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Shbobdb posted:Calling it now: Michael is the one feeding them all the crazy ideas. Being relatively attractive and comparatively successful, he can be king of the goons and rule them with an iron fist. Hmm. Dare I go full cougar (Michael has got to be at least 7-8 years younger than me) for internet comedy? Dare I draw closer to Jordan's twisted world and become the Yoko Ono of the Krazy Klatch? Actually, no, no, I don't, because that poo poo's weird and gross.
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Apr 21, 2015 00:16
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CrotchDropJeans posted:Actually, no, no, I don't, because that poo poo's weird and gross. Thanks. You had me worried a minute.
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Apr 21, 2015 00:35
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TunaSpleen posted:That's a lot like my grandmother, deep in the throes of dementia. Fortunately, I'm burned into her memory at the age she first started declining, so I'm perpetually ~21 to her, which is way better than being perceived as a child or even a teen. She keeps asking when I'm going to graduate but now I can keep honestly answering, just increasing the degree level every few years. She's always so impressed and proud. Then she started confusing me for my dad, her son. Then she thought both of us were strangers, until we reminded her. Then she couldn't even remember either of us, and eventually lost the ability to speak entirely.  Basically what I'm saying is that dementia sucks, and I feel for anyone that has to watch a loved one go through that.
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Apr 21, 2015 00:45
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This thread makes me want to laugh and cry all at the same time.  And I am not surprised to see John Ringo in a place full of terrible stories.
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Apr 21, 2015 01:00
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Cemetry Gator posted:I bet Michael is either a high-school friend who just can't let go because he doesn't want to hurt someone, or he's there for the material. Because if you're a writer, these people probably have a million stories. Why not both? But yeah, what makes you think Michael's not a handler? Maybe not in an 'official' sense, just some civic-minded dude who's making sure these weirdos don't go shooting up a school or something. CrotchDropJeans posted:Actually, no, no, I don't, because that poo poo's weird and gross. But think of the stories you could tell! Yessss
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Apr 21, 2015 02:41
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It might be entertaining to buy him an account, at least.
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Apr 21, 2015 02:50
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Poison Mushroom posted:It might be entertaining to buy him an account, at least. Hahah, you think this guy isn't already a goon.
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Apr 21, 2015 02:53
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Didn't something like that happen once before in this thread? Two goons realized they knew the same crazy?
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Apr 21, 2015 02:57
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Poison Mushroom posted:It might be entertaining to buy him an account, at least. I have no way of getting in touch with him now (except by calling my grandparents, asking to speak to Jordan, and saying "Hey can I get Michael's email so I can make fun of you on the internet more effectively?"), but man, I bet he could tell some tales.
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Apr 21, 2015 03:40
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So Michael is polite, likeable, clean, educated and seems like a genuinely kind person? Well looks like one of the Krazy Klutch manifested their imaginary friend, obviously Michael has to keep them appropriately obsessive to maintain corporality.
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Apr 21, 2015 05:37
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DarkHorse posted:Basically what I'm saying is that dementia sucks, and I feel for anyone that has to watch a loved one go through that. You reminded me that I also have a self-estranged aunt that brings my grandmother much grief whenever she remembers her, and I think that story fits in this thread! My grandmother's two daughters, my aunts Linda and Peggy, never got along. Linda is a vibrant social butterfly (that texts me pot jokes on April 20th in her late 60s) and Peggy is an introverted Jesus nut I haven't seen since ~2002. Even as girls when they had to share the same bedroom, Linda would want to talk to her sister to be rebuffed with "go away, I'm busy reading." As adults, Linda, Peggy, and their brothers got married, had kids, did the whole American Dream thing. Linda had two girls, Peggy had two girls. The difference is, Linda raised her daughters to wear makeup, love clothes and shoes, chase boys at the mall, and pretty much be normal. Peggy raised her girls like a total helicopter parent, scrutinizing the food that went into their mouths (she's fat but they're both downright twiggy), vetted all their friends, attended all their mundane school meetings, and even followed along on dates and would spy on them from the other side of the restaurant. At family gatherings (1990s) she would tell everyone their bowel movement schedules and try to discern if they were healthy. They were, although I'm sure their BMIs were under 20. When anyone tried to uncomfortably change the subject, Peggy would oblige by talking about her various knee surgeries for attention and sympathy. Her husband would spend the whole evening in the basement watching all of us cousins playing to make sure that his precious snowflake daughters weren't touched by any boys, who were never a threat but Peggy's family is paranoid regarding males. She's also notoriously cheap, too--her gifts to family members were always damaged clearance bin goods, used clothing, and for my 8th birthday I got a subscription to the Watchtower Magazine! She's not a Jehovah's Witness, but she signed me up because it was free. Most of our family, myself included, is atheist. Fast forward to 2002, and Linda's younger daughter had a toddler son of her own. She also lived in a large house down the street from my grandma, so we went to her place for Thanksgiving instead. That's when the poor toddler made the horrible mistake of attempting to play Cops and Robbers with his Great Aunt Peggy, pointing an empty squirt gun at her trying to recruit her into his game. She responded by telling Linda that he was under Satan's influence and a horrible demon child, then took her nuclear family and ragequit the premises. She sent letters to the rest of us relatives a week later trying to make everyone pick sides, but we were all like "the gently caress, it's a little boy doing boy stuff, you're weird" so we haven't heard from her since. Peggy's kids even have us all permanently blocked on Facebook even though it's been over a decade and they're in their 30s. Now that my grandma won't be around much longer, Peggy visits her mother at the hospice in a petty attempt to get back into her good graces (but mostly inheritance) but that's all for naught because her stuff was mostly sold off years ago to raise funds for medical expenses. Grandma may have dementia but in her more lucid moments she's perfectly aware that Peggy isn't genuine in her attempt to reconcile, seeing as she still won't go near any of the rest of us or admit fault. The kicker? Even if Grandma did have any money, Linda's older daughter is a lawyer specializing in elder law and conveniently helped write Peggy out of the will years ago. It's going to be an interesting shitstorm after my grandmother dies.
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Apr 21, 2015 11:49
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TunaSpleen posted:You reminded me that I also have a self-estranged aunt that brings my grandmother much grief whenever she remembers her, and I think that story fits in this thread! I feel really badly for her kids.  Also, this story takes on an interesting twist if I imagine that the Peggy you're talking about is Peggy Hill.
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Apr 21, 2015 12:41
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TunaSpleen, that's awful, I hope someone has PoA over your grandmother so Peggy can't try to weasel her way back in dishonestly, even if most of the things of value are gone. There are no actual estrangements in my family, but Jordan's dad has already started getting money out of my grandmother by convincing her that he needs it for medicine. She has anxiety problems and gets herself all worked up at the prospect of my uncle being sick, so even if my grandfather points out that he has a well-paying job with health insurance she'll still throw a fit and insist that he get the money. I am sure I don't need to explicitly say this in a series of posts about my cousin who lives in a filth-hole and has an imaginary friend, but my family is hosed up. Mind Loving Owl posted:So Michael is polite, likeable, clean, educated and seems like a genuinely kind person? Well looks like one of the Krazy Klutch manifested their imaginary friend, obviously Michael has to keep them appropriately obsessive to maintain corporality. My god, what a living hell! To remain real, Michael must go against his very nature and spend hours sitting in a pile of garbage with the three most socially inept people I've ever seen before. I bet he just sits there imagining nice things, like jogging on the beach or attending a neighborhood barbecue festival, while the other yammer on about whose character would beat the others in a katana fight.
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Apr 21, 2015 14:47
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CrotchDropJeans posted:TunaSpleen, that's awful, I hope someone has PoA over your grandmother so Peggy can't try to weasel her way back in dishonestly, even if most of the things of value are gone. I think that honor probably goes to my uncle? She's safe, and even if Peggy ends up with the remainder (some jewelry) she won't be laughing all the way to the bank with it.
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Apr 21, 2015 15:27
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I still don't know the full story behind my mother's-side-family. I've heard that my ain't and uncle tried to cut much mother out of the inheritance, I've heard that my grandmother had been setting them all against each other since they were old enough to give her attention... The only thing I know for sure is that my mother is not an unbiased source about anything, much less that.
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Apr 21, 2015 15:47
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TunaSpleen, do you know what happened with Peggy's daughters?
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Apr 21, 2015 16:55
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CrotchDropJeans posted:My god, what a living hell! To remain real, Michael must go against his very nature and spend hours sitting in a pile of garbage with the three most socially inept people I've ever seen before. I bet he just sits there imagining nice things, like jogging on the beach or attending a neighborhood barbecue festival, while the other yammer on about whose character would beat the others in a katana fight. And it's probably only Jordan's spectacular laziness that's keeping Michael from having to do great battle with Kyle. I suggest we all take a minute to imagine Michael a bit, ease the burden. DizzyBum posted:Also, this story takes on an interesting twist if I imagine that the Peggy you're talking about is Peggy Hill. Actually that whole situation reminds me of the better King of the Kill seasons.
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Apr 21, 2015 17:36
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AlbieQuirky posted:TunaSpleen, do you know what happened with Peggy's daughters? Last I heard, one became an elementary school teacher in her hometown and the other is a university librarian several states away. My other cousins and I have tried to contact them to no avail and we don't know if they're doing that out of support for their mother or fear of her wrath.
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Apr 22, 2015 05:58
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CommissarMega posted:But yeah, what makes you think Michael's not a handler? Maybe not in an 'official' sense, just some civic-minded dude who's making sure these weirdos don't go shooting up a school or something. What makes you think Michael isn't actually just as goony and weird, just in a much less obvious way? He's probably an adult baby otherkin or something.
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Apr 22, 2015 11:48
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moerketid posted:What makes you think Michael isn't actually just as goony and weird, just in a much less obvious way? He's probably an adult baby otherkin or something. He is a normalkin. That's when you pretend that you are a normal and well adjusted member of society.
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Apr 22, 2015 12:19
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moerketid posted:What makes you think Michael isn't actually just as goony and weird, just in a much less obvious way? He's probably an adult baby otherkin or something. Or he was a goony goon once, lost loads of weight, upped his hygiene game, but still feels inwardly like a goony goon. It can take a long time to get over gooniness.
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Apr 22, 2015 14:51
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Rondette posted:Or he was a goony goon once, lost loads of weight, upped his hygiene game, but still feels inwardly like a goony goon. It can take a long time to get over gooniness.
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Apr 22, 2015 16:44
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Grognan posted:Honestly I think her mother bought like, one of them and never got the rest on account of good taste.   http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3385144&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 Here is a wonderful let's read of John Ringo's masterwank of fiction by Cryano. Do note that it requires archives and that it is FULL of terrible things. (The book, not the thread) That's not your standard issue goon hyperbole, by the by, the book has made me physically nauseated in places.
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Apr 27, 2015 12:26
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Poison Mushroom posted:Didn't something like that happen once before in this thread? Two goons realized they knew the same crazy? In the case you might be thinking about it was more "these were the stories cobbled together from the social group that knew this woman", because she sounded a lot like Denise except a few years ahead. Then somebody showed up to corroborate a lot of it and more! To be fair, in some nerd communities if you show up to events and things even casually you'll become acquainted with the organizers and regular attendees, and oddballs like Denise and Jordan stick out like a sore thumb. Perhaps its not as common in the US, particularly in the large cities, but here in Australia it is definitely a thing.
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Apr 28, 2015 16:45
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I've finally caught up to the thread after a month of spending my lunch breaks reading it. You poor bastards have given me so much entertainment that I'm going to return the favor by sharing my own misery. When I get a large enough chunk of free time after I recover from the nerve damage I did to my left hand by falling off my RV I'm going to tell you about my furry girlfriend from 20 years ago and what went down when she took me to a convention in the mid 90's. (yes they have been around that long) I also went on a date a few weeks ago that'd fit here and would provide some diversity since most posts are about teens/twentysomethings and this woman is in my 40+ age bracket and crrrrrrazy! but the person who set us up is a goon and I'm 90% sure my date is too so Thread Drama may be a thing if I post it. Yeah I know  but warning - Drama! The docs say I should be 100% in a couple weeks if I dutifully chug B12 tablets. I certainly hope so because this took loving forever to type with only my left index finger working and liberal use of the backspace key.
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May 23, 2015 03:58
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Oh, is that what your old ban reason means? Because if so  vvv Ahhh, OK. Life is strange. SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL fucked around with this message at 15:29 on May 25, 2015 |
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May 23, 2015 14:39
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No, that was Abe being a Big Jerk by banning me for making an actual drunk post in the old drunk post only thread. Click the ban to see if you want but it was basically just sloshed me ranting about a bad breakup with additional reference to when I dumped a woman for a disgusting reason, all of which happened many years after Furry Girl.
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May 23, 2015 23:16
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Haskell9 posted:I've finally caught up to the thread after a month of spending my lunch breaks reading it. You poor bastards have given me so much entertainment that I'm going to return the favor by sharing my own misery. When I get a large enough chunk of free time after I recover from the nerve damage I did to my left hand by falling off my RV I'm going to tell you about my furry girlfriend from 20 years ago and what went down when she took me to a convention in the mid 90's. (yes they have been around that long) I also went on a date a few weeks ago that'd fit here and would provide some diversity since most posts are about teens/twentysomethings and this woman is in my 40+ age bracket and crrrrrrazy! but the person who set us up is a goon and I'm 90% sure my date is too so Thread Drama may be a thing if I post it. Yeah I know So, how is the old nerve damage? This thread needs new life!
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Jun 16, 2015 18:48
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I'm healing more slowly than the docs anticipated (aging past 40 is terrible and I don't advise it.) I am getting better though so I hope to get it written up by the end of the week. edit: I'm going to add an aside here to forestall some hyper-pc weenie posting stupid crap like 'oh you were so traumatized by seeing those awful gaaayyys' or trying to report me for 'homophobia' for the upcoming post. Younger goons might not be aware of how far the gay rights movement has come, even compared to times as recent as ~20 years ago when the anecdote took place. Something like this being publicly posted/broadcast would have caused an incredible uproar anywhere outside a gay stronghold like San Francisco. GLBT people are much more likely to come out now and they are much more visible in the more enlightened areas of the country. At the time I was a LegoRobot-esque douchey outspoken atheist who was contemptuous of religious restrictions on sexuality (and I'd tell you aaallll about it, even if you didn't ask!  ) but I had never so much as met an openly gay person. They were like unicorns: OK to exist in the abstract but unseen. It added an extra bit of surprise to, well, you'll see....  edit Sunday I ain't got poo poo to do except relive youthful trauma to entertain Internet nerds so tune back in then I guess Haskell9 fucked around with this message at 04:21 on Jun 27, 2015 |
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Jun 21, 2015 19:44
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Jun 22, 2015 05:32
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This is an excellent set up and I look forward to the incoming horror.
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Jun 24, 2015 02:58
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I just learned that my fiancée is friends with and has stayed in the same hotel room as forum favourite JF Bibeau.
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Jun 28, 2015 10:26
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Captain Capacitor posted:I just learned that my fiancée is friends with and has stayed in the same hotel room as forum favourite JF Bibeau. Sever. Fast. Or, marry them and come back with stories for this thread in a few years.
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Jun 28, 2015 10:34
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Captain Capacitor posted:I just learned that my fiancée is friends with and has stayed in the same hotel room as forum favourite JF Bibeau.  over the outcome of a relationship over the next several years?
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Jun 28, 2015 10:54
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Can someone link me to the thread(s?) or just give a general explanation of what JF Bibeau's deal is?
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Jun 28, 2015 10:59
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ThatBasqueGuy posted:Can someone link me to the thread(s?) or just give a general explanation of what JF Bibeau's deal is? Thread 2: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3458196 Impossible to summarise. He's a terrible fantasy writer, a terrible costumer, a terrible creeper on teenage girls, terrible in too many ways to number and practically perfect thread fodder. So how's he doing these days, Cap?
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Jun 28, 2015 11:12
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Bibeau's a cosplaying manchild who quit an IT job back when IT was relatively new and pursued his dreams of writing terrible fantasy. He eventually lost his house that reeked of cat piss because he traded away steady income to work on a hobby he was terrible at.
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Jun 28, 2015 11:14
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I told my fiancee that I posted here, and she wanted to speak up. She said that she actually was told about the 14yo through JF's Facebook by him with a very "I did not do anything" mindset, and met him in 2008. He convinced her that the problem was entirely not his fault and now she knows that wasn't true. Tonight he came up during conversation due to a milestone on his Facebook, where she is friends with him, and I startled her by knowing who he was. Once I read her the first hand account from the person who was victimized at fourteen she was very, very upset. She only knows him from a con they tend to bump into each other at, and his providing a hotel room in 2008, But in 2011 he complained to her about how he did nothing wrong, and she supported him. She feels horrible. And now I feel like an rear end in a top hat.
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Jun 28, 2015 11:14
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Captain Capacitor posted:She feels horrible. And now I feel like an rear end in a top hat. It's not your wife's fault. I've had first hand experience with people being accused of really horrible poo poo they didn't do and getting harassed over it, so I can say pretty authoritively it's not like she did anything wrong by listening to someone's defense-she just didn't have any counterpoints till now. WickedHate fucked around with this message at 11:35 on Jun 28, 2015 |
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Jun 28, 2015 11:32
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Okay, yeah, that's just a lovely situation. I think sometimes a lot of us, myself included, forget that these people don't walk around with "look how crazy I am" signs on their necks and can look totally normal (if a bit eccentric).
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Jun 28, 2015 11:51
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