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If you think girls are sexy, you're actually gay.
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# ? May 3, 2015 21:30 |
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# ? May 28, 2024 12:55 |
You called me an rear end in a top hat? Well a hole is not a physical thing so you didn't call me anything.
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# ? May 3, 2015 21:35 |
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ibntumart posted:shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: Obviously, this child needed to re-read Sun Tzu.
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# ? May 3, 2015 21:57 |
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System Metternich posted:lol that's got to be the weakest burn I've ever heard. It's not even a burn, it's a "caused an awkward flirting attempt to become even more awkward then they realized my brain was broken."
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# ? May 3, 2015 22:36 |
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System Metternich posted:lol that's got to be the weakest burn I've ever heard. It's like those convoluted comebacks kids make up to say to each other on the playground that just make you more likely to get picked on
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# ? May 3, 2015 23:24 |
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ThatPazuzu posted:If you think girls are sexy, you're actually gay. Half gay.
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# ? May 3, 2015 23:25 |
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Shintaro posted:It's not even a burn, it's a "caused an awkward flirting attempt to become even more awkward then they realized my brain was broken." If you think staring at a girl's legs and muttering "sexy" is a flirting attempt, I may have some advice about why you're single.
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# ? May 3, 2015 23:26 |
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We both know that it really depends on how attractive the mutteter is. A typical goon doing it is creepy, but of course it was actually charming when [popular movie star] walked into the [chain gourmet coffee house] that I'm a [job position] at and [romantic social interaction] me
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# ? May 3, 2015 23:49 |
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Besesoth posted:If you think staring at a girl's legs and muttering "sexy" is a flirting attempt, I may have some advice about why you're single. They did say "awkward attempt at," not "understandable and possibly successful maneuver"
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# ? May 3, 2015 23:53 |
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Amanda Platell at the Daily Mail has met some real votersquote:A reader stopped me in the street this week. ‘I’m frightened,’ she said, grabbing hold of my arm, ‘of what will happen to my children and grandchildren if Ed Miliband wins.’
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# ? May 3, 2015 23:55 |
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Besesoth posted:If you think staring at a girl's legs and muttering "sexy" is a flirting attempt, I may have some advice about why you're single. beep boop flirting? does not parse, error 10010101
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# ? May 4, 2015 00:35 |
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Weatherman posted:beep boop flirting? does not parse, error 10010101 beep beep boop flirt failed boop replace fedora quote:Holy Awesome Girlfriend!
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# ? May 4, 2015 09:51 |
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The most boring couple.
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# ? May 4, 2015 10:30 |
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My definition of "sexy":
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# ? May 4, 2015 10:58 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Friend: “Keep. Her.” Away. From. Me.
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# ? May 4, 2015 11:06 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sO08omE7SA This ad played before the new Avengers movie in Australia. It invokes imagery of a war that's having a centenary, then uses that to sell a lovely local beer. I was exhausted and had no filter so I yelled 'oh gently caress off!' as the beer logo appeared. Apparently my sentiment was not unique as a number of people actually did laugh, cheer or applaud. It lasted two seconds and was not the highlight of my week, but it happened. I had a stdh moment irl and I don't know how to feel.
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# ? May 4, 2015 13:10 |
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Buh posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sO08omE7SA
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# ? May 4, 2015 13:21 |
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Buh posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sO08omE7SA Huh, I didn't know you were Australian Mr. Einstein.
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# ? May 4, 2015 14:29 |
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we, the perfect couple, are united by our refusal to consume any media that is not animated and mostly for children and totally have a friend who was hanging out with us
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# ? May 4, 2015 16:04 |
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:we, the perfect couple, are united by our refusal to consume any media that is not animated and mostly for children and totally have a friend who was hanging out with us The friend was a headmate in the shared system that proves their love?
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# ? May 4, 2015 17:39 |
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My friend linked me this: http://imgur.com/gallery/ZgufJ Text dump minus macros: quote:Background: tl;dr: Self-fellating bank manager makes money downloading torrents of porn off Kazaa and selling them as $8 CDs, police find 'a few suspicious child porn images' and he gets probation and goes to jail where he learns to barrel roll off balconies. Reddit-lite gives this brave Pizza Hut superstar upboats.
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# ? May 5, 2015 05:29 |
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I can't tell you how badly I need an add-on for my browser that disables Imgur's loving horrid trending garbage. What a rancid hugbox.
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# ? May 5, 2015 05:40 |
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MONKET posted:I can't tell you how badly I need an add-on for my browser that disables Imgur's loving horrid trending garbage. What a rancid hugbox. A workaround is to create a user account, keep it logged in and have your bookmarked imgur link go to http://imgur.com/filtered/viral Without being logged in though, the link will just redirect you to what's ~trending~
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# ? May 5, 2015 05:53 |
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Trans haters are so cisparent.
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# ? May 5, 2015 06:03 |
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Themata posted:A workaround is to create a user account, keep it logged in and have your bookmarked imgur link go to http://imgur.com/filtered/viral You're a godsend. Now I know how it feels like when deaf people hear for the first time. Pidmon posted:
ah yes, the Transmobile Squad, terrible pillagers they be
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# ? May 5, 2015 06:34 |
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Besesoth posted:Oh man, are you in for a treat. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3470495
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# ? May 5, 2015 07:23 |
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Pidmon posted:
Is he saying they were attacked for being cis? How the hell would people in a bus know? Did they just cruise around until they saw a cis couple, demand the bus stop, then pile out in Rottweiler formation? Did they hire a bus just so they could attack random cis people without having their license plates checked? Were any fedoras or katanas hurt in the melee?
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# ? May 5, 2015 07:54 |
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Anyone had that story pop up on their facebook about the kid borrowing $50 dollars from his dad? I'm on my works computer, so can't copy paste it to capture the full "poo poo that didn't happen" feel to it, but it's basically; Kid asks his Da how much he earns an hour. Dad gets pissy about such a personal question, but tell the kid he makes one hundred bucks an hour. Kid then asks to borrow 50. Da gets pissy because he thinks the kid only asked how much he earns an hour so he could determine how much to beg for. So the kid gets sent to his room but all the while is talking like a 50 year old man, y'know, how these STDH stories are worded. Dad pops in the give the kid the money anyway, because of reasons. The kid immediately pulls out another 50 dollars he had under his pillow. Da is once again furious. Kid says, "Father, I asked for fifty dollars to add to this pocket money I've been saving. So if I give you this 100 dollars can I buy an hour of your time this Friday so we can spend some quality time together?" Cue a million bawling babies fawning over this brave child who doesn't exist. I mean obviously it didn't happen and obviously someone wrote it to try and get a message across or some bollocks, but people were buying into this verbose child with a firm grasp on economics so I figure it's prime for this thread.
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# ? May 5, 2015 13:03 |
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Themata posted:My friend linked me this: He was selling 25 porn disks a week in 2004? And do you just get off the list after a period of time like he says? I thought it was a for life kind of deal. Trying to find answers online one of the websites was called "freerangekids.com" yeah I didn't click that one. E: it just occurred to me that he would have been charged with distributing, which then would make the prison part make more sense than just going for 8 "accidental" images. And would make sense that it's $8/disk if it was hard-to-obtain child porn... Thin Privilege has a new favorite as of 13:29 on May 5, 2015 |
# ? May 5, 2015 13:16 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Is he saying they were attacked for being cis? How the hell would people in a bus know? Did they just cruise around until they saw a cis couple, demand the bus stop, then pile out in Rottweiler formation? Did they hire a bus just so they could attack random cis people without having their license plates checked? Were any fedoras or katanas hurt in the melee?
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# ? May 5, 2015 13:20 |
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Oh, so this is where the TV tropes thread slithered off to. Hooray! Makes sense as half of those awful tales are mostly to prevent them from slitting their own wrists.
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# ? May 5, 2015 13:28 |
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Thin Privilege posted:And do you just get off the list after a period of time like he says? I thought it was a for life kind of deal. Depends on the crime/plea-bargain/judge's-mood, but yes, fixed term entries on the list are a thing, as are 'for life'
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# ? May 5, 2015 13:32 |
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I know "it's a joke," but framing it as a text message is unreasonably grating.
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# ? May 5, 2015 13:55 |
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Themata posted:My friend linked me this: "Only" a compound fracture. I love when they don't even do a two second Google search of the terms they use.
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# ? May 5, 2015 14:27 |
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Ratspeaker posted:
Oh fruit of my loins, explusion and ruining your life means nothing when you harbour such wit. Sincerely, your Dad, Josh Whedon.
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# ? May 5, 2015 14:54 |
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Ratspeaker posted:
I also like that the texts from the dad are being send to a contact named "Dad". Put some effort in your fakes dammit!
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# ? May 5, 2015 15:01 |
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Shai-Hulud posted:I also like that the texts from the dad are being send to a contact named "Dad". Put some effort in your fakes dammit! No the sides make sense I think, green is the OP messaging contact called Dad.
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# ? May 5, 2015 15:41 |
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quote:
Definitely more than a few stdh in this treasure trove http://gizmodo.com/in-the-shower-eating-cherries-and-more-tales-of-night-1702059866 Edit: That'll teach me for posting before getting to the final goldmine post: quote:I was working as a front line customer service representative at a company we’ll call BA (a telecom in Eastern Canada) in 2013. As front line it was my job to do sales, billing, inquiries, retention and tech support, basically a bit of everything. If I couldn’t resolve the problem, then you’d get sent off to someone who worked in that department. One day I received a call from an older gentleman saying that his internet was no longer working. I jumped into my programs and checked everything on his account that would normally cause an internet outage. Everything checked out on my system, but I saw that he just switched to our new FibreOp fibre network from copper, so I figured I’d ask him some questions about his router in hopes that we didn’t mess up the install. When I asked him if he was getting any signal on his laptop, he said “No, I’m using a desktop, I’ve just got it plugged in”. So then I asked him what lights were illuminated on the router. He had no clue what I was talking about, and eventually said “There’s no lights, it’s just plugged into the phone jack”. MikeCrotch has a new favorite as of 17:21 on May 5, 2015 |
# ? May 5, 2015 17:17 |
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How has no one shared this gem yet? Floating around Facebook. http://imgur.com/Pbe5kcF
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:27 |
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# ? May 28, 2024 12:55 |
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Themata posted:My friend linked me this: What a load of bullshit. Typical STDH awkward stilted writing style. quote:When I got to my home prison, I quickly learned to fight. I was in the hospital three times. Twice for being stabbed and once for being pushed off of a second tier balcony when I wasn't paying attention. I caught myself and spun upright. When I landed, I was able to partially roll and only got a compound fracture of the ulna and radius of my left arm Good thing this bank manager does parkour or he could have seriously injured his ulna and radius quote:My conviction was outside of the time period asked on the application, but the district manager said that they couldn't afford to have anyone on Megan's List working in their restaurants. After I was off the list, they would definitely rehire me, however. I was arrested for child porn and nobody would hire me. This cracked me up.
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# ? May 5, 2015 17:37 |