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cool kids inc. posted:
This is the worst thing I've seen in the thread in a long time
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# ? Apr 13, 2015 20:05 |
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# ? May 28, 2024 07:54 |
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sweeperbravo posted:This is the worst thing I've seen in the thread in a long time BUT IT'S SO RANDOM *giggles* ^_^ I HAVE TO PUT IT ON THE INTERNET AND SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE and... poo poo man, I never get why they have to put the "And this is so going up on the internet" thing in there. It serves no purpose, obv you did that you idiots.
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# ? Apr 13, 2015 21:37 |
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# ? Apr 13, 2015 22:21 |
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quote:I've been dating quite a bit from POF since my divorce. I've had great experiences so far and have never been in a situation in which I felt unsafe. Until this weekend. I was on a first date as a very classy restaurant. The guy knew the staff, we were treated amazingly. The GM even comped our wine and poured it himself. The date was to continue at a comedy joint next door so we walked to the next venue. I left the restaurant feeling loose but good. My date insisted that we stop at his car where he produced individual shots of fireball and offered me a cigarette. It seemed a little strange that he would have travel sized liquor but I went with it because he had been the ultimate gentleman. A few moments later we're sitting in the club and I'm smiling at the opening act when it hits me. I am not okay. I immediately stumble, bumping into people and walls, to the bathroom. I get immediately sick and unable to stand or keep my eyes open. The next thing I knew two waitresses were taking off my shoes and tying my hair back. They kept saying that they weren't going to let me go home with "that guy" and that something wasn't right. They took me to a car, confiscated my phone and ascertained my address, plopped a bucket in my lap and drove me home 30 minutes away. This woman, this complete stranger, managed to get into my keycoded building, carry me up the stairs, get into my apartment, and deposit me in the bathroom with a glass of water. I woke up in a pool of vomit six hours later with no recollection of what happened. She sent herself a text from my phone so I'd be able to contact her - saying that if I ever needed anything to get in touch. I don't know this woman or her friend. I don't know what she saw that was off. I don't know why she was so incredibly kind to me. But I know that this stranger is my new BFF and likely saved me from certain roofie nightmares with my date. So I guess I want to say thanks to any woman that stands up and helps another woman with no questions asked and no judgment issued. I had no idea that girls like this existed. A testament to the awesomeness of our gender. I am definitely going to pay it forward one day. I have an extremely hard time believing this as nothing more than a feel good men are evil story. Why yes if I see someone completely out of it and possibly drugged then my first thoughts are to break into their phone, find an address and hope it's the right one, basically kidnap them out of the bar, drive them home and break in somehow and then just leave them there knowing they're throwing up since I gave them a bucket on the drive home. Instead of, you know, taking her to management and having them deal with it/call the cops or taking her to a hospital. Plus I don't really understand this mysterious person's thought process going from girl is stumbling -> kidnap her home. I mean I understand people get roofied its a serious thing, but wouldn't the person first want to see if she came in with a group of friends? For all she knew the woman could have gone out with friends and been roofied by some random person chatting her up at the bar. Another thing is, I've gone out to bars and such with girlfriends where said girlfriends just got completely hammered and I basically have to hold her up walking her out the door, so you know maybe conclusions shouldn't be jumped to all the time.
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# ? Apr 13, 2015 22:45 |
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This is what is commonly referred to as a "joke." I know it's hard to tell, because most people on these forums have never seen one.
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# ? Apr 13, 2015 23:28 |
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Fathis Munk posted:BUT IT'S SO RANDOM *giggles* ^_^ I HAVE TO PUT IT ON THE INTERNET AND SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE and... They're refernecing the fact that they're putting it on the internet, WHICH WE'RE READING ON THE INTERNET! It's so meta!!!!! ROFLCHOLERA
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 00:11 |
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Wizard of Smart posted:This is what is commonly referred to as a "joke." I know it's hard to tell, because most people on these forums have never seen one.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 00:44 |
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Snatch Duster posted:Wat jokes are usually funny.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 01:01 |
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Stroop There It Is posted:You must not have had a dad in your life. gently caress off. I'm a Dad and my jokes are hilarious.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 01:40 |
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winegums posted:The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Post Your Favorite (or Request) > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: You’re lucky you have a nice rack I am partial to shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: [Dog], chill out!, personally.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 02:05 |
Some fedoraSTDH to go with your... well whatever you call that.quote:you've never met a psycho radfemme have you? I was in a relationship with a girl so convinced of the evils of men that she'd self harm and then insinuate to her family and friends that I had injured her just to keep me in my place, as an abusive man. I've been the victim of numerous false rape allegations. I studied once. was learning to be a primary school teacher. my supervising teacher hit on me but i wasnt interested. she didnt say anything at the time. but two months later the university called me in for a disciplinary hearing to tell me that they'd been investigating me for sexually abusing a child on my prac. this was her revenge. cry rape to punish the evil men. In her eyes, such a life ruining move was justified.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 02:59 |
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he probably actually did gently caress a kid and thats the lie he tells his family.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 03:04 |
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the only thing that pisses off fedoralords more than women existing is their pedophile boards/blogs getting shut down
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 03:18 |
There's more of his delusional crap but it's beyond the scope of this thread, as it is mostly insane conspiracy ramblings and the usual SHALLOW BITCHES WONT DATE ME poo poo.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 03:22 |
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Noyemi K posted:There's more of his delusional crap but it's beyond the scope of this thread, as it is mostly insane conspiracy ramblings and the usual SHALLOW BITCHES WONT DATE ME poo poo.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 07:19 |
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Noyemi K posted:There's more of his delusional crap but it's beyond the scope of this thread, as it is mostly insane conspiracy ramblings and the usual SHALLOW BITCHES WONT DATE ME poo poo. That's the most fun part of the MRA stuff. At once talking about how women are, literally, worthless in every possible regard, but.... but they're still just so lonely, and all the MRA manifestos and pillars don't cut the mustard when you're lying alone in bed at 2am wishing you had someone there, someone there of their own volition and love, to hold you and make you feel like life is worth living
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 12:24 |
The guy styles himself as some kind of underappreciated great intellect and says he can tell you more about the history of philosophy and psychology than someone with a bachelors', and then proceeded (in later posts) to demonstrate no understanding of what life was like before his time. But anyway: quote:morals are old world values. today all that matters is adaptability. there is no community to apply moral thought to. we are all mercenaries now. quote:when I say whores, i mean exactly that. no interest in a person as a partner, just someone to leech off. which is why status is such a huge thing for the majority of people. they want a rich, roided up human being. instead of companionship being a primary goal of a relationship, it's bragging rights essentially as some form of personal validation.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 13:08 |
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Noyemi K posted:The guy styles himself as some kind of underappreciated great intellect and says he can tell you more about the history of philosophy and psychology than someone with a bachelors', and then proceeded (in later posts) to demonstrate no understanding of what life was like before his time. But anyway: These people must be really really mad and bitter at all the thousands upon thousands of fat and/or ugly guys who are in happy relationships, with a social life, good work life etc. Because it seems to fly in the face of everything they believe to accept that men don't have to be super fit and super rich to attract feeeemales, just be, you know, likable human beings.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 14:14 |
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Noyemi K posted:Some fedoraSTDH to go with your... well whatever you call that. quote:I've been the victim of numerous quote:I could afford a skyline and hook up with stupid whores, spending all my money on peacocking. but the kinds of whores that attracts are disgusting in the brains department. Zaphod42 has a new favorite as of 16:27 on Apr 14, 2015 |
# ? Apr 14, 2015 16:25 |
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Truly only the dumbest fe-males appreciates financial stability and physical attractiveness.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 16:34 |
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walrusman posted:Truly only the dumbest fe-males appreciates financial stability and physical attractiveness. Or, meh, sanity.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 17:16 |
On the more mundane side of things (the really more mundane side of things), it's surprising how boring the poo poo people make up to look cooler has become. Whatever happened to "I killed a loving dragon at work today!" after stepping on a newt?quote:Best Customer, No Question
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 17:31 |
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walrusman posted:Truly only the dumbest fe-males appreciates financial stability and physical attractiveness.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 17:37 |
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Got linked this earlier. No loving way this happened. "Let me tell you that I have made a bad mistake this evening. My girlfriend (who let me tell you is only my 2nd girlfriend of all time) said I am "invited to dinner" with her and her parents. I was very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation. But I knew it must be done. I met them nicely, I should tell you, and it started off in a good way. The idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit, to make a good impression and become known to them as a person who is amusing. When I saw that baked potatoes were served I got the idea that it would be very good if I pretended I did not know what potatoes was. That would be funny. Well let me tell you: backfired on my face. I'll tell you how. So first when the potato became on my plate, I acted very interesting. I showed an expression on my face so as to seem that I was confused, astounded but in a restrained way, curious, and interested. They did notice, and seemed confused, but did not remark. So I asked "This looks very interesting. What is this?" They stared at me and the mother said "It's a baked potato." And I was saying "Oh, interesting, a baked....what is it again?" And she was like "A potato." And I was like "A 'potato', oh interesting. Never heard of a potato, looks pretty good." And then they didn't see I was clowning, but thought I really did not know what is a potato. So I knew I would be very shamed, humiliated, depressed, and disgusted if I admitted to making a bad joke, so what I did was to act as if it was not a joke but I committed to the act of pretending I didn't know what a potato is. They asked me, VERY incredulous, did I really not know what a potato is? That I never heard of a potato. I went with it and told them, yes, I did not ever even hear of a potato. Not only had I never eaten a potato I had never heard the word potato. This went on for a bit and my girlfriend was acting very confused and embarrassed by my "hosed up antics", and then the more insistent I was about not knowing what a potato is was when them parents starting thinking I DID know what a potato was. Well let me tell you I had to commit 100% at this point. When I would not admit to knowing what a potato was, the father especially began to get annoyed. At one point he said something like "Enough is enough. You're loving with us. Admit it." And I said "Sir, before today I never heard of a potato. I still don't know what a potato is, other than some kind of food. I don't know what to tell you." Well let me tell you he got very annoyed. I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange!" That is when the father started yelling at me, and the mother kept saying "What are you doing?" and my girlfriend went to some other room. Finally the father said I should "Get the gently caress out of his house" and I said it was irrational to treat me like this just because I never heard of a potato before. Well let me tell you he didn't take that kindly. Now in text messages I have been telling my girlfriend I really don't know what a potato is. The only way I can ever get out of this is for them to buy that I don't know what a potato is. I wish I never started it but I can't go back. I think she will break up with me anyway."
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 22:19 |
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Bogmonster posted:So I knew I would be very shamed, humiliated, depressed, and disgusted if I admitted to making a bad joke, so what I did was to act as if it was not a joke but I committed to the act of pretending I didn't know what a potato is. Oh yeah totally obvious, reasonable conclusion to come to As penance for writing such a bad stid I hope this person cuts themself real bad by accident while preparing a petato someday
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 22:29 |
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Let me tell you, let me tell you, let me tell you. Quality, spam e-mail level writing right there, almost like a rejected plotline to an episode of Fraser.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 22:34 |
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Bogmonster posted:I was very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation. But I knew it must be done. What is with this lovely stilted writing style? All this STDH is in the same awkward as gently caress writing style. Its uncanny! Dude sounds like a really advanced robot trying to pass the Turing test. The Turing test of parents. (Hey I just got a movie idea...) "I met them nicely" ? Who says that? Bogmonster posted:So first when the potato became on my plate, I acted very interesting. I showed an expression on my face so as to seem that I was confused, astounded but in a restrained way, curious, and interested. They did notice, and seemed confused, but did not remark. So I asked "This looks very interesting. What is this?" Yeah I'm not sure if this is a Vulcan or a Robot but its definitely not Human. I've heard Google Translations that were more naturally flowing than that text. Zaphod42 has a new favorite as of 22:37 on Apr 14, 2015 |
# ? Apr 14, 2015 22:34 |
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Noyemi K posted:On the more mundane side of things (the really more mundane side of things), it's surprising how boring the poo poo people make up to look cooler has become. Whatever happened to "I killed a loving dragon at work today!" after stepping on a newt? I cannot loving believe this guy is boasting about knowing the capital of Iceland. Or that 1,005 people actually care.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 22:46 |
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Bogmonster posted:Potato.
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 23:47 |
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tumblr
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# ? Apr 14, 2015 23:50 |
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WebDog posted:It makes some sense if you imagine it's from Russia. I was thinking Ireland. Or Belarus. Or Lithuania. In all three not knowing what a potato is is a criminal offence.
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# ? Apr 15, 2015 00:07 |
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Paladinus posted:I was thinking Ireland. Or Belarus. Or Lithuania. In all three not knowing what a potato is is a criminal offence. Since I've been born I can't remember a day that I didn't have at least one potato based meal. God bless you sweet jewel of the earth
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# ? Apr 15, 2015 00:33 |
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I'd have to agree - I love me some sushi and curry, but I'd have to rank potatoes as even higher than rice as the best staple ever. Hell, I'm sure curried chicken would be delicious over some fried cubed potatoes - I'll give that a shot next time E: Some more STDH imported from another thread - Non-AGDQ twitch streamers being anything other than pathetic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r71l-ajiuHA (skip to around halfway in or so if you're impatient, but the slow buildup adds to the flavor) Sentient Data has a new favorite as of 00:44 on Apr 15, 2015 |
# ? Apr 15, 2015 00:42 |
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Double Plus Good posted:
Am I having a stroke? Between this one and the one about potatoes I feel like I've forgotten how to read.
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# ? Apr 15, 2015 00:46 |
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Not sure this is the right place, but a friend recommended me the book Ready Player One. Hoooo boy. It could probably better be called "Tales of a Reddit Manchild: The Book." It has it all, our savvy hero tearing apart not one, but two high school bullies with verbal takedowns (and everyone cheers afterwards), militant atheism, self-diagnosed Asbergers, friendzones, super hacker skills, magical virtual currency, weird obsession with 80s nerd culture, all wrapped in a "video games are the only thing that understands me" narrative. Can't say I'd recommend it, but it feels like the id of this entire thread. It's a decent hate-read.
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# ? Apr 15, 2015 00:56 |
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Obsolete posted:Not sure this is the right place, but a friend recommended me the book Ready Player One. Hoooo boy. It could probably better be called "Tales of a Reddit Manchild: The Book." You have to hear the IDontEvenOwnATelevision.com episode reviewing it. You will die laughing.
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# ? Apr 15, 2015 01:05 |
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Bogmonster posted:Got linked this earlier. No loving way this happened. This reminds me of that E/N thread where the guy convinced his girlfriend he was Australian and didn't know how to give up the ruse.
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# ? Apr 15, 2015 01:09 |
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AlbieQuirky posted:You have to hear the IDontEvenOwnATelevision.com episode reviewing it. You will die laughing. Sweet. Thanks!
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# ? Apr 15, 2015 01:12 |
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drat it, now I have yet another podcast to catch up on At least they don't seem to have a 3-digit-long back catalog. http://idontevenownatelevision.com/ready-player-one-w-mike-sacco for those that don't want to google
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# ? Apr 15, 2015 01:15 |
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# ? May 28, 2024 07:54 |
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Obsolete posted:Not sure this is the right place, but a friend recommended me the book Ready Player One. Hoooo boy. It could probably better be called "Tales of a Reddit Manchild: The Book." You obviously have to do a let's read. Preferably on par with the Miranda Leek Twisted thread.
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# ? Apr 15, 2015 01:20 |