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ravenkult posted:Don't worry, it's only gonna be a couple of days, tops. Unless they like it and bring it in for serious consideration!
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# ? Mar 29, 2015 20:52 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 14:43 |
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newtestleper posted:I don't think this is necessarily fair. It is possible to have a retelling of a story that remains stylistically faithful to the source while significantly differing in plot. I don't think you should listen to people telling you that this is a bad idea, especially if it's a thunderdome entry. To get even more general than this, "but I might gently caress it up and it might be horrible" is never a good reason not to write something.
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# ? Mar 29, 2015 20:56 |
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newtestleper posted:I don't think this is necessarily fair. It is possible to have a retelling of a story that remains stylistically faithful to the source while significantly differing in plot. I don't think you should listen to people telling you that this is a bad idea, especially if it's a thunderdome entry. The actual story pitch he made sounds interesting and there's nothing wrong if he wants to write it. Hell, I'd read it. But if he wants to do Beowulf then he should just do Beowulf instead of making noises about "keeping the underlying story structure" when the underlying story structure of Beowulf is as common as dirt, and used in many stories that we consume today, fantasy or not.
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# ? Mar 29, 2015 20:58 |
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General Battuta posted:Unless they like it and bring it in for serious consideration! haha
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# ? Mar 29, 2015 20:59 |
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HIJK posted:So you would in fact not be retelling Beowulf at all since you're now excising the most valuable elements of Beowulf that separates the poem from other literature. You would in fact be rehashing The Legend of Zelda. Complete with wise men. Considering how much money it made Nintendo I've seen worse ideas. No, I'm not going to do this. Videogame plots only work in videogames. Look, I'm a crappy writer, and the only way I'm going to get better will be to read more and write outside what I'm familiar with.
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# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:08 |
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Screaming Idiot posted:Considering how much money it made Nintendo I've seen worse ideas. No, I'm not going to do this. Videogame plots only work in videogames. You're fine, actually, and you've toned down the cheerily sweaty defensiveness so that's good too. It's a fine premise, so write the story and worry about whether it's offensive, or, worse, dull, once you have an actual slab of words in front of you.
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# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:13 |
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Write out your idea and if it doesn't work figure out why it doesn't work afterwards.
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# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:48 |
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ravenkult posted:haha Why would you laugh at this without having read the story? Seems a bit mean spirited. Good luck, Fausty! Let us know how it goes. newtestleper fucked around with this message at 21:51 on Mar 29, 2015 |
# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:49 |
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newtestleper posted:Why would you laugh at this without having read the story? Seems a bit mean spirited. Nah, it's just really hard, even for like, top writers. I'm just joking.
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# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:51 |
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docbeard posted:To get even more general than this, "but I might gently caress it up and it might be horrible" is never a good reason not to write something. This. Doing ridiculous poo poo: my entire creative process in a nutshell.
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# ? Mar 30, 2015 00:34 |
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dont take my advice on anything but i think you should pay attention to the person who said to make sure its authentic. i think it would be really akward if you werent mexican-american, or havent lived in a ghetto, or both
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# ? Mar 30, 2015 03:45 |
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Then again, plenty of writers who've never punched another human in the face let alone fought in war have written really good war novels. Granted, they aren't all that accurate a lot of the time, but they can still be good and at least have some degree of authenticity if the writer gets the characters right. Only people like me will whine about how they described tactics wrong or had the wrong ranks for positions, etc. I think it can work the same way for other cultures and settings you aren't physically familiar with.
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# ? Mar 30, 2015 04:09 |
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Martello you can't write anymore cyberpunk cuz you're not cyberpunk
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# ? Mar 30, 2015 04:27 |
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This is why I refuse to ever write female characters. Or black. Or gay. Or anything other than white hetero males basically.
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# ? Mar 30, 2015 07:00 |
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Chairchucker posted:This is why I refuse to ever write female characters. Or black. Or gay. Or anything other than white hetero males basically. Thankfully, as a body-thieving parasite from another dimension I can live as any variant of human I desire. Unfortunately I've only been a white male, since that's the easiest option. The others keep getting killed or enslaved or otherwise oppressed. I never could wrap my thought-polyp around your bizarre traditions concerning sexual apparatus and epidermal pigmentation.
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# ? Mar 30, 2015 07:57 |
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i guess that was silly. point withdrawn. edit: altho i think writing about a socioeconomic reality experienced by minorities is a bit different from cyberpunk which is pretty much the domain of white ppl (here i am ignorant so educate me if you wish). im just trying to underscore the point that you should prolly be careful but again what do i know take the moon fucked around with this message at 17:05 on Mar 30, 2015 |
# ? Mar 30, 2015 14:16 |
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Screaming Idiot posted:Thankfully, as a body-thieving parasite from another dimension I can live as any variant of human I desire. Unfortunately I've only been a white male, since that's the easiest option. The others keep getting killed or enslaved or otherwise oppressed. I'd read this trade paperback.
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# ? Mar 30, 2015 14:20 |
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Screaming Idiot posted:Thankfully, as a body-thieving parasite from another dimension I can live as any variant of human I desire. Unfortunately I've only been a white male, since that's the easiest option. The others keep getting killed or enslaved or otherwise oppressed. check your alien priviledge
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# ? Mar 30, 2015 14:45 |
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Tyrannosaurus posted:Martello you can't write anymore cyberpunk cuz you're not cyberpunk
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# ? Mar 30, 2015 21:08 |
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ravenkult posted:check your alien priviledge Maybe you should stop being so jealous of me and start worrying about your bio-frame's inevitable decay, air-breather. Also, how the hell do you people walk around with skeletons inside you? I bet it makes it really hard to squeeze into tight spaces to avoid predators.
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# ? Mar 30, 2015 21:17 |
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Screaming Idiot posted:Maybe you should stop being so jealous of me and start worrying about your bio-frame's inevitable decay, air-breather. Hahaha, the alien doesn't know how to predator properly! Now if you'll excuse me, I have meat creatures to consume.
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# ? Mar 30, 2015 21:56 |
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x-posted from tdome: sebmojo posted:so this is all very well but it's not going to get the ~novel~ written now is it. Sign up to the Long Walk over here http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3710042 and bet that you won't gently caress up on squeezing out 4000 words worth of goony drivel this month. Threads will be monthly, me and muffin and fumblemouse are in it for a year thanks to drunken promises come join us come note that 4k is a minimum, if you want to break your brain making GBS threads out a nano then be my guest
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# ? Mar 31, 2015 05:09 |
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edit: wrong thread lol
angel opportunity fucked around with this message at 06:02 on Mar 31, 2015 |
# ? Mar 31, 2015 05:59 |
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Is anyone doing Camp NaNoWriMo? It starts tomorrow.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 03:07 |
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Hey everybody, sorry to intrude. If the following post violates rules or protocol I'm very sorry. I wrote a story. I worked very hard at it. Then I hit a point where I couldn't see anything wrong with it. I sent it out for publication thinking at the very least I'd get some good feedback. It got published and I didn't get any feedback. I'd like to know if any of you could take a look at it and tell me what's up. http://www.pifmagazine.com/2015/04/a-young-persons-guide-to-the-brothers-fullam/ Thanks for your time, and again, sorry if I'm violating protocol with my post.
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# ? Apr 4, 2015 13:40 |
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Also if this is the wrong place for someone looking for feedback could you please tell me where to go? Thanks
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# ? Apr 4, 2015 13:44 |
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The dark side of short fiction is that nobody will read it except other authors who are friends with you.
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# ? Apr 4, 2015 16:18 |
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General Battuta posted:The dark side of short fiction is that nobody will read it except other authors who are friends with you. Good to know. Maybe I should join a writers group.
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# ? Apr 4, 2015 21:22 |
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Neukoln19 posted:Hey everybody, sorry to intrude. If the following post violates rules or protocol I'm very sorry. You're fine this is the right place, stop apologising. Thunderdome is the other place for getting regular crits, probably? But read a few dozen pages of the thread before you post to pick up the style. I'll have a look at your story, but really being published is the only feedback that actually matters.
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# ? Apr 4, 2015 22:47 |
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Holy hell. Ok. I gave up halfway through because I got tired of the error-riddled word salad but you've got a knack for the appealingly odd image. However your characters are cardboard marionettes and your situation is a tottering inverted tower of Hanoi of absurdity. Thunderdome isn't a panacea but it's great for cleaning up prose and focusing you on story, so I prescribe a couple of months, weekly, p.r.
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# ? Apr 4, 2015 22:56 |
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Right so, I've been writing this project for myself for some times now, I need to get some feed back. http://pastebin.com/jtWCgQtJ To elarorate, the project is a comic, but I have completely separted the visuals from the actual plot. I have also given myself guidelines to follow with the visuals and the comic structure that profoundly change how the story is written. First, I write the story, then I illustrate it. The guidelines themselves basically mean that I can only use pure dialogue (no flashbacks, no narration, little to no monologuing, no sound effects, no stupid editing, etc.) So, what, this is a critique of dialogue I am looking at, you can leave the translating to visuals for the most part to me. This is an excerpt of one of the later scenes in Act 1 that fairly well captures what I am going with my dialogue. Whether or not, its self evident, if its subtle, if it gets the point across, if its ponient, and above all if its interesting, any kind of reaction or critism I accept. Context: "(http://i.imgur.com/HKehvAf.png map for reference) The Tagma that Polytechnous is in command of is a proxy force thats been set near the mountains of the Eastern Oroi (Upper left, mid and right), using engineering detachments to block entrance to and abandonded complex found beneath the mountains. Problem is that the mountains are right on the borders of the an enemy nation. In the plot, something manages to bypass the engineering detachments and breach into the underground abandonded complex. As a result, Polytechnous sends out communications (enacting Case Yellow) and sets up a meeting with the enemy command, Varnaskhia, whom he knows since SPOILER she was for close to a decade a slave to Polytechnous before she run away to an enemy nation a decade before this and joined their armed forces I also pause aburbtly in the end after Polytechnous lets the find line as the ending of that scene requires a plot dump for context that will bore/confuse you if you haven't read the rest of the Act. Finally, this is military fiction in a fantasy setting with heavy philosophy slant towards it, if this can help you in any way,
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# ? Apr 5, 2015 04:08 |
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sebmojo posted:Holy hell. Ok. I gave up halfway through because I got tired of the error-riddled word salad but you've got a knack for the appealingly odd image. However your characters are cardboard marionettes and your situation is a tottering inverted tower of Hanoi of absurdity. Thanks for the feedback. Let me tell you, of the 12 or so places I sent it to all but one rejected it. I knew there was something wrong with it.
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# ? Apr 5, 2015 04:26 |
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Neukoln19 posted:Thanks for the feedback. Let me tell you, of the 12 or so places I sent it to all but one rejected it. I knew there was something wrong with it. I was quite charmed by the odd cadences at the beginning, and i'm sure it's fixable, but there are loads of obvious grammatical errors even in the half that I read so maybe they just weren't very picky?
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# ? Apr 5, 2015 04:47 |
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sebmojo posted:I was quite charmed by the odd cadences at the beginning, and i'm sure it's fixable, but there are loads of obvious grammatical errors even in the half that I read so maybe they just weren't very picky? Probably. It's not a very big publication. Your feedback is the only real feedback I've gotten on the story. Thank you. I'd like to improve as a writer but I'm not in a big hurry.
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# ? Apr 5, 2015 05:04 |
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TheGreekOwl posted:Right so, I've been writing this project for myself for some times now, I need to get some feed back. quote:Varnaskhia: State and violence, one and the same, and before me a moaning creature, away on earth’s remotest land, unable to understand his being, much less the beings of others, feeling himself absolutely dependent on blind, hidden forces to deliver him from mischief wholesale devouring. Have I not just described you, Polytechnous. ...
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# ? Apr 5, 2015 05:43 |
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Neukoln19 posted:Probably. It's not a very big publication. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3691539
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# ? Apr 5, 2015 05:44 |
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sebmojo posted:... To be more constructive, you have a great and intricately arranged mountain of detail, but you need to think about characters rather than mouthpieces for ideas. What would the person who is speaking your words want? what would they do to achieve that? answer those questions and your ideas will be interesting.
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# ? Apr 5, 2015 11:59 |
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sebmojo posted:To be more constructive, you have a great and intricately arranged mountain of detail, but you need to think about characters rather than mouthpieces for ideas. What would the person who is speaking your words want? what would they do to achieve that? This is a really good piece of advice. I always seem to be at a loss to make my characters more round. Do you have any other tips for doing this? Again, thanks for your time.
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# ? Apr 5, 2015 15:13 |
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Why are you writing about a gryphon
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# ? Apr 5, 2015 15:18 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 14:43 |
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ravenkult posted:Why are you writing about gryphons Because I want to.
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# ? Apr 5, 2015 16:03 |