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The Slithery D posted:Best/worst local food deployment meals. Go. We did a lot of MSR security around Fallujah and due to such we often created huge traffic jams during the early hours of the evening/morning as people would get rolling before/after curfew. During the longer jams we'd send dismount teams into the trucks to check on things get an eye for how the public was acting. Whenever the truckers would stop they'd all gather up at a single truck and break out portable stoves/grills and grill up some mystery meat before wrapping it in Naan or whatever it was, with various veggies/spices. They'd always offer so we'd give them some money and accept. Except for the royal case of the shits I got from the first one (Lesson not included) it was loving delicious. I looked forward to p-ieds from that point on just so we could snag some food from them while waiting for eod to show up.
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Apr 20, 2015 16:06
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No poo poo on the "mystery meat." I visited a Sons of Iraq HQ with my commander and they put out a pretty big spread for us. I asked my interpreter what animal the meat originated from, and all I could get out of him was "just meat." From taste tests I think it was the Iraqi version of ManBearPig - half goat, half cow, half lamb. Shout out to the company commander who started briefing the BN CUB with the ManBearPig icon as his company logo on PP slides when they made him start briefing for a combined two companies plus Iraqis AO. No one but me got it or even understood it when I explained, which I guess made the whole BN staff idiots, no surprise.
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Apr 20, 2015 17:57
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Kandahar Poo Pond stories are always fun. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned Hall in this thread before. The weird, West Virginia-raised, pedophile autist comm SrA who smelled like moldy garbage and whose voice sounded like... Well, like a retarded chimo from WV. Anyway, Hall ended up on night shift in the TOC they stuck me in at KAF. One day after my shift I had to run a message to Hall about an upcoming change to the hours. His building was nearly adjacent to the poo pond with an uninterrupted view, doors facing straight toward it so that everyone living there got to see it first thing every morning when they stepped outside. I go in and find Hall's room, open the door and get sucker punched by the combined reek of three months old pizza boxes, rotten DFAC food and the unmistakable odor of a generally stinky rear end in a top hat. It actually blew my mind that I was standing only a few dozen yards away from thousands of gallons of raw human sewage and this grown adult's room actually smelled way worse than it did outside.
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Apr 21, 2015 10:24
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Wild T posted:Kandahar Poo Pond stories are always fun. Sometimes the Poo Pond was downwind of you. Those were good days.
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Apr 21, 2015 11:01
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I used to feel pity for the gate guards on the SW gate of Camp Fallujah, for less than 100 feet away from them was the Flejeune poo pond. You could see the toothpaste on their nostrils when you drove by them. Poor bastards.
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Apr 21, 2015 15:10
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http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/..._national_pop_bquote:Police in Georgia arrested a U.S. veteran on Friday after she took an American flag away from students who were trampling it. Michelle Manhart, a former Air Force staff sergeant who left the military after posing nude for Playboy, took the flag from a group of African American students at Valdosta State University who were demonstrating against racism. Manhart, who is white, was handcuffed but has not been charged with a crime.
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Apr 21, 2015 18:03
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The AF photos she did that led to her discharge were also done with flags that she let drag the ground 
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Apr 21, 2015 18:11
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People that get butthurt about flag desecration as a form of protest are pretty dumb
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Apr 21, 2015 18:18
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Internet Wizard posted:People that get butthurt about flag desecration as a form of protest are pretty dumb But sometimes leads to hilarious results http://rt.com/news/196024-drone-soccer-albania-serbia/ They also should have known a lot better to have this match at all.
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Apr 21, 2015 18:47
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Soulex posted:Yeah. Balad sucked. Nothing is more Holy shot, you were in the small rear end cops of Al Asad and Talil??? Oh man, get this man the jiggly rear end pics quick, poor soul was stuck in the tiny shithole that was Al Asad instead of Balad
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Apr 22, 2015 13:36
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than being yelled at for not saluting in a no salute area, the "are you loving serious?" Of those participating and hosting fun runs. Which easily had thousands of people doing it. Iraq never made sense. I had more fun on Al Assad and Talil
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I got yelled at in Kuwait for not saluting an O-6 air force officer. I was still a private at the time. "YOU DON'T SALUTE OFFICERS PRIVATE??" Queue me looking a foot to my left at the t-barrier that had "No Salute Zone" stenciled on it.
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Apr 22, 2015 15:00
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CLB turned their ready ramp on Fallujah into a saluting zone and would put poor butter bars and 1stLt's out in the guard shack at the entrance. They would always demand a salute, though nobody would talk to them. I fondly remember a young boo'tenant screaming that we'd better stop walking while he goes to get his Captain. Sometimes I hated that walk from our ready ramp, across the street from theirs.
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Apr 22, 2015 15:27
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the greeting of the day is "sniper check sir, yuuuut!"
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Apr 22, 2015 15:29
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On one of the random tag-alongs our Capt. pulled one day, while I was standing off away from the trucks, I overheard him arguing with our Sgt section leader. Can't remember what they were arguing about but as the section leader made his point the Capt. looked at him, snapped to attention and popped him a salute. The section leader the proceeded to follow him around pointing and saluting him for any and all who cared to watch. I laughed at the time but now I realize how immature and loving stupid they were acting and wish I could go back in time and slap them.
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Apr 22, 2015 15:45
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There has never been nor will there ever be a slap hard enough to knock stupid out of the military.
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Apr 22, 2015 15:56
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LCL-Dead posted:On one of the random tag-alongs our Capt. pulled one day, while I was standing off away from the trucks, I overheard him arguing with our Sgt section leader. When I got promoted to 1LT our company mechanics, who knew I hated salutes, made it a point every time they saw me coming to space themselves out so that I had to return each individual salute instead of do them as a group. I loved those assholes.
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Apr 22, 2015 16:03
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The Slithery D posted:When I got promoted to 1LT our company mechanics, who knew I hated salutes, made it a point every time they saw me coming to space themselves out so that I had to return each individual salute instead of do them as a group. I loved those assholes. See, that's pretty funny. We'd just watch our backs and call officers as they approached and, if on the ready ramp, figure out a way to get our hats off as quick as possible... I almost typed out "covers"... It's a god damned hat.
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Apr 22, 2015 16:04
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LCL-Dead posted:CLB turned their ready ramp on Fallujah into a saluting zone and would put poor butter bars and 1stLt's out in the guard shack at the entrance. They would always demand a salute, though nobody would talk to them. I don't know about this. My engineer company was attached to CLB-1 at Camp Fallujah in 2008, right before we turned it over to IA/IP, and this never happened. Unless "ready camp" is something different from Bn HQ or this was a different CLB before us. Content: during the few days I actually spent on Camp Fallujah, my roommate went to sit down on a metal folding chair and somehow managed to clip the pointer finger of his left hand completely off just above the first knuckle. It was just barely hanging off by a little bit of skin. The corpsman's room was right behind the wall of ours. So what does he do? Instead of going straight there, this fool takes the longest possible way, knocking on all the doors to show off his nasty rear end severed finger. He went away for a day or two, but then came back with his finger reattached. It was black for a long time, and he said he lost feeling in it and control of the first knuckle.
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Apr 22, 2015 16:07
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safetyStanddown posted:I don't know about this. My engineer company was attached to CLB-1 at Camp Fallujah in 2008, right before we turned it over to IA/IP, and this never happened. Unless "ready camp" is something different from Bn HQ or this was a different CLB before us. First, allow me to apologize to you. Nobody should have to be attached to CLB. Saluting post took place in 06 with either CLB-6 or CLB-2, can't remember which. I can't imagine it would carry on between unit/company changes as deployments ended and relief came in. There were some pretty special snowflakes there with CLB when I was there. "Ready Ramp" was what I would assume you guys called the motor pool or something like that. It's where all of the vehicles were parked and then pre-staged, etc etc. Ours was just down the road in front of Camp Grizzly, maybe 150 yards towards the perimeter wall from the CLB lot entrance. We called it the ready ramp because.. well.. we came out there to get ready for patrol/check the trucks/etc. LCL-Dead fucked around with this message at 16:13 on Apr 22, 2015 |
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Apr 22, 2015 16:10
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The Slithery D posted:When I got promoted to 1LT our company mechanics, who knew I hated salutes, made it a point every time they saw me coming to space themselves out so that I had to return each individual salute instead of do them as a group. I loved those assholes. i thought this was the standard
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Apr 22, 2015 16:13
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Oh lol I can't even imagine saluting at the motor pool or construction yard. FWIW, they did make us build SWA huts in full cammies, cover and all, in June/July Anbar heat. Also, we were on a mission one time rebuilding ECP5 after it burned down due to an electrical fire, company staff rolled up while we were in the middle of it and made everyone put on full battle rattle (original MTV) and rifles. I was on a roof laying down plastic at the time. Still no idea how I didn't fall off and break my neck. Also, while on Camp Fallujah, battle buddies at all times. Even if I'm riding a stolen bicycle to the chow hall half a click away. We quickly formed hilarious biker gangs and rode in formation, called it "wild hoggin' it," since that movie was a thing at that time. EDIT: Oh, and my favorite. We went out to the FGC one night to put this fuckhuge piece of cammie netting over a big section of it. This thing was like 9 full pieces all tied together. I don't remember who was in charge, but he was an idiot. Cue LCpl Me having to stand on top of a 10 foot T barrier (waiting to be handed my side of the netting to secure) for what seemed like forever, in the middle of downtown Fallujah, well illuminated on all sides, and no gat (not that it would have helped me). Still not sure how I didn't end up in one of those sniper videos. new friend from school fucked around with this message at 17:00 on Apr 22, 2015 |
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Apr 22, 2015 16:56
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safetyStanddown posted:Oh lol I can't even imagine saluting at the motor pool or construction yard. You poor bastard. We were attached to tracks so the most bullshit we had to put up with was the trackers sitting in OPs on the side of mobile, calling back to the coc to report us if we weren't wearing full ppe. That or massive award ceremonies when they would give their mechanics and comm guys NAMs for doing their jobs. I wish I'd had a bike to ride around base though. That would have been nice.
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Apr 22, 2015 19:12
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A bike would have been nice when we rotated back to taji every 2 weeks. gently caress that place was huge.
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Apr 22, 2015 19:22
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Mike-o posted:A bike would have been nice when we rotated back to taji every 2 weeks. gently caress that place was huge. ugh. gently caress taji. and gently caress 1st cav for making it as bad as it was
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Apr 22, 2015 19:29
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safetyStanddown posted:Oh lol I can't even imagine saluting at the motor pool or construction yard. We had some annoying as gently caress safety contractor attached to us who told our CO we should wear flak and Kevlar every time we are working 5 feet off the ground or higher. On god drat camp leatherneck where there is precisely zero risk of sniper fire. His reasoning? Protection in case we fell, as if that extra weight would somehow stop us from getting hurt and totally not exacerbate the injury. As a USMC combat engineer, I can think of very few instances where there was something we could have fallen on that a flak or Kevlar would have helped.
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Apr 22, 2015 20:01
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I don't think the military was bad, and I'm actually glad I had the experience (rose tinted glasses and all), but if I had to pick the one worst thing about it all, it would have to be dumb fucks putting other people's lives and health in danger for absolutely no good reason, time and again, and without any consequence.
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Apr 22, 2015 20:17
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safetyStanddown posted:I don't think the military was bad, and I'm actually glad I had the experience (rose tinted glasses and all), but if I had to pick the one worst thing about it all, it would have to be dumb fucks putting other people's lives and health in danger for absolutely no good reason, time and again, and without any consequence. americasince1945.txt
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Apr 22, 2015 20:18
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safetyStanddown posted:I don't think the military was bad, and I'm actually glad I had the experience (rose tinted glasses and all), but if I had to pick the one worst thing about it all, it would have to be dumb fucks putting other people's lives and health in danger for absolutely no good reason, time and again, and without any consequence. Thanks for reminding me of this bit of epic stupidity. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/27/world/middleeast/27iraq.html Here's what happened. My battalion was being moved mid-tour from the area south of Kirkuk to Mosul. Blackhawks land at a COP to pick up some soldiers and move them to FOB Warrior for further onward movement. En route, one of the pilots or crew drops his loving M9 pistol outside the helicopter into the moondust at night. (Rumor said it was a pilot who hadn't secured it with his lanyard after taking a piss.) My company, already living at FOB Warrior and pulling the QRF mission gets the dumbest loving assignment of all time. Go to the specified grid and look for the M9. At night. In a desert crisscrossed by irrigation canals. Care to guess how many seconds after dropping the pistol they though to grab a grid, and how fast they were moving? Yeah. So one of my buddies and his platoon go out look for the thing for an hour, and head back. So then some genius, and I would love to know if it was at my BN ops or the aviation BN/BDE, TASKS TWO loving KIOWAS TO GO LOOK FOR THE M9 FROM THE AIR, WITH THEIR OPTICS, AT NIGHT. I don't know how long they tried this asshattery, but at some point they crashed into each other. The same loving platoon from my company went back out, secured the aircraft and bodies, and waited for EOD to come take care of the hellfires and other fun stuff sitting near/in burning fuel and then the recovery vehicles. I would have heard if they ever executed anyone over this, so I guess no one was sufficiently punished. The most infuriating thing about the Army is leaders who can't adapt TTPs to different situations or understand why we do things a certain way and why it's completely asinine in changed circumstances. Some dipshit decided he needed to do the closest thing to a hands across the desert he could for a missing sensitive item, and four men died. A week later the insurgency found that M9 and that's why we have ISIS now. (The above based on testimony of the QRF platoon leader and what he was told at the time. I suppose it's remotely possible some enemy action was actually responsible, but in any case it happened while they were circling on a fool's errand someone ordered them to perform.) The Slithery D fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Apr 22, 2015 |
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Apr 22, 2015 21:34
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Jesus loving christ 
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Apr 22, 2015 21:40
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and no one got reprimanded for it either right? e: nvm you said basically no one got reprimanded. that's a lot of poo poo to do over a loving m9 though. i can understand wanting to recover it, but holy poo poo. Cole fucked around with this message at 22:18 on Apr 22, 2015 |
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Apr 22, 2015 22:07
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Don't you understand, they were just following orders!
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Apr 22, 2015 22:13
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The pilot who dropped the M-9 probably got NJP'd and nobody else got anything other than a stern talking to (except maybe the initial QRF for failing to find the weapon). I wouldn't be surprised if someone twisted it to get a medal or two.
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Apr 22, 2015 22:13
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I'm a human Intel analyst/linguist in the Italian Army and because we have such a shortage I have spent a huge portion of my career in Afghanistan with 6 months on 6 months off, up until last year as you can imagine I have no shortage of stories of total stupidity. While talking to a local I was informed of a large supply cache/resting area shared between several anti ISAF groups, but due to stupid policy it was a nogo zone for us. I proceeded to have it passed on to a ISAF liason and some forces from the U.S. Army were assigned to end the muj fun parade, with exact locations. Except they passed up the compound entirely and hit another one but proceeded to detain EVERYONE in sight. Queue US commanders getting angry at me for giving bad Intel until I found out what compound they hit and told them it was the wrong one....the look on his face was priceless.they would later search the compound but found it totally empty because Muj aren't that dumb. Oh and the informant whom I had worked so hard to get him to trust me proceeded to never ever provide anything again.
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Apr 22, 2015 22:17
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Ok, someone help me understand this (the M9 story) since I never served. I understand the importance of securing weapons as a general rule, and not wanting them to fall into enemy hands. specifically. I understand why this is especially important when you're talking about more technologically complex weapons like, say, hellfire missiles, or general technology like a helicopter (which is why EOD was sent). But how on earth does it make sense to burn fuel for not one but two helicopters looking for a goddamn pistol that probably cost the army $300, if even that much? Purely looking at the expense, it doesn't make sense, much less when you factor in risk (which in this case went horribly wrong), how does that decision even get made? Is there some Army rule about accounting for every weapon, at any cost?
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Apr 22, 2015 22:25
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 Shooting Blanks posted:Ok, someone help me understand this (the M9 story) since I never served. Even as crazy as the Army is about accountability of weapons, the story is insane and makes no sense. I'm sure it's true, but it's absolutely psychotic even in context. My story is way less dark than that one. Lieutenants in the Army generally don't know poo poo (I know I didn't), but I met the platonic ideal of the awful junior officer and it was amazing. He peaked early as a tank platoon leader on the gunnery range, where he 1) ordered his crew to load sabot (super high velocity), 2)had the ballistic computer set to HEAT (lower velocity) , and 3) used the commander's override to personally fire a round clear out of the impact area and almost hit the PX parking lot. The natural solution was to move him to a position where he couldn't do any harm. So they made him the battalion S2. A job properly held by a military intelligence captain, given to a LT with no MI training who couldn't keep his rounds inside a gunnery range the size of Delaware. This led to a different kind of hilarity where his inability to parse basic ideas of probability and spatial relations produced pure gibberish in briefings such as "It is very probable, but NOT likely, that the enemy will attack here." He would lose track of entire enemy artillery battalions and conjure phantom special forces out of thin air to "win" planning sessions. I think he claimed a battalion of enemy guerrillas operating in a forrest would have ballistic missiles loaded with VX. To be fair to him, at one point he declared in the middle of a briefing to a bunch of majors and colonels, "Excuse me, gentlemen, I've just lost my mind." I later saw him, promoted to captain, attending the military intelligence officer advanced course. Because of course that's what happened.
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Apr 22, 2015 22:35
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Shooting Blanks posted:Ok, someone help me understand this (the M9 story) since I never served. i would try to help you make sense of it but then it wouldn't be army
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Apr 22, 2015 22:40
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Cole posted:i would try to help you make sense of it
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Apr 22, 2015 22:49
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Shooting Blanks posted:Ok, someone help me understand this (the M9 story) since I never served. The US military has a boner for accountability for equipment, especially so for items deemed "serialized" (i.e. they have a serial number on them). If a serialized item is lost, the military will lose its absolute poo poo, regardless of how important that item actually is. Same goes for items that get damaged for some reason. I distinctly remember a lot of ninjas roaming around when a motor t driver didn't check around his vehicle for gear when he decided to move his vehicle while we were on standby in Afghanistan. Crushed sapi plates does not make senior enlisted and officers happy. Thank god he didn't run over this other marine's rifle.
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Apr 22, 2015 22:51
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Shooting Blanks posted:Ok, someone help me understand this (the M9 story) since I never served. The Army is completely bug gently caress crazy about recovering missing sensitive items (weapons, night vision goggles, cheap rear end raven drones that flew off into the sunset, etc.). Everyone has a story of getting locked up in a barracks or tent for three weeks because they want someone to confess to stealing the missing NVGs, or 200 people walking across the desert at NTC for three days looking for a Raven that flew off or a some bullshit that someone dropped. This was just that institutional stupidity transplanted to a really, really stupid environment.
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Apr 22, 2015 22:53
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The Slithery D posted:Thanks for reminding me of this bit of epic stupidity. I was the S2 for that aviation squadron on the subsequent deployment. That story is loving infamous. There are hundreds of very, very angry people who loved those pilots and are unhappy at the M9 idiot.
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Apr 22, 2015 23:01
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