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Eversim makes political simulators, and they are not very good at it. This is one of them. Where is Geopolitical Simulator 1? I don't know. There is a GPS 3, you can buy it on Steam, but it's sixty dollars and has limited-activation DRM, so it can gently caress right off. I bought Rulers of Nations for two dollars, and it's good enough for me. But what is this game? Basically, it's Hidden Agenda, as a grand strategy game. You can do all kinds of things, pass any laws you want (as long as they'll get past the legislature), have people killed, appoint your friends to the cabinet, whatever. Manipulating popular opinion and keeping good relations with your neighbors is really the main thing you have to do, since the only way to actually lose is to become so unpopular that you are ousted from office, legally or otherwise. Every country in the world is playable, including Palestine, and since the developers are just some idiots in France you can extrapolate from this how good their understanding of politics in, say, Benin or Lichtenstein will be. But, honestly, every country that isn't a straight constitutional parliamentary system (i.e., exactly like France) is completely hosed, which includes the United States -- as you'll see in a bit. The variety of legislation options is impressive, though, and it's a fun game to mess around in in that CK2 "let's see what the hell we can make happen" sort of way. But this won't be a normal LP, because Rulers of Nations is far too incomprehensible and broken to really play through any of the scenario modes, even if you want to. Instead, I'm going to try out some of the fun stuff you can do with the game's simulation mode, and if you all have any suggestions then we can do those too. Do you want to see me try to turn Cuba into a human rights utopia, or help the British reconquer Ireland? Whatever, just think of something that'd be funny and I'll give it a shot. First off, though, we'll go with something current: Obama's secret plan to destroy Texas. corn in the bible fucked around with this message at 21:44 on May 9, 2015 |
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May 6, 2015 21:08
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| # ? May 6, 2024 22:27 |
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OPERATION JADE HELM President Jack Ohama was elected on a left-centrist platform of social reform and some economic regulation. But we all know what he really wants: to conquer Texas and rule the nation as permanent emperor in chief. So right now, he's going to do it.  This is the USA at the start of 2011. You can see that the nation's leader, whoever you pick, starts at 50% popularity. I'll be cropping most of the screen, but I've included this full-size shot to show you how the UI looks. Sadly, you can't pick a different start date; the simulation mode always begins the year the game came out. I believe MotW moves the date up to 2013, but it still doesn't allow for alternate start dates. America might seem pretty barren here, but zooming in further will reveal other features and cities. You can also turn in different map modes to reveal important military targets and so on, if you need to. Fortunately, America in 2011 already has a pretty solid transportation network and solid economy, though it is of course running a deficit. If you are ever below breaking even, advisors will constantly complain about it to you in sideboard events, but as long as you're not in debt to the IMF or whatever it really doesn't matter.  Texas in 2011. The two cities you see there are Houston and Dallas. For some reason, Austin is not considered important enough, or large enough, to be displayed.  You can go in further, and even micro-manage the building of roads between your cities if you want, but I don't know why you'd ever bother to.First things first: Ohama's got to guarantee that, no matter what, he won't be leaving office without a fight. However, removing the right to elect a nation's leader is always massively unpopular, so it's important to offset that kind of law by also putting some popular, but cheap, reforms as well. We send a law to Congress which increases their term limits, because in the United States of America all Congressmen serve for exactly two years and the President can unilaterally create laws with no oversight.  The smiley face there is a feature of playing in Easy mode. In theory, you could use your political knowledge to play on a harder difficulty, but since Eversim thinks the Democratic Party is in favor of eternally elected dictators you may run into some trouble. This should make congressmen happy, which means laws are easier to get passed. Laws do not immediately go into effect; they get a set date, usually a week ahead, on which they come up for a vote. This also means that you will get a small popularity effect when the law is announced, and then a much larger one when it passes (or not, as the case may be). Creating a bunch of popular legislation that will never pass is a good way to get short-term popularity, but when Congress shuts it all down you'll drop like a rock.  The law removing term limits is iffy, and might not pass, but I'm feeling lucky. This is separate from actually having Congress vote to end elections, or to give up all legislative power, but you can create a law like that. If you're playing somewhere like Cuba it is a good move, as Eversim inexplicably believes it when people like Castro claim that they have a legislature with full veto rights and checks on dictatorial power. This also means that Palestine is a magical utopia where everyone has free education, health care, and all human rights are fully recogized. To try and boost Ohama's popularity, I also created a law lowering the voting age, while also sending a law extending the President's term to ridiculous lengths -- this is different, and much easier, to get passed than a law actually abolishing term lengths altogether. None of these laws have been voted on, yet, but the popularity effects are clear:  Newspapers in RoN are amazing. It generates a new one each week, complete with silly puff pieces and editorials from political groups around the world. If you give money to, say, the Satanist Church of America, they will write an editorial about how you are going to help bring about the coming of the antichrist and therefore should be given more political influence to do so. But there's time for that later; I've screwed around long enough. JACK OHAMA has his eternal presidency all lined up, and now it is time to destroy Texas. Unfortunately, you cannot actually invade a state which you already own. Crazy, I know. You also can't nuke your own territories; the military won't allow it. So there's only one choice:  The Democratic Party is really into giving states independence against their will, right? That's a thing they support? I wanted to see what else I could make the easily-led Democrats do, so  Also, that rear end in a top hat comedian who made fun of President Ohama won't be laughing for long, as the FBI is sent to assassinate him. You can have the FBI kill anyone in your own country, including family members or the "Country's Oldest Resident," which seems cruel. It takes time, however, and is not guaranteed to work. Anyway, the laws all pass easily; Texas is now an independent nation, ruled by President "Stuart Maberick," and the White House is transported magically to Las Vegas overnight. Little does Stuart know that Texas's independence is a false flag operation to allow America to finally conquer Texas and annex it once and for all.  The President is head of the armed forces, which makes attacking nations for no reason much easier; some countries give control to the military itself and you can't directly control it as a result. But we need the launch codes, hence the meeting with the "Chief of Army."  When he asks if you have a pen, it's not just for effect -- you have to remember this code, because you only ever hear it once and it's randomized for each game. If you forget the launch code, you can never launch a nuke again, so write it down!  Daniel Carmiward, you fucker! Let's get this started.    Oh yeah, and this too:  You can micromanage every unit, if you want, but the AI can handle invading a country on its own if you let it. Firing WMDs, whether nuclear or biological, requires direct control. Speaking of which,  I also bombed Dallas, mostly because it was the only other city that would show up on the map. Jack Ohama enjoys a 70% popularity rating. Let's see what the papers say.  Stuart remains unharmed, and he's mad as hell. For some reason, no other nation is upset about this casual nuclear eradication of most of Texas. I'm not sure if that's because it's a shoddy simulation, or a really really good one.  The chiefs of staff are unfazed by President Maberick's threats, but he's nowhere to be found! But I had set up a meeting with him prior to the start of the war so he happily shows up in Las Vegas for talks anyway:  For some reason, he reacts poorly to a request that he cease his military action against the US.  But it's only a matter of time. American forces start liberating Texas's cities, and a series of military successes drive Texan morale to an all-time low. We've even captured Arlington, which is apparently important enough that the Chief of War specifically mentioned it. And, in time, the inevitable happens.   Ohama has won! There's plenty of other stuff to play with -- you can mess with the cabinet, with media laws, legalize gay marriage, etc. I'm going to start a new game for the next post, so just post who or what you'd like tried out and I'll give it a go. Want to see the US go to war with NATO? It can happen. It'll be fun!
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May 6, 2015 21:09
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I'd go with Ireland putting a reconquista on filthy British heathens, ideally by a campaign of Catholic propaganda and/or re-instating the Inquisition.
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May 6, 2015 21:09
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Bring back the Ottoman Empire as Turkey!
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May 6, 2015 21:39
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Can you make straight marriage illegal and force people to get gay married? Also yeah, reinstate the Inquisition.
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May 6, 2015 21:40
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Annnd voted five. That was amazing. I like this game already.
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May 6, 2015 21:50
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Pyroi posted:Can you make straight marriage illegal and force people to get gay married? You mean the Spanish inquisition? Some forms of religious intolerance don't even need legislative approval, so a Spanish theocratic reign of terror is probably doable.
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May 6, 2015 23:22
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Pyroi posted:Can you make straight marriage illegal and force people to get gay married?
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May 6, 2015 23:49
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Recreate the great Korean empire as envisioned by some crazy nationalist:
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May 6, 2015 23:56
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Grizzwold posted:Recreate the great Korean empire as envisioned by some crazy nationalist: Oh man I need a source. This is magical.
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May 7, 2015 00:06
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Unfortunately I have no goddamn idea where that image is originally from, but I did find this blog post that uses it, along with one of the best captions I've seen in a while.quote:This picture had the following legend on the blog where I found it: "Korean territory. I've looked it up on the internet and it's true."
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May 7, 2015 00:16
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quote:This is absurd. Texas wouldn't never have elected someone so brown to be their president. Voted 1.
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May 7, 2015 01:12
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1stGear posted:This is absurd. Texas wouldn't never have elected someone so brown to be their president. Voted 1.  but voted 5 anyway.Full LF; reconquer the illegal Israeli state as Palestine then create a pan-Arab socialist utopia.
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May 7, 2015 01:45
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I vote we release all 50 states, and then have them duke it our for supremacy. If they are too peaceful then go on the warpath as either Rhode Island or Wyoming.
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May 7, 2015 01:56
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Play as Palestine, turn into a theocracy, conquer Israel, and unite all the Muslim countries under a new Islamic State.
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May 7, 2015 02:19
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Play as North Korea and just troll the poo poo out of everyone.
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May 7, 2015 02:50
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Mantis42 posted:Play as Palestine, turn into a theocracy, conquer Israel, and unite all the Muslim countries under a new Islamic State. This.
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May 7, 2015 02:56
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Actually wait, can you release Kurdistan as an independent nation? If so, the same thing but as them. Revenge of Saladin.
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May 7, 2015 02:57
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Play as Egypt and establish yourself as Pharaoh. On the moon.
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May 7, 2015 03:09
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Can you play as the Vatican?
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May 7, 2015 03:20
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Rincewind posted:Can you play as the Vatican?
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May 7, 2015 03:27
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The Knights Templar Strike Back!
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May 7, 2015 04:14
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I played this for like half an hour and could not figure out how not to get couped a week into my rule.
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May 7, 2015 04:20
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Mantis42 posted:Actually wait, can you release Kurdistan as an independent nation? If so, the same thing but as them. Revenge of Saladin. Changing my vote to this.
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May 7, 2015 04:29
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Accordion Man posted:Play as North Korea and just troll the poo poo out of everyone. So "Play as North Korea" then. If the Vatican is a possible choice, and can actually do anything, I think it's time for a little crusadin'. That also means you should kick off the holy space program and the holy nuclear program. With thematically appropriate names of course, and let's be honest, the bible probably isn't lacking there. Old testament stuff is weird.
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May 7, 2015 04:36
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I was messing around with the cheat codes to see what sort of thing you can do with them. Mostly wanted to see whether making the states fight was doable -- it is, if you use the switch nation cheat to force them into conflict -- but it'd take a long-rear end time to actually split all the states off, since you have to do them one at a time. Anyway, since I was just loving around I was not recording, which is unfortunate because playing as Vatican City is also possible with the switching nation cheat (unlike Palestine it doesn't show up in the playable nations list), though it is hard to conquer anything as they have exactly two soldiers. the problem with playing as nonstandard nations, i.e. states, is that they often have no data for their politics -- for example, independent Texas's legislature was a solid voting block of 0 congressmen, all members of the VOID party. e: probably going to do the inquisition thing next, to show off how ridiculous the religion system is, but North Korea is a good choice for a followup -- usually achieving totalitarianism involves a lot of clever manipulation to avoid simply being assassinated, but NK starts with it so you can basically do whatever the hell you want. corn in the bible fucked around with this message at 05:22 on May 7, 2015 |
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May 7, 2015 04:46
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Play as Canada and conquer those drat yanks.
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May 7, 2015 05:25
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Does this game have the European Union at all?
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May 7, 2015 13:41
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This game is amazing - lowering taxes makes you unpopular, increasing housing subsidies makes you hated, Russia and America declare war against each other every other week, Korean war is absolutely inevitable, Cuba loves to conquer Mexico, and Iran tends to beat the crap out of invading US armies (that nearly always declare war on Iran as soon as the game starts). Also the most efficient way to force people to make concessions is to get them drunk. Muslims can't offer other people anything to drink, making Muslim countries the Hard Mode. The Geo-Political Simulator somewhat got worse between the first and third iteration (I don't really remember what the difference between GPS and Rulers of Nations is)
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May 7, 2015 14:41
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steinrokkan posted:This game is amazing - lowering taxes makes you unpopular tbf I don't trust politicians who lower taxes. It usually means the next thing they're doing is breaking down some important government service.
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May 7, 2015 17:30
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THE IRISH INQUISITION I decided to try turning Ireland into a theocratic dystopia. Here's how I almost succeeded.  This is Ireland's prime minister, Franklin Jower. You can choose from several people as your country's leader, and the game actually tells you her name is Karen when you pick her, but then she ends up being called Franklin anyway  Ireland has exactly one city, which is Dublin. Galway and Cork (and Dungarvin, for some reason) appear as military bases, but there are no other towns or cities or any kind of residential areas outside of Dublin. This also means Ireland has no roads, and no need for them. I was just about to institute a theocracy when this happened:  2011 was indeed an election year in Ireland, so they got that part right, but it's a serious problem for our burgeoning religious extremism. You see, getting so unpopular you are assassinated is one way to get a game over (think Hidden Agenda), but losing an election also immediately ends your game. This means I essentially had a time limit, since winning reelection seemed unlikely. Parliament refused to vote for Franklin's lifetime ruler proposal, and you can't change election rules during an election. Plus, unlike a direct election system such as America has, the Prime Minister of Ireland (in real life, he's called the Taoiseach) is chosen by Parliament, which means even if my party won I would probably not be picked to return to the position. Let's read the papers!  The game seems to have forgotten that Franklin is a woman, but apart from that this column's not very interesting. Here's something from the international pages:  ...hm. In any case, I immediately set about promoting Catholicism above all else. Fortunately, as the majority religion, it's already got special status under the game's rules -- you can't make a country attack its own religion, and you can't make laws restricting its practice, but you can do whatever the hell you want to minority religions. First, I give Catholicism a subsidy. This doesn't require a vote, because that's totally something the Taoiseach can do.  I also have the government publicly congratulate the Catholics. I don't really know what this does, if anything, but it can't hurt. Banning a religion and arresting its leaders is also possible without a vote, but doing so without a very high popularity will get you kicked out for sure. But there's another option:  Franklin's popularity immediately drops by 15 percent, and she (he?) is lambasted in the press. A loss in the upcoming election seems guaranteed. Let's do something about that:  You can also make campaign promises, which boost your popularity if they coincide with the public's priorities. Reneging on them later is quite damaging, because Eversim are incredibly naive. But there are a few platform promises you can make which are completely safe, as they really don't mean anything.  Ireland will become a nation of the future, in the future. This raises the party's popularity so much that polling places it in first place, even though our PM is still hated by pretty much everybody and Dublin is being burned to the ground by rioters. Try to guess what their issue is. It's not the new proposal to replace Ireland's constitution with the ten commandments, by the way. Instead, it's this:  Any organization can riot, and no matter how stupid their issue is it will affect your popularity every day until the rioters go away. They may do it on their own, or they may literally burn your city to the ground -- and since we have exactly one city, that would be a bit of a problem. But a massive and invasive police force is just what the Inquisition needs, so this is a win-win for our country. The riot disperses, but there's a shocking message from our head of intelligence:  GNIHAAA! I order the head of the protestant church assassinated. Did you know Protestantism is a monolithic religion with just one leader? Some people oppose the new bill.  Nevertheless, it is set to pass with a 60% majority. What country, anywhere, has such an easily altered constitution? In the real Ireland, it requires not just a vote in Congress but a popular referendum as well. In Rulers of Nations, you just need to get 51% of your legislators on your side and you can destroy a country. It's actually possible to directly bribe congressmen, if you want, but that's not really necessary most of the time. Actually, it's possible to bribe anyone, if you want.  Amnesty for undocumented immigrants is a good way to quickly boost your popularity. You get bonuses for "fighting racism," and everybody in the world loves you. I also submit a law proposing that immigrants be allowed to integrate into society, which somehow was not already law and which almost half of parliament is opposed to. I figure that, even if they may decide to vote against it, the public loves it. I need to get Franklin's popularity up so I can start doing more religious reforms, since at extremely low levels there's always a risk that someone will just outright have you killed. Once again, Dublin is wracked by rioters. They want an increase in hospital staffing, because that's the most pressing issue in Ireland today. I decide to just unilaterally raise medical staff to the maximum level allowed, because changing the budget also doesn't require a vote. Suddenly, Franklin has 80% popularity and is set to win reelection easily! And not everybody is opposed to the religious changes. See:  Meanwhile, the ICC and UN are threatening to kick Ireland out if they don't give people more human rights. And, to make matters worse, our assassins failed to kill the Protestant leadership!  GNIHAAA! Finally, the day comes when Parliament will actually vote on the new constitution. I was really not sure if it would pass or not, since Franklin's really not on good terms with her political party at the moment. But then...  The global community chimes in:  Bangladesh is known for its religious freedom and tolerance. Irish community is disrupted by the sudden imposition of religious law!  Also on the front page: France is starting an officially sanctioned comics convention!  Franklin Lansyth, you fucker  At least Frank's husband is on board Whenever you check the newspaper in RoN, you should always read the international pages as well. That's where the magic happens.  America, England, and the EU also send word that they will not support the direction Ireland is heading. But more importantly, the Minister of Industry has his own problem that needs solving:  Governmental assassins will sort it out, so don't worry.  Christ, can these people do anything right? By the way, just as the player can be deposed for lack of popularity, so can the AI leaders. Chad's government has been violently overthrown due to massive poverty and international debt. But more importantly, it's time for Sundance!  Has Sundance lost its soul? What do you think, readers? The election is just days away. Here's where we stand:  If I had just left things like this, I probably would have carried the election. But the Inquisition's job is only half done -- Catholicism is the law of the land, but Satanists and Alien worshippers are somehow still allowed to practice! Intolerable!   Somehow, even though for weeks Ireland's Constitution has been a literal marble statue of the Ten Commandments, this is the thing that pissed the EU off enough to kick Ireland out. Also, the ICC and the UN. And America closed its embassy. The law is mostly ignored by the Irish public, but this sudden global condemnation results in a 30% drop in popularity.  Most of the Cabinet resigns. Despite all this, our political party does very well in the election, and ends up as a close second in control of Parliament. But, for some reason, none of the parties seem to want Franklin Bower as their nation's leader. It's GAME OVER. On the other hand, Ireland is left as a theocratic hellhole, and the pariah of the world. As Barack Obama pointed out when someone accused him of causing the apocalypse (yes, really), destroying your country is quite a legacy to leave behind.  Good luck fixing your country, Burt.
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May 7, 2015 18:31
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You should have declared war on Northern Ireland just for a final gently caress you for the next guy to take over.
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May 7, 2015 19:25
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I demand that you spend the next game loving the assorted athletes and artists of your country.
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May 7, 2015 20:50
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Accordion Man posted:You should have declared war on Northern Ireland just for a final gently caress you for the next guy to take over. That makes me wonder if England can give Northern Ireland independence. What would happen if they did? Apart from everyone elected to Parliament actually showing up for it, I mean.
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May 7, 2015 21:44
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The Brotherhood of Lucifer was rioting at the end? The Church of Satan was an actual faction there? Re-requesting Revenge of the Knights Templar, Hail Baphomet.
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May 7, 2015 22:33
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Take control of Denmark and re-take Norway and Sweden.
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May 8, 2015 00:10
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Archenteron posted:The Brotherhood of Lucifer was rioting at the end? The Church of Satan was an actual faction there? Satanism, UFO worship, etc are regulated differently from major religions, but you can patronize and court them all the same. If you want to appoint satanists to the cabinet, you're perfectly free to do so -- I like to do this with the ministry of religion, for obvious reasons.
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May 8, 2015 00:16
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 Just something I was trying out. Invaded the Isle of Man as UK, and then the Channel Islands joined the war on their own. None of which makes any sense. corn in the bible fucked around with this message at 01:44 on May 8, 2015 |
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May 8, 2015 01:40
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 Try to find out which one of these is true.
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May 8, 2015 01:50
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| # ? May 6, 2024 22:27 |
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Great Joe posted:
Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity THUNDERDOME
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May 8, 2015 02:15
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