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Wait, 20% of them would just randomly attack Japan for no reason?
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# ? May 8, 2015 02:34 |
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 11:08 |
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Actually, I think it's high-time the Japanese got the co-prosperity train going again.
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# ? May 8, 2015 02:35 |
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World's response to Ireland restructuring their entire government as a Catholic theocracy: "Eh, I mean, its not great, but it can't be all that bad. Their leader did just increase hospital staffing and gave a great speech about how Ireland was a country of the future." World's response to Ireland banning Satanism: "TOO FAR YA loving POTATO EATERS"
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# ? May 8, 2015 03:22 |
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Clarste posted:Wait, 20% of them would just randomly attack Japan for no reason? "Well if America is going to do a random war in Asia, so are we since we don't have to man the DMZ anymore. Hey, remember all those invasions Japan did of us back in the day? Well gently caress you Japan you don't have an army anymore, kekekeke" Archenteron fucked around with this message at 03:44 on May 8, 2015 |
# ? May 8, 2015 03:41 |
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Played some of this for the first time earlier and had fun even if I didn't know what I was doing. Couldn't work out how to nuke ireland. I did get to accuse my wife of having an affair, have her assassinated and have my father imprisoned for 10 years. This game is pretty cool.
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# ? May 8, 2015 04:11 |
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UrbicaMortis posted:Played some of this for the first time earlier and had fun even if I didn't know what I was doing. Couldn't work out how to nuke ireland. I did get to accuse my wife of having an affair, have her assassinated and have my father imprisoned for 10 years. This game is pretty cool. You should give Crusader Kings 2 a try!
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# ? May 8, 2015 04:20 |
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AfroSquirrel posted:You should give Crusader Kings 2 a try! I've played an alarming amount of crusader kings 2.
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# ? May 8, 2015 09:22 |
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Great Joe posted:
This is the funniest thing I have seen in a while.
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# ? May 8, 2015 12:13 |
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Archenteron posted:"Well if America is going to do a random war in Asia, so are we since we don't have to man the DMZ anymore. Hey, remember all those invasions Japan did of us back in the day? Well gently caress you Japan you don't have an army anymore, kekekeke" Do you think Korea will destroy all aneem?
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# ? May 8, 2015 14:08 |
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I tried to complete one of the scenarios -- the one in which the US must deal with North Korea -- and failed utterly three times. I can still do a write-up of what happened, though, if you like.
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# ? May 8, 2015 20:23 |
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corn in the bible posted:I tried to complete one of the scenarios -- the one in which the US must deal with North Korea -- and failed utterly three times. I can still do a write-up of what happened, though, if you like. I'd be interested. I tried the game out again and sort of understood what I was doing a little but still basically failed at all my goals (mostly to reclaim the rest of ireland) and eventually got deposed for the attempted assassination of a satirist. I tried to bribe the judge but that kind of backfired and got him angrier.
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# ? May 8, 2015 22:17 |
[8.5.2015 16:53:33] bible "crowfeathers" corn: so it turns out that replacing the entirety of the uk government with sports [8.5.2015 16:53:35] bible "crowfeathers" corn: is actually viable
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# ? May 9, 2015 02:40 |
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Great Joe posted:[8.5.2015 16:53:33] bible "crowfeathers" corn: so it turns out that replacing the entirety of the uk government with sports As a British person, I can confirm this is very realistic.
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# ? May 9, 2015 11:05 |
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Clarste posted:Wait, 20% of them would just randomly attack Japan for no reason? Look at the language used in that screen shot. It may be bullshit. corn in the bible please make the North American Union happen and institute the Amero.
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# ? May 9, 2015 12:23 |
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paragon1 posted:Look at the language used in that screen shot. It may be bullshit. For people who don't know, the graph is in Japanese. Which kind of surprises me. I always thought most Japanese people didn't know how much Koreans hate them, given that their schools expressly do NOT teach students how Japan brutally occupied Korea and tried to destroy its language and culture. Edit: After some research, I take it back. Apparently, Japan-Korea relations is a hot topic in both countries nowadays, thanks to greater cultural exchange (which means TV shows and video games). That graph is basically Fox News: a fear-inspired, factless reaction to a greater cultural world the conservative element finds repulsive. In super cool news, it seems like the younger generation (who are the ones adopting those pieces of foreign culture) can smell the bullshit here! MartianAgitator fucked around with this message at 16:24 on May 9, 2015 |
# ? May 9, 2015 16:06 |
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GRUDGE MATCH: US VERSUS NORTH KOREA In addition to the multiplayer and the full simulation mode, you can also play scenarios. They're really just the regular game, but with a win condition. Can America defeat North Korea? No, no it cannot. The game begins with a news segment telling us that North Korea has successfully tested nuclear weapons. That seems like a big deal, but nobody cares. The UN will also not acknowledge this test, even though it was televised on WNN. We'll have to prove North Korea has nukes in order to get the UN on board with our plans. The best way to get a UN resolution is to present hard evidence, and the best way to get evidence is through espionage. For some reason, when you order a new spy network you can only assign ten people to it. You can raise the number later, so I don't understand the reasoning there. It takes a week or two to get the spy ring set up, so I decided to work on raising popularity in the meantime. Warfare tanks your popularity like crazy, because according to Eversim being in a war longer than a month is impossible without being violently deposed. I raised subsidies for sporting events, as well, and booked a bunch of goodwill appearances at various events. Things are going pretty well, though teachers start protesting their low wages. Fortunately, the president can unilaterally declare a minimum wage increase for teachers. The disturbance is easily fixed. Time passes. The North Korean spy ring is finally active. I assign all idle agents to North Korea, and raise the budget of the CIA to improve efficacy. Getting proof that North Korea has built nukes is my current priority. Agent 001 is a special unit you can assign to a single country in which you already have a spy ring active. He will actively seek to replace a high government official, and then will sent reports on whatever aspect of the government he takes over. Generally, it's quite difficult to get the kind of proof I'm looking for, but in this scenario it'll only take about a week. Here are some key events in American culture during this period: This is referring to Superbowl XLV, which was actually won by the Packers. Finally, some good news: Agent 001 has infiltrated the NK government. Also, I get a popularity bonus because an American has "won the academy awards." Mackenman and Bao are really the best. I keep losing popularity because of soldiers lost in Iraq. Iraq does not count as a war since the Mission was already Accomplished, but there is constant violence against the American soldiers stationed there. I decided to repatriate them all, which I figured would be popular enough. In actual fact, however, this caused the Republican Party to blockade roads across the nation and, eventually, overthrow the government by force. Just like real life! Finally. Having proof allows you to demand sanctions and an invasion authorization from the UN. It takes a little while, but they actually agree! Even China votes in favor of a military force resolution, which is strange as they are actually allies with North Korea. I am sure this will not cause any problems later on. I give the order to invade North Korea. American missile launcher begin bombardment of Pyongyang, which in one day is reduced to a population of 0. Somehow, North Korea's leader continues to reside in Pyongyang regardless. Inexplicably, the game acts as if Korea has invaded the United States, and asks if I want to retaliate by declaring war and invading the country, which I have already done. So I do it again. Since this war is legal and justified, I call for allied forces to aid the US in this conflict. They never join the war. Meanwhile, Republican riots consume the United States. Several cities are set on fire. Also, Sally Brewis wins the U.S. Open! The invasion is going poorly. It takes so long for troops to reach Korea from the mainland that they can easily be picked off by North Korea's massive naval fleet, which is somehow the same size as that of the United States. South Korea responds by demanding that America remove its bases from Korean soil within thirty days, and threatens to declare war if this is not done. Suddenly, things are happening very quickly. Russia breaks off all relations with America, and somehow North Korea has fought the invasion to a standstill despite the death of most of their population and the destruction of literally every city in North Korea. They refuse to surrender. The Weekly Observer is apparently taken over by blind men. Then, China gets involved as well. Remember, both Russia and China have UN vetoes and voted in favor of military intervention. Jihadists begin to assassinate American comedians. But it's not all bad news! Hooray! Also, Russia honors their treaties with China and joins the war on their side. Things could probably be going better. I hope you weren't wanting to see World War Three play out, though, because at this point the Republican Party seized the white house by force. To the very end, the only thing the rioters cared about was that I had lowered troop levels in Iraq. GAME OVER
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# ? May 9, 2015 20:10 |
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Holy poo poo. What even is this game
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# ? May 9, 2015 20:44 |
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Small Frozen Thing posted:Holy poo poo. What even is this game rulers of nations is the world's most accurate geopolitical simulator
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# ? May 9, 2015 21:01 |
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corn in the bible posted:I hope you weren't wanting to see World War Three play out, though, because at this point the Republican Party seized the white house by force. To the very end, the only thing the rioters cared about was that I had lowered troop levels in Iraq. goldmine
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# ? May 9, 2015 21:02 |
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Small Frozen Thing posted:Holy poo poo. What even is this game rulers of nations is the world's most accurate geopolitical simulator EDIT: I was too slow
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# ? May 9, 2015 21:03 |
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Well, that was fun.
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# ? May 9, 2015 21:04 |
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I've come to the realization that Germans make very strange videogames Not strange in a creepy or awesome way like Japan, but strange in a baffling and deeply confusing way
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# ? May 9, 2015 21:32 |
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We may have lost the war, but at least we triumphed in eSports.
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# ? May 9, 2015 21:36 |
Small Frozen Thing posted:I've come to the realization that Germans make very strange videogames I didn't notice this from the OP - Germans made this game? Eversim is a French company, and I can't really find anything pointing towards this being made by a German development team. We make some weird poo poo, but I like to believe that our simulators are at least halfway competently coded and uphold at least some degree of realism.
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# ? May 9, 2015 21:39 |
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Eversim does appear to be French, my bad I've seen enough of Arthur D Wolfe's simulator streams to stand by my statement though
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# ? May 9, 2015 21:43 |
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What the hell. I was checking out EverSim's website (they're french - they posted their address if you want to visit them) - and under the tab for Serious Games, there's this:EverSim posted:With experience developing technology since 2004 for its Geo-Political Simulator game (https://www.geo-political-simulator.com), a realistic geopolitical simulation game, Eversim has developed a branch of “serious gaming” in its activity. Eversim thus produces crisis simulation software, designed to teach and train for the defense and security sectors, and notably for NATO (NATO ACT Norfolk).
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# ? May 9, 2015 21:44 |
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The OP says that this game is French. It has always said that this game is French. Do not question it.
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# ? May 9, 2015 21:44 |
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why is there a dude at the back of the cover doing the fonz
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# ? May 9, 2015 22:19 |
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That's what you get for thinking you can beat Glorious North Korea and her august and enlightened leader Kim Jong Un, American pig.
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# ? May 10, 2015 00:17 |
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Make Israel conquer the Ottoman Empire.
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# ? May 10, 2015 01:44 |
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As this helpful popup says, Mata Hari was killed by "the French" whereas a German spying incident was "closer to us". The game is German.
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# ? May 10, 2015 02:53 |
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corn in the bible posted:To the very end, the only thing the rioters cared about was that I had lowered troop levels in Iraq. This sentence speaks to me on a level I never thought possible
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# ? May 10, 2015 03:00 |
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corn in the bible posted:Actually, it's possible to bribe anyone, if you want. 1) Take over a wealthy nation. 2) Steal as much money as humanly possible, in every way possible. 3) Spend every cent bribing the "Country's Oldest Resident." 4) Because he's earned it. I will also accept transferring the wealth of a nation to Elvis the Bear.
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# ? May 10, 2015 04:08 |
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Kellsterik posted:As this helpful popup says, Mata Hari was killed by "the French" whereas a German spying incident was "closer to us". The game is German. I can't tell if you're joking, but I think they meant "closer in time".
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# ? May 10, 2015 04:54 |
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I just discovered this LP and it's great. Please try to acquire as much territory as possible in a game. I wanna see what'd happen.
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# ? May 10, 2015 05:41 |
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ThatPazuzu posted:I just discovered this LP and it's great. Please try to acquire as much territory as possible in a game. I wanna see what'd happen. I think I've already demonstrated my inability to conquer any territory, ever. Explosions posted:1) Take over a wealthy nation. The oldest resident is always a woman, and often is given front page editorial space to talk about how crap you are.
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# ? May 10, 2015 07:08 |
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I always thought I was just bad at this game when I tried it; I had no idea it was because the game was incredibly broken, rather than from my own incompetence...probably. I do remember that building a hospital bumps up your popularity each time, and that the first thing that happens in Australia is that the police riot due to not enough jobs. I also had an alliance with South Korea that got me called in when the North attacked. The funny thing was, the two sides eventually settled their differences a week into the "war", leaving my navies to duke it out with them on their own. For the next challenge, I want to see how Russia can handle going back to communism. On that subject, can countries actually change their names depending on government or something else?
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# ? May 10, 2015 07:15 |
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corn in the bible posted:I hope you weren't wanting to see World War Three play out, though, because at this point the Republican Party seized the white house by force. To the very end, the only thing the rioters cared about was that I had lowered troop levels in Iraq. There's just no way the game is topping this.
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# ? May 10, 2015 09:14 |
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I got a request. Can you see if Portugal goes on a crazy bender and tries to regain the old colonies? Like Macau or Angola.
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# ? May 10, 2015 14:55 |
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 11:08 |
How Portugal got its Bunda Back.
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# ? May 10, 2015 15:29 |