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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:She sure struck while her particular iron was hot. That particular iron was hot throughout the '90s by the looks of IMDB. She only started petering off in the 2000s.
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Jun 7, 2015 03:12
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Young Freud posted:That particular iron was hot throughout the '90s by the looks of IMDB. She only started petering off in the 2000s. I love it that she thought nothing of being in Repossessed.
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Jun 7, 2015 03:25
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In Savage Island, Linda Blair puts a bullet in Penn Jillette's forehead. It's on Amazon Prime if you want to check it out.
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Jun 7, 2015 05:07
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With that full acting plate I don't know how she found time to do an instructional video about potentially criminal vengeance.
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Jun 7, 2015 06:01
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:I love it that she thought nothing of being in Repossessed. Much as that movie was like discount Zucker, she was pretty good in a comedic part. Is it too early to wonder if the Assassin's Creed movie will have female main characters? I hear that's pretty complicated.
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Jun 7, 2015 06:25
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The AC movie is supposed to star Michael Fassbender.
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Jun 7, 2015 06:30
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muscles like this? posted:The AC movie is supposed to star Michael Fassbender. This rumor is from over a year ago, and nothing has been said of it since then.
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Jun 7, 2015 06:32
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TheJoker138 posted:This rumor is from over a year ago, and nothing has been said of it since then. Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard are both staring with the director of the new Macbeth directing. http://collider.com/assassins-creed-movie-poster-takes-flight/
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Jun 7, 2015 06:40
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GonSmithe posted:Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard are both staring with the director of the new Macbeth directing. You could have the ghost of Orson Welles making this movie with a resurrected Marlon Brando in his prime, and it would still be a piece of loving horse poo poo because Assassin's Creed is poo poo tier sci-fi jerk off gobbledygook. No one gives a gently caress about the story in those games except Ubisoft. The characters are super memorable and interesting at least. I mean like, there's "hood guy," and "modern guy," and "Kristen Bell" who I'm guessing is going to be played by Marion Cotillard. Oh and "other hood guy." Can't forget about him.
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Jun 7, 2015 06:51
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Imagine your average cape and sword movie, with an added layer of poo poo sci-fi exposition.
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Jun 7, 2015 07:05
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I don't get that adaptation at all. The defining aspect of the game is the memory machine conceit and that only exists to explain away the limitations of a semi-linear game.
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Jun 7, 2015 07:11
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GonSmithe posted:Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard are both staring with the director of the new Macbeth directing. I wonder if this will end up like Sphere and Wag the Dog.
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Jun 7, 2015 07:16
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Sir Kodiak posted:I don't get that adaptation at all. The defining aspect of the game is the memory machine conceit and that only exists to explain away the limitations of a semi-linear game. I can see it go two ways, do a lot of the past and little present or vice versa. I doubt it will be equal amounts.
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Jun 7, 2015 07:17
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Sir Kodiak posted:I don't get that adaptation at all. The defining aspect of the game is the memory machine conceit and that only exists to explain away the limitations of a semi-linear game. The Memory Machine stuff is fine to me, to be honest, but then there's the other sci-fi poo poo that the games have gone down.
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Jun 7, 2015 07:25
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As a frequent player of Assassin's Creed games, I don't give a poo poo about the plot (at least not AC2 onwards), especially not the real world stuff, and it usually just gets in the way of the gameplay. (The gameplay has gotten progressively samey and dull over time so I haven't played the new games.) Surely I'm supposed to be target demo for this movie and I have zero interest in it.
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Jun 7, 2015 09:09
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TheJoker138 posted:You could have the ghost of Orson Welles making this movie with a resurrected Marlon Brando in his prime, and it would still be a piece of loving horse poo poo because Assassin's Creed is poo poo tier sci-fi jerk off gobbledygook. No one gives a gently caress about the story in those games except Ubisoft. The characters are super memorable and interesting at least. I mean like, there's "hood guy," and "modern guy," and "Kristen Bell" who I'm guessing is going to be played by Marion Cotillard. Oh and "other hood guy." Can't forget about him. Well as someone who has to date played all of them...I couldn't even tell you what the story is. It seemed to wrap up with 3 and they've gone off on a huge digression since then. I mean, Kirsten Bell gets offed in the second one so there's that. And Ezio is actually a charming character, which is why Ubi went back to the well multiple times, but I feel like that's more in the performance than anything else. All the recent stuff as been this weird meta thing where you work for an evil company that's making Assassin's Creed games. Who knows what the movie is even going to try and do, aside from some sweet parkour.
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Jun 7, 2015 09:20
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Vagabundo posted:I wonder if this will end up like Sphere and Wag the Dog. What do you mean by that?
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Jun 7, 2015 12:21
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effectual posted:What do you mean by that? Probably "bad" but then I liked The Sphere.
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Jun 7, 2015 12:36
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davidspackage posted:Much as that movie was like discount Zucker, she was pretty good in a comedic part. She's the best part of the movie, all apologies to Leslie Nielsen.
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Jun 7, 2015 13:14
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TheJoker138 posted:You could have the ghost of Orson Welles making this movie with a resurrected Marlon Brando in his prime, and it would still be a piece of loving horse poo poo because Assassin's Creed is poo poo tier sci-fi jerk off gobbledygook. Despite my dislike of the games, I think you are stupid and wrong here. Also why is Welles a ghost but Brando brought back to life? God drat your post is the real poo poo tier sci-fi jerk off gobbledygook.
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Jun 7, 2015 13:37
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mr.capps posted:Also why is Welles a ghost but Brando brought back to life? A ghost can definitely write, and probably direct, but you'd have trouble getting one to act.
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Jun 7, 2015 13:50
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That isn't the issue I have with the scenario!!!
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Jun 7, 2015 13:56
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mr.capps posted:That isn't the issue I have with the scenario!!! Yes, the least plausible part of there ever being a good Assassin's Creed movie is that there would be a ghost Orson Welles AND an undead Marlon Brando.
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Jun 7, 2015 14:06
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mr.capps posted:Also why is Welles a ghost but Brando brought back to life? You'll have to see Assassin's Creed to find out. In theaters 12-21-16.
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Jun 7, 2015 14:06
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Yes, the least plausible part of there ever being a good Assassin's Creed movie is that there would be a ghost Orson Welles AND an undead Marlon Brando. He isn't undead, he is resurrected from his prime which suggests he isn't a zombie or a lich.
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Jun 7, 2015 14:09
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I mean ignoring that, I still believe ghost Orson Welles and clone(???) Brando would make a good, maybe even great, Assassin's Creed movie if that was the simple scenario. Now it would be possible that the movie would be bad, but I think that would not come out of it from the film simply being an Assassin Creed product, but other complications. Maybe for example, Ghost Welles will be jealous that Brando for some arbitrary reason is brought back to life. Or maybe filming is halted when the United States Government launches an investigation in these strange paranormal affairs which gives the film a trouble production.
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Jun 7, 2015 14:17
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So wait would resurrected clone Brando be young, sexy Streetcar Named Desire Brando? Or are we talking matured Godfather Brando? Or is he resurrected as he was when he died 'cos there'd have to be a rewrite then. I mean these questions have to be answered before we can even start to speculate.
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Jun 7, 2015 14:27
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If the movie focuses on Assassins vs Templars in the Crusader Holy Land, I'll be interested. If it's Future Dipshit searching for Ancient Aliens Artifacts, not so much.
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Jun 7, 2015 16:07
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TheJoker138 posted:You could have the ghost of Orson Welles making this movie with a resurrected Marlon Brando in his prime, and it would still be a piece of loving horse poo poo because Assassin's Creed is poo poo tier sci-fi jerk off gobbledygook. No one gives a gently caress about the story in those games except Ubisoft. The characters are super memorable and interesting at least. I mean like, there's "hood guy," and "modern guy," and "Kristen Bell" who I'm guessing is going to be played by Marion Cotillard. Oh and "other hood guy." Can't forget about him. I wasn't saying it was going to be good, I was saying it's very much confirmed Fassbender is in it.
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Jun 7, 2015 17:32
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And I'm saying that even if he is still in it, it's still going to suck. Also Brando needs to be resurrected because ghosts interfere with camera equipment and don't show up properly, so it's the only way to get him to properly be in it. It's like you don't even know anything about ghosts in here.
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Jun 8, 2015 02:56
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I'll probably watch it anyway just because Fassbender is pretty and charismatic.
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Jun 8, 2015 02:58
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To AC's credit, the past stuff basically only hasn't owned once (AC3). It's just the future stuff nobody gives a poo poo about.
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Jun 8, 2015 03:57
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LORD OF BUTT posted:To AC's credit, the past stuff basically only hasn't owned once (AC3). It's just the future stuff nobody gives a poo poo about. Even the past stuff is usually boring and ruined by the future poo poo. I don't care about the assassins and the templars and their fight over some universe artifact left by ancient aliens. Also you're forgetting that AC1 and AC: U both exist. Those weren't even passable by the low bar the other AC games have set storywise.
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Jun 8, 2015 04:05
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AC1 was fine, though? The past plot was pretty much just "growly Arab man tears rear end through the Holy Land shanking bad dudes," which is not like terribly deep or anything but would work fine as an action movie plot. I can't speak for Unity, because I've never touched it. And again, you can literally ignore the future plot. The games actually do a really good job of letting you not pay attention to Desmond's plot if you don't care, it never affects anything in the past and the past rarely even affects it.
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Jun 8, 2015 05:09
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It'll probably be on par with the Prince of Persia movie and promptly forgotten about just as fast.
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Jun 8, 2015 05:10
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I'm just hopeful because the AC games aren't targeted at kids to any extent and Disney isn't doing it. Even if it's not great, I'll never turn down a fun, bloody period action movie (see also: Flesh + Blood, Ironclad, Centurion).
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Jun 8, 2015 05:14
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Which is probably the best-case scenario. Prince of Persia was pretty okay, even if I remember nothing about it.
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Jun 8, 2015 05:14
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MikeJF posted:So wait would resurrected clone Brando be young, sexy Streetcar Named Desire Brando? Or are we talking matured Godfather Brando? Or is he resurrected as he was when he died 'cos there'd have to be a rewrite then. Brando was only like 46 when the Godfather was made. He had to wear a shitload of makeup and prosthetics to look older.
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Jun 8, 2015 05:17
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Assassins creed black flag owned until they worked in the sci-fi poo poo and then it took me forever to care enough to play past it so I could get back to cool pirate adventures. Ubisoft is loving awful at making Assassins Creed games.
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Jun 8, 2015 06:15
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As someone who has never played any of them is there even any need for a framing device? Doesn't it just cheapen it?
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Jun 8, 2015 06:17
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