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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Even that has its risks. My sister and her boyfriend were going to have a nice, modest wedding until our dad offered to pay for it and kept urging them to "make it special". Their budget ended up around $75,000. Then today he told her he can't afford to pay for it anymore
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Mar 24, 2015 20:39
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Even that has its risks. My sister and her boyfriend were going to have a nice, modest wedding until our dad offered to pay for it and kept urging them to "make it special". Their budget ended up around $75,000. Then today he told her he can't afford to pay for it anymore Your dad is either a douche or a master troll.
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Mar 24, 2015 20:40
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Even that has its risks. My sister and her boyfriend were going to have a nice, modest wedding until our dad offered to pay for it and kept urging them to "make it special". Their budget ended up around $75,000. Then today he told her he can't afford to pay for it anymore My vision went white trying to imagine how that would feel
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Mar 24, 2015 20:43
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I don't think your sister will ever talk to your dad again. Can't really blame her on that one.
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Mar 24, 2015 20:43
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Spermy Smurf posted:I don't think your sister will ever talk to your dad again. Thereby saving him Christmas and birthday expenses. Good with money!
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Mar 24, 2015 20:49
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The Mandingo posted:Bad with money: How Do I Become a Millionaire, also I want to buy a Lambo or maybe a Tesla Good with money: buy house, take out heloc, buy tesla with heloc, live in house for 5+ years without making a payment by fighting the foreclosure. And w/r/t weddings, I went to school with these two and am friends of friends with them. http://abovethelaw.com/2011/03/lawsuit-of-the-day-jilted-lawyer-bride-sues-sidley-associate-for-wedding-expenses/ Tldr , successful suit against ex fiance for 60k+ in wedding deposits.
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Mar 24, 2015 20:51
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Irish country weddings can be huge. I'm talking 300-400 people because everyone in the village has to go. Including every member of the local football and hurling teams. And their plus one. You get a lot of the money back in gifts. I guess the bad with money part is living in a village. A coworker of mine was still being invited to every wedding years after moving to the big smoke. One year he spent over 10 grand on just attending weddings and stags. Some sessions though!
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Mar 24, 2015 20:56
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Even that has its risks. My sister and her boyfriend were going to have a nice, modest wedding until our dad offered to pay for it and kept urging them to "make it special". Their budget ended up around $75,000. Then today he told her he can't afford to pay for it anymore
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Mar 24, 2015 21:07
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Even that has its risks. My sister and her boyfriend were going to have a nice, modest wedding until our dad offered to pay for it and kept urging them to "make it special". Their budget ended up around $75,000. Then today he told her he can't afford to pay for it anymore Wait wait wait. Whose name was on the agreements with venues and such?
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Mar 24, 2015 21:12
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mastershakeman posted:Good with money: buy house, take out heloc, buy tesla with heloc, live in house for 5+ years without making a payment by fighting the foreclosure. There's this gem further down in the article. quote:Buttitta sought a whopping $95,000 in expenses, including $12,000 for flowers, $10,000 for an orchestra, and over $5,000 for a “non-returnable Wedding dress, veil and hair accessory.” Vito Salerno — great name, right? — fired back with a lawsuit of his own, seeking the return of a $45,500 engagement ring (three carats — wow). With $12k in flowers and $10k for an orchestra it would have been pretty awesome.
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Mar 24, 2015 21:15
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Even that has its risks. My sister and her boyfriend were going to have a nice, modest wedding until our dad offered to pay for it and kept urging them to "make it special". Their budget ended up around $75,000. Then today he told her he can't afford to pay for it anymore Is your dad's name Michael Scott?
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Mar 24, 2015 21:16
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I think my wedding came out in the 7k range, mini honeymoon right after and main honeymoon travel to SFO included. Unless you do a potluck dinner or something along those lines, its hard to get a package wedding less than 2-3k for a decent amount of extended family. The best with money thing that happened for us is when we signed on at like 35 dollar a plate on a steam boat (price included the ceremony on the boat) we got in right before they made open bar an addon charge per person. GoGoGadgetChris posted:Even that has its risks. My sister and her boyfriend were going to have a nice, modest wedding until our dad offered to pay for it and kept urging them to "make it special". Their budget ended up around $75,000. Then today he told her he can't afford to pay for it anymore Part of me wants to say dick move, the other part wants to ask if your dad was kept in the loop in regards to how expensive the total was getting. If he was expecting like 15-30k and then they came to him with the 75k at the very end he might not be completely to blame on that.
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Mar 24, 2015 21:21
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mastershakeman posted:http://abovethelaw.com/2011/03/lawsuit-of-the-day-jilted-lawyer-bride-sues-sidley-associate-for-wedding-expenses/ Well, they settled, and for an undisclosed sum - it never actually went to court. Somewhat different than what calling it a successful suit implies.
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Mar 24, 2015 21:22
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Dillbag posted:95% of the money we spent on our wedding we received back in cash gifts for our honeymoon (mostly from our parents). Are you Chinese? It's not necessarily the case these days, but apparently in the past, in HK it was possible to make money when you hosted the wedding banquet. Traditional wedding gifts in Chinese culture are cash in red envelopes. Then wedding planning turns into a cash flow problem, not an equity one. Can you afford to front the $30,000 for 300 guests at $100 per plate until after you receive the red envelopes?
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Mar 24, 2015 21:40
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the littlest prince posted:Well, they settled, and for an undisclosed sum - it never actually went to court. Somewhat different than what calling it a successful suit implies. Again, I personally know them. The settlement was in full.
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Mar 24, 2015 21:57
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Sounds like someone violated the confidentiality terms of the settlement agreement!
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Mar 24, 2015 22:21
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Mantle posted:Are you Chinese? Where I live, we have a traditional pre-wedding fundraiser. People are charged ten bucks to get into a hall, usually a community club or Legion (Canadian VFA), drinks cost the legal minimum and there are raffle prizes often donated by local businesses. Depending on how heavy your friends drink, this can get you into the high four figures/low five figures. There is usually some illegal bottle swapping to get up there, but it isn't unheard of at rural parties because they basically serve as a bar to go to that night in a community that may not otherwise have one. This continues on to the wedding where the bride and groom are given a cash presentation rather than gifts. The wedding thing comes from a Ukrainian tradition and makes a lot of sense and saves people the headache of trying to track down a nonsense item on a gift registry. And I appreciate the honesty of, "hey, we need stuff, but we can't count on you not to screw it up. Give us the cost of your meal plus fifty bucks or so, and we'll be happy not to return six of the seven identical toaster that we got from Sears. Have a good night, thanks for coming."
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Mar 24, 2015 22:29
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Mandingo wedding talk below! Good with money: Convincing Mrs. Mandingo to do a courthouse wedding Bad with money: Mrs. Mandingo's mom and grandma convincing her to have a wedding 8 months later Good with money: Getting Mrs. Mandingo's mom to pay for our honeymoon
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Mar 24, 2015 22:55
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:Even that has its risks. My sister and her boyfriend were going to have a nice, modest wedding until our dad offered to pay for it and kept urging them to "make it special". Their budget ended up around $75,000. Then today he told her he can't afford to pay for it anymore I choked on my tea reading this, goddamn.
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Mar 24, 2015 23:13
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How often do people get away with promising themselves to elope and actually follow through with it? I've been very upfront with the few women in my life where I've discussed the idea of marriage that I think the entire wedding industry is one of those "American Dream" shams that bilks people out of money for some stupid image race that nobody's winning. I usually close with a proposition that we can either go to somewhere like Galapagos and do our thing, or get stuck in some hotel ball room with a bunch of people chewing through mediocre meals. Usually they're on board, but I also can't really say that these women plan to follow through as we as couples have never been at the stage to find out. Luckily, being single can be very good with money. Edit: I forgot to mention that last week, my friend came home to find that his girlfriend had put the mail on the counter and the top letter was WELLS FARGO JEWELRY FINANCING lol what a loving beatdown. He was pissed that she knew he was going to propose, but now it would be "a thing" since she'd expect it on the upcoming vacation but he wanted to propose after the vacation. It is pretty dumb to put that on the outside of the letter. Jesus Christ, Wells Fargo. I thought she should've been pissed that they have a mortgage and here he was, financing a loving ring but they're pretty traditional and there's nothing more traditional than accumulating depreciating assets and debt. Blinkman987 fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Mar 25, 2015 |
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Mar 24, 2015 23:27
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My gf wants to get married & I don't. I told her she can propose but I'm not doing a wedding. Luckily her friend/coworker just got married and was 2x a maid of honor so seeing her go through it has soured her. Her brother just got married 2 weeks ago and the entire thing was in a hotel & super low key. I could probably be talked into something like that I guess. It means nothing to me (I have 1 family member) though so I realllllly don't want to spend money on it.
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Mar 24, 2015 23:36
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My wife and I spent some money on a wedding, but had a lot of help from family and friends (free venue, gifted a wedding cake from a baker-friend, won a contest for professional photography, her mom/dad helped with catering). I think we spent a couple grand, and had one of the best days of our lives in an outdoor wedding with great food, live band, lots of booze. It was worth it for us just for the fantastic memories, but I wouldn't have wanted to spend any more than we did. I don't regret it at all, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't have been ok with eloping and taking a trip instead.
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Mar 24, 2015 23:52
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I'm not sure why someone would hire an Orchestra when a string quartet would be much more appropriate for a wedding. Unless you want your wedding to be a concert???
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Mar 25, 2015 00:06
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Jesus H Christ on a friggin cracker.... Our 1st wedding was just us, my cousin and some witness we dragged in from the other room at the courthouse. Nice and easy. Dinner at the Homestyle Buffet. Wooooo classy!!! Cost us less than $150 bucks in total. Rings were less than 1k, his and hers. My father cried when he heard the news. Not because we got married without my parents there, and not because he was happy for me....it was because he was thrilled beyond words that I was "his own true baby girl taking after her cheapass daddy" and not having him pay for it. So then my mom was upset cos she wanted to be there. Fine. Cue wedding 2. My family lives in LA, so we drove to Vegas, my dad paid for a wedding package at the Excalibur. So, it was me and my husband, my parents, my brother, one aunt and my moms best friends and her family. In total, it came to about $4k for the ceremony, renting of the dress, flowers, music, pictures, the reception in the hotel room, and the dinner at the Medieval Times thingy they had there. My aunt made our cake (we had a normal one plus a sugar free one for the diabetics in the family) We reused the rings we already had lol Again my dad was thrilled because we didn't see the point in paying for a big wedding, and he got off easier than his buddies who just paid $63k for his daughters wedding. Then, we flew back to the UK to see his family, and they were a bit sad that since they could not travel due to medical conditions, they missed out. SOOOOO cue wedding 3 lol Courthouse again, borrowed a gown from a friend, and had the reception at the pub down the street. Came to about $1k total US iirc. So...we had 3 weddings and all ended up being about $7k all together for all the weddings, food, and whatnot. Dad still teases me about 3 wedding in 3 years to the same guy....we get married now every year as a joke in different areas on our anniversary. This last year (our 15th!) we got married at Alki Beach by our friend who is an internet ordained minister of funny walks or something like that. Maybe I am my dad's daughter in that respect...I never wanted the big fairytale wedding. I was just happy to have a guy who loved me and could put up with my nutcase of a family, and I didn't want to spend money on a wedding. There are so many better things I wanted to spend money on!! Like, emergency accts, and retirement funds :P Disco Salmon fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Mar 25, 2015 |
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Mar 25, 2015 00:25
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There really needs to be a "Bad with Money: Wedding edition!" thread that's totally separate from this one.
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Mar 25, 2015 01:07
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Rudager posted:There really needs to be a "Bad with Money: Wedding edition!" thread that's totally separate from this one. Yeah I am right in the midst of this. It went from "our parents are paying for everything!" to 'well, the parents are getting the venue, food & bev, DJ and rehearsal...we can get the rest..." and I'm now finding out how ludicrously priced everything related to weddings is. $1500 for linens? really?
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Mar 25, 2015 01:24
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Blinkman987 posted:How often do people get away with promising themselves to elope and actually follow through with it? I've been very upfront with the few women in my life where I've discussed the idea of marriage that I think the entire wedding industry is one of those "American Dream" shams that bilks people out of money for some stupid image race that nobody's winning. I usually close with a proposition that we can either go to somewhere like Galapagos and do our thing, or get stuck in some hotel ball room with a bunch of people chewing through mediocre meals. Usually they're on board, but I also can't really say that these women plan to follow through as we as couples have never been at the stage to find out. Luckily, being single can be very good with money.
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Mar 25, 2015 01:31
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Blinkman987 posted:How often do people get away with promising themselves to elope and actually follow through with it? My husband and I go courthouse married. If I'd married someone else, I probably would have had a wedding, but he really didn't want it (and honestly, so much pressure to do all the planning is on the bride that I soured on the idea pretty quickly). I did spend $800 on my ring--got an heirloom diamond reset into a new setting. My husband didn't have any extra money so I paid for it myself.
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Mar 25, 2015 01:34
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Weddings are like anything else thats pure luxury, ie a poor having a $2000 wedding on credit is worse with money than someone paying for a $85000 wedding with budgeted disposable income.
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Mar 25, 2015 01:44
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I think weddings can be legit Bad With Money because they aren't always just luxury. Financials or not, a lot of people are pressured into having them, the industry is lovely/scammy as gently caress with pricing. Someone spending $80k on their dream wedding that they can afford is fine. Spending even $4000 that you're guilt tripped into and don't want to do is a different story. People's families aren't rational, and when it comes to family we don't act rationally.
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Mar 25, 2015 01:47
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xie posted:I think weddings can be legit Bad With Money because they aren't always just luxury. Financials or not, a lot of people are pressured into having them, the industry is lovely/scammy as gently caress with pricing. Someone spending $80k on their dream wedding that they can afford is fine. Spending even $4000 that you're guilt tripped into and don't want to do is a different story. People's families aren't rational, and when it comes to family we don't act rationally. I agree, but now we're getting into the semantics of bad with money vs bad with life again.
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Mar 25, 2015 02:05
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SiGmA_X posted:His bad buying a ring he couldn't afford... From afar, I see him as a guy who got his first professional job later in life and got promoted pretty quickly, so instead of going nuts at like age 23 with 35k buying bullshit, he's going nuts at like age 27 with 65k.
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Mar 25, 2015 02:11
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Mantle posted:Are you Chinese? My friends wedding will be this. In a small town deep inland because he married a girl from China and they have to have a massive wedding for respect and money reasons. So of course I will be there as his 5 person American squad, including his parents. It'll be a fun time, I'm sure. I'll die of alcohol poisoning, but I won't pay for it, so good with money?
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Mar 25, 2015 05:22
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MJBuddy posted:My friends wedding will be this. In a small town deep inland because he married a girl from China and they have to have a massive wedding for respect and money reasons. Free alcohol = best with money.
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Mar 25, 2015 09:02
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Rudager posted:There really needs to be a "Bad with Money: Wedding edition!" thread that's totally separate from this one.
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Mar 25, 2015 12:02
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MJBuddy posted:My friends wedding will be this. In a small town deep inland because he married a girl from China and they have to have a massive wedding for respect and money reasons. Goon discovers how to lower his living expenses to zero with this one weird trick. Salesmen hate him!
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Mar 25, 2015 12:32
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Blinkman987 posted:How often do people get away with promising themselves to elope and actually follow through with it? My family actively encouraged it. We were gifted a stay at a resort, so we paid the all-inclusive fee and airfare. I think it cost us like 2k once you included licensing fees, and I can tell everyone I got married in Jamaica, planned, and executed the entire thing while rum drunk with my wife and islanders.
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Mar 25, 2015 14:47
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Senf posted:Free alcohol = best with money. I see you have never had Chinese bai jiu before.
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Mar 25, 2015 14:52
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Antifreeze Head posted:I see you have never had Chinese bai jiu before. I have! Because entirely related to this wedding my friend was at a drinking engagement when he met her family and had to manage the wonderful game theory of people demanding you kill yourself. So he brought some back and I got to try it last weekend since, as he's told me, I have some responsibility to drink for him to help him curb his own liver failure from the event.
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Mar 25, 2015 15:05
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From my time in China, I was left with the understanding that it was more or less ok for the groom to drink water as he visits all the tables to basically prevent him dying of alcohol poisoning on the day of his wedding. For those not acquainted with the taste of bai jiu, it is about what you would think a hobo's armpit would taste like if you licked it. Something magical happens once it hits your stomach though, and whenever you burp it tastes then of fruit and flowers.
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Mar 25, 2015 15:23
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