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lazerwolf
Dec 22, 2009

Orange and Black
Will Wayne Van Steamsdyk play a game in the NHL BEFORE ThinkTank gets another assist? I'm leaning towards yes!

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Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT

trade me to this team, I will fight him for you

ThinkTank
Oct 23, 2007

Top Hats Monthly posted:

trade me to this team, I will fight him for you

I think we can agree we ALL want to fight stickarts, you'll have to wait your turn though.

Stickarts
Dec 21, 2003

literally

No one likes a line jumper.

Deus Ex Macklemore
Jul 2, 2004


Zelensky's Zealots

ThinkTank posted:

I think we can agree we ALL want to fight stickarts, you'll have to wait your turn though.

Not me. I have a special place in my heart for him because of his artwork.

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

End of 2018-19 Season Update

Playoff Results
NSH def LAK in 6
ANA def ARZ in 7
COL def SJS in 6
WPG def CHI in 7

BUF def TBL in 5
TOR def MTL in 5
WSH def BOS in 4
PHI def PIT in 4

ANA def NSH in 5
CHI def COL in 7

BUF def TOR in 6
PHI def WSH in 4

CHI def ANA in 4
BUF def PHI in 7

BUF def CHI in 6


NHL Awards
Stanley Cup Champions
Buffalo Sabres

Presidents Trophy (Best Regular Season Record)
Tampa Bay Lightning

Clarence S. Campbell Bowl (Western Conference Champion)
Chicago Blackhawks

Prince of Wales Trophy (Eastern Conference Champion)
Buffalo Sabres

Art Ross Trophy (Most Points)
Jonathan Drouin -- Tampa Bay Lightning

Hart Memorial Trophy (League MVP)
Jonathan Drouin -- Tampa Bay Lightning

James Norris Memorial Trophy (Best Defenseman)
Victor Hedman

Lady Byng Memorial Trophy (Best Sportsmanship & Gentlemanly Conduct)
Jonathan Drouin -- Tampa Bay Lightning

Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie of the Year)
Potatoes O'Bourke -- Tampa Bay Lightning

Conn Smythe Trophy (Playoff MVP)
Frederik Andersen -- Buffalo Sabres

Vezina Trophy (Best Goaltender)
Felix Orphansbane -- Toronto Maple Leafs

William M. Jennings Trophy (Goalie(s) on team with fewest Goals Against)
Felix Orphansbane -- Toronto Maple Leafs

Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy (Perserverence, Sportsmanship & Dedication to hockey)
Dan Hamhuis -- Vancouver Canucks

Frank J. Selke Trophy (Best Defensive Forward)
Fred Lemur -- Arizona Coyotes

Ted Lindsay Award (League MVP as voted by NHLPA)
Jonathan Drouin -- Tampa Bay Lightning

Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy (Most Goals)
ThinkTank -- Philadelphia Flyers


AHL Playoffs Results
GRR def SAN in 5
MIL def ADK in 6
CHA def LEM in 7
UTI def RCK in 6

SYR def PRO in 7
HER def ALB in 5
WBS def STJ in 4
MNC def NOR in 6

MIL def GRR in 7
UTI def CHA in 7

WBS def SYR in 7
HER def MNC in 7

MIL def UTI in 6
WBS def HER in 6

MIL def WBS in 6

AHL Awards
Calder Cup (AHL's Stanley Cup)
Milwaukee Admirals

Macgregor Kilpatrick Trophy (AHL's President's Trophy)
Syracuse Crunch

Norman R. (Bud) Poile Trophy (Midwest Division Winner)
Grand Rapids Griffins

Sam Pollock Trophy (North Division Winner)
Adirondack Flames

John D. Chick Trophy (South Division Winner)
Charlotte Checkers

Emile Francis Trophy (Atlantic Division Winner)
St. John's IceCaps

Frank S. Mathers Trophy (East Division Winner)
Hershey Bears

F.G. (Teddy) Oke Trophy (Northeast Division Winner)
Syracuse Crunch

Richard F. Canning Trophy (Eastern Conference Champion)
Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins

Robert W. Clarke Trophy (Western Conference Champion)
Milwaukee Admirals

John B. Sollenberger Trophy (Most Regular Season Points)
Aaron Athanatos -- Toronto Marlies

Les Cunningham Award (League MVP)
Aaron Athanatos -- Toronto Marlies

Willie Marshall Award (Most Regular Season Goals)
Marian Gaborik -- Manchester Monarchs

Dudley "Red" Garrett Memorial Award (Rookie of the Year)
Marian Gaborik -- Manchester Monarchs (lol)

Eddie Shore Award (Best Defenseman)
Aaron Athanatos -- Toronto Marlies

Aldege "Baz" Bastien Memorial Award (Best Goaltender)
Solomon Pepperdick -- Hershey Bears

Jack A. Butterfield Trophy (Playoff MVP)
Magnus Hellberg -- Milwaukee Admirals

Fred T. Hunt Memorial Award (Perserverence, Sportsmanship & Dedication to hockey)
Cody Hodgson -- Manchester Monarchs

Yanick Dupre Memorial Award (Community Involvement)
Jake Chelios -- Chicago Wolves

Harry "Hap" Holmes Memorial Award (Goalie(s) on team with fewest Goals Against)
Eddie Lack/Jacob Markstrom -- Utica Comets


Comments
Buffalo wins the cup!
O'Bourke gets the Calder, ThinkTank with the Richard and Orphansbane gets the Vezina and Jennings as I predicted.
Lemur with a surprise Selke.
Zip wins the Calder Cup in the AHL.
Athanatos cleans up in the AHL.
:lol: Gaborik is considered a rookie in the AHL
Pepperdick: AHL legend.

http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2015 for Complete Stats


Upcoming Free-Agents
CBJ -- J. Longrod (RFA)
SJS -- A. Kilza (RFA)
WPG -- S. Saskatanov (RFA)

Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



I loving knew us getting the President's Trophy was a goddamned trap. :argh:

Deus Ex Macklemore
Jul 2, 2004


Zelensky's Zealots
What do you mean "surprise" Selke? Bitch I'm the next Joe Sakic.

Or Joe Dzedzic. One of those guys.

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.
Holy :laffo: at Gaborik, AHL rookie!

a false
Mar 5, 2009

I DECIDE
WHO LIVES
AND WHO DIES
fiya pon buffalo

Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

Well, at least the Sharks didn't get swept.

Glad EA understands the very confusing rules of being a rookie in the AHL as well.

Hockles posted:

Upcoming Free-Agents
SJS -- A. Kilza (RFA)

Now to make some big money on a long enough term that will make me a UFA at the first possible chance. :getin:

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls
christ EA's sims are such poo poo haha. a 40 goal dman, Athanatos topped 30g and 90pts as a dman in the A.

Trade some fuckin plugger already Toronto, I want my cup of coffee

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 2000

THE MACHO MAN posted:

christ EA's sims are such poo poo haha. a 40 goal dman, Athanatos topped 30g and 90pts as a dman in the A.

Trade some fuckin plugger already Toronto, I want my cup of coffee

Bitches love Goals.



Toronto does not feel that goals and winning games fit their scheme.

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
TRADE ME RIGHT loving NOW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1oD7mFB_SQ

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
Any good teams lacking at D?

Pleads
Jun 9, 2005

pew pew pew


Top Hats Monthly posted:

Any good teams lacking at D?

Not your mother #ITellYouWhat

a false
Mar 5, 2009

I DECIDE
WHO LIVES
AND WHO DIES

that scene makes considerably less sense in a french dub

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

2019 Offseason News

Notable Retired Players
Marian Gaborik
Jason Spezza
Duncan Keith
Patrick Sharp
Jason Pominville
Jussi Jokinen
Jarret Stoll
Christian Ehrhoff
Alexandre Burrows
Fedor Tyutin
Mike Richards
Dan Girardi
Steve Ott
Derek Roy
Paul Martin
Tuomo Ruutu
Dennis Seidenberg
David Clarkson
James Wisniewski
Travis Zajac
Nicklas Grossmann
Sean Bergenheim
Tim Gleason
Tomas Fleischmann
Joni Pitkanen
Tomas Kopecky
Keith Ballard
Kris Russell
Drew Miller
P.A. Parenteau
Matt Bartkowski
Roberto Luongo
Ilya Bryzgalov
Antti Niemi



Transaction News
CBJ -- re-signed J. Longrod to a $11.7mil/2yr contract.
SJS -- re-signed A. Kilza to a $7.6mil/2yr contract
WPG -- re-signed S. Saskatanov to a $2.3mil/1yr contract

ANA -- signed Brandon Sutter to a 2 year contract
NJD -- signed Semyon Varlamov to a 3 year contract
NYI -- signed Sami Vatanen to a 3 year contract



2019-20 Opening Night Info
ARZ -- F. Lemur -- Starting Center
ARZ -- H. Chavez -- Backup Goaltender in Portland (AHL)
BUF -- Hockles -- Starting D-Pairing
CGY -- T. Kingston Kid -- Starting Right Wing
CGY -- I. Strelkov -- Healthy Scratch in Adirondack (AHL)
CHI -- S. Samuelsson -- 3rd Line Right Wing
CHI -- RC Cola -- 3rd D-Pairing
COL -- W. Van Steamsdyk -- 4th Line Right Wing
CBJ -- R. Peters -- 2nd Line Center
CBJ -- J. Longrod -- Starting D-Pairing
EDM -- E. Rutkowski -- 3rd Line Right Wing
EDM -- R. McPhallus -- 2nd D-Pairing
EDM -- Yokozuna -- Starting Goaltender
FLA -- P. Sanchez -- Starting Right Wing
LAK -- S. McStabson -- Starting Right Wing
LAK -- B. Bitdiddle -- 2nd D-Pairing
MIN -- T. Crushinator -- 3rd Line Right Wing
MIN -- C. Buttworth -- Starting Goaltender
MTL -- C. Clemens -- 2nd Line Center
MTL -- A. Robertson -- Starting Goaltender in Hamilton (AHL)
NSH -- L. Alger -- 3rd Line Right Wing
NSH -- Zip -- Backup Goaltender
NJD -- W. Clarkson -- 3rd Line Right Wing
NJD -- R. Picklechips -- Starting Right Wing
OTT -- S. Satonaka -- 2nd Line Center
OTT -- F. Stats -- 3rd Line Right Wing
PHI -- ThinkTank -- 2nd Line Left Wing
SJS -- A. Kilza -- Backup Goaltender
STL -- P. Wang -- 3rd Line Left Wing
TBL -- B. Banton -- 2nd Line Left Wing
TBL -- P. O'Bourke -- Starting D-Pairing
TBL -- T. Delacour -- Backup Goaltender
TOR -- E. Windros Jr -- 2nd Line Left Wing
TOR -- A. Athanatos -- 3rd D-Pairing
TOR -- F. Orphansbane -- Starting Goaltender
VAN -- J. Helar -- Starting Left Wing
VAN -- M. O'Leary -- 3rd D-Pairing
WSH -- J. Hilder -- Starting Right Wing
WSH -- S. Pepperdick -- Starting Goaltender in Hershey (AHL)
WPG -- S. Saskatanov -- 2nd Line Right Wing
WPG -- L. Gallant -- Healthy Scratch


Line spreadsheet: http://bit.ly/1CLve2r


Comments
No big changes for goons.
Only goalies left in the AHL. For now.
New Jersey's top line is ridiculous
McDavid and Eichel are both 98s

Kilza
Oct 4, 2013

Hockles posted:

2019 Offseason News
Transaction News
SJS -- re-signed A. Kilza to a $7.6mil/2yr contract

2019-20 Opening Night Info
SJS -- A. Kilza -- Backup Goaltender

Line spreadsheet: http://bit.ly/1CLve2r

$3.8 mil isn't too bad as a back-up. I'll take it.

Now if only I wasn't a back-up to one of the best goalies in the game and could actually be a starter sometime in the near future. :negative:

e: 10 teams where I'd be the starter (11 if Fleury gives way in Pittsburgh), and I'm stuck in San Jose behind Van Schubert. God damnit.

Kilza fucked around with this message at 08:54 on Mar 24, 2015

MononcQc
May 29, 2007

Second D pairings :unsmith:

a false
Mar 5, 2009

I DECIDE
WHO LIVES
AND WHO DIES
how hard would it be, uh, theoretically, to get nikita kucherov caught with drugs and suspended

RC Cola
Aug 1, 2011

Dovie'andi se tovya sagain
What happened to Keith? And yay third line pairing!

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls
Finally make it to the NHL and I get paired with Bozak (who is an 87ovr hahaha). I just can't win!

Ewic's getting 30g and 200+ pim this season, book it folks

Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



Hockles posted:

Transaction News
CBJ -- re-signed J. Longrod to a $11.7mil/2yr contract.

:eyepop:

Holy poo poo, Longrod's getting paid.

lazerwolf
Dec 22, 2009

Orange and Black
yesssss made it to the show.
D. Booth PWF 80 K. Connor TWF 84 W. Van Steamsdyk PWF 82

Booth a PWF? Interesting...

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT

Kyrosiris posted:

:eyepop:

Holy poo poo, Longrod's getting paid.

DON'T TRADE ME RIGHT loving NOW

Stickarts
Dec 21, 2003

literally

1 year contract, huh. I will UFA in no time.

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT

Pleads posted:

Not your mother #ITellYouWhat

im getting paid and you're not mister

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

Top Hats Monthly posted:

im getting paid and you're not mister

He spent $1.8mil hiring a PR firm to craft the perfect retort burn.

This is what they came up with.

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.

MononcQc posted:

Second D pairings :unsmith:

:unsmith: :hf: :unsmith:

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
Who is the best goon by OVR?

Worst goon by OVR?

Pleads
Jun 9, 2005

pew pew pew


Top Hats Monthly posted:

im getting paid and you're not mister

Healthy scratch for the NHL club still gets NHL salary :woop:

ThinkTank
Oct 23, 2007

Wait Think Tank is putting up 60+ goals a season playing with Brayden Schenn and Matt Read? So basically he's going to pot 100 when he finally takes Simmond's spot on the first line.

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

Top Hats Monthly posted:

Who is the best goon by OVR?

Worst goon by OVR?

Best: Orphansbane (94)

Worst: O'Leary/Samuelsson (80)

CommaToes
Dec 15, 2006

Ecce Buffo
Toronto messed up by picking Felix and not getting McDavid or Eichel. Fortunately, he is the best goalie still.

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
-snip-

ThinkTank
Oct 23, 2007


He won the Walter Brown Award which is awarded to the top American born college player in New England, beating out Eichel for it. The Hobey Baker won't be awarded for a couple weeks.

Teemu Pokemon
Jun 19, 2004

To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause
Crushinator can only do so much crushing with 10 min a night :(

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line

Dandy Kaiser posted:

Crushinator can only do so much crushing with 10 min a night :(

tell me about it, how's a sniper even supposed to set up with those minutes?

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Oglogoth
May 16, 2010

Daaaaarling~

Hockles posted:

New Jersey's top line is ridiculous

You know it :cool:

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