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OssiansFolly posted:Yea we BOUGHT them online yesterday for a fraction of the cost to rent them. Table Cloths were $9/ea, Napkins were $2.25/five, and Chair Sashes were $2.50/five. Holy gently caress are rental companies bullshit. I will likely donate what is left over to some people I know that have kids (for tents in the living room) and the rest to churches locally as a write off for taxes. Ahhh, good on you! the rental prices for tablecloths are crazy. I donated mine to the local fire dept (that does the tent\table rental and set up, I am from a *really* small town, so small that the only tents and tables I could rent were from them or from some exorbitant place on the mainland) for them to reuse and rent out.
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Jun 10, 2015 01:22
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Why does the OP warn to stay away from http://www.betterthandiamond.com/ I'm looking at diamond alternatives and drawn by the superior color of the amora gems. Why is moissanite recommended in the OP but not Amora gems?
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Jun 10, 2015 05:03
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So two days until my wedding, and one of my groomsmen (215 lbs, which will make sense in a few words) tells me Men's Wearhouse gave him an extra small tuxedo vest, and when he said it felt really tight, they said it should be fine. My groomsmen are not wearing jackets. Is there anything to be done about this with such little time left?
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Jun 10, 2015 14:54
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life is killing me posted:So two days until my wedding, and one of my groomsmen (215 lbs, which will make sense in a few words) tells me Men's Wearhouse gave him an extra small tuxedo vest, and when he said it felt really tight, they said it should be fine. Yes, they should be able to overnight a bigger vest to the store if he goes in today and tells them he needs a bigger one. But he needs to insist on it rather than go with their "it should be fine" comment.
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Jun 10, 2015 15:14
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Hi thread, this thread is really long so I'm probably going to ask some things that were asked before. Decades ago my dad cut ties with his side of the family (I've met them -- good move) and my mom has two cousins I think? I have one cousin. My fiancee has so many cousins that he confesses to not being able to keep all of their names straight - and many of those cousins have kids too. I have plenty of friends, but so does he, so I imagine that the two sides of the aisle will be awkwardly mismatched. What's standard here - just having uneven sides or making all of our non-wedding party friends sit on my side to even things out? Anybody got any links to some good guides to saving money on weddings? I don't want to go totally cheapskate since that will look bad particularly to my fiancee's side of the family (we're both of upper middle class stock and his family is very concerned with being proper) but if there's a good way to save money I want to do it. Cakes - I dislike cake. Don't want one. What are good alternatives? Do you have pics? My best friend aside from my fiancee is also a dude. Any pics/examples of how to integrate a dude outfit into the bride's wedding party so that everybody looks coordinated? The future in-laws wouldn't approve of one of my bridesmaids being a man in drag.  (Having an openly gay man around them will be dicey enough as it is.) Is my fiancee's family Catholic? As all hell. My fiancee is tight with his older brother, who is also a priest, and my fiancee wants him to marry us. However, a close friend of my family who has been like a second mother to me is a pastor and I would like her to marry us. Is it possible to have a team of officiants? I suppose we'll just have to pick one, particularly since my fiancee's parents hate the idea of a woman pastor, but it's a sticking point with me that I won't just lie down and go full Catholic but I can't deny my fiancee his dream of having his older brother preside over his marriage. Where do you draw the line between a good friend and a wedding party quality friend? Is it expected in the reception for the two sides of the aisle to mix and chat, or is it typical for both sides to just keep to themselves?
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Jun 10, 2015 18:59
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Xibanya posted:Cakes - I dislike cake. Don't want one. What are good alternatives? Do you have pics? You can literally do anything you want! I've seen pies, donuts, rice krispie treats. If you google image "wedding cake alternatives" there are hundreds of examples. I think a good idea in this case would be a dessert bar. That way you can include cupcakes for people who are looking for cake but don't have to commit to a huge cake. It can be a good mix of things to keep everyone happy.
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Jun 10, 2015 19:32
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I was on the brink of doing pies for my grooms cake. Settled for donuts though which ended up being better overall I think. Be sure if you have a non traditional cake that the venue knows to not allow people to start tearing it apart with no regard before cake cutting. We were lucky that all the donuts were not out prior to cutting because by the time we got to the venue and finished our private time eating and got ready to go do our first dance, the venue told us the donuts were nearly all gone.
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Jun 10, 2015 19:47
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Some people also do a small simple cake just for the cake cutting, and then another dessert for everyone to actually eat. My brother did pies as the only dessert. A good quality pie from a local farm stand was like $15, and they got 10 or 15 of them. Cheaper than a cake by a mile. They really like pies though.
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Jun 10, 2015 20:02
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A friend of a friend got married this past weekend and they had an ice cream sandwich tower. And it looked awesome. Not sure how practical it was, though.
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Jun 10, 2015 20:33
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Budget Dracula posted:Is it appropriate to invite people to your bachelor party that aren't invited to your wedding? Hmmm, yeah. When I arranged my stag do (bachelor's party) I didn't even consider this really - I had one stag event in Scotland, with my old old friends, and hey I had a couple of friends from uni in Scotland who I see maybe once every couple of years. One I was pretty close to at uni, and who got an invite to the wedding, and one who I never really was that close to and was more my friend's friend anyway but hey, he was really fun on nights out and why wouldn't I invite him to the stag? yeah, that was awkward and I still feel lovely.
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Jun 10, 2015 20:38
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One and three more days! We're doing the legal wedding tomorrow at the courthouse in Santa Barbara, and then the actual wedding is Saturday in Monterey. I have been crafting like mad this week. Centerpieces just need assembled Saturday, and then we gotta go to trader Joe's to grab wildflowers for our bouquets.
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Jun 10, 2015 21:02
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Xibanya posted:Loads of questions You can save A LOT of money by doing a lot of stuff yourself. I did my own flowers and saved a few thousand dollars for example, and I also designed and printed our programs, menus, table cards and other stationary myself. If you have a wedding consignment shop in your area you can find a lot of stuff used, and then if you do have to buy stuff new you can sell it after on consignment. I would caution against overloading yourself with DIY stuff though since most of it can't be done in advance and you don't want to be stressed the hell out the entire week of your wedding trying to get everything done unless you have people you trust implicitly to help you do it and do it right. I would recommend shopping on Etsy for a lot of stuff, you can get pretty high quality things from there for not terribly much if you shop around plus you can get most things personalized which makes it look more expensive than it actually is. IMO the only two things you shouldn't cheap out on are food and pictures. Most people only come to weddings for free food and booze and will bitch if the food is bad, and if you have lovely wedding photos you don't get a re-do. Everything else you can cut corners on here and there to save a few dollars. A lot of people do pies. Some people do cookies. It's your wedding, do what you think is tasty. If you feel the need to have a cake to cut a lot of bakeries are willing to slap fondant on styrofoam to have a "show cake" and only have a tiny bit of "real" cake to cut. We got a small "show cake" and actually fed everyone sheet cakes. I've seen weddings where they have the men on the bride's side wearing matching colors with the bridesmaids, with a slightly different style of suit to set him apart from the groomsmen. Or he could just match the groomsmen, up to you. I had a Catholic wedding with almost every dispensation you can think of, if you have any Catholic wedding-specific questions feel free to PM me  As for multiple officiants, if one is Catholic that's a big huge flat-out NO. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Full stop. If you want both of them involved, I would suggest one being the officiant and the other doing a blessing before the meal at the reception, that way they each get their own thing.I would say a wedding party quality friend would be someone you don't feel weird about asking all kinds of favors from, or possibly more importantly, being naked in front of. When you're getting ready before your wedding you're going to have a whole team of people helping you and if you don't feel comfortable being topless around them while they wrangle you into your dress and crawl up your skirt to help you with your shoes then maybe reconsider them being in the bridal party. We didn't have a grooms side vs brides side at our wedding, and at the reception we purposely mingled people together at tables based on who we thought would have common interests with each other instead of keeping them separated based on who belonged to who. The 20something cousins got sat together, people from the same region got sat together, video game nerds got sat together, etc. By the end of the night my cousin was dancing with my husband's grandma, so the sides definitely do mix.
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Jun 11, 2015 00:40
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You can totally have a Catholic priest co-preside over a ceremony with a non-Catholic officiant as well. There are certain words and things that the priest needs to say to be Catho-kosher, but it can go quite nicely. For my wedding my husband is jewish, and my dad was a co-presiding deacon (like a junior priest, but can be married) with a very open minded rabbi. Another friend was married by my dad and her husband's dad was the co-officiant (of a Jim-Bob's church type of church). It can be done. Especially with your future brother-in-law as the priest, should be easier than most!
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Jun 11, 2015 01:50
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JustAurora posted:You can totally have a Catholic priest co-preside over a ceremony with a non-Catholic officiant as well. There are certain words and things that the priest needs to say to be Catho-kosher, but it can go quite nicely. For my wedding my husband is jewish, and my dad was a co-presiding deacon (like a junior priest, but can be married) with a very open minded rabbi. Another friend was married by my dad and her husband's dad was the co-officiant (of a Jim-Bob's church type of church). It can be done. Especially with your future brother-in-law as the priest, should be easier than most! It really does depend on how hardcore stickler for the rules the priest is. We were working from three different locations and ended up with three different priests involved at one point and all of them had much different approaches to the whole wedding thing. The one who ended up officiating found us all sorts of loopholes (we didn't have to do the premarital counseling thanks to him). On the flip side, my friends tried to have a Catholic wedding but outdoors and their priest refused to officiate a wedding not in a Catholic church. This was a priest they'd known for YEARS so ymmv. None of the priests we worked with would've been open to a co-officiant, even the really lax rule-bending one.
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Jun 11, 2015 02:15
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:It really does depend on how hardcore stickler for the rules the priest is. We were working from three different locations and ended up with three different priests involved at one point and all of them had much different approaches to the whole wedding thing. The one who ended up officiating found us all sorts of loopholes (we didn't have to do the premarital counseling thanks to him). Came to say basically this. You could possibly find a liberal minded priest, and you have a good chance with your brother in law. But officially, the Catholic Church says no to anything other than church wedding, with *the official* Catholic vows (you can't write your own or use anything else), and premarital counciling with the priest marrying you. (You will get to discuss family planning with your brother in law, yay!) There is some sort of blessing you can get from the church after the fact in you get married outside the church, though I can't recall if at the time. I was a very bad CCD student.
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Jun 11, 2015 03:43
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Adding to that, a deacon can do the sacrament of matrimony but cannot perform the mass part. You could have a Catholic deacon and non-Catholic minister co-officiate but you cannot have a Catholic priest and non-Catholic minister co-officiate. I did 10 years of Catholic school and did the whole Catholic wedding song and dance not too long ago, so seriously if anyone has any paperwork or rules questions just ask. There are A LOT of rules and paperwork and red tape. Since it sounds like you're not Catholic but he is, you'll need a dispensation from disparity of cult handed out by the bishop of the diocese where you'll be getting married. If you live in one diocese but are getting married in another all the paperwork has to be transferred from bishop to bishop. Allow a lot of time for this. Edit: I think there are some special rules for blending Jewish and Catholic weddings but I think that's the only religion they'll share with. Problem! fucked around with this message at 04:07 on Jun 11, 2015 |
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Jun 11, 2015 04:05
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Thank you for the very thoughtful responses. Lolwat with the bishop that's nuts. I'm not even sure if my fiancée knows about that hiccup (although I guess his bro will give him a heads up.) As far as family planning goes, we've already rehearsed what we're going to say since I coached my fiancée on this so that he could convince his parents to not disown him for marrying a Protestant. Oh yeah will def have 2.5 children and all baptized catholic-style mmhmm. And no condams or whatever. (Joke's on them I have the implant.)
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Jun 11, 2015 07:37
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Xibanya posted:Hi thread, this thread is really long so I'm probably going to ask some things that were asked before. Yay I get to answer questions others have answered! Don't worry about "sides"...the whole "you sit here" thing shouldn't be a big deal at most places. If you don't tell people where to sit at the ceremony people will fill in. If you are worried about the reception...you make the seating chart. If you don't want to do cake I was at a wedding that they did a chocolate fountain that worked great. They had a white and milk chocolate fountain (one on each side) and then a bunch of things like fruit, cake balls, rice krispy treats, etc. to use with it. People actually thought it was a great idea. My fiancé's Man of Honor is her gay friend and my Best Maiden is my best girl friend. Just make all the men wear the same thing and all the women wear the same thing. If people give you poo poo for it tell them to suck your dick dry because it is your wedding and you will do what you want. (Get used to telling people to gently caress off...you will do it nicely at first, but as you go along you will be do it more and more aggressively.) As far as officiates go...you will have to have that discussion with your fiancé. Most of us here will tell you that is something only you guys can hash out. If you don't want a Catholic ceremony that is the time to go over that as well...remember Catholic ceremonies are usually a full mass compared to a short 15 minute thing involving sand. Good luck!
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Jun 11, 2015 14:23
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As a supplement, Xibanya, my fiancee and I agreed that her pastor would marry us. It's cool with me because my parents go to the same church and thus I know him well and really respect him. Plus he does a lot more weddings than my priest. I'm Anglican, and so we also agreed that my priest would be present and have a role in the wedding, so he's going to do communion. I'm a little worried about how we're going to pay them though. As far as I know, tradition is for the groom to pay the officiants. Her pastor basically said he would be offended if we tried to pay him, so we don't know what to do there other than a thoughtful gift after the fact. How does one usually pay pastoral officiants, especially when they say not to pay them (I feel this is just them being, well, pastors)? I'm not sure how to pay my church rector either, so do I just put together a few hundred and hope that is fair?
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Jun 11, 2015 14:40
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life is killing me posted:As a supplement, Xibanya, my fiancee and I agreed that her pastor would marry us. It's cool with me because my parents go to the same church and thus I know him well and really respect him. Plus he does a lot more weddings than my priest. I'm Anglican, and so we also agreed that my priest would be present and have a role in the wedding, so he's going to do communion. Make a nice donation to the church, or get them a gift. I guess that is the good and bad side of a priest officiate.
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Jun 11, 2015 14:58
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We are getting married at a hotel in August, and doing a Catholic convalidation ceremony in October to have our marriage "recognized" by the church.
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Jun 11, 2015 20:22
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Yikes that's complicated. I should probably hit up future brother in law to get the lowdown. See, this complicated poo poo is why the great schism happened. 
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Jun 11, 2015 20:46
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Xibanya posted:Thank you for the very thoughtful responses. Lolwat with the bishop that's nuts. I'm not even sure if my fiancée knows about that hiccup (although I guess his bro will give him a heads up.) It's not that difficult IF you follow the process to a letter which isn't too bad if you have a priest helping you who's got a good handle on it. One fuckup could set you back quite a bit or make your wedding not happen altogether though.
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Jun 11, 2015 23:36
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:
They'll also play (somewhat) nicely with Eastern Orthodox. Going through that with my Catholic fiancee right now. They're both of the Liturgical tradition, so as long as his Uncle The Priest serves in the ceremony as well, we should be able to shut most of his family up.
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Jun 12, 2015 01:20
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My cousin is Irish-Italian Catholic. Her husband-in-a-month is Mexican Catholic. Hearing just a little bit about the crap they have to go through to get married in the Church makes me glad that we're not of any particular denomination. We're almost certainly going to get married by the preacher from our local Abyssinian church, and there's no bureaucracy at all.
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Jun 12, 2015 02:56
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It's done and now I am officially Mrs. Bloodychill. Now to finish this weekend without any murder of his mom or my grandma when they bother me about having kids for the 18th time in an hour.
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Jun 12, 2015 06:47
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Drone posted:So my partner and I have been engaged since November and are now starting to do our paperwork/planning for our civil union. Since we're a binational pair (I'm American, he's German, we live in Germany), the paperwork apparently takes quite a bit of time, so we'd like to use that buffer to actually get the event planning out of the way. I posted this a few pages ago about having a teeny-tiny-but-somehow-also-not-boring-because-of-it wedding. Does anyone have any tips here?
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Jun 12, 2015 08:24
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Destination wedding question. We are going to Costa Rica for our wedding with a group totaling 26 (including us). Everyone is staying at the same hotel and the ceremony and reception will both be there. We are staying 3 nights, so I am figuring I would probably leave a tip for the hotel staff at the end of everything. I have no idea what to base the tip off of or how much would be appropriate. Google says yeah tip for good service which is kind of a given. It is not an all inclusive if that matters, so we are kind of taking over the place to some extent.
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Jun 12, 2015 15:47
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Jamais Vu Again posted:It's done and now I am officially Mrs. Bloodychill. Now to finish this weekend without any murder of his mom or my grandma when they bother me about having kids for the 18th time in an hour. "When's the last time YOU had sex?" "Err uh..." "So stop asking me when I'm going to have sex next or I'll start calling you five times a day to report it every time we do!" They'll shut up PDQ.
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Jun 13, 2015 00:27
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gtkor posted:Destination wedding question. Maybe it's just because I am British and so from a land where tips are way less compulsory, but I am not quite sure why you feel you should leave a tip - it's a hotel, it's a business, they will be used to having a full house and will have charged you for rooms, use of facilities, and so on at the appropriate rate for what you are doing. I don't think it's any different to separate groups all occupying the same space with one using it for a wedding.
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Jun 14, 2015 17:23
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Tipping has been more or less expected at excursions or places I have been in Costa Rica in the past. I mean I guess I could not, but it seems like a more common thing at least in the areas I have been in the country.
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Jun 14, 2015 20:08
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Bollock Monkey posted:Maybe it's just because I am British and so from a land where tips are way less compulsory, but I am not quite sure why you feel you should leave a tip - it's a hotel, it's a business, they will be used to having a full house and will have charged you for rooms, use of facilities, and so on at the appropriate rate for what you are doing. I don't think it's any different to separate groups all occupying the same space with one using it for a wedding. But a large number of Americans aren't aware you are supposed to tip cleaning staff, valet, and other service positions. If you have 100 people staying in a hotel I would guess 10 people would tip cleaning staff.
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Jun 15, 2015 14:16
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Is there any resource for liquor laws related to weddings by state? I can only find special event permits for non-profit fundraisers. The thing is, the law those reference is about selling alcohol by the glass. I can't find anything about hosting an event with free alcohol.
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Jun 16, 2015 19:21
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Is there any resource for liquor laws related to weddings by state? I can only find special event permits for non-profit fundraisers. The thing is, the law those reference is about selling alcohol by the glass. I can't find anything about hosting an event with free alcohol. Are you having it at your home or at a venue?
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Jun 16, 2015 21:24
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Is there any resource for liquor laws related to weddings by state? I can only find special event permits for non-profit fundraisers. The thing is, the law those reference is about selling alcohol by the glass. I can't find anything about hosting an event with free alcohol. I would probably start by calling your local government offices and ask about the regs. My understanding is that a lot of states if you're self-serving it and offering at a party on your property, it's not an issue. If you're having a caterer serve it, that might make it more complicated.
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Jun 16, 2015 21:43
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In TN, it must be served by a licensed bartender. Anyone else seriously freak out right before signing contracts for venues? I'm fine getting married, that doesn't bother me at all. It's the "This date is final, please hand me 50% of the venue rental rate right now please!" that's getting to me. I already want to run to the courthouse and knock this poo poo out, rent out a bar for a party or something.
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Jun 16, 2015 22:31
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Is there any resource for liquor laws related to weddings by state? I can only find special event permits for non-profit fundraisers. The thing is, the law those reference is about selling alcohol by the glass. I can't find anything about hosting an event with free alcohol. Ask your reception venue, they'll know. In Virginia you need a special event permit from the ABC board. Edit: A bit of googling turns up this: https://www.colorado.gov/pacific/sites/default/files/Special%20Event%20Permit%20%28DR8439%29.pdf Even if you're having a backyard reception you should apply for a permit and have it displayed in case some rear end in a top hat neighbor calls the cops for a noise violation or something dumb. Your reception would fall under the "social" category. Problem! fucked around with this message at 00:14 on Jun 17, 2015 |
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Jun 17, 2015 00:04
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OssiansFolly posted:Are you having it at your home or at a venue? Vacation home.
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Jun 17, 2015 00:51
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Vacation home. It is your property...you do what you want on your property. Now, that being said, call your insurance agent and get Special Event coverage for a million dollars for that day. Because if someone drinks too much and kills a family of 4 they have no one to sue but you.
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Jun 17, 2015 13:56
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I'll look at that PDF when I'm on a pc, my phone will only open downloaded PDFs. I'll also look into the special event insurance. None of the people we are inviting tend to be big drinkers, but given how much a wedding costs, it probably won't be all that much by comparison. Honestly the more I plan this the more I want to elope. E: also, it's a rental vacation home, not our own. Not sure how much of a difference that makes. And yes, I'm making sure they allow events.
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Jun 17, 2015 18:17
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