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Yes let the blood flow anew! Also anyone who hasn't gotten their Mad Max name here http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3721924 Should. Now I know what to name my next Gladiator.
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May 26, 2015 22:57
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Knobby noooooooooo!
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May 26, 2015 23:02
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Holy poo poo I am about to run the next fight and loving cracked up when looking at the skills of the guys. This should be the worlds Well done, Tunicate and unwantedplatypus. You both called the skills of your opponent and negated them. Edit: Holy poo poo I'm going to have to loving call this fight. It's been how long running at full speed? 20 minutes? Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 13:42 on May 27, 2015 |
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May 27, 2015 13:03
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Spermy Smurf posted:Holy poo poo I am about to run the next fight and loving cracked up when looking at the skills of the guys. This should be the worlds We're making history!
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May 27, 2015 13:53
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Whoever dies of old age first loses.
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May 27, 2015 14:03
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Spermy Smurf posted:Edit: Holy poo poo I'm going to have to loving call this fight. It's been how long running at full speed? 20 minutes? Someone will die of infection sooner or later. 
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May 27, 2015 14:35
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 Round 2, Fight 2First things first: gently caress you guys. I have 90 screenshots and 9 GIFs to edit and sort through.  GBS is a male Minotaur fighter managed by unwantedplatypus. He is layered in Bronze armor and carries a shield. His weapons are fists, feet, and the People's Elbow. Floss Thrice Daily is a female Serpent Man fighter managed by Tunicate. She is layered in an assortment of armor. Her chest and head are glowing blue. Her weapons are his nasty looking teeth and the Stone Cold Stunner.  The initial salvo of attacks are deflected by GBS's armor, then dodged by Floss Thrice Daily.  Then it gets interesting. Floss Thrice Daily latches on to the minotaurs foot, bruising muscle through the copper boot but failing to penetrate and inject venom. GBS returns the favor by kicking the serpentman right in his stupid loving nose, collapsing the part into a pile of gore. Floss Thrice Daily: Can it all end sssso quickly? Begone fear!  The gladiators exchange another round of blows. Floss Thrice biting GBS in the upper leg, but only managing to bruise muscle through the mail shirt.  GBS scratches the serpentwoman in the tail, tearing muscle and bruising bone. A sensory nerve is severed, Floss Thrice Daily falls over. That'll do it. Pack your bags everyone, we're out of here in just a few minutes. Floss Thrice Daily: I've been injured badly. I feel hopelesssssss.  With Flossy unable to dodge, GBS goes to town with beatings. The oak shield smashes a few things, his fists and feet smash other things. An eye is destroyed, and a horn fails to penetrate armor but manages to bruise guts. Both hands are mangled beyond recognition.   Oooooh boy, Flossy is down and out! That'll do it.  Oh no. Don't loving do this. GBS over-exerts himself from punching the inert serpentwoman.  Floss Thrice Daily shakes off the pain, wakes up and passes out thrice more, wakes up again, and finally scratches the huge minotaur in the teeth. Minotaur teeth go flying in every direction!   Floss Thrice is now the puncher instead of punchee. Too bad she can't get through the minotaurs armor. Instead the snakewoman bites GBS in the head and shakes vigorously. That hosed up GBS pretty good.  Then she passes out from exertion and collapses next to the minotaur. Who will wake up first?  Flossy does! Then she punches for a while, then over-exerts, stuns herself, and passes out again.  Here she is stunned after 10 minutes of the game just going full speed.  20 minutes of full-speed gameplay later GBS is almost entirely healed. The only pain is the dent in his head, which has kept him unconscious this entire time. The bruises on his leg have healed completely. gently caress, Flossy is close to regrowing her loving eye at this point. She passes out again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.  Finally, mercifully, GBS dies of blood loss. Winner: Floss Thrice Daily Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:43 on May 27, 2015 |
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May 27, 2015 14:40
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Hahahahah goddamn when you said the log was 20 minutes long I didnt expect that to be the reason. Edge of your seat action.
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May 27, 2015 14:42
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So, is this the longest fight? I seem to remember one in which an archer beat a prone foe with their bow long enough to rank up from 1 to a lot more than one in whatever the "Bash people's heads in with your bow" skill is.
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May 27, 2015 15:04
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I guess we're either very good at making fighters, or very very very bad.
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May 27, 2015 15:09
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Snakemen OP
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May 27, 2015 15:37
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unwantedplatypus posted:Snakemen OP I certainly hope so.
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May 27, 2015 15:51
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The final match is serpentman vs serpentwoman, and lasts so long the female lays eggs, the eggs hatch, and the children divide up to start a generations-long feud. The commish is forced to leave the fight running overnight, and wakes up to find a thriving serpentperson civilization has colonized the arena. In the featureless, resource-scarce waste of the arena, is no team 1 or team 2, there are only united snakes on the plane.
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May 27, 2015 15:58
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Doobeedoo posted:So, is this the longest fight? I seem to remember one in which an archer beat a prone foe with their bow long enough to rank up from 1 to a lot more than one in whatever the "Bash people's heads in with your bow" skill is. Its not even the longest fight of this tournament. 2200 lines was the minotaur/moleman fight last round. This was only 700 lines in the log. It just took so much more time because everyone was unconscious for about 15 minutes of realtime, awake to punch twice, then fall back unconscious.
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May 27, 2015 16:01
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Round 2, Fight 3 The Skewer is a male Kobold fighter managed by Ramc. His hands hold a steel spear, leather armor graces his chest. Urist McMuntcuffin is a female Dwarf fighter managed by Zwingley. He has a copper war hammer, and a leather hat. The fighters are very very very evenly matched skill-wise. If you can't figure out which one is the dwarf Urist and which is a Kobold then I don't know what to tell you. I refuse to write it out.  The fighters circle, parrying and dodging for a quick moment.  Urist charges toward the smaller opponent, his weapon doesn't have the reach so he has to press teh attack. The Skewer skewers the dwarfs neck when he gets close enough. Luckily, it's just his neck and upper spine that fractured. As we've seen in this tournament it's not a major wound.  Urist has the small Kobolds weapon trapped in his neck, so he gets a free swing! The Skewer takes a blow through the leather armor, bruising guts.  The Skewer is deadly as poo poo. He twists and yanks the spear free, has a few blows dodged, then lands a stab to the poor dwarfs foot. Urist goes down from pain.  One more stab through the cow leather cap ends the fight. Winner: The Skewer Combat Log
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May 27, 2015 20:40
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A lot closer than it seems. Had the dwarf's hit in the gut had a little more power, the kobold would have gotten rather debilitating nausea.
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May 27, 2015 20:47
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my dad posted:A lot closer than it seems. Had the dwarf's hit in the gut had a little more power, the kobold would have gotten rather debilitating nausea. Yeah, he hit the only spot that had leather armor. A hit to any other bodypart (thigh, arm, whatever) would have probably broken it and caused a weapon drop or falling over at least. On another note: I suck at betting this round. On another-another note: I will most likely not update tomorrow at all. Might be able to run one more today if there is interest, but 3 fights in 1 day might be overdoing it?
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May 27, 2015 20:58
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Spermy Smurf posted:but 3 fights in 1 day might be overdoing it? I say, burn yourself to a crisp. Type until your fingers bleed, and then keep typing.
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May 27, 2015 21:00
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Spermy Smurf posted:On another-another note: I will most likely not update tomorrow at all. Might be able to run one more today if there is interest, but 3 fights in 1 day might be overdoing it? MORE! There's plenty of time for delays once you start doing effort-posts.
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May 27, 2015 21:05
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Round 3, Fight 3 Fan Favourite Joss Whedon is a male Strangler fighter managed by Coward who wields an iron pick in his hands. Gob son of Gob is a male Goblin fighter managed by Afriscipio. His weapon is a steel spear, and a smattering of iron and leather armor.  Tried something new with the screenshot, different way to show injuries. It was absolutely 100% not because I don't know how to scroll down to view foot damage. Gob and Joss trade blows. Joss lands two blows easily, but both are deflected by armor. Joss Whedon ducks a blow and then strikes Gob in the foot.  Again, this has no bearing on my inability to scroll down to show damage. Gob son of Gob returns the favor immediately by stabbing one of Joss's arms into uslessicity.  Joss yells that two can play at that game, completely forgetting he started it. The next swing of that iron pick goes through the muscle of Gob's chest and shatters the spine. Gob goes down.  Having a little trouble getting through that helmet, Joss?  Blood continues to fly around the arena while Joss is frustrated by the iron helmet that Gob wears.  That's one way to do it. Poke enough holes in him and he'll bleed out. Winner: The British Strangler, Fan Favourite Joss Whedon Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 21:29 on May 27, 2015 |
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May 27, 2015 21:27
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Late, but  Urist.I feel like I should be using a bladed weapon. But I'm gonna make a Hammerdwarf work eventually, dammit.
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May 27, 2015 21:46
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Fan favourite Joss Whedon is going to go to the semifinals but then get dropped by Fox.
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May 27, 2015 21:47
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Next up: Tin Can.  In two days. 
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May 27, 2015 22:00
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Spermy Smurf posted:The Skewer is deadly as poo poo.  Two dwarves down.
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May 27, 2015 22:58
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Reptilians loving poo poo up.
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May 28, 2015 03:13
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my dad posted:Next up: Tin Can. You're in luck! I had a few minutes this morning thanks to a drat dog barking at a bird at 4am.... Round 2, Fight 5 Sargon is a male Human fighter managed by iLonie. He carries a steel sword, shield, and a bunch of leather armor. Tin Can is a female Serpent Man fighter managed by my dad. She's incredibly well protected with a few blue items and a few steel items. In her hands is a war hammer.  The gladiators meet in the center, Sargons attack is batted aside with contempt. Tin Can smashes Sargon in the right hand with her hammer, fracturing bone.  Sargon drops his shield.  Tin Can bites Sargon in the right calf, but only causes a bruise through the leather armor. Sargon kicks Tin Can in the head, but only manages to bruise his foot on the adamantium helm of the snakewoman. Sargon strikes twice in rapid succession but fails to penetrate armor either time. He has no chance of getting through the adamantium gauntlets. Tin Can takes a hit to the armor and wades forward to smash his hammer down on Sargons left thigh. The bone is fractured, chipped, and Sargon falls over in massive pain. Sargon: I've been wounded. It's annoying.  Tin Can smashes his hammer down on the prone humans ankle which shatters the bone into the muscle. Sargon passes out from pain.  Down comes the copper war hammer twice in a row and Sargon is no more. Winner by a longshot: Tin Can Combat Log Holy poo poo Tin Can is deadly. How much DF do you play, my dad?
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May 28, 2015 13:07
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No idea how you come up with these builds, my dad, but they're definitely effective. Didn't expect the copper hammer after your first round, but you've managed to skill up to reliably breaking bones. Tin Can's looking like a serious challenger. I wonder if it'll work on a larger fighter? I'm starting to think that the points difference between large and small needs to be reduced now that charging isn't as big a factor. We're starting to see the medium to small size fighters dominate and the larger ones getting left by the wayside. There are only two large fighters left in this tournament (yeti and troll), and few to none in the final rounds of the team tourney. Bene Elim fucked around with this message at 15:13 on May 28, 2015 |
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May 28, 2015 15:02
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I'm not sure that a chipped bone in the foot should immediately down someone when a shattered bone in the neck doesn't.
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May 28, 2015 15:05
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Seriously, how much weapon skill did Tin Can have? Sargon was 8 sword and dodging and got massacred. Assumed you'd stay predominantly bitey so covered in leather to avoid that, didn't expect to get battered by a hammer.
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May 28, 2015 17:17
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Glowy blue gauntlets are pretty cool.
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May 28, 2015 17:36
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iLonie posted:Seriously, how much weapon skill did Tin Can have? Sargon was 8 sword and dodging and got massacred. Assumed you'd stay predominantly bitey so covered in leather to avoid that, didn't expect to get battered by a hammer. Can't tell you till the tournament is over or Tin Can is out. His armor turned every single attack, and Sargon landed a lot more attacks (just all deflected by armor) till he went down and out.
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May 28, 2015 21:50
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Anyone ready for a bloody afternoon? Other than today, next update will be Monday. We may need to get to a new page because there might be 5 fights run in the next 3 hours.
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May 29, 2015 17:09
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I am ready to watch the carnage and increase the post count.
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May 29, 2015 17:15
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Apparently there are only 3 fights left this round. Ah well.
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May 29, 2015 17:17
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That's okay. Post those 3 fights anyway!
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May 29, 2015 17:19
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And then re-run mine since you clearly botched it the first time!
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May 29, 2015 17:22
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You'll just lose again.
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May 29, 2015 17:23
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And lose hard.
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May 29, 2015 17:24
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Only after I obliterate my opponent and Spermy Smurf has to spawn a dozen adamantine cave crocodiles to even the odds against me.
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May 29, 2015 17:25
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| # ? May 30, 2024 06:05 |
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I didn't say how you'd lose to be fair.
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May 29, 2015 17:26
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