cool kids inc. posted:

Not Always Romantic is always a fun place to go to for STDH.

sweeperbravo posted:

This is the worst thing I've seen in the thread in a long time

quote:

I've been dating quite a bit from POF since my divorce. I've had great experiences so far and have never been in a situation in which I felt unsafe. Until this weekend. I was on a first date as a very classy restaurant. The guy knew the staff, we were treated amazingly. The GM even comped our wine and poured it himself. The date was to continue at a comedy joint next door so we walked to the next venue. I left the restaurant feeling loose but good. My date insisted that we stop at his car where he produced individual shots of fireball and offered me a cigarette. It seemed a little strange that he would have travel sized liquor but I went with it because he had been the ultimate gentleman. A few moments later we're sitting in the club and I'm smiling at the opening act when it hits me. I am not okay. I immediately stumble, bumping into people and walls, to the bathroom. I get immediately sick and unable to stand or keep my eyes open. The next thing I knew two waitresses were taking off my shoes and tying my hair back. They kept saying that they weren't going to let me go home with "that guy" and that something wasn't right. They took me to a car, confiscated my phone and ascertained my address, plopped a bucket in my lap and drove me home 30 minutes away. This woman, this complete stranger, managed to get into my keycoded building, carry me up the stairs, get into my apartment, and deposit me in the bathroom with a glass of water. I woke up in a pool of vomit six hours later with no recollection of what happened. She sent herself a text from my phone so I'd be able to contact her - saying that if I ever needed anything to get in touch. I don't know this woman or her friend. I don't know what she saw that was off. I don't know why she was so incredibly kind to me. But I know that this stranger is my new BFF and likely saved me from certain roofie nightmares with my date. So I guess I want to say thanks to any woman that stands up and helps another woman with no questions asked and no judgment issued. I had no idea that girls like this existed. A testament to the awesomeness of our gender. I am definitely going to pay it forward one day.

Snatch Duster posted:

Fathis Munk posted:

BUT IT'S SO RANDOM *giggles* ^_^ I HAVE TO PUT IT ON THE INTERNET AND SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE and...

poo poo man, I never get why they have to put the "And this is so going up on the internet" thing in there. It serves no purpose, obv you did that you idiots.

Wizard of Smart posted:

This is what is commonly referred to as a "joke." I know it's hard to tell, because most people on these forums have never seen one.

Snatch Duster posted:

Wat jokes are usually funny.

Stroop There It Is posted:

You must not have had a dad in your life.

winegums posted:

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Post Your Favorite (or Request) > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: You’re lucky you have a nice rack

quote:

you've never met a psycho radfemme have you? I was in a relationship with a girl so convinced of the evils of men that she'd self harm and then insinuate to her family and friends that I had injured her just to keep me in my place, as an abusive man. I've been the victim of numerous false rape allegations. I studied once. was learning to be a primary school teacher. my supervising teacher hit on me but i wasnt interested. she didnt say anything at the time. but two months later the university called me in for a disciplinary hearing to tell me that they'd been investigating me for sexually abusing a child on my prac. this was her revenge. cry rape to punish the evil men. In her eyes, such a life ruining move was justified.

Noyemi K posted:

There's more of his delusional crap but it's beyond the scope of this thread, as it is mostly insane conspiracy ramblings and the usual SHALLOW BITCHES WONT DATE ME poo poo.

Noyemi K posted:

There's more of his delusional crap but it's beyond the scope of this thread, as it is mostly insane conspiracy ramblings and the usual SHALLOW BITCHES WONT DATE ME poo poo.

EZipperelli posted:

quote:

morals are old world values. today all that matters is adaptability. there is no community to apply moral thought to. we are all mercenaries now.

quote:

when I say whores, i mean exactly that. no interest in a person as a partner, just someone to leech off. which is why status is such a huge thing for the majority of people. they want a rich, roided up human being. instead of companionship being a primary goal of a relationship, it's bragging rights essentially as some form of personal validation.

I'm fit but not obsessed with maintaining a 4% body fat ratio.
I could afford a skyline and hook up with stupid whores, spending all my money on peacocking. but the kinds of whores that attracts are disgusting in the brains department.

Noyemi K posted:

The guy styles himself as some kind of underappreciated great intellect and says he can tell you more about the history of philosophy and psychology than someone with a bachelors', and then proceeded (in later posts) to demonstrate no understanding of what life was like before his time. But anyway:

Someone helpfully pointed out that the definition of "morals" changes with the wind and the "good old days" idiots talk about are STDH. Way to know your history of philosophy and psychology better than someone with(out) a bachelor's!
"I'm not bitter and have an unhealthy view of women at all, they're just whores!" STDH bolded of course. Probably "fit" in the sense that the cheeto dust "fits" neatly into his neckbeard.

Noyemi K posted:

Some fedoraSTDH to go with your... well whatever you call that.

quote:

I've been the victim of numerous false rape allegations

quote:

I could afford a skyline and hook up with stupid whores, spending all my money on peacocking. but the kinds of whores that attracts are disgusting in the brains department.

walrusman posted:

Truly only the dumbest fe-males appreciates financial stability and physical attractiveness.

quote:

Best Customer, No Question
Retail | MA, USA | Awesome Workers, Employees, Geography

Associate: “Hi, any questions?”

Me: “No, just browsing.”

Associate: “Really? No questions? What’s my favorite color? What’s the capital of Iceland?”

Me: “Reykjavik.”

Associate: *high-fives me* “You are the first person to get that! You’re my favorite customer!”

(Gotta say, I left the store feeling pretty good after that.)
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walrusman posted:

Truly only the dumbest fe-males appreciates financial stability and physical attractiveness.

Bogmonster posted:

So I knew I would be very shamed, humiliated, depressed, and disgusted if I admitted to making a bad joke, so what I did was to act as if it was not a joke but I committed to the act of pretending I didn't know what a potato is.

Bogmonster posted:

I was very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation. But I knew it must be done.

I met them nicely, I should tell you, and it started off in a good way. The idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit, to make a good impression and become known to them as a person who is amusing.

Bogmonster posted:

So first when the potato became on my plate, I acted very interesting. I showed an expression on my face so as to seem that I was confused, astounded but in a restrained way, curious, and interested. They did notice, and seemed confused, but did not remark. So I asked "This looks very interesting. What is this?"

Noyemi K posted:

On the more mundane side of things (the really more mundane side of things), it's surprising how boring the poo poo people make up to look cooler has become. Whatever happened to "I killed a loving dragon at work today!" after stepping on a newt?

Bogmonster posted:

Potato.

WebDog posted:

It makes some sense if you imagine it's from Russia.

Paladinus posted:

I was thinking Ireland. Or Belarus. Or Lithuania. In all three not knowing what a potato is is a criminal offence.

Double Plus Good posted:

tumblr

Obsolete posted:

Not sure this is the right place, but a friend recommended me the book Ready Player One. Hoooo boy. It could probably better be called "Tales of a Reddit Manchild: The Book."

It has it all, our savvy hero tearing apart not one, but two high school bullies with verbal takedowns (and everyone cheers afterwards), militant atheism, self-diagnosed Asbergers, friendzones, super hacker skills, magical virtual currency, weird obsession with 80s nerd culture, all wrapped in a "video games are the only thing that understands me" narrative.

Can't say I'd recommend it, but it feels like the id of this entire thread. It's a decent hate-read.

Bogmonster posted:

Got linked this earlier. No loving way this happened.

"Let me tell you that I have made a bad mistake this evening.

My girlfriend (who let me tell you is only my 2nd girlfriend of all time) said I am "invited to dinner" with her and her parents. I was very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation. But I knew it must be done.

I met them nicely, I should tell you, and it started off in a good way. The idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit, to make a good impression and become known to them as a person who is amusing.

When I saw that baked potatoes were served I got the idea that it would be very good if I pretended I did not know what potatoes was. That would be funny.

Well let me tell you: backfired on my face. I'll tell you how.

So first when the potato became on my plate, I acted very interesting. I showed an expression on my face so as to seem that I was confused, astounded but in a restrained way, curious, and interested. They did notice, and seemed confused, but did not remark. So I asked "This looks very interesting. What is this?"

They stared at me and the mother said "It's a baked potato." And I was saying "Oh, interesting, a baked....what is it again?"

And she was like "A potato."

And I was like "A 'potato', oh interesting. Never heard of a potato, looks pretty good."

And then they didn't see I was clowning, but thought I really did not know what is a potato. So I knew I would be very shamed, humiliated, depressed, and disgusted if I admitted to making a bad joke, so what I did was to act as if it was not a joke but I committed to the act of pretending I didn't know what a potato is.

They asked me, VERY incredulous, did I really not know what a potato is? That I never heard of a potato. I went with it and told them, yes, I did not ever even hear of a potato. Not only had I never eaten a potato I had never heard the word potato.

This went on for a bit and my girlfriend was acting very confused and embarrassed by my "hosed up antics", and then the more insistent I was about not knowing what a potato is was when them parents starting thinking I DID know what a potato was.

Well let me tell you I had to commit 100% at this point. When I would not admit to knowing what a potato was, the father especially began to get annoyed. At one point he said something like "Enough is enough. You're loving with us. Admit it." And I said "Sir, before today I never heard of a potato. I still don't know what a potato is, other than some kind of food. I don't know what to tell you."

Well let me tell you he got very annoyed. I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange!"

That is when the father started yelling at me, and the mother kept saying "What are you doing?" and my girlfriend went to some other room.

Finally the father said I should "Get the gently caress out of his house" and I said it was irrational to treat me like this just because I never heard of a potato before. Well let me tell you he didn't take that kindly.

Now in text messages I have been telling my girlfriend I really don't know what a potato is. The only way I can ever get out of this is for them to buy that I don't know what a potato is.

I wish I never started it but I can't go back. I think she will break up with me anyway."

AlbieQuirky posted:

You have to hear the IDontEvenOwnATelevision.com episode reviewing it. You will die laughing.

Obsolete posted:

Not sure this is the right place, but a friend recommended me the book Ready Player One. Hoooo boy. It could probably better be called "Tales of a Reddit Manchild: The Book."

It has it all, our savvy hero tearing apart not one, but two high school bullies with verbal takedowns (and everyone cheers afterwards), militant atheism, self-diagnosed Asbergers, friendzones, super hacker skills, magical virtual currency, weird obsession with 80s nerd culture, all wrapped in a "video games are the only thing that understands me" narrative.

Can't say I'd recommend it, but it feels like the id of this entire thread. It's a decent hate-read.