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What digits are female? And how can there be more than 10 of them?
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Apr 17, 2015 14:31
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I was genuinely surprised to find this wasn't by The Funnyman With Jokes and Laughing. Johnny rocked, teacher shocked!
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Apr 17, 2015 14:48
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Paladinus posted:What digits are female? And how can there be more than 10 of them?  He's collecting their fingers
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Apr 17, 2015 14:58
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"But she fell in love with what I said next" I didn't think clickbait-esque statements (surely there's a better way to describe that) would extend into text but oh boy here we are.
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Apr 17, 2015 15:09
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Everything about that scenario is hilariously bad but "Give me your number so you can call me" is cracking me up for some reason.
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Apr 17, 2015 15:12
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Lblitzer posted:"But she fell in love with what I said next" I'm just imagining it all narrated, especially "but she fell in love with what I said next" over a chick looking painfully awkward and uncomfortable and trying to back away slowly. Because if this ever happened, she would say she would totally tell him she would send every girl she knows his number and tell then how great he is so she can escape and not end up in this guys basement dungeon or whatever, because he is so helpful.
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Apr 17, 2015 15:18
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quote:I have 14 female's digits As in fingers?
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Apr 17, 2015 15:19
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Jonathan Yeah! posted:As in fingers? STDH: You reading the newest page.
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Apr 17, 2015 15:35
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Jonathan Yeah! posted:As in fingers? He only keeps ring fingers, they're the perfect size for his...other activities.
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Apr 17, 2015 15:35
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Don't thank me, pay it forward by subjecting 3 more girls to my creep stare.
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Apr 17, 2015 15:46
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Everyone whose number he gets gives him other numbers in a desperate attempt to avoid being called by him. The perfect plan
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Apr 17, 2015 16:06
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Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:I hate birds. You can gently caress right off. 
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Apr 17, 2015 16:53
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Women are just dying to meet the rare guy that would dare do something helpful. They're so rare that you'd have a dozen friends fight over him sight unseen.
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Apr 17, 2015 17:23
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I think if a bunch of losers started demanding personal information rather than simple "thank you"s the MRA nightmare of the woman who yells at you for holding the door would come true. Like gently caress I'd accept small friendly gestures from any stranger if they thought they deserved my number and my friends' numbers for it. e: I mean I'd give his number to every woman I'd ever met and we'd all get married
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Apr 17, 2015 17:29
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SybilVimes posted:
You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon. With nail polish. These loving amateurs.
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Apr 17, 2015 17:34
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Apr 17, 2015 22:06
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I hope the receipt owner just works for a different restaurant, like in Waiting
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Apr 17, 2015 22:45
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Is there a story attached to this or do we have to fill it in for ourselves? I mean the implications are fairly clear, I was wondering if there was some lovely stilted script-format dialogue accompanying the image
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Apr 17, 2015 23:51
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This is the type of person we call a goosefucker.
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Apr 17, 2015 23:56
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Apr 18, 2015 00:27
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5 minutes is a hell of a lot longer than most people apparently think
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Apr 18, 2015 00:31
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I wonder if he called for paramedics after several minutes of his friend's catatonia.
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Apr 18, 2015 00:33
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She responded with  No words necessary.
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Apr 18, 2015 00:35
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I bet it was just the mother of all eye-rolls.
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Apr 18, 2015 00:46
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If it did happen she probably would be rolling her eyes to heaven, but I still don't think it did. The line isn't awful, it just sounds terrible as a pick up line. It belongs in The Fault in Our Stars or some other dreck aimed at ~*|Special Teens|*~. Though trying to have a casual chat about philosophy with a girl definitely sounds like something who thinks that line is smooth would do.
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Apr 18, 2015 00:59
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So, I was chatting up that bint about the Frankfurt School and I went like 'even though the standards of beauty are dictated to us by mass media to distract us from class struggle with mindless consumption, I'd still totally consume your minge'. She was speechless for ten years and then became a Catholic nun.
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Apr 18, 2015 01:23
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mostly because I suck at eating minge
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Apr 18, 2015 01:39
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I was discussing the struggles of the proletariat with a girl and accidentally said, "Baby, I believe that workers should own the means of production but I'd become a member of the bourgeoisie for you." She was stunned into silence for several minutes before reporting me to the internal security services and having me sent to a gulag.
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Apr 18, 2015 01:59
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You guys acting like there would be any truly obstructing situation plugged into the sentence "even though _______, I'd still totally consume your minge."
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Apr 18, 2015 02:23
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"You explicitly said no".. Yep, still checks out, I can easily see the fedora damply breathing out that phase
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Apr 18, 2015 02:29
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I have no mouth but I must consume minge.
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Apr 18, 2015 02:36
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Crow Jane posted:I have no mouth but I must consume minge. Minge. Let me tell you how much minge I've eaten since I began to live. There are 387,444 inches of thread that make up my fedora. If each nano-angstrom of those threads loved to eat minge they would still not equal one-billionth of the love I have for eating minge at this micro-instant. Minge. Minge. Minge is a very unpleasant word, almost as bad as panties.
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Apr 18, 2015 02:47
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I was discussing politics with a girl and I said "baby, I'm not sure Big Brother is all he's cracked up to be, but I'd go to war with Eurasia for you". She was speechless for five minutes, but then she said "we've always been at war with Eurasia" and had me sent to Room 101.
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Apr 18, 2015 03:38
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I was discussing the 1000 year Reich with a girl and accidentally said, "Baby, I believe that the German people have a right to their Lebensraum... But I'd let the Polish keep Danzig for you." She was stunned into silence for several minutes before calling the Gestapo, who sent me to a concentration camp.
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Apr 18, 2015 03:47
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EmmyOk posted:Minge. Let me tell you how much minge I've eaten since I began to live. There are 387,444 inches of thread that make up my fedora. If each nano-angstrom of those threads loved to eat minge they would still not equal one-billionth of the love I have for eating minge at this micro-instant. Minge. Minge. Fedoraman, do you remember the last words your waifu said before you consumed her minge? hmm? before you locked your sickly lips with hers? That sickly minge? she looked at you so sadly, and like a female said, "have you taken the red pill, honey?"
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Apr 18, 2015 04:42
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Turtlicious posted:Fedoraman, do you remember the last words your waifu said before you consumed her minge? hmm? before you locked your sickly lips with hers? That sickly minge? she looked at you so sadly, and like a female said, "have you taken the red pill, honey?" Not emptyquoting this. 
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Apr 18, 2015 09:26
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I've eaten minges you people wouldn't believe.EmmyOk posted:Minge is a very unpleasant word, almost as bad as panties. Minge is so much worse than panties, don't even start.
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Apr 18, 2015 14:38
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Ooh boy Daughter's creepy drawing led to hidden room - need people good with languages to tell if the language is her invention or if someone else did this  Full story is in the page - I am posting this on multiple sites, hopefully to find an answer. Main imgur tag is "Awesome" (to be fair other tags call the bullshit) and most comments seem to believe the whole thing. Uh-huh.
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Apr 18, 2015 16:38
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It was obviously way too small for me so I sent my small child exploring through the innards of the house and attic by herself with a video camera.  OMG look at this satanic writing! I am bringing a shotgun don't you guys worry. Honestly it doesn't look like there's anywhere to go in that picture. Like, its just a hole with some pipes. There's no room to go anywhere that I can see. The writing is classic creepypasta writing style too. In the same way that most STDH have that ridiculously awkward stilted speech, all creepypastas have the same slow building totally innocent experience that has a WILD TURN suddenly omg so wacky. I bet if you did a google image search on that candle you'd find it was a stock photo or something.
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Apr 18, 2015 16:57
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Fathis Munk posted:Ooh boy Ugh. I'm going to guess some kind of viral marketing attempt. The whole thing bums me out because I totally would have been one of the people who tells everyone about this and thinks it's so cool about ten years ago but now I just think it's fake and dumb.
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Apr 18, 2015 17:02
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