NEED TOILET PAPER posted:

Go on a diet? Pff, don't listen to those people! Everyone knows the best way to get off cheese is to eat bacon instead!

zidane13 posted:

There is a weed called cheese and it smells like cheese. But is there a cheese that smells like weed? Goons, we have a mission.

Full Battle Rattle posted:

uh, whatever cheese you think the cheese weed smells like would be that cheese

Full Battle Rattle posted:

uh, whatever cheese you think the cheese weed smells like would be that cheese

22 Eargesplitten posted:

Tcc is about parm reductions.

zidane13 posted:

There is a weed called cheese and it smells like cheese. But is there a cheese that smells like weed? Goons, we have a mission.

The White Dragon posted:

I guess you could technically make, like, some kinda weed milk and then ferment that into cheese, but feel like there's probably a much easier way to make this happen.

The White Dragon posted:

v yes, i'm the one who can teach you to turn any woman into dog

Haskell9 posted:

Last month my uncle stayed at my place for a few days and kinda quickly surfed away from a site when I walked into the room. When I checked the browser history out of curiosity I found myself logged into smartstim dot com as 'Honore de Balzap.'

StashAugustine posted:

Where was that "what the gently caress did you just say to me" Navy SEAL rant first posted?

quote:

The copypasta is believed to have originated on the military and weapons enthusiast image board Operator Chan sometime in 2010. The earliest archived posting was submitted on November 11th, 2010 to 4chan’s /jp/ (Otaku Culture) board, in which the poster claimed to have seen the message previously on Operator Chan.

kalstrams posted:

so yesterday woman, 52, in latvia jumped out of her apartment's window. she was drunk, lost her keys, and so figured that jumping out is the best way to (probably) get more poo poo to drink, thankfully, she lives on the first floor, and she wrapped herself into comforter before jumping (!), so just a broken leg

ReagaNOMNOMicks posted:

So did she buy the booze or not?

kalstrams posted:

no, shop wasn't in her landing site and she didn't get any further than that

Nidoking posted:

Trigger warning: Mind control and related topics

This post could be a bit heavy, so if you don't feel comfortable, feel free to skip it and click the video link. I'm no expert on mind control and figure someone will fill in the gaps in what I have to say, but that's the subject of the next mental world. Inside the mind of the Hideous Hulking Lungfish of Lake Oblongata, we see a stark contrast between the elements of the Lungfish's mind and the elements placed there by Coach Oleander that compel the fish to kidnap children. The atmosphere in this level is pretty humorous, like most of the rest of the game, but if you stop to think about it, it's both somber and disturbing in its imagery. We know that the Coach (or perhaps that dentist in the shower cap who's working for him) surgically implanted some kind of mind-controlling device inside the Lungfish, and also mutated its body to giant proportions. There's a lot of mind control in the media, generally in the genres of science fiction or fantasy, through advanced technology or magic. Sometimes, people are hypnotized into performing tasks for the hypnotist, but in real life, there are limits on what hypnosis can do. The person being hypnotized has to be willing, and the loss of awareness (as far as I understand the principles) is completely voluntary. Stage hypnotism, as Penn Jillette says, is an unspoken agreement between a performer and audience volunteers to entertain the rest of the audience. I don't believe it would work on me, and therefore it wouldn't. Hypnosis therapy, or regression therapy, is likewise a mutual agreement without the entertainment portion. It represents a positive step that you're taking toward a goal, which gives you a big boost in willpower to overcome whatever problem you're dealing with. (If nothing else, the money you've spent is a pretty good incentive to make sure it hasn't been wasted.) Regression is more of an implantation of memories - as I understand it, the very act of remembering something makes that memory malleable, as you essentially have to re-commit it to memory from the version you've remembered. The brain is read-once storage, in other words, and once you bring a memory into your conscious mind, it can be shaped or changed by any number of environmental factors before it's rewritten over the old copy. I don't know about anyone else, but that is a seriously scary thought, and part of why human memory is so unreliable. Having someone else rewrite those memories for you under hypnosis is even scarier, and it can make any memory they want you to have seem very real, as real as anything that's actually happened to you.

While I don't think it's possible to compel someone to take an action through purely mental means, there are many ways to control what someone will do. Threats or coercion are pretty obvious, but there are also techniques like gaslighting - leading someone to believe that their own memories are incorrect, so that they trust your version instead of what they believe. You can break someone's psyche this way, and it's horrible. I imagine that it could potentially have good uses, like causing someone to forget very unpleasant memories or remember them differently, but I don't think it works that way - you'd still have the memories as they were, but you'd doubt your own sanity and ability to recall anything correctly. I think that's worse than just dealing with the memory as-is. The mental world of the Lungfish in this game demonstrates how those mental techniques work - not directly carrying behavioral commands, but instead, subtly providing opinions that, because they're part of the Lungfish's subconscious, lead it to want to kidnap children and bring them across the lake. It's like when the stage hypnotist tells you that the shoes the person next to you is wearing are made of the most delicious chocolate in the world. He doesn't tell you to lick the shoes, but that's what you do because you believe in that moment that the chocolate is there, and you act according to the desire to eat it. It's a tiny seed of an idea that becomes the desired action, and that's much easier to implant.

I have a strong fear of losing any kind of autonomy or mental capacity - I don't drink alcohol, even in tiny amounts, nor do I have any desire to use mind-altering drugs, including anti-depressants. (I was forced to take Ritalin for hyperactivity for years when I was a child, and I believe the long-term effects may have contributed to the mental problems I suffer from now. It's impossible to say for sure.) A complete loss of control over my thoughts or actions is the scariest thing I can think of. Alzheimer's disease and even just plain senility terrify me more than I can express. I'm not even a big fan of emotions, but I don't experience those very often. When I do, I'm not very pleasant to be around. I compare myself to Dexter Morgan, only without the compulsion to kill people. If you've seen the show or read the books, you probably think that inability to understand or experience emotions is unique to psychopaths, or to serial killers, but it's really not. It's a separate thing, and that's all I'm prepared to say about it because I'm either getting out of my depth, or I'm already in way too deep.

Jimbo Jaggins posted:

Let's Play:

Uncle Wemus posted:

there are more genders than pokemon now

Jimbo Jaggins posted:

Let's Play:

Frankenstyle posted:

Dammit. Every time I get a good death boner going some bitch has to come in here crying and ruin it.

Pick posted:

Triticum Guzzler posted:

you were given the gift of perspective by having a life severely altered and potentially truncated by health issues, and still decided to waste it fighting the loving dumbest most meaningless battles possible. what's a bigger waste of life, somebody who dies trying to attempt a vainglorious physical feat, or some stupid, miserable oval office who wastes their life protesting scientology from their motorised wheelchair well into their 40s, posting about bitcoins and obsessively celebrating the deaths of others?

Quidam Viator posted:

a mosh pit filled with old chinese men all screaming gently caress YOU I WON'T poo poo WHERE YOU TELL ME

Broken Hearted posted:

That is the lie that makes incel men angry. Their are people who glide through life without ever feeling the sting of true forced lonilness, or negative sexual market place value.

Darth123123 posted:

Josef bugman posted:

I think the worst point of my posting life on SA was getting confused with Jon Pop.

I then made the mistake of looking up who he was.

syscall girl posted:

That thread

Kavak posted:

Who is he? He doesn't have an encyclopedia entry.

Kavak posted:

Who is he? He doesn't have an encyclopedia entry.

StashAugustine posted:

Guy who reregs every so often to complain that women are all racist against black guys and then gradually reveals he's a nutbag with a rape fetish.

Kavak posted:

Who is he? He doesn't have an encyclopedia entry.

Equeen posted:

I found a better quote from that thread:

No. 6 posted:

Remember the last time a group of Christians massacred a bunch of civilians only to win public praise among many high ranking officials in their church?

Agag posted:

I didn't see American Sniper.

FadedReality posted:

I'm pretty sure it's illegal for Amish to go out at night anyway.

Frostwerks posted:

Dude, it's not like they're black.

Spoeank posted:

Actually it's not demeaning at all and it teaches a lot of good skills. Like not acting like this, for example.


Case in point: my fiancee's brother acted like a massive douche bag all the time until he got a job in the real world bagging groceries and he realized you can't actually get away with acting like that for your whole life. Now he's a cool dude.

Centripetal Horse posted:

CAREER DOUCHEBAG REFORMED BY THE NOBILITY OF MINIMUM WAGE STRUGGLE

Spoeankville, April 25th -- In a tale worthy of Aesop's fables, a Spoeankville man previously known for his lovely attitude and lack of useful skills has today become a productive member of society. The man, who spoke on condition of anonymity, tells this publication that he credits the change to the time he has spent bagging groceries at a local supermarket. The man tells us that, some weeks, he is given as many as thirty hours of work, and can afford both electricity and food, although not necessarily at the same time. Although the job presents some challenges, such as not knowing which days he will be working, or for how many hours, and an expectation that he be available nearly all of the hours he doesn't work in order to satisfy the whims of his superiors, our source has maintained a positive outlook. Here's what he had to say:

"It's been a real blessing."

When asked to tell us how this experience has made him a better person, the interviewee told us, "You know, I used to be kind of a dick. I had a chip on my shoulder, and I expected things to be handed. to me. After a couple years of being at the bottom of the social, financial, and corporate pecking orders, my perspective has really changed. I think the thing that has helped the most is the constant fear. I'm always one week away from being on the streets, and my bosses know it. I know they know it, because they show it in little ways. Like, they constantly remind me how replaceable I am, and that I have virtually no job security or legal protection of any kind. They make it clear that I am barely human by constantly changing my shifts and hours, deriding my work, and instituting insulting and ever-changing policies. There's really nothing like the specter of homelessness and poverty to motivate you to shut up and do what you're told. Also, the constant abuse from our patrons has been a big factor. I am proud to say that this job has shaped me, the way you shape a piece of steak by pounding on it, and pounding on it, and pounding on it with a steel mallet, until all the connective tissue is broken down and there's nothing left but a limp and pliable slab of meat.

Our anonymous source tells us that those aren't the only benefits to the time he's spent sacking wine and chicken nuggets for suburban housewives. "I'm learning valuable skills. For instance, I used to put canned goods in with the bread. Now, I know not to put canned goods in with the bread. It's that sort of real-world-applicable knowledge that's going to help me get ahead in life. Sure, I'm up early, and asleep late, and I struggle to make ends meet, and there's no hope of advancement within my company, but it's all worthwhile, because 'grocery bagger' looks amazing on a resume. Hiring managers know that bagging groceries teaches important skills that can be applied to any job. They know I won't put canned goods in with the bread. They know I've spent hours standing at the end of a conveyor belt while customers argue with cashiers over expired ten-cents-off coupons for Fancy Feast. When a potential employer sees that I spent time doing this job, he knows I am a piece of steak that has already been tenderized by life. They respect that."

When asked what career he hopes to transfer into with his new-found skills and improved personality, he told us:

"My first choice is research chemist. If that doesn't work out, maybe astronaut. I have some resumes out, but I haven't heard back yet."

We can only hope that more of today's youth embrace the experience of drudgery and low pay, for the bagger of today is the moon-man of tomorrow.