~*Burger Thread*~ Both a hairy pubis and a good burger are quite juicy when munched.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > ~*Burger Thread*~ Both a hairy pubis and a good burger are quite juicy when munched.

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Big Willy Style: Feb 11, 2007; How many Astartes do you know that roll like this?

I will probably try this as well in 4 hrs time but I remain skeptical. This is what first popped into my brain when you guys started talking about it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cB7A4gxGHA

# ? May 19, 2015 18:47

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# ? May 14, 2024 17:21

Jehde: Apr 21, 2010

Palpek posted:

They serve it without any sauce as they believe it's a too intense taste that dominates the meat.

And a thick rear end slice of tomato doesn't? :psyduck:

I'm glad that burgers have evolved past its primitive origins. It's like pizza, margherita is a neat novelty and all but give me a slice of pepperoni any day please.

Edit: Looked into it a bit more, turns out the first ever burger was actually invented by Otto Kuase in Hamburg in 1891, which better fits what I originally thought. Apparently it was originally a sandwich with a beef patty cooked in butter topped with a fried egg, which sounds better tbh. Louis Lassen was the the first to serve a burger in America though in 1900, which then went on to be popular at the 1904 World's Fair.

Jehde fucked around with this message at 19:13 on May 19, 2015

# ? May 19, 2015 18:47

Big Willy Style: Feb 11, 2007; How many Astartes do you know that roll like this?

to be fair lots of tomato is tasteless poo poo unless it is in season or is a cherry tomato.

Fetus Tree posted:

The fact that you've never heard of anybody doing that is indicative more about you than anything about me

it indicates that i have never heard of people doing it before.

# ? May 19, 2015 18:54

poemdexter: Feb 18, 2005; Hooray Indie Games!; College Slice

I just got home from a long weekend and pulled out my sourdough starter last night. Fed it after it went to room temperature. I see burgers with homemade buns in my future...

# ? May 19, 2015 19:01

klen dool: May 7, 2007; Okay well me being wrong in some limited situations doesn't change my overall point.

gently caress I love burgs. We have some pretty good burgs where I am from (beetroot and egg gently caress yeah) but I went to Hawaii and ate some american cooked burgs and holy poo poo what do you do to them!?!?

First it was all like "how do you want it cooked" - and I almost laughed, who asks a question like that about some lovely burger? But I responded with medium rare, which is how I eat steak. Then it came out. Its was big, it looked delicious,and when I bit into it I realised the error of my ways.

The beef was juicy and rare, but the outside of the patty was black and near crunchy. I think that's the key, and I ate many burgs while I was in Hawaii, and they all had this caramelisation and it was glorious. Maybe it was the volcanic grass they ate, but I think it was the cooking method that made them tasty.

Thank you yanks for showing me that burgs can be elevated to more than just a fast food lazy meal.

P.S. loco moco is also amazing, and I think its relevant because loco moco has a burger patty on it.

# ? May 19, 2015 21:36

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

klen dool posted:

gently caress I love burgs. We have some pretty good burgs where I am from (beetroot and egg gently caress yeah) but I went to Hawaii and ate some american cooked burgs and holy poo poo what do you do to them!?!?

First it was all like "how do you want it cooked" - and I almost laughed, who asks a question like that about some lovely burger? But I responded with medium rare, which is how I eat steak. Then it came out. Its was big, it looked delicious,and when I bit into it I realised the error of my ways.

The beef was juicy and rare, but the outside of the patty was black and near crunchy. I think that's the key, and I ate many burgs while I was in Hawaii, and they all had this caramelisation and it was glorious. Maybe it was the volcanic grass they ate, but I think it was the cooking method that made them tasty.

Thank you yanks for showing me that burgs can be elevated to more than just a fast food lazy meal.

P.S. loco moco is also amazing, and I think its relevant because loco moco has a burger patty on it.

I think this is a really good post and opinion

# ? May 19, 2015 21:40

Norns: Nov 21, 2011; Senior Shitposting Strategist

Loco Moco is divine.

# ? May 19, 2015 22:28

Gwaihir: Dec 8, 2009; Hair Elf

klen dool posted:

gently caress I love burgs. We have some pretty good burgs where I am from (beetroot and egg gently caress yeah) but I went to Hawaii and ate some american cooked burgs and holy poo poo what do you do to them!?!?

First it was all like "how do you want it cooked" - and I almost laughed, who asks a question like that about some lovely burger? But I responded with medium rare, which is how I eat steak. Then it came out. Its was big, it looked delicious,and when I bit into it I realised the error of my ways.

The beef was juicy and rare, but the outside of the patty was black and near crunchy. I think that's the key, and I ate many burgs while I was in Hawaii, and they all had this caramelisation and it was glorious. Maybe it was the volcanic grass they ate, but I think it was the cooking method that made them tasty.

Thank you yanks for showing me that burgs can be elevated to more than just a fast food lazy meal.

P.S. loco moco is also amazing, and I think its relevant because loco moco has a burger patty on it.

burgs with no crusty browning on the meat are the saddest possible burgs

# ? May 19, 2015 22:34

Disco Salmon: Jun 19, 2004

Norns posted:

Loco Moco is divine.

Truly it is food of the gods. When we went to Hawaii a few years back, I think I had this about 2x a day.

# ? May 19, 2015 22:47

Polio Vax Scene: Apr 5, 2009

lol if you image search Loco Moco, every single image has a fried egg

# ? May 19, 2015 22:53

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

The Midniter posted:

When I worked at Five Guys,

thank you for giving dad gay so what gout

# ? May 20, 2015 00:04

canoshiz: Nov 6, 2005; THANK GOD FOR THE SMOKE MACHINE!

Manslaughter posted:

lol if you image search Loco Moco, every single image has a fried egg

That's literally a key component of the dish. White sticky rice, hamburger patty, fried egg, brown gravy. Enjoy with macaroni salad and copious amounts of Tabasco. hell yeah

Teri (as in teriyaki glazed) burgers in Hawaii also own a lot. Any random little dingy plate lunch place will serve them and they are fantastic.

# ? May 20, 2015 00:29

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Manslaughter posted:

lol if you image search Loco Moco, every single image has a fried egg

Finally a restaurant that gets it, an egg makes everything better.

# ? May 20, 2015 00:35

Polio Vax Scene: Apr 5, 2009

Oh jeez I thought that was the name of a restaurant not a dish. My bad!

# ? May 20, 2015 00:45

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

Manslaughter posted:

Oh jeez I thought that was the name of a restaurant not a dish. My bad!

it's both, you're still wrong

# ? May 20, 2015 00:47

Norns: Nov 21, 2011; Senior Shitposting Strategist

Manslaughter posted:

lol if you image search Loco Moco, every single image has a fried egg

That's part of the dish. Also fried eggs are one of the best things on this earth.

# ? May 20, 2015 00:56

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Sometimes I eat fried eggs by themselves. :stonk:

# ? May 20, 2015 01:00

klen dool: May 7, 2007; Okay well me being wrong in some limited situations doesn't change my overall point.

Loco moco seems like a dish conceived by a hangover addled bachelor. Literally "what's in the fridge, left over rice, an egg, a burger and left over brown sauce".

Despite that, I think the dish can be prepared in such a way that it rivals even the most smug eggs benedict in both taste and skill to produce.

How do people cook their patties? I have a stainless steel pan, a non stick pan, a sandwich press that gets pretty drat hot, a oven with gas elements, a lovely gas powered BBQ (and my gas is empty) and a charcoal BBQ.

I usually just fry them, but its just not the same.

# ? May 20, 2015 02:35

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

klen dool posted:

Loco moco seems like a dish conceived by a hangover addled bachelor. Literally "what's in the fridge, left over rice, an egg, a burger and left over brown sauce".

Despite that, I think the dish can be prepared in such a way that it rivals even the most smug eggs benedict in both taste and skill to produce.

ehhnnn, not really. egg's benedict is a quality thing. at heart, loco moco is meant to be filling. that is, at it's peak, it is competently made and it can't really aspire to be anything more. use rice that isn't old, form up a decent hamburger steak, get fresh eggs and fry them so they're fried and don't just seem poached, that is essentially the apex of the thing. the only real window for improvement or distinguishing between ability and, like, craft is how much effort goes into making the gravy. even there, man, poo poo packet gravy mix isn't exactly bad.

# ? May 20, 2015 02:52

ColHannibal: Sep 17, 2007

I have traveled the lands from California to Nebraska, and I have tasted the meats from In n' out to Runza, but I shall declare that Freddy's Steakburger is the fast food burger champ.

Something about their meat patties, with that griddle browning sets my heart aflame.

Go visit your local burger church.

# ? May 20, 2015 03:52

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

i wanna insert that into my body

# ? May 20, 2015 03:56

ColHannibal: Sep 17, 2007

Chinatown posted:

i wanna insert that into my body

http://www.freddysusa.com/Locations/

Find them, go to them.

# ? May 20, 2015 04:01

Moey: Oct 22, 2010; I LIKE TO MOVE IT

ColHannibal posted:

http://www.freddysusa.com/Locations/

Find them, go to them.

Wife wants to head down to Denver this weekend, I'll pretend it's because of this burger. Will report after.

# ? May 20, 2015 04:56

ColHannibal: Sep 17, 2007

Moey posted:

Wife wants to head down to Denver this weekend, I'll pretend it's because of this burger. Will report after.

Have to get the double btw, single is wrong ratio of meat/bun. And California Style means lettuce and Tomato.

# ? May 20, 2015 05:16

janssendalt: May 7, 2015

Nation posted:

I see a good future ahead for you, burg in peace

Thank you, brother.

BIP

The Midniter posted:

When I worked at Five Guys, we toasted the hamburger buns without anything on them just on the flattop, but for those customers who asked for grilled cheese, we used a thin layer of mayo which griddles up to a beautiful golden brown. This is because Five Guys doesn't use butter of any kind, and they're not going to stock it just for the twelve grilled cheeses they sell per day. No one can tell the different and it works quite beautifully.

Of course when I worked there I griddled the buns for my employee meal with mayo and had a triple patty burger. It was great, until after I quit working there I swore off burgs for 18 months...couldn't even look at them.

Now I am rehabilitated, and frequently burg like any normal person should.

Holy poo poo, this sounds very good. I will apply this on Saturday (my burg day every week) at home and will post report with pics.

klen dool posted:

Thank you yanks for showing me that burgs can be elevated to more than just a fast food lazy meal.

Exactly.
I mean, not to be a loving snob, as a simple burg can always be as delicious as anything else, but if you put some effort into it, burgs can be pretty sofisticated dishes too:

https://www.cheeseandburger.com

# ? May 20, 2015 07:04

His Divine Shadow: Aug 7, 2000; I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.

Oh so burgers with toast instead of fancy buns are OK? Cause that's how I most often prefer my burgers (easy, tasty, less bread to content ratio) but I didn't like to take photos of my depraved ways.

# ? May 20, 2015 11:20

Gwaihir: Dec 8, 2009; Hair Elf

klen dool posted:

Loco moco seems like a dish conceived by a hangover addled bachelor. Literally "what's in the fridge, left over rice, an egg, a burger and left over brown sauce".

Despite that, I think the dish can be prepared in such a way that it rivals even the most smug eggs benedict in both taste and skill to produce.

How do people cook their patties? I have a stainless steel pan, a non stick pan, a sandwich press that gets pretty drat hot, a oven with gas elements, a lovely gas powered BBQ (and my gas is empty) and a charcoal BBQ.

I usually just fry them, but its just not the same.

You want the stainless steel or a cast iron pan for best burging. Non stick doesn't do well with getting heated up to the blisteringly hot temps you want for good crust formation. I like the charcoal grill for thick pub style burgers though.

If you're in love with the crust, let this be your guide: http://www.seriouseats.com/2014/03/the-food-lab-maximize-flavor-by-ultra-smashin.html

Preview image is all that's really needed imo: (Also warning this will end up with a shitload of smoke in your kitchen and everything smelling like burger. Which isn't the worst thing in the world)

# ? May 20, 2015 14:41

Fenrir: Apr 26, 2005; I found my kendo stick, bitch!; Lipstick Apathy

ColHannibal posted:

I have traveled the lands from California to Nebraska, and I have tasted the meats from In n' out to Runza, but I shall declare that Freddy's Steakburger is the fast food burger champ.

Something about their meat patties, with that griddle browning sets my heart aflame.

Go visit your local burger church.

drat, that's a nice lookin' burg. Also would on those cheese fries.

# ? May 20, 2015 15:23

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

This counts as a burg right? Would

# ? May 20, 2015 16:54

a whole buncha crows: May 8, 2003; WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

I see what you did there

# ? May 20, 2015 17:08

rockcity: Jan 16, 2004

Palpek posted:

How burgers are still served in the first hamburger restaurant in the US and where allegedly the burg was invented - Louis' Lunch:

They serve it without any sauce as they believe it's a too intense taste that dominates the meat.

I ate there a few months ago. Not bad for what it is, but nothing to write home about. The meat quaility is pretty good and they get a nice char to it, but it just needs something more to it. It's worth the experience though.

# ? May 20, 2015 17:16

Proust Malone: Apr 4, 2008

canoshiz posted:

That's literally a key component of the dish. White sticky rice, hamburger patty, fried egg, brown gravy. Enjoy with macaroni salad and copious amounts of Tabasco. hell yeah

Teri (as in teriyaki glazed) burgers in Hawaii also own a lot. Any random little dingy plate lunch place will serve them and they are fantastic.

If you ever find yourself in Honolulu, go to W&m Burger in Kaimuki

Not huge burgers, but cooked well and good ingredients. They're the in-n-out of hawaii.

# ? May 20, 2015 17:18

Force de Fappe: Nov 7, 2008

Palpek posted:

How burgers are still served in the first hamburger restaurant in the US and where allegedly the burg was invented - Louis' Lunch:

They serve it without any sauce as they believe it's a too intense taste that dominates the meat.

Been there, burged. Also had potato salad. Burgs were awesome. The whole place is really weird and there's this weird Venn diagram overlap where there's both lots of locals and lots of tourists, co-existing in peace :unsmith:

I was told about the place the night before by a guy who sat next to us at Frank Pepe's who sounded like he came straight outta Sopranos, New Haven is a good town. Best pizza, great burgers.

# ? May 20, 2015 17:20

RideTheSpiral: Sep 18, 2005; College Slice

i just improvised

lamb, with gouda, pickled tomatoes, gherkins and a kalamata olive mayonaise

be gentle burg thread

# ? May 20, 2015 18:17

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

whenever i read gherkin i automatically think merkin

# ? May 20, 2015 18:19

kloa: Feb 14, 2007

RideTheSpiral posted:

i just improvised

lamb, with gouda, pickled tomatoes, gherkins and a kalamata olive mayonaise

be gentle burg thread

would x2

# ? May 20, 2015 23:31

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

RideTheSpiral posted:

i just improvised

lamb, with gouda, pickled tomatoes, gherkins and a kalamata olive mayonaise

be gentle burg thread

delightful

# ? May 20, 2015 23:32

Proust Malone: Apr 4, 2008

RideTheSpiral posted:

i just improvised

lamb, with gouda, pickled tomatoes, gherkins and a kalamata olive mayonaise

be gentle burg thread

That sauce looks kinda nasty, but dat burger..

# ? May 21, 2015 00:06

Errant Gin Monks: Oct 2, 2009; "Yeah..."
- Marshawn Lynch

RideTheSpiral posted:

i just improvised

lamb, with gouda, pickled tomatoes, gherkins and a kalamata olive mayonaise

be gentle burg thread

This looks delicious, but where is the bun ?

I need a bun to burg.

# ? May 21, 2015 02:04

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# ? May 14, 2024 17:21

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

Lettuce not judge him for his lack of bun

# ? May 21, 2015 02:06

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > ~*Burger Thread*~ Both a hairy pubis and a good burger are quite juicy when munched.

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