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Well, if God sends me a way out of the enormous bill I'd get if I left before July, I'd be out even sooner. Unfortunately, contracts are contracts and I bet my place is a big enough rear end to enforce it.
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Mar 10, 2015 19:48
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Sundae posted:One Dream. One Team. THE PRIVILEGE TO SERVE. You say that, but let's be honest here, "THE PRIVILEGE TO SERVE" is almost certainly how upper management contextualizes you and your coworker's time there.
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Mar 10, 2015 19:54
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Sundae posted:All over this. I just have to make it to July without the Great Deluge sweeping away our parking lot or locusts or something. Boss, The liquid cough medicine line is producing human blood infected with smallpox. Please advise and do the needful. Kind Regards, Renegret
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Mar 10, 2015 20:16
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Just got laid off (which is a good thing because I was quitting next week anyway so severance package!!) They laid off 30% of the workforce it seems. They're keeping all of the management, VPs, and execs though. Of course they are. I'm just glad to be out of the hellhole that company turned into.
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Mar 10, 2015 21:24
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Sundae posted:THE PRIVILEGE TO SERVE. Service Guarantees Citizenship! Would You Like To Know More?
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Mar 10, 2015 21:39
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Shadowhand00 posted:Just got laid off (which is a good thing because I was quitting next week anyway so severance package!!) I'm quitting AND you want to give me several thousand dollars in severance? Hot drat!
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Mar 10, 2015 21:49
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Shadowhand00 posted:Just got laid off (which is a good thing because I was quitting next week anyway so severance package!!)
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Mar 10, 2015 21:49
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Client corporate purchasing can get lost. You guys realize that I know exactly what your discount target is, so when I submit something to the business unit I just tell them that you're going to take a cut out of it so the actual end price will likely be X-6%? If you didn't bother with the charade, I'd price at X-6%.
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Mar 10, 2015 21:51
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Pleads posted:This was my experience (at a pretty small company, 35 employees maybe) and I just laughed. Two waves of layoffs, 75% of the company gone, and they keep the managers responsible for the failures. Who were, I don't know, now expected to program code and maintain databases and provide technical support? This is exactly the situation I am in and I am keeping my fingers crossed.
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Mar 10, 2015 22:16
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Pleads posted:This was my experience (at a pretty small company, 35 employees maybe) and I just laughed. Two waves of layoffs, 75% of the company gone, and they keep the managers responsible for the failures. Who were, I don't know, now expected to program code and maintain databases and provide technical support? That is exactly my thought. They laid off a bunch of engineering staff and what seems to be some of their better engineering managers. People who are left are also the people who were responsible for Yahoo's downfall so.... I probably should have read the tea leaves sooner.
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Mar 10, 2015 22:39
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So anyone remember the issue with the ginormous text files I had to turn into Excel and was barred from completing an automated parser to make it take less than 20 hours? While I did go ahead and finish the bloody thing (and in Access because they won't authorize Visual Studio on my machine), in a recent discussion with the boss, she finally realized how much time was involved and asked me about finishing it. I told her around an hour of debugging. She was iffy about that, then remembered I only had Access to build it in. Now, mind you, Access, used by someone who knows it, is a solid tool. It's basically a front end that uses a solid version of VB customized for databases tacked onto a really crappy file handling system so that you'll go buy SQL Server. Most of the complaints you'll hear about it come from people who either expect it to work just like SQL Server (nope, it's intentionally not as fast or effective at data manipulation), or they expect it to work just like Excel and don't know a thing about database development. I've built POS, project tracking, inventory, accounting, and data composition/manipulation/distribution (for lack of a better phrase) systems with it, and I've seen people do things up to and including games. (Battleship and Monopoly come to mind - it doesn't do animation.) Hell, Blue Cross and Ford use the program extensively. My boss is one of the people who hates Access with a holy passion, despite the fact that half of the things we do use it in some way, shape or form, and that Access was why she hired me in the first place. Because of that, despite being told that I could have a parser up and running inside an hour, she decided to hand the task off to one of the staff programmers, expecting it to be done in an hour or two. About 20 man-hours later, I'm presented with an .exe file that automatically parses all files in a hardcoded directory, inserts necessary header info, and spits out csv files. It runs in the command prompt. There is no opportunity to change everything, and I still need to load the csv file into Excel, format the cells so that account numbers don't show as scientific notation and then manually change all the dates from "yyyymmdd" strings to actual dates. And insert spacing, shading, and all that other crap that makes spreadsheets legible. All stuff my parser did automatically - along with allowing you to select the file to be processed, select where you want the output, export the data as an actual spreadsheet, and, oh yeah, HAVE A FREAKING USER INTERFACE. And this is considered superior to my Access-based parser.  Time to send out a new wave of resumes.
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Mar 10, 2015 23:14
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Sup new stupid slogan buddy! We had a total of an hour and a half of mandatory meetings rolling out our new slogan, and someone did the math and realized that they wasted over $20,000 just to pay us all to sit in the meetings to tell us about it not including all the new banners we have and such. They're rolling out this new slogan/mission statement to get everyone pumped to help save money to increase our profit margin 
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Mar 10, 2015 23:52
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Hah. I did similar calculations for a similar training scenario once. Management found out - turns out that trying to save the company money by pointing out that the "saving the company money" program is not, in fact, saving money are not the actions of a team player.
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Mar 10, 2015 23:57
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The company isn't even doing badly, they routinely turn a profit but they want to turn MORE of a profit now. Could be a lot worse I suppose. On a different subject, one of the flu strains not covered by this year's flu shot is going through our department and people are dropping like flies. It's gotten to the point where as soon as a manager hears someone cough they send them home immediately.
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Mar 11, 2015 00:10
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Taliesyn posted:So anyone remember the issue with the ginormous text files I had to turn into Excel and was barred from completing an automated parser to make it take less than 20 hours? But you won?
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Mar 11, 2015 00:18
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Snatch Duster posted:But you won? Yes and no. I have an 'official' tool that cuts 20-25 minutes off the average converstion time, but I still need to spend 5-10 minutes cleaning everything up. My home-made one allowed me to crank one out every 2 minutes. But the official ruling is that we use the other one, and it's being written into the procedures that way. Ah, well, I finished the 20 hour backlog yesterday, so using the new crappy tool once a week or so on new files won't kill me.
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Mar 11, 2015 00:21
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