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CitizenKain posted:This works too: Text: I'll miss the whole corral of you Yoshis.
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Apr 7, 2015 03:45
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kaishek posted:Sadly, they do not use "Zulu". Aw. quote:They do use the phrase "battle rhythm" with a straight face. We just had a 6 hour meeting about it, in fact. I just... what? In what context? To what situation that occurs in the business world are they applying this term?
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Apr 7, 2015 05:25
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Battle rhythm method
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Apr 7, 2015 12:44
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Che Delilas posted:Aw. I guess it could apply to software development: sit on your rear end for 99% of the development cycle and then spend the last 1% running around in sheer terror and panic.
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Apr 7, 2015 13:27
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Great start to the day: Late for all my meetings because some fucker decided to slash all four of my tires overnight. Happy day.
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Apr 7, 2015 14:28
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Sundae posted:Great start to the day: Late for all my meetings because some fucker decided to slash all four of my tires overnight. Happy day. The universe is trying to keep you away.
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Apr 7, 2015 14:32
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Sundae posted:Great start to the day: Late for all my meetings because some fucker decided to slash all four of my tires overnight. Happy day. Wow, J&J is really committed to making GBS threads on their employees. 
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Apr 7, 2015 14:34
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The Devil slashed your tires because he thinks you need a break.
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Apr 7, 2015 14:34
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Che Delilas posted:I just... what? In what context? To what situation that occurs in the business world are they applying this term? A real email from my boss, subject line: "Afternoon battle rhythm" my insane boss posted:More to follow on today’s OPD. For missions this afternoon, I am tracking the following: I get emails like this literally every day, tracking their available time down to the minute for "ALCON"
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Apr 7, 2015 14:54
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Sundae posted:Great start to the day: Late for all my meetings because some fucker decided to slash all four of my tires overnight. Happy day. Don't do it, Sundae. Are you sure it wasn't you during your sleep?
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Apr 7, 2015 15:34
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kaishek posted:A real email from my boss, subject line: "Afternoon battle rhythm" Do you work in government? My favorite was the civilians who'd never sniffed a uniform sending poo poo like this to our colonels office and then him having a battle rhythm orgasm all over the office.
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Apr 7, 2015 15:52
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Sundae posted:Great start to the day: Late for all my meetings because some fucker decided to slash all four of my tires overnight. Happy day. Least they did all four so insurance will cover it.
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Apr 7, 2015 15:55
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Arkanomen posted:Least they did all four so insurance will cover it. Nah, I have a $1000 deductible and it's a 1995 boatmobile with a failing transmission. We're donating the damned thing and calling it a day. One car is plenty for us.  All four basically look the same. Sundae fucked around with this message at 16:37 on Apr 7, 2015 |
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Apr 7, 2015 16:34
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I came in this morning and saw 120 posts and thought Sundae had gotten laid off finally.
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Apr 7, 2015 17:37
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So I have a company meeting today that for the first time management is doing as a internet broadcast to every site. My theory is they don't want the plebs to be able to stone or lunch them. My bosses theory is they don't want to field hard questions like when are we getting raises so we stop loosing talent.
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Apr 7, 2015 17:40
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quote:I came in this morning and saw 120 posts and thought Sundae had gotten laid off finally. No, that'd be a good start to the morning. 
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Apr 7, 2015 17:41
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Every Tuesday my company has a standing meeting where we "share our goals for the week" (never mind that this happens on a Tuesday, instead of a Monday). We also have a standing meeting every Friday at 4:00pm that is supposed to last 4 minutes but usually lasts 40, so that we can do "core value shout-outs" and review these whiteboard goals, which directly impacts many people's ability to accomplish the other work they're supposed to be doing. This week, we also have a 2-hour company meeting, wherein we're sure to share our stellar(ly bad) internal NPS. Every department head usually just says something random and it's put on a whiteboard on Tuesday and briefly mumbled about on Friday. So my manager has decided to crowdsource this process, instead of defining these goals himself: quote:Team, each week please add something notable for the meeting that we plan to show reportable progress on by the Friday meeting. Please include your initials and share any suggestions for changing this format. This isn't the first instance of this, either. Almost all of the emails coming from him contain some variation on this "please give me suggestions" theme. We're also asked to "come up with our own rocks" and "think about ways we can Scale It". My annual review (worked here 7 years) is also 3 months overdue. This department head is also the brother of the (former) CEO, now "President of the Division". 
ex post facho fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Apr 7, 2015 |
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Apr 7, 2015 17:51
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No Butt Stuff posted:Do you work in government? My favorite was the civilians who'd never sniffed a uniform sending poo poo like this to our colonels office and then him having a battle rhythm orgasm all over the office.
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Apr 7, 2015 17:58
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a shameful boehner posted:We're also asked to "come up with our own rocks" and "think about ways we can Scale It". Chromespar? Flintite?
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Apr 7, 2015 18:02
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necrobobsledder posted:What other kind of place would even use the term ALCON besides DoD / government? An extremely insane non-profit.
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Apr 7, 2015 18:16
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necrobobsledder posted:What other kind of place would even use the term ALCON besides DoD / government? I saw it at the company I just left that did no dod work.
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Apr 7, 2015 18:31
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necrobobsledder posted:What other kind of place would even use the term ALCON besides DoD / government? A place run by crazy people. But then again given our military makeup people that leave drop all pretensions of still being in the military in Canada.
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Apr 7, 2015 18:40
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On Friday afternoon, my boss sent out an "all hands on deck" email stating that we had increased sales goals for April and May and everyone needed to add extra hours to their schedule and in particular, they needed people to work over the weekend. My dept. is mostly part-timers and even some full-timers (like me) have Friday off because we work hours over the weekend. I didn't see the email at all until I signed on to work on Sat. morning. Two hours after she sent the first email, she sent a huffy followup that since only two people had responded to her email, she was assigning us all extra hours on Tuesday, when had a big promotion running. As if it was somehow our fault that we aren't checking our work email obsessively and responding to it immediately when we're not actually working. They're also doing this annoying new thing where they want to call attention to "creativity in action." We have this one feature that allows people to bookmark items on the site but for some reason doesn't confirm that they've bookmarked it. So we always get people writing in asking if it went through or not and myself and multiple other people have asked the dev department if we could get a confirmation pop-up or email and the suggestion has always been ignored. Then one of our promotions director noticed this same issue (a year after the process is implemented) and is like "hey why don't we add a confirmation for this?" And the goddamn CEO of the company sends out this suggestion as an amazing example of "Creativity in Action!" and a brilliant and original idea that is going to do so much to improve our customer service. gently caress me. He's probably going to get a bump in his raise because of his amazing and creative ideas, too.
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Apr 7, 2015 19:44
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kaishek posted:A real email from my boss, subject line: "Afternoon battle rhythm" Oh, a status report. From a crazy person. I guess I shouldn't have latched onto that term as something to apply logic to, not after reading that she wanted to maintain "convoy integrity" or whatever it was.
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Apr 7, 2015 20:02
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I absolutely do not get the idea that, unless you're in a 24/7 service industry, that anyone would need to check their emails after hours. I am in a 24/7 business and when the weekend/holidays come, I tell my guys and gals to turn off their work cellular phones unless they are on call (we rotate weekends) and put on their out of office replies on their email. The operations manager and I act as the back up when and where necessary. During the week, the only thing I ask is that they flip through emails quickly on their phones at some point before they go to bed. And for the crew on call over the weekend, even if we don't have anything going on, I tell them to submit 4 hrs O/T per day for when they check email. When you're off work, you're off work.
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Apr 7, 2015 20:09
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a shameful boehner posted:
What the hell does "come up with our own rocks" even mean?
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Apr 7, 2015 20:10
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Tide posted:I absolutely do not get the idea that, unless you're in a 24/7 service industry, that anyone would need to check their emails after hours. I am in a 24/7 business and when the weekend/holidays come, I tell my guys and gals to turn off their work cellular phones unless they are on call (we rotate weekends) and put on their out of office replies on their email. The operations manager and I act as the back up when and where necessary. During the week, the only thing I ask is that they flip through emails quickly on their phones at some point before they go to bed. And for the crew on call over the weekend, even if we don't have anything going on, I tell them to submit 4 hrs O/T per day for when they check email. poo poo, I work in a 24/7 environment and even we don't expect anyone to watch your e-mail the entire time. If it's important, we'll call your cell phone. If it's not important, it can wait until you get back. e: important being "Is it customer affecting?" Renegret fucked around with this message at 20:23 on Apr 7, 2015 |
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Apr 7, 2015 20:16
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Bugsy posted:What the hell does "come up with our own rocks" even mean? 
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Apr 7, 2015 20:17
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CitizenKain posted:This works too: Thank you for this. Also: Just turned in my two weeks last Friday after a particularly terrible Monday that I took ungodly amounts of poo poo for on Tuesday. Apparently it was unreasonable for me to leave at 8:30pm when there was work to be done. The correct course of action was to stay until ten and then STILL come in at 6:30AM the next day. Yeah no thanks. $12/hour isn't worth that kind of aggravation even with double time.
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Apr 7, 2015 20:21
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Bugsy posted:What the hell does "come up with our own rocks" even mean? I see you haven't been introduced to the book "Traction" yet and "Rocks" by EOS Worldwide. It lays out that companies (and of course, by extension, their employees) should define their "big goals" (rocks) and then all the normal day-to-day tasks fill in around them. These should all be "SMART" (S.pecific, M.easurable, A.ttainable, R.elevant and T.imebound), which are then supposed to be reviewed by one's manager/department head and agreed upon. Its essentially a way of a company piling on additional tasks to an employee's day-to-day work that are, supposedly, much easier to hold them accountable for. It's not mentioned what happens when your manager fails to either approve or review your rocks for the last three quarters, however.
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Apr 7, 2015 20:27
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Tide posted:I absolutely do not get the idea that, unless you're in a 24/7 service industry, that anyone would need to check their emails after hours. I am in a 24/7 business and when the weekend/holidays come, I tell my guys and gals to turn off their work cellular phones unless they are on call (we rotate weekends) and put on their out of office replies on their email. The operations manager and I act as the back up when and where necessary. During the week, the only thing I ask is that they flip through emails quickly on their phones at some point before they go to bed. And for the crew on call over the weekend, even if we don't have anything going on, I tell them to submit 4 hrs O/T per day for when they check email. HIlariously, our HR manager sent an email at 9:30 PM last night for all employees to bring their "hiking gear" for a hike that would take place following the company's quarterly meeting between the hours of 5 and 7 PM. I came into work this morning wearing new loafers that are giving me a blister on my heel. Our office admin also told me "there's no way in gently caress that I'm going".
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Apr 7, 2015 20:30
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a shameful boehner posted:I see you haven't been introduced to the book "Traction" yet and "Rocks" by EOS Worldwide. Whoever came up with that should be hit in the head with a rock, repeatedly. 
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Apr 7, 2015 20:32
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a shameful boehner posted:
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Apr 7, 2015 20:34
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Lowly posted:
Why would you need to bookmark something right on your site, is it 1994?
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Apr 7, 2015 20:41
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Renegret posted:poo poo, I work in a 24/7 environment and even we don't expect anyone to watch your e-mail the entire time. If it's important, we'll call your cell phone. If it's not important, it can wait until you get back. The problem some have is that everything is important; that they are the special snowflake. Our overseas staff thinks everything for our 'very valued customer' must be answered right now and I have slowly trained them over the years that it isn't and that my office will get to it as expeditiously as possible the following business day.
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Apr 7, 2015 20:49
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Quarterly meeting update: scheduled to start at 1:00 PM PST, now 2:37 PST, meeting has not started. Employees wandering aimlessly around office, bathrooms, supply closets, etc.
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Apr 7, 2015 22:37
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Spent an hour loving around with VBA and google, automated a daily fifteen minutes process. Have resolved to learn VBA. I'm becoming that guy.
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Apr 8, 2015 02:49
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FrozenVent posted:Spent an hour loving around with VBA and google, automated a daily fifteen minutes process. Never let them find out. That way you have lots more loving around time. I made the mistake of automating a lot of poo poo and then showing off my innovations to my boss. Never again in a job where my role doesn't officially include automation. Now my job includes automation by definition but at least my current boss doesn't think it's amazing wizard magic (and then demand the impossible) since he is better at automation scripts than I am.
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Apr 8, 2015 03:14
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Going back to the talk of companies asking people to do health exams for money, I just got a letter in the mail from Anthem asking me to see some random person so that they can help my doctor fix my poo poo. Previously, I was adamantly opposed to this process. Now, I'm kind of curious what would happen if I went in to talk about my high cholesterol and tell them that the only reason it is high is because they don't cover the only medication that is both effective and doesn't cause me to fire fluids out of my holes. On the other hand, I see 3 or 4 different doctors a total of perhaps 24 times a year to manage a couple of chronic conditions and the usual life poo poo, what could this person possibly tell me?
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Apr 8, 2015 03:50
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Our HR had a health push not to long ago for everyone to join teams and have a contest to lose 20% of our body weight in something like a month. I don't think they realized that could be dangerous and a good many couldn't drop that much weight without looking like a skeleton. Yeah, that changed about 39 minutes after the email and out to everyone in North and South America
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Apr 8, 2015 04:30
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