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woke wedding drone
Jun 1, 2003

by exmarx
Fun Shoe

PupsOfWar posted:

John McCain as SecDef would be mediocre because SecDef isn't in charge of starting wars, just prosecuting them.

We need him to be Secretary of State.

Oh he'll start a war all right. He'd start a war as Secretary of Commerce.

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Series DD Funding
Nov 25, 2014

by exmarx

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

Wait I thought the whole point of getting rid of DOMA last year was for same-sex couples to have federal benefits. I thought that was the point of that case.

Most federal agencies have adopted the "place of celebration" rule, where you're federally married if the marriage is legal where it was performed. But Windsor doesn't require that, and the SSA says the marriage has to be legal where you currently live.

Cantorsdust
Aug 10, 2008

Infinitely many points, but zero length.

Fried Chicken posted:

Vote Graham 2016! We could go for another deeply rumored, possibly closeted rear end in a top hat who will bring about civil war!

Lincoln?

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ

James Buchanan lived with a "roommate" named William Rufus King for ten years. Andrew Jackson nicknamed them "Miss Nancy" and "Aunt Fancy".

Gyges
Aug 4, 2004

NOW NO ONE
RECOGNIZE HULK

Joementum posted:

Full list of dogless Presidents: McKinley, Arthur, A. Johnson, Fillmore, Taylor, Polk, W. H. Harrison, Van Buren, Jackson, J. Q. Adams*, Madison, Jefferson.


* Kept an alligator in the White House as a pet, so I'm giving him a pass.

I petition that Jackson get a similar exemption because his parrot was pretty awesome. It could curse in both English and Spanish, and had to be removed from his funeral because it wouldn't stop screaming curses.

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc

SedanChair posted:

I really just realized how much I want it to be Graham. I want him to beat off competitors with money and flip-flopping and get to the general. And grow a big beard, and turn into his true self.

Graham/Frank 2016!

Trevor Hale
Dec 8, 2008

What have I become, my Swedish friend?

Joementum posted:

James Buchanan lived with a "roommate" named William Rufus King for ten years. Andrew Jackson nicknamed them "Miss Nancy" and "Aunt Fancy".

That is because Andrew Jackson is an rear end in a top hat.

Quorum
Sep 24, 2014

REMIND ME AGAIN HOW THE LITTLE HORSE-SHAPED ONES MOVE?

Trevor Hale posted:

That is because Andrew Jackson is an rear end in a top hat.

You can precipitate the forcible dislocation of several distinct native peoples and also have working gaydar.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold
As awful as Jackson is, being the only president to have to be restrained from beating his would be assassin to death is a pretty badass distinction.

Badger of Basra
Jul 26, 2007

Joementum posted:

Full list of dogless Presidents: McKinley, Arthur, A. Johnson, Fillmore, Taylor, Polk, W. H. Harrison, Van Buren, Jackson, J. Q. Adams*, Madison, Jefferson.


* Kept an alligator in the White House as a pet, so I'm giving him a pass.

So it looks like only assholes or weirdos don't have dogs.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

How many voters knew that James Buchanan was probably a homosexual? I'm just wondering if it was something that was only well known in political circles... I don't know anything about the culture of those times - did people not care about it or did they just not know? And if they didn't know, why didn't anyone tell them? People always talk about how politics isn't any dirtier now than it used to be, so I would think his opponent would have made it known somehow if he thought he could get some votes for himself.

Chamale
Jul 11, 2010

I'm helping!



OctoberBlues posted:

How many voters knew that James Buchanan was probably a homosexual? I'm just wondering if it was something that was only well known in political circles... I don't know anything about the culture of those times - did people not care about it or did they just not know? And if they didn't know, why didn't anyone tell them? People always talk about how politics isn't any dirtier now than it used to be, so I would think his opponent would have made it known somehow if he thought he could get some votes for himself.

The public didn't know that FDR was disabled, and the journalists who knew were politely asked not to tell people about it. It's strange to me because the 19th century had all kinds of political viciousness like voters being attacked in the streets or poll workers intimidating minorities, but it seems that some big secrets managed to not get turned into big stories by journalists.

Deep Hurting
Jan 19, 2006

SedanChair posted:

It's why, maybe just at the end of the country for a minute, I want Newt.

Think of the pets.

gently caress You And Diebold posted:

Create zoo czar position, appoint newt for life. Should keep him out of trouble

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc
Can we put this in the OP?

http://www.salon.com/2015/03/31/americas_next_top_bigot_why_gops_upcoming_primary_is_an_anti_gay_freak_show/



I like how Rand is peaking out.

Full Battle Rattle
Aug 29, 2009

As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.

Raskolnikov38 posted:

Sadly RAM was not yet developed to its current capabilities.

allegedly his AM was pretty R by the end of his presidency, alzheimers will do that

DaveWoo
Aug 14, 2004

Fun Shoe

My favorite part of the article is the comment from that idiot at Buzzfeed who's been trying to sell Jeb as the "gay-friendly" GOP candidate:

McKay Coppins posted:

Positioning oneself as gay-friendly *in the context of a Republican presidential primary* does not preclude endorsing religious freedom laws

"Hey, it's all relative! At least he's not advocating burning gays at the stake!" :downs:

GoutPatrol
Oct 17, 2009

*Stupid Babby*

Chamale posted:

The public didn't know that FDR was disabled, and the journalists who knew were politely asked not to tell people about it. It's strange to me because the 19th century had all kinds of political viciousness like voters being attacked in the streets or poll workers intimidating minorities, but it seems that some big secrets managed to not get turned into big stories by journalists.

They knew he was disabled,but not to the extent that he was.

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc

DaveWoo posted:

My favorite part of the article is the comment from that idiot at Buzzfeed who's been trying to sell Jeb as the "gay-friendly" GOP candidate:

That law isn't about discriminating against gays, Bill Clinton signed it twenty years ago! :downs:

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ
Cruzin' into third place in PPP's latest poll.

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ
This machine polls in the single digits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXpMuBshfQQ

Wheeee
Mar 11, 2001

When a tree grows, it is soft and pliable. But when it's dry and hard, it dies.

Hardness and strength are death's companions. Flexibility and softness are the embodiment of life.

That which has become hard shall not triumph.

Joementum posted:

Cruzin' into third place in PPP's latest poll.



I expect we'll see Not Sure rise in the polls after Cruz flames out.

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007

What 2012 presidential said this

quote:

"With his Iran deal, Barack Obama is for the 300 million souls of the United States what Andreas Lubitz was for the 150 souls on the German Wings flight - a deranged pilot flying his entire nation into the rocks. After the fact, among the smoldering remains of American cities, the shocked survivors will ask, why did he do it?"


Michelle Bachmaan

SpiderHyphenMan
Apr 1, 2010

by Fluffdaddy

Wheeee posted:

I expect we'll see Not Sure rise in the polls after Cruz flames out.


Carson's gonna drop off way before Cruz.

Stunning Honky
Sep 7, 2004

" . . . "

SedanChair posted:

I really just realized how much I want it to be Graham. I want him to beat off competitors

The only headline to top Santorum surges, Romney on top

Kellsterik
Mar 30, 2012

quote:

"With his Iran deal, Barack Obama is for the 300 million souls of the United States what Andreas Lubitz was for the 150 souls on the German Wings flight - a deranged pilot flying his entire nation into the rocks. After the fact, among the smoldering remains of American cities, the shocked survivors will ask, why did he do it?"



Hopefully we get some more stuff of this caliber after the next mass shooting, using the deaths of innocent people as a prop really elevates political discourse.

Stunning Honky
Sep 7, 2004

" . . . "
WE THE PEOPLE DEMAND TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "MUSTER VOTES"

baw
Nov 5, 2008

RESIDENT: LAISSEZ FAIR-SNEZHNEVSKY INSTITUTE FOR FORENSIC PSYCHIATRY

Kellsterik posted:



Hopefully we get some more stuff of this caliber after the next mass shooting, using the deaths of innocent people as a prop really elevates political discourse.

Did that actually get published in a newspaper? Holy poo poo.

e: nm i am dumb it is a website. but still. holy poo poo

The X-man cometh
Nov 1, 2009

Joementum posted:

By the way, during the recent budget votes in the Senate, an amendment that would extend Social Security and veterans benefits to same-sex couples passed with 11 Republicans signing on.

None of the Republican Senators running for President (Paul, Rubio, Cruz, Graham) voted for it.

In addition to Graham, were McConnell and Kirk part of that 11? :gay:

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

this is me posting irl

Joementum posted:

Full list of dogless Presidents: McKinley, Arthur, A. Johnson, Fillmore, Taylor, Polk, W. H. Harrison, Van Buren, Jackson, J. Q. Adams*, Madison, Jefferson.


* Kept an alligator in the White House as a pet, so I'm giving him a pass.

Didn't Clinton not have a dog until his second term? I thought it was just Socks for a while.

Leon Trotsky 2012
Aug 27, 2009

YOU CAN TRUST ME!*


*Israeli Government-affiliated poster

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

Didn't Clinton not have a dog until his second term? I thought it was just Socks for a while.

He got a lab named Buddy later.

If only Socks had reached his prime during the age of cat memes on the internet. There are no presidential cats in sight for the near future.

William Bear
Oct 26, 2012

"That's what they all say!"

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

What 2012 presidential said this



Michelle Bachmaan

Wow, I thought this was an April Fool's joke. But it's real. Here's her verified Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/teambachmann/posts/10152764328972361

Joementum
May 23, 2004

jesus christ

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

Didn't Clinton not have a dog until his second term? I thought it was just Socks for a while.

Yes, it was just Socks for the first term. You could write to Socks with a SASE and get a "signed" glossy photo back, which I did.

But that program was not liked by Congressman Dan Burton (R-IN).

quote:

"As a member of the new Committee on Government Reform and Oversight, I would like to inquire what the standard practice is for the White House to respond to mail directed to `Socks,' your cat," he wrote. "How many of these inquiries were responded to over the past two years? Who pays for the postage? If it comes out of the White House mail budget, why are the taxpayers being made to pay for your feline's fan club."

Burton sat cordially in his foyer wearing a gray suit and necktie adorned with golf bags with the logos of a well-known tabasco sauce ("got it at a golf outing in Cincinnati"). He conceded that the cost to taxpayers for Socks' mail probably is insignificant, only "in the tens of thousands" of dollars.

But his point, he said, is a larger one, involving alleged Clinton hypocrisy on budget cuts. "This is just one example of what can be done," he said.

Burton would later become infamous when he shot watermellons in his back yard in an attempt to prove that the Clintons had Vince Foster murdered.

Foo
May 16, 2003
Professional Sponge
Joementum: A picture of your glossy pic of Socks or it didn't happen.

root beer
Nov 13, 2005

^^^same

Joementum posted:

Yes, it was just Socks for the first term. You could write to Socks with a SASE and get a "signed" glossy photo back, which I did.

But that program was not liked by Congressman Dan Burton (R-IN).


Burton would later become infamous when he shot watermellons in his back yard in an attempt to prove that the Clintons had Vince Foster murdered.

Wow, dude sounds like the miserly villain who always tries to cancel Christmas.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

Titus Sardonicus posted:

Wow, dude sounds like the miserly villain who always tries to cancel Christmas.

Oliver Cromwell?

Gyges
Aug 4, 2004

NOW NO ONE
RECOGNIZE HULK

Raskolnikov38 posted:

Oliver Cromwell?

I don't think Cromwell was that big an rear end. Not even the Grinch would complain about a kitty cat photo that was undoubtedly mostly for kids.

Besides, if he honestly thinks they offed Foster for whatever reason, why isn't he afraid of the consequences of loving with their cat?

Fried Chicken
Jan 9, 2011

Don't fry me, I'm no chicken!

Titus Sardonicus posted:

^^^same


Wow, dude sounds like the miserly villain who always tries to cancel Christmas.

Oh, you aren't familiar with Dan Burton? Let me play the highlight reel for you

quote:

Tainted funds from Pakistan[edit]
In July 2011, Burton was revealed by an FBI investigation to have received tainted election funds ultimately traced to the military intelligence services of Pakistan, apparently as a quid pro quo for "supporting to Pakistan's position on Kashmir".[30] These funds were routed via the so-called Kashmiri American Council, run by Syed Ghulam Nabi Fai, later revealed to be a front for the Pakistani Military. Subsequently, Burton's office donated the funds to charity.[31]

Vincent Foster[edit]
Burton said, in 1998 of Bill Clinton, "If I could prove 10 percent of what I believe happened [regarding the death of Vincent Foster], he'd be gone. This guy's a scumbag. That's why I'm after him."[2] Burton led the House inquiry into the death of Vincent Foster, whom he believed was murdered and urged extensive investigation into the possible involvement of the Clintons. Burton gained attention for re-enacting the alleged crime in his backyard with his own pistol and a watermelon[32] standing in for Foster's head. After hearings into Democratic fundraising (see section below) began, a Democratic National Committee staffer appeared in a pumpkin suit with a button that read, "Don't shoot."[33] Burton's information during the Whitewater controversy was based on opposition research conducted by Floyd Brown, who founded Citizens United in 1988. Due to problems with the quality of Brown's research and testimony, the investigation was closed.[34]

Golfing[edit]
In 1990, The New York Times reported that in 1989, Burton had been a "celebrity player" at the Bob Hope Classic in Palm Springs, Calif., the Kemper Open in Potomac, Md., the Larry Bird Golf Classic in Indianapolis, the Danny Thompson Memorial Tournament in Sun Valley, Idaho, the Sugarloaf Invitational tournament in Maine and the Arte Johnson Tournament in Chicago. Such players received free airline flights, free meals, and free lodging from tournament sponsors and, often, free merchandise.[35]

In November 1995, the House voted to prohibit members and their staffs from receiving gifts, including free meals and free travel to charity sports events. Burton, who led the effort to exempt charity trips, said that he played in two golf tournaments each year, and, "We get more of these lobbyists in our office than we do on the golf course."[36]

In January 1997, Burton played in the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, at the invitation of AT&T Corporation, the tournament sponsor. The day before the tournament, he played a practice round with Robert E. Allen, AT&T's chairman and chief executive, at a nearby country club. AT&T also hosted a campaign fund-raising dinner for Burton at a local restaurant. Three weeks earlier, Burton had become the chairman of the House Committee on Government Reform and Oversight, which had jurisdiction over the legislative agency scheduled to soon award at least $5 billion in long-distance and local telephone and telecommunications contracts with the federal government. Burton defended his participation in the tournament, saying it would not affect his objectivity when dealing with telecommunications issues. He said that he had partially paid for the trip, with his re-election campaign funds paying as well because he attended three fund-raising events while in California.[37]

In December 2004, Burton and two aides flew to the island of Guam. The trip was paid for by the Guam government and tourism industry. In addition to some official events, including touring a military facility, Burton played in a charity golf tournament. After he returned, he tried to help Guam's tourism industry get a sought-after change in visa rules.[38]

In January 2007, the House passed a measure by a vote 430-1 that banned members from accepting gifts and free trips from lobbyists and discounted trips on private planes. Burton cast the sole nay vote.[39]

In February 2007, a review by the Indianapolis Star of votes in the House of Representatives for the past decade showed that Burton had missed all votes during the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic golf tournament for five years between 2001 and 2007. The tournament, the third event each season on the PGA Tour, pairs celebrities with golf professionals for four of the five days of play. Since 2004, Burton has played in a guest spot of the Eisenhower Medical Center, the primary charitable beneficiary of the event. The slot carries with it a commitment to donate $10,000 to the event; Burton has made arrangements with the hospital to do this over a period of time. Burton's campaign committee reported donating $1,500 to the medical center in December 2004 and $6,353 in January 2006.[38]

The Indianapolis Star review also found that in 2006, Burton ranked last in voting among members of Congress from Indiana, missing 11 percent of the 541 recorded votes.[38] In 2007, the Indianapolis Star rated his voting record as "one of the strongest in the House, with an attendance record consistently above 95%."[40]

"... off the coast of Bolivia"[edit]
On March 29, 1995, during congressional hearings on the US War on Drugs, Burton proclaimed that the US military "should place an aircraft carrier off the coast of Bolivia and crop dust the coca fields." It was later pointed out to him that a) Bolivia is landlocked and has no coast (Burton was chairman of the Western Hemisphere Subcommittee); b) the Bolivian coca fields (in the yungas and Amazon lowlands) are beyond the reach of any carrier-borne crop-duster, being separated from the nearest coastline (the Pacific coast of Peru and Chile) by the 20,000+ feet high peaks of the Andes; and c) F-18s cannot crop-dust. While criticism of this mis-statement was muted in Washington, it sparked a major anti-American backlash in Bolivia, derailing the same War on Drugs that Burton purported to be speaking for.[41][42]

Investigation of Democratic Party fund-raising[edit]
Main article: 1996 United States campaign finance controversy
In 1997, Burton headed an investigation into possible Democratic Party campaign finance abuse, focusing on the 1996 presidential election. The committee investigation ran for several years and issued over 1,000 subpoenas of Clinton administration officials and cost over $7 million.[43] The committee, and Burton's leadership, were labeled a "farce",[44] a "travesty",[45] a "parody",[45] and "its own cartoon, a joke, and a deserved embarrassment".[46]

In March 1997, as the investigation began, Burton was accused of demanding a $5,000 contribution from a Pakistani lobbyist. The lobbyist said that when he was unable to raise the funds, Burton complained to the Pakistani ambassador and threatened to make sure "none of his friends or colleagues" would meet with the lobbyist or his associates.[22]

In May 1998, Burton apologized for releasing edited transcripts of prison audiotapes of Webster Hubbell, a former associate of President Bill Clinton. The edited transcripts omitted substantial information and differed significantly from the original recordings. Burton was harshly criticized by members of his own party, including Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, who called the investigation a "circus" and chided Burton for initially refusing to admit any error.[47]

David Bossie, the staff member who arranged the editing and release of the tapes, resigned on Burton's request. Noting that Burton had personally released the tapes and had supported Bossie's plans over the objections of other committee staffers and attorneys, Democrats urged Burton to step down as well. Minority Leader Richard A. Gephardt said, "A committee staff member should not be made the scapegoat for Chairman Burton's mistakes, missteps, and misdeeds."[47] Burton said, "I take responsibility for those mistakes," but never resigned nor faced any consequences for his actions.[47]

In President Clinton's final year in office, Burton was mentioned in a short film for the White House Correspondent's Dinner. President Clinton: Final Days, which depicted Clinton as a lonely man closing down a nearly-deserted White House. Clinton is shown hitting golf balls from the South Lawn, and gets excited when he hits a car parked in a spot near the U.S. Capitol that says "Reserved for Chairman Burton."

Autism[edit]
Main article: Thiomersal controversy
Burton has been an outspoken critic of what he terms the failure of government to determine the cause of an alleged autism epidemic. When his grandson began to show the signs of autism shortly after receiving inoculations, Burton inferred the relationship to be causal: "My only grandson became autistic right before my eyes – shortly after receiving his federally recommended and state-mandated vaccines."[48]

Burton was instrumental in pressuring the National Institutes of Health to launch a five-year, $30 million study of chelation therapy for cardiovascular disease."[49]

In an October 25, 2000, letter to the Department of Health and Human Services, acting in his role as chairman of the House Committee on Government Reform, Burton asked the agency's director to get the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to recall all vaccines containing the preservative Thimerosal. "We all know and accept that mercury is a neurotoxin, and yet the FDA has failed to recall the 50 vaccines that contain Thimerosal," Burton wrote, adding "Every day that mercury-containing vaccines remain on the market is another day HHS is putting 8,000 children at risk."[50]

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention did not agree that vaccines containing mercury caused autism, and the US FDA refused to ban the vaccines. Most manufacturers removed the preservatives from their vaccines anyway, with no resulting decrease in autism rates.[51]

Burton continues to maintain a page on his Congressional website called House.gov "Autism" which includes his speeches, transcripts from hearings, and newspaper articles on the relationship of autism and vaccines.

Constituent mailings[edit]
An Arizona newspaper study ranked Burton as the fifth-biggest user of free congressional mail, sending constituents more than $190,000 worth of mail in 2007.[52]

Daughter[edit]
In June 2007, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington reported that during the 2001–2006 period, Burton's campaign fund had paid $143,900 to his daughter Danielle Sarkine, who manages his campaign office. It is not illegal for federal candidates to pay family members for political work, as long as they are paid fair market value, the Federal Election Commission has ruled.[53]

Sibel Edmonds allegations[edit]
On January 6, 2008, FBI whistleblower Sibel Edmonds included Dan Burton's photograph among others featured in the "State Secrets Privilege Gallery" posted on her website, composing images of figures considered to be relevant to her case.[54] Later, on August 8, 2009, she gave sworn testimony about Burton and others during a witness deposition before the Ohio Elections Commission in the Schmidt v. Krikorian case, in which she alleged that he had engaged in "[E]xtremely illegal activities against the United States citizens ... and against the United States' interests" that involved covert operations by foreign governments and entities, but did not further elaborate on these activities, ostensibly due to the limitations applied by the State Secrets Privilege.[55][56]

That's his "Controversies" list. His "stupid poo poo that fell out of his mouth" list is much much longer

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Joementum posted:

Yes, it was just Socks for the first term. You could write to Socks with a SASE and get a "signed" glossy photo back, which I did.

But that program was not liked by Congressman Dan Burton (R-IN).


Burton would later become infamous when he shot watermellons in his back yard in an attempt to prove that the Clintons had Vince Foster murdered.

Jesus, he also stopped using the congressional gym after Barney Frank came out. And he's only been out of Congress for two years.

root beer
Nov 13, 2005

J. F. Christ, this guy is The Whole Package. Dan Burton for President 2016 :stare: :911:

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Rodatose
Jul 8, 2008

corn, corn, corn

computer parts posted:

The real problem with Biden is that he's super old and has lost several times in a row (actually the real real problem is that a more viable candidate already exists).

People rag on him for being a drug warrior but most of that was just him sponsoring some stuff in the 80s that most of Congress also sponsored.

The biggest problem with Joe Biden is that he was an essential pusher of BAPCPA and gathered support for it in the Democratic party. BAPCPA is the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act, which made it much more difficult for poorfolks to discharge debts in bankruptcy, including mortgage and credit card debts. Another thing included in this is that it no longer allowed debtors to discharge their private student loans.

He spend about a decade trying to get it passed; Bill Clinton vetoed it in the 90s but it got passed in 2005. Even since helping to get it passed, he's still defended it instead of distancing himself from it, even after Obama vaguely referred to a need to fix bankruptcy laws in 2008.

Also, trying to lead a fight against that bill from being passed is how Elizabeth Warren stumbled into politics after decades of being a teacher. Her book made it really sound like she doesn't really want to do any politicking - even running for senate was something she was iffy about and did with great reservation. and she does not come off as charismatic in the least to be a viable national candidate

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