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22 Eargesplitten posted:And that's just aunts, uncles, and first cousins, not extended family.  are cousins not extended family?! I have immediate family (mom, dad, step mom and step dad, brother, sister) and I thought everyone else was extended? Am I wrong?
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Mar 17, 2015 06:59
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Nicol Bolas posted:
Some consider first cousins closer family. It just depends on the family, really.
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Mar 17, 2015 07:31
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Thanks. There's some good information on offbeatbride, but it's kind of drowned out by the nerd culture, and the groom-ogling posts are full of terribly dressed people that don't know how textures, grooming, or shoulders work. I'll take a more thorough look at a practical wedding later, but even the first article on the front page seems like what I'm looking for. So far it seems like it's going to be a bitch and a half to fit that budget with that many guests. Not blaming anyone, but if my fiancee's family wasn't catholic, maybe there wouldn't be so many family members to invite. And that's just aunts, uncles, and first cousins, not extended family. Practically, at that level of budget, the first thing is to decide what is important to you. You can't spend a grand on photos, a grand on flowers, a grand on a dress, and $500 on a DJ (which are all low-end figures), AND have a catered full dinner and drinks for 100 people.
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Mar 17, 2015 13:48
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Thanks. There's some good information on offbeatbride, but it's kind of drowned out by the nerd culture, and the groom-ogling posts are full of terribly dressed people that don't know how textures, grooming, or shoulders work. I'll take a more thorough look at a practical wedding later, but even the first article on the front page seems like what I'm looking for. So far it seems like it's going to be a bitch and a half to fit that budget with that many guests. Not blaming anyone, but if my fiancee's family wasn't catholic, maybe there wouldn't be so many family members to invite. And that's just aunts, uncles, and first cousins, not extended family. I'm in a similar position where my fiancee's family is big and catholic, so everyone needs to be invited or else it would create waves. We had to make some deep, deep cuts to the list of friends that we wanted to come.
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Mar 17, 2015 15:14
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life is killing me posted:Some consider first cousins closer family. It just depends on the family, really. I guess my family is just really distant, which I guess is a byprouduct of being spread all across the US. I have two cousins (my dad's brother's kids) who I haven't seen or heard from in 15 years. So . . . . . they're not invited.
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Mar 17, 2015 16:28
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Nicol Bolas posted:
At least on her side of the family, we see all the first cousins at least four times a year, aside from two that live one state away that are still really close. I'd be more okay with cutting some of my more distant first cousins if I had to, since I haven't seen some of them in years. I always thought of your grandparents' kids and their kids as immediate family, maybe my definition is off. Probably because those are the family groups that we always got together in. Thankfully, the dress should come in under $200. My mother-in-law is a seamstress (the real kind), and I'm pretty sure she's been looking forward to this since she first had a daughter. So we'll just be paying for the base dress and the materials for her to embroider/add. Not sure how much the shoes will be. We're probably getting married outside, so not breaking an ankle stepping on a small rock will have to be a consideration. I'm trying to get her more involved in this whole thing so I can be sure I'm not making cuts she won't accept, but I'm pretty sure we can cut the flowers down to (at most) boutonnieres and bridesmaid/bride bouquets. If that. There should be plenty of flora in the CO mountains anyway. And we're not renting a limo. We've got friends who have offered to do photography/videography relatively cheap, and I'm going to try to push her towards an iPod playlist rather than a DJ. She's said she wants this violinist she likes, but that would be like $500 for the plane tickets because he isn't local, plus his lodging, plus another meal, plus actually paying him. If she really wants him, I'll see what we can do, but that's a significant fraction of our budget on that alone. Of course, some of this is offset by the fact that using theknot's budget proportion estimator thing, there's no budget item for the man getting a haircut. And her hair is going to be more expensive than they allotted, because she's black and getting black hair done is always expensive. And my entire outfit is supposed to be $80. I am not wearing a rental tuxedo. I'd be fine with wearing one of my several thrifted suits, but she wants me in a tuxedo. And if I don't find one on ebay / in goodwill, that's going to be ~$600, plus the shirt, plus the shoes (which I'm determined to find on ebay), plus the bowtie, plus the suspenders, plus the cufflinks. So that's pretty much all the flower savings gone there. My only solace is that at least I'll have a tuxedo for 10-20 years before I get too fat, and maybe more if I can get the MTM place to put more fabric than usual into the seams to be let out. We're also both shut-ins, so we shouldn't have to cut down the friends too much.
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Mar 17, 2015 16:31
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Nicol Bolas posted:I guess my family is just really distant, which I guess is a byprouduct of being spread all across the US. I have two cousins (my dad's brother's kids) who I haven't seen or heard from in 15 years. So . . . . . they're not invited. We're doing courtesy invites for my mom's side of the family in SC whom I haven't seen in more than 15 years. You might consider that, because not having heard from them or having seen them in that long doesn't preclude hurt feelings if they find out a family member is getting married and they didn't receive an invite. They probably won't come anyway, but you will have prevented hurt feelings. Who knows, maybe some WILL come and you can rekindle a relationship with some of your family, if that's something you want.
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Mar 17, 2015 16:37
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Just watch out, because old-school wedding etiquette is that you should give a gift if you are invited to a wedding, even if you can't attend. So if someone is old-fashioned, being invited to a wedding they almost surely won't attend might come across as gift-grubbing. OTOH, wedding etiquette is often bullshit and is best ignored.
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Mar 17, 2015 16:43
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Guess it just depends on the family dynamics and their age. If you don't expect gifts from every single person you invite whether they come or not, no big deal, but again, family dynamics will really determine whether courtesy or etiquette take precedence.
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Mar 17, 2015 16:47
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smackfu posted:Just watch out, because old-school wedding etiquette is that you should give a gift if you are invited to a wedding, even if you can't attend. Double edged sword, not inviting them even though they couldnt come is in bad taste because they're family
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Mar 17, 2015 19:49
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I have a bunch of aunts and uncles who I never ever talk to coming to my wedding. I invited them expecting them to say "who?" and throw away the invitation but hey I guess not 
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Mar 17, 2015 19:50
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Yeah, that's a "wedding as family reunion" situation. They don't care about you as much as seeing the other relatives you invited.
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Mar 17, 2015 19:57
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Its totally fine, I just will never remember a single on of their names and do a lot of "hey hows it goin." Luckily my bride knows all of her side pretty well so only like 1 of 13 tables will be awkward. In other news holy poo poo 5 weeks. Were finalizing everything and the weeks are zoomin by. Im really excited because our photobooth company is making escort cards to put in acrylic frames. The frames can be used to for the photobooth and is p much a bitchin wedding favor.
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Mar 17, 2015 20:05
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I am not wearing a rental tuxedo. Why not? When else are you planning to wear a tuxedo? Why are you buying one if budget is an issue?
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Mar 17, 2015 20:08
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life is killing me posted:
We're doing a tour around New England as we get married in the Autumn (or 'Fall' as you US peeps put it!) I am SO excited even though it's pretty much a holiday for old people.
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Mar 17, 2015 21:39
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disheveled posted:Why not? When else are you planning to wear a tuxedo? Why are you buying one if budget is an issue? Aren't rented tuxedos known for not fitting properly? I'm wearing a suit at my wedding and it'll be properly fitted. As far as I know, rented tuxedos, even fitted, never look all that good because they just measure you and choose the one that would fit those measurements...but they aren't tailored for you.
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Mar 17, 2015 22:34
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life is killing me posted:Aren't rented tuxedos known for not fitting properly? I'm wearing a suit at my wedding and it'll be properly fitted. As far as I know, rented tuxedos, even fitted, never look all that good because they just measure you and choose the one that would fit those measurements...but they aren't tailored for you. I mean, yes and no? Mens Wearhouse is probably bad at it but theblacktux.com basically has you get fitted at any place and send them the measurements. So you can go to a luxury tux maker and get properly fitted by a person who knows what they're doing and still get a rental. I went with Mens Wearhouse even though they kind of suck at fitting though because they had a really cool tux.
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Mar 17, 2015 23:41
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disheveled posted:Why not? When else are you planning to wear a tuxedo? Why are you buying one if budget is an issue? Rental tuxedos exist because men don't know or care what suits look like or are made from, they're something uncomfortable they have to suffer through on occasions. They never fit right, their drape is awful, and the tailoring the rental places offer is minimal. I'll wear a tuxedo to any other black tie events, which, being honest, will be rare. I'm hoping more of my friends will have at least black tie optional weddings. Barring that, I'll probably save it for going classy places on new year's eve. Places where it might be on the more formal end, but at least not out of place. Basically, it boils down to the fact that I'm not getting back into shape to wear a shapeless suit and look like crap on my wedding day. God willing, I'm only having one of these, and I'm going to be looking at the pictures the rest of my life. Again, the hope is to find one on Ebay, since the style for black tie has changed so minimally over the past decade. I'm also not that unusual of a size. Once I lose these last 10-20 pounds, I'll be either a 38R or 40R, depending on how much width I put on my shoulders. That means that while the second-hand suits will be more expensive due to the demand, the supply will be higher as well. I'll look into theblacktux, but I'm skeptical. I'll even dip into my own fun money if I have to to get an actual good tuxedo. Like I said, I'd be fine with just wearing a normal suit, but she wants me in a tuxedo. edit: As far as the shoes go, I'm trying to keep them under $100, but that means I have to go used. Cheap new patent leather cracks almost immediately. I'm also looking at plain-toe balmorals with a good shine on them, but odds are I'm going with patent leather because I prefer either wingtips or captoes for normal wear. High-vamped formal loafers look more sleek/slick than lace-ups anyway. Second edit: Non-tux-talk. I'm seeing suggestions like family-style dining to keep the costs down at the reception, and also to get people talking. How do I find caterers that would do that? Do I just need to call around? Come to think of it, I think I know an Italian restaurant that caters that could probably do it. I'd just need to make sure there were gluten free options at at least one table, because there will be people with celiac there. Also, about the bar. I was reading people suggesting doing just one or two signature cocktails to keep prices down. How does that save money over having a full bar? The bartender still has to make each drink, the only savings I could see would be that it limits the cost to well liquor rather than somebody getting top-shelf scotch. I was also considering getting a punch recipe from Kenning in the GWS cocktail thread, and then having a huge bowl of that made. Saves the bartender time and effort, maybe have enough for two drinks for all of the legal drinkers, and beyond that it's a cash bar? I haven't been to a wedding in maybe 7-8 years, and that one was cheap enough that there wasn't a bar. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 00:47 on Mar 18, 2015 |
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Mar 18, 2015 00:11
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Our tuxes were from Jos A Bank (I can't believe I accidentally typed Mens Wearhouse, MW is the devil), they weren't bad and looked fine on everyone from the thin 20something groomsmen to our dads. They carry literally every size ever, they said they've rented size 80 tuxes before. With anything there are varying tiers of quality, if you shell out for a nice rented tux it's basically indistinguishable from an owned one. And really are you going to wear a tux that many times that it'll make sense to buy vs rent? If you haven't attended any events requiring buying a tux thus far what makes you think it'll change in the future? Sure one friend may throw a black tie optional wedding but from the few I've been invited to no one actually does black tie, they just go slightly dressier than regular wedding wear but still wear suits not tuxes. Men's Wearhouse is (literally) the David's Bridal of tuxes, poo poo quality with terrible tailoring. Don't go there. Re: family chat: our cutoff for inviting distant family was "would we recognize each other on the street y/n" for ones we were on the fence about. Of course there were the handful of people that our grandmas HAD to invite that we didn't know, but it was minimal.
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Mar 18, 2015 01:05
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Most rentals look like garbage because both parties have no clue what they're doing, but if you have a good store and you know what you want, then you can make a rental work. It's not all polyester ponchos out there. The real issue is that at retail, the minimum acceptable tux (for someone who would bristle at midrange rental quality) is at least $600 for just the jacket, pants, and shirt. If you can find some steals on eBay, then that's great, and I have at least heard magical tales of such things happening, but it's going to take serious time and effort. While I don't think it's unreasonable to spend that much on a wedding tux, even if you'll barely (if ever) wear it in the future, it is not where I'd put my money if I'm on a tight budget.
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Mar 18, 2015 01:49
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:If you haven't attended any events requiring buying a tux thus far what makes you think it'll change in the future? Sure one friend may throw a black tie optional wedding but from the few I've been invited to no one actually does black tie, they just go slightly dressier than regular wedding wear but still wear suits not tuxes. Well for one thing, I'm 23. The few things I was invited to as a teenager, everyone wore jeans and cargo shorts. As I age, more and more people I know are paying attention to how they dress and how their clothes fit. I'm not saying I'm likely to wear a tuxedo often, but I'm more likely to wear one in the future than I was as a teenager. And if I can avoid getting out of shape over the next 10 years of desk jobs, I only need to wear it four times to come out even with the Black Tux rental. What do you mean by high-quality rental? I'm not ruling a rental out, I just haven't heard of any place that actually has high quality rentals. Because Jos A Bank suits are cheap fused crap that are only ever close to a good deal in their constant three for one sales. Even then, unless you need three suits, you're better off getting one SuitSupply suit. I looked at the black tux, but they get a bunch of little details wrong. Nobody else will notice, but I would. I'd be willing to go to Denver to look at rentals, but I'd want to know where to go first, and take a look at what they have in inventory as far as brands. I can get a full three-piece full-canvassed tuxedo for $617, although that does end up coming above $700 with the shirt. I've got about a year to keep an eye out for the suit and shirt, though. Longer for the shoes, because my foot size isn't going to change with my recomp. I know that I sound like a groomzilla, but looking good and having the people we love attending are the two parts of the wedding that I really care about (aside from the getting married part). We aren't doing centerpieces, or bridesmaid bouquets, or party favors that everyone will leave at their seat. We've got a friend doing photography who isn't going to upcharge us by 500% for it being a wedding. We're probably doing an outside wedding to save money on the venue and take advantage of the fact that we 30 minutes from the Rockies. There won't be a veil, we're going cheap on the rings. We're going to find a catering place that won't upcharge us 500% for it being a wedding. The dessert is the cake. If we have to, we'll take booze off the menu completely.
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Mar 18, 2015 02:30
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Well for one thing, I'm 23. The few things I was invited to as a teenager, everyone wore jeans and cargo shorts. As I age, more and more people I know are paying attention to how they dress and how their clothes fit. I'm not saying I'm likely to wear a tuxedo often, but I'm more likely to wear one in the future than I was as a teenager. And if I can avoid getting out of shape over the next 10 years of desk jobs, I only need to wear it four times to come out even with the Black Tux rental. I'm all for getting your own tuxedo but if you're talking about taking drinks out of the wedding so you can drop $700 on your clothes you might want to reconsider or rebudget. You talk about having an "outside" wedding to save money on the venue, so I'm assuming you're doing this during the day? If you're concerned enough about "details" that something like The Black Tux gets wrong then you should also know that daytime requires morning dress, ha. You don't need to scramble to get a tux right away, you're still fairly young. If anything you should be dumping money into better "normal" suits (not tuxes) since you mentioned everything you have is from a thrift store right now. This is doubly true if you're losing weight/training. You don't know what your body is going to end up like exactly especially as you get a bit older and have lifestyle changes.
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Mar 18, 2015 03:00
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I know morning dress is more appropriate for daytime events, but tuxedos are acceptable when the event goes into the night. We're thinking afternoon partially because of that, partially so that we have time to get hair done and prep before the wedding, and also for romantic sunset photos. Then we're going to an inside venue for the reception to avoid the mountain night chill. And talk about something that I'd never wear again, nobody wears morning dress ever. But even if we were doing it in the morning, I'm only wearing a tuxedo because she insisted. Otherwise I'd just focus on losing enough gut to fit my favorite suit and finding some black captoes that fit, since my favorite shell cordovan longwings might be a bit too casual. I would prefer a suit to a tuxedo, but I have to make compromises. She wants me in a tux, I want whatever I'm wearing to be nice and not have a tie matching the bridesmaids' dresses, because that's tacky as hell. Ditching the liquor for the tuxedo isn't what I meant. I'd dip into my own fun money first, I'm just more concerned about how much it's going to cost. The knot's budget estimator thing recommended $800 for liquor at our absolute max of 10k. At good bar prices (which I assume is the bottom-end for caterer liquor prices), that's barely more than a drink a person, considering my grandparents don't drink and we've got 10-20 under-21s. I'm hoping that by doing free punch and alternate cash bar, which I'm still hoping for feedback on, we could get maybe 2 drinks/person without going over $800, and coming in under on almost everything else. The markup on liquor is just stupid high, and as far as I can tell, you need to be a caterer to serve in CO, I couldn't just bring in a bartender for the night and buy the alcohol myself. I'm not sure, though, I'm having a hard time finding the actual liquor law, just caterer and venue websites. You're also making the false assumption that thrift store suits are bad. I wrote a big long paragraph on this, but I'll sum it up with this: There are great deals on a lot of good things at thrift stores if you know what brands to look for, know what can be altered, and have the time to go frequently, because the Brooks Brothers and the like tend to go fast. I keep wanting to write more raving about thrift stores, but I'll leave it at that. I can see what you're saying about not knowing what my body is going to look like, but that will be true forever. I'll never know for sure how my exercise or eating habits are going to be three years from now. Three years ago, I was 170 and had visible abs and lats without flexing. Now I'm 200, down from 210, and my stomach muscles are so weak and lazy that doing ab work actually did help my stomach shrink.
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Mar 18, 2015 03:57
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What about your groomsmen? Are they allowed to rent? Is it ok for them to match the bridesmaids? (They don't have to  )It sounds like you just want to buy a tuxedo and are looking for validation for dropping that much money on one. If you want one, go buy one. I would consider using your own personal money that isn't earmarked for the wedding on it though since it seems to be putting strain on your already tight budget. You mention dipping into your own fun money for liquor, so why not dip into it for your tux?
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Mar 18, 2015 04:08
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Sorry, I must be really unclear or something. I meant dipping into fun money for the tux, not the liquor. I already do enough dipping into fun money for my own liquor. Like I said, I'd just be wearing a suit, but my fiancee really wants me in a tuxedo. Maybe it's because I already tend to want to suit up for all of our anniversaries/special occasions, so a normal suit isn't special enough. Also, I just got an offer on ebay for some formal loafers (like opera pumps, but with a higher vamp and a strap of grosgrain instead of a bow) for really cheap, so I'm feeling optimistic right now. Ebay has a lot of tuxedo options, it's just you have to sift through the awful $50 notch-lapel tissue paper suits to get to them. I'm sure with time I'll find the keywords to sift some of those out. I kind of wanted to offer to chip in on a tux for my best man, but with how tight the budget is, I think I might just buy him a monogrammed flask or some nice cufflinks or something. I've only got two groomsmen, my best friend and my little brother. I've fallen out of contact, intentionally or otherwise, with all of my other guy friends. And my little brother is still growing like a teenager tends to, so buying him a tux would be a terrible idea. But buying him a flask would probably also send the wrong message, so I'll need to figure out what to give him. I wasn't really looking for validation, I made that initial comment off-hand without thinking about it even causing a discussion. I probably should have known it would. I was thinking how it was still significantly less than the average bride's dress, but everyone else was probably thinking how much more it was than a rental and how an average bride's dress is still really expensive
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Mar 18, 2015 05:20
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I've been to my share of weddings over the past decade and two or three of them must have been 6 figure affairs...and only one has been black tie optional, none have been black or white tie mandatory. Just saying. You may not get as much use out of it as you might expect.
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Mar 18, 2015 13:03
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Its a cool thing to have but really you can rent an actual high quality suit/tuxedo from TheBlackTie.com, and get properly fitted by any local tailor you trust.
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Mar 18, 2015 13:12
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Tyro posted:I've been to my share of weddings over the past decade and two or three of them must have been 6 figure affairs...and only one has been black tie optional, none have been black or white tie mandatory. Just saying. You may not get as much use out of it as you might expect. Yeah, it really depends on what social circles you're in and what your profession is. Hardly anyone does black-tie mandatory for weddings anymore because hardly anyone has a tux. And the vast majority of people don't know what black tie even means ("You have to wear a black tie, right?"). Even wearing a tux to a "black tie optional" wedding is risky because like 90% of the dudes won't wear a tux and you'll get confused with the wedding party. Again, for perspective, my wife works for a guy who's literally almost a billionaire, and his son is getting married. They're spending nearly half a million dollars on the wedding. It's not black tie. I'd say if you were in New York or somewhere where there is more of a concentration of "traditional" dress events, it might be a good idea. But you're in Colorado or something right? I highly doubt you'll get much use out of the tux in the next decade or so. Again, I'm all for having your own tux for when the occasion calls for it, but consider the opportunity cost of that cash before going whole hog on a new tux vs. a quality rental. If you can find one on Ebay for near the cost of a rental, that's great. It's easy to rack up incremental costs on getting "everything perfect" when it comes to a wedding. In reality, the only person who will probably notice the "details" you're worried about with the tux is you. Do you really want to pay probably $600-700+ for a "perfect" tux, all so you can look at photos in 20 years and and think "Man I looked good!" Save it for the honeymoon or something. 22 Eargesplitten posted:You're also making the false assumption that thrift store suits are bad. I wrote a big long paragraph on this, but I'll sum it up with this: There are great deals on a lot of good things at thrift stores if you know what brands to look for, know what can be altered, and have the time to go frequently, because the Brooks Brothers and the like tend to go fast. I keep wanting to write more raving about thrift stores, but I'll leave it at that. No I know that thrift purchases can be good if you're lucky. I've just run into a lot of people trying to gold-mine thrift stores and end up with mistreated, outdated, or plain worn out clothing that are all "It's totally just like new, I look great" when instead they look like they're wearing stuff they found in their dad's closet (e.g. wide lapels from the 80's and 90's, etc.). Not saying you haven't made some good picks, but the first thing I think of when I hear "thrifted suits" is someone trying to dress on the cheap while making sacrifices for quality/fit/style. LogisticEarth fucked around with this message at 13:30 on Mar 18, 2015 |
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Mar 18, 2015 13:27
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LogisticEarth posted:Again, for perspective, my wife works for a guy who's literally almost a billionaire, and his son is getting married. They're spending nearly half a million dollars on the wedding. It's not black tie. I'd say if you were in New York or somewhere where there is more of a concentration of "traditional" dress events, it might be a good idea. But you're in Colorado or something right? I highly doubt you'll get much use out of the tux in the next decade or so. Even in some metropolitan capital like NY, they just aren't a common occurrence. I have a friend who works as an event planner at one of the most expensive wedding venues on Long Island, she regularly works upper six figure weddings, they're almost never black tie, at most they're black tie optional and men don't wear tuxes unless they're in the wedding party. I've been to a couple of black tie optional events, not weddings, and immediate family wore [well fitting rented] tuxes, everyone else just looked awesome in whatever sleek suit they wore.
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Mar 18, 2015 13:38
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Given all that, if you want to have a tux that fits you perfectly, there's not going to be a better time than your own wedding.
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Mar 18, 2015 13:46
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smackfu posted:Given all that, if you want to have a tux that fits you perfectly, there's not going to be a better time than your own wedding. At the same time, there is not a worse time to make ill-conceived large purchases than right before your own wedding. Again, would be all for it if he wasn't saying how tight his budget is and everything.
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Mar 18, 2015 13:54
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Bread Set Jettison posted:Its a cool thing to have but really you can rent an actual high quality suit/tuxedo from TheBlackTie.com, and get properly fitted by any local tailor you trust. I'll call them when I get a chance. Hopefully they have better options than I can see on their site. Their pictures look like a dishrag.
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Mar 18, 2015 15:49
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Their suits/tuxes are fine and they'll send a trial for you to inspect
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Mar 18, 2015 15:51
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If your budget really is that limited, I would suggest going over to BFC and reading up on how to properly budget, maybe even start a thread to track your finances.
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Mar 18, 2015 16:50
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Yeah, I made a budget last year. I've got a Mint and everything. I'm going to make a new one next month, because I'm moving so my rent is changing significantly. Also, with any luck, I'll have a new job in two and a half weeks, so I'll need to re-budget considering that too. I'd be much better off if I didn't just keep running into setbacks. Like $2600 in car repairs over the past six months, or a month off from work after emergency surgery.
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Mar 18, 2015 17:00
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22 Eargesplitten posted:...and I'm going to try to push her towards an iPod playlist rather than a DJ. I'm obviously biased, but I vote "no" on this. Who is going to keep things moving along? Who is going to be doing the announcements? Will anyone be available the entire time to tech audio and lighting? How about planning out the reception itself? When and where are you getting married? I'm up in Breckenridge and would rather cut you a bangin' deal than see this go down.
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Mar 19, 2015 01:30
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Literally every wedding I've been to that had an iPod instead of a DJ had the playlist interrupted by either the iPod loving up or some drunk idiot deciding they want to hear a particular song RIGHT NOW.
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Mar 19, 2015 01:57
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Literally every wedding I've been to that had an iPod instead of a DJ had the playlist interrupted by either the iPod loving up or some drunk idiot deciding they want to hear a particular song RIGHT NOW. Yeah...it's not good. Or for that matter someone plays "Thriller" and there is a minute long intro that everyone just sort of looks puzzled to.
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Mar 19, 2015 02:12
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God I went to a wedding where there friend was the DJ, and it was basically him with an iPod and a microphone. I have never seen a person suck energy out of a crowd faster... A good DJ is so worth it. A mediocre DJ is even worth it.
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Mar 19, 2015 02:21
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| # ? May 10, 2024 04:02 |
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I'd wager to say that no DJ is better than a BAD DJ. I'll admit that I did the whole DIY music gig for the dance stuff. We got a killer deal on string music for the cocktail hour and dinner, but switched over to an iTunes playlist for dancing. Cost was an issue but space was another. We didn't have enough room for the string quartet and a DJ to set up. We got a lot of good comments about the music after the fact, but I spent a huge amount of time working together a playlist, splicing songs, etc to cover the 3.5 hours we had planned following dinner. And then my now sister-in-law of course got drunk and decided to go upstairs into the sequestered area where the laptop was and plug in her iPhone to play some crap on Pandora. Twice. I hid her phone the second time. Then she got up there AGAIN and somehow unlocked the laptop and added a poo poo song from my library at the very end of the playlist. It wasn't a huge disaster and the short swaps didn't stop the party. But holy hell if you do go that route, there are a few ground rules: 1) Obviously, keep the playlist locked away and out of view of anyone at the party, with the exception of yourself and your spouse. 2) CROSSFADE. You don't want dead air. 3) This is not the time to showcase your eccentric and sophisticated taste in music. You can have a few oddball songs in there, but you want the list to be grounded in standards. You're trying to please everyone from teens to grandparents. 4) iTunes and some other common apps have the ability to start songs at certain points. This is absolutely necessary either for super long songs, or for ones that have funky intros or endings. As 19 o'clock said, Thriller is the perfect example. It's a dance standard but has a couple minutes of Vincent Price talking over spooky music. You need to actually curate a playlist, building blocks of dance music and slower stuff in between. You can't play to the crowd's exact mood but you can influence them a bit by pacing. Ideally you want to hit play and let it go.
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Mar 19, 2015 03:10
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