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Oh no! Doesn't look like we get bonus points. Did spend the small amount I had banked to afford an adamant spear if I won. Spent it on COPPER GREAVES 
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Jun 5, 2015 23:18
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| # ? May 29, 2024 00:24 |
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Hahahaha copper greaves? Look at this poor kobold and laugh! You're still gonna win though.
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Jun 6, 2015 01:04
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Ramc posted:Oh no!
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Jun 6, 2015 01:06
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Silverminnow posted:Hahahaha copper greaves? Look at this poor kobold and laugh! I had banked like 115 points. These are not gonna be the nicest greaves, ok? Just try to bite me now, though. Just TRY. Bene Elim posted:You better win, Ramc. The honour of team Meat and Two Veg is resting on you! FOR THE TEAM!
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Jun 6, 2015 04:26
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Ah, lost all my dorfbucks in a blaze of glory. Though I had never considered that people wouldn't be bite-proof after the first round.
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Jun 6, 2015 04:34
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Decoy Badger posted:Though I had never considered that people wouldn't be bite-proof after the first round. I never considered they would be. Well, best of luck in betting on the bronze playoffs.
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Jun 6, 2015 05:05
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Decoy Badger posted:Ah, lost all my dorfbucks in a blaze of glory.
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Jun 6, 2015 08:40
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Bene Elim posted:You better win, Ramc. The honour of team Meat and Two Veg is resting on you!
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Jun 6, 2015 15:48
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What does the archery skill affect exactly? Had a last minute idea to drop two shields and pick up a platinum bow and arrow, following the notion that arrows that heavy would break bones even through armor. Assuming I had the points to dump into the new gear and the bow and archery skills, would have that have worked at all, or am I fortunate the fighter management is locked for the finals?
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Jun 6, 2015 18:25
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Maarak posted:What does the archery skill affect exactly? Had a last minute idea to drop two shields and pick up a platinum bow and arrow, following the notion that arrows that heavy would break bones even through armor. Assuming I had the points to dump into the new gear and the bow and archery skills, would have that have worked at all, or am I fortunate the fighter management is locked for the finals? A switch like that would definitely have thrown your oponent, but archery is very hit-and-miss (har har) even with max skills. You could have gotten that perfect headshot, but I'd guess you'd get a few dodged/blocked/ineffective shots off before getting overwhelmed in close range. Archery skill improves general accuracy and firing speed with a bow.
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Jun 6, 2015 18:38
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Bene Elim posted:Archery is piercing rather than strike/bludgeoning. Steel or Adamantium would be the ideal materials for a bow and arrow. If arrows are unavailable, beating someone with a bow uses the 'sword' skill. It's a bit more complex. Arrows do a weird piercing/bludgeoning mix. It applies force based on projectile mass and velocity and checks material properties for penetration. There used to be a rounding error that made non-superheavy arrows travel at maximum velocity all the time, and it was hilarious. And absurdly deadly. In general, you want a weapon material that's sharp, but you also need at least some weight to it. Really light missiles like adamantine are bad because there's a max velocity, and their low mass can't compensate, not to mention that it weakens the blunt damage. Bronze, iron, and steel are pretty good materials for arrows.
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Jun 6, 2015 18:50
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16 hours and I will be ruining the third place match with terrible, unfunny commentary. All bets in? Fighters updated?
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Jun 7, 2015 23:20
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Spermy Smurf posted:16 hours and I will be ruining the third place match with terrible, unfunny commentary. Fighters are locked
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Jun 7, 2015 23:37
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Spermy Smurf posted:16 hours and I will be ruining the third place match with terrible, unfunny commentary. Who needs commentary? Make a .gif of the whole fight and post it with the combat log. Let us do the hard 'weaving the narrative of the fight' thing.
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Jun 7, 2015 23:50
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Here's the fight: ░░☺☻░░ La-la-la-la-la ♫♪♫♪♪♫ Somebody died ♫♪♪♫♫♪♪♫ The end! ♫♪♫♪
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Jun 7, 2015 23:53
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Bene Elim posted:Who needs commentary? Make a .gif of the whole fight and post it with the combat log. Let us do the hard 'weaving the narrative of the fight' thing. If the two fighters were the same race, I would do this just to gently caress with you.
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Jun 8, 2015 00:42
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COME OOOOON SKEWERRRR
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Jun 8, 2015 22:25
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Spermy Smurf posted:16 hours and I will be ruining the third place match with terrible, unfunny commentary. That commentary must be even unfunnier than expected! Or, the fight was so long Spermy ran out of terrible things to say!
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Jun 9, 2015 10:29
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Ghost of gently caress Rogers killed him in his sleep. Finally.
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Jun 9, 2015 14:13
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 Third Place Fight, unfunny as poo poo Hank Evans here. I'm here to talk about a bloodbath that is about to happen. If the little girls down there in the arena can't put on a good show then I'll go down there and bitch slap them both. I think you're supposed to do introductions. Fine. This nancy boy is Ace. Over there is Lloyd. We're really high! Shut up. If I'm going to run this thing I need complete and total uninanonynymity. Fascinating. On the left side of the arena is a small kobold, named The Skewer by his handler. Koboldius Smallifernus, distantly related to dragons and commonly misclassed as goblins and hobgoblins. Dragons? He's a pretty small dragon! Small dragon indeed! Average height is somewhere between 3 and 3 and a half feet. Shut your pie hole, animal lover. Here comes a hulking beast of a... mole? If he talks poo poo I'll put an M80 in his mouth just like I used to do to his little cousins. Ah, molemanicus giganticus! A brilliant blend of mole, moleman, and disgusting teeth. I don't think that's a moleman. Pretty sure thats an Axe. It's written right there on his armor. I already hate this.  Hah! Look at that moleman take a spear to his arm and still bumrush the puny kobold! Knocked him back 3 steps and he looks stunned! You enjoy this don't you? Sadist. Go hug a tree, hippy. The moleman just tore out the Kobolds eye! That reminds me of when my parakeets head fell off. Sorry about it going green at the end. No idea why. You can still see two limbs go flying. The moleman just bit the kobold on the leg and thrashed him around! Blood is flying everywhere! That's an Axe, not a moleman. The moleman may not be able to feel pain, but both of his hands just went flying. This is the best fight ever. Both fighters are being mutilated. That plucky little Kobold may not be able to stand but he's really stabbing the hell out of the moleman.The Axe. Yes, The Axe. He's managed to grab the kobold and shatter his ankle without any hands. That's impressive. I've got half a mind to go toe to toe with him later. This is too much, I have to look away. The Axe fell down. It's over? Yeah, it's over. The Skewer waited until The Axe leaned down to bite again and just stabbed him in the head. He could have saved a lot of time if he had just started with that.Winner: The Skewer for Bronze! Combat Log
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Jun 9, 2015 15:35
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Three cheers for steel spears!
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Jun 9, 2015 16:40
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Was expecting kobold death as soon as he got shaken about. Tough little guy proved me wrong.
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Jun 9, 2015 16:50
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Sorry guys, I bet it all on The Axe, that fight was my fault.
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Jun 9, 2015 16:51
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The Fight posted:The Axe bites The Skewer in the right upper leg, bruising the muscle through the small copper greaves! HA!
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Jun 9, 2015 23:04
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Ramc posted:HA! 
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Jun 9, 2015 23:13
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Ramc posted:HA! Holy poo poo. Congrats on your victory! Now I'm rooting for Maarak! Go ants! Silverminnow fucked around with this message at 01:07 on Jun 10, 2015 |
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Jun 10, 2015 00:47
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quote:The Axe bites The Skewer in the right upper leg, bruising the muscle through the small copper greaves!
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Jun 10, 2015 00:49
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First Place Fight Vendor: I've got weapons, get your arms here! Sharpest blades, magnificent hammers! Vendor: Armor, the best armor in town! Armok blessed, guaranteed to prevent your death or your money back! Vendor: Hot pies, meat pies, honeycakes! Fill your belly with the finest tarts you've ever tasted! Vendor: Get your spirits, get your ale, get your dwarven wine here!  Nancy, what do you think? Should we get some sugarwater to drink while watching the fight? That sounds lovely, dear. See if they have flasks, I'll put it in my purse. Vendor: Right this way, my lady, my lord! Please, take a seat. We cannot stay. Two flasks of sugar water to go is all we require.Vendor: Going to see the big fight, eh? It should be a good one! We hope it's quick. Our daughter is participating.Vendor: Your daughter is Paranoid Ant-droid? Magnificent! I have a wager with the arms dealer, and I have two silver pennies on your daughter. The flasks please, we must be getting to our seats.Vendor: Of course, of course. Here, take these peaches. They are a little bruised and too soft to sell, and since you're ants I figured.... You figured what? Just because we're ants - Thomas! Thank you, kind sir. We're sure to enjoy them. Thomas throws a handful of copper at the Vendor, snatches the flasks and stuffs them in his wifes purse, grumbling all the while. Vendor (yelling to the Ants backs as they leave): Return the flasks after the fight and I'll give you a copper for each!  Did you hear that, Clarence? The food has to be cheaper here than insssside! Yesss.... Let usss partake of a rodent. Maybe ssssome kobold. I want a gremlin. Do you think they have gremlinsss?Vendor: Welcome to my shop! What can we get for you? Maybe I can interest you in a cut of the finest beef, marinated in a glaze of -- One large rat pleassssse. Raw. What did you want, Beverly?Beverly looks around the stall in the market, everything looks cooked Any gremlin? I don't ssssee any.Vendor (slightly pale now): No, sorry ma'am. No gremlin today. I have chicken fresh from my brothers farm. Hasn't been dead more than an hour on my honor. Dark gnome? Vendor (covering a gagging sound with a fake cough): No, I'm sorry. I don't have any of the... exotic... foods. Beef, pork, chicken, and rat are all I have today. The chickensss are fresssh? You asssssure me?Vendor: On my mothers grave, I swear they are no more than an hour dead. That will do. Remove the beak please. Vendor busies himself chopping the beak and most of the face off of the chicken, grabs a rat off the shelf and wraps them in paper Vendor: Enjoy the fight, hopefully Floss Thrice Daily will be feasting on Ant soon! As do we. Our daughter makes us proud.Vendor: Daughter? You're Floss Thrice Daily's parents? Take your coins back, I cannot accept payment for this! I have made a small fortune betting on her in the arena. Please, take your coins, enjoy the meal! Thank you, and best of luck with your ssshop. (to Clarence): Thissss isss all your fault. If you hadn't raisssed her like such a tomboy sssshe would never have entered the arena listssss. Sssshe does what sssshe does; nothing you or I did could change the fact that ssssshe lovesss to bite people. At leassst sssshe found a good job.Vendor is vaguely heard shouting that his stall is the official food of choice for Floss Thrice Daily. The antpeople and snakepeople get in line for the arena.  Dwarf security: No food and no large weapons. That's the rules, if you don't like it you can go home. Dude with the spear: What do you want me to do with it? I can't just leave it here. Dwarf security: The lockers to the left. Two copper to store it. Tell your friends to put their swords back in the scabbards. Spearguy waves to his crew, they put away their weapons. He stores his spear-thingy in the lockers and leads his friends into the arena. Dwarf security: Sorry lady, no outside food and drink allowed. That's bullshit. You just want to price gouge everyone with the overpriced crap inside!Dwarf security: I don't make the rules, I just get paid to enforce them. But the crap inside won't be half-moldy like those peaches your wife just threw away. The nerve! Those were a gift! The ants go inside, Nancy's purse clinking slightly. Dwarf security: Sir there is no outside food and drink allowed. Especially no food that is still bleeding. Clarence looks down at the wrapped paper package and blood dripping from it. Thissss isssn't food. Thisss is a coat in cassse my wife getsss cold....Dwarf security: Not happening. Eat it or chuck it. Clarence and Beverly unwrap the package. Clarence unhinges his jaw and horks down the rat. Beverly spits out a feather. Dwarf security: Disgusting. In you go. Whispering to Clarence We'll just go to the bathroom when we get inside and regurgitate them so we can enjoy them during the fight.The parents of the fighters find their seats. Excuse me dears. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. pardon. Why are you all wearing armor to the arena?  Armored man: Things get exciting in the stands sometimes. Finally, those are the last seats in the row. We're done with the standing and sitting and standing and sitting... Oh shush. Here, have a pomegranate. I found it on the floor under my seat. It's still mostly good.The fighters enter the arena.   Thomas! There she is! Oh she looks so fierce!  I just wish we could have gotten her a better spear, but she's done well with Steel so far. You can see the sparkle of her armor from way up here! Remind me to write a note to your brother for the second Adamantine Mail shirt! And those gauntlets! I'm so proud of my little girl! That helmet fits her just perfect!  It was a lot of money, but it looks so good I can't even bitch about the cost anymore! Phew! It doesn't look like the ant-scum can get through Flossy's armor. Ant-Scum? Watch your mouth you stupid snake! You're precious lizardspawn can't hurt Paranoid either! They're just dancing around each other! Thomas, pay attention! Paranoid just got a good stab in, I think it bruised the snakes left arm! That's only because our daughter doesn't hide behind three shields like a child!Block, block, deflect, deflect, grab and break grab, block, deflect, deflect, failed bite, failed grab....  Noise of the collision can be heard over the roars of the crowd Hah! You see that, you stupid Ant? Bah, Paranoid is already on her feet and not even stunned anymore! Your frog-child will need to do better than that! hissing under her breath at Thomas She's slowing down. Is she tired already? I told you we should have gotten her lighter shields! Hiss louder, snakebreath! Your precious daughter is tired already! Ours is just getting into her groove! C'mon Flossy! Bite her stupid head off!Block, block, deflect, deflect, grab and break grab, block, deflect, deflect, failed bite, failed grab....  Haha! Getting into her groove? Looks like her groove includes having her arm stabbed! Watch your tone when you talk to my wife! Flossy will be fine, she doesn't use her arms anyway! That's our girl! Did you see that kick? The snake barely even has a snout anymore, it's been crushed! I hope your daughter puts her foot near Flossy's mouth again!Block, block, deflect, deflect, grab and break grab, block, deflect, deflect, failed bite, failed grab....Bruised tail for Flossy, arm broken on Flossy  Clarence... Her arm is broken... I know, I know. She'll pull through, she has to. Wahoooooooo! Nancy are you seeing this!? Finish her, Paranoid, FINISH HER!Block, block, deflect, deflect, grab and break grab, block, deflect, deflect, failed bite, failed grab....Both fighters over-exerted now   Fighters on same tile Hey Clarence, let's see your little girl bite anything now! Hahahaha! muttering to himself Come on Flossy, Come on flossy.Block, block, deflect, deflect, grab and break grab, block, deflect, deflect, failed bite, failed grab....Paranoid Ant-droid passes out from exhaustion after another 45 seconds of running the fight at full speed.  Floss Thrice Daily bites Paranoid Ant-droid in the head, chipping the chitin and bruising the muscle and bruising the brain! Serpent man venom is injected into the Paranoid Ant-droid's antman ichor! Paranoid Ant-droid has been struck down! Floss Thrice Daily: Death iss all around uss. The horror consssumess me! Oh no! No no no no no! Suck it, you stupid ant! Paranoid! Nooooooooooooo! If we leave now, Clarence, we can beat the traffic.Winner: Floss Thrice Daily, Managed by Tunicate! Well done! Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Jun 10, 2015 |
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Jun 10, 2015 16:44
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Haha! I'm glad both for the antwoman making it to the finals, since I had two teammates who wanted antpeople to do well in the arena, and the biting serpent actually winning a tournament, since I love the gimmick! Good show, good show! Congrats to Tunicate!
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Jun 10, 2015 16:57
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 393 files (including macros, gifs, pics, gamelogs) And this is after I edited and deleted all of the images I only took for "spattering of blood" and stuff. It was probably about double that number of pictures or maybe slightly more.
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Jun 10, 2015 16:57
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Dang, thought I could get away without upgrading my weapon. Here's the build:quote:Paranoid Ant-droid has a career record of 4 victories and 1 loss. Added most of those wrestling levels thinking they'd be the key to taking down The Axe.
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Jun 10, 2015 17:18
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A nice tense match. Really coulda gone either way I might have avoided that exhaustion if I had ditched the platinum mail for a better metal, but there's no point winning if you can't do it in style. Final Build: quote:She has the following equipment. First and second turns: quote:Round 1:
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Jun 10, 2015 17:28
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Nice job, Tunicate. Again I end a tournament with 0 dorfbux, having bet it all on the fighter that knocked out mine.
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Jun 10, 2015 17:56
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Wow, what a dramatic finish. I guess the important teeth didn't get knocked out, then?
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Jun 11, 2015 00:23
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Glazius posted:Wow, what a dramatic finish. I guess the important teeth didn't get knocked out, then? Team Meat and Two Veg can tell you from first hand practice that there are a LOT of teeth you can remove if you put your mind to it. (The most notable thing about my kobold build was MAX WEAPONSKILL)
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Jun 11, 2015 02:11
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Glazius posted:Wow, what a dramatic finish. I guess the important teeth didn't get knocked out, then? Floss Thrice Daily: Death ithth all around uthth. The horror conthththumethth me!
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Jun 11, 2015 02:44
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I'm rich! RIIIICH
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Jun 11, 2015 02:46
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It looks like there's some rebalancing to be done, such as ungimping the big fighters on points, making warhammers more pricey and mauls cheaper, giving yetis a little more willpower, and maybe doing something to make snakebites a little less overpowered. Then we can start another test tournament maybe this weekend. If there's still interest.
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Jun 11, 2015 02:51
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Note that snakeman bites suck against larger fighters - if the big guys get unnerfed I think the balance there will sort itself out.
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Jun 11, 2015 02:56
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| # ? May 29, 2024 00:24 |
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Jazzimus Prime posted:It looks like there's some rebalancing to be done, such as ungimping the big fighters on points, making warhammers more pricey and mauls cheaper, giving yetis a little more willpower, and maybe doing something to make snakebites a little less overpowered. Hell yeah, now I can test Bob the Blocker. Can he block it, yes he can!
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Jun 11, 2015 03:24
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