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You're going to look back on that place in a few months and wonder why you ever cared so much about Goobertron.
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May 7, 2015 02:02
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C-Euro posted:You really can spend a lot of time dicking around at work if you know how to be efficient when you are in "work mode" and you know how to prioritize well. One of our tools poo poo the bed today and required manual verification of about 350 entries. It became my side project of the day, and my management thanked me for my hard work and diligence in getting the whole thing done across three hours. What they don't know is that I spent about 30 minutes of those three hours actually working, and the other two and a half dicking around on the internet. I found towards the end that our adorable little temp was actually trying to help me with it, and proved to be so slow and inefficient at it that I didn't even notice. Though to his credit, it was good practice for him and he's grand spanking new. I've done these thousands of times so I know where to cut corners and how to take care of 40 entries at once, but I wouldn't expect a new guy to pull off something like that. In fact, I wouldn't want a newbie to even try.
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May 7, 2015 02:05
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Joementum posted:You're going to look back on that place in a few months and wonder why you ever cared so much about Goobertron. While you're almost certainly correct, in a weird way I will miss him too, mostly because he's the first person I've come across in life who I've been able to truly alpha-male. Also he's dependable as long as it's nothing time-sensitive.
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May 7, 2015 03:55
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mastershakeman posted:Link? https://hbr.org/2015/04/why-some-men-pretend-to-work-80-hour-weeks quote:One man who passed was Lloyd (a pseudonym), a Senior Manager. Lloyd was deeply skeptical about the necessity of being an ideal worker, and was unwilling to fully comply with this expectation. He described to me how, by using local clients, telecommuting, and controlling information about his whereabouts, he found ways to work and travel less, without being found out. He told me: “I skied five days last week. I took calls in the morning and in the evening but I was able to be there for my son when he needed me to be, and I was able to ski five days in a row.” He clarified that these were work days, not vacation days: “No, no one knows where I am…. Those boundaries are only practical with my local client base.… Especially because we’re mobile, there are no boundaries.” Despite his deviance from the ideal worker expectation, however, senior colleagues viewed him as a star; indeed, one Partner described him to me as a “rising star,” who worked “much harder than” he himself did. This assessment—in combination with Lloyd’s top performance rating and his promotion to Partner that year—suggests he had successfully passed in the eyes of senior members of the firm as an ideal worker.
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May 7, 2015 10:42
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News of the day: Every meeting now requires a minute-taker, who will upload a powerpoint of meeting minutes into our Secure Communication Repository. All meetings constitute binding, formal communication now, and the "path forward" slide in the minutes will be a binding agreement for all parties. I foresee my calendar going WIIIIIDE OPEN for the foreseeable future as I decline any and all meetings now. 
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May 7, 2015 14:27
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Sundae posted:News of the day: Every meeting now requires a minute-taker, who will upload a powerpoint of meeting minutes into our Secure Communication Repository. All meetings constitute binding, formal communication now, and the "path forward" slide in the minutes will be a binding agreement for all parties. You're missing an opportunity here. Volunteer to be the minute-taker just once, and slip "AND ALSO SUNDAE IS TO BE LET OUT OF ANY OBLIGATION TO REPAY HIS RELOCATION ALLOWANCE IF HE QUITS" into the "path forward" slide. Or get even wilder, and wait for the news stories about your company declaring war on Carthage to roll in.
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May 7, 2015 14:31
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docbeard posted:You're missing an opportunity here. Volunteer to be the minute-taker just once, and slip "AND ALSO SUNDAE IS TO BE LET OUT OF ANY OBLIGATION TO REPAY HIS RELOCATION ALLOWANCE IF HE QUITS" into the "path forward" slide. Do it Sundae, and add piece of your erotic novels to the slides. Make the first Monday of the month Thong Monday, and Friday's Frozen Drink days.
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May 7, 2015 17:58
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:So I've been spending a lot of time at work just dicking around pretending to be busy 'cause I've got jack poo poo to do. Yesterday I was called into a meeting with both my bosses and was like "oh poo poo they're going to terminate my contract" It really is kind of sad how true to life Office Space is. I've spent the better part of six months slacking and not doing a whole lot, simply because my boss seems to think that a bi-weekly twenty minute meeting needs ALL my focus. I guess I've been doing a good enough job at running those meetings though, because while everyone else is getting laid off, I'm just sitting here twiddling my thumbs with a promotion... Keep up the good slacking, I guess?
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May 7, 2015 18:33
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Ashcans posted:Here is my list of guesses:  Gin_Rummy posted:I guess I've been doing a good enough job at running those meetings though, because while everyone else is getting laid off, I'm just sitting here twiddling my thumbs with a promotion... Being in at 8AM and out at 5PM on the button means you do the bare minimum in a day. Bob over there, well hes here at 7:30AM and stays until 6PM! Bob goes that extra mile (ignore that less work gets done)! Couple pages back in the thread, there was someone in that almost exactly that position. Perception is everything.
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May 7, 2015 18:45
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It's just like dating. Aloofness is more attractive than desperation.
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May 7, 2015 18:45
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Sometimes it helps just to look annoyed
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May 7, 2015 19:10
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So my manager just completely rolled over to sales and gave me an overly complicated quote for tomorrow when I'm working from home. Its also my birthday and she described it as a great "birthday present". Thanks for making me have to go through this bullshit with the cuntiest account manager boss
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May 7, 2015 20:17
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The other day a woman from Operations ran up to my cube and said "there's a virus on my computer, come take care of it now." I told her that she should ask her manager to send the request to the ITIssues@companyname.com group so that we could officially track the problem. She got annoyed and told me that her computer wasn't functional so how would she send the email? I repeated that she should ask her manager to do it (that is already the procedure.) she begged me to just fix the drat computer already and I told her I wouldn't be able to do much because I don't have the systems admin password. Since then she's been giving me the silent treatment. Like I'd come into the breakroom and be like "good morning" and she'd roll her eyes (we had some rapport before so this is new.) Guess she thought I was being deliberately unhelpful. It kind of cracks me up. While writing that I realized that it might have been some kind of porn virus or other indicator of naughty work behavior, which might explain her desperation. I guess I'll never know.
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May 7, 2015 21:12
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Also leave your car in the parking lot overnight so it looks like you're the first one in and the last to leave
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May 7, 2015 21:34
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ladyweapon posted:Being in at 8AM and out at 5PM on the button means you do the bare minimum in a day. Stop triggering me. Literally what my old boss used to say to me, while conveniently ignoring the weekends that I had come in to get things done ahead of deadlines (I didn't do any more weekends after he started up with that, though).
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May 7, 2015 22:31
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ladyweapon posted:Being in at 8AM and out at 5PM on the button means you do the bare minimum in a day. Heh. Not only do I get that grief, but I'm also hourly and expressly forbidden to work any overtime whatsoever.
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May 7, 2015 22:33
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ladyweapon posted:No option for "typo'd the email address"? I may have done this recently, but in my defense their email address is seemingly random letters equivalent to gkpqfs@google.com and I had actually never e-mailed this person before. A phone call fixed it, but I still felt dumb. I love working for the government as working more then you need to is considered crazy and unnecessary.
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May 7, 2015 23:04
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ladyweapon posted:Being in at 8AM and out at 5PM on the button means you do the bare minimum in a day. Bob over there, well hes here at 7:30AM and stays until 6PM! Bob goes that extra mile (ignore that less work gets done)! Couple pages back in the thread, there was someone in that almost exactly that position. Perception is everything. Che Delilas posted:Stop triggering me. sbaldrick posted:I love working for the government as working more then you need to is considered crazy and unnecessary. I do/have been doing that for a few years now. I used to work 9-6 "to have standard PST hours" and eventually said "gently caress that" to that extra hour and started leaving at 5. I also then started taking one hour lunches away from my desk. I recently received a positive performance review, a bonus, a raise, and am up for a promotion. I still don't really care much and I've had phonescreens lined up at the same time. Maybe I should write a book about this. ex post facho fucked around with this message at 23:33 on May 7, 2015 |
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May 7, 2015 23:30
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A how-to manual, ideally.
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May 7, 2015 23:33
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Whoever it was that said aloofness is more attractive couldn't be more right. That, or maybe our employers know we are all looking for other jobs and they're just proactive about trying to make us happy so we won't leave?
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May 7, 2015 23:50
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Gin_Rummy posted:Whoever it was that said aloofness is more attractive couldn't be more right. That, or maybe our employers know we are all looking for other jobs and they're just proactive about trying to make us happy so we won't leave? This is truer now than it was between 2008-2013. Back then I felt loving lucky to even have a job making 40% of what I am now. Still, the general rule applies that the less you care (while still performing your essential job duties) and the fewer things you "volunteer" for (special projects, extra hours, etc.) the more likely you are to be viewed as An Important Person Who Does Their Job Well. It seems completely counterintuitive, yes, but for evidence, well...the last few hundred pages of this thread.
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May 7, 2015 23:58
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a shameful boehner posted:I do/have been doing that for a few years now. I used to work 9-6 "to have standard PST hours" and eventually said "gently caress that" to that extra hour and started leaving at 5. I also then started taking one hour lunches away from my desk. I work very little outside those hours now. We're getting a temp or hiring someone at some point this year and I told my boss I'm not going to overextend myself to make it clear how much we need someone. I'm first in and last out as it stands.  I'm probably going to be interacting with customs regarding documentation compliance soon. I imagine that will be amazing. ladyweapon fucked around with this message at 00:33 on May 8, 2015 |
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May 8, 2015 00:30
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Gin_Rummy posted:It really is kind of sad how true to life Office Space is. I've spent the better part of six months slacking and not doing a whole lot, simply because my boss seems to think that a bi-weekly twenty minute meeting needs ALL my focus. I guess I've been doing a good enough job at running those meetings though, because while everyone else is getting laid off, I'm just sitting here twiddling my thumbs with a promotion... This is basically me, aside from the running the meetings part. I've basically spent an entire month doing little else than attending meetings and otherwise ignoring every obligation. This week I took two days of PTO and finished everything I said I'd been working on for the last month in two days, and went home with no regrets. See you on Monday, I guess.  I just got offered a position there as I was leaving for my PTO. I'm a contractor.
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May 8, 2015 00:51
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ladyweapon posted:Being in at 8AM and out at 5PM on the button means you do the bare minimum in a day. If the bare minimum wasn't acceptable, then it wouldn't be the bare minimum. 
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May 8, 2015 00:55
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ladyweapon posted:Being in at 8AM and out at 5PM on the button means you do the bare minimum in a day. Bob over there, well hes here at 7:30AM and stays until 6PM! Bob goes that extra mile (ignore that less work gets done)! Couple pages back in the thread, there was someone in that almost exactly that position. Perception is everything. Solution is simply to make the people that matter happy and gently caress the rest of em. That is usually, when you really boil it down, only one or two people. Be a superstar to them and they'll tell everyone else that matters that you're awesome. e: https://hbr.org/2015/04/why-some-men-pretend-to-work-80-hour-weeks
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May 8, 2015 00:57
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a shameful boehner posted:Still, the general rule applies that the less you care (while still performing your essential job duties) and the fewer things you "volunteer" for (special projects, extra hours, etc.) the more likely you are to be viewed as An Important Person Who Does Their Job Well. Eh, I don't know if I support that 100%. Part of the reputation I have at my current employer is built on branching out beyond my department and showing I can do much more than just what's in my job description. There are a couple technicalities, namely that none of these extracurriculars were passed down from my direct supervisors, and in fact I am extremely over-qualified my role in the company if you go by what was on my original offer letter (in fact none of the extras I do benefit my department in any direct fashion). Because my supervisors have set the bar so low and I'm clearing it blindfolded, they see me as An Important Person Who Does Their Job Well. But because I have this extra time to work on other stuff that develops my work skills, people outside my department see me as An Important Person Who Does Their Job Well too, where I would otherwise be slaving away in anonymity like most other people in my lab. Hell, I even have a one-on-one pre-exit interview with our company's president tomorrow, and it's not the first time I've met in a small group with him. I've only be an actual employee of this place for 15 months, how often do entry-level peons in their first post-school job get invited to meet individually with a corporate prez? If you want to really foster your reputation and work skills (and pad your resume), I think it's acceptable to look for extra opportunities to set yourself apart from the pack. Though you'd be wise to choose things that will expand skillsets that you wouldn't otherwise develop in your daily work, and to not take on so much that the quality of your work suffers on any front.
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May 8, 2015 01:35
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but this stellar reputation you've cultivated has so far resulted in a 35¢ per hour raise, more work, and not even s promotion, but an interview to discuss a possible promotion (after your company has been hemorrhaging employees consistently)? Also....I met several VPs as well as the controller and every regional director for my first out-of-undergrad real job, too, and a VP in several subsequent ones. I'm really not trying to be mean, but unless you're talking a huge megacorp, I'm not sure this is as big an honor as your company may have convinced you.
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May 8, 2015 02:16
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The president of the company calls me by my first name. I've had lunch with VP's multiple times. poo poo I had dinner with the CEO once at a company function. Nobody gives a gently caress.
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May 8, 2015 02:31
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ibntumart posted:Correct me if I'm wrong, but this stellar reputation you've cultivated has so far resulted in a 35¢ per hour raise, more work, and not even s promotion, but an interview to discuss a possible promotion (after your company has been hemorrhaging employees consistently)? I'm doing a hell of a lot better than anyone else on my level at this company, most employees didn't even get a raise for 2014 (which led to the hemorrhaging) and within my department I don't actually have more work to do. Also I get paid extra for some of the extra project work I do since it's supposed to be a "volunteer service" done on our own time (but I cheat and constantly do it while on the clock). I'll concede that I am pissed that I didn't come up for promotion sooner, but my company's MO is that useful promotions and changes come slowly. The one guy in my lab who is better than I am at our job took two years to get promoted, and that was with prior work experience. Me getting interviewed for a promotion after a year and half here is expected but disappointing, especially since my boss was alluding to this a month ago. After a certain point, maintaining a good rep here stopped being in service of moving up and started being in service of making a good first impression elsewhere. Even before this move came up I've known that I have no future here, but what I have been able to get done here is going to help me get a job where I'm going next. I've had multiple people here offer to put me in contact with people they know where I'm going, including my department head who is super well-connected in my industry. I dunno, I think the extra stuff I've done has been useful, but not useful for where I'm working right now. I knew going into this job it was going to be a stepping stone, and that they were going to get way more value from me than what they were paying for me, so I had to get as much other value out of them as I could.
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May 8, 2015 02:44
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Beyond having a couple good references or adding some lines to your resume no one is really gonna give a poo poo what your old company thought about you, they're going to verify you worked there from x to y dates, call a couple references and that's basically it. I think a lot of people overestimate how important some of the poo poo they did at their current job will help at their new job. Choose your battles, prioritize things you can use to make yourself look good later over things that actually benefit your employer. Don't work too hard because you don't owe your current job poo poo over what you're supposed to be doing. Extract maximum compensation for minimum work, don't be a sucker.
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May 8, 2015 03:32
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Gin_Rummy posted:Whoever it was that said aloofness is more attractive couldn't be more right. That, or maybe our employers know we are all looking for other jobs and they're just proactive about trying to make us happy so we won't leave? I seem to have a resting bitch face and I'm generally a fairly quiet person who isn't a social butterfly. This has somehow gained me the reputation of being really busy all the time and therefore a real hard worker which couldn't be farther from the truth but I'm rolling with it. Also I leave at exactly 8 hours because I value having a work/life balance and none of what I do is really super ultra important so it can wait till the morning if I don't get to it before quitting time.
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May 8, 2015 04:03
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:I seem to have a resting bitch face and I'm generally a fairly quiet person who isn't a social butterfly. This has somehow gained me the reputation of being really busy all the time and therefore a real hard worker which couldn't be farther from the truth but I'm rolling with it. When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.
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May 8, 2015 04:44
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I gave my two weeks' notice last Wednesday. My boss and his boss met with me a few times to try to get me to stay with the company, but I wasn't interested. Once my departure was set, I asked my boss (this was two days ago) about how to inform the rest of our small team, sales representatives, etc. (as if all the closed-door meetings haven't been enough of a giveaway). I also want to inform my customers to give them a bit of a heads-up. He put it off, then called me into a meeting on Wednesday afternoon to say he wanted to have someone new in place before announcing it. Knowing this company, this probably won't happen until Monday, if it happens at all before I leave. Monday would be two days before my last day. So yesterday afternoon, he emails our team asking everyone to make time for a team lunch next Tuesday. We only do this when someone's leaving. They know this. Has anyone else's boss managed an exit this haphazardly? This guy is great, but this sort of  management style is part of the reason why staying isn't appealing.
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May 8, 2015 05:56
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potee posted:If the bare minimum wasn't acceptable, then it wouldn't be the bare minimum. It is only the bare minimum in general. Certain jobs' bare minimum is much higher than this norm.
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May 8, 2015 09:13
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Coming up towards the end of my job here - my contract finishes in about 7 weeks time. There may be the possibility of extension (people seem to be assuming that I'm going to be around forever) but this work is killing me. I've got a host of technical and analytical skills, but mostly I spend my time handling help requests like "I've forgotten my password" and "The system has crashed!" (No it hasn't - you just can't read a dialog box), all of which are delivered as "this is super urgent critical, you have to drop everything now and help me". I'd hoped to migrate away from this, or educate the users into greater self-sufficiency, but it just hasn't happened and there's not the political will higher-up to force them to learn. So the important (and interesting) work keeps getting put aside for these stupid "urgent" ones. I'm beginning to dream of unemployment but (for various external uncontrollable reasons), I've got drat little financial buffer.
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May 8, 2015 10:31
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I called out today because I couldn't bear the thought of having a full day of NOTHING again. Going to spend the day job searching instead. I already got a contract extension (met with "why the hell did they do that? No ones got any work to do!" by my fellow coworkers, thanks guys) but if business doesn't pick up soon I'm out.
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May 8, 2015 12:26
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Anecdotally, over the course of two companies and nearly two decades of experience I can confirm this works. However, the article does bring up something new to me that seems outside the scope of this thread: male leave for having a child. My wife is having our first child later this year and I'm trying to discover "best practices" for taking time off as a telecommuter. Is there another thread or online resource that discusses this?
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May 8, 2015 12:47
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Cup of Hemlock posted:I gave my two weeks' notice last Wednesday. My boss and his boss met with me a few times to try to get me to stay with the company, but I wasn't interested. We had a director leave recently and gave 4 weeks. It took 4 week's of management's hand wringing to make a decision between two candidates, neither of whom were qualified for the position. At the end of the day, one of them was promoted, and the one that was passed over has to work for the newly promoted guy. After having gone through that process myself, it is a pretty big gently caress you.
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May 8, 2015 14:28
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Working from home today I discovered my work are so cheap that my laptop doesn't even have a number pad. 70% of my job is entering numbers. Going to be a good day.
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May 8, 2015 14:33
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Today is innovation day at work, which is somewhat exciting.
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