Military Pictures and Youtube Thread - I'm a Tomcat guy and a homo

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Military Pictures and Youtube Thread - I'm a Tomcat guy and a homo

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Duke Chin: Jan 11, 2002; _{^{Roger That:}}
MILK CRATES INBOUND

_{_{^{- FUCK THE HABS -}}}

Dilettante. posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TxrNpdi8fE

Sometimes you just gotta fight fabulous, baby. :gay:

lol combat fruit boots

# ? Jun 5, 2015 00:24

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 14:37

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

Dilettante. posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TxrNpdi8fE

i would reup if they let me do poo poo like that

# ? Jun 5, 2015 00:32

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

I would reup if I could wear combat skates; reclass to a super-sham MOS; get choice of duty station; a $60k bonus; a no-poo poo no-shave chit, with no stipulations and no expiration, and with a signature from the Commander in Chief; and a 16oz. jar of magic pixie dust that grants wishes. :toxx:

# ? Jun 5, 2015 03:08

Proust Malone: Apr 4, 2008

http://www.gfycat.com/CourteousFarflungAfricanbushviper

# ? Jun 5, 2015 05:07

OBi: Feb 27, 2005; HQ BN A CO BEARMAT
2001-2005. The POG-est.

Saw this on reddit, some pretty sweet images:

Two Weeks In The Chechnyan Mountains (May, 1995)

# ? Jun 5, 2015 05:12

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Ron Jeremy posted:

http://www.gfycat.com/CourteousFarflungAfricanbushviper

That's neat, looks conventional. Operation Sailor Hat?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Sailor_Hat

# ? Jun 5, 2015 05:12

Proust Malone: Apr 4, 2008

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

That's neat, looks conventional. Operation Sailor Hat?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Sailor_Hat

That's the one. Winner winner chicken dinner.

# ? Jun 5, 2015 05:56

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

OBi posted:

Saw this on reddit, some pretty sweet images:

Two Weeks In The Chechnyan Mountains (May, 1995)

Is it just me or does the average Russian soldier always look sketchy as gently caress? It's looks like they formed entire battalions out of date rapists and public masturbators.

# ? Jun 5, 2015 14:25

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

How's that different from the US army?

# ? Jun 5, 2015 14:47

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

not caring here posted:

How's that different from the US army?

They're conscripted whereas in the U.S. army they get waivers.

# ? Jun 5, 2015 14:56

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

movax posted:

What happened

Partially we did it to ourselves. Combat squadrons used to be run with about the same level of professionalism and bawdy singing as a club rugby team, which was fun, but also led to a tendency among members to look the other way when their peers got handsy with women, nonstop drunk, or just plain old rapey. People these days have come to expect a little bit more of organizations that are entrusted with hundreds of millions of dollars of taxpayer equipment and also sometimes nuclear weapons. In order to prove to the people who pay our salaries that, "No, honey, I've changed, it'll be different this time," it was declared that squadrons were no longer allowed to sing songs about sodomizing people with broken glass bottles at work, and also had to stop putting pornography on their jets... and in the bathrooms... and on the computer network, you guys know this is a rule at like literally every other non-construction job, right? Of course, Big Blue took it too far and bowdlerized literally every example of potentially of potentially offensive material irrespective of context or historic value. Fun police are gonna police fun, but we're the ones that let them in without a warrant.

Fortunately, there are still some places that keep nose art going. It tends to be more "Moto heavy metal van" than naked chicks these days though. B-1Bs provide a nice big canvas:

Just for kicks:

And the Pittsburgh ANG does not give a gently caress:

Sauer posted:

I've always wondered if the guy flying the boom get serious butt pucker when fueling an F-22. The skin on that plane is kind of expensive and every picture I've seen of deployed aircraft shows the area around the refueling port totally beat to poo poo. I imagine it has a skid plate leading into the port that is just plain old aluminum but all it takes it one small twitch of the stick and you've put a dent in a panel that costs tax payers more than your GI bill benefits ever will.

Eh, not really. Any contact outside the receptacle is Double Plus Ungood and will get a boom reamed, but at the end of the day it's an understood cost of doing business, especially if you want your gas at night or in rough weather. It's a persistent story that if you make contact outside the receptacle on a B-2 or F-117 that they impound the jet after landing until OSI can collect the top secret paint flakes from the tip of the boom, but I think that's just a story they tell baby booms to scare them. The aircraft most consistently described as pucker-inducing was the F-4 Phantom, which didn't have a slipway so much as an itty bitty hole. I believe the old T/O actually called for greasing the boom if practical before flights planned to refuel F-4s.

Compare the F-4 to the trashcan-like receptacle on the B-52:

Dead Reckoning fucked around with this message at 19:11 on Jun 5, 2015

# ? Jun 5, 2015 19:08

Spacman: Mar 18, 2014

# ? Jun 5, 2015 19:22

Handsome Ralph: Sep 3, 2004; Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!

Dead Reckoning posted:

Oh my god, some sperglord added the tail number of the Jaguar with the Buster Gonad nose art to his wikipedia page.

I've always been a fan of pun nose art. (Duke Spook and Libra aren't puns, I know.)

Alarm Belle

Overexposed

Squirter

Hah, I recognize Overexposed's picture (I took it :haw:

)

Squirter is hilariously awesome. Woulda been more funny if it was a KC-135 or another tanker.

# ? Jun 5, 2015 20:55

ZebraBlade: Mar 26, 2010; Something is rotten in the state of Denmark

B-1B chat? I was hanging around Ellsworth the other day and they were doing touch and go's. Hard to get good shots with a cellphone but I watched them for almost an hour. loving awesome.

# ? Jun 5, 2015 23:52

Duke Chin: Jan 11, 2002; _{^{Roger That:}}
MILK CRATES INBOUND

_{_{^{- FUCK THE HABS -}}}

Dead Reckoning posted:

Eh, not really. Any contact outside the receptacle is Double Plus Ungood and will get a boom reamed, but at the end of the day it's an understood cost of doing business
...
Compare the F-4 to the trashcan-like receptacle on the B-52:

I wonder how this measures up with the B2's teeny little flip-over blow hole? Refueling one of those would make me nervous as gently caress for the same previously-stated reasons. :ohdear:

ZebraBlade posted:

B-1B chat? I was hanging around Ellsworth the other day and they were doing touch and go's. Hard to get good shots with a cellphone but I watched them for almost an hour. loving awesome.

[ApproachingB1b.jpgs]

Might be a cell phone but these are still p cool shots. :love:

the bone

# ? Jun 6, 2015 00:08

C.M. Kruger: Oct 28, 2013

Scratch Monkey posted:

Is it just me or does the average Russian soldier always look sketchy as gently caress? It's looks like they formed entire battalions out of date rapists and public masturbators.

Basically in 1967 they started conscripting criminals due to a lack of manpower, which lead to the development of a culture of hazing ("Dedovshchina") that regularly kills recruits, which lead to everybody doing their best to avoid conscription because they don't want to get beat up constantly. The guys in the photos are the ones too dumb to pull a Ted Nugent and avoid service.

http://www.ibtimes.com/young-russians-dodge-draft-more-more-avoid-risk-fighting-ukraine-1804246

quote:

While exact figures are almost impossible to attain because they would embarrass the Russian government, Sutyagin said, traditionally around 50 percent of conscripts avoid the draft. A 2013 report from the General Staff of the Russian Federation Council mentioned that 244,000 men avoided conscription in 2012, although those figures could not be verified.

According to the report, 8,794 men who received draft cards did not turn up at the recruiting office. Another 235,800 avoided the draft by other means.

Maj. Gen. Alexander Nikitin, a department head at the Chief Military Prosecutor's Office, said around 30,000 people a year are convicted of offenses related to evading the draft. Draft dodging is punishable by up to two years in prison, and according to Nikitin around 1,000 people a year are convicted.

Russians have developed a number of creative and sometimes expensive ways to avoid the draft. A Time magazine article from 2009 told the story of a young conscript, �Dmitri,� who paid the equivalent of $2,500 to be certified mentally ill. Others forge their birth certificates or pay bribes. Often the best way is to have a doctor give a medical exemption, but that can cost as much as $10,000, which is well beyond the reach of many, noted the article.

Sutyagin, who was a reserve officer in the Russian military, said many conscripts fear the poor conditions and horrific hazing, which has long been the primary reason they dodge the draft when the country is not in a full-scale war. �Those that are serving a second year are senior to these first-year novices,� said Sutyagin, �and sometimes the new guys are just tortured." Deaths of conscripts over the last few years included hundreds of suicides.

The military reduced service from 18 months to 12 months in 2008 in an effort to combat draft dodging, but it has not worked, said Sutyagin.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 01:00

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

drat dirty pinko draft dodgers :argh:

# ? Jun 6, 2015 01:15

Admiral Bosch: Apr 19, 2007; Who is Admiral Aken Bosch, and what is that old scoundrel up to?

# ? Jun 6, 2015 05:00

Richard Bong: Dec 11, 2008

I love terminal lance.

Facebook has made my army buddies annoy me more now than they did when they would do irl stuff like use the designated mastubation Porta John for pooping.

I miss when fb was just party pictures and college kids. Everyone's opinions suck and that's all it is now.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 09:55

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Just wait until your non-tarded friends start getting married and having kids.

Growing up is a bitch, but watching all the fun people grow up is a complete motherfucker.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 17:57

Handsome Ralph: Sep 3, 2004; Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!

The accompanying blog post is pretty awesome as well.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 18:07

Wingnut Ninja: Jan 11, 2003; Mostly Harmless

Electromagnetic catapult test:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc7tHStXfkQ

I have to admit, it's weird not seeing any steam coming out during the cat shot.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 18:31

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

That thing is so quiet compared to steam.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 18:47

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

# ? Jun 6, 2015 18:50

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

# ? Jun 6, 2015 18:56

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

That is one insanely lucky motherfucker.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 18:58

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Is that a 60mm mortar? How the gently caress did it get into his shoulder at that angle :stare:

# ? Jun 6, 2015 19:07

Anita Dickinme: Jan 24, 2013; Grimey Drawer

You snooze you... get penetrated by a 60mm?

# ? Jun 6, 2015 19:11

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Mike-o posted:

Is that a 60mm mortar? How the gently caress did it get into his shoulder at that angle ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB-r352j2FI

# ? Jun 6, 2015 19:12

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

# ? Jun 6, 2015 19:15

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Equine Don posted:

Maybe it's a good thing the M203 has such a long barrel compared to the GP-25. Less chance of idiots covering the barrel with their hand.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 19:33

Duke Chin: Jan 11, 2002; _{^{Roger That:}}
MILK CRATES INBOUND

_{_{^{- FUCK THE HABS -}}}

Anita Dickinme posted:

You snooze you... get penetrated by a 60mm?

Leaving over / in front of it like a Goddamn dumb during firing? :shrug:

# ? Jun 6, 2015 20:25

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Mike-o posted:

Maybe it's a good thing the M203 has such a long barrel compared to the GP-25. Less chance of idiots covering the barrel with their hand.

I looked up the story and apparently it was indeed self-inflicted.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 20:48

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Handsome Ralph posted:

Hah, I recognize Overexposed's picture (I took it )

quote:

Squirter is hilariously awesome. Woulda been more funny if it was a KC-135 or another tanker.

The pic was taken from a KC-135. I don't know if "Squirter" is what the F-105 was actually called, but the retracted panel where her cooch would be is the AAR receptacle where the boom plugs in... and often produces a spray of fuel when the boom pulls out.

Duke Chin posted:

I wonder how this measures up with the B2's teeny little flip-over blow hole? Refueling one of those would make me nervous as gently caress for the same previously-stated reasons.

More spacious than you would think:

The B-2 is big, so they didn't have a pressing space limitation. Apparently their fly-by-wire makes them a very stable platform, too.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 21:27

Duke Chin: Jan 11, 2002; _{^{Roger That:}}
MILK CRATES INBOUND

_{_{^{- FUCK THE HABS -}}}

huh I remember watching the video a couple months back and remembered it as being smaller. That really drives home hire goddamn small the F4's port was.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 21:34

Handsome Ralph: Sep 3, 2004; Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!

Dead Reckoning posted:

The pic was taken from a KC-135. I don't know if "Squirter" is what the F-105 was actually called, but the retracted panel where her cooch would be is the AAR receptacle where the boom plugs in... and often produces a spray of fuel when the boom pulls out.

Ok that makes total sense now. I knew it was an F-105, I just couldn't figure out where it got the name from.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 21:51

Abongination: Aug 18, 2010; Life, it's the shit that happens while you're waiting for moments that never come.; Pillbug

quote:

Upon reviewing the weather, Patton said of the Chaplain, "God drat! Look at the weather. That O'Neill sure did some potent praying. Get him up here. I want to pin a medal on him."

The next day, the Chaplain made it to Patton's office. He shook the Chaplain's hand and said, "Chaplain, you're the most popular man in this Headquarters. You sure stand in good with the Lord and the soldiers." Chaplain O'Neill then received a Bronze Star Medal.

# ? Jun 7, 2015 03:23