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habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Man, we've had a LOT of players on this club. Grabbing screenshots of them and their statistics is more work than I anticipated. Also, it doesn't help that I've changed how I want to do the Wrexham coda.

To keep this from being another no-content week, here's my favorite "tradition" from Minnesota:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzhSpdPqexY

The high school ice hockey tournament is a huge deal in Minnesota, it's a state that's equal to Canada in it's love for hockey. For the past five years a guy in Minneapolis has been doing these "all hockey hair" teams, and every single video is five to eight minutes of joy. It makes me nostalgic for the years I lived there. Also, the video shows that the author has a shaved head, but it wasn't always thus. Check out his glamour shot on his company bio page:



That's a man who knows his flow.

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Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

So today I just found out that Wrexham is the Name is based on Men of Harlech. I hope a choir accompained by the Welsh Guards sang during the CL Final especially since it was in Wales.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jXFebAjVco
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB31MbL1kok

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.


Wrexham did not complete the Dectuple, sadly, falling to Dispersal's Luton Town 3-2 after extra time. It was a hell of a game, and one where Wrexham was bossed around for almost the entire first half. Stringel gave us the lead, then we lost it with 18 minutes left from the 12th corner we conceded on the day. Stringel gave us the lead in extra time with a goal that was definitely offside, but once again our set piece defense let us down and Dispersal stormed back to score twice more from a corner and an indirect free kick respectively.



Congratulations Dispersal! You are the champion of the Inaugural Goon Cup!



Thank you to all of the participants, it was a ton of fun.

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 20:38 on Mar 12, 2015

Dispersal
Nov 5, 2005

habeasdorkus posted:



Wrexham did not complete the Dectuple, sadly, falling to Dispersal's Luton Town 3-2 after extra time. It was a hell of a game, and one where Wrexham was bossed around for almost the entire first half. Stringel gave us the lead, then we lost it with 18 minutes left from the 12th corner we conceded on the day. Stringel gave us the lead in extra time with a goal that was definitely offside, but once again our set piece defense let us down and Dispersal stormed back to score twice more from a corner and an indirect free kick respectively.



Congratulations Dispersal! You are the champion of the Inaugural Goon Cup!



Thank you to all of the participants, it was a ton of fun.

Truly an unbelievable game and one worthy of being the final. As I said to Habe, I thought I was going to have to break out the Mourinho conspiracy talk after that offside goal from String.

Thank you again for organizing the tournament and I hope it becomes something of a tradition.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Epilogue: He wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.
May 13, 2028-May 28, 2028

In the week before the Champions League final took place, there was some minor bookkeeping.



Some of the board votes were implemented, a £140.3m budget and a seating expansion chief amongst them. I didn't monkey with the ticket prices, however, as I felt uncomfortable doing so when I wouldn't be able to see the results.



As a parting gift I've also created a commercial link to the biggest club in China, Guangzhou Evergrande. Pay no attention to the backdated date of the agreement, and don't answer any calls from FC Basel for the next few months.



Don't worry, you'll be taken care of before I leave.



Mujkic gains plaudits for breaking his own assist record, which he promptly improves by one in the Champions League final, assisting on Thiago's first.



Moctezuma's tutelage under our captain comes to an end as well, but it doesn't seem to have stuck.



Ah, and now we're all caught up.



As expected Isaac Stringel wins player of the tournament. He doesn't have a shot at Golden Boot, nor does anyone else on Wrexham, because Rocky Bastable scored a dozen goals before Real Madrid went down in the quarterfinals.



Six current and two former Dragons make the team of the tournament. So does Miso Babnik, the man who nearly won it for Juventus, and Felix Gonzalez, who cost them everything after having been sterling all game long and clearly their best player.



The Red Keep at the Racecourse Ground
May 23, 2028

(The end of seasons staff meeting is just wrapping up and the coaches and scouts are filing out of the auditorium.)

: Hey, Paul. Come here for a second.

: Sure, what is it boss? Want to schedule the friendlies for the Olympic squad?

: No... I've decided that it's time for me to leave Wrexham.

: I thought you might choose to go out on a high note.

: I've also decided that it's time for you to step down as assistant manager to the U.S. National Team.

: What?!

: I want you to succeed me at Wrexham,

: What!?

: I can't think of anyone I trust more to ensure my legacy here.

: What?!

: I want to finish off a couple things before I step down, mainly the Partizan Project and contract negotiations, but I've set up a board meeting for a week from today so I can properly step down and you can take the reigns.

: What!?

: See you then.

(THE COACH exits the room.)

: What?!



The Red Keep at the Racecourse Ground
Later That Day

(THE PLAYERS are packing up their lockers for the summer, chatting happily as they get ready for vacation and international duties as THE COACH)

: Hey guys. Thank you for an incredible year. We won eight trophies, and won every competition we entered in. And we did it while resurrecting a 150 year old formation and using it against the best managers and players in the world. You guys will forever be first among the greatest teams in history. I'm so, so proud of all of you.

: How are we going to follow this up?

: I'm sure Coach has got a plan, mate. So what's next?

(THE COACH grimaces wistfully.)

: I don't know. All I know is that I'm not going to be there to see it. I'm stepping down as manager.

(AUDIBLE GASPS come from virtually every player)

: But why? Did we do something wrong?

: I've accomplished all I can achieve at Wrexham. Moreover, the World Cup is in two years and it's the only jewel not in my crown. I need to focus on that. Also, after 14 years of coaching without a single vacation I could use a break.

(THE PLAYERS start to grumble.)

: I'll still be in touch. You all know how to reach me.

: Si, but no one uses that “gmail” anymore.

: Not since Google was proven to be a secret NSA front.

: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll look into stepping into the modern day. What are all the kids using these days?

: We just use our AlwaysOn box. The messaging apps just read your thoughts and send them like one of your generation's text messages.

: Is that the implantable computer chip that goes behind the ear?

: Uh-huh. We've all got exterior ones since you don't want to have one on when you're on the pitch or practicing. Bad header or an elbow to the noggin and boom, you've suddenly got to wait 8-12 hours at home for a technician to re-set it. But you could probably get the internal one!

: … OK. Moctezuma, I assume you know how that works?

: Oh yeah. Installation's a quick trip to the doctors. And they're great, they can do anything. I've been stream-o-consciousing this whole meeting to my followers!

: Wait, so they know I'm resigning?

: Uh... I suppose so.

: poo poo, I'm going to have to make some calls. Uh. Have a good summer. I'm so proud of you. Bye!

(THE COACH strides away quickly to get out ahead of the news of his retirement)



Facilities naturally decline over time to convey the sense of improved equipment and wear and tear on the old stuff. I wouldn't worry about this, though, both the youth and senior team facilities are still rated as “excellent,” which means they're at either 18 or 19 out of 20.



Whaaaaat? I've heard of this happening but never seen it for myself. How frustrating. Doesn't the town council know we're the reason Wrexham is on the goddamned map?! We're a half a billion pound industry in a town of 45,000!



Celtic offer about half of Patel's option, and I accept it because he stunk for them and I doubt that anyone else would pay as much. I don't care that I'm leaving Wrexham, he doesn't get to stay.



I'd be happy that you were withdrawing your request for a better deal, Rickard, but you're current one is out as five weeks from now so you're getting a contract offer regardless.



It's ten times his former wages, but he's still cheap compared to the rest of the squad. That one player making £2.5m a year is considered “cheap” shows how far the club has come since the days when £2.5m was the yearly wage budget for the entire team.



Tounkara signs through the next four years and more than doubles his wages.



Laux joins him, and the quartet of Laux, Hammatt, Tounkara, and Quiboulaz are now locked in through the next two years, with the first three being signed until 2032. It's going to be hard for my successor to screw things up, given how rock solid this team is and how young most of it's key players are.



Meteor puts pen to a new deal; at thirty years old I was leery of giving him too many years and possibly giving Wrexham an albatross contract so it's only three years long.



I also give a deal to one of our Academy players who would have been leaving on a free at the end of June. Cooke will at the very least bring in good money on the transfer market, and could be a rotation player for Wrexham in a few years.



Lastly, I trigger the extensions on Moctezuma and Bale. They're around for the next three years at bargain basement price...



As are the U18 players who are coming into their final year but who haven't cracked the first team as of yet. With that I've concluded half of my remaining business at Wrexham.



European teams tend to be fighting with one hand tied behind their back during the Olympics. That's because the European Championship takes place during the same summer, and so all of their best young players are on the senior team sent to contest the Euros. It also means that they're working with a depleted pool of players when choosing the three over-23 players on the Olympic squad. Their loss is our gain, Denmark is missing both Jacob Lundbye and Claus Damgaard, and have another eleven Olympic eligible players on their Euro roster on top of that.



My USMNT squad, on the other hand, has altogether too many midfielders, right flankers, and strikers. The over-23 selections are midfielder Bobby Padilla, goalkeeper Toninho, and right fullback Isaac Parsons. I expect to do one better than our silver at the 2024 games.



The Partizan Project also paid dividends, with three participants being named to the Olympic squad.



Have fun storming the castle!



Another 18 of our former players are on Euro squads, from the familiar faces of Shahed Parr and Chris Todd to the “who were theys” of Meilir Thornley and Ben Dixon.



I'm no longer the person to ask about these things, Hannover.



Nor should I still be privy to the club's private tax data.



And I certainly should not be allowed to set transfer policy! It was questionable that I even handled the contract extensions.



Now that the ink is dry on the loan deals that will keep the Partizan Project ongoing for another year, it's time to take my leave.



All can agree that the world may never see another team as good as this.



Goodbye, Wrexham. I'll miss you.



What are you doing, Paul?!

tomanton
May 22, 2006

beam me up, tomato
Ouch, even Simpson.

You know what they say: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBKcAc8VpIw

Chicken Doodle
May 16, 2007

:lol: Oh my god that last picture. Guess they were really loyal after all!

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Appendix: The Year in Football/Futbol/Fußball/Calcio/Soccer, 2027-2028
June 1, 2028

Wrexham

What a season.




Stringel stepped in and took right over for an aging Thiago as best striker in the world. He's 25, he'll be doing this for another five years. Our youth also performed, with Rickard, Moctezuma, and Bouzid all having double digit goal and assist totals.



We had a wage budget of about £12m in our first Premier League campaign. That would be enough to pay for Koji. We have 11 players earning over £100k/wk. We are well and truly a megabastard.



Despite the aging of some of our players we still remain a very young team. Bale, Moctezuma, Zouaghi, and Lundbye all played significant time for us. Our players are also on average the most valuable in the game, even if we still trail Manchester United on wages.



Our technical skills are silky smooth, and because our core has been together for half a decade now they play incredibly well alongside each other.



Our keepers are the best in the game. Minami is still near his peak, and Kocsis could be starting for most other teams.



Our defenders are good at marking and tackling but not great. Instead I've focused on focus on speed and recovery ability, Wrexham played a high line and I needed defenders who could get back and stop counter attacks if they were initially beaten on a ball over the top. Given the results, it clearly worked.



Our midfield does everything well and nothing great. That will likely change in coming years as Bale and Zouaghi develop into their potential.



Great heading and no jumping ability, just think of how many goals String would score if he weren't 5'9" with no vertical. We still scored an even 200 goals on the season, so I don't think anyone can talk smack about us.



Our U21 team is mainly being used as a Partizan Project holding ground as of the time of my departure, and none of the prospects are very good. The best player is probably Andrew Paredes, who's an American teenager and Partizan Project member.



Our U18 squad, though, is still loaded for bear. Even better, it's started producing kids that have a future on the senior team. Kristian Bale was the first of these, and he's being followed by Damien Campbell. Both will be superstars.

England



I was really hoping that Southampton would beat out Chelsea for the final Champions League spot, but I guess I'll have to settle for Manchester City turning into a midtable mediocrity.



Tottenham would have come back up if only they'd ditched Noel Tosh sooner. And Tackleford's going to be playing in Europe!



Colwyn Bay's hockey players are still getting used to the much bigger rink size and the referees who keep whistling them for every last poke check.



I love this game.



I love trophies.

Europe



All is back as it ought to be in Spain, with Barca atop the two Madrid clubs, and the two Madrid clubs atop everyone else.



Juventus will have to console themselves with just one of the finest seasons seen in Italy over the past several decades. They won their league by 28 points. 28! That's more than 9 wins! They clinched sometime in February!



Wolfsburg are excellent these days, winning for the second year in a row by the slimmest of margins over Bayern.



If you were wondering what TheMcD's boon was, it was loading up Eintracht Frankfurt with darts players. Even with the changes the club still couldn't gain promotion, and they've already sold off one of the wonderkids I created. Sorry, TheMcD.






Once is a fluke. Twice is impressive. Three times is the sign a new power has been born. Between their finishes and making the group stage of the Champions League in the last two years Braga now have enough money to match Porto, Sporting, and Benfica for the near future and could make the big three in Portugal into the big four.



Ajax finished in 8th despite a +20 goal differential and missed out on Europe for the first time in goodness knows how long.



Genk and Standard Liege are going to the Champions League, while Anderlecht is left out.



Galatasary wins in Turkey, while even in a down year Fener is able to gain European qualification through winning the Turkish Cup.



Celtic aren't looking too good, while 16 years after their reconstitution Rangers are back to their old selves.



I have to admit I didn't expect to win the Champions League final using the Pyramid.



Inter Milan upholds Italian honor, at least, winning the Europa League.

Asia & Australia



Perth either has a great home field advantage or a terrible one given how far everyone else has to travel to play them.



Suwon won the AFC Champions League, but couldn't quite pull off the double.



I'm not sure who I'm to pull for in a semifinal between a Qatari club and the hyper-racist Urawa Reds.

North America



Glory glory Revolution!



It's not surprising to see Chivas win a title, but the White Roosters of Queretaro can be proud in claiming their first championship in their 78 year history.



USA! USA! USA!

South America



Flamengo ran away with the Brasileiro, they've been dominant for over a decade now.



Boca wins both stages, while poor Banfield gets relegated in what must be an uncommonly high finish for a relegated club.



At least Flamengo didn't win.

International



The USA should have been in this tournament, but Paul Williams let us down. Hopefully he does better with the reins of Wrexham.



Winning the Gold Cup qualified the United States for the 2029 Confederations Cup. In 2025 we made it to the final before falling to England. I want to win.



America will have to get past Argentina, though, as they topped a feisty and surprising Peru in the Copa America.

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

What the gently caress, AI. I thought I ended up trying to cover so many eventualities that it couldn't possibly fail, and it still did. What the gently caress. Sugardaddy owner, bigger stadium, top flight coach, and a wunderkind for each of the four main positions, and they still blow it.

Well, maybe I'm going to see my players again on the national circuit now that we're going to be concentrating on that.

Who got sold off and where did they go?

kingturnip
Apr 18, 2008
In FM08, I had a Coach who was with me through spells at 12 clubs before he eventually retired.
I almost had a tear in my eye when he eventually called it a day.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
(The following is an unpublished excerpt from the Player Appendix of the Wrexham Almanac, which was released in the summer of 2028 to celebrate the club's success over the prior 15 years. It is unknown why the excerpt was not included in the Almanac.)

Stalwarts

Justin Bailey ("The Cheat Code")
Midfielder
Arrival: August 6, 2013 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C (With the club since 2013)
Player Grade: A (Only player with the club since the very beginning)

Stuart Simpson ("The Captain")
Defensive Midfielder
Arrival: August 1, 2013 on a free transfer.
Departure: June 9, 2020 to Bradford for £40k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C (Should have sold for much more)
Player Grade: B+ (Captain for five years)

Chris Todd
Centerback
Arrival: June 9, 2015 from Afan Lido for £475 transfer fee.
Departure: June 9, 2023 to Chelsea for £29.5m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: A- (Very large profit)
Player Grade: B+ (With club from League Two to winning the Champions League)

Mateo Mujkic ("Meteor")
Left Winger
Arrival: August 3, 2016 from AIS on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: A+ (A miracle that he came to Wrexham)
Player Grade: A+ (Winner of the 2026 Ballon d'Or)

Scott Shirra ("The Golden Boy")
Attacking Midfielder
Arrival: June 9, 2017 from Falkirk for £105k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: A (Nearly free, albeit biggest transfer fee to that point)
Player Grade: A+ (Everpresent in the midfield)

Matthias Laux ("Matty Law")
Centerback, Defensive Midfielder
Arrival: June 9, 2021 from Wolfsburg for £6.75m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Good price for budding star)
Player Grade: A (World class defender)


Lower League Era

Tom Cannon ("The Cannon")
Striker
Arrival: With club prior to 2013.
Departure: June 30, 2015 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C (Left on a free)
Player Grade: C- (Relegated to the bench by midseason of 2014-2015)

Alan Tierney
Centerback
Arrival: With club prior to 2013.
Departure: August 1, 2015 to Newport County for £1k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C (left on a free)
Player Grade: C+ (Captained the club to promotion)

Daniel Thomas
Right Fullback
Arrival: With the club prior to 2013.
Departure: June 30, 2018 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C (Left on a free)
Player Grade: C+ (With the club for five years and three promotions)

Stuart Martin
Centerback
Arrival: January 2015 from Rochdale for £9k transfer fee.
Departure: June 9, 2016 to Crystal Palace for £95k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B- (Earned a good price for a lower league player)
Player Grade: C+ (Good, albeit high wage, centerback)

Femi Don-Duncan
Fullback
Arrival: January 2015 from Tranmere on a free transfer.
Departure: June 9, 2016 to Luton Town for £2.2k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C (Turned a tiny profit)
Player Grade: C- (Forgettable fullback)

Ibrahima Bah
Striker
Arrival: January 2015 from Crewe Alexandria for £5k transfer fee.
Departure: July 12, 2016 to Niort on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C- (Lost money)
Player Grade: C+ (Vital to winning promotion in 2015)

Daniel Clarke
Midfielder
Arrival: January 2015, from Orlando City for £1k transfer fee.
Departure: July 10, 2016 to Morecambe for £14k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C (Profitable)
Player Grade: C (Acceptable midfielder in League Two)

Liam Franks ("Lum")
Forward
Arrival: January 2015 on loan from Leeds United, March 15, 2016 on a free transfer.
Departure: June 30, 2017 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C (Came and left on free transfer)
Player Grade: B- (Vital to winning promotion in 2015)

Matthew Poole
Centerback
Arrival: June 9, 2015 from Brentford on a free transfer.
Departure: June 30, 2019 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C (Came and left on free transfer)
Player Grade: B+ (Starting player for four straight years)

William Harrison ("Billy the Kid")
Striker
Arrival: June 9, 2015 from Glenavon on a free transfer.
Departure: June 9, 2020 to Blackburn Rovers for £1.5m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B- (Solid profit)
Player Grade: A- (Prolific lower league scorer)

Ashti Kadhim
Defensive Midfielder
Arrival: July 20, 2015 on a free transfer.
Departure: June 9, 2017 to Stevenage on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C (Came and left on free transfer)
Player Grade: C (First international team member to sign with Wrexham)

Danny Higgs
Goalkeeper
Arrival: July 1, 2015 from Charlton Athletic on a free transfer.
Departure: January 16, 2020 to Everton for £800k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Sold for less than he should have)
Player Grade: B (Solid in the net from League Two through the Championship, but overmatched in the Premier League)

Tony Price
Attacking Midfielder
Arrival: July 1, 2015 from Crewe Alexandria on a free transfer.
Departure: June 30, 2018 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C (Came and left on free transfer)
Player Grade: C+ (Had one good season)

Nasser Al-Beloushi
Goalkeeper
Arrival: July 28, 2015 on a free transfer.
Departure: June 30, 2017 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C (Came and left on free transfer)
Player Grade: C (Never performed nearly as well for club as for country)

Luke Reid
Centerback
Arrival: August 20, 2015 on a free transfer.
Departure: July 6, 2017 to Leyton Orient for £31k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Turned a profit)
Player Grade: C+ (Rough start followed by decent performances)

Michael Coulson ("Agent")
Forward
Arrival: September 22, 2015 on a free transfer.
Departure: June 30, 2019 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C (Came in and left on free transfers)
Player Grade: A- (Vital goal scorer in lower leagues)

Sam Smissen ("Smissmar")
Left Fullback
Arrival: July 1, 2016 from Tranmere Rovers on a free transfer.
Departure: August 14, 2018 to Rangers for £450k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Turned a profit)
Player Grade: B- (Cromulent lower league fullback)

Stewart Lewis ("StewLew")
Centerback
Arrival: July 8, 2016 on a free transfer.
Departure: June 30, 2021 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C (Came in on a free and left on a free)
Player Grade: A- (With the club all the way to the Premier League)

Gary Tench ("The Tenchman")
Right Fullback
Arrival: July 25, 2016 on a free transfer.
Departure: June 14, 2018 to Rangers for £750k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Second biggest fee received to that point)
Player Grade: B- (Cromulent lower league fullback)

Mark Holland
Midfielder
Arrival: June 9, 2017 on a free transfer.
Departure: July 8, 2019 to St. Mirrens for £750k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B (Turned a profit)
Player Grade: B- (Good starter in League One)

Ryan Gorman
Right Wing
Arrival: June 9, 2017 on a free transfer.
Departure: July 31, 2019 to Wigan for £2.5m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B- (Turned a good profit)
Player Grade: B (Disappointing first season followed by good second season)


Early Premiership

Dinko Mejasic
Left Fullback
Arrival: July 1, 2018 from Hadjuk on a free transfer.
Departure: July 1, 2022 to Gladbach for £2.6m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C (Turned a profit)
Player Grade: C (Ate yellow cards like candy)

Dejan Djurovic
Midfielder
Arrival: August 24, 2018 from Galatasary for £900k transfer fee.
Departure: August 10, 2021 to Roma for £10m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C+ (First major transfer spluge, prior high had been £105k for Shirra)
Player Grade: B- (Good player as club transitioned to the big leagues)

Alex O'Hanlon
Centerback
Arrival: June 9, 2019 from Linfield for £100k transfer fee.
Departure: June 20, 2025 to Southampton for £9m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Turned a profit)
Player Grade: C (Could never crack the first team)

Piero Argenti
Forward
Arrival: June 9, 2019 from Mantova for £60k transfer fee.
Departure: January 10, 2024 to Bayern Munich for £27.5m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B- (Involved in the failed pursuit of Rodrigo Jimenez)
Player Grade: C+ (Excellent for one season, then tailed off)

Rocky Bastable ("The Bastard")
Striker
Arrival: June 30, 2019 from Lekhwiya for £4m transfer fee.
Departure: July 5, 2023 to Real Madrid for £54m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: A+/F- (Brilliant signing, first £1m+ fee paid/Terrible sale due to idiot manager)
Player Grade: A+ (Was one of the best strikers in the league from the get-go)

Stuart Mair
Defensive Midfielder
Arrival: July 7, 2019 from West Brom for £1.9m transfer fee.
Departure: January 31, 2025 to Chelsea for £17m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B (Solid profit)
Player Grade: B (Good defensive midfielder in early Premier League)

Daniel Matko
Right Wing
Arrival: July 22, 2019 from Dinamo for £1m transfer fee.
Departure: July 1, 2022 to Wolfsburg for £4.3m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Turned a profit)
Player Grade: C (Always injured)

Richard Petts ("Dickie")
Midfielder
Arrival: July 3, 2019 on a free transfer.
Departure: August 22, 2025 to Bologna for £8m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B- (Should have sold for higher price)
Player Grade: B (Never forgiven for missing his penalty kick against Chelsea)

Vid Kovacevic ("Viddy")
Goalkeeper
Arrival: January 5 2020 from Liverpool for £1m transfer fee.
Departure: June 16, 2025 to Real Madrid for £24.5m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B (Solid profit)
Player Grade: B (Very good Keeper who immediately improved the defense upon arrival)

Tonci Cirjak
Right Fullback
Arrival: January 6, 2020 from Barcelona for £5.5m transfer fee.
Departure: June 13, 2027 to PSG for £22.5m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Stolen out from under Barca's noses)
Player Grade: B (Near world class fullback)

Cyril Boumsong
Centerback
Arrival: January 6, 2020 on loan from Manchester United.
Departure: June 30, 2021 end of loan.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Kept on loan for 18 months)
Player Grade: B+ (Important player in earning Champions League qualification)

Patrice Morvan
Defensive Midfielder
Arrival: June 16, 2020 from Ajaccio for £6m transfer fee.
Departure: January 12, 2024 to Bayern Munich for £43m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B- (Involved in the failed pursuit of Rodrigo Jimenez)
Player Grade: B (Good defensive midfielder)

Dimitri Nieddu
Right Wing
Arrival: July 1, 2020 from AC Milan on a free transfer.
Departure: July 1, 2022 to AC Milan for £39m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: A+ (All profit)
Player Grade: A- (Demon on the right wing)

Bram Aarts
Forward
Arrival: July 5, 2020 from Mons for £1.8m transfer fee.
Departure: July 1, 2025 to Real Madrid for £36m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B- (Large profit, but sold for £10m less than offered in prior window)
Player Grade: B- (Never reached full potential)

Wojciech Feruga ("Woj")
Centerback
Arrival: July 30, 2020 from Feyenoord for £2.4m transfer fee.
Departure: July 5, 2023 to AC Milan for £13.5m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B- (Solid profit)
Player Grade: B (Cromulent backup defender)

Ibrahim El Sayed
Goalkeeper
Arrival: June 9, 2021 from Ismaily on a free transfer.
Departure: August 31, 2023 to Mallorca for £1.7m transfer fee


Transfer Grade: C- (Forced his way off the team)
Player Grade: B- (Competent but irritating backup)

Rodrigo Taborda ("El Compadrito")
Left Wing
Arrival: June 12, 2021 from Rennes for £7.25m transfer fee.
Departure: January 10, 2026 to Real Madrid for £45m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: A- (Large profit)
Player Grade: B (Good player but often injured)

Carlos Matias Cardozo ("El Juez")
Forward
Arrival: June 17, 2021 from Velez for £5.75m transfer fee.
Departure: January 13, 2023 to PSG for £43m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: A- (Large profit)
Player Grade: B- (Great first year, unimpressive second)

Oleg Suslov
Left Fullback
Arrival: June 12, 2021 from Bayern Munich for £9m transfer fee.
Departure: June 24, 2023 to PSG for £36.5m transfer fee


Transfer Grade: B+ (Very good profit)
Player Grade: B (High quality fullback for time at team)

Julio
Attacking Midfielder
Arrival: July 1, 2021 from Real Madrid on a free transfer.
Departure: July 14, 2023 to Roma for £15.25m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Sold for more than expected)
Player Grade: B- (Was a spark plug as a substitute)

Matty Collett
Right Wing
Arrival: June 28, 2022 from Arsenal for £16.5m transfer fee.
Departure: June 9, 2025 to Arsenal for £39m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Very good profit)
Player Grade: B- (Fell off sharply after first year)

Paul Fitzgerald
Goalkeeper
Arrival: June 13, 2023 from Chelsea for £575k transfer fee.
Departure: January 1, 2025 to Borussia Dortmund for £10m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B (Good profit)
Player Grade: C (Mediocre backup keeper)

Cristian Taffarel ("Taffy")
Left Fullback
Arrival: July 1, 2023 from Marseilles for £26.5m transfer fee.
Departure: July 1, 2025 to Real Madrid for £34m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Expensive, but turned a profit)
Player Grade: B- (Not world class, blocked a better player at the position)


Late Premiership

David Maloney
Defensive Midfielder
Arrival: June 9, 2022 from Dundee United for £550k transfer fee.
Departure: June 19, 2027 to Southampton for £30m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B (Large profit, but sold young and played position club was shallow at)
Player Grade: B- (Good young defensive midfielder)

Lajos Kocsis
Goalkeeper
Arrival: June 9, 2022 from Gyor for £436k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Reasonable price for a goalkeeping prospect)
Player Grade: C+ (Solid backup goalkeeper)

Ed Hammatt ("Hammerin' Ed")
Centerback
Arrival: June 9, 2022 from Wigan for £3.2m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Cheap as heck for the quality)
Player Grade: B+ (Very good, tall centerback)

Steve Reed ("Stevie")
Right Fullback
Arrival: June 9, 2022 from Fulham for £5.25m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B (Good price for young talent)
Player Grade: A- (World Class attacking fullback)

Shahed Parr
Right Wing, Striker
Arrival: June 16, 2022 from Manchester United for £18.5m transfer fee.
Departure: June 30, 2027 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Expensive, often injured)
Player Grade: B- (Very good when healthy)

James Loseille
Left Fullback
Arrival: July 12, 2022 from Bordeaux for £5m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Good price for young talent)
Player Grade: A (Best fullback in the world)

Claus Damgaard
Left Wing, Midfielder
Arrival: January 1, 2023 from FC Kobenhavn on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: B (Can't beat the price of free)
Player Grade: C+ (Has never lived up to his potential)

Isaac Stringel ("String")
Striker, Attacking Midfielder
Arrival: January 12, 2023 from Atletico Mineiro for £4.3m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: A- (Fairly cheap given potential)
Player Grade: A (Currently the best striker in the world at age 24)

Callum Allan
Attacking Midfielder
Arrival: July 1, 2023 from Arsenal on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: A (Near world class player for free)
Player Grade: B (Reliably good, but always second choice)

Thiago (“Thiagoooool”)
Striker
Arrival: July 13, 2023 from Cesena for £9.5m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: A- (Cheap considering quality)
Player Grade: A+ (A lifesaver, and then a revelation. The greatest striker in the world for three years)

Jonathan Quiboulaz ("Johnny Q," "J Quibz")
Defender
Arrival: July 30, 2023 from Borussia Dortmund for £30m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C- (Third most expensive purchase)
Player Grade: B- (Versatile, but not top notch)

Sinan Ünsal
Midfielder
Arrival: January 18, 2024 from Monaco for £100m transfer fee.
Departure: June 13, 2027 to PSG for £24.5m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: F (£75m loss!)
Player Grade: C- (Never lived up to his billing)

Matias Mercado ("Super Mercado")
Forward
Arrival: August 20, 2025 from Real Madrid for £2.5m transfer fee.
Departure: June 30, 2027 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C (Fairly cheap, but huge wages)
Player Grade: C+ (Good for a season, useful thereafter)

Dramane Tounkara
Centerback
Arrival: July 13, 2025 from Monaco for £25m transfer fee after 1 year loan-back.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Fifth most expensive purchase and not available for a full year)
Player Grade: B+ (Likely to be a stalwart at the position for years)

Kojiro Minami ("Koji")
Goalkeeper
Arrival: June 23, 2025 from Monaco for £50m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C- (Hideously expensive)
Player Grade: A- (High quality)


The Next Generation

Ellis Rickard
Striker, Centerback
Arrival: June 9, 2022 from Walsall for £102k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Cheap and effective)
Player Grade: B- (Developing into a quality target man)

Ali Bouzid "All He Does Is Score"
Attacking Midfielder
Arrival: January 1, 2025 from Auxerre for £160k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: A- (Cheap and high ceiling)
Player Grade: B (Likely to become a leading player)

Gary Lewis
Defensive Midfielder
Arrival: March 13, 2025 from the youth academy.


Transfer Grade: B (Developed through youth academy)
Player Grade: D+ (Will never be more than a rotation option)

Kristian Bale ("The Batman")
Attacker, Midfielder
Arrival: March 13, 2025 from the youth academy.


Transfer Grade: A (First wonderkid from youth academy)
Player Grade: B- (Still developing)

Kamel Zouaghi
Defensive Midfielder
Arrival: June 9, 2025 from Rennes for £2m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B (High ceiling prospect)
Player Grade: C+ (Filled in ably as the defensive midfielder)

Leandro
Right Back, Centerback
Arrival: June 9, 2026 from Gremio for £1.7m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: D- (Signed two years before he could transfer from Brazil)
Player Grade: C- (Could be a squad player for club)

Rodrigo Moctezuma ("Monty")
Right Wing, Striker
Arrival: July 27, 2026 from sc Heerenveen for £15m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C- (Significantly overpaid)
Player Grade: B (Likely to become a leading player)

Jacob Lundbye
Striker
Arrival: January 1, 2028 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Four star prospect for free)
Player Grade: C (Good debut over second half of season)


Cattle at the Market

Gareth Rainey
Right Wing
Arrival: June 9, 2016 from Finn Harps for £6k transfer fee.
Departure: June 22, 2019 to Inverness CT for £230k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C (Profitable)
Player Grade: C- (Decidedly mediocre)

Ioan Peters
Right Back
Arrival: June 9, 2015 from Bangor City for £5k
Departure: July 2, 2019 to Inverness CT for £475k


Transfer Grade: C+ (Profitable)
Player Grade: C (Slightly better than mediocre)

Michael Upson
Striker
Arrival: June 30, 2016 from Barrow for £5.5k transfer fee.
Departure: Departure January 31, 2018 to Swansea for £2m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: A- (First seven-figure transfer fee, club was in League One at the time)
Player Grade: N/A (Never broke into the senior team, but came into the club with Balance 1)

Adrian Read
Striker
Arrival: June 30, 2016 from Histon for £4.4k in transfer fee.
Departure: June 20, 2018 to Swansea for £1m in transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B (Second seven-figure transfer fee received)
Player Grade: N/A (Never broke into the senior team)

Rob Johnston
Midfielder
Arrival: June 9, 2017 from Port Talbot on a free transfer.
Departure: January 17, 2018 to Leeds United for £750k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B (Largest fee received at the time.)
Player Grade: N/A (Never broke into the senior team)

Leighton Chapman
Centerback
Arrival: June 9, 2018 from Port Talbot for £10.5k transfer fee.
Departure: January 1, 2021 to Liverpool for £2.2m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B (Solid profit)
Player Grade: N/A (Never broke into the senior team)

Cosimo De Blasio
Striker
Arrival: June 9, 2019 from Cosenza for £50k transfer fee.
Departure: July 1, 2025 to Metalist for £6m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: A- (Significant profit)
Player Grade: N/A (Never broke into the senior team)

Alvaro
Defensive Midfielder
Arrival: June 9, 2019 from Cartagena for £75k transfer fee.
Departure: June 18, 2022 to Norwich for £3.6m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Significant profit)
Player Grade: N/A (Never broke into the senior team)

Matt Parker
Centerback
Arrival: June 9, 2019 from Stalybridge for £25.5k transfer fee.
Departure: February 1, 2021 to Chelsea for £4m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Significant profit)
Player Grade: N/A (Never broke into the senior team)

Ben Dixon
Defensive Midfielder
Arrival: June 9, 2019 from Barnet for £33k transfer fee.
Departure: June 9, 2023 to Newcastle for £4.6m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B+ (Significant profit)
Player Grade: N/A (Never had a major chance to show what he could do)

Jose Reis
Fullback
Arrival: June 9, 2022 from Guimares for £650k transfer fee.
Departure: July 1, 2025 to Siena for £1.2m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C- (Didn't sell for much profit after taking into account wages)
Player Grade: N/A (Never broke into the senior team)

Luis Feliciano
Centerback
Arrival: June 9, 2022 from Rio Ave for £245k transfer fee.
Departure: July 1, 2025 to Rijeka for £1.6m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C- (Didn't sell for a significant profit after taking into account wages)
Player Grade: N/A (Never broke into the senior team)

Enrique
Left Fullback, Defensive Midfielder
Arrival: June 9, 2022 from Tenerife for £104k transfer fee.
Departure: July 9, 2026 to Real Madrid for £15m transfer fee


Transfer Grade: B (Good price, but played a position where the club was shallow)
Player Grade: C- (Only had one season as a rotation option)

Fabio Gabbianelli
Forward
Arrival: July 1, 2023 from Lazio on a free transfer.
Departure: July 1, 2025 to Monaco for £10.25m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: B (From free transfer to eight-figure fee)
Player Grade: D+ (Never cracked the starting eleven)

Rhys Davies
Centerback
Arrival: March 13, 2026 from the youth academy.
Departure: January 4, 2028 to West Ham for £1m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Was going to be released on a free)
Player Grade: N/A (Youth player)


The Busts

David Novotny ("The Keeper of the Future")
Goalkeeper
Arrival: August 20, 2018 on a free transfer.
Departure: July 14, 2022 to Feyenoord for £500k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: C+ (Made a profit)
Player Grade: F (I just found our keeper of the future, bumming around Prague. - August 2018)

Tim Jeffries
Striker
Arrival: March 13, 2020 from the youth academy.
Departure: July 5, 2027 to Bolton Wanderers for £2.8m.


Transfer Grade: D (Decent price offset by 30k/wk contract for final few years)
Player Grade: F (Couldn't develop fast enough to get into the team)

Kais Rouissi
Attacking Midfielder
Arrival: June 9, 2019 from Auxerre for £125k transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: D (At least he was cheap, until he was given his second contract)
Player Grade: F ("I expect that I'll use him in a cup game or two this season, and it's almost certain that he'll get on the field in a Premier League match in the next two seasons, which would make him among the youngest players in Premiership history." - June 2019)

Ryuta Ikeda
Striker
Arrival: January 1, 2023 from Jubilo for £564k transfer fee.
Departure: December 27, 2027 to Al-Shabab for £1.4m transfer fee.


Transfer Grade: F (Club lost money after accounting for wages paid)
Player Grade: F (Did nothing for the club)

Mitchell Pickee
Forward
Arrival: July 1, 2025 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: C- (Won't bring in much)
Player Grade: D (Never good enough for the first team)

Libor Ciganek
Right Fullback
Arrival: July 1, 2025 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: F (Won't bring in anything)
Player Grade: F (Terrible player)

Ferdi van Leeuwen
Forward
Arrival: July 1, 2026 on a free transfer.


Transfer Grade: D (Hasn't been sold yet, but won't bring in much)
Player Grade: D+ (Could have been decent for a worse club)


The Scion

Will Brown
Midfielder
Arrival: March 12, 2023 from the youth academy.


Transfer Grade: N/A
Player Grade: D- (Only has a job because Daddy's the manager)

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 01:39 on Mar 13, 2015

the JJ
Mar 31, 2011

Brony Hunter posted:

I still wanna know what the previous "mystery boon" was.

:)

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.


Somebody didn't read the appendix update and my post below it.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

TheMcD posted:

Somebody didn't read the appendix update and my post below it.

I did and read it as Al. Who got the love again?

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

C. Everett Koop posted:

I did and read it as Al. Who got the love again?

Eintracht Frankfurt, as I'm pretty sure somebody already figured out. It's mentioned in the 2. Bundesliga part of the update above.

EDIT: Here's the PMs I sent, for more details (pretty sure posting my own PMs is cool):

quote:

TheMcD wrote on Feb 5, 2015 00:33:
Right, so I'm going to give a number of instructions, and you can just go ahead and do them as far down as you still consider "balanced". Basically, I want to create what can never be: Eintracht Frankfurt, the Bundesliga juggernaut. I hope all of these would be made, since it's in the German Bundesliga and doesn't really impact anything as far as the world of the LP is concerned, it'd just replace one of the German megabastards with another one that'd be about the same.

1) Remove me from the board of directors at Wrexham (optional, but it seems like the right thing) and instead make me the sugardaddy owner of Eintracht Frankfurt. The first thing that team needs is money, and I will provide.
2) Add a top-tier coach to the team. Make him a Dutchman named Raymond van Barneveld. Ensure he stays with the club with a good, long, ironclad contract.
3) Make the stadium bigger (not massive, just bigger) and rechristen it the Barry Hearn Memorial Stadium, just for kicks.
4) Add a wunderkind (18~19 years old, the kind that could start for Wrexham given a few more years, so very good, but not mind-blowingly so) striker to the team. Make him an Australian named Simon Whitlock. Ensure he stays with the club with a good, long, ironclad contract.
5) Add a wunderkind defender to the team. Make him a Scotsman named Gary Anderson. Ensure he stays with the club with a good, long, ironclad contract.
6) Add a wunderkind goalie to the team. Make him a German named Max Hopp. Ensure he stays with the club with a good, long, ironclad contract.

I really just want to see Frankfurt rise from the ashes of the 2. Liga and eventually play against Wrexham in the Champions League, with my secret genetic engineering projects and money siphoned away from Wrexham during my tenure there (which could explain the "financial crisis") leading the team there.

quote:

TheMcD wrote on Feb 5, 2015 01:31:
Excellent. If all that goes through and I've still got a bit of room, I'd like to complete the pack of wunderkind players with a midfielder Englishman named Stephen Bunting. Same contract thing. After all, a team needs all four, and I'd like to give myself a bit of a collateral to at least see some success, since once the setup is done, there's no more interference.

quote:

habeasdorkus wrote on Feb 5, 2015 00:15:
Your wish is my command.

Turns out that even that wasn't enough collateral.

TheMcD fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Mar 13, 2015

Brony Hunter
Dec 27, 2012

Motherfucking Mannis

They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them
Loving the darts references :allears:

Tetrakarn
Nov 1, 2011

TheMcD posted:

Turns out that even that wasn't enough collateral.

Wait so you basically replaced that team with a better one, and it didn't do jack? What happened?

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Simon Whitlock only managed 6 goals despite having 15 finishing/15 composure/17 pace.

Gary Anderson missed almost the entire season to injury. Sprained ankle in late July, 5 weeks. Twisted knee in October, 3 weeks. Gashed leg in December, 2 weeks. Torn calf in January, 4 months.

Max Hopp missed two months with injury as well, making 24 league starts.

And Stephen Bunting demanded out immediately, he was bought by Dortmund for 20.5m before the season started.

Raymond van Barneveld (17 Man Management, 20 Working with Youngsters, 18 Motivating) out!

(honestly, I thought that team would rip through the second division, and instead they struggled to sixth place)

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Mar 13, 2015

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Well, good to see my touch of death hasn't left me. I swear, whenever I play a manager game, things always look good on paper, and then the moment I start playing, things immediately fall apart.

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

I just want to win a boon again.

I want my Canadian and/or Japanese wrestler wonderkids damnit. Soon Mexico won't be the only other CONCACAF nation that can compete.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Btw, going through the numbers I just want to reiterate that the Unsal deal was SO SO BAD.

I purchased £348m in players over my years at Wrexham. A full £100m of that was Unsal. Ugh. And he was sold at a £75m loss. No wonder we ran into a fiscal pinch.

Trundel
Mar 13, 2005

:10bux: + :awesomelon: = :roboluv:
- a sound investment!

Dreamsicle posted:

I just want to win a boon again.

I want my Canadian and/or Japanese wrestler wonderkids damnit. Soon Mexico won't be the only other CONCACAF nation that can compete.

You and me both, Dreamsicle. I want Colwyn Bay to join the rest of the Welsh footballing giants!

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008
Had I gotten a win in a contest I was going to give Habeas 18 y/o Kobe Bryant, just for shits and giggles. Be a race who would cap him first, the US or Italy.

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

Trundel posted:

You and me both, Dreamsicle. I want Colwyn Bay to join the rest of the Welsh footballing giants!

I just hope I don't accidentally cause Canada and Japan to be the only teams that have a shot to win the World Cup every time. I'm sorry that Bret Hart keeps gutting every defense like butter!

EDIT: If I accidently cause that I'll just give 2 or 3 wrestler/athlete wonderkids to historically successful international sides and the U.S.

Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 04:06 on Mar 13, 2015

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
(Another excerpt from the Wrexham Almanac, this more closely matches the published version.)

Records Appendix



The club packed it's stadium upon entry to the Premier League, though security was tightened after the home leg of the Champions League Quarterfinal against Real Madrid in 2023 that saw supporters swarm past the gates and overstuff the stadium with an extra 1500 souls.



Those packed crowds have helped secure Wrexham's financial place in the firmament as one of the biggest of clubs.



Even the least exciting of matches in the past year saw a near capacity crowd, a far cry from the days of Johnstone Paint Trophy matches in the second decade of the millennium.



It's only a question now of how soon the planning council will cave to allowing expansion of the stadium, and how many football crazed Welshmen and women will make the pilgrimage to the Racecourse Grounds.



That local support along with wise transfer policy, has seen the club continue to blossom over these past fifteen years.



This cunning transfer strategy has seen Wrexham earn twice as much on the transfer market as it has spent, while increasing it's quality year over year.



The names are known to all. Michael “Agent” Coulson. Billy “the Kid” Harrison. Rocky “the Bastard” Bastable. Thiago. Isaac Stringel. The club has never lacked for offense during the rise to dynasty.



No one can match the peerless Meteor for creating goals, though. Not even the great Justin Bailey.



The Red Dragons have always been a force to be reckoned with, and still grow stronger with each passing campaign.



Yet despite their fearsome reputation, they mean not to harm their opponents.



Names like Justin Bailey and Mateo Mujkic rise to match their predecessors Alf Jones and Arfon Griffiths.



While names like Thiago reach to meet legends like Tommy Bamford.



Indeed the people of Wrexham have become used to victory.



They've seldom had to wait long for it.



And while they've been able to enjoy long stretches of sterling defense, they've seldom been struck by a scoring drought.



Who will next join the pantheon of Wrexham, and take their place next to the likes of Bailey, Shirra, Mujkic, Bastable, Thiago, Stringel, and Brown?

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 04:18 on Mar 13, 2015

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

habeasdorkus posted:

Sam Smissen ("Smissmar")
Left Fullback
Arrival: July 1, 2016 from Tranmere Rovers on a free transfer.
Departure: August 14, 2018 to Rangers for £450k transfer fee.


Uh... what timeline is this?

All the other images seem fine though.

Dias
Feb 20, 2011

by sebmojo

Dreamsicle posted:

I just want to win a boon again.

I want my Canadian and/or Japanese wrestler wonderkids damnit. Soon Mexico won't be the only other CONCACAF nation that can compete.

You know what, Dreamsicle? I still have no idea what to do with my boon. Rezzed-Kobashi, Minawa and Antonio Inoki wonder-footballer-wrestler kids would make for a fine addition to the proud land of Japan (or would you rather have Bret, Owen and Stu?). They sound more like DMs and centerbacks than strikers to me tho (I guess Inoki/Bret can be a striker, I guess). And if Habeas could somehow guarantee them a season or two at Grêmio I wouldn't complain either. It wouldn't help us win, but violence is its own reward.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

Dreamsicle posted:

Uh... what timeline is this?

All the other images seem fine though.

Yeah, those leagues are backwards. I had to take screenshots of every season's stats and then put them into a google spreadsheet and then prntscrn to get that, so... there's a reason beyond the grades slagging the Coach that this wasn't in the published version of the Almanac :)

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

Dias posted:

You know what, Dreamsicle? I still have no idea what to do with my boon. Rezzed-Kobashi, Minawa and Antonio Inoki wonder-footballer-wrestler kids would make for a fine addition to the proud land of Japan (or would you rather have Bret, Owen and Stu?). They sound more like DMs and centerbacks than strikers to me tho (I guess Inoki/Bret can be a striker, I guess). And if Habeas could somehow guarantee them a season or two at Grêmio I wouldn't complain either. It wouldn't help us win, but violence is its own reward.

I can see Edge, Jericho, Tanahashi and Liger as AMFs/Strikers.

EDIT: My dream wonderkids/starters would be

Japan: Antonio Inoki, and Jumbo Tsuruta as high-quality but 31+ years old
Jushin Liger: 29-30 year old 2-2.5 star player for Wrexham
Misawa, Kobashi, Mutoh: Early/Mid-20's 3.25-3.75 star players for Wrexham. (Mutoh may be 3 or even 2.75 star only)
Tanahashi, Okada, Nakamura: 3.5-4 star wonderkids

I want to make Misawa 200 CA/PA as a Dave Meltzer 5 stars reference but that may unbalance everything too much

Canada: Stu Hart: See Inoki
Bret and Owen Hart: See Misawa/Kobashi/Mutoh
Edge and Chris Jericho: 19-21 year old 2.5 star quality Wrexham players. 4 star potential.
Sami Zayn, Kevin Steen, Christian: 3.5-4 star wonderkids

Again if all this is unbalancing I'll give historically successful international sides and the U.S reinforcements.

Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 05:11 on Mar 13, 2015

Dias
Feb 20, 2011

by sebmojo
I like that list. I'd like to poach Nakamura and Zayn for my side tho, as 17-year-old wonderkids (gotta have some nepotism). Sounds acceptable, Dream and Habeas? Trim and edit as you see fit, but let's get an Invasion angle going on.

(although making them all wonderkids might be more balanced at an international level, depending on how close we are to the WC - I lost track.)

(this is the most ridiculous boon now i think maybe)

(ninja edit I was toying with the idea of sending Will Brown as a wonderkid to Canada anyway)

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

Dias posted:

I like that list. I'd like to poach Nakamura and Zayn for my side tho, as 17-year-old wonderkids (gotta have some nepotism). Sounds acceptable, Dream and Habeas? Trim and edit as you see fit, but let's get an Invasion angle going on.

(although making them all wonderkids might be more balanced at an international level, depending on how close we are to the WC - I lost track.)

(this is the most ridiculous boon now i think maybe)

(ninja edit I was toying with the idea of sending Will Brown as a wonderkid to Canada anyway)

I didn't want to make the all wonderkids in case Habeas won the 2030 World Cup and ended the LP. I could also give Wrestler wonderkids to the U.S and to a lesser extent England to ensure balance. For other counties I'll have to use other (read: unscripted) sports.

Xtanstic
Nov 23, 2007

Players Almanac was way cool. Good to see some old names pop up again.

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back

habeasdorkus posted:

Btw, going through the numbers I just want to reiterate that the Unsal deal was SO SO BAD.

I purchased £348m in players over my years at Wrexham. A full £100m of that was Unsal. Ugh. And he was sold at a £75m loss. No wonder we ran into a fiscal pinch.

Were there clues that should have clued you in to him being a waste of money that you ignored?

KDavisJr
Jul 17, 2010

A real avatar never dies, even when it's replaced!

habeasdorkus posted:

Btw, going through the numbers I just want to reiterate that the Unsal deal was SO SO BAD.

I purchased £348m in players over my years at Wrexham. A full £100m of that was Unsal. Ugh. And he was sold at a £75m loss. No wonder we ran into a fiscal pinch.

drat that sucks! Like paying for a Diamond and getting utter trash!

Bootcha
Nov 13, 2012

Truly, the pinnacle of goaltending
Grimey Drawer

habeasdorkus posted:

To keep this from being another no-content week, here's my favorite "tradition" from Minnesota:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzhSpdPqexY

The high school ice hockey tournament is a huge deal in Minnesota, it's a state that's equal to Canada in it's love for hockey. For the past five years a guy in Minneapolis has been doing these "all hockey hair" teams, and every single video is five to eight minutes of joy. It makes me nostalgic for the years I lived there. Also, the video shows that the author has a shaved head, but it wasn't always thus. Check out his glamour shot on his company bio page:



That's a man who knows his flow.

Now I'm imagining the USA World Cup team being coached by Brown and an odd collection of Welshmen, Gophers, and Nodaks/Sodaks.

"Oh yaah, this pyramid will work good for you!"
"You have such good advice, don'cha know?"
"You bet'cha!"

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

KDavisJr posted:

drat that sucks! Like paying for a Diamond and getting utter trash!

He was the backup choice since his first resigned to Bayern. Of course he could have also been a bust as well.

Dispersal
Nov 5, 2005

Since the FM thread is almost entirely FM '15 these days, I'm going to ask this here - have any of you experienced a mass devaluation of ALL players in your universe? For about a month or two every player in my universe lost as much as 40% of their value. My best player went from being worth $100m to being worth $65m. He was still the most valuable player in the world, but it was very weird. I got some killer deals on contract extensions because of it though.

And Habe - the kid on my team that you were raving about when we played, Aboubacar Ouattara, just won the Ballon d'Or at 22 years old. :)

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

So I noticed in one of the appendices regarding the status of football there was a Campeonato Brasilerio and Campeonato Gaucho. I thought that Gaucho was the second tier of Brazillian football but Gremio competed in both leagues. What do each of these leagues do?

Also if you don't mind Dispersal, can I get a history of the trophies you won in your Luton Town save?

Dias
Feb 20, 2011

by sebmojo

Dreamsicle posted:

So I noticed in one of the appendices regarding the status of football there was a Campeonato Brasilerio and Campeonato Gaucho. I thought that Gaucho was the second tier of Brazillian football but Gremio competed in both leagues. What do each of these leagues do?

Also if you don't mind Dispersal, can I get a history of the trophies you won in your Luton Town save?

Brazil has "state" leagues, which is a pretty weird concept for most non-Brazilian football fans. The Campeonato Gaúcho would be Rio Grande do Sul's state championship, contested between Grêmio, Internacional and a bunch of D-League or under clubs. They happen apart from the national league (the Campeonato Brasileiro), before it starts (usually between February and May) and they ain't worth much.

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Dispersal
Nov 5, 2005

Dreamsicle posted:

So I noticed in one of the appendices regarding the status of football there was a Campeonato Brasilerio and Campeonato Gaucho. I thought that Gaucho was the second tier of Brazillian football but Gremio competed in both leagues. What do each of these leagues do?

Also if you don't mind Dispersal, can I get a history of the trophies you won in your Luton Town save?

Sure. Ill try and put it together Sunday if I can, but I'll get done by Wednesday at the latest.

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