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Years of the Beast is awesome.
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Mar 22, 2015 15:23
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Robotnik Nudes posted:I really i ironically loved Sorbos performance. He's such a delightfully endearingly smarmy rear end in a top hat and in the end God proves himself to be every bit the creepy rear end in a top hat he hated him for being. Oh man isn't that the one where they behead Christians in a guillotine? I watched that at my church several times and with my parents and their friends a couple times when I was a kid. I remember thinking it was cool but it's very hazy. I need to find a copy. jodai fucked around with this message at 16:01 on Mar 22, 2015 |
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Mar 22, 2015 15:58
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsZWQfYE-Ms On Youtube baby.
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Mar 22, 2015 16:02
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jodai posted:Oh man isn't that the one where they behead Christians in a guillotine? I watched that at my church several times and with my parents and their friends a couple times when I was a kid. I remember thinking it was cool but it's very hazy. I need to find a copy. The guillotine one was posted earlier in the thread, along with one where filthy communists stab a kid in the ears with pencils to make him deaf and then he vomits. I guess that has something to do with the bible.
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Mar 22, 2015 16:03
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Jack Gladney posted:The guillotine one was posted earlier in the thread, along with one where filthy communists stab a kid in the ears with pencils to make him deaf and then he vomits. I guess that has something to do with the bible. That would be "If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?"
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Mar 22, 2015 16:05
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Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:I love the Doctor who is upset because people say that God healed his patient and it was not him It seems with every one of these movies there's one actor/actress that bums me out being in it, and for this one it's Sean Astin being Dr. Jerky Jerk.
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Mar 22, 2015 16:57
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsZWQfYE-Ms Did you know the History Channel made one of these and airs it on Saturday nights? It's found-footage to make it fresh for the new century. I don't know who's playing the part of the commies this time around. They have an FAQ about it: http://www.history.com/shows/revelation-the-end-of-days/articles/revelation-the-end-of-days-faq I guess they made it because they're owned by Moonies? I would have expected a UFO-themed movie first, really. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9suANftwAk
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Mar 22, 2015 17:35
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:That would be "If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?" And that's not even the best part of the movie! "You stupid leetle fool!" 
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Mar 23, 2015 22:22
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The best part is this. It might be from The Burning Hell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwPALkRLMzY Sorbo is incredible. He has a minor role as a local kingpin in the fantastic post-Rapture action film, Black Rider: Revelation Road 3. It's nominally the third in a series but the first 2 are not action movies and you can jump in without being too confused.  Also featuring The Boz! 
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Mar 23, 2015 23:14
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Not strictly a Christian movie (although come on, we all know how it works), but Kevin Sorbo's next role will be in Poison Sky, a movie about chemtrails. Here's a clip: https://vimeo.com/70378499
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Mar 27, 2015 11:49
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UltimoDragonQuest posted:The best part is this. It might be from The Burning Hell. Kevin Sorbo as Romeo Rose
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Mar 27, 2015 15:25
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wins.
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I love how this thread is also becoming the Kevin Sorbo thread.
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Mar 27, 2015 19:00
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bobkatt013 posted:I love how this thread is also becoming the Kevin Sorbo thread. Of course. He's the son of god. Totally legit.
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Mar 27, 2015 19:03
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I showed my wife the trailer for Do You Believe? She's Christian though she hates pretty much all Christian media and comes from a super loving conservative southern christian family. Her first response to the trailer "Holy gently caress this film is goddamn racist. Of course the black guys are criminals." She posted it on her facebook wall asking why Christian films are terrible and why this one makes a note of being racist as well. A little later she received a text from her sister (who is married to a church music minister) asking "Why you hatin' on a good movie?" Guys.... why we hatin' on Christian movies?
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Mar 27, 2015 19:06
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I'll preface this by saying there are few things I hate more on the internet than edgy "New Atheists" like you see on Reddit. I don't think making GBS threads on religion or religious people is particularly productive or even fun, as someone who wishes the US were a lot more secular. That said, I'm about to put on my New Atheist hat for this post: Christian movies get a complete pass from evangelical audiences because all of them being really bad and panned by critics plays into their persecution narrative perfectly. If critics hate the movie and it never gets a wide release, they love it and blame the secular, leftist media for trying to push the movie aside. As a bonus, if one of the turds manages any sort of success, it proves that conservative Christians are a silent majority in the US (even though it's really just that the movies are low-budget and church groups get bused in to see them, so of course they can turn a profit easily). On the rare occasion that a Christian movie is so bad that even evangelicals won't touch it, they can either say "Well it would've been better if Hollyweird hadn't sabotaged it and refused to produce it from the start!" Seriously look at the Rotten Tomatoes critic/user reviews for these movies, it's staggering how deluded these guys are:   Old Fashioned review posted:If you really want to know if a movie is worth spending your money on, read audience reviews instead of critics reviews. This movie is authentically real, with real lives and problems facing people in the real world today. Old Fashioned review posted:This is not a bells and whistles movie. But what you will get in this story of great subject matter (which has its tense moments) is a smile to span the faces of you and your date in the end. And you will want to see it again. This is a story America needs now. I am still amazed at all the facets of the different relationships and quality of show that were illustrated in just 1hr 55min. Can't wait for the DVD! Old Fashioned review posted:Just when staying true to real values seems like an impossible idea and so outdated no one would ever believe a story with such ideas, along comes Rik Swartzwelder with Old Fashioned! I loved this movie. I was swept away in the story and the cinematography. Old Fashioned review posted:Ignore the liberal critics. You'll never get a decent answer out of them on this absolutely delightful, refreshing romantic film by Rik Schwartzwelder. This tender, touching, sweetly funny movie will make your heart sing and wish for days gone by! Don't miss it! God's Not Dead review posted:One of the best movies I saw in 2014. Most of the people criticizing this movie didn't want an independent movie about Christianity to succeed and it did just that in spite of all of the so called experts crucifying it (no pun intended). Its a movie without profanity, violence or explosions so its not going to appeal to the casual movie goer. God's Not Dead review posted:I read a lot of the professional critics reviews and was disappointed at the hate. One even asked that it be banned as filth. [note: This never happened] People and comments like that tell me that movies like this are needed. Just as is stated in the movie, often times non believers are not satisfied with not believing, they are out to make sure that no one else can believe either. They would go so far as to try to censure contrary beliefs away. These people are, plainly, idiots. They're a mobilized, motivated equivalent of people who will go out and see the latest Transformers movie every year just because it's there and they like visual noise. But it goes beyond just bad taste: These movies touch on (and I'd argue exploit, to some degree) this audience's very identity and chosen cosmology and assures them that just by consuming a piece of entertainment, they're turning the tide in the culture war. It's the perfect encapsulation of late-capitalism, where consumerism infiltrates the Right's most sacred and sincere set of beliefs, like Urban Outfitters selling Che Guevara shirts made in sweatshops. Where it goes from curiosity to annoyance to me is the way these people talk about the movies, like in the quotes you see above. It's the very embodiment of smarm. (This article is fantastic, seriously please read it.) These people go beyond just consuming and enjoying an objectively bad product. They even go beyond the sort of self-righteous, shallow consumption people accuse millennial hipsters of taking part in, because in the minds of evangelical audiences, these movies serve both an earthly and an eschatological purpose. They're St. Louis Cardinals fans without any real skill or success to fall back on. Kevin Sorbo's character in God's Not Dead is a perfect tool for these movies, because he teaches audiences how to understand critics who dislike these movies for reasons that are either totally arbitrary or a result of deep-seated, repressed hatred of God, whatever that even means. It's the ultimate  genre, because the believers/consumers/audiences both know more about God and the universe than the snarky critics, they also somehow claim to better know what makes a movie good. They praise the movies' direction and cinematography without knowing what specifically makes a movie well directed or what the hell cinematography even is. They say the stilted writing and acting (which, as a result of the writing, is doomed to suck) are believable despite the movies being about things like college which many of them refuse or choose not to attend, or dating in the 21st century even though a good chunk of the audience is over 50 and hasn't dated in decades. Not that any of it matters - when a movie is so bad and cheap it can't even be hidden, their defenders just dance around it as not being important, since it's "a good story and that's what people want". I find all of this incredibly fascinating because I have a friend (okay, and acquaintance) who is now trying to break into the scene. She's really smart but probably got fleeced out of a bunch of money by attending a conservative religious graduate film school with a focus on churning out Christian filmmakers. To my knowledge she and her friends are all hoping one of their boring, predictable miracle stories will get picked up the way others like Old Fashioned, made by and starring total unknowns, were. I don't think she'd mind making a bunch of money even if it isn't her chief motivation. I still feel like it's a total crapshoot though. There's no way most of these make any money, and I wonder what the actors she's working with think of the projects and their careers. Cognac McCarthy fucked around with this message at 20:27 on Mar 27, 2015 |
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Mar 27, 2015 20:23
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I wonder what would happen if someone made an explicitly Christian movie that wasn't low-effort garbage? Would it get shouted down by the True Believers for being too much like Secular Big Hollywood or would it potentially have an effect on the industry?
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Mar 27, 2015 21:56
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LORD OF BUTT posted:I wonder what would happen if someone made an explicitly Christian movie that wasn't low-effort garbage? Would it get shouted down by the True Believers for being too much like Secular Big Hollywood or would it potentially have an effect on the industry? We got one of those and it was a gigantic hit - Passion of the Christ.
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Mar 27, 2015 22:04
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Huh. Wonder why nobody else seems to have tried that. It wouldn't even have to be big-budget, just competent.
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Mar 27, 2015 22:05
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Because it's not just about the budget - Passion of the Christ had a reasonably big budget but also a director who had a pretty good idea of how to make a decent movie. There's also only so many ways you can make the subject matter interesting. Passion of the Christ was a big budget biblical drama, but most of the movies you see in this thread are cheap relationship dramas and the like that have no way of justifying that kind of budget. It'd be interesting to see Christian filmmakers branch out into really weird stuff like Christian sci-fi and so on. Maybe a big-budget Bibleman movie.
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Mar 27, 2015 22:39
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Bibleman could legit be spun as a Frank Miller-esque action thriller: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3En1-5f-J2E
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Mar 27, 2015 22:45
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Christian movies are bad because the content doesn't matter, only the message. They don't have to be big effort because they don't need to be big effort. Christian movies are "I have this VERY SPECIFIC message I want to tell. Now I need to force everything to conform to that in the story." Angry atheist philosophy teacher.... hrm.... lets just make him mad at God! Doctor with a God complex.... I BET HE IS MAD AT GOD! Christian movies are made up of four types of characters: Good old fashioned flawless believers Nonbelievers who have somehow never heard of God and when they do, it solves all their problems. Nonbelievers who will never believe because THEY DE SERVE TO GO TO HELL. And lastly, former believers who turned away for no reason other than being mad at God. Put all your square blocks in those round holes and you have a Christian movie. Movies are about entertainment. If you want to teach/preach, make a documentary. This is what Christian cinema doesn't understand. They put message above entertainment.
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Mar 27, 2015 22:50
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This is basically also why conservative stand-up is generally awful. Stand-up shows by conservatives can be OK, but I'm talking about shows that are explicitly written to be "conservative" in message.
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Mar 27, 2015 22:57
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Xibanya posted:This is basically also why conservative stand-up is generally awful. I've posted it in D&D in the past, but this Christian stand-up routine is some of the most effective evangelizing I've ever encountered.
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Mar 27, 2015 23:09
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I'm watching the first Bibleman video, and it's interesting how the central dramatic conflict is about a frustrated, Christian theater director trying to figure out how to make the Bible exciting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kNCIYVO2N4 It's basically a less subtle version of A Charlie Brown Christmas. EDIT: Lol, they literally don't even explain how Bibleman overcame the devious Decepto. He just prays and then in the next shot Decepto is imprisoned vowing revenge. K. Waste fucked around with this message at 23:16 on Mar 27, 2015 |
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Mar 27, 2015 23:11
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Cognac McCarthy posted:Because it's not just about the budget - Passion of the Christ had a reasonably big budget but also a director who had a pretty good idea of how to make a decent movie. A movie about the book of Revelation framed as an alien invasion movie could work.
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Mar 27, 2015 23:17
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In my mind, there are two type of people who make christian films: - profiteers. Its proven that you don't have to make a good movie. So you can shovel in cheap poo poo and rake in the dollars of Christians who will defend your poo poo work - hardcore evangelicals. They have an extreme view of the bible and don't work in subtleties, thus poo poo films. I mean gently caress man, I'm a beginning screenwriter and I bet I could write a better script than this poo poo. I'm half tempted to try but I don't think I would avoid going insane doing it.
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Mar 27, 2015 23:20
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Mordiceius posted:- profiteers. Its proven that you don't have to make a good movie. So you can shovel in cheap poo poo and rake in the dollars of Christians who will defend your poo poo work I don't see how Pier Paolo Pasonili figures in this.
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Mar 27, 2015 23:21
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K. Waste posted:I don't see how Pier Paolo Pasonili figures in this. I figured it was accepted that I was referring to modern american cinema.
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Mar 27, 2015 23:37
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I'm actually having a seizure watching Bibleman. edit: Bibleman literally just said, "I love seeing so many hands raised." He's a legit Nazi. K. Waste fucked around with this message at 23:53 on Mar 27, 2015 |
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Mar 27, 2015 23:48
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Xibanya posted:This is basically also why conservative stand-up is generally awful. Are there examples of interesting propaganda media (of any ideology)?
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Mar 28, 2015 00:04
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LORD OF BUTT posted:I wonder what would happen if someone made an explicitly Christian movie that wasn't low-effort garbage? Would it get shouted down by the True Believers for being too much like Secular Big Hollywood or would it potentially have an effect on the industry? Chariots of Fire was a critical success. To dispute what's been said in this thread, there's plenty of ways that you can use explicitly pro-Christian and religious themes in a movie and have it turn out well. These are things that have become embedded in western culture from nearly 2000 years of hegemony. There's centuries of examples of how to do it. The problem is with the modern audience for these films. They don't want to be challenged or deal with conflict or even face things slightly outside of their comfortable positions. They want to have their worldview strongly reaffirmed and to be told that they are inherently better than everyone else. So you get characters that are paragons with only the faintest trace of doubt which can be easily smashed by a strong authority figure telling them how awesome Christianity is. You get strawman villains who make the jerkiest of Internet atheists look like polite and rational people. Compare this to Chariots of Fire where one of the central conflicts of the movie is that the Christian runner has to decide between his faith, which he talks about demonstrating through running, and competing in the Olympics. There aren't any easy answers one way or the other for him and in the end he decides to choose faith. The important thing is that it's an actual conflict with human characters questioning if their religion is worth it. This current crop of films doesn't even want to ask that basic, everyday question.
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Mar 28, 2015 00:13
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computer parts posted:Are there examples of interesting propaganda media (of any ideology)? Battleship Potemkin
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Mar 28, 2015 00:14
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computer parts posted:Are there examples of interesting propaganda media (of any ideology)? 
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Mar 28, 2015 00:15
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Cognac McCarthy posted:smarmchat Not as prevalent in God is Not Dead (<3 Kevin Sorbos), but this is in full loving force in Old Fashioned. I cannot decide whether that movie is a passion project or an ego trip. One thing it's not is romantic; it's a horror movie with a Stepford Wife Smile on its face. I mean look at this film from afar; it's a film about a young woman, one who just escaped a physically abusive relationship, being forced to capitulate to another man's rules because (the movie assures us) he is an old fashioned gentleman. In reality, the man is an obsessive control freak with deep-seated issues. He does not love her and he never does anything romantic for her (the ending is not romantic, a candlelit dinner in the baby food aisle? Jesus Christ). He does not "care about her heart" he cares about her uterus, he cares about appearances and he is obsessed with the idea of having a kid with this woman. Have I mentioned that she looks half as old as the dude? Yeah... You think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. Their first loving date has him getting out a Christian PUA book and grilling her on marriage questions. When she can't answer "are you good with kids?", he takes her to his friends' baby and teaches her to cut up pears into baby food. He continues to use that book throughout the film, even when they're sitting at the park together. That spoiler above is not an accident. He smarmly asks her "too much?" when she calls him out on the aisle they're in. He obviously has hang-ups about sex (he used to coerce girls into pornographic films) which everyone in the movie calls him out on. He is still portrayed as the moral crusader, even though he is honestly the biggest rear end in a top hat in the entire film. He drops lectures and life lessons at the drop of a hat, yet never once apologizes for his faults. Like he basically ruins his friend's bachelor party, by shooing the stripper they called in before out of the room, and he acts like it was all his friends' fault. The stripper and her bouncer/manager dude corner him and tell him that he screwed her out of 300 dollars worth of tips (WHICH IS TOTALLY TRUE YOU rear end in a top hat) which our hero just shrugs off. There was one hilarious loving trailer where the director compared OF's protag to Christian Grey. The ultimate   line came at the end, where the trailer urged young women to "pick the man your father would have approved of". It was removed from YouTube unfortunately, probably because someone told him that it was basically a 5 minute long Freudian Slip.So yeah, I guess if Christians wanted their own SoG film, they got it. Though the comparison is a bit more apt than they intended: a young woman falling into a semi-abusive relationship with a man who has unorthodox beliefs and hang-ups about sex. Lovely. Seraphic Neoman fucked around with this message at 08:35 on Mar 28, 2015 |
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Mar 28, 2015 04:54
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This topic and thread sparked a nice discussion between my wife and I this afternoon. We were trying to hash out what would make a decent modern Christian movies. I'm half tempted to write up a treatment for it.
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Mar 28, 2015 06:23
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computer parts posted:Are there examples of interesting propaganda media (of any ideology)? The Battle of Algiers Good Christian films - Life of Brian and Last Temptation of Christ
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Mar 28, 2015 06:33
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I think you really need to consider that Christian films like we are discussing here, are at their heart really just genre films. Pretty much by definition, genre films aren't going to be accessible to mainstream audiences. It's no different than asking or expecting a 70s blaxploitation filmmaker to create a movie that has cross-over appeal to white audiences. The movies follow the general styles and conventions of the genre, and if you make a movie that caters to the styles and conventions of more mainstream moviegoers, you lose the support of your target audience. Really the most interesting and compelling aspect of it is the simultaneous desire for financial success and profitability, coupled with the willful creation of such niche media. Personally, I would think that true believers would want to create movies that spread the gospel, and they would consider the success of the movie in terms other than box office or DVD sales. Personally, I think if you are trying to judge the merits of Christian Movie X and Transformers 4 on the same terms, then you've already lost the loving argument.
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Mar 28, 2015 09:37
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Is Capalert still a thing for reviews on the Christian values of movies? I looked on their site and while they have a lot of movies, it feels like quite a few modern releases are missing.
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Mar 28, 2015 10:19
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Cap quit his job to do movie reviews full-time because he believed God would provide, but nobody has donated any money to him since. The latest "new release" on his site is Spider-Man 3.
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Mar 28, 2015 14:05
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JediTalentAgent posted:Is Capalert still a thing for reviews on the Christian values of movies? I looked on their site and while they have a lot of movies, it feels like quite a few modern releases are missing.  That website!
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Mar 28, 2015 14:08
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