|
happyhippy posted:
I hope that's Lumpy and it's actually a novelization of the Star Wars Holiday Special.
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2015 13:07
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 4, 2024 01:15 |
|
|
The worst thing will always be that Hutts are actually really good at fighting with lightsabers, because despite what most may think, people who are big boned and heavier than most *conventional* athletic jerks, what ignorant people and dads may call "fat", are actually in really good shape and are very agile and cool.
|
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2015 16:55
|
|
|
fuckingtest posted:Kan'We Besto Mik'i Dashkardier
|
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2015 17:27
|
|
|
Professor Shark posted:The worst thing will always be that Hutts are actually really good at fighting with lightsabers, because despite what most may think, people who are big boned and heavier than most *conventional* athletic jerks, what ignorant people and dads may call "fat", are actually in really good shape and are very agile and cool. there was some comic panel posted of a hutt fighting with a lightsaber like, what's the downside of just slicing off the lower third of their body and letting them bleed out its not even like giving yoda a lightsaber, which is cool if you're really stupid
|
|
#
?
Apr 4, 2015 00:29
|
|
|
Well the lightsaber would cauterise the wound so it wouldn't bleed out. Idiot.
|
|
#
?
Apr 4, 2015 08:48
|
|
|
Something something Hutts have skin resistant to light sabers. And their uncles all work for Nintendo.
|
|
#
?
Apr 4, 2015 12:31
|
|
|
RedLobster posted:Well the lightsaber would cauterise the wound so it wouldn't bleed out. unless its ANH
|
|
#
?
Apr 4, 2015 19:40
|
|
|
Lote posted:Something something Hutts have skin resistant to light sabers. And their uncles all work for Nintendo. Isn't it just hutts that eat that ore that blocks lightsabers? Cortosis I think?
|
|
#
?
Apr 4, 2015 19:44
|
|
|
:iamafag:
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2015 00:27
|
|
|
:iamafag:
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2015 00:44
|
|
|
Wait, is her bush force sensitive?
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2015 00:56
|
|
|
Wait what did I miss
|
|
#
?
Apr 9, 2015 00:04
|
|
|
somebody bought a lot of accounts and went around spamming bad thigns about somebody basically
|
|
#
?
Apr 9, 2015 00:13
|
|
|
drunk asian neighbor posted:Wait what did I miss Sounds like it was a mental illness driven shock image spam? IMO lazy if they didn't photoshop sarlaac goatman
|
|
#
?
Apr 9, 2015 02:03
|
|
|
drunk asian neighbor posted:Wait what did I miss Something Awful Something Sensitive is kinda pissy about Ralp and apparently posted pics of him and his sister because SA is serious business
|
|
#
?
Apr 9, 2015 05:28
|
|
|
I don't even know who Ralp is, is he a mod or something? lol
|
|
#
?
Apr 9, 2015 13:49
|
|
|
Admin
|
|
#
?
Apr 9, 2015 14:06
|
|
|
I dunno why you'd want to be a mod. I went to high school with someone who used to be a mod of pet island and has a lot of birds
|
|
#
?
Apr 9, 2015 14:10
|
|
|
My uncle works for sh/sc
|
|
#
?
Apr 9, 2015 14:50
|
|
|
For awhile there I was finding bad audiobooks on youtube while at work which gave me plenty to make fun of, after that I figured Id only read the comics of the thrawn stuff so I dug up the thrawn triology and the sequels, ghosts of the past/visons of the future. Thrawn trilogy has been mostly covered here as being least lovely of poo poo and still loving dumb sometimes. I found Luuke to be not as bad as I expected since he does nothing but show up to swing a lightsaber for a few minutes while saying nothing at the very end. Something about the way that writer writes tough independant women though is the worst. I have no clue how Mara Jade ever became popular because she has one setting that whole trilogy, catty oval office. No one like a know-it-all, sister. Then since by the time the sequel has come around Mara has had character growth she is reincarnated in the assassin lady who then spends most of two books being a know it all oval office. poo poo that I found dumb/funny about ghosts/visions (which I ended up really liking by the end, that Pealleon is an alright dude, glad he made it.) gently caress your stupid squawking bird species. gently caress the whole Niruwan/Hand of Thrawn arc. The tiny amount of setting up it does for what was to come was not worth all the tedious as gently caress crap that came before and after it. Also it contains the worst poo poo that made me want to run straight to this thread for what the gently caress ishness. Chewbacca, that fun guy from the OT that you know and love, gently caress that, hes babysitting for two books, heres a cunty assassin lady and Lando (who can actually talk i guess) I said it before but galactic president bird is just too camp and funny for me. its never described in the books but I bet that dude is doing random bird poo poo at all times and is a blast to be around when stoned. All the really weird poo poo is the Luke/Mara stuff, I thought Luke's folks had an odd relationship but then all this poo poo happens, So mara is hanging out with the really annoying squaking bird creatures that maybe took her captive and can sense luke hit the system through the force or whatever at which point Mara decides she is stank and heads to a cold creek to get less stank before Luke lands. Like sure, who cares what you smell like when youre chilling in a cave with annoying bird aliens that you cant understand, and knowing another human is showing up may make you aware of the smelly facts but its a loving weird thing to put in a book. Then mara gets shot in the shoulder and luke has to put her in a 5 day healing trance to fix that poo poo, as soon as she goes under Luke is all of a sudden like "hey wait, this chick is kinda pretty, never noticed that before but now that she is all passed out for 5 days and poo poo ill steal me a kiss. its not so much the action but the odd tone shift and ok its also the action, luke youve mentioned a bunch of dead exes but stealing kisses from passed out chicks?, cmon buddy. And why the gently caress didnt any of the guards ever decide, "oh gently caress, lets go look for that bitch that shot at us" in the 5 days, theres a bit about the annoying birds misleading them but annoying birds aint redheads firing blaster bolts at your face. Then at some point in luke and mara's long tedious cave journey #57 luke is like, "hey, i know, lets get married" and maras all "well i guess that makes sense, youre a jedi and im only slightly less of a oval office than I was ten years ago, the only other time we spent together" and a relationship with all the passion of Anakin and Padme, with LESS passion than Anakin and Padme somehow is born. Oh yea, I rember what else what hosed about the marriage proposal. The conversation went something like this "So Mara, you and Lando hung out a lot in the ten years since Ive seen you" "yep" "Sooooo you didnt actually sleep with the one black guy in the known universe did you?" "Naw, we were on this long term mission for Karde looking for a hard to find dude" "Ohhhhhhhh, will you marry me then?" "sure" Mara was tainted goods until he found out the truth. Its a dumb nerd nitpick but the last two books kinds drove me crazy because much of it could have been avoided if one single conversation was had. When notThrawn shows up and hijacks Lando he tells Lando he was on Myrkir lookin for Luke when Han and Lando spotted him ten years before. Lando really should have talked to Karde because Thrawn was there to get magic lizards and dropped by for a quick chat with an associate. Lando wasnt close enough to hear the conversation but never brings up notThrawn's answer when he runs into Karde a short time later. Drove me loving insane. That reminded me, theres a scene in Visons where the baddies put magic lizards on the backside of a wall so they could talk to Mara without getting force choked or whatever, luke finds this and starts moving the lizards attached to their frames to the opposite wall, a guard shows up, fightining happens and then in a rush Luke throws the last few frames across the room lizards and all. What a dick, those magic lizards never did anything to deserve being hucked across a room, its another oddly out of place note that I guess the writer missed but ruins the tense tone of the scene with mental pictures of luke tossing iguanas against a wall. fun fact: since the thrawn trilogy was audiobooks I got through the whole trilogy thinking Talon Karde's ship was the Wild Card. Later looking at wookiepedia or something I learned it was actually called the Wild Karde and spent the next 3 hours on the floor fallen from my chair, groaning and rolling my eyes.
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2015 10:51
|
|
|
The Luke/Mara stuff is sort of funny in that their whole relationship in Spectre/Visions comes across as Zahn going "NO YOU IDIOTS, *THIS* WAS HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO! NOW I HAVE TO UNDO ALL YOUR poo poo!" to the people that wrote the books where she's seeing Lando.
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2015 13:19
|
|
|
it took me forever to realise that karde was, like, 'card'. i thought it was karade simply because i thought there was no goddamn way that 'wild karde' would be an actual thing.
|
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2015 15:04
|
|
|
doesn't it have two rs karrde wild karrde HE'S A CLONE
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2015 15:46
|
|
|
zahn is really bad about the bad puns, the quadrail books have a master of disguise named mcmicking
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2015 16:16
|
|
|
happyhippy posted:
That thing in the background look sblazed as gently caress, so im going with bong/crackpipe.
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2015 16:19
|
|
|
Bofa Deez
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2015 20:20
|
|
|
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Hapan "Hapans were biologically similar to baseline Humans; however, they possessed some key differences, the most prominent of which was that they were selectively bred over many generations to be beautiful. This was due to the fact that in 4000 BBY, the pirates that originally ruled the Hapes Cluster captured and mated with the more attractive of the Human women they captured. Due to the isolation of the sixty-three inhabited worlds that made up their home, the whole population eventually became beautiful due to the limited gene pool. Another trait that Hapans possessed was their night blindness" So inbreeding creates beautiful people in the EU, ok.
|
|
#
?
Apr 15, 2015 19:27
|
|
|
Mr.Pibbleton posted:http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Hapan Wait wouldn't everybody be ugly because all the hot people were captured by pirates? Or did the pirates capture the hot people and kill the uglies.
|
|
#
?
Apr 15, 2015 20:01
|
|
|
Liquid Dinosaur posted:Wait wouldn't everybody be ugly because all the hot people were captured by pirates? Or did the pirates capture the hot people and kill the uglies. They're basically gay space vikings.
|
|
#
?
Apr 15, 2015 20:10
|
|
|
TK-42-1 posted:They're basically gay space vikings. Ok, now I actually want to read this, sounds pretty cool.
|
|
#
?
Apr 15, 2015 20:11
|
|
|
Limited genepool of only 63 planets.
|
|
#
?
Apr 15, 2015 20:23
|
|
|
Namarrgon posted:Limited genepool of only 63 planets. There's only 100 people per planet in Star Wars.
|
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2015 00:24
|
|
|
RFC2324 posted:Ok, now I actually want to read this, sounds pretty cool. Don't, I've only seen snippets from the Let's Read thread, but from what I gathered the book was 'Han Solo, rapist + reverse-gendered Gor planet'
|
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2015 00:50
|
|
|
Liquid Dinosaur posted:Wait wouldn't everybody be ugly because all the hot people were captured by pirates? Or did the pirates capture the hot people and kill the uglies. I'm pretty sure their entire society is a radfem statement about a society where pirates came and took all the male children to make more pirates and then the hot pirates got to rape all of the hot women and knock them up, and then they wait a few years and do it all over again. I'm pretty sure I remember it saying the women get left on their own after pirates come and father children. Eventually the women overthrow the men and reduce them to second class citizens across the entire society. And there are some severely sexist overtones to the constant portrayal of the entire place as a poisonous assassin ridden hellhole full of beautiful people(women) jockeying for position to stab anyone in the back who might get them a pay raise or a better seat at state dinners. Hapes likes Rapes. TheSpiritFox fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Apr 16, 2015 |
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2015 02:56
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngElkyQ6Rhs new trailer is p cool and i am excited for wars in space
|
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2015 19:45
|
|
|
This is going to end up as Star Wars: The References Awaken.
|
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2015 20:25
|
|
|
oohhboy posted:This is going to end up as Star Wars: The References Awaken. that's fine, i dunno about you but i want a cool star wars movie.
|
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2015 20:33
|
|
|
Oh cool, the bad guy is Darth Revan, apparently. Or else Kylo Ren is just a fanboy of much cooler sith lords. He does have Vader's melted helmet.
|
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2015 20:45
|
|
|
I'm as cynical about the EU as the rest if you but I'm not gonna lie, the second I saw Han and Chewie sitting in the cockpit I literally became Rich Evans wearing the Vader mask and masturbating an astromech droid dick
|
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2015 22:15
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 4, 2024 01:15 |
|
|
Wolfsheim posted:I'm as cynical about the EU as the rest if you but I'm not gonna lie, the second I saw Han and Chewie sitting in the cockpit I literally became Rich Evans wearing the Vader mask and masturbating an astromech droid dick 
|
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2015 23:08
|
|