GiP Dad Chat Simulator

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Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Vasudus posted:

...what else is there. alcoholism.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 05:59

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 09:03

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

It's depressing watching that show about Alaska State Troopers, especially the ones who patrol the backwater dry towns. 2015 and your job is to enforce prohibition in the rear end end of nowhere.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 06:06

krispykremessuck: Jul 22, 2005; unlike most veterans and SA members $10 is not a meaningful expenditure for me

I'm gonna have me a swag Bar-B-Q

Vasudus posted:

Alaska is a loving dump. I'm here all over the state for work and each place has been shitter than the last. I did a whole bunch of outdoorsy poo poo between travel and it's like ...what else is there. No wonder there's so much alcoholism.

actually alaska fuckin owns gently caress you

# ? Jun 6, 2015 07:12

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

It's depressing watching that show about Alaska State Troopers, especially the ones who patrol the backwater dry towns. 2015 and your job is to enforce prohibition in the rear end end of nowhere.

Maybe if they didn't want to be poor drunks they should just buy more money

# ? Jun 6, 2015 07:26

iKon: Oct 4, 2000; CAN'T TEST
WON'T TEST

I wasn't wild about Alaska while I was there, but there are way loving worse places to be stationed.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 08:53

Dingleberry: Aug 21, 2011

This is funny
http://weaponoutfitters.tumblr.com/post/120817523212/oafnation-you-constantly-get-berated-at-your

And

I don't know if I like this but yes I do

# ? Jun 6, 2015 14:41

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Saw Would You Rather

Robb Wells dies like a trailer park boy :canada:

# ? Jun 6, 2015 17:00

Anita Dickinme: Jan 24, 2013; Grimey Drawer

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Saw Would You Rather

Robb Wells dies like a trailer park boy

Watched this, too. Movie was amazing and kept me at the edge of my couch. Plus the cast was great. 10/10

# ? Jun 6, 2015 17:20

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Is this available for streaming somewhere? I can't search right now.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 17:51

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Netflix. It's bad but worth a watch.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 17:57

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Girlfriend was watching it and I almost blurted out "Hey that's Sasha Grey! She's a porn star who takes it up the rear end a lot" but then my brain shut my mouth before it could even open. Thank you brain.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 18:03

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Would You Rather is a real weird movie. Brittany Snow is hot though.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 18:22

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Mike-o posted:

Girlfriend was watching it and I almost blurted out "Hey that's Sasha Grey! She's a porn star who takes it up the rear end a lot" but then my brain shut my mouth before it could even open. Thank you brain.

You'd think she could hold her breath for four minutes

But no

# ? Jun 6, 2015 18:48

Untagged: Mar 29, 2004; Hey, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshiping us?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_fCqg92qks

# ? Jun 6, 2015 20:11

Kiryen: Feb 25, 2015

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

You'd think she could hold her breath for four minutes

But no

She quit porn in 2010 or so, so she's probably out of practice.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 21:19

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Tom Cruise claimed he held his breath for 6 minutes to shoot a scene in the new mission impossible. Wonder how he trained for that :gay:

# ? Jun 6, 2015 21:37

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Rad Lieutenant posted:

Tom Cruise claimed he held his breath for 6 minutes to shoot a scene in the new mission impossible. Wonder how he trained for that

Tom Cruise is retarded.

No, really: either he's retarded because no person can hold their breath for six minutes, or he's retarded because he tried and suffered brain damage from the lack of oxygen.

# ? Jun 6, 2015 21:41

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

So, errr, I thought I'd google the record for holding your breath.

quote:

This technique was how magician David Blaine managed to break the world-record for breath-holding in 2008, with a time of 17 minutes and 4 seconds, and how Stig Severinsen blew that time out of the water in 2012, with a mind-blowing performance of 22 minutes.Mar 12, 2014

gently caress me

http://io9.com/the-secret-to-holding-your-breath-for-20-minutes-1542451520

# ? Jun 6, 2015 21:55

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

bored and watching vice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwoSFQb5HVk

# ? Jun 7, 2015 02:27

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

American Sniper wasn't as bad as I expected. I'd rather have seen more of his home life between deployments, less time on the flashback. A lot of the homefront scenes just felt really forced and crammed with information so they could get the point across and get back to the movie. Which is kind of what I expected, but it still wasn't bad. But holy Christ, the baby.

# ? Jun 7, 2015 02:38

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-2x3r1m2I4

# ? Jun 7, 2015 03:28

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Tom Hanks is starting to look old

# ? Jun 7, 2015 03:55

USMC503: Jan 15, 2012; For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

# ? Jun 7, 2015 06:12

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

gently caress Jersey. I will alter my entire travel timeline to avoid going through that poo poo state during peak traffic.

gently caress Jersey.

# ? Jun 7, 2015 08:23

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3-diqR41yo

loving boss

# ? Jun 7, 2015 08:23

SquirrelyPSU: May 27, 2003

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Tom Hanks is starting to look old

You wish you could look that good at almost 60.

# ? Jun 7, 2015 13:57

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

ded posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3-diqR41yo

loving boss

That rules

# ? Jun 7, 2015 14:02

Not Nipsy Russell: Oct 6, 2004; Failure is always an option.

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

It's depressing watching that show about Alaska State Troopers, especially the ones who patrol the backwater dry towns. 2015 and your job is to enforce prohibition in the rear end end of nowhere.

For your reading pleasure. I use this at work to resolve "Was I drinking? Oh no. I totally hit a moose at 2:30am." Somewhat gratifying to find them in there and read about the abandoned car driven through a road sign, and the troopers that showed up to their house.

"You know Clearance, we flew all the way out here, it'd be a shame to go back empty-handed".

quote:

Location: Venetie
Case number: AK15042786
Type: Warrant Arrest
Text: Fairbanks Rural Unit Troopers flew to Venetie on the morning of 6/6/2015 in an attempt to locate and arrest Vincent Roberts, 30 of Venetie on an outstanding warrant stemming from an investigation conducted on 5/20/2015. Roberts was not located but troopers did contact Clearance Frank, 28 of Venetie. Frank had an outstanding warrant for Theft 2nd with a $2,500 bond and turned himself into troopers to be transported to Fairbanks and remanded at FCC.

Read/Rinse/Repeat:

quote:

Location: Glennallen, AK
Case number: AK15040741
Type: Reckless Driving
Text: On 05-30-2015, at approximately 1910 hours, Alaska State Troopers stopped a Chevrolet pickup traveling northbound on the Richardson Hwy at 93 mph in a 65 mph zone. The driver was identified as Christopher Hobson (age 25 of Tazlina). Investigation revealed Hobson was drinking alcohol while driving and had consumed marijuana before leaving Valdez. Hobson was issued a Misdemeanor citation for Reckless Driving as well as citations for Open container of alcohol in a vehicle and speeding. Hobson's vehicle was towed from the scene.

quote:

Location: Tok=09
Case number: AK15042015
Type: Assault 1st degree / Misconduct involving weapons 1st degree
Author: MLS1
Text: On 6-3-2015 at approximately 2330 hours, a motorist contacted Alaska
State Troopers in Tok to report he was shot at while driving down Red Fox R
oad. Investigation revealed that Benjamin Macmurray, age 38 of Tok, drov
e his vehicle at a high rate of speed past the motorist and then abruptly
stopped in front of him. Macmurray then brandished a handgun and fired sh
ots. The motorist attempted to flee, but was pursued. The motorist was a
ble returned fire with a rifle causing Macmurray discontinue. Macmur
ray later contacted the Alaska State Troopers to report he had been shot in
the arm. He was treated at the Tok Clinic. Alaska State Troopers seized
all of the weapons involved. Both vehicles involved in the shooting wer
e impounded. The investigation is ongoing.

etc. etc.
Not shown:
-flew out to the middle of nowhere to see if he's dead. Yep, he's dead
-You got tags for that deer/moose/elk/longpig?
-Dui, dui, dui, dui.

# ? Jun 7, 2015 14:14

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Godholio posted:

But holy Christ, the baby.

I don't see what there's to complain about.

# ? Jun 7, 2015 15:19

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-2x3r1m2I4

They went waaaay off the deep end with the dramatic music.

Also, holy gently caress Landry got huge

# ? Jun 7, 2015 15:23

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

http://i.imgur.com/nVbxx4f.png :nws:

# ? Jun 7, 2015 15:41

The Rat: Aug 29, 2004; You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

Is that

# ? Jun 7, 2015 16:23

Fister Ardennes: Apr 25, 2008; War is not the answer but it sure is fun

Duzzy Funlop posted:

http://i.imgur.com/nVbxx4f.png

Girls, please don't ruin your boobs and butt with tattoos.

- TIA, men everywhere.

# ? Jun 7, 2015 17:02

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Willy Pete posted:

Girls, please don't ruin your boobs and butt with tattoos.

- TIA, men everywhere.

Counterpoint: she's sexy as hell.

# ? Jun 7, 2015 17:06

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
Do Crime!

Willy Pete posted:

Girls, please don't ruin your boobs and butt with tattoos.

- TIA, men everywhere.

gently caress you

# ? Jun 7, 2015 17:37

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

The Rat posted:

Is that ?

cunthulu

# ? Jun 7, 2015 18:04

Dingleberry: Aug 21, 2011

Whip Slagcheek posted:

Counterpoint: she's sexy as hell.

Hold that assessment; I need to see b-hole for full, accurate review.

# ? Jun 7, 2015 18:26

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Hammond and May turn down deal with BBC; trio reportedly very close to signing deal for a new show with Netflix.

http://www.unilad.co.uk/articles/hammond-and-may-to-refuse-top-gear-return-and-launch-new-show-with-clarkson/

# ? Jun 7, 2015 18:32

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

In 3 years, Netflix and Google will merge, and we'll effectively have a one-world government.

# ? Jun 7, 2015 18:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 11, 2024 09:03

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Godholio posted:

In 3 years, Netflix and Google will merge, and we'll effectively have a one-world government.

Finally

# ? Jun 7, 2015 18:47

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