DaD Chat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP839hV_aBw

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > DaD Chat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP839hV_aBw

«‹›2012 »

The ideology eater: Oct 20, 2010; IT'S GARBAGE DAY AT WENDY'S FUCK YEAH WE EATIN GOOD TONIGHT

And tsa has joined the minimum wage thread

# ? May 12, 2015 00:44

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# ? May 29, 2024 16:35

GhostofJohnMuir: Aug 14, 2014; anime is not good

My Imaginary GF posted:

Is there a communist infestation at our national parks?

If they hire me then there will be.

# ? May 12, 2015 00:45

Jerry Manderbilt: May 31, 2012; No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

LorrdErnie posted:

And tsa has joined the minimum wage thread

i see he's up to his worthless concern trolling, as usual

p.s. where's that onion article, something like "area white guy bravely white knights issue that doesn't affect him"

# ? May 12, 2015 00:51

Stunning Honky: Sep 7, 2004; " . . . "

Jerry Manderbilt posted:

i see he's up to his worthless concern trolling, as usual

p.s. where's that onion article, something like "area white guy bravely white knights issue that doesn't affect him"

http://www.theonion.com/article/area-man-passionate-defender-of-what-he-imagines-c-2849

quote:

Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be

ESCONDIDO, CA�Spurred by an administration he believes to be guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 47, is a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head.

"Our very way of life is under siege," said Mortensen, whose understanding of the Constitution derives not from a close reading of the document but from talk-show pundits, books by television personalities, and the limitless expanse of his own colorful imagination. "It's time for true Americans to stand up and protect the values that make us who we are."

According to Mortensen�an otherwise mild-mannered husband, father, and small-business owner�the most serious threat to his fanciful version of the 222-year-old Constitution is the attempt by far-left "traitors" to strip it of its religious foundation.

"Right there in the preamble, the authors make their priorities clear: 'one nation under God,'" said Mortensen, attributing to the Constitution a line from the Pledge of Allegiance, which itself did not include any reference to a deity until 1954. "Well, there's a reason they put that right at the top."

"Men like Madison and Jefferson were moved by the ideals of Christianity, and wanted the United States to reflect those values as a Christian nation," continued Mortensen, referring to the "Father of the Constitution," James Madison, considered by many historians to be an atheist, and Thomas Jefferson, an Enlightenment-era thinker who rejected the divinity of Christ and was in France at the time the document was written. "The words on the page speak for themselves."

According to sources who have read the nation's charter, the U.S. Constitution and its 27 amendments do not contain the word "God" or "Christ."

Mortensen said his admiration for the loose assemblage of vague half-notions he calls the Constitution has only grown over time. He believes that each detail he has pulled from thin air�from prohibitions on sodomy and flag-burning, to mandatory crackdowns on immigrants, to the right of citizens not to have their hard-earned income confiscated in the form of taxes�has contributed to making it the best framework for governance "since the Ten Commandments."

"And let's not forget that when the Constitution was ratified it brought freedom to every single American," Mortensen said.

Mortensen's passion for safeguarding the elaborate fantasy world in which his conception of the Constitution resides is greatly respected by his likeminded friends and relatives, many of whom have been known to repeat his unfounded assertions verbatim when angered. Still, some friends and family members remain critical.

"Dad's great, but listening to all that talk radio has put some weird ideas into his head," said daughter Samantha, a freshman at Reed College in Portland, OR. "He believes the Constitution allows the government to torture people and ban gay marriage, yet he doesn't even know that it guarantees universal health care."

Mortensen told reporters that he'll fight until the bitter end for what he roughly supposes the Constitution to be. He acknowledged, however, that it might already be too late to win the battle.

"The freedoms our Founding Fathers spilled their blood for are vanishing before our eyes," Mortensen said. "In under a year, a fascist, socialist regime has turned a proud democracy into a totalitarian state that will soon control every facet of American life."

"Don't just take my word for it," Mortensen added. "Try reading a newspaper or watching the news sometime."

Stunning Honky fucked around with this message at 00:57 on May 12, 2015

# ? May 12, 2015 00:55

Jerry Manderbilt: May 31, 2012; No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

mooyashi posted:

http://www.theonion.com/article/area-man-passionate-defender-of-what-he-imagines-c-2849

not exactly what i was looking for but still a great read, thanks :tipshat:

# ? May 12, 2015 00:57

Berke Negri: Feb 15, 2012; Les Ricains tuent et moi je mue
Mao Mao
Les fous sont rois et moi je bois
Mao Mao
Les bombes tonnent et moi je sonne
Mao Mao
Les bebes fuient et moi je fuis
Mao Mao

nutranurse posted:

wow way to be racist and not include me in the shadowy cabal

oh there's african-american members but I can't say who they are or that they exist

# ? May 12, 2015 00:59

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

sinnlos whats your take on amero-irish dive bars in the remnants of rustbelt cities?

# ? May 12, 2015 01:00

Berke Negri: Feb 15, 2012; Les Ricains tuent et moi je mue
Mao Mao
Les fous sont rois et moi je bois
Mao Mao
Les bombes tonnent et moi je sonne
Mao Mao
Les bebes fuient et moi je fuis
Mao Mao

in fact, I'm not even here

# ? May 12, 2015 01:01

Stunning Honky: Sep 7, 2004; " . . . "

strictly speaking i believe i've never been anywhere

# ? May 12, 2015 01:06

Berke Negri: Feb 15, 2012; Les Ricains tuent et moi je mue
Mao Mao
Les fous sont rois et moi je bois
Mao Mao
Les bombes tonnent et moi je sonne
Mao Mao
Les bebes fuient et moi je fuis
Mao Mao

mooyashi posted:

strictly speaking i believe i've never been anywhere

right? this is just like that time when, oh

i'll just tell you elsewhere

# ? May 12, 2015 01:09

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

people who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer, they just like to pee a lot

# ? May 12, 2015 01:12

Alligator Horse: Mar 23, 2013

My Imaginary GF posted:

people who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer, they just like to pee a lot

who doesn't like peeing?

edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmLPqxSxTDI

# ? May 12, 2015 01:13

Majorian: Jul 1, 2009

Alligator Horse posted:

who doesn't like peeing?

edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmLPqxSxTDI

This made my day so much.

# ? May 12, 2015 01:16

Badger of Basra: Jul 26, 2007

working on my policy development final...

# ? May 12, 2015 01:20

Berke Negri: Feb 15, 2012; Les Ricains tuent et moi je mue
Mao Mao
Les fous sont rois et moi je bois
Mao Mao
Les bombes tonnent et moi je sonne
Mao Mao
Les bebes fuient et moi je fuis
Mao Mao

let me guess, childcare

# ? May 12, 2015 01:21

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Berke Negri posted:

my ideal MMO is where I almost never have to interact with another soul to get anything accomplished

SW tor is for you.

# ? May 12, 2015 01:23

Jerry Manderbilt: May 31, 2012; No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

Badger of Basra posted:

working on my policy development final...

hahahahahaha

# ? May 12, 2015 01:23

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Why would you build a space station in Iowa.

# ? May 12, 2015 01:24

site: Apr 6, 2007; Trans pride, Worldwide
Bitch

Badger of Basra posted:

working on my policy development final...

The secret to getting an a with your Aryan professor?

# ? May 12, 2015 01:24

Stunning Honky: Sep 7, 2004; " . . . "

euphronius posted:

Why would you build a space station in Iowa.

cunstichients

# ? May 12, 2015 01:25

I Killed GBS: Jun 2, 2011; by Lowtax

I want to strap Jedit to a table and force-feed him American chocolate

# ? May 12, 2015 01:28

MLKQUOTEMACHINE: Oct 22, 2012; Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

Badger of Basra posted:

working on my policy development final...

get back to me when you write a 90 page paper for your undergrad final :smug:

# ? May 12, 2015 01:29

atelier morgan: Mar 11, 2003; super-scientific, ultra-gay; Lipstick Apathy

Small Frozen Thing posted:

I want to strap Jedit to a table and force-feed him American chocolate

Please don't talk about committing war crimes itt

# ? May 12, 2015 01:31

Berke Negri: Feb 15, 2012; Les Ricains tuent et moi je mue
Mao Mao
Les fous sont rois et moi je bois
Mao Mao
Les bombes tonnent et moi je sonne
Mao Mao
Les bebes fuient et moi je fuis
Mao Mao

nutranurse posted:

get back to me when you write a 90 page paper for your undergrad final

haha why

# ? May 12, 2015 01:31

Jerry Manderbilt: May 31, 2012; No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

nutranurse posted:

get back to me when you write a 90 page paper for your undergrad final

what grad course are you taking that you have to do this

# ? May 12, 2015 01:32

I Killed GBS: Jun 2, 2011; by Lowtax

UberJew posted:

Please don't talk about committing war crimes itt

He deserves it and you know it

# ? May 12, 2015 01:32

site: Apr 6, 2007; Trans pride, Worldwide
Bitch

nutranurse posted:

get back to me when you write a 90 page paper for your undergrad final

You get to publish a monograph though, so that's cool.

# ? May 12, 2015 01:33

Homura and Sickle: Apr 21, 2013

Jerry Manderbilt posted:

what grad course are you taking that you have to do this

nutranurse actually just photoshops oranges into things for grad school

# ? May 12, 2015 01:33

MLKQUOTEMACHINE: Oct 22, 2012; Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

Majorian posted:

This made my day so much.

BMO is a treasure :3:

# ? May 12, 2015 01:33

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Badger of Basra posted:

working on my policy development final...

Berke Negri posted:

let me guess, childcare

# ? May 12, 2015 01:33

MLKQUOTEMACHINE: Oct 22, 2012; Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

Jerry Manderbilt posted:

what grad course are you taking that you have to do this

UNDERgrad, had to do a senior thesis to get my degree, i did it on servile roles in shakespeare and roman comedies and how they communicate to us that rich people suck across all eras

# ? May 12, 2015 01:35

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

Badger of Basra posted:

working on my policy development final...

tell me the topic

i will provide statements which will motivate you to write several thousand works

# ? May 12, 2015 01:35

I Killed GBS: Jun 2, 2011; by Lowtax

Sergg is weird, I don't get him

# ? May 12, 2015 01:35

MLKQUOTEMACHINE: Oct 22, 2012; Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

Jagchosis posted:

nutranurse actually just photoshops oranges into things for grad school

yeah and im gonna get a career out of it, which is way more than my undergrad degrees ever got me

# ? May 12, 2015 01:36

Jerry Manderbilt: May 31, 2012; No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.

nutranurse posted:

UNDERgrad, had to do a senior thesis to get my degree, i did it on servile roles in shakespeare and roman comedies and how they communicate to us that rich people suck across all eras

nice

# ? May 12, 2015 01:37

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

holy poo poo impromptu bluegrass at this irish dive bar brough out harmonica

harmonica bluegrass gently caress'n owns! Yeauuhhhhhh

# ? May 12, 2015 01:38

Badger of Basra: Jul 26, 2007

nutranurse posted:

i did it of my own volition

UNDERgrad, had to do a senior thesis to get my degree, i did it on servile roles in shakespeare and roman comedies and how they communicate to us that rich people suck across all eras

boooooring

# ? May 12, 2015 01:39

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

nutranurse posted:

i did it of my own volition

UNDERgrad, had to do a senior thesis to get my degree, i did it on servile roles in shakespeare and roman comedies and how they communicate to us that rich people suck across all eras

i did my senior thesis on a breakdown of the "contributions" ike paid via highway funds in order to end segregation in the military

hint: ike's chief of staff knew how to gently caress over racist motherfuckers better than anyone else in america during the 50s, including MLK.

motherfucker was baller with quid pro quo's. Bring back line item spending! RESTORE GRAFT TO AMERICA!!!! TO DEFEAT COMMUNISM!

# ? May 12, 2015 01:41

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

yo, dadchatthread

rust belt bluegrass loving owns

go loving support your local bluegrass musicians with a pitcher of PBR today ya communist motherfuckers

if the counterrevolution supplies better beer, i will lead the reactionary charge

# ? May 12, 2015 01:45

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# ? May 29, 2024 16:35

Spaceman Future!: Feb 9, 2007

My Imaginary GF posted:

yo, dadchatthread

rust belt bluegrass loving owns

go loving support your local bluegrass musicians with a pitcher of PBR today ya communist motherfuckers

if the counterrevolution supplies better beer, i will lead the reactionary charge

why do you want to poison the musicians

dont you want to be nice to them

# ? May 12, 2015 01:46

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > DaD Chat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP839hV_aBw

«‹›2012 »