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Just remember, praise effort, not ability/intelligence.
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May 8, 2015 13:06
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His Divine Shadow posted:Just remember, praise effort, not ability/intelligence. Oh, we're well used to that already.
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May 8, 2015 13:17
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What's the general recommendation on traveling on a plane with a two-year-old. Is it worth it to bring the car seat or just stick them in their own seat and give them a few books and some toys to entertain themselves for the 90 minute flight (if she doesn't already pass out because it will be about her bedtime).
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May 8, 2015 13:48
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I don't think I've ever seen anyone bring a car seat on a plane. Toddler-stage kids sit in their own seats with some interludes on their parents' laps, etc. Better be prepared to spend some time entertaining her.
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May 8, 2015 14:14
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His Divine Shadow posted:Just remember, praise effort, not ability/intelligence. Also assuming he won't be going to a high end private school, find ways to gve him additional work/challenges. You know what sucks about being smart? Having no work ethic to match it when the going gets tough. I suspect a lot of fairly smart people fall flat on their face when faced with real challenges, because the first 16-20 years of life were basically EZ mode.
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May 8, 2015 14:31
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jassi007 posted:I suspect a lot of fairly smart people fall flat on their face when faced with real challenges, because the first 16-20 years of life were basically EZ mode. Actually both myself and my wife shared that experience to some degree, so we're kind of wary of that possibility already.
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May 8, 2015 14:34
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Groke posted:I don't think I've ever seen anyone bring a car seat on a plane. Toddler-stage kids sit in their own seats with some interludes on their parents' laps, etc. Better be prepared to spend some time entertaining her. I have. It's the FAA recommendation, I believe. It is also a giant pain in the rear end. We just checked the drat things and let him squirm in his own seat.
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May 8, 2015 15:06
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sullat posted:I have. It's the FAA recommendation, I believe. Well, I've also not flown with a US airline since 1990, nor into or out of the USA since 1995. So I'm prepared to belive that common practices may be different there.
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May 8, 2015 15:27
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sullat posted:I find it helpful dealing with irate customers. Calms them down or throws them off. Either way. Yeah I shouldn't throw shade on Daniel Tiger because we've applied that counting to four thing to any meltdown, even if Sydney isn't mad per se, and it works really well.
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May 8, 2015 17:11
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notwithoutmyanus posted:Our 4 month old is happy to play in front of the mirror or tummy time by herself for a limited amount of time. Great! You are right on track to avoid the baby furniture. From a developmental perspective, the floor or your arms/carrier is the best place for a baby. There's a great book called Retro Baby that goes into all the reasons why much of what is marketed for babies is actually not great for their development (I'm looking at you bumbo and every flashy light toy). It also has recommendations for what is good/useful and activities to support development. It's published by the American Academy of Pediatrics. http://www.amazon.com/Retro-Baby-De...ords=retro+baby Here's a great list of developmentally supportive toys for the first year http://mamaot.com/2012/07/09/15-toys-for-babys-first-year/ If you need a place to set baby or want to let her sit up, I would go with the Baby Bjorn Bouncer http://www.amazon.com/BABYBJORN-Bou...rn+bouncer+mesh . It allows the baby to move freely in the seat, controlling her own movement and using/strengthening muscles. It also has great long-term use and versatility (my personal requirements for baby gear). It can be used through toddlerhood (my 1 year-old loves it), It has 3 reclines so can be used as a portable napper (was great last summer at the lake when he was 3-5 months old). It also folds flat. It is pricey, but considering it will last years instead of months I think it is worth it. I got mine on craig's list for half price and will probably be able to sell it for the same amount when my guy outgrows it. We got this toy to attach to the bouncer for some play time and to encourage arm reach. We now have it on the changing table. It can attach to pretty much anything. http://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Love-Stroll-Princess-Butterfly/dp/B005VDX3ZK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431101424&sr=8-1&keywords=tiny+love+stroller To encourage development from tummy play to side play to sitting then standing, I highly recommend a play cube. I picked this one bc it had a lot of variety in terms of fine motor development and still had some usability for the very young (my little guy loved it at 3 months and still loves it at 13 months). A play table can be used to the same effect if turned on its side or used with the legs off (see the mama ot link above). I got a great one at a thrift store that is no longer made, but you want to look for one that would still be interesting without the batteries (i.e. the cause and effect is dependent on actual manipulation and not just pressing buttons). If I had to purchase new I would have bought this one http://www.amazon.com/Bright-Starts-Having-Rollin-Activity/dp/B005J58CV0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431101062&sr=8-1&keywords=play+table The best thing ever is an exercise ball. http://mamaot.com/2012/09/30/how-to-play-with-your-baby-on-an-exercise-ball/ And last, a simple tray that you put 3-4 household objects on for her to explore. Change it up every 2 weeks or so. Pick objects with different textures like a wooden brush, a metal spoon, a soft cloth, etc. Keep the tray on the floor so she can grab things herself and explore on her own. Really, you don't need much. With babies less is more.
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May 8, 2015 17:28
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sullat posted:I have. It's the FAA recommendation, I believe. It is also a giant pain in the rear end. We just checked the drat things and let him squirm in his own seat. I have also done it. We did longer flights, but it's functionally the same thing. The kid is old enough to require you to buy them a seat anyway, and you're going to need the carseat on the other end when you arrive. I figured we were better off installing it on the plane than checking it or gate-checking it and risking unknown damage to it in that process. The real pain in the rear end was carrying it through the airport for layovers, but it's doable (I brought a GoGoBabyz cart, you strap the carseat to it and it turns it into a "stroller"). Besides, my kid was still a squirmy bastard at that age, the carseat was familiar to him so he was less flail-y. Fionnoula fucked around with this message at 18:19 on May 8, 2015 |
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May 8, 2015 18:15
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momtartin posted:What's the general recommendation on traveling on a plane with a two-year-old. Is it worth it to bring the car seat or just stick them in their own seat and give them a few books and some toys to entertain themselves for the 90 minute flight (if she doesn't already pass out because it will be about her bedtime). Use the car seat, absolutely. This always ends up as an awful flaming derail though so look through the thread for this discussion before.
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May 8, 2015 18:39
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Car seat flies free and you're going to need it at your destination anyway.
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May 8, 2015 18:58
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momtartin posted:What's the general recommendation on traveling on a plane with a two-year-old. Is it worth it to bring the car seat or just stick them in their own seat and give them a few books and some toys to entertain themselves for the 90 minute flight (if she doesn't already pass out because it will be about her bedtime). We've flown with our 3yo son on 11- and 5-hours flights several times now (since he's been 4 months old!). We've never brought the car seat on the plane; we asked and the airlines (KLM and Air Canada) did not let us, the stroller and car seat traveled free in checked luggage though, and they're put through the "fragile" drop-off. Regarding entertainment. When he was 2 years old I took him alone on a 5-hour flight. A few days before, my wife started buying all these small puzzles, sticker books, small drawing pads, small books, things like that, but did not let him see them. She then stuffed them all into my laptop bag, I started to complain and she just said, "Trust me. Every time he gets uneasy, get one out. You'll see." It worked like magic, although he had brought his own toys on board, the new stuff worked best to keep him entertained for the whole flight. I almost left his sticker art-work on the seat in front of us for the plane's crew, but took it off. Not sure if they would've appreciated it. rgocs fucked around with this message at 20:32 on May 8, 2015 |
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May 8, 2015 20:08
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Thank you all for the toothbrushing tips. Going to pick up a fancy toothbrush this weekend and look for this Daniel Tiger song. Daniel Tiger is the best. Car seat talk, are you supposed to use one for train rides too? And what about cabs? We are going on vacation in 2 weeks and aren't getting a rental car, just relying on public transportation and walking as much as possible.
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May 8, 2015 23:25
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Car services in nyc we used all had a car seat in the trunk. We used the one we brought though.
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May 8, 2015 23:52
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No car seat for trains, there are no belts. Yes to car seats for cabs. It may not be legally required but you should definitely use one. Depending on the age of the kid there are some very easy to travel with options available. As for car seats on planes, I would definitely bring one for a 2 year old if only because you can strap their rear end in and then they cannot decide they refuse to sit during take off. FYI, if they should refuse to do so, you can and will be kicked off the plane. I've watched it happen to someone with a kid I'd guess was ~2.5 years. We've brought my daughters seat the last two times we flew (she was 19 months and 22 months for those trips). It was so much easier to have her be in something familiar and that she associates with being required to sit still. We have a car seat cart my aunt and uncle handed down to us to get it through the airport and she thought it was great fun to ride in it like a stroller as well. She was pretty thrilled to sit there and watch Elmo: 
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May 9, 2015 00:50
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Ceridwen posted:you can strap their rear end in and then they cannot decide they refuse to sit during take off. Wait, isn't the little red safety belt for kids that you attach to your own safety belt standard everywhere? Whenever I've flown with my toddler, I get handed one of those by a flight attendant, and I've always just had her strapped firmly to my lap with that for take-off and landing. I'd definitely concider a car seat for comfort and safety during a long flight, but for the 90 minute flight to visit my parents we get by just fine with the little toddler-sized safety belt. In other news, I went out today and bought a bunny-themed alarm clock for toddlers. She's definitely big enough to understand the principle and what the sleeping bunny and the up-and-about bunny means, I'm just hoping it'll actually help. It's not so much getting her to sleep longer in the morning that's the problem, it's that she has a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night and freak out. Hopefully she'll be able to look at the sleeping bunny clock and go "oh, right, it's nighttime" and go back to sleep on her own.
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May 9, 2015 15:29
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Sockmuppet posted:Wait, isn't the little red safety belt for kids that you attach to your own safety belt standard everywhere? In the US we don't have that. I don't they they allow any straps on babies sitting in your lap during take off and landing. That alarm clock looks awesome. My 2.5 year old already says it's night time and pretend to take naps or it's daytime wakeup. I really should tryout one of those.
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May 9, 2015 16:15
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Hdip posted:In the US we don't have that. I don't they they allow any straps on babies sitting in your lap during take off and landing. Fionnoula fucked around with this message at 16:36 on May 9, 2015 |
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May 9, 2015 16:33
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That's fascinating, with me they've always been adamant that she is to be strapped securely to my lap. Haha, googling the rules now I actually found an old article in a Norwegian newspaper about the differing safety standards, comparing the US guidelines to ones from Norwegian airlines. The conclusion seemed to be that yours are better, but we're not gonna change ours  Edit: Yesterday a book traumatized my daughter for the first (but hopefully not the last!) time, at the tender age of not quite two. On the first page the cat was small and curled up, sleeping peacefully. Then we flipped the page, and saw this:  "Biiig cat. Big cat, mamma, big cat! Where is the little cat? Little cat sleeping. BIIIG CAT!" She kept this up during the rest of the book, and all through dinner. We talked to her about how the cat was scared, but that she could help it and comfort it, and we had her pet it, and showed her the ending of the book, where the cat goes back to being small and asleep. She accepted this, and despite our worries, she slept fine with no mention of the cat. But then I went to put her to bed a little while ago: "Biiiig cat. Big cat is scared, mamma! Big cat scared, bebi comfort big cat! Hurrah, big cat is happy again! Oh no, big cat is scared! Oh no!" It took ages to calm her down and get her to sleep, and I doubt if the new bunny nightlight is going to have much effect on the big scared Catpocalypse of 2015. Sockmuppet fucked around with this message at 19:32 on May 9, 2015 |
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May 9, 2015 19:11
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Sockmuppet posted:Yesterday a book traumatized my daughter for the first (but hopefully not the last!) time, at the tender age of not quite two. So I was reading this thread with my three-year-old on my lap, and now he is asking, over and over again, "What is that cat doing? Mom, what's he doing? What's that cat doing, Mom?" 
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May 9, 2015 19:36
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Haha, oh my god, I am so sorry! Big scared cat - the gift that keeps on giving! (The book is The Dangerous Journey by Tove Jansson. It's really good, and the illustrations are amazing, but the sudden onslaught of the Big Scared Cat is understandably upsetting to very small people.) Sockmuppet fucked around with this message at 19:47 on May 9, 2015 |
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May 9, 2015 19:42
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Hey, any ideas on how to deal with lovely family situations that involve people claiming we 'have too many rules about our son' when, in actuality, we just want people to be quiet while he naps (and only when he naps)? Unlike my neice, who was kept up all day long until about 10-11pm, we follow our son's cues and put him down for a nap at least twice a day. But to hell with us, right? Yeah, sure, make a ton of noise so that his sleep gets interrupted and all hosed up 
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May 10, 2015 02:02
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Hey, any ideas on how to deal with lovely family situations that involve people claiming we 'have too many rules about our son' when, in actuality, we just want people to be quiet while he naps (and only when he naps)? Unlike my neice, who was kept up all day long until about 10-11pm, we follow our son's cues and put him down for a nap at least twice a day. Have them leave or leave. If you've made yourself clear about how you raise your child and someone basically says "nope your wrong" then you kick them the gently caress out of your house, or leave theirs. Tell them to call when they learn to respect how you raise your kids. Caveat: this is for "big things" like napping is important. Not necessarily Luvs are better than Huggies!
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May 10, 2015 02:27
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Hey, any ideas on how to deal with lovely family situations that involve people claiming we 'have too many rules about our son' when, in actuality, we just want people to be quiet while he naps (and only when he naps)? Unlike my neice, who was kept up all day long until about 10-11pm, we follow our son's cues and put him down for a nap at least twice a day. Just tell them that they're free to raise their child in the way that they want, and you'll do the same. If that's not enough for them, yeah, tell them to leave.
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May 10, 2015 06:20
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Yeah, this is all coming from my in-laws. Welp, we'll see how today goes. In related news: happy mother's day, goonette moms 
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May 10, 2015 13:00
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Happy Mothers Day to the moms in the thread!
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May 10, 2015 16:16
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My 6 Month old just slept 7:30 - 4:30 straight. This is from a baby who the night before was up every hour. I know from her sister not to get my hopes up, but hot drat, if this is the norm I might actually enjoy bed time. That and she went through into her own bedroom. It's like normality is slowly returning.
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May 11, 2015 08:10
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Our kids had their first sleepover this friday with their grandparents, apparently not a single crying moment, not when sleeping or waking or during the evening. Way better than we'd worried about (like them being inconsolable and crying for mommy nonstop). They also got to go visit my aunts (in their 60s), who are also twins, and they too have two more aunts who are also twins (both in their 90s).
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May 11, 2015 08:27
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Yeah, this is all coming from my in-laws. Welp, we'll see how today goes. As someone who has dealt with this exact same problem and as a result hasnt spoke to their family for close to 8 months I can say that you know how to raise your child better than them. If they dont like it, tough poo poo. Was this in your home or at theirs? Its doubly bad if in your own home because it basically says that they dont respect you or your wishes. Im not saying sever all ties but if they dont listen or wont respect your wishes then it may be a road you have to go down im afraid. Talk to your partner first and make sure you are on the same page.
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May 11, 2015 13:27
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Sockmuppet posted:Wait, isn't the little red safety belt for kids that you attach to your own safety belt standard everywhere? Whenever I've flown with my toddler, I get handed one of those by a flight attendant, and I've always just had her strapped firmly to my lap with that for take-off and landing. I'd definitely concider a car seat for comfort and safety during a long flight, but for the 90 minute flight to visit my parents we get by just fine with the little toddler-sized safety belt. As Fionnoula said, once they hit 2 they HAVE to be in their own seat and they must stay seated during takeoff (and landing, but it's hard for them to kick you off the plane at that point). So if you are flying with a kid between about 2 and 4, when they are quite likely to decide to ignore every drat thing you say, being able to strap them down in the carseat can very well make the difference between getting to go on the flight and getting kicked off. Which is pretty inconvenient regardless of the length of the flight. I'd love to believe that my daughter would never be quite that badly behaved on a flight, but you never know, especially since when we're traveling she's often short on sleep.
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May 11, 2015 18:03
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lorddazron posted:Was this in your home or at theirs? Its doubly bad if in your own home because it basically says that they dont respect you or your wishes. It was kind of at ours, kind of not. See, we take our son's sleep very seriously. My in-laws, however, seem to think that we're making our son 'different' by making sure his naptimes are relatively quiet. All kids are different; some can sleep through noise, others can't. Regardless of this, though, why wouldn't you want to provide the best possible conditions for your child's sleep time? Well, in mid-April, we had his baptism, and had a bunch of people over. The actual ceremony ended up going long, cutting into his naptime, so we put him down when we got back to our place with everyone else, which was about 15-17 people. Five of those people were kids under the age of 5, so we obviously expect some noise, but we did ask to keep the screaming to a minimum while he slept. Well, holy poo poo, I guess that that came across as us having 'too many rules' for our son (we also ask that people just let us know when they want to come by, because we might be out at the park or the grocery story, and it's a bit of a drive to our place). So, fast-forward to this Saturday, my wife calls her dad, asking 'hey, you haven't really seen him that much in the past 4 months, you and mom should come by and take him to the park, he'd love that, and you'd get to spend time with him'. That was met with 'No, we're not doing that, you have too many rules, you're making him different, you shouldn't have him napping so much, I raised 3 kids, we had parties all the time, you slept through it, your sister's daughter didn't nap this much, you never let him play, blah blah blah'. I was shocked at what I was hearing, because this was coming from my wife's dad, who normally would never say any of this stuff. And the 'never let him play' line? What the gently caress? They'd know how much he loves playing... if they ever visited. I know that you're all hearing my side of this story, but I'm trying VERY hard to look at this whole thing with unbiased eyes, and I still really can't understand where the hell they're getting all of these 'rules'. It really comes down to how we would prefer that he sleeps in a quiet environment. That's it. Very much a  and  confrontation. But if they (my in-laws) want to miss out on our son growing up, they can go ahead. I have two parents who live 9 hours away who would love to be able to spend more time with him.EDIT: I should also mention that, weeks and weeks ago, my wife's mom came over, along with my niece, and we all hung out together, our son went for a nap for about an hour, woke up, and we continued our visit like normal. While he was asleep, all we asked was that our niece, who is 5-years old, not play upstairs near his bedroom. So, we played downstairs, and there wasn't a problem. We weren't whispering because we don't need to. Rupert Buttermilk fucked around with this message at 18:16 on May 11, 2015 |
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May 11, 2015 18:13
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:My in-laws, however, seem to think that we're making our son 'different' by making sure his naptimes are relatively quiet. All kids are different; some can sleep through noise, others can't. This is actually a bit of a chicken-and-egg-issue. We have the same problem, our daughter is VERY sensitive to noise when she sleeps. But we're pretty sure she became that way because, well, we're pretty quiet people, so from the start whenever she napped or went to bed for the night, there just wouldn't be much noise in the house. So we're also the ones asking people to tone it down whenever she's sleeping nearby, because yes, she WILL wake up. But this just reinforces her sensitivity to noise, so while your inlaws are being completely assholish about it, I kind of get where they're coming from (on this particular issue, not the other stuff, holy crap). We've started having the radio on in the evening, to help her get used to sleeping through noises. From what I've heard from everyone I know with more than one child, this is rarely a problem with subsequent kids, because with an older kid in the house they're used to sleeping through noise from day one.
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May 11, 2015 19:57
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Sockmuppet posted:This is actually a bit of a chicken-and-egg-issue. We have the same problem, our daughter is VERY sensitive to noise when she sleeps. But we're pretty sure she became that way because, well, we're pretty quiet people, so from the start whenever she napped or went to bed for the night, there just wouldn't be much noise in the house. So we're also the ones asking people to tone it down whenever she's sleeping nearby, because yes, she WILL wake up. But this just reinforces her sensitivity to noise, so while your inlaws are being completely assholish about it, I kind of get where they're coming from (on this particular issue, not the other stuff, holy crap). We've started having the radio on in the evening, to help her get used to sleeping through noises. I definitely understand that, and he sleeps with a noise machine, as well as the fan in his room for air circulation, so he's got background noise going on. It's really the sudden, loud noises that we try to avoid, like shouting, or banging. It's funny; even though we asked the kids to keep it down (and they didn't, which we expected), he still stayed asleep. And I don't think we've ever told her parents to be quiet, because when they're over, they're not loud. This further confuses me as to why they'd even bring it up, because they've never been a problem. "No, we're not going to come over because you have a bunch of rules for your son that don't apply to us at all.' 
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May 11, 2015 20:02
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We are generally quiet and didn't make attempts to be loud at nap times and my kiddo sleeps through a lot of noise now if it happens (including us cutting down a tree with a chainsaw during his nap last weekend). I think most of it is kid dependent and not environment/what you did dependent.
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May 11, 2015 20:06
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sheri posted:We are generally quiet and didn't make attempts to be loud at nap times and my kiddo sleeps through a lot of noise now if it happens (including us cutting down a tree with a chainsaw during his nap last weekend). I think most of it is kid dependent and not environment/what you did dependent. Oh yes, our apartment building is currently being worked on, so there's drilling and hammering almost every day. He's actually dealt with it much better than we had expected, but when we're given the choice, we try and keep it quiet (aside from his white noise machine). But yeah, kids are different! I LOVE sleeping to sounds and noises, my wife just can't do it.
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May 11, 2015 20:10
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In-laws. My mother in law thinks I'm helicopter dad-ing when I wont let my daughter crawl on her disgusting kitchen floor (where she keeps her raid and cleaning chemicals stored ON the floor out in the open). But gives us legitimate grief because we didn't bring shoes for our nine month old to wear to church. Jesus.
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May 11, 2015 20:13
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BonoMan posted:In-laws. My mother in law thinks I'm helicopter dad-ing when I wont let my daughter crawl on her disgusting kitchen floor (where she keeps her raid and cleaning chemicals stored ON the floor out in the open). I wasn't with my wife when this happened, but our niece, my MIL's other grandchild, was switched to a forward-facing car seat WAY too early because, and I'm quoting, "now she can see the scenery while we're driving". We don't take parenting advice from her.
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May 11, 2015 20:18
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Severing ties with parents because they disagree with how you raise your kid seems pretty overboard. If they don't live with you, just keep doing what you're doing. Don't aggravate the situation. They probably feel like you're judging them based on how they raised their kids. Maybe back off a bit when they're around. Your kid missing a nap when his entire family is there for a celebration of him is probably not the end of the world. e: your relationship with your parents will impact your adult child's relationship with you.
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May 11, 2015 20:19
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