Marley Wants More posted:

http://www.rd.com/true-stories/inspiring/robert-downey-jr-saved-grandma/

quote:

At Food Lion grocery store a man standing behind me in the long line snorted ‘Some people!’

‘You would think the manager of this store would pay attention and open another line,’ said a woman in a irritated manner.

I looked to the front of the line to see what the hold up was and saw a very clean and nice looking, young woman trying to get the machine to accept her credit card. No matter how many times she swiped it, the machine kept rejecting it.
The annoyed man standing behind me said ‘It’s one of them welfare card things. Dang people need to get a job like everyone else.’

The young woman turned around to see who had made the ugly comment.

‘It was me,’ he said, pointing to himself.

The young lady’s face began to change expression. From very red to almost in tears, she then dropped the welfare card onto the counter and quickly walked out of the Food Lion. Everyone in the checkout line watched as she began running to her car. She then got in and drove away.

After developing cancer in 1983 and having had to use food stamps, I had learned never to judge anyone without knowing the circumstances of their life. This turned out to be the case today.

Several minutes later a young man walked into the store. He went up to the cashier and asked if she had seen the woman. After describing her, the cashier told him that she had run out of the store, got into her car, and drove away.

‘Why would she do that?’ he asked. Everyone in the line looked around at the fellow who had made the ugly remark and pointed at him.

‘I made a stupid comment about the welfare card she was using. Something I shouldn’t have said. I’m truly sorry,’ said the man.

‘Well, that’s bad, real bad, in fact. Her brother was killed in Afghanistan two years ago. He had three young children and she has taken on that responsibility. She’s twenty years old, single, and now has three children to support,’ he said in a very firm voice.

‘I’m really truly sorry. I didn’t know,’ he replied, shaking both his hands about.

The young man asked, ‘Are these paid for?’ pointing to the shopping cart full of groceries.

‘No sir, It wouldn’t take her card,’ the clerk told him.

‘Do you know where she lives?’ asked the man who had made the comment.

‘Yes, she goes to our church.’

‘Excuse me,’ he said as he made his way to the front of the line. He pulled out his wallet, took out his credit card and told the cashier, ‘Please use my card!’ The clerk took his credit card and began to ring up the young woman’s groceries.

Hold on,’ said the gentleman. He walked back to his shopping cart and began loading his own groceries onto the belt to be included. ‘Come on people. We got three children to help raise!’ he told everyone in line.

Everyone began to place their groceries onto the fast moving belt. A few customers began bagging the food and placing it into separate carts. ‘Go back and get three big turkeys,’ yelled a heavyset woman, as she looked at the man.

‘NO,’ yelled the man. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. The entire store became quiet for several seconds. ‘Five turkeys,’ yelled the man. Everyone began laughing and went back to work.

When all was said and done, the man paid a total of $1,756.67 for all the groceries people had piled onto the counter. He then walked over to the side, pulled out his check book, and began writing a check using the bags of dog food piled near the front of the store for a writing surface. He turned around and handed the check to the young man. ‘She will need a freezer and a few other things as well,’ he told the man.

The young man looked at the check and said, ‘This is really very generous of you.’

‘No,’ said the man. ‘Her brother was the generous one.’

Everyone in the store had been observing and began to clap. And I drove home that day feeling very American.

WetSpink posted:

This one is particularly dear to my heart because it was shared on Facebook by a conservative family memory who has talked poo poo about people on welfare on numerous occasions.


source

Paladinus posted:

That's a pretty cool con, actually.

Paladinus posted:

That's a pretty cool con, actually.

Paladinus posted:

That's a pretty cool con, actually.

ReidRansom posted:

Why would custody of the children not go to their mother? Or on the off off off off off chance that she was also dead or that any state anywhere would let a single active duty man on deployment adopt three children, why wouldn't it go to his parents or some poo poo? No, this is all very suspicious indeed.

Not Always Working circa 1880 posted:

Scene—Portion of a Stationer's Shop, used as Post Office. Two Young Ladies (let them be distinguished as Miss Cross and Miss Orty) discovered behind wire-screen. At opening of scene, the public is composed exclusively of the gentler sex, and the demeanour of Miss C. and Miss O. though firm, is not positively forbidding. Lady Customers, having despatched their business move away, leaving the coast clear to three Mild Men, who advance to screen with a meekness designed to propitiate. Instant transformation in both Miss C. and Miss O., who gaze at them through screen with air of visitors at the Zoo who are not fond of animals.

First Mild Man (with apologetic cough). Oh, good-day! [Slight pause.]

Miss Cross to Miss Orty (in continuation of an interrupted anecdote). Yes, I said it to him just like that—it made me so wild!

Miss Orty. I shouldn't have taken any notice if it had been me.

First M. M. Can you oblige me with six stamps, if you please?

[Miss Orty, without looking at him, opens drawer, tears off six stamps, and tosses them contemptuously underneath the screen.

Second Mild Man. Oh, I beg your pardon, I just called in to inquire—— (Miss C. and Miss O. regard him stonily, which has effect of disconcerting him to some extent). I—I ... there were some books I sent off by Parcels Post from this Office the other day ... you may remember it?—they were all in white wrappers. (Miss C.and Miss O. wear the resigned look of people who feel themselves in for a dull story.) Some of my friends, er—I have been given to understand, that two of the parcels have—well, failed to arrive as yet.... Could you kindly——

Miss O. to Miss C. (with lifted eyebrows). Know anything about the books?

Miss C. shakes her head in scornful repudiation, whereupon Miss Orty selects a printed form, which she jerks towards Second M. M. Fill up that, and send it in to the Postmaster-General.

Second M. M. But are you quite sure they have not been mislaid here? You see they are small books, and it struck me perhaps—er——

Miss O. Any remarks you have to make can be put in the form.

Second M. M. Quite so—but if you could only tell me——

Miss O. Can't do any more than I have done. (To First M. M.) I gave you your stamps some time ago, didn't I?

First M. M. Oh, yes—yes, I had the stamps, thank you. But—but (with manner of man who is compelled to enter on a painful subject) there was my change—I—I gave you half a sovereign.

Miss O. (with cold suspicion). Don't remember it. You should have spoke about it at the time—but of course, if you say you haven't had it—I suppose——

[Deals out his change as if it was more than he had any right to expect.

Second M. M. One moment—am I to leave this form with you?

Miss C. No. Send it to the General Post Office in the regular way—they'll attend to it. You'll find all the directions there if you take the trouble to look.

Second M. M. Thank you very much. Good morning.

[Miss C. and Miss O. naturally take no notice of this piece of familiarity, and Second M. M. departs crushed, and gradually realises that he is slightly annoyed.

Third M. M. (presenting a telegram). Will you send this off at once, please?

Miss Orty (takes the form, and runs a disparaging eye over it, rather as if it were an unwelcome love-letter from some detested adorer). "Post mortem's" two words.

Third M. M. I have no objection—but it's rather important. I want it delivered, and soon.

Miss O. You must put the address more full than "Rumbo," then.

Third M. M. But the telegraphic address is registered "Rumbo."

Miss O. (who seems to consider "Rumbo" somewhat too frivolous). Well, if you like to leave it so, I can send it—it's at your risk. (She leaves the form on the counter.) Eightpence-halfpenny.

Enter Footman, with parcel.

Footman. How much to pay on this, Miss, please?

[Miss Cross takes it reluctantly, slaps it down on scales with infinite contempt, flings in weights, and then tosses a stamp and label to Footman, with the brief remark, "Fourpence," spoken aggressively. Footman, after paying his fourpence, and gazing from stamp to label in a hopeless manner, opens his mouth twice, and withdraws, too intimidated to ask for further instructions.

Miss C. (still occupied with her anecdote). I should laugh if he came again next Sunday, just the same—shouldn't you?

Miss O. I'd let him see I wasn't going to put up with it, I know!

Miss C. Oh, he'll find out he won't have things all his way. (Perceives First M. M. evidently awaiting her leisure.) Was there anything else you were waiting for?

First M. M. Er—yes. Can you let me have a Postal Order for six-and-sixpence?

Miss C. (with decision). No, I can't!

First M. M. (surprised). But surely——!

Miss C. Give you two—one for five shillings, and one for eighteen-pence, if that will do?

First M. M. Of course, that's what I meant!

Miss Cross. It's not what you said—you said a order. (Makes out the orders with much disdain.) Three-halfpence to pay.

Second M. M. (returning). Oh, I quite forgot—will you kindly cash this order for me?

Miss O. Not till you've signed it.

Second M. M. Bless my heart, I quite forgot it ought to be signed! Could you oblige me with a pen for one moment?

Miss O. There's a desk over there for all that.

Second M. M. I—I thought if you would let me sign it here, it would save time—the desk is occupied at present I observe.

Miss O. (dabs a pen in the inkstand, and pushes it disdainfully through the wire net-work.) Give it back when you've finished with it.

[She is apparently alarmed lest it should be secured as a Souvenir.

Enter Imperious Customer, and approaches screen with lordly air.

Imperious Customer (blusterously). Here you—one of you, let me have a penny stamp, and a packet of thin post-cards, and two half-penny wrappers, will you? and look sharp!

Miss C. and Miss O. (becoming instantly all smiles.) Certainly, Sir. (They vie with one another in activity.) Postcards in that drawer ... I'll get the wrappers—ninepence-halfpenny, Sir, and thank you. Good morning, Sir.

[Exit Imperious Stranger snatching up his purchases and ignoring parting smiles from behind the screen. Mild Men store up the lesson for use on future occasions. Scene closes in.

walrusman posted:

And why wouldn't she just wheel around and be all ARE TROOPS to the guy herself? Christ knows military families aren't shy about letting you know.

oldpainless posted:

If she was broke and had 3 kids to feed, why would she leave behind a cart full of groceries she already bought even if she was embarrassed?

an overdue owl posted:

Leon Einstein posted:

Yeah, it's a good idea to assume she has enough room for a freezer and all those groceries.

quote:

Scene—Portion of a Stationer's Shop, used as Post Office. Two Young Ladies (let them be distinguished as Miss Cross and Miss Orty) discovered behind wire-screen. At opening of scene, the public is composed exclusively of the gentler sex, and the demeanour of Miss C. and Miss O. though firm, is not positively forbidding. Lady Customers, having despatched their business move away, leaving the coast clear to three Mild Men, who advance to screen with a meekness designed to propitiate. Instant transformation in both Miss C. and Miss O., who gaze at them through screen with air of visitors at the Zoo who are not fond of animals.

Zaphod42 posted:

I can't even parse this.

It sounds like a chatbot. What the gently caress?

I'm pretty sure that was taken from a David Lynch surrealist play or something.

That gum you like is going to come back in style!

quote:

‘NO,’ yelled the man.




‘Five turkeys,’ yelled the man.

Fathis Munk posted:

It's not that incomprehensible. It's kinda written like old timey stage directions though. Also where did you get that from, or did you write it yourself as a NAW parody?

EmmyOk posted:

Not she isn't and if she were this is actually pretty sad and cowardly. Go call her a oval office to her face if you are so 'insane'

quote:

(In our Spanish class, there’s one girl that’s always loud and disrespectful to the teacher. She calls out, comments on everything, talks back, and gets kicked out of class several times. However, as class work only counts as 5% of the grade, and the girl is really smart and gets high test scores, the teacher is forced to give her As… until this happens during an exam.)

Girl: “You never told us there would be a test today! This is SO unfair!”

Teacher: “Yes, I did…”

Girl: “Uh, NO?”

Class: “Shut up already!”

(Teacher hands out tests. We work until only five minutes remain.)

Teacher: “Five minutes!”

Girl: “Oh, my god! Could you be quiet?! My parents will kill me if I fail a test!”

(The girl continues frantically working. The teacher, seeing that everyone else is done, sneaks up behind the girl’s desk and SCREAMS into her ear as loud as possible!)

Teacher: “AAAAAAAARGH!”

(The girl shrieks and falls halfway off her chair.)

Girl: “Aah! What the h***?!”

Teacher: “Oh, am I distracting you? Gee, now you must know how I feel when you run your darned mouth in my class!”

(My class is in hysterics. There’s one minute of time left, and the girl still hasn’t done three five-point questions. The teacher continues making noise, drumming on the desks, whistling, and humming loudly right next to the girl.)

Teacher: “Time’s up, everyone! Pass up your tests, please. Also, as a surprise, this test also counts three times towards your average! I hope you all did well, since it’s almost the end of the semester!”

Girl: “Noooooo! You can’t freaking do that!”

Teacher: *checks the girl’s test against his key* “Oh my, [Girl]. First a 60% on the test, and now more insubordination? HOW UNLIKE YOU. I think I’ll need to have a small meeting with your parents!”

Lowly posted:

Also, if for some reason you didn't get it, the "joke" is that the women were straight up bitches to the nice men and scrambled all over themselves to help the rear end in a top hat alpha male guy.

So like an overdue owl said, the more things change, the more they stay the same!

Testekill posted:

If that story were real then wouldn't the teacher get fired pretty quickly?

Non Serviam posted:

Since she's basically bullying and humiliating a student just because she doesn't like her? Yes. Thankfully, it's bullshit.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

A teacher verbally chastised and humiliated my sister to the point of tears in the first grade and never faced any consequences. Then again, that was almost 20 years ago (holy poo poo).